Who's the dumbest person YOU ever met?

My best friend literally got PISSED when I argued that a shark was NOT a _male dolphin._

It is very hard to win an argument against an intelligent person. It is impossible to win against a stupid one.

Girl we were with asked my friend where he was from. He said Egypt. She says "ya right, Egypt's an ancient civilization like Atlantis!" We were all at a loss for words.

The dumbest thing I've ever heard a person say was that there are 100 millimeters in a centimeter. It wasn't necessarily what he said that was dumb, you know, everyone makes mistakes.. maybe he never got the hang of it in school.. but it was the conviction he had in his voice, the look he gave me, as if I was the dumb one for suggesting it could be anything else but 100 mm in a cm. I gave him a ruler, asked him to point out what a centimeter was, he pointed out what a cm was on the ruler perfectly, I asked him what a millimeter was, he pointed at all the little stripes between two cm stripes, great! I asked him again, how many mm in a cm? 100, again, as if I was a moron? Like he just showed me how stupid I was? I asked him to count the stripes between the cm, he looked at me as if I was going to make him count to 100 for nothing, I said "go ahead, do it". He counted 10. He just went "oh", there was a short silence and then we just changed the subject.. worst intern I've ever had..

I had a girl in one of my high school classes ask the entire class: "Does anyone else drive with their eyes closed just to see how far you can get?" Very seriously and no one laughed. Just looked at her like she was stupid.

"If you want eggs, you need goats." I choked on my tea

I’m deaf/hard of hearing. When I got my drivers license in high school, this girl asked me “well if deaf people can drive...does that mean blind people can drive?” I was just like 👁👄👁

"Nein Eleven" lmao I laughed harder than I should have

"She could've been born missing her whole brain like her mother" r/murderedbywords

Me: ok we have 4 so we need 14 more bags. Coworker: but we need 18. Me: ...yeah? Cw: so we need 18 more. Me: no we have 4 already so we just need 14. Cw: kay. *10 bags later* Cw: ok there are 14 in there but im telling you it doesn't look as full as it usually does. Me: ...yeah cuz we still need 4 more. Cw: but you said 14. Me: ...yes 14 MORE to ADD to the 4 already in the box. Cw: Me: 4 + 14 = 18 Cw: whatever i don't get it just do it yourself. *stomps away* Me: Other Coworker: wtf just happened?

I am so happy I get to post this.. I was afraid that I would pass away one day without people knowing the tale.. so this girl was drop dead gorgeous and everyone used to joke that she is lucky because if she didn't have other people looking out for her safety there is no way she would have survived so long.. One day in class she raised her hand, once called on this was her question, 'I'm sorry but how do you spell VCR!" everyone laughed and the teacher slowly spelled V-C-R. She responded, "yes but how do you spell it" bahahaha uproar with laughter.. another day she joined the swim team and it was just her myself and the captain and the girl asked, "you all swim so far underwater I don't understand how you are breathing down there..." the captain and I just walked away and the captain says "God I wanted to tell her next time she was underwater to just take in a huge breath, but I was afraid I would actually kill her." I hope she married well cause she needs to be looked after lol

My sister-in-law sent out wedding invitations to people and left their addresses off... when asked she said “doesn’t the mailman know where they live?”

"Penguins aren't birds, they're animals." "Iraqers shouldn't war us. We're all childs of Jesus." "You can see through glass, because it's made of a type of ice." "Is Donald Trump the president of the moon too?" -heard on the bus

The best was from a girl in my brothers class she was like wow it seems like everyone's birthday is this year

One girl in middle school asked my teacher "is that the lesbian flag?" guess what flag it was, the Wisconsin flag. Here is the convo that happened after, T for teacher and G for girl- T:"no honey, that is the flag of our state" G:"nuh uh, my mama told me it was the lesbian flag" T:"you must be thinking of Lesbos" G:"no you old hag, I'm talking about the sexuality" She was promptly told to go to the principles office for insulting the teacher over something so god darn stupid

"A dozen raw eggs?? Did she give birth to Gaston??" lost it X'D

my dads girlfriend who reguarly get drunk on 0% alcohol wine or the guy who asked me if i survived my cancer after i told him i had cancer when i was a kid

I told my class I was Asian. My friend says, " You're Asian? I thought you were Vietnamese?"

"I see the disinfectant that knocks it out in a minute, one minute. And is there a way we can do something like that by injection inside or almost a cleaning? As you see, it gets in the lungs, it does a tremendous number on the lungs, so it would be interesting to check that."

For more than half of these stories, I had to pause and take a breath or rewind a few seconds to make sure I wasn’t hearing things or having a stroke.

A conversation I overheard in high school: "Octopus have ten legs" "What? No they don't. They have eight. Octo- like octogon" "No it's ten! They're called tentacles. Like ten tickles!"

A lady I worked with thought that bunnies were hatched from eggs. Because the Easter Bunny likes decorated eggs. This woman was in her 40's. How she managed to survive that long is beyond me.

For the bb gun one. This is why the first rule of gun safety is "always consider your weapon as loaded, even when you KNOW it's not"

One of my classmates in high school science asked what the moon was for. He believed that the moon was a man-made object, and that Neil Armstrong was the one who built it.

I was making small talk with this girl in college when she straight up said "I don't believe in the pyramids" Me: Like...the ones from Egypt? You don't...believe they exist? Her: No. Me: May I ask why? Her: Because they're supposed to have been built several thousand years ago and that's impossible since the Earth is only 2000 years old. Needless to say, I didn't talk to her again after that night.

10:26 Rule #1 of gun safety: treat any firearm as if it were loaded, no matter how certain you are that it is not.

"Stop showing me those flashy colors! I'll go colorblind!!!" is my younger sisters reaction to showing her a green and purple square.

I bought something at Target and the total came out to something like 10.26. All I had was a 20 dollar bill and change, so I handed her 20.26. She hands back the change, saying, "20 is enough to cover it." And I said, "Yeah, I'm giving you the change so you can give me a $10 back instead of $9 and change. She looked at me confused. I said, "The total is $10.26, so if I give you $20.26, that means I get $10 back." She shook her head and handed me $9 and change and says something along the lines of "Na, That's too confusing."

the dishwasher was actually a genius who had cleaning compulsion, and played dumb because he really only wanted to wash dishes

My boss’s wife asked me if I served in WWII. I’m 54. She’s 56. (WWll ended 74 years ago)

These stories are one of the scariest thing I've ever heard!! 🤯 I'm from Finland and I don't think I've ever been as thankful to have our good school system than after listening this.

An older woman once told me that she slept around with a lot of guys when she was around my age. When asked about protection she said, "There were no STD's back then."

Girl on bus: "Penguins aren't birds, they're animals."

I had to teach my ex how to tell time. I made her look at the clock when shifted 3.59 pm to 4.00. She was totally freaked out. Then she started to cry and mumbled. "No wonder i failed that test during a job interview" . They had to write down, in minutes, how long it took to finish a clients job. For a job that took 80 minutes she had written "stared at 8.00 am, finished at 8.80 am" and so on.

I pointed out Birmingham on a globe to a girl in my class, but she insisted that city was 'Birm' and not Birmingham because it was abbrieviated that way on the map. She was *from* Birmingham.

"She thought hippos were made up. Like Unicorns." Sara sounds great, like having a dog you don't have to bathe

I am from england. My school organised a trip to to italy. A girl in my class wanted to impress the waiter and asked me what "Pizza" was in Italian. When I said just ask for Pizza then, she looked at me like I was mad and said, "But that's a tower here". The same girl asked me where files go when you delete them. Turns out she thought when you make a folder or file on a computer, it literally makes a tiny document. "That's why when you print it, you have to tell it what size you want it to be." I was dumbfounded. I loved her explanation of these miniature files inside computers. I sat through every word of it, because it was like something out of a Terry Pratchett novel.

"Eating children would not be a good thing to do. In fact, we could say it would be bad." I can see how that would burn into one's memory.

Fun fact, there's a procedure called a hemispherectomy that can be performed on a young child that involves disabling or straight up removing up to half of the brain. It's done in extreme cases where a child has debilitating epileptic seizures. When that much of the brain is removed at a young age, the remaining half actually picks up the functions of the missing half and develops the same way that a full brain would. So a child who has had half a brain removed can actually function pretty normally compared to someone with a full brain. Sometimes people who have had hemispherectomies can have trouble with speech or memory, but it would be as a result of a complication in the procedure, not from losing half of the brain.

The dumbest person I've ever met was the girl in my math class. She literally stood up in front of the whole class and said in an entitled voice: "What country is Asia in?" I've never laughed more in my life.😂

A classmate told my friend she was allergic to apples. The next day she walked in eating an apple. My friend said "Hey aren't you allergic to those?" The classmate stared at the apple for awhile and said "I guess not" then proceeded to walk away while eating it.

"you could die. as in, actually, in the ground, dead." thanks for clearing this up! :D

Me and my college roommate went to a classmates house and met her dog. When we got home she laughed and said “I can’t believe Anna talks to her dog in Spanish.... everyone knows dogs only understand English” 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️ I laughed thinking she was kidding... she wasn’t

I had a friend when I was in the 10th grade who thought that 'fisting' meant petting and told me and 3 other friends that he loves to 'fist' his dog and when we told him what it really meant he said "No you guys are just making that up to make me look like an idiot ". It has been 3 years since then and we still tease him about it

"Pretty sure that was Nein Eleven." Ok, this guy wins.

'She thought France was in Canada.' It is. Its called Québec.

I had to explain to my ex (who's parents are German and lived through WW2) that the axis powers were Germany, Italy and Japan. And the US was an ally with Russia. I literally had to pull up Wikipedia and other news/text articles to prove it.

There was this girl who sat behind me in English, she was so sweet to me and always included me in things even though I'm autistic and can be a bit weird. One day we were chatting about stuff and I found out she believed that the White House was in London, deserts were just really big beaches, and sharks lived in the jungle (in the rivers)

This dude told me in all seriousness that baby's are born deaf which is why they don't talk to you when they are young. What the hell?

"If you want eggs you need goats" Oh that is a delight.

Technically, the moon and sun are made of the same stuff: atoms

"I have legit encountered someone who claimed that NASA is fake," yeah, aren't such people called "flat-earthers"?

Whenever I hear the words "There's no such thing as a stupid question" it always sounds like a challenge.

I had this part-time job at a western store as a stock guy. One day I was talking to one of the CSRs and she asked me why I was so jumpy. I explainded to her that I had grown up in a bad area and that i got jumped multiple times a week for about 7 years. Upon hearing this she asked "did it hurt?" Not once, but twice. They fired me because upon the second time I realized she wasn't joking and just lost it laughing at the absurdity that she didn't understand that getting beaten up, hurts. They were trying to make me apologize for laughing at her and everytime I tried to go talk to her I just ended up laughing again.

One of the most notable dumb moments for me was in elementary school where we were talking about the different nationalities of our families. I mentioned that one of my white ancestors was German and this boy next to me goes "Wait, you're a Nazi?" I kind of ignored him and added that I'm 25% Japanese and he exclaims "So you *are* a Nazi!" ...Yes, a 7 year old is prejudiced against an entire religion because of her ancestry. Side story: My mom had a dumb friend all throughout school, and one time while walking home at night she started arguing that Abraham Lincoln was the first president because he didn't have fancy clothes and lived in a log cabin (aka he wasn't a rich guy), so my mom said "Ask anyone on the street and they'll say you're wrong." THIS GIRL WALKS UP TO A RANDOM HOUSE AT 10PM AND KNOCKS ON A DOOR TO TRY AND PROVE HER POINT. Suffice to say my mom was embarrassed af and tried to walk away pretending she didn't know her until the girl turned around and yelled *"I HATE IT WHEN YOU'RE RIGHT"*

some girls in my school thought that the UK was in America. 3 of them. WE LIVE IN THE UK.

My mother went to the USA to work and had this conversation with someone: Stranger: Where are you from? Mum: England Stranger: How long have you been here? Mum: A few months Stranger: Wow! Your English is very good My dad went to the USA to work and had this conversation: Stranger: Where are you from? Dad: Iran Stranger: Wow that's really far! Like further away than New York right?

I was in an argument with some friends, when one of them said that if a 200 pound man in a wheelchair ran over your foot, it wouldn’t hurt at all because the weight would be equally distributed across all four wheels. to which my other friend replied, don’t wheelchairs have two wheels?

I literally died when it came to the “nein eleven” joke.

“Tazete Tazone” Laughed so hard I woke up my dog. She is not pleased.

Girl I met: "What are you going to school for?" Me: "I'm taking physics courses so I can be an engineer" Girl I met: "What's physics?" My inside voice: "What the Hell?"

The dumbest thing I can recount someone saying was after I said I had a great grandpa that served in both WWI and WWII. They said "No he didn't, stop lying. WWI and WWII were 1000 years apart!"

We were watching a documentary on Lewis and Clark and they showed Lewis on a boat with his dog and this random girl raised her hand and asked loudly " Is the dog Clark?"

I went to school with this girl that thought drinking Tylenol prevented sunburn, and when I tried to argue three other people agreed with her. We were all 17/18 at the time. She also got fired from her job as a waitress for eating someone's order. A full plate of food was sitting there waiting to be taken to its table, and because the table wasn't in her section, she just assumed it was "an extra plate" and ate it.

My sons mother would tell him “I love you to the Milky Way and back” my eight year old tells her that means nothing because we are in the Milky Way. Her response “we are not in the Milky Way, that’s impossible because we can see the milky way “

The dumbest person I’ve ever met was one of my friend’s ex-wife. He refused to allow a microwave in his house because she tried to cook raw meat in the microwave.

Ah yes the incredible delicacy that is goat eggs!

I was in English when my teacher started talking about the Titanic, then a girl chipped in saying “It’s so sad that all those people died, good thing it was just a movie”, to which the teacher face palmed and gave up on that student

Nein Eleven, that one killed it 😂...GUTER WITZ

"...do you have t.v.in Europe?" It was invented by a Scotsman, John Logie Baird!

17:21 Best. Censorship. EVER.

So... happened to my brother, not me. We are from Alaska and my brother went down to the lower 48 on a school trip going to different sites that were significant to the civil war. After having a great time, him and his group tried to get on their plane to come back up here... Come to find out that the person accepting tickets for boarding wasn't going to let them on the plane. She explained that their tickets were wrong and they couldn't board because of it. They asked why the tickets were wrong? She said that these were labled as U.S. tickets and that their destination was Alaska. My brother's group asked why that was a problem and she said that Alaska was part of Canada, so these tickets were obviously wrong... They argued about this for awhile until they got to explain to a manager why the line was held up. She got taken aside, whispered to and replaced by the manager out front as she disappeared into a back room. I'm actually kinda sorry for her that she didn't know that.

When I was 17 (I'm 23 now FYI) I was talking to a group of girls who were sort of friends (ages 15-18) I have no idea how the topic came about but i mentioned Martin Luther King and this girl says "Oh yeah I saw him at the Olympics" WHAT

I never met them personally. In a television show, I saw a group of teenagers were asked to name the ocean which borders the United States's west coast. Many answered "Indian Ocean," or "Atlantic Ocean."

When my daughter was serving in Iraq, driving the lead gun truck on overnight fuel convoys, I had a lady tell me that that was impossible because women weren’t allowed on the front lines in a war zone! When my twins, a boy and a girl, were babies people used to constantly ask me if they were identical. My standard answer was “not the last time I changed their diapers”. But, sometimes when I was in a hurry, I would just tell them yes and let them figure out later that they’re idiots.

10:24 The cardinal rules of gun safety also apply to bb/airsoft guns. The most important of which being, treat every gun as if it is loaded

I had to tell a girl in my class (we were 13) that beef came from cows. Her follow up question was a horrified 'is my burger still alive when I eat it?'

Ah, had at work some guy, who answered every sentence with: "I know." This dude was so stupid, told him like 3x per day not to touch the wagons on the outside, only on the handbars. Dude answered always with: "I know." 2 weeks later, he squished his stupid hands, when the wagon passed a narrow section inside our facility, only like 1/4 inch room. Blood everywhere. He left the worksite after his recovering, because, his hands were wrecked beyond use.

1:50 to 3:50 sounded like the people in the stories had some major ADHD. I should know, I have it myself. Especially the one with girl with glazed over eyes who was most likely just daydreaming and not actually an idiot.

My mother-in-law insisted that my son is "artistic" instead of his actual diagnosis of "Autistic" and his behaviors were caused by "artistic temperament" instead of sensory issues and developmental difficulties. I don't miss her at all because she was cruel to him at times. I restricted any contact with her.

I remember walking home from school with a kid a couple grades below me. There were a lot of bees out that day buzzing around. He told me he had to be careful because he was allergic to bees. I said "OK", I didn't disbelieve him, I just wasn't impressed or anything. But I guess he felt he wanted to prove it. When a bee buzzed by pretty close he stopped and then went "AHHHH-CHOOOO!!!" I started cracking up.

A girl in my high school MATH class asked how countries floated on the ocean without moving

4:39 sounds like a case of crippling overspecialization. the guy's so good at one thing that he has no room in his head for any other skills.

In high school, I was walking through the halls with this one girl. She asked why they didn’t make the Braille dots a different color so the blind people could see them better.

For the dishwashing guy - I've always heard that to succeed in your given field (at least in art/comics) you need to be two of three things: 1) Extremely talented 2) Efficient/never miss a deadline 3) a DELIGHT to interact with over the phone/email/in person You can be bad at one of them, as long as you've got the other two covered. Sounds like that guy's got it all sorted.

The one where he quoted "If you want eggs, you need goats" killed me

My brother and mother made me feel like the dumbest person on earth when they were. I was preparing for my university's entry test. My university usually has a big demand so to cut the students they have an entry test otherwise they wouldn't have the space where to put us all. One of the question on one of the 'try' tests was asking the capital city of Tunisia. I replied quite unsure Ankaara because I've heard it many times in the news. My brother and mother were shocked saying it was Istanbul. I caved inside. I thought it was obvious they were right and I failed such a dumb question. Indeed Istanbul is one if not the biggest city in Tunisia. After telling that to my father he sounded confused. He said it's not Istanbul but Ankaara and that they were wrong. I wanted to disappear. I was unsure of myself and that's why I believed them. If it was a real test and someone made me feel that way, I could've believed them on the spot. And maybe fail. I told them they were wrong all along and they became embarassed after knowing I was right.

"Is Africa a country or a state...?" Me: "Africa... is a continent." "No, it's a country because Nelson Mandela is their president! He even said 'I have a dream!'" Me: Edit: Ok so I also just got into an argument with an adult who thought Anne Frank was African American...

My sister. In her thirties, she called me to "come help her", she was stranded with car trouble. I obliged, she is a lot younger than me and has learned to reach out to me for minor inconveniences and it just became a lifestyle for us. I had the car towed to a garage, then took her to her destination. Later in the day she called me to inform me, confused, that her engine locked up due to having absolutely no oil. I asked her if the oil light had came on, because she will usually call me for stuff like that too. She said she didn't know. I asked her when she last had an oil change, she had no idea what I was talking about. Finally, frustrated, and to save time, I just barked a question at her: "Do you realize you ruined a 2 year old car from neglecting the oil level???" She was deadass serious and said, "but I put gas in it, like, all the time."

1:46 I honestly thought for a second that he vaped the planet, so yeah put me on that list next time its asked.

Also, "facing the store" in Danish translates to "trimming the store", I can imagine the ignorant coworker walking around with scissors, confused.

Once we made a guy believe that there are people way out in the ocean, the so called "water stompers", and that's where waves come from. Same guy believed sand was made in big factories by grinding seashells. Also the same guy once looked at a half-moon and asked "do you guys think we're still getting a full moon today?"

Customer walks out of bathroom: "where's your bathroom?" Customer: "does the meat lover's pizza have meat on it?" At the cash register, only person in the building. Customer: "Do I pay for this here?"

Had a receptionist once who was so dumb. If you ever asked her to find you a chart she’d just stand there with her mouth open and a blank expression until you found your own damn chart. Our manager should have known when she brought her mother to her job interview. True story.

cousin was calling me after i travelled, and asked "do you guys have bathrooms where you live???" and was amazed when we said yes

"She thought France was in Canada!" Quebec separatists have joined the chat.

It was actually a GROUP of people. I used to work next to a bank and left work one evening, noticing people trying to break into a car in the bank drive-thru with no success. I immediately noticed that the passenger's side window was rolled down, so I went over to mention it. Before I could tell them though, they waved me off, saying they didn't need my help and that a locksmith was en route. Smirking, I watched as the locksmith, as well, did not notice the window and struggled (unsuccessully) to pop the lock on the driver's side. Unable to control my laughter, I announced it to the group. The locksmith walked around the car, unlocked the door, leaned in through the door, pulled the keys from the ignition, and charged them $50.

11:55 A co-worker at a disability house I also worked out told me, upon arriving for my shift, to be EXTREMELY CAREFUL how I worded things to Client D (who had Down's Syndrome). "Why? What's happened?" I asked. Because some staff member had told Client D that when he finished work he was going to catch the train to town. Client D shortly thereafter went missing; was found by distressed railway staff standing in the middle of a busy train line. Apparently, he was "trying to catch a train"...Standing, arms spread wide...lucky for him he didn't.

It's scary to think that Sara has a driver's license. She'd probably think a shoulder check is something you cash in at the bank.