Recovering from Narcissistic Abuse: Identifying and Managing Emotional Triggers

Рет қаралды 13,909

Жыл бұрын

In this live stream I'll be covering what an emotional trigger is, how to recognise it and ways to learn to manage them better. Also how and why narcissists learn what buttons to push in order to trigger others, to get the response they want, and sometimes use your triggers against you.
Hope to see you then
#narcissisticabuseawareness #trauma #traumahealing

Пікірлер: 53

@DarrenFMagee Жыл бұрын

Thank you so much for joining me this evening and a huge thank you to everyone who used the Super Chat I really appreciate your support and I will respond to any comments or questions you may have had as I read them back Apologies for the poor quality at the beginning of the livestream, I was broadcasting during a storm outside so maybe that affected the WiFi? Not sure I'm still learning how the 21st Century works!

@gabrielleaumont3971 Жыл бұрын

Be brave be strong but not hateful. Let it go. It may take some time, but each time "trigger" comes, take a deep breath and let the memory go. God journey!

@kaystephens2672 Жыл бұрын

Darren, I want to thank you for your work and your diligence in getting to the root of the problems that many of face today with family members and our past experiences. Many of them patterns of behavior that we can't seem to figure out. I just watched a woman's lecture on coercive control in the family system and I believe it helped me greatly. What I've learned from that lecture was profound. I'm in my 60s and realized many things about my family's past. I have a mentally disabled brother who was not properly cared for all throughout his life. The family's reaction to Him was the problem. Made the problem. He was an innocent child in the midst of ignorant adults. And it was their influence that further aggravated his situation. Just now did I See how evil is generated through fear and lies and ignorance. It ( their behavior ) became the problem that spanned 3 generations. I will say thus, I am thankful to have been given the insight to have recognized this. He was oppressed and I was too through being stigmatized by "he Family". The scapegoat needed to keep the "freak" away. This was psychological abuse by ingnorant, greedy people. None of who I have anything to do with. I appreciate people like you who have compassion and determination to help those in need. One day, you just see it and can never unsee the truth of what is hidden. .

@terrid.9204 Жыл бұрын

Every betrayal begins with trust.

@gabrielleaumont3971 Жыл бұрын

This is a STRONG statement and so true! Wow!

@whitehairvillain36 4 ай бұрын

Took me a little while to understand this but how brilliant!

@sheilamurry9875 Жыл бұрын

Betrayal is utterly cruel

@psychicconsultant453 Жыл бұрын

You always put out some great info in a way that's easy to understand and applicable to real life situations. Thank you for the great work you do

@andreweaton1958 Жыл бұрын

Thank you Darren. This livestream was both fascinating and frightening, at the same time. It's amazing to think that once you give up too much information about yourself, it can be used against you, by the very people that you trust.

@jenacodex Жыл бұрын

I've gotten to a point where if someone is giving me a troubling vibe I'll pretend I'm worried about something I'm not worried about at all. Nothing major, it never has to be huge for an ill-intentioned person to try to use it against you. If they turn around and bring it up when I say no to something unrelated I end the association. It's not foolproof but has been illustrative here and there.

@llkellenba Жыл бұрын

I had this experience in my late 60’s when a difficult “friend” I’d known for a long time, a person I’d finally decided I’d had enough of the mean whiplash I consistently experienced when engaging with her, she literally brings up in a shaming manner the most sensitive topic that I’d ever shared with her…it was a stunningly vicious stab straight at my heart. Confirmation is what it was. Run not walk away from this narcissist.

@sisugirl1702 Жыл бұрын

Than you for the video! I find hearing information repeated with different contexts and examples helps it sink in better for me. Something I already "knew" will suddenly hit me differently and bring new insight. So, your content topic over-lap is perfect for increasing my understanding and healing. I also enjoy your personal stories, Sci-Fi references and perceived presentation imperfections! It is humanizing and makes you relatable.

@dianajane6185 Жыл бұрын

This has been wonderful, Darrin. I really appreciate these teachings, and your calm, straightforward manner. Thank you.

@someonesdaughter3180 Жыл бұрын

Thank you so much. I am about to attend two special occasion events with a small group of people who have been incredibly difficult for the last two years and it caused a great deal of suffering. Your content is helpful and I think I will listen a few times, to this one, so my mind can better absorb the points you make. It is much appreciated.

@ginag2375 Жыл бұрын

I just found your videos and they are SO HELPFUL! Thank you so much for sharing your knowledge and insight. ❤️

@martinamoskale2445 Жыл бұрын

I love the Cranberries and their wonderful song "linger". Brings back lovely memories of holidays on the irish westcoast in the 1990's... What I don't love though are the memories that linger on in my psyche of the covert narcissistic family I had to grow up with. To everyone in the village they were hardworking,decent people providing for their people. At home though there was hell almost any day. The consumption of alcohol on their part made it worse even. They triggered each other by the minute so to say.There were shouting matches and violence. I could go on for hours...I know this shouldn't be the case but I'm very happy there are more people all over the world who have had similar experiences. Sounds stupid but it gives me some sense of "belonging". I mean I'm glad there are people who understand what I'm talking about as there are few who can relate to what suffering from narcissistic abuse and having been programmed by their mindsets and attitudes feels like. I hope it makes sense. English is not my1st language. I like your channel very much. You give very good and understandable information . Thank you very much from Germany.

@Lyrielonwind 9 күн бұрын

Narcissists makes you feel like you are the worst person in the whole planet and when you realize you are not the only one who has suffered their creepiness makes you understand that it's not your fault. They gaslight you to make you believe you deserved the abuse. You are not alone.

@richardgoreilly4706 Жыл бұрын

Thanks. Incredibly informative - will have to go back for a repeat.

@merrill5780 2 ай бұрын

Experiencing triggered for past three years plus and never knew (?) THANK YOU for the reference to this vid Darren.

@fpdhu Жыл бұрын

Start journaling each night: (1) What did I do today that WAS in alignment with my ideal self?; (2) What did I do today that WASN’T in alignment with my ideal self?; (3) Thankful for? To add to the four criteria Darren mentioned..

@bekind7288 Жыл бұрын

I really appreciate your videos and love the longer ones ❤ very helpful no matter what stage of healing I'm in. Thank you Darren!

@kaystephens2672 Жыл бұрын

It's so sick. To teach a child that irrational fear of public humiliation because of Their fear of a child embarrassing Them publicly. Children have to learn by making mistakes. I think you just explained social anxiety that so many people experience as adults because of the insane conditioning of a paranoid parent. I was put in ballet at 3 years old. No wonder I had stage fright. And maybe that's why so many people suffer from agoraphobia. To avoid those triggers of getting punished.. Sorry I couldn't be like Shirley Temple. .. How I wish I had known the problems She truly had. It all makes sense to me now. Your insight and words are truly a gift to people like me who want answers . I am so thankful that I found your channel. What Ive gleened from your studies is that You have to see the toxic root of a problem in order for it to stop growing and spreading to your children. The generation curse of insane logic.

@Susanshadows 9 ай бұрын

This makes so much sense, triggers…… this is exactly what I have been trying to explain. Saying something to me that they know will have the effect they are looking for to justify what will come next.

@michelleuk676 Жыл бұрын

Hi Darren, great content as always. Please don't do any social media courses! Love your natural, human connection😊. I've been working with my 'triggers' for a long time and through self help and therapy have learned to recognise them. Now when I sense a trigger, usually by how I'm feeling and then questioning the emotion, I stop, take a slow, deep breath, look around me and bring myself into the present. I have a mantra-'That was then, this is now, and I am safe'. It's taken time but I've definitely noticed the impact of my emotional response is less painful and I recover faster. Looking forward to your next forum on boundaries, I had to reinforce one with my narc parent recently and am awaiting the 'fall-out'😏. Thanks Darren ❤🖖

@jeffreyjackson5229 9 ай бұрын

"Some triggers are worth avoiding"- Absolutely.

@jaredmclaughlin7806 8 ай бұрын

Darren, you are amazing. Your videos are so helpful. I grow when I watch your videos. I learn something new. Or I learn something I already knew on a deeper level. Also, not many therapists can give specific examples. The narcissist might say this. Or they might say that. So often you are dead on. It is so hard to describe these things. To explain how the narcissists plays their games. Nobody tends to understand you. And the memory loss with trauma makes it worse. But hearing your descriptions, and especially your examples. I havent seen anyone do it better. Thank you, thank you, thank you. This video was awesome. Just like the rest of them. Thank you.

@flutterbyblue3639 Жыл бұрын

Absolutely brilliant! Watching this has strengthened something I've wondered for a while... which isn't so much about triggers for me but more about recognising patterns, and using that recognition to draw strength and learn

@llkellenba Жыл бұрын

Boy I’ve learned to keep my trap shut until I genuinely know and trust someone very well. Takes time to create history, see a pattern …

@andreweaton1958 Жыл бұрын

Laura K...Absolutely!!!

@winter-qd4yw Жыл бұрын

Great informative video with wonderful information, as always! Thank you!

@S.Thomps Жыл бұрын

Thank you for your wisdom! It helps bring me clarity and comfort 💞

@sandyveldhoen3307 Жыл бұрын

Thank you for this - so very helpful!

@jeffreyjackson5229 9 ай бұрын

I didn't put it off at work. I informed them of the boundary, expected them to accept it, and will definitely happen if they don't: management will get involved. On 9/22, as we were about leave for the weekend, I could tell that the individual want to make another passive aggressive remark (my research online revealed this is what it is, ultimately, because, I refuse to date them) and quickly remember the consequences if the statement was made. Life has taught me to establish boundaries and not compromise them.

@emmaprice766 2 ай бұрын

Went no contact for 6 months after 13 years. Done it so many times before. He kept going back to his ex. TRIANGULATION. He has been stalking me for over a week and I bumped into him, had a drink with him. Stupidly I ended up bringing him back. Now I can't get rid of him. Back to the hoovering stage.

@JacobT-1 Жыл бұрын

Thank you so much Darren. Listen to you while playing video games and this combo helps me a lot. Like, the videogame is a distraction and your voice and words are genuine help and affirmation. Thank you thank you.

@fairygurl9269 11 ай бұрын

Look Back to See What You Survived with Less Tools In the Past and Then Trust You to Keep You Safe Secure & Authentically Loved Going Forward With Better Resources Support & Tools as You would Protect Others You Truly Love too 💞 Thank You Sir 🤗

@nicolenickel5743 9 ай бұрын

When I left my ex, he told me he didn't want to live without me. He wanted to die. I told him he was controlling me, again. His reply "it's not controlling, I'm giving you the power. It's your choice"

@amber40494 10 ай бұрын

I didnt like my ex husband ogling and flirting with other women, so he did it as often as possible when we went out. He also would not have a conversation with me or share time at end of day. If he met me for lunch he would ignore me completely, like a pouty child. Then said oh im sorry and laughed. It was emotional abuse by neglect. I was totally conditioned to stay quiet and not let him know how hurt i was from growing up with a scary, narcissist fathet and cruel narc mother.

@skinscapetattoo 10 ай бұрын

I think you’re Super! Concise clear and calm.. enlightening, thanks

@alisamakedonskaya1794 Жыл бұрын

☀️🌸

@MCat-yv3hl Жыл бұрын

Tell a narcissist that you don’t like something and watch them do it ten times as much.

@justice8563 11 ай бұрын

My narcissist sister loves to torment me and causes me to trigger. I truly hate her and what she has done to my life.

@Bhappi137 Жыл бұрын

Weaponising someone’s weakness is a disgusting and despicable thing to do to anyone and it’s done by someone with no moral compass

@ultraviolet6989 Жыл бұрын

😂crazy that someone mentioned the Cranberries. My boyfriend (he wasn't a narcissist) was Irish and I got into the Cranberries because of him (1994). Almost 30years latter, something still happens when I listen to Ode to my Family.

@amber40494 10 ай бұрын

Thanks!

@DarrenFMagee 10 ай бұрын

Thank you so much for your kind support

@amber40494 10 ай бұрын

My ex also made fun of me for "seeing people the way i wanted to and not the way they really are". Probably referred to himself since i let him get away with alot.

@JulieBroadwaterRealEstate 8 ай бұрын

I'm recovering from a narcissistic relationship with my kids father. Could you please discuss what I could do as a parent to make my kids okay even though they can't escape him

@daisycharles440 Жыл бұрын

Thank you, I needed to hear this today 😊

@sxnd_in_thx_wxlf 6 ай бұрын

Did anyone get a tally count on the number of times he said "trigger"?

@fpdhu Жыл бұрын

There is soooo much crossover between NPD and PPD......so much

@aliceroberts1980 Жыл бұрын

My mother would get mad at me or jealous if I had a friend so I had none. My PTSD or CPTSD put people off I’m weird . I’m really weird. My narcissistic husband does the same thing I not aloud to have friends he’s not my friend. I get triggered by arguments, loud arguments I went to a play. My daughters was in a play about relationships and these people were arguing and I just couldn’t handle it. I had to get out of there.

@amber40494 10 ай бұрын

How to stop fawning when its so automatic?