Don’t let this get to you. The expectations and rules around sex are unrealistic in so many ways.

Grace works. Once been in a similar situation with my future wife. When to confession and prayed for Grace. I can say that the attraction hasn't waned but the control is stronger than ever.

Too much suspicion is bad too. I've learned to be more chaste than ever having to stay chaste living with and sleeping in the same bed with my fiance. We were homeless and he was attacked by a gang member. I hate to leave him alone at night. He's 67 and I'm 48. There are really situations that exist where dispensation is valid. Sure he or I could sleep on the couch but then our health is going to suffer. We just rent a 5th wheel trailer. It was our ticket out of homelessness. I'm also disabled with anxiety and health problems that get worse if I don't sleep well. We've literally been chaste for years this way. It's been a problem for joining the Church. He's already Catholic. I want to be and already practice Catholic prayers like the rosary. I want to join the Church and then we want to be married in the Church but I also have a previous civil marriage and divorce. It will be a miracle if I ever really get to receive communion even though I'm working so so hard on not sinning. I'm now so used to it that I don't even ever have a temptation at all. Much too complex to fix all these worldly issues. I think the Church should just baptize people into the Church and erase their past as non-Catholics are not even taught real Christian laws. 🤦 Our situation is extremely rare, but that's why God likes people of understanding not just strict Pharisees. We are supposed to think and reason like Jesus. Not to break rules but to not cause more harm by enforcing them.

@@leejennifercorlewayres9193 I really don't know the details of your situation. For example, for what reason did you and your first husband divorce? The Church has these rules for one reason to best Love God and do as follows from that. I do believe that if you bring your situation to your Preist in detail, he can offer you advice and possibly a solution to your problems.

We're so glad it blessed you! Please pray for us.

Everyone 😝

I tried too and in time realized the expectations here are so out of this world unrealistic that it makes me sick. We need to view sex in committed relationships as the goal.

@@timmyj2366 they're not unrealistic. You're waiting too long to get married. Why? Because you want to make sure the woman is "perfect."

@@dapper_slapper4093 Being overly picky and fear of commitment are surely issues too…as is unrealistic expectations around sex. Sexual purity does not = spiritual strength. As a matter of fact, sexual repression is a serious byproduct of unattainable rules around sexual expression.

@@dapper_slapper4093I think this is always their problem

I agree with the sentiment but you guys were honest with yourselves, can we stop it and pray to God whenever we are getting tempted or can we not? And i feel some people often overestimate the self control they carry it is mainly a case to case scenario.

Thank you for sharing your perspective. If you'd be open to a deeper explanation of the topic and the reasoning behind it, Christopher has a best selling book where he goes deep into these issues. You can find it here: shop.corproject.com/products/good-news-about-sex-and-marriage

If you worry about what people think ( base other peoples perceptions in your life ) , your in a lot of trouble! Me and the girlfriend at the time really enjoyed camping before we were married, we went on camping trips together over the weekends , and one time we hiked a trail for 2 weeks together. we were not going to miss out on life and things we enjoyed , because of "what someone might think". believe me you don't have to stay in a room overnight together to have sex with someone.

Sleeping in the Same bed with someone is a Sin?

@@tiarawilliams8861 yeah if theyre not married

@@thomasfaucette1660 I seen women bring Men into thier home to Sleep with them when her Children was n da House.

more like FUCKED up

simply read your bible.

Ditto , everything is geared towards the young, with Christopher West. If you have had a sexual past and are middle aged , the advice just doesn't well... translate. So many factors differ with the young, they have to deal with what seems on the face of it, similar challenges, but in reality are very different challenges.

Amen. add newness to Catholicism into the mix and that adds more complexity. It is far easier to be chaste when young and can marry quickly.

It's also hard when you're middle aged and haven't been married before. Parishes no longer do the social kinds of things where our ancestors could meet and date other single Catholics. I'm sure they struggled with chastity too, but at least they were struggling with another Catholic. When you complete your education and perhaps move to a new town and join a parish where you don't know anyone, what do you do? Clearly nobody knows the answer, because the marriage rate in our parishes is almost zero nowadays. West refuses to consider that basic point, but neither does anyone else.

@@larrymelman And considering probably 90% of Catholics have sex before marriage (and he's preaching to choir here), its kind of a moot point .