How to Get Guys to Stop Sending You D**k Pics - Josh Johnson

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How to Get Guys to Stop Sending You D**k Pics - Josh Johnson - Stand-Up Featuring

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Күн бұрын

Josh Johnson explains why zoo animals aren’t like wild animals and remembers when his phone was flooded with dick pics after someone accidentally gave out his number. (Contains strong language.)
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Пікірлер: 5 400

@ThatsABitPersonal 3 жыл бұрын

One time we were at the zoo and my dad sneezed so violently the lion got startled

@thagrandpubah 3 жыл бұрын

🤣

@jordanabasham 3 жыл бұрын

I had a friend go on a zip line at the zoo and she screamed so loud all the tigers that were sleeping were awake

@shoumikghosal 3 жыл бұрын

🤣🤣🤣

@horsenuggets1018 3 жыл бұрын

Well, it is a dad sneeze

@babowasalwayshere 3 жыл бұрын

In the lion's defense, dads do tend to have a kind of terrifying sounding sneeze for some reason. If I didn't know what was making that sound, I'd probably be startled as well lol

@catchthesedreams92 4 жыл бұрын

Zoo Lion: "HE'S FROM THE STREETS!!"

@notabot3013 4 жыл бұрын

CATCHTHESEDREAMS “he’s being dIfIcUlT”

@DillHurley7 4 жыл бұрын

I felt like the crowd laughed but didn't truly get that joke based on Josh reaction. Maybe just me

@Hokuto_Tongi 4 жыл бұрын

Your eyes say “meow”

@kimberlyolivier6505 4 жыл бұрын

🤣🤣🤣

@BTanny777 4 жыл бұрын

😂😂😂😂

@Caroline28483 2 жыл бұрын

"My phone would buzz and I would pray there weren't two penises in my pants" This crowd is giving him nothing, that's easily one of the funniest lines I've ever heard in stand-up comedy

@PotatoPatatoVonSpudsworth Жыл бұрын

Came here specifically for this comment.

@hotandstuff8277 Жыл бұрын

i figured it out like 2 seconds after 😭😂

@myheartwillstopinjoy8142 Жыл бұрын

@@hotandstuff8277 I don't get it what does it mean

@shizaanimations7634 Жыл бұрын

@@myheartwillstopinjoy8142 He keeps his phone in his pocket, he’s receiving a picture of a penis… Two penises in his pants.

@jardinise4292 Жыл бұрын

That’s what I’m fucking saying!!!🫠😭😭😭

@nind7171 4 жыл бұрын

The way he holds a mic is a show in itself, i don't know why it looks so magic.

@JohnDBlue 3 жыл бұрын

Some of the best comedians are those who hold their mic all fucked like. See Anthony Jeselnik

@judethaddeus9856 3 жыл бұрын

@Playlist merchant lmao

@hoost3056 2 жыл бұрын

This is how the old school mc's and game show announcers did it. 80's and back.

@thisiswhatilike54 2 жыл бұрын

Check Andrew Schulz. He holds it the same way

@davidaugustofc2574 Жыл бұрын

He looks like he sings and dances a lot of pop

@LipstickNTrees 4 жыл бұрын

“The meat didn’t come out of this one he’s being diffiiiiiicuullltt”! 😂😂

@tiffakang4525 4 жыл бұрын

I giggled my ass off

@niconline2834 4 жыл бұрын

Ok Liza a

@aerialwilliams9418 3 жыл бұрын

😂😂😂

@annnee6818 2 жыл бұрын

That was HILARIOUS

@TCt83067695 Жыл бұрын

1:14

@NotGahruvey 4 жыл бұрын

Man went from no hair to full on fro. Dude is hilarious

@RamblinGamblinStan 4 жыл бұрын

David Crook i thought it was a wig and at the end he would pull it off or something.

@joetellez208 4 жыл бұрын

Bruh fr i had to do a double take on if it was him or someone else lmao

@dark3rthanshadows 4 жыл бұрын

that's how he rocks, sometimes almost full bald, then full afro there's no middle ground to him

@warhammer1 4 жыл бұрын

@YoungMoe155 Gotta admit, not much sideburns game goin on.. makes it look like it might be a wig. lol Dude's starting to get buff too.

@petitio_principii 4 жыл бұрын

Great recovery from cancer.

@sarahhale-pearson533 5 ай бұрын

So damn talented. Most comedians have an aura of darkness around them. This guy’s just pure light.

@leaaugusta9924 2 ай бұрын

Yes! I see the same! 😊

@bonniesomedy1339 23 сағат бұрын

Thanks for articulating what I've been experiencing but couldn't put into words!

@kkbpeacd9991 4 жыл бұрын

i just ask them where's the rest of it... that usually kills their ego

@navi3430 3 жыл бұрын

😂😂😂

@thejanssen6030 3 жыл бұрын

Unlikely. If they're enough of an over confident asshole to send one in the first place, middle school comments won't change much.

@uniquelyunique1 3 жыл бұрын

LMAO!! Beautifully clever!! 😅🤣😂

@Corn0nTheCobb 3 жыл бұрын

@@thejanssen6030 middle school comment? 🤔 I am very confusion

@Cantetinza17 3 жыл бұрын

"Why would you send me a picture of your big toe"?

@jamiefinn4438 4 жыл бұрын

"nobody who's ever died at the zoo started a sentence with therefore" that's such a good line. And so easy to adapt to general use

@jamiefinn4438 4 жыл бұрын

@OGPIMPDADDY666 not as of yet..

@Diddlebop49 4 жыл бұрын

Jamie Finn My PaPa ClEtuS bAcKwoOd dIeD At ThE ZoE

@yakigesher-zion7289 4 жыл бұрын

Stevie Wonder and yet you misspelled therefore

@jamiefinn4438 4 жыл бұрын

@@yakigesher-zion7289 *and yet he. can't make grammatical mistakes when pointing out a typo... But thanks for letting me know.

@ef1876 2 жыл бұрын

“And so easy to adapt to general use” really makes me wonder what kinds of conversations you’re having in your day to day life

@TheBassicBassist 4 жыл бұрын

"No one who has died at the zoo has ever started a sentence with 'therefore'." What a great joke.

@maureenchikeka219 4 жыл бұрын

Flew right over their heads sadly, this set was brilliant!!!

@dinab4444 4 жыл бұрын

.....I honestly didn’t get it. Can someone explain it ^~^

@maureenchikeka219 4 жыл бұрын

@@dinab4444 Intellectuals begin sentences with words like "Therefore" and other not-so-regular words....he's insinuating we are not losing any smart person at the zoo cos you have to be pretty dumb to get killed by a domesticated, restrained animal.

@dinab4444 4 жыл бұрын

Alfie Maurice oh I got it 😂 Thanks

@TheAshpwns 4 жыл бұрын

@@dinab4444 Usually kids die at the zoo

@shoumakyo 3 жыл бұрын

I honestly really liked this set! His lines make people laugh naturally because the delivery is so casual; he talks like he didn't rehearse anything and the genuineness of him just shines through. It's like a surprise every time he drops a line, in the best way. He kept a smile on my face almost the entire video.

@_aiko020 4 жыл бұрын

"The urkle of lions."

@buttercup5625 4 жыл бұрын

"Better...worse?" "They're all bad" I FELT THAT

@buttercup5625 4 жыл бұрын

@@cyb3r.k4ndy i gotta go back soon and I'm just kinda like... "Please don't get angry at me they're both kinda bad" 🤣

@raanianna4455 4 жыл бұрын

I had that too. The optician was getting really frustrated with me, because he thought I am not telling the truth, but then he discovered that my eyes are just dry, and that's why there was no difference no matter what he tried on me... So i just got some eyegel and they were fine after that. The thing is it is normally an old person problem, so he hadn't even considered that could be the issue with me...

@wiggilytaco7570 3 жыл бұрын

@@raanianna4455 That's so careless. Before I got the giant goggles I was asked if my eyes felt ok. "No dryness or nothing?" He had me in and out like a fast food worker but he took care of me.

@G.of.J. 3 жыл бұрын

That’s why i might get lasik this year🥰😂

@nopep5606 3 жыл бұрын

mhm

@rae8961 4 жыл бұрын

"I don't love you" *walks away*

@madisonkarl7881 4 жыл бұрын

HAHAH my dad did that😌

@margaritam.9118 4 жыл бұрын

Madison Karl 😭😭😭

@Delimon007 4 жыл бұрын

@@madisonkarl7881 OOF

@TheOriginalLexa 3 жыл бұрын

I am watching this late while my husband is sleeping and when he said that I laughed hard and woke him up 🤣🤣🤣🤣

@asherfekadu799 3 жыл бұрын

@@TheOriginalLexa what tf are u doing this late lol

@TheYazmanian Жыл бұрын

"Bobby brings brisket to brunch" - Yo this dude is straight up poetic during a comedy set. The alliteration was completely unexpected! Loved it!

@bonniesomedy1339 23 сағат бұрын

Not only is Josh a great comedian on so many different levels, but his followers have great comments too. For us nerdy overeducated types, those little nuances are pure gold. It's like we've finally found our tribe! Thanks for articulating it.

@laetitiapohl138 4 жыл бұрын

I died at the "Stephanie" joke

@stephaniejefferson6566 3 жыл бұрын

I’d wake up in the morning, thank the Lord for a new day ... 😃

@chickenfoot2423 4 жыл бұрын

zoo lion in the grasslands: im in the ghetto *ratatataa*

@Zigzagzodak 4 жыл бұрын

😂

@tyshawngreen5759 4 жыл бұрын

😂😂😂

@juanpablooliva5382 4 жыл бұрын

You deserve more likes sir

@MariaPerez-mi7jl 4 жыл бұрын

Bruh.... Hahahah I'm wheezing ,😂😂👌🏽

@smilesfordays 4 жыл бұрын

This is the essence of the movie Madagascar.

@fustian_hippo 4 жыл бұрын

"I would pray that there weren't two penises in my pants" 😂😂😂😂😂😂 that line is so underrated.... it deserves more laughs

@TheBarry001 4 жыл бұрын

Chandler M. Bing right I had to literally think about it for a minute

@dgrdst5810 4 жыл бұрын

Yeh he paused for a second as well

@stanamilanovich3956 4 жыл бұрын

It's a beautiful moment.

@wanphodada7695 4 жыл бұрын

I didn't get it..

@dgrdst5810 4 жыл бұрын

@@wanphodada7695 if his phone buzzed someone sent him a dick pic. His phone is in his pants If someone sent a dick pick It would pop up as image notification. Basically meaning there is a penis on his phone So in total there are two penises in his pants aside from his peanut penis aswell

@msyana6418 3 жыл бұрын

I was depressed asf and Josh Johnson cheered me up. He's such a talented comic

@yaboikungpowfuckfinger7697 4 жыл бұрын

The whole hurricane segment I’m thinking of an inside joke between my friends ‘Tropical Storm Treyquan’

@MorenitaV305 2 жыл бұрын

Lol I was waiting for him to say Hurricane Tyrone or something like that😂

@coainc 4 жыл бұрын

the line ”sebastian sounds like the worst thing that he’ll do is roast u about the wallpaper” was so slept on

@tigerrooster.9349 4 жыл бұрын

nicola wilkman kzfaq.info/get/bejne/etp8hdan09uUiYk.html he stole the joke from robin williams

@SebastianQMrk 4 жыл бұрын

He better have some nice wallpaper

@isaiahbastille4967 4 жыл бұрын

My old manager was a flamboyant gay dude named Sabastian. Can confirm

@Gorrest 4 жыл бұрын

Did anybody else think of episode 1 of Black Butler?

@emmettdonkeydoodle6230 4 жыл бұрын

Tiger Rooster Watched the entire video, nothing about the two jokes were similar except the premise...

@awdawdawdwa 4 жыл бұрын

Dude he's changed so much like he has so much more emotion when he talks now its crazy

@juliangray7119 4 жыл бұрын

Who are you bro And more confidence

@clarenceclarence9529 4 жыл бұрын

I liked his dryer delivery a little more, but he still slays.

@EasyDuzzit 4 жыл бұрын

Probably doesnt wanna be compared to jerrod carmichael anymore

@nii_amart 4 жыл бұрын

Yeah....he used to be really chill on stage.

@rexflores8461 4 жыл бұрын

I think now he's more comfortable on stage

@yazwithluv 4 жыл бұрын

the people who disliked are afraid of reincarnating as a chicken and being personally fried by josh johnson himself

@pryncessyanni 2 жыл бұрын

Precisely!

@renaehorne3283 3 жыл бұрын

His last joke "you confederate bastard" I'M CRY LAUGHING FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE😂😂😂😂😂

@era9402 4 жыл бұрын

“Stephanie?”

@stefanikaci6915 3 жыл бұрын

yes?😂

@horsenuggets1018 3 жыл бұрын

“I used to be Stephen”

@anoriginalname.8234 3 жыл бұрын

@@horsenuggets1018 PLEASEEE IMAGINE-

@sweetpotato8384 3 жыл бұрын

A Stephanie somewhere felt nervous reading this🤣

@stephanieboekhoudt1786 3 жыл бұрын

@@sweetpotato8384 I got nervous😭

@GammerGurten 4 жыл бұрын

No one who has died at the zoo has ever started a sentence with , "therefore." I'm stealing that.

@Bloodfangmh 4 жыл бұрын

Same

@GammerGurten 4 жыл бұрын

Unbox and Destroy A person would use “therefore” when making an intellectual argument. A person who dies in a zoo is not intellectual and therefore would not use the word “therefore,” to start a sentence.

@juniper6069 4 жыл бұрын

Unbox and Destroy you have obviously never started a sentence with therefore lol

@sirVhailor 4 жыл бұрын

@@GammerGurten intellectual people would also not start a sentence with "therefore", because you don't start sentences with "therefore"

@lukelisiecki361 3 жыл бұрын

@@sirVhailor Yes you can. Therefore, you are wrong

@brownieluvsyall 3 жыл бұрын

Josh: I thought I could see the future. Then I realized I had common sense. *Saiki k: Wait-*

@djimaaoi3178 3 жыл бұрын

among us

@theradioactiveplayer3461 3 жыл бұрын

"Hurricane Lequisha" [Air raid sirens across the Deep South]

@SavageGreywolf 3 жыл бұрын

Hurricane Democratic Sheriff

@theradioactiveplayer3461 3 жыл бұрын

@@SavageGreywolf *_AW HOLEY GAWD_*

@thewayhobibrokeitdowninhan6083 3 жыл бұрын

@@theradioactiveplayer3461 LOL

@carrots7216 4 жыл бұрын

The more hair he grows, the more emotion he shows.

@kevinkassoka8628 4 жыл бұрын

He is a saiyen comedian

@anthonywhitaker37 4 жыл бұрын

@@kevinkassoka8628 saiyn**

@Bmoreflow 4 жыл бұрын

Cole Whitaker saiyan actually

@Bmoreflow 4 жыл бұрын

Cole Whitaker idk how u incorrectly correct someone 😂

@anthonywhitaker37 4 жыл бұрын

@@Bmoreflow I utilize autism mostly

@watchingandlurking 4 жыл бұрын

Josh look like he's stuck in a limbo between looking like a suburban mom and an 80s band

@justsomeguy1014 4 жыл бұрын

lil nugs same

@beepbeepcasucha 4 жыл бұрын

What you're looking for is '70s rollerblading championship'

@watchingandlurking 4 жыл бұрын

@@beepbeepcasucha the only valid response

@blackdiamonds6356 4 жыл бұрын

Is he gay?

@BranZHamZ 4 жыл бұрын

Undercover Mother

@lilymoore9901 3 жыл бұрын

his delivery, his tone, the timing.....it’s so good

@Ron-Ayres Ай бұрын

He has such an easy style and a velvety mellow tone to his voice - new fan from Across The Pond, here!

@MomCatMeows 3 жыл бұрын

This kid is going places. His delivery is so unique.

@padawanguy360 4 жыл бұрын

nobody: josh johnson: *p e n i s e s e s*

@zer0arts34 4 жыл бұрын

Your pfp says it all

@erikamarie1303 4 жыл бұрын

Also funny

@kamilahfw8391 4 жыл бұрын

Penii

@mr.muffindan.m3367 4 жыл бұрын

i wouldn't complain about it xD

@anthonylewis8935 4 жыл бұрын

I read this as soon as he said it😂

@maxinev4877 4 жыл бұрын

Josh Johnson is truly the master of timing. His jokes a delivered seemingly so effortless, but the effect is so deliberate.

@mattasticmattattack8546 4 жыл бұрын

he's A master

@treemugger3590 4 жыл бұрын

He reminds me of John Mulaney in some ways

@alvinduran6549 4 жыл бұрын

This is awful. This is like the Friends of stand up

@michaelfonseca4369 4 жыл бұрын

@MonomanTV He's very good, though. He'll get better. He reminds me of a straight version of Jaboukie Young-White.

@Waterflow07 4 жыл бұрын

Him and Michael Che in that Netflix special

@imhonestlyjusthereforloki.6196 3 жыл бұрын

the day I hear hurricane Jeff Bazos, forget the state, I'm leaving the country.

@christan279 4 жыл бұрын

"two feet where my eyes are" .... Toph? is that you?

@navi3430 3 жыл бұрын

😂😂😂

@lawrencechege430 3 жыл бұрын

Home

@ahmedabdu8948 4 жыл бұрын

I take my eye off this dude for 1 second and he got a full ass Afro

@googleedood9721 4 жыл бұрын

Bruz, next time you blink, Josh will be doing a 1 hour special on Netflix with a FULL beard 🤣

@theotherriley3033 4 жыл бұрын

They grow too fuccing fast

@elonnamcpeters674 4 жыл бұрын

RIGHT!?! Next he will have dreads.

@KamalasNotLikeUs 4 жыл бұрын

Afro chia

@slipperyhippo7539 4 жыл бұрын

Yoooooooo

@phoebetaber8280 4 жыл бұрын

He's actually onto something with the hurricane names. There was a study about how hurricanes with female names are more dangerous because people don't take them as seriously. It's called "Female Hurricanes are deadlier than male hurricanes" if you want to look it up.

@JackboMack 4 жыл бұрын

Phoebe Taber the just alternate male and female names from A-Z throughout every hurricane season.

@sarasthoughts 4 жыл бұрын

@@maxotto9877 oh my god hahhah

@makenzie9023 4 жыл бұрын

at that point it’s natural selection lol

@randallflagg6862 4 жыл бұрын

if they had male names, they'd be himmicanes

@theeternalflame4563 4 жыл бұрын

@@randallflagg6862 I'm disappointed but still nose laughed

@chrisvasconi4630 3 жыл бұрын

Why does this man NOT have a Netflix special? Theirs so many less funny comics or even well known comics w/ disappointing specials, JOSH JOHNSON DESERVES THAT NETFLIX MONEY!

@bonniesomedy1339 23 сағат бұрын

I'd be scared it might change him! He finally got a spot on The Daily Show as a "street correspondent", and it didn't work well for him, because the whole script was not really his - you could tell. I wonder if he would be comfortable doing a really long show.

@Dichtsau 3 жыл бұрын

okay, HE CAUGHT ME when he said "he's from the striits!" x'D idk how he's goin on, but so far (51s) i think he's gonna be comedy-DIAMOND xD

@josephicha9150 4 жыл бұрын

you receive a picture of a wang, send a picture of a wang back *IsSa BoOmeWaNg*

@Charlezard. 3 жыл бұрын

Wang in, wang out.

@cloutelfin8323 3 жыл бұрын

Ok best comment

@aTomallic 3 жыл бұрын

You have no right to make me genuinely laugh for 5 seconds

@boblackross3571 3 жыл бұрын

Google how to delete someone else's youtube comment?

@RabblesTheBinx 3 жыл бұрын

You had 666 likes. Now you have 667. Now people will stop refusing to like your comment because of the number. You're welcome.

@user-fq1ig3uy3q 4 жыл бұрын

"Stephanie?!?" 😂

@shinylilfish 4 жыл бұрын

"it's Kathy"

@YourArmsGone 4 жыл бұрын

"It's Stefon now."

@peshgirl 4 жыл бұрын

Yeah?

@user-fq1ig3uy3q 4 жыл бұрын

@@peshgirl lol

@JAHDCypha 4 жыл бұрын

@@peshgirl lmaooo in done im out this comment section u killin me😂😂😂

@em.n.emily7 3 жыл бұрын

I saw one of his comedy show from 3 years ago, and he’s improved so much in his timing, expressions, and volume when needed. 😂😊

@stephaniejefferson6566 3 жыл бұрын

“Do you wanna TRY one more time?” 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

@josephchen920 4 жыл бұрын

He for sure deserves way more hype than this crowd is giving him

@beanslol1725 3 жыл бұрын

@@anjanamenon8821 we cant even see the crowd lmao. Just a bad crowd in general i guess.

@monaalvarez 3 жыл бұрын

@@anjanamenon8821 3:48

@tenshhi 3 жыл бұрын

@@monaalvarez 5:05

@hayatzor6249 3 жыл бұрын

You don't have to scream when you enjoy...

@davidtogi5878 3 жыл бұрын

Naah most of his stand ups are like this. Its just his style. He prob not the type to make you lol ed so hard. He just chuckles you. And its fine, this kind of light joke are fun too.

@mrscoffeebeanqueen 4 жыл бұрын

This crowd doesn't deserve him. I'm wiping tears from my eyes and they're throwing out pity chuckles.

@MsJamusic 4 жыл бұрын

mrscoffeebeanqueen They we’re probably nervous. He hit too close to home...

@fe5018 4 жыл бұрын

They don't sound like pity chuckles

@joooooolea 4 жыл бұрын

MsJamusic bruh fr tho

@Jesse__H 4 жыл бұрын

small venue

@gayvagina7353 4 жыл бұрын

4:05

@TheMovieSequelDude49 4 жыл бұрын

This guy looks like "The Jacksons"-era Michael Jackson.

@tenscutenose9521 3 жыл бұрын

“the thing from the justin timberlake album” crying

@nathanielthomas9178 4 жыл бұрын

This guys always gets bad crowds. I’m over here rolling

@jordanmortensen 4 жыл бұрын

Nathaniel Thomas right

@DeiHarper9361 4 жыл бұрын

Obviously they've never started a sentence "therefore"

@carlosmarte3154 4 жыл бұрын

Nathaniel Thomas Deadpan comedy isn’t really “laugh out loud” funny to a lot of people. Same with thoughtful comedy like Carlin. You enjoy it, but it doesn’t have you reeling.

@EC___ 4 жыл бұрын

the quality of the mic is too good for its own good, you can’t even hear the comedian’s breath, no noise, nothing... Only clean voice. Believe it or not, this takes away the feeling of stand up a little bit.

@chowmane9584 4 жыл бұрын

I like how people say "He aLwAyS gEtS bAd CrOwDs" never stoping to think maybe people just don't find him funny

@EmraGreen 4 жыл бұрын

Why can't he have a Netflix special? He's got a lot great material

@hjhy573 4 жыл бұрын

Nope

@Wxhiid 4 жыл бұрын

Nah

@TheNightwalker247 4 жыл бұрын

I would definitely watch if he gets one that dude has some hilarious stories. One of my favs is his catfishing the kkk

@elijahwhitfield428 4 жыл бұрын

Because hes not politically based

@darlene971 4 жыл бұрын

He just needs to transition better

@As8bakwTheSage 4 жыл бұрын

honestly I really enjoy this guy so much - he's such a delight

@knightmarecityk 3 жыл бұрын

I've opted to send them back a picture of a naked mole rat with the caption, "Aw! I've got one too!" So I'm a little diabolical, sue me😉

@nobodysbaby5048 3 жыл бұрын

What about the beach covered in sea snails?

@FWDSUXARSE 3 жыл бұрын

Not gonna lie that's hilarious 😂

@nobodysbaby5048 3 жыл бұрын

@@FWDSUXARSE Muffled Laughter.

@mommamia9948 4 жыл бұрын

“It could graduate to a category mixed grand babies” 😂😂😂 this killed me

@butterflyqueen9260 4 жыл бұрын

🤣🤣🤣

@vercas.1664 4 жыл бұрын

Yess 😂😂😂

@erloser6942 4 жыл бұрын

Zoo lions don’t roar they say “Rawr XD”

@morganmiller5413 4 жыл бұрын

And their names are Alex, and they dance

@lql1094 3 жыл бұрын

They're controlled by a chip placed in their brains. When the keepers want them to sound off (because it's not a natural roar as Josh said) they press the remote and the poor lions mechanically sound off. Thinking about it, they might not even be real animals but something like animatronics like at Chuck E. Cheeses -- just made to look close to the real thing.🤔🤔🤔🤔 The government is terrible. 🤔🤔🤔🤔

@mondaysinsanity8193 3 жыл бұрын

@@lql1094 or...or...the lions are sad

@drn1069 3 жыл бұрын

@@lql1094 what

@broabi7690 3 жыл бұрын

@@lql1094 that would be great bur you are talking about a country that rather let his people die than giving more money for theire medecine. Do you know how mutch a siborg mechatronik lion would cost ? Its waaay easy to cidnap one and puting him in a zoo

@ayvoreewho 3 жыл бұрын

his mannerisms and the way he talks during these acts reminds me of Donald Glover's stand up work

@tuddthetotodile5448 3 жыл бұрын

I’ve never been to legoland. I just wanted you to think I was cool. Do you always indulge Abed in these little misadventures? Take that back. Our adventures are very manly.

@captainwaa7274 3 жыл бұрын

As a JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure fan, I am contractually obligated to point out that he is a JoJo

@How2Disappear195 3 жыл бұрын

JOJO in New York

@joey1975ish 4 жыл бұрын

My gosh, he’s the cutest! So funny and he just has a joyful look about him.

@RowdyBoy82 3 жыл бұрын

I think he's super handsome too!

@willapotter5455 3 жыл бұрын

Oh yes, agreed :)

@roselynnpark9586 3 жыл бұрын

he got some beautiful hands

@judethaddeus9856 3 жыл бұрын

What’s a « joyful look »?

@joey1975ish 3 жыл бұрын

@@judethaddeus9856 a look of joy. Just a happy, content look about him.

@isabellazelaya7028 4 жыл бұрын

His number neighbor did him dirty

@SilverIrisWhisper 4 жыл бұрын

Not gonna lie I give out my fake number so often I accidentally give it out by mistake and when I correct myself (I only change the last digit) the look I get from people...

@madeleineprice3556 4 жыл бұрын

Sarah Terry people who give out fake numbers are little bitches, only an insecure girl would feel put on the spot rejected some stranger guy, I’d straight up say no I’m not giving you my phone number. Sad.

@ahhh4117 4 жыл бұрын

Madeleine Price sometimes the guy feels threatening, and I use my phone number for a lot of different financial programs and I would really rather no one commit identity fraud

@peiyamada1653 4 жыл бұрын

Hi number neighbor from reddit

@jazblanding3098 4 жыл бұрын

Madeleine Price how does tht make them insecure? y’all just be saying anything on the internet

@IvanGarcia-xy7bf 3 жыл бұрын

I had a girl say to me once she just sends em one from some other guy back and that stops em lol

@Barbarossa-heir 2 жыл бұрын

As I browsed many of Johnson 's lines in stand ups, I may say that he is doing an insightful sarcasm..he is clearly politically aware beneath the superficiality of some jokes . he does point to smart issues with gentle brushes of laughter.

@Honeysweetzinc 4 жыл бұрын

He isn't lying send them a picture of one bigger than his. Works like charm.

@sapphirejones7302 4 жыл бұрын

🤣🤣🤣

@jaybee5832 4 жыл бұрын

Exactly!

@aaidenbatts2844 4 жыл бұрын

Doesn’t work when ur gay

@jaybee5832 4 жыл бұрын

Send back pic of a big A$$ pair of scissors,. 😂🤣😉

@JuicyMcnamus 4 жыл бұрын

That doesn't work.. i'll just say bigger isnt always better and send a pic of the balls

@nappagamingg 4 жыл бұрын

Everyone talking about how he has a fro now, no-one noticing that hes getting swole too

@kaavyab1009 4 жыл бұрын

I like to imagine him still doing curls like "AUGH!"

@Myunsolicitedthoughts 4 жыл бұрын

Yea he look like he been hitting them weights

@Ophidimancer 4 жыл бұрын

My gay ass noticed.

@doubledewdagod 4 жыл бұрын

His chest

@chanteldor9545 4 жыл бұрын

Thanks cuz my eyes went straight to them pecs😂

@nisshea354 3 жыл бұрын

clicked this on accident. best accident I’ve made today.

@saoirsevicteoiria2759 3 жыл бұрын

Love how he starts with the zoo and ends where he does. Brilliant.

@callmer0naef330 4 жыл бұрын

"it's why I don't care. I don't care when people die at the zoo." Lmaoooo

@Zigzagzodak 4 жыл бұрын

I wanted more zoo jokes

@lanceslinks5624 4 жыл бұрын

did you call yourself Feanor?

@OnyxChinchilla 4 жыл бұрын

"Hurricane gun control" now that will REALLY scare the Texans!

@scp--297 4 жыл бұрын

Yeah, it would!

@acrusader9773 4 жыл бұрын

*heavy country breathing*

@OnyxChinchilla 3 жыл бұрын

You can hear the slight Texan panic.....

@OnyxChinchilla 3 жыл бұрын

Guys you were supposed to keep the likes at 69 what the hell....

@haydenmize3149 3 жыл бұрын

I'm Texan and I gotta say, yeah it would scare the Texans

@maryrosekent8223 Жыл бұрын

I’ve been watching this young man since he was first starting out and I’m so happy to see him doing well it makes me proud, even though he has no idea I even exist. I knew from the very first time that he’s special in a truly wonderful way.

@CinematicTactics 3 жыл бұрын

05:42 Josh: it's hurricane season again Crowd: LMAOOOOO LOL HAHAHAHAHAHAH Josh: It happens every year, people refuse to evacuate and they die for no reason Crowd: Oops

@SirCaco 4 жыл бұрын

When it comes to the plural form, I myself am partial to "penii".

@Ardorstorm 4 жыл бұрын

Sir Caco penii gang

@kimf.5409 4 жыл бұрын

LOL

@Sicaughtik 4 жыл бұрын

How often in life are you not just talking about dicks.. but multiple dicks.. that you needed to invent a term to describe them all?

@nevaladder 4 жыл бұрын

@@Sicaughtik It comes up in conversation more than you think. 😂

@guentermcbuenter2651 4 жыл бұрын

pen15z

@jonathanelliott7645 4 жыл бұрын

He looks more like the microphone than the microphone

@victoriavintage9568 4 жыл бұрын

Whaat🤣🤣🤣?

@polardirt4835 4 жыл бұрын

@limashopping7346 4 жыл бұрын

🤣🤣🤣

@drdoof2940 4 жыл бұрын

I'm the 69th like

@jobeydley973 4 жыл бұрын

Underrated

@jannellej7917 3 жыл бұрын

He's wearing a teacher sweater.

@kimberlyking9523 3 жыл бұрын

More like Mr. Rogers loan it to him.

@kittyonmydesk5532 8 ай бұрын

Poverty-stricken is a good name for a tropical storm.

@gissellept 4 жыл бұрын

"I DONT LOVE YOU and walked away" lol my socially awkward ass related to that joke a little too much.

@mjuarbes 4 жыл бұрын

He looks like morty from a universe where he's black.

@LeratoM98 4 жыл бұрын

I wish I could describe how much that made me laugh, that's dead-on😭😂😂😂.

@indicakid4866 4 жыл бұрын

No he doesnt him and morty just have tiny fros

@RoGuExPaNcAkE 4 жыл бұрын

💀🤣💀🤣💀🤣💀

@bellalenee263 4 жыл бұрын

😂😂😂😂 he does

@Quantum_GirlE 4 жыл бұрын

@@indicakid4866 Its not always just looks bro. lol

@SeanLumly Жыл бұрын

Wow. This is a comic to watch. Great non-cliche material, outstanding timing, unique presence, and a genuinely FUN performance!

@frothyfriz9722 4 жыл бұрын

6:25 I can’t be the only one that thinks he sounds like Donald glover here

@rookdaft7801 3 жыл бұрын

He sounds like him throughout !! Glad someone else noticed

@quegoinin11 4 жыл бұрын

if he sends one and you say “awww cute” he will never send another one again

@Xiras709 4 жыл бұрын

🤣🤣🤣

@mylissapooh 4 жыл бұрын

False. I've tried this and he sent more to try to prove me wrong.

@chloeviolets6865 4 жыл бұрын

I personally use the microscope emoji as a response but I'll try this next time to mix it up a bit :)

@sinbad188 4 жыл бұрын

Mel u prettiful

@heydumbass758 4 жыл бұрын

Jesus Christ you don’t have to do the homies like that

@electricdragonsauce 4 жыл бұрын

A racist rooster would be a Confeatherate.

@wandanemer2630 4 жыл бұрын

Thank you.

@antionettejackson8355 4 жыл бұрын

🤣🤣🤣🤣

@serfansalot5646 4 жыл бұрын

_Ba Dum Tss_

@ronalddebbarma6882 4 жыл бұрын

Nice one

@izukumidoriya641 4 жыл бұрын

Underappreciated lmaooo

@yvettea7253 11 ай бұрын

Actually I've seen and heard a zoo lion roar. It's incredible.

@melaniegonzalez8316 Жыл бұрын

this crowd is not giving him enough laughs he’s so funny

@miickey519 4 жыл бұрын

This can be bad advise, my friend got sent a pic, she sent one back at him and it turned out... he was bi... 🤦🏽‍♀️😂

@wandanemer2630 4 жыл бұрын

No one ever sees Us coming! 💙💜❤

@nam6128 4 жыл бұрын

We're sneaky freakies

@norainnoflowers1551 4 жыл бұрын

Miickey LMFAO plot twist XD

@oshawott946 4 жыл бұрын

What do you do then 🥺

@miickey519 4 жыл бұрын

EvanYes. No idea 😂

@airline_peanuts 4 жыл бұрын

This guy is unique, smart, cutting and funny while still somehow being really nice and genuine.

@FriedEggSarnie 3 жыл бұрын

Confederate rooster killed me 😂

@chromicapop4595 Жыл бұрын

"the urkel of Lions" This such a fat mood Josh keep it up ya'll

@zhaniea1583 4 жыл бұрын

This guy ages like he forgot time exist

@sarasaunders16 4 жыл бұрын

How old is he???

@billymunford8734 4 жыл бұрын

Another mila kunis

@HoboJoe556 4 жыл бұрын

@@sarasaunders16 He is 33

@kaylavernet373 4 жыл бұрын

Joe Rosenberg WTF I thought he was like 20 !!!

@schnibbleschnubble3819 4 жыл бұрын

@@HoboJoe556 BRUH

@zachmorgan486 4 жыл бұрын

Been watching this guy for a few years now. He's always been funny but you can really see his improvement in delivery and confidence on stage from when he first started. Definitely one of my favorite young comedians.

@barbecuedsimsbaby 3 жыл бұрын

Zoo lion: *_rawr XD_*

@user-hi5ut5co4r 3 жыл бұрын

KDNDIDNDIDNDOFJ

@anushwah 3 жыл бұрын

Take a shot every time he says "yknowhameen?" 😌

@margarethkatsuno9908 4 жыл бұрын

“We misuse the word karma.” Smartest thing I’ve heard a man say

@shotglassanhero 3 жыл бұрын

Look up Alan Watts perspective on how westerners view karma. Y’all can get deeper.

@shotglassanhero 3 жыл бұрын

@Jolyne Cujoh No, that is exactly the misunderstanding of karma. Short Version: kzfaq.info/get/bejne/l6mXfLWXm8zGl6s.html Long Version: kzfaq.info/get/bejne/qLiCd8x7lajZdYE.html

@miltonjames4429 3 жыл бұрын

Thank u

@petermkn2816 3 жыл бұрын

Karma=Action

@lauranovak8407 3 жыл бұрын

@@petermkn2816 karma: the universal law of causality (cause and effect) = thought, word and deed (action)

@KC16A6 4 жыл бұрын

I burst out laughing really loudly at "... to see who's thinking about me" hahahahahaha

@JV-ut4fi 3 жыл бұрын

@5:07, the guys who don't laugh are probably the guilty ones.

@kittyonmydesk5532 7 ай бұрын

How many were there in that crowd?

@shamimkagere Жыл бұрын

The lions don't roar , "raarrr i guess" 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣

@lizsmith1018 4 жыл бұрын

“I dOn’T lOvE yOu” *walks away*

@akawale9017 4 жыл бұрын

Gotta try that one

@mariorioriot 4 жыл бұрын

dude's got a very positive vibe about him

@bossyboots5000 Жыл бұрын

Josh is so funny and clever with a unique take on things. Every line is hysterical.😂

@alisa_and_pup 3 жыл бұрын

No one who ever died at the zoo started a sentence with "Therefore-" 🤣😝🤣🤣😂😂🤣😝

@BeGlamourlicious 4 жыл бұрын

This kid is soooo good, I bet the KKK is still sad that he didn’t join.

@andilemkhuma9286 4 жыл бұрын

Kid? He's 33

@chocolatesugar-lovage9678 4 жыл бұрын

@Ferb Fletcher Agreed! 😮👏👏👏💘

@itiswhatitis3339 4 жыл бұрын

We are😟

@lunaticgaming7967 4 жыл бұрын

@@itiswhatitis3339 LMFAO

@viceroybear6298 4 жыл бұрын

Out of the top 100 things that black people should be afraid of the KKK isn't even on the list, that's why these low-hanging fruit KKK jokes are so lame