"The attack option is greyed out in society"

>Walk into work 30 mins late >Nobody saw you so big exhale >Walk into sign in room with intention to write that you were on time. >Boss is in sign in room >Collective Consciousness begins to play

>Woolie starts talking about black stereotypes when it comes to tipping >Pat remembers a real life example >Realizes at the same time that his choice of words is VERY IMPORTANT >FFXI's Depths of the Soul begins playing

So, basically once the old person pulls their change purse out it should blast One Winged Angel.

>Needing to use the bathroom in heavy traffic >Secret of Mana boss theme [danger!] plays

Everytime I cough too many times. The battle music plays as I fight within myself

someone needs to animate pat's tale with woolie singing the battle music.

>Get to class with five minutes to spare >Sit at desk, surf phone for memes >Classmate leans over >”Hey, do you have today’s homework written down?” >Ace Attorney’s Cornered! starts pumping

Every time your doorbell rings is a random encounter. It could be your friend who was coming over to hangout, or that one annoying salesman who comes by every now and then.

Woolie uses RACE CARD Matt uses hide Pat has Fear Debuff

>At checkin counter > Family comes in line with 7 bags all larger than each member >Cuts in front of priority > No one has passport ready >Each bag is over weight >Only one family member "the eldest child" speaks english > Informs head parent of fee price >Arguing ensues among the family > Trys to barter with a wad of old american dollars Armored core 4 Answerer Spirit of Motherwill starts playing hardmode >no one has ETAs > Flight closes in closes in 5 minutes > We only have one flight a day This is my life...

Old people arguing over coupons is the final boss of waiting in line at the grocery store. Which then proceeds into its final form once they start trying to pay with a check.

>Doing Shopping >Asian lady and her kids in front of me >Lady has incorrect amount of money and apparently doesn't speak a word of english >Cashier attempt to explain this >Lady unable to understand because no english >Kids immediately start crying and screaming, making a huge racket >Lady attempts to leave with shopping to get her kids out of there which obviously attracts security >Security Guard comes over and attempts to explain once again >Lady does not understand and keeps trying to leave >Security says "Look you can either leave everything here and get out or pay the correct amount >Lady undergoes miracle and now understands english "FUCK YOU ASSHOLE!" pays correct amount, kids immediately stop crying and she leaves with her shopping. This all took approximately 10-15 minutes.

Sonic drowning theme when I'm out in public and have to use the restroom. I have IBSD so I end up hearing it in my head a lot.

The best thing that plays in my head is when me and my friend get into an anime and talk about it then eventually argue about it nothing beats the black and white gym leader battle music.

Walking in a mall just trying to get from point A to point B and the free sample/"would you like to try?" person attempts to communicate with you and the Pokemon Spotted! theme plays.

> Walking down the street after running an errand. > Person with a slight stagger at corner / walking towards me. > Accidentally make eye contact because there's no way I'm gonna take my eyes off them but they're also in my field of view. > Literally any song with vocals from Madworld or Anarchy Reigns kicks in. BONUS: If any of the above happens and / or I notice I'm being followed then Darkeater Midir's theme starts drowning out everything else. I've literally lost more money to random "homeless" people than to actual muggers and thieves.

>Wake up >look at clock 7:45 > *Blink* >9:40 >Class starts in 20 minutes, at least a 20-30 minute drive on average. (drums in the distance) >Group presentation today (drums suddenly much louder and closer) >"Won't Stop, Just Go!" (Green Forest) from SA2.

>Study the review packet for the Final Exam >Day of the Exam, Teacher uses new format with radical different material. >>”Burn my Dread” -final battle intensified

Working retail >coworker is late > 4 people in line > Persons buying smokes at 9ish dollars > All Change > Hasn't counted it out >Cue menacing pre boss music >Then buys stuff with food stamps >CUE CHRONO TRIGGER BATTLE MUSIC

The DMC1 psycho siren plays when you leave your door open and realize your dog is missing

> Strollin thru the mall > walks a few feet too close to one of the mall kiosks > looks at the kiosk products for one nanosecond > kiosk salesman teleports in front of me to talk about the product for 20 min > fight or flight response kicks in > Pokémon battle music starts playing

When you’re arguing with your sibling, Two Dragons starts its build up until you eventually charge at each other.

>navigating through a crowded area while running late for something >Clash on the Big Bridge starts playing

And thanks God for the Pat's grocery stories. Always love 'em.

Hey to anybody reading this. I wish you all the best and if things aren't going good for you i hope everything gets better real soon

I love these chronicles of Montreal

man that bit right at the beginning "you see your roommate's out of hand pile of dirty dishes, and the fucking P3 battle theme starts" That's a real thing guys I've felt it in my SOUL

Pat frequently convinces me that we are nearly the same person aside from physical attributes, and when he talks retail it becomes magnified.

>Working retail >Doing job >Customer looking around >Makes eye contact >Walks towards me >FFXII Battle music starts playing

Waffle House is the designated PVP zone for the southern US.

10:48 Pats Spider Sense goes off! Cue the battle MUSIC! Da da da🎶

Can't say what the actual event would be but my "danger incoming/spidey sense" music would be Bazelgeuse's theme from MH:W

Pledge of Demon should play when you get into a fight with your grandparents.

And the lesson of this story is that there are rarely winners when stereotypes are validated.

I thought that Pokemon GO would be "real life random battles." Main reason I never even downloaded it was because I found out you couldn't just stand on the street corner, staring forward, and challenge random kids walking by to battles.

That moment where you run into someone and you're both trying to get out of each other's way, but you keep sidestepping to the same side should trigger "You Will Know Our Names"

>Walk Home same road everyday >cross dressing man standing in the streetlight about to ask for a drink >can’t cross road >Independence for Violence starts

> standing in line to order food > constantly going over what I want to order > get to front of the line where the server is waiting for my order > the whole time pledge of the demon is playing

>Person mistakes me for being a minor while I'm in my 20s >Person tries treating me badly >Person is shocked at my rejection of their treatment >"Rivers in the Desert" starts playing

My battle music would be Ganondorf’s Wind Waker Final Boss Theme.

>Meeting girlfriend's father for the first time alone >DMC3 Cerberus theme slowly begins

Don’t know about the trigger, but I want my theme to be BATTLE from One Punch Man.

Anytime I try to talk to someone I dont know much about, Earthbound's Otherwordly foe plays

Is it just me or are parts of this PRIME "Best Friends Animated" material?!

Man Woolie mentioning Golden Sun really takes me back

Patt, man you are past the danger zone mang, lose some of that lubber...

Sit in class minding own business "Okay class, now we're going to work in groups for the next part." *Kingdom Hearts Night of Fate starts playing*

The boss music from Blue Dragon seems to activate when I have to awkwardly overtake someone walking slowly in front of me

As a retired Toys R Us cashier of 5 years straight, a veteran of 4 Christmases, 2 of which I was in a supervisory position, I agree with Pat. Age is always your first hold up. But in both ways, look at the age of the cashier and their build. Now, groceries are one thing but bags of toys, or worse, the big box items, like a fucking toy kitchen. That is not the line you want to be in since it would require another person to help take that out. I can easily say that my "random battles" were the transactions when someone wanted a fucking big ticket item, my boss fights are when someone wants a swing set ordered and delivered, and my final boss, Christmas Eve lmao.

Outlaw's Lullaby from Yakuza 2 is just prefect for this

There are the weird awkward politeness ones too. Boxed in on the pavement (sorry, I'm English) and someone else is coming the other way. You step aside and gesture for them to move through. But they do the same. So you go to move through but then so do they. _"Unnecessary Tension" from Undertale plays._

The battle theme that plays in my head is Kiryu's street battle theme from Yakuza 5

couldn't help but lol watching Matt slowly being defeated by sleepiness

Been working Retail and I feel this talk...

> Standing at street corner waiting for signal to change > Look down the road > See your bus two blocks away > Stare at the crosswalk signal as "Miracle Matter" starts playing

>Goes in for a job interview >Fills out the forms and such for the interview to begin >Interviewer finally calls me in or arrives and begins asking questions >Suddenly End of Raging Waves starts playing

My battle music would start when the phone rings at work

>Working register at dollar store, making conversation with customers >Topic comes up regarding potential flu outbreak in neighborhood >Mention on planning to get flu shot to avoid getting sick and missing work >Female customer questions "if I really believe that crap" >Respond that I do, then ask customer how many kids they have >They have three, none are vaccinated because she doesn't want to risk "the autism" >Tekken 4 Parking Lot theme plays

>spider in my bathtub >skyrim theatrical music kicks in

>walking down a narrow footpath >people ahead are blocking the entire lane and walking just a little bit slower than I am >I’m gaining on them fast and I don’t want to look like a creeper or purse-snatcher >”Gravity” from the Lucky Star OST kicks in

Pat flinched!

WOW I got the french frase. My French classes are working :D

-Get on train -Try to find seat, but all are taken -Has to stand the entire ride -Shit ton of people come onboard, standing very close to yo -All of them vary heavily in odor -Bass boosted Uncontrollable plays

It's gotta be the Encounter theme from MGS 2's Tanker chapter.

Return to Ashes starts playing when cops catch you jaywalking

11:10 pats fuck face had me roflmaoing

Battle with Geetz from Megaman Legends 2 is my battle theme.

It's 9:02, We close at 9. Customer comes in and orders, manager says we cant say no. Rivers in the desert starts playing

In my town there are three things to look out for they are old, disheveled, and/or do they know the cashier if one of these are true then you know it's going to take forever.

"Hunting ~Surprise Raid~" begins playing when things start getting tense.

> some guy cuts you off on the road > you get mad and flip him off > he stops his car and gets out > Final Fantasy 9 battle theme plays

The grocery store I go to has a lottery ticket machine, its like a big bright pepsi machine but for gambling

>Going into son's room to tiddy it up, notices something underneath his bed. >Son comes home just in time to notice me about to discover a pack of condums. >chases him through house with a wooden spoon. >Ninja Gaiden 3: Razor's Edge Eacape plays.

I see my brother fuckin with my food, Matt Helms’ theme form No More Heroes starts playin.

This is tuna with bacon! This is tuna with bacon!

Summoned Beast Battle from FFX would probably go well with life's "oh fuck" moments

I think mine would be the golden sun theme

Pat looks like one of those beanbag chairs

Lady Maria's theme from bloodbourne is mine

Metro has been great with groc delivery. You can allow or disallow substitutes for each item and if you don't like the sub, you just tell the delivery person and get reimb. Delivery (at least where I live in ndg) is 6-10$ and you don't tip because it's incl in their pay.

the best part of these comments is looking up the sweet ass osts

If I've accidentally purchased 'too much' food, and someone is going away ('off schedule') and I hadn't realised, and I think other people will moan, and there is limited freezer space, the Kazuya/Heihachi (Heat Haze Shadow) battle music now kicks in so that I am focused, up to the task of processing, sorting and combining food items into meals with very little waste (if any). "Get ready for the next Fridge Sortout... Sortout... Sortout..."

My battle theme would probably be Eternal War from Final Fantasy XIII-2.

>Am going about my usual business >Have my service dog with me, and she suddenly starts acting up and alerting me that I'm about to pass out >Frantically try to find a place to sit, set down my shit, get my pup ready to wake me up, and let people nearby know that I'm not about to die, I'm just blacked out in the span of about and do all of this in 1 minute and a half >Metal Gear Solid's "Encounter" starts playing

An older woman stopped me as I was starting my car once to warn me sbout the impending incursion of the Dark One into our world, and You Will Know Our Names was playing in my earbuds

“do you want to pay with your credit or debit cards” I think is what Pat said😂😂

This whole thing just proves to me that life is just a game to woolie

A moment of my life: Wake up: Groose Theme. Driving to Work: "THE TIME HAS COME AND SO HAVE I! I'LL LAUGH LAST CAUSE YOU CAME TO DIE!" Walking into work: Silph Corp Theme. Oh no, that manager you don't like: Deviljho Theme!! Hour Long Break to talk nerd shit with other nerds: Have A Short Rest (P5) Theme. Going home, freedom: Chocobo Theme! Getting into the house to do whatever I want: Moon (Ducktales) Theme.

Tip goes up, but Woolie go down.

* Female walking home in NYC * Male standing on street corner doing nothing * Female passes by * Male hits on female and/or asks for money * Danganronpa class trial music intensifies

>night before paper is due >crunching until early morning >pass out >awaken half an hour before class >paper needs ten more pages worth of processed, cited information >kzfaq.info/get/bejne/p7V-h8p8rKvYfIU.html

Pat and Woolie are missing a key variable in Old Person Checkout Time (OPCT).....the card reader. I have seen old men threaten to beat their wives at the self-checkout over not being able to understand >insert or swipe card >Enter PIN or hit credit >Cash back or no? >Maybe OK amount >Remove card, and take your bags >GO HOME IT'S ON THE SCREEN IN STEP-BY-STEP INSTRUCTIONS, JUST READ IT AND CHILL OUT. Also a general rule of thumb for tipping in the US to not be an asshole; Give them the item cost with exact change, then 15%, then however many 1s you have left over until it becomes about 20% or more. Adjust up (AND ONLY UP) if service was excellent, because they literally will barely make minimal wage even with that level of tipping.

My brother Woolie, I feel your pain and tip 20 as well.... Its bullshit

I usually dont tip since i really carry cash on me when im out. Unless when im swipping my card im able to add the tip when im doing that.

>Walk into 7-11 for a snack >It's 1am >drunk Homeless man walking the isles >he decides to knock absolutely everything off the shelf >Looks over to me and makes eye contact. >13th Struggle starts blasting

is there something wrong with the camera on Pat? Because he seems.... wider than I'm pretty sure he actually is in this video for some reason.

I had just gotten back from China. Taking the free airport shuttle bus to a hotel. There's a sign that says that tips are appreciated--an appropriate tip is $1 per bag. I had two bags. I had $1 and $10. I was leaning towards giving them the $1 tip and apologizing. However, the bus ends up picking up lots of Chinese passengers. Tipping doesn't exist in China. So, after everyone else had gotten off the bus, I handed the driver my $10 and dragged my own bags into the hotel.

I love Pat-hmatics

1:04 continuously cutting me off will elicit “battle with evil incarnate” from mgs3