"It's not about having faith in them, it's about having faith in youself.. every step of the way." You're awesome, thank you!

Fear, insecurity, vulnerability, past hurts and relationship failures, ego! These things can sabotage a promising relationship! We often become our own worst enemy.

I woke up today fearful just because of my ego’s understanding. I had a terrible day contemplating ‘walking away’ for no reason at all except to protect myself “just in case” I truly needed this video now. I feel so much better. I accept there will be fearful moments and I will not let ego win

Try to calm down your emotions is the best key to handle this. Anxiety can kill and the destroys the first steps of getting to know our new partner more deeply, and also we have to look at our emotional baggage or emotional background. Because one relationship failed for one reason does not mean it will happen again. Everyone is different and everyone deserves to be love and love. Have a lovely weekend, Susan.

This video is so important. Just entered the dating pool and there are gaps in communication which does make one wonder about the intentions/seriousness of the other person but it's necessary to stay calm because you don't really know what they or their schedule is like. Keep yourself actively occupied and give them the benefit of doubt. ☺

Yes. There's usually three weeks of me reminding myself that "I'm the prize, I'm the prize, I'm the prize!" This is why it's soooo important to Continue My Life, to STill go out w friends. After the third week, I've usually lost interest and don't care if I hear from them or not.

I did blow out a new relationship after 3 awesome dates because he wasn’t texting me enough. Then we both kept communicating that we gave up too soon. We’ll see each other next weekend. I keep my fingers crossed I can be controlling my ego this time. Thank you Susan for this great video!!

Here because I’ve JUST gotten into a relationship. Well actually it’s shocking. I wasn’t expecting it. He says he likes me A LOT and is soooo open about it but has only known me a very short while! I’m scared. I have had such bad experiences in the past!!! I don’t want to self sabotage but I’m like how can you even like me this much??? Lol. I’m also hyper vigilant after being in an abusive relationship in The past. And I’m trying not to Eff it up by self sabotaging!!

You just saved me from blowing up a new relationship. Thanks.

I had to watch this over and over again. I am too scared that my fears and previous experiences will blow up the bridge. I wanna make this one work.

So so so true. Great advice. I have made exactly this mistake. The imagination can breed the most horrible scenarios in the absence of information. Nearly always incorrectly! My advice - when you feel as above then ring a friend even send the red to them that you would like to send to your partner. Ventilate with someone who has a little distance.

It is validating for me to hear you say things I am already doing. Thank you for that. I used to run away before they could hurt me. Then I took away my "fear of rejection" and stayed and watched what would happen if I didn't run. It is a liberating feeling to not fear rejection. I dated someone, after few weeks he told me he still had emotional baggage from ex but wanted to be with me. I told him that dating emotionally unavailable men is not my path and asked him make a conscious choice. He chose to stay and we dated for few more months, really good times, great chemistry, respect, love! Then one day he said that he might still have emotions for his ex and felt he shouldn't hide it from me since I had made it clear before. At that point, I decided to end things. I could have saved that pain if I walked away first time but I simply didn't have enough information and to end things didn't feel like the right decision. I also trusted his choice at that time. Second time around, it felt like the right decision to break up. I glad I didn't run, I stayed and explored.

That's Exactly what is happening to me at the moment I'm so impatient and I always jump into conclusions without knowing that other side of the story I need to change myself :(

When listening to her, I actually started feeling better. She is on the money with this one. I went through all the feelings of insecurity, vulnerability and my ego! Thank you so much, I think I will wait it out as suggested. It's going to be hard, but I'll be okay. Thank you for the advice.

This is exactly what I needed to hear. I’m saving this video to re watch when I fear this is happening again.

Your videos helped me so many times and I want to say thank you! One of the best channels I subscribed to.

I just started long distance dating a friend of mine who I've known for two years. She is in Russia and I am here in the USA. There was a period when I didn't hear from her for nearly three days and I thought, "Well, there goes that." In my previous relationship, I had been severely burned by someone who basically used me as a rebound to get revenge on her ex-fiance hence I thought there was a similar repeat this time. I even text my older sister and said that this was turning into ex-girlfriend 2.0. I then thought, "Well, give her a fair chance. This person is not the same as the last. Let's just see what happens." I then get a message from her, and after a very sincere discussion, it just turned out that she was very busy. She was so apologetic and sincere, she even said, "I'm not letting you go, I'm like a big grizzly bear that doesn't let go." I feel all types of happy writing this. This is still the beginning and I'm not sure where it will go, but there are tentative plans to go to Russia. Had I blown the bridge, I'd probably still be a lonely sad panda. I don't know if this will get lost in the sea of comments, but if it helps out anyone in the future, then that's good. Russia or bust!

Thank you Susan. I do not act on my emotions out of fear and anxiety anymore. You are right, we must have faith in OURSELVES

Everybody is scared. So true.

Susan you have an impeccable timing. I am so thankful for your advice. You are truly a life saver ❤️

EGO is the thing, is the thing blow up the bridge and kills almost the entire possibilities, love and everything. EGO is the next challenge, manage it before it's too late !

Three years later, I found this at the exact time I needed it. My hand was on the button. I thank you for providing an alternative to walking away.

I destroyed the bridge because my anxiety took over. Looking back though I deserved better anyway but couldn't see it at the time.

Why isn't this stuff being thought in high schools? How is anybody to learn about managing interpersonal relationships? Thank you Suzan for educating us, at the end of our life, or our relationships, when we finally have free time to find answers and learn. It is so rewarding to grow old, improve, and benefit from learning.

This ONE VIDEO, I must've watched 10x or more over two months - this has saved me SO many times from making stupid knee-jerk mistakes! Thank you!!

This video was made for me. I always did the pack up and run breakup when I got scared.

Hey Susan, I was obsessing/thinking negatively about a recent relationship and I just wanted to tell you that your advice solved my problem. Now, instead of thinking of what could go wrong in the relationship or why it might end, I instead remind myself that I'm brave/tough enough to walk through the fire of a romantic relationship and see where it goes/what happens.

Thank you so much for that video! You really explained it in a good way. Sometimes we just overthink about the relationship and want to blow up the bridge, while we can just stay calm and put our ego away.

Thanks Susan. I never really been in a serious relationship before but now, out of nowhere, I've met a great girl. I don't put effort in dating but she is different and I REALLY want this to work. All you said pertains to me. I hear you loud and clear. Thank you.

1:32 this was EXACTLY me rehearsing in my car the other day after no text … later his mom told me he was working in their yard all afternoon, phone inside😳 LOL thanks for the reality check Susan

I blew up the bridge , then she came back but I know that I'll need to build her trust in me again ... This advice is excellent .

I needed this - 4/5 months ago. But i still learn the lesson of not overthinking and thinking what if scenarios. They just breed from fear and misguided thinking. This kind of autopilot mode is what killed it for me I believe and I’m still having a hard time letting go.

I wish I had found your channel like four months ago. It would have saved me a lot of sleepless nights, anxiety, panic, worry and poor decisions. But thankfully I did find it, so next time the same things won't happen again. Thank you so much Susan

Hi Susan you have No idea how much this video has helped me ! This is soo me, I blow up the bridge as you say because I feel there not interested in me, Trouble is I find in hard to work out if she was just ignore me because she never said I like you, or because she had a busy life at the moment, I'm not worried if they not reply calls/ text the same day or few days but I can't see people going weeks with out 30 secs just to say hey I've been supper busy but been thinking off you, if she wanted to be part my life, But with your videos comes clarity I'm certain I will meet the right person one day , Many thanks Robert

Just wanted to say thanks. I really needed to hear this. It sucks that my mind jumps to fear, probably because of past relationships. I like the idea to give yourself a timeline like 4 hours or one day.

Just was left holding the bag .... but I rode it out and know that I didn’t quit and gave her my very best!

Yeah... Yes! So many times... But then after the ego/fear passed away, there is the regret, not fun at all!... Better to let things go and see. --> I LOVE the "mental discipline and faith in oneself". This is it! Thanks for the great, detailled while short (grateful for that) reminder.

Thanks so much, I was thinking about blowing up the bridge, but you're so right, it's just my fear ego. I will be courageous and persevere 💪 as I can feel that he is genuine and likes me when we are together.

I love your videos. I have gone through so much in past relationships. I really want to make this one work but the overthinking and expecting the worst are so overwhelming. This helped me a lot. Thank you

I've made this mistake of giving in to my fears and acting out on my emotions. I wish i could have calmed my ego and not killed the energy. How could you bring back that connection? Thank you for your videos!! They've given me a lot of insights, clarity and empowerment on so many things I am struggling with. Wish I could have found this sooner.

You are my new favorite channel! Wow thank you!!! The best advice for real.👏🏻👏🏻🏆🏆

Great advice. I've been there and done that "blowed up the bridge" and regretted it. Tried to get back together and never quite managed it. Learned from it though and I agree pausing and not jumping into any hastey conclusions or actions is the best way to go

I used to be like that. My ego was choosing for me and I left all my exes. I just recently realized that I wasn't winning the prize for being the tough woman. I was losing a great opportunity to become vulnerable and welcoming true love in my life. By the way, I didn't leave my exes based on him not texting me or silly stuff like that (I explain my text theory in another comment), but as soon as the guy was starting to taking me for granted, I waited a bit without saying anything (so immature of me) and then after 3-4 months or so with no improvement, I called it quits. Even relationships that were 3-4 years long. So so stupid of me. Glad that I've changed. Thanks for the great video, I hope more people realize what you just said!

I had a moment of anxiety, blew up but didn't blow the bridge, he handled it well, we managed to talk, told me to stop over thinking. We reassured each other. At the end of the day I thanked him. Truly grateful he handled it well. Will really see how the relationship goes.

In the past, I've sensed that there was nothing. It's pretty obvious. It's been 2 months. Heavy at first and zero and I mean zero. But in my mind, I need a clean break, so I just say, "not sure what's going on, so I'm just going to wish you well. It was really nice to meet you, but you must be dealing with things I don't know about." I'm not mean about it, and I don't end it. I just....let it go. It helps me to move on. I can get too obsessive. I am trying to curtail that.

I was planning on blowing the bridge up tomorrow lol maybe because of the ego, but I realized that I care and like her and shouldn't hurt her coz of that. So I will just let hot and cold continue until some more time has passed and stop obsessing 😊. Worst that can happen in the end is I will get hurt, but I am certainly strong enough to take it.

Boy I wish I’d seen this 3 months ago, But glad I seen it now. My anxiety is off the chain and I gotta get it in check before I screw up something with a great guy, if I haven’t already..... Too many unanswered questions tho idk if I can keep on like this tho. Idk we’ll see. Thanks for the video

I really needed to hear this. I wanna say thank, thank you so very much. Fear is a horrible thing, was about to ruin a good thing I have going which is very fresh, thank you again!! ❤️

Thanks Susan. This is all so true. Finally, finally my much younger guy friend and I have started talking again and we both admitted to liking each other for more than friends. After 3 years of on and off friendship omg. He just kept coming back. We talked about why neither of us would tell the other how we felt. It feels amazing to finally have it out in the open with no more fear holding me back. Of course there is more talks we will have but the hardest, well one of the hardest parts has finally come to fruition.

Everything needs to be understood and used in balance. This video won't solve everyone's problem when it comes to know "What is the correct amount of time waiting for a response?" Susan W. can only give us an idea about it in order to avoid giving up too soon and burning bridges. - But eventually it all depends on our emotional state that determines, if we either have done enough work to be relaxed and wait or we don't. This is at least my experience.

I got into a new relationship a week ago and this was very helpful ❤️

Susan you are fantastic. This video is spot on. This happened to me. Exactly as you stated. And yes, I regretted it and tried to humble myself, apologize and get back together with someone. It did not work out for the reason you say! (He couldn’t trust me.) My final thought is, it’s okay. It was a very good lesson to learn. No regrets. Moving on. 😔💖

Well, SUSAN, we just love you as well! ♥️ You not only have helped me, but also to the many people I have inspired through your messages! In fact, I am, once again, redirecting this video to a man who needs some help regarding his “EGO” issues!! Like you, I love helping people in regards to finding true love without expectations by giving them the TOOLS which is desperately needed in a world filled with much anxiety! Thank you for your insightful videos and may God Bless you for sharing your love! 💕💕

Eek. I did this recently - "blew up the bridge" over something really minor and I regret it. I had been hurt badly a few months before and I was so scared and so on the lookout for signs when I started dating someone new. So something very small happened and I was feeling unsure, so I ended it with him. A day later I realised I had probably made a mistake and ended it prematurely, but by then he was uncertain about me and said let's just be friends. I think he still likes me because he texts me quite often, but I can see it might be an uphill battle if I ever want to get in there with dating him again. Good points Susan makes.

When I used my sharpened intuition, i decided To go Overland blow it up after the texting slowed, I indeed found him with another at his home . The neighbors let me in. This wasn't new, but a third time in 2 years on and more off. I actually thought his approach this time was very positive. But it was more important the 6 months before to deepen or sharpen intuition.i guess I was onewho earlier needed better discernment. It was hard in a new country and a language I wasnt speaking well. I appreciate your videos.

Hi Susan. I agree with his so far. I love that he explains truthfully things to me. It helps me trust him more. I've known him now 3 years and he's very worth building a healthy relationship with

Best advice ever, always assume for the best and if you do not get the best then is the wrong person and that will be on them. If you assume for the worse it will be on you 🤷‍♀️

Susan, I think you're fabulous. You give very real scenarios that truly happen... Thank you for your wisdom! Wishing you well!

I love you Susan. You've helped me change my life for the very best by showing me positive and prosperous ways to see relationships!!! Thank you

Such great advice....so refreshing listening to you in comparison to other relationship advisors on you tube...I love how your advice is always positive and revolves around love...A typical answer to such a question from another you tuber would be, You are a high value woman..so don't let him walk all over you!

Walked away from a past person to save my ego. Accepted his return after a little 2.5 years. Now, calming my ego after convo has lessened.

Susan, I used to do that all the time. I still tend to feel that and I fight it.

Well stated!!! Be calm, don't blow up the bridge!!

This is so true. Especially when getting back together with someone. I'm such a control freak that's what ruined it (well contributed to the break up) in the first place. Ughhh. I wish I could do one on one with you but youre expensive so I'll just watch your videos lol. Keep them coming!

Susan, You are truly the best coach out there!! You are awesome! I needed to hear your insights tonight about new relationships. Thank You.

This is the best video in the history of time. I wasted hundreds of thousands of dollars on therapy that couldn't accomplish for me what you did in a 7 minute video. Thank you.

It's really about us that reflects along the way, not the other person. As always, great point

Exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you, Susan!

Wow..I needed this I've gone to see this man twice and I really really like him I'm not gonna end it because of mistrust but my anxiety right now is through the roof he travels a lot and he didnt answer the phone last night and he probably just fell asleep but I'm leaving him alone I have to give him the benefit of the doubt hes a good man from what I see Don't want to blow opportunity with him I'm willing to be the one to get rejected I was happily married for 27 years I'm a widow and hes twice divorced and I know I'm gon to have to be patient with him

This video just made me reach out to someone i had "rejected" for not showing enough interest, he has really shown up since then, and I think he actually just was unsure of my level of interest and protecting himself.. so me reaching out again, gave him the courage to step up his game and he has been great since..Thanks!

True advice ma'am.

Oh boy this triggered me. It made so much sense!!! But my tummy got churny. We’ve had such a huge connection then he didn’t text me back yesterday. A trick…text yourself, write him a text and send it to yourself. I did that I slept on it then read it the next day. I sounded ok, but realize the power is in riding this out. Or at least calmly talking about it next time I see him.

Thank you dear Susan, this is such a great piece of advice! I used to burn the bridges all the time and I seriously deeply regret all of those situations now, even many years later. Open communication is THE key to good relationships I have learned a hard way. :)

You’re so right Susan thank you for this amazing advice, I struggle with anxiety a lot

I was ready to blow up the bridge earlier but not because of ego. It's because I miss the steady equilibrium of being on my own. I do feel hyper alert to ''patterns''' in communication. I am giving him the benefit of the doubt. Rationally I know he deserves the benefit of the doubt but I think being single is easier, and yet, I do want it to continue.

There are a certain type of people with whom this doesn't work...the narcissist. After being incredibly patient and having the courage to ride the waves of their delayed scarse communication (in the context of his statements that "I love you so much and how lucky I am to have met you") he callously broke our relationship by text when I expressed my need for better communication. 5 months of precious time wasted + broken heart.

Great advice.

Very good video and wished I found this last year. I had my first ever relationship at the age of 41 and messed everything up. Ended it after seven weeks because I felt I was being played. Wish I never broke up because now I’m extremely lonely with no friends at all. Tried to get her back to have a face to face chat for either closure or second chance. She told me I had to pay her £225 for her beauty treatment and will allow me to take her out. Three hours prior to picking her up, she blew out and told me she had no intention of seeing me and planned everything to hurt me as much as possible so that I’ll leave her alone. My hunger and determination went out the window. Confidence shot to pieces. She manipulated me for the money. She was much smarter than me and older, but didn’t know her age or any of her social media accounts. Never met her family or friends.

OMG Susan... I had emailed you with my problem and you've answered it. But I had never seen this video of you... this is exactly what I did to ruin my relationship... and yes, going back after it is impossible (in my case). You are such an insighful lady, I can't thank you enough for everything that I have learned with you... really, thank you. ❤

You are incredible! I'm so glad I found your channel. Wish I found this 5 months ago. What an amazing video. Thank you so much!

Thank you you eased one of my most problematic behavior, I'm young and get really restless especially with my thoughts now I can relax a bit just have faith in myself

I just got dumped. I was going to do it first so I was well prepared. I did exactly what you are saying. I was in constant contact with a guy who told me he didn't text/ talk a lot. However he had many excuses that made no sense. His 15 year old didn't want to meet me, he had to be at the hospital for his ex who had nobody, he had to go 2 hours out of the way for his haircut, his tried to commit suicide, he drove his ex to a halfway house 2 hours away...on and on.. I figured he was playing me. It was always something but he wanted to be exclusive, he talked about moving in together, he talked about marriage. He told me he couldn't offer me much but I was welcome to what he had. You know what he had? Nothing for me. I gave it my all so he could dump me via Messenger because I am to high maintenance. He kept none of his promises..none. I sure have learned my lesson. Thank you for your video's. They help me see the light!

Dear Susan, I did it. I ruined a relationship, because I was so intensly overwhelmed by big emotions... That of my very stressful one day, he made a joke..And it felt like my whole body was exploding.. How can someone from who I want the most support, can say something that silly to me? I tried to fix it every way that I could, but.. He did not forgive me.. It went downward spiral.. "Block" botton, delete... Sadness and pain..One month of communicating... So much for your helpful advice!

Thank you so much ... I love the way that you described " blowing up the bridge" - I have done that before ( I was cheated on by ex- husband ) - I am in a fairly new relationship and we are taking it slow. From night one we promised no- matter what we would be honest with each other. I am able to say he has not hurt me, he has promised to be honest even if its not what I want to hear and he is very kind!! I am assuming positive intent!! I have had one communication situation and before I would of assumed it's me ( that he is upset with, etc ) and said something, etc but I didn't and I found out it was a friend situation and I actually ended up being the person he talked to about it, etc 😊 also .... great advice to take it slow and let each person have the time and space to see if it is going to work . We clicked right away ( first over the phone /texting and then in person .... ) instant mutual attraction! Thank goodness we both had enough logical brain in us to not act on those feelings etc right away because it possibly could of ruined our chance for a long term relationship - but we're taking it day by day and we have definitely grown much more emotionally close together! 😊

You are awesome! Way to give practical advice. Thank you for shining light on my situation.

“You want to have the faith in yourself” 7:19

Excellent advice, thank you so much, Susan! I recently did exactly what you described... And I am so glad that we are acting more mature and willing to make it work 😁⭐️ As you said, it’s scary, not easy... But we gotta keep our ego in check 💜💕 Keep rocking it!

All of the scenerios she stated happened to me. I blew my new relationship up because they were texting slow. I regretted it and got back with them and it ended quickly afterwards. Their energy was not the same for me. I learned my lesson.

I needed to hear this! I have allowed my ego to get I. The way I got into a new relationship and I just have this feeling in my stomach but it went away after this video he swears to everything he wants me and im tripping and all evidence points to him being the faith ful man he says he is but if he starts acting a lil different not sending the million kiss emojis all the sudden I am like oh god he’s breaking up with me and he’s not. Now though my insecurities are pushing him away and we will be perfect together if I get out of my head so thank you

Thank you from the bottom of my Heart This helped me so much. No matter if he is into me or not, I learned so much just from the situation.

Very brilliant. Thank you Susan ❤️

thank you for the guidance

This is the best thing ive watched today! On point and precise. God bless Susan and more power 🤗🥰

Thank you susan, I am in need to hear this, it helps a lot. sending you love.

Ha ha ha ha!!!!! ''You want to be the first one who blow up the bridge, pufff''. So funny!! But seriously, you're absolutly right and I love the way you explain things. I love you Susan!!

What a wise woman, thanks for bringing in logic into this dance of emotions!

2 yrs later still relevant. Thank you Susan 🌼

Thanks dear Susan fr tht wisdom …on time fr me ♥️♥️♥️

You described me so perfectly. If I feel like someone is doing me wrong or trying to play me I immediately start to think of blowing shit off with them. It's a defense mechanism.. maybe a part for my ego for not being the one who got left or dumped first, but more so I don't want to get hurt. I'm in a long distance relationship.. just started. We've been talking for 3 months and had 4 visits and Facetime almost every night to cover the distance. Our visits were all amazing times. Recently we decided to make what we have exclusive. But I feel like she's super distant sometimes. Doesn't text much (hours and hours), and doesn't do things she used to do. I wonder if I'm over thinking it though. She used to get on the phone more excited, smiley, and shy. She used to send me more pictures via text. She used to ask about my day and want to know every detail because she was interested. Lately things feel like they are getting duller, the curiosity and interest is fading, or something. Our Facetime calls used to go on for hours and she would be giddy with wonder and curiosity asking so much about me.. but now our calls don't seem to have that same kind of energy like they used to. Not terribly dull, but something definitely feels off. We both are super busy and we've talked about this.. but you'd think coming from someone who claims they REALLY like me and says they miss me all the time they would shoot me a text more often. I'm thinking of calling it off.

I'm constantly, getting dumped on. They get close, and I 'm always there and available to them, never nag, patient. They are all so fearful! It's unbelievable how ready they are to back out! like within days! I give up! They can't get past 2-3 dates, also saying they are just overwhelmed with their busy lifestyle, and kids, work, like crazy why they are at all on the dating sites. They are clearly not focused on dating. Awful. Thanks Susan!