"Add value to every person you meet." Simple as that. Well done Ben, this is a really really REALLY powerful TED Talk

1.develop self worth (mirror technique) 2.accept the way you are 3.self affirmations 4.add value to everyone you meet 5.what makes you exicted about life? 6.go deeper and deeper into the opposite person favourites 7.walk away from negativity

You don't realize this but as you grow up, being surrounded by people like Ben is a blessing

You can tell this guy has really practiced his presentation and is fully confident in the message that he’s sharing

I had ZERO self esteem and practically hated myself until I started speaking positive affirmations in the mirror. It was SUCH a challenge to start but looking back if it wasn’t for that one practice I wouldn’t be the successful confident young woman I am today💕 KNOW THY SELF

"Add value to every person you meet." Make the other person the main character in your conversation. Amazing and thanks a lot.

Great talk. Unresponsive audience. feed them to the crocodillos

Everyone ALWAYS comments “horrible audience”, but they’re supposed to listen without clapping wildly. Also, the audio engineers probably quiet the audience a bit so we can hear the speaker.

How to be magnetic instantly: • Develop Self-worth • Add value to other's peoples lives • Learn to Walk Away (Negative People)

Horrible audience. This guy was amazing.

And 15:35.. adding context, some people look like they are tolerating you but might actually be dealing with social anxiety. Have discernment. Your persistence and warmth with someone who is finding it hard to express themselves might leave a positive impression of care and warmth that others fail to give. Keep your compassion and keep an open mind. You don't know the reason why someone acts the way they do, and normally its their own insecurities and nothing to do with you.

I read Ben Chai´s book "Social Magnetism" half a year ago. It has dramatically changed the way I network.

Networking and attracting the right people is kind of an art. And indeed, it's all about adding value. Read Ben's book, Social Magnetism, and really recommend it as it's very practical and contains lots of insights.

1. Self - worth (mirror technique) 2. Give value to ppl (keep ur phone away, go deeper on convos, ask qs that excite them) 3. Walk away from crocodile

I HAVE DONE THE MIRROR THING SINCE HIGH SCHOOL. I always told my friends about it when they were struggling to appreciate themselves - and I believe it helped them through the years. when I am having a rough day, I look at myself in the mirror and remind myself what is great about me. I think it's important to recognize millennial culture in this practice too - selfies and snapchat and mirrors aren't solely about being narcissistic, but instead, building confidence in a microscopically judgmental world.

This was so incredibly helpful to watch. As someone who’s struggled their entire life with personal image, and social anxiety, it’s been difficult to try to communicate with people in a way that portrays conviction, confidence, and connection. Immediately showing interest in that persons passion, what makes them happy, what brings them joy, it opens the door to a conversation that’s valuable to everyone. A very simple but effective way to connect with someone on a much deeper level. I’ll take this with me

To be a social magnet, I must build self-esteem, add value to people and learn to walk away from the crocodile Thank you sir

This man won my heart he is so kind

6:30 BRO I DO THAT ALL THE TIME BEFORE I GET INTO THE SHOWER it is because im a bit vain but looking at myself in the mirror for a few minutes and just think "damn that is a fellow with potential" really does help

I love how Ben demonstrated immediately what he is "preaching" - how he got Trayan on stage. So simple and yet so powerful.

For me the problem is that most of my favorite topics aren't "icebreaker" material. Meaning I have to search DEEP into my brain to find something to say to someone to not sound boring.

I think its really charming how Ben is replying to everyone on here. That's some practice what you preach kind of thing. Its really inspiring how he didn't give up on humanity after the way he was treated

I love Phindi...every time I see her in the mirror I can’t help but stop for a sec to admire her.. I call her PUC (pretty up close). Coz she is a fox up close but not so shiny from a distance😉. I guess a lot of people find her interesting coz she has the ability to connect with just about anyone on a 1st encounter. But the moment they show too much interest, it drains her of her energy and she goes back to her wonderful shell. And that’s my story I walk away even when I should stay and then I beat myself up about it for a little while before their memory fades and then I remember how nice and comfy my shell is and I go back inside with the biggest smile on my face.😌

This lively speaker grew on me as I listened. I love his three tips for being "socially magnetic". Turns out I've spent way too much time: * hurling recriminations at myself; * isolating from others; and -- * flossing the teeth of crocodiles! (This is ludicrous, because I am AMAZING.)

BARS! That point, walk away. The push and pull, bring people flocking to your life. You give the a little value, then let them come to you. I find myself pushing for friendship and get flaky people.

So much positive energy

Mantra: May my time here be beneficial to all beings💕

It’s all love, positivity & tranquility. From Shirlane RW

1. Develop self worth 2. Add value to people everywhere you go. (Ask a question that makes them feel excited) 3. Walk/run away from the crocodiles

step 1. build confidence. add value to yourself. SELF WORTH method: mirror technique step 2: add value to people method: ask them questions like, what are you passionate about? talk about things that excites them. take selfies with people ans put it up. step 3: need to learn ro walk away. run away from crocodiles. method: legit cut em off -walk away from being tolerated. no one wants to be tolerated.

I've noticed that Ben himself has answered many of the comments personally. How lovely is that. An infectious enthusiasm.

Having worked with Ben, he is the consummate professional. He is a savvy entrepreneur who leads with his heart helping others to learn and grow. He is an expert presenter who is well rehearsed and knowledgable on many levels. This

I learned when someone asks you “what do you do”, they’re calculating the level of respect to give you.

“Be the oasis in the storm” that hit rly deep for me

I can relate with your past. Now, I walk into a room and all eyes on me 🥰

Kirill from Russia here - found your social magnetism talk really helpful in connecting with others

Never ruffle a crocodile's feathers. I love that. Brilliant advise.

I love this speaker, he’s so funny &his personality is adorable!!!!

I’m really glad KZfaq recommended this bc these days 90% of Ted talks are repetitive and little value add

1.mirror technique 2.gjve value to people 3.walk away from crocodile

I had the pleasure of spending some one-to-one time with Ben yesterday and he is exactly as he presents himself - authentic, positive and fun-loving. He is certainly socially magnetic and a true inspiration.

Brazil likes social magnetism. This gentleman brings the best out of everyone and THAT’S what’s about! Great talk!

Love everyone unconditionally and they will love you back.

3rd point is life saving, time saving. Energy saving. Many crocs around me😁 I will run away too. Thanks

He’s an Expert in Networking 👑

This person is a very strong man. Remaining a good person after bad things happened to him uffff....... I want to be like him 🤩

Wow...Never thought adding value would be something as simple as listening to people talk about themselves for a while

Gives you permission to love yourself. Great

This helped me more than any pill or therapy session. This is one of the best talks I have heard. I've listened to this several times and I thank you Ben. You blessed me immensely with your story . Namaste.

This is a great TEDx Talk on Social Magnetism, Ben Chai. I really like the way you emphasised it all starts with developing self-worth and adding meaningful value to people and learn to walk away from people who do not value you.

Yes, I want to live longer :) 1. Develop your self worth - value yourself, positive affirmations - mirror technique, accept yourself. 2. Add value to people you meet everyday - Instead of asking data sharing questions, ask questions that are exciting. 3. Walkaway from negativity.

This is really educative. I always regard myself as an introvert even though I have things to offer. Value that is. I go to social gatherings and meet ups and I always hold back. Maybe I feel noone will listen to me, or that I'd get embarassed. But you know what, I will show up more. I will connect and network with people more. No harm in that. And as Ben has said, if it feels forced, I will walk away. Cheers to us putting ourselves out there more

One of the best Ted talks ever. The way he spoke, the way he carried himself. The little bits of humour here and there. And the great advice. It was amazing.

I love this TEDx talk which I have viewed as part of my journey towards acceptance, dignity, compassion and kindness. In this talk Ben bravely exposes his personal story and shares some impetrative take-home messages: - Use the ‘mirror technique’ to learn to love yourself - Add value to people - Walk away from the “crocodiles” I highly recommend reading his book about social magnetism which speaks about attracting the right people and communicating with them in an effective and humane way.

the way i broke down watching this. Thanks Ben.

Lovely person and a great speaker

Thank you to everyone and TEDx Surrey for providing a lovely platform to share and for all your lovely comments. Below are a few behind the scenes notes. Do feel free to add your own persepctives :-) *Develop self worth by deep self acceptance.* Affirmations are a great tool but have been shown to be ineffectual long term. For example, if someone used an affirmation such as "I am great" and used this affirmation every day. Your unconscious self will be shouting this is a lie - "I am not great". This tension between your conscious self and your unconscious self will ultimately cause depression, or stress related illnesses. . *Adding Value* Adding value to other people's lives is also tricky one for many reasons. Three examples:- you may not feel you can add value to someone because you do not connect with their vibe, you have lack of your own self-worth (hence why the first point is important), you may feel that compared to you they are significantly accomplished in life. This Tedx talk shares how you can add value to others when you feel you have no value to give. For example, if you have low self esteem or what society may label as a lowly job. *Learn to walk away* Finally learning to walk away.....depending on the culture, society and self-worth, many find it difficult to walk away. An understanding of what we mean by negative people is also important. In strategic terms, 1. Walk away from people who abuse you. ie they abuse who you are or your time. 2. Walk away or severely limit contact with people who drain you. There is nothing particularly wrong with these people and other people would probably enjoy being with them but for you they just drain your energy. People who are constantly complaining but never taking any action to deal with their complaints may be an example. 3. "Negative" people....nobody is inherently negative or positive. Many businesses fail because they do not listen to "negative" people or label people as negative rather than evaluating whether the person's perspective is right for a give time and situation and then using risk management techniques to mitigate the potential unwanted outcome.

Wow, thought provoking stuff. Didn't know loneliness was the biggest killer on the planet! Loved the practical demonstration on how you can add value to everyone around you

Since 2018, i been following you Ben and now that i am in Turkey, many people around me also got inspired by your guidance. Turkey loves you Ben 🙏🏻

I think the title is misleading, it's more self worth than becoming socially magnetic. It only talks about getting to an average level rather than being able to be the centre of a social gathering which the title eludes to.

"Be an oasis". Just a couple of months ago I realised that's what I want to be. Someone who looks the best, sounds the best, talks the best and interacts in the best possible way he can. Why not be the best person you can - for yourself and for everybody else. How beautiful would it be if you and I met, and, haven taken the vow to be the best we can, both of us get a warm smile from each other. Just because we have chosen that that's what we want to give, because everybody deserves it. And we'd both feel (even) better. :)

One of the kindest guys I've ever seen and very knowledgeable about his various skills, great ted talk!

I can really relate to this TED Talk

Amazing. (hope that added value to the comment section)

Well done! Magnetic Ben👋

I loved the talk! Very insightful and easy to listen to. 3 points, easy to remember, and simple enough to practice! Sometimes people focus on being the centre of attention themselves to feel magnetic, but to put the spotlight to others is actually the secret. (And run away if you accidentally put spotlight to a crocodile, though, right?) I think only people truly confident with themselves can give the spotlight to others, because they do not need others' confirmation as they give themselves self-confirmation.

love yourself, go deeper in conversations (don't just ask the shallow repetitive questions) and stay away from bad people

Aww he seems bare softhearted

What a wonderful speaker! So lovely and giving. :)

Adding value to people is a very important lesson. People who are liked the most are sociable, and mostly good listeners. Barely any person is boring, everyone has something interesting to share, their passions and life if you just ask the right questions and listen. It´s beautiful to see. I have a friend who judges people a lot after meeting them once, and it´s a pity because people are not not boring or this or that when you dońt really try to understand how they are and why.

This is amazing! 👏💖 I am blessed to know Ben. One of the kindest gentlemen ever! Love him!! "Horrible giant monster" 😭💔 "I think he was from junior school" 🤣😂🤣😂 "Mum, what's Chinese?" 😍😍😍😍😍😍😥💔😥💔 😥💔😥💔😥 So cute but so sad learning 😥💔 We had a funny Chinese lady serve us in the Japanese restaurant on Saturday... Adnan asked for a knife and fork... "no sorry, we don't have, not allowed here, against the law" 🤣🤣😂😂🤣😂🤣

Congratulations

while covid is going on this stuff is a reminder of what life used to be

Hello it’s Michelle from clubhouse I was very informed during your session

Great talk, an I Love Doctor who too!!! God bless y'all

Amazing talk, thankis

Mirror technique you mentioned for self-worth everyone should practice every day. I like the way you talk about your personal experience. Add value to anyone you meet not superficially but being genuinely interested. You share powerful insight when you said that sometimes you become a connector between two individual to add value. You don't need to add value always directly. You need to learn to walk away from crocodiles.

Brilliant talk about how simple life should be, accept yourself for who you are and to be positive too, the right people will come to you. I remember being that little boy and I definitely feel different about how I feel about myself. Now where is that mirror 💥🔥❤ Amazing Ben thank you !!

Thank you Ben ❤❤❤

He seems like such a lovely, warm-hearted person. His aura is so beautiful.

Add value to people I meet every day.

Ben Chai "The Doctor Whp of Business" digs deep into what mant people struggle with, "being liked" or "attracting people" this can be achievedby some very simple practices as Ben details in this powerful talk on how to be "Socialy Magnetic" 1. love yourself. 2. Add Value. 3. Avoid negative people.

Hello from Cuba !!! Amazing Speaker excellent!!!

As someone who long ago learned not to feed the crocodiles 🐊 it’s great to hear from a like minded soul. Being a psychiatrist, I can appreciate how Ben has found his Zen through social & business strategy that builds and invests in great teams to run his companies then lets go of them to let them fly. Bravo!

Thank you! This technique helped me from the very first try. I don't even know how to thank you. It is a great talk

great talk and a reminder of how we want the world to be ... adding values, avoiding crocodiles

Great speech indeed

Quiet inspiring. I took away not allowing people to talk negative about themselves around me.Well done Ben,I love your spirit.

Mirror technic Amaizing

I remember when being depressed (duo to school) the thought of dying was a relief and made me kind of happier, knowing that suffering is finite.

This was a great talk. Thoroughly enjoyed his energy

Thank you ❤

Amazing talk Ben... Never teach a crocodile to floss... Love it!! Ben, excellent talk, thank you sharing your gift with the world.

Ben’s very charismatic and relatable, an absolute legend.

I like “magnetic”! Great terminology!

He put the words to my recovery from depression and anxiety. What a beautiful life lesson.

Very encouraging, someone who has been in a very dark place can really uplift their self and start to love them self!! Ohkiera

This is my area I have worked with clients for 20 years on this and I love it. Also meeting people and leaving them with the impression of increase, when they walk away from you they feel better for the interaction.

Play the video at X1.5 - so much better

I've always been a fan of Ben Chai but i think he really brought it on this talk. So many great ideas i had to grab a note pad and start taking notes. Thanks for sharing Ben and keep up the good work!