It should be called something like "ARD" for "Attention Regulation Disorder"

It always feels like the name describes what neurotypical parents/teachers are frustrated with, not the actual experience of the person with ADHD.

@@rosieleaverton 100%. "Attention deficit" sounds like if we just acquire more attention points (or brain RAM, or whatever) we'd be fixed. We have plenty of attention, dang it, we just can't aim it as well!

@Sawyer Sweet Art haha yep love that. "we can't aim it as well!" 😂

I've had it explained as *Attention to Detail Disorder,* which is not really a disorder; it's a *superpower.*

And then reading comments too!!!! 😉

Lol

This is me literally right now lol

Yes

Skipping the video every other 5 seconds

ACCURATE

@@HowtoADHD it's like watching video's in reverse, it's so frustrating

Ugh. I use to borrow people’s notes from lectures I attended just so I could fill in the gaps from when I stopped paying attention (even though I was trying to pay attention). So frustrating.

It can take me up to an hour to watch a 15 minute video, especially if the topic makes me want to look something up. Google and smartphones have been both the best and worst inventions!

Especially when I don't make the video full screen. If I can see the thumbnails of other videos, I MUST read the titles, thus missing "what they said" yet again.

I’m 70 & only just figured this out.

I am 66 and same same

63 and same.

53 and same. Literally the only definition of it put out there back in the day was of a naughty misbehaving hyperactive boy who couldn't sit still in class! That wasn't me!

Sending love your way. I just found out now at 35. I couldn’t imagine much later.

Ok that's not only adhd, that's skill

Behold, das flex.

I literally got rid of my Xbox because of this. I would hyper focus to the detriment of the rest of my iLife

Life, not iLife. But that’s a funny typo

downloading a new gacha game, researching the bet units to reroll for, spending and afternoon doing just that, powerlevelling, looking up meta guides and future units to watch out for, building a team that works and crushing through the ranks, then uninstalling the game a week later when it becomes a daily task rather than a sudden rush.

Is that a sign. I wasn’t paying attention 😅

Just at me next time

Always.

Yes 😭

Busted!

Maddy, I’m sorry that you experienced this

@@davidfleisch4163 That means a lot to me, David, thank you sm.

"If you had just tried" is one of those phrases that still hurts. When you really, genuinely care, and you put your everything into something and its not good enough, and people treat you like you're letting them down for not having done more... it leaves a mark.

My school reports were full of these comments every term. I used to want to reply that they should try to make things interesting or teach better!

I didn't notice until I grew up, but I tried SO HARD in school. So hard. And I never got to where I wanted to be. I was always behind. Even though I probably spent more time on my studies than 90% of my classmates. And everyone (including me) always said, "you did so well without studying, imagine how well you could have done if you'd worked harder"

I feel like these are specific yet broad points. Do we know if a "normal" adult should relate to a decent amount of these? Idk how this channel even showed up on my recommended list but curiosity had me click it lol. Maybe KZfaq is trying to diagnose me.

If you're relating to that much of it, I'd recommend getting tested! ADHD frequently goes undiagnosed and then people go on thinking they're just lazy or not trying hard enough, and that everyone struggles with these same things... when in reality their brains just work differently than neurotypical brains.

@@thedoctordb5765 yeah me too! i was watching random videos on instagram and then videos about adhd started to pop out and then i realize most of the things fits me. right now i am thinking to going to see s psychiatrist to be sure i have adhd.

@@AnnaReed42 im currently working to get tested because of doing research and discovering that what im going through is not "normal" and i relate to almost everything in the video. my husband and i believe i have misdiagnosis of anxiety and depression thats actually ADHD

@@simmersabi Nice! Yeah anxiety and depression are often comorbid with ADHD, but the symptoms can look the same so I can see how it could be a misdiagnosis.

Me too!

Me too. My whole life I've been label as the bad kid in the family. I haven't been diagnosed but I have every symptom for ADHD.. Sucks cause now I'm 32 with no job cause I feel like I'm a lost cause..

yup.

me too i remember been a high achiever in the classroom and then how disappointed my teachers were after every test and exam. I just couldn't concentrate and focus on tests/ exams

Or "stop trying. Just do it!".

same here….i see so many signs in my daughter and started research and only just realized that i might have adhd as well…

Same with me. I understand completely.

I really need to get my daughter tested. It's a long wait for most adults, but kids can get in faster.

The signs & symptoms of ADHD r diff in girls than boys that's y girls r so often misdiagnosed

I have read that women are more likely to be attention deficit non-hyperactive.

😟 That is heartbreaking. I’m so sorry. 😔💛

Oh God, I am so sorry that this happened to you. No child ever deserves to be beaten. 😢

wow so they gave you worse memory problems for not remembering 💀😍🤡

I memorized that speech from my parents because I heard it so often. I still hear it echoing in my head on bad days.

Yes, reading in the corner around extended family! That was me.

Every school report I ever got said some variation of 'is a bright girl, very funny and a pleasure to have in class, sometimes easily distracted. Has a lot of potential, she just needs to apply herself'. As I got older, teachers would often trot out 'You could be a straight-A student if you applied yourself' and my retort became 'or I could continue to put in no effort and still be in the top 5% of my year group'. Always buried in a book, in English class we would read the book we would be studied out loud as a class (THE WORST THING TO SIT THROUGH). I would read ahead so I finished the book before anyone else, then be reading my own book under the desk, I'd work out which page we would be own when it was my turn to read in advance so I could jump in and read my pages without anyone noticing I was doing my own thing the rest of the time. I was a 'gifted child' also. I've been assessed twice for AHHD and told I don't have it.

This and the disorganization got me caught in a 1-2. Fighting for my life xD

Yes, I was a good student but I made lots of "careless" mistakes, didn't understand how to direct my focus (seemed like overachieving to others) and was always told I could be so exceptional if I just tried a little and well, I tried my best and just never understood why I can't try harder I was just told I should try caring about school a little by paying more attention at class

Live footage of a conversation I had recently. 🤦🏽‍♀️

ohgod i had a whole 'i don't know' war with my mom and older sis(basically 2nd mom lol) for years, to the point where I couldn't say IDK as a response to anything. Caused an extreme emotional/physical withdrawal from my family for me that messed me with my overall emotional regulation reaaaal good. I wasn't able to have a good relationship with the two of them till I went to therapy and started to learn how my brain worked.

That is an absurdly unfair question. "What do you mean 'how did i forget'? How do you remember things?!?!"

I’ve had this exact conversation with my mom several times when I was a kid. She accused me of using “I don’t know” as a cop-out answer, and insisted I really DID know and didn’t want to tell her. It was very frustrating. And many of these conversations happened AFTER I was diagnosed. I don’t think she had a good understanding of ADHD when I was growing up and thought symptoms only included inattentiveness and hyperactivity, so she didn’t recognize all the other symptoms I had. I don’t think she meant to cause me so much harm, because she was a really great mom otherwise (and still is). But those kinds of comments were quite damaging to me, and my self-esteem has suffered greatly from it. At 29 I’m still trying to pick up the pieces. It sucks.

This is probably about 75% of the conversations I had with my parents growing up. I would get in trouble for forgetting, then for crying about being yelled at. I've developed a severe-and-getting-worse aversion to anyone being angry, especially men who yell.

Same 😅😢

This. The wasted potential speech still pisses me off in retrospect.

Could apply himself more was always in my school reports. It always came as a punch to the gut as I thought I had given everything I had, plus it made my parents talk to me about how I could do better which just made me feel ashamed and embarrassed. Also my older sister always did really well at school and made it hard as they expected me to be similar.

Omg this 😭

Ive misplaced my glasses and lost them about 8 times its a nightmare to keep buying glasses

I have purchased at least 8 complete exacto kits in the last decade. I cannot find a single one...

@@everyporism There are websites where you can prescription lenses super cheap (They're just basic plastic frames). I ended up just buying 20 pairs. Now whenever I put them down randomly and can't find them, I just pick up one of the 19 random ones sitting around the house.

Or re-buying things because you’ve forgotten you already bought them… My housemate pulled out some butter from the fridge the other day like “you’ve put this in the door pocket - be careful you’ll forget about it and buy ano-“ (notices the second new butter pack at the front of the fridge) “yup, there we go!” I’m glad to have a housemate that understands me and knows it’s ok to keep reminding me about stuff over and over 🥲

You could add “so hard” to that. Everything is such a struggle, and in the 60s, they treated it like a behavioral and even a moral failing. It was so painful.

@@bethmoore7722 I’m so grateful for Jessica and people like her making an effort for life to be less painful for this generation and the ones to come. My only hope is that there continues to be a growing compassion for people with disabilities who don’t know how to do any better than they are already doing.

I need this shirt so bad right now, so I don't have to repeat it to my mom a million more times

I would buy one too. 😎

Look for taylor swift merch. Its a song from folklore and its probably a shirt somewhere

❤

And I've always described my thought process as "Explosive" because it starts at one small point, then goes absolutely everywhere. And my college public speaking professor loved me for it, cause it meant I could put very shorthanded bullet points and still took up the expected time or more

Yes! In adulthood too! But ‘a place for everything, and everything in its place’ + trackers has helped me so much

Still dealing with this..I lost 2 phones this month, ear buds, chargers, wallet, etc etc

I’m better (not good, just better) at keeping track of things now, as an older adult, just by forming habits (over decades) about where I put things. As a kid I must have lost at least ten sweaters a school year. We didn’t have much money so, a new sweater was a big deal. Several times I lost a shoe during recess. ONE shoe!

That's why my purse and my keys are literally chained to my belt.

It's worse as an adult

Sooooo true. This is something I want my family and even my spouse to understand. Like I literally can't help it and I'm trying sooooo dang hard, so getting yelled at for it makes it even more difficult to be successful. Like each little thing I do complete is a victory for me

If only...

@@kendranieuwendorp5511 So relatable. What I hear a lot when I try to explain a symptom, is that it's an excuse.. or the "everyone has that **sometimes**".. But the struggle is real and it never goes away instead of suffering "**sometimes**". So instead of explaining the pattern and having the other recognize it so they can help, it ends up in discussions usually ending with the other saying "I just don't understand you/it, how can

@@Brandon-bc5um I agree 🥲 I’ve finally ditched my last nt friend and my family because I’m done with getting marginalised and judged on my adhd traits and never seen for the actual amazing progress I’m making - by now, if they won’t take the time to understand me better, I’ve realised that they probably never will and I’m hurting myself if I continue on with these relationships, so as much as it hurts right now, I feel like this is a key to unlocking a brighter future for me

@@autumn5852 hang in there 👍

Oh my god this was the one thing in the video that I didn’t think applied to me, but when you phrase it like that it’s exactly how I’ve always been.

"A friend from each circle." Me too. My son, doubly so.

Yes I was the same way in high-school

THIS!!! YESSSS! I always wanted to have a group of friends, but that has never been the case! I have tons of friends that ate scattered everywhere from different groups!

Same !! I'd never have thought it was because of ADHD ! I feel like a whole new version of my life has been offered to me, and in this one I am not "too much to keep around". What a change !

Mine is the opposite...I have the hardest time focusing to read. But I can get really into organizing and sorting things and easily lose track of time... So random I know

When I was a kid I always had my nose in a book. These days I struggle to find one that keeps my interest long enough to finish it.

Oh no. This is so me. The dishes were and still are the bane of my existence

I also lose time when hyperfocused on reading

same! my parents used to turn off the power to my room so I wouldn't spend the whole night reading, also I was not allowed a flashlight so I used my Nintendo DS as a light bc the battery lasted for ever xD

I'm 58yo and I often describe myself to others as "the classic under-achiever" because I have many skills and talents that are obvious, and yet have accomplished so little with them, because I can't organize my thoughts in order to get/stay on track and achieve goals.

Another ADD pianist🎉 I think I practiced 80% of the time by heart because getting the music sheets out of my bag was "too much effort" for some reason I still don't understand. And I still do this a lot😅

The hyperfocus when practising for hours on end helped a lot for music performance assessments or exams 😅

I never practiced until the day before my lessons, and it always turned out good😅 i have a very good feeling and needed some help from my teacher to make me stay focused on the music sheets. And then he always told me that i could play that part very nicely. Doesnt really help with the idea that i had to practice a lot more😅 but maybe it was alright like that.

Hey! Adhd guitarist that wants to learn piano here; you mind sharing some of those strategies, recommendations, or good starting points? I've tried self teaching from a book, and learning from online lessons and apps and I don't really find it stimulating enough to ever stick with long term..

​@@Jazz-nm1kf how long did it take you to learn guitar?

I am aware of time but i calculate what time it should take. Then wait - then have to force myself to do it or forget just before i should have

Especially being a gifted kid in school when you’re younger and so your teacher just excuses you not doing homework because you’re smart so when you actually have to do homework you’re kind of screwed

I could have written a reply almost identical to yours!

That bathroom thing.... I'm glad I'm not the only one who's body doesn't recognize literally any physical signals for anything when I'm hyper-focused on something.

At 70 I can tell you that the bathroom delay doesn’t go away; it just gets more dangerous! 😳

ZAP!! ZOOOM!! POW!!! CRASH!!! ZZZZZZZ!!!!

Either now or not.

This is literally me

I'm having that trouble with psychiatrists right now, like please stop being like 'we're canceling your apointment' for things that are very hard for us aghhh

+

😭😭😢😭🙌👏👏👏

Same

Yeah, totally relatable

Meeeeee

Mine, too. Clumsiness, talking constantly, constant jitteryness, eating to calm myself...

Same here

Samesies!!!

I was hyperactive. My life was cool.

Eyyy, my man, I feel your pain

I think a lot of the time it can prevent people learning study strategies when young

@@joejo4549 oh, absolutely, when you can't and don't need to study you never learn how to

Same. If I was of average intelligence, I don’t know what would have happened to me.

@@tropicaldisaster8135 Your school most likely has programs available to check in with. You no longer require your parents to take you seriously. You can adopt the responsibility for yourself! It's definitely hard. But don't wait for them to hear you to seek help.

I just did that yesterday. I hadn't sorted my paperwork since mid 2019. But I HAD TO do it right then. Took me not even two hours and the normal question would be... well, why didn't I do it sooner...

I have the same moments, I can literally feel my brain being different and know if I don't do it now and the feeling goes away I'll not get it done the next days/weeks

A friend of mine describes it as there being 2 times; now and never. That is why it is so hard when I have to tell my daughter with ADHD that she can have or do something later. I have learned how to phrase things better for her, but sometimes I forget.

I cried.

I needed to hear that so much!

That is so me, a social bumblebee :)

could not agree more very social bumble bees buzz buzz oh look something new great now i have 2 dozen new hobbies face palm

Exactly Stacy! I'm great at bringing people together and am seen as a social butterfly but it is not an accurate characterization. When I get home, I'm exhausted.

i like bumblebees :D they so fluffy :D

Same

...'could try harder' 🙄

I had the same story. But 40 years ago, there was essentially no one who understood it or could diagnose it. I'm surprised I made it through high school without losing my sanity.

I got the potential lecture directly from teachers... It was hard to watch them sincerely want me to be my best but not understand it would take involvement other than telling me to just do it...

I feel you. I literally had a teacher give me extra points because I made the exam 5 times and continued to get a low grade. I would study with a group but the second my mind wandered, I forgot everything.

I was the opposite. I could to the school work and get the grades, but the standardized tests were nearly impossible. I never had enough time and would only complete about half the questions. It wouldn’t take long for me to be bored out of my mind and find it extremely difficult to focus. The end of the ACT was just looking at graphs but I couldn’t even do it because I was so burnt out. They really think 1 5 min “break” is enough. This is why I absolutely hate the fact that the ACT and SAT are used as a way to show intelligence. What it really is is a way of showing who can go the longest without losing their mind.

Yep. At 30, I'm just now at the point of 100% sure myself I need to get tested for ADHD after not being sure what has been "wrong" with me my whole life. It is very reassuring to see you were diagnosed at 35 so there is still hope if I do have it, it will be noted. I just wish I hadn't missed so much time by not knowing because being "gifted" has gotten in the way of understanding or noticing my hindrances from the outside. But it's nice to know I may find an answer still

You are simply perfect just the way you are!

Wasted potential is for the dead. Think of it as if it's in queue, waiting to be unleashed. It's never too late to access your tools. ✌️

@@MrKeychange that is actually a really great way to put it, I like it and I’m stealing it! 😅

@@MrKeychange that's a cool way to look at it

This is my life!!!!

Same. We moved when I was 11, and I was 16 when I made some friends.

We moved to another country when I was 3. After that I thought nobody liked me a lot. I actually was surprised that in 1st grade I got an invitation to a birthday party, as I couldn't understand that it was for me too. I thought I was just shy.

Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria is a real thing !!! It helps me so much to know that it’s not ME - it’s a common response to complex trauma. You’re not alone.

Oooh, I really feel this one.

same i felt like my friends weren't really my friends in HS and often felt so left out when they did activities and didn't include me in them.

Wow, this is exactly me. Never done a dissertation without writing it first with a pencil

I prefer to type rather than write because my thoughts and sentences change so rapidly. Editing typed words is so much easier. The most I ever write at one time these days can be contained on a post it note

whats wrong with using a pencil?

@@Kris-wo4pj it's considered unrofessionnal, and you give the impression that the one whose going to read you doen't really matter. Pencil is NOT easy on the eyes to read.

I’m the same way, plus handwriting for me is insanely sloppy with pen vs pencil

😂👍🏽

My mom knew, she just didn't want me on pills because she doesn't trust them, so she never got me tested/ diagnosed.

Same. I can acknowledge that my parents had good intentions (and they did some things very right), but that doesn't change the fact that I struggled needlessly for most of my life and I'll probably be suffering the repercussions forever.

Yea going trough something similar right now it's completly understandable that feelings of anger resentment grief etc come up. There is a fantastic video on this channel about the five stages of grief of finding out later in life that you have adhd. The five stages of grief: denial anger bargaining depression acceptance. Haven't talked with my mum about it yet (she is a teacher and gave two recommendations for the parents of kids in her class that they have adhd and they did) but i guess it's harder to see in your own kids. I'm pretty certain my mum has adhd too ...the more i watch of this awesome channel the clearer my past and present actions/behaviours become understandble through the lens of adhd. It just feels great to finally understand myself. And to be more forgiving with myself.( my selfworth has definitly risen since) But of course there is quite a bit of resentment and anger that i hve to work trough. My mom is a waldorf teacher and is a bit alternativ so i understand why she didn't figure out she has it or that i and two of my 4 siblings prob. also have it. Btw i am 23 and apprenticing to become a farmer. It is interesting how many Neurotypical people are becoming conventional farmers and how many more neuro diverse people are on the organic and regenerativ farms. Well just had to get this out... hope this helpes with not feeling alone in this situation.

@@jeng6786 the movement of stopping kids from getting labels as kids did more harm than good in my case. I think an early diagnosis would have helped me so much. Now waiting to get tested at 24.

@@saal0 yea. I just got diagnosed and on my first try if pills at 26. I didn't know I had it.

Dr Barclay said," you don't have a problem knowing what to do, you have a problem doing what you know." That was an eye opener for me. That's when I knew that this guy knew what he was talking about.

I've been told my whole life that I have a motivation problem. Then, when I was in the process of finally being assessed properly to get a diagnosis, every single professional I spoke to told me "well, you're clearly HIGHLY motivated." I learned to explain that motivation doesn't connect to action for me. I think motivation and intention are two sides of a really weird coin, and my brain doesn't accept that form of currency..

I was told recently by an instructor that he had never met someone who had so many intentions and so little execution. Plans and dreams for days, but no way to put any of them in motion.

yeah I've watched that too and it really resonates!

I think "attention displacement disorder" would feel pretty accurate

I'm with you, friend. I'm in my mid-40s, undiagnosed, and considering people called me "gifted" and "lazy" in my youth, I eventually learned there was some kind of neurodivergence happening and learned to work with it. Until the last few years (I've always tried to pay attention to the way I go through my life) I never had any specific definition for it, but I'm certain it ADHD (I've never been well insured enough to explore it). As I realized it, I learned I could minimize the bad symptoms and optimize the super powers. I would always refuse dextroamphetamine (Adderall) and methylphenidate (Ritalin), so I'm gonna have to keep navigating on my own anyway. Some talk therapy with an expert would be nice though.

@geraldframinghammer2626 thanks friend. Right now I'm just looking for any help I can get.

@geraldframinghammer2626 I know what you mean about the super powers. I built my wife a whole new kitchen by hyperfocussing, but in two and a half years I haven't finished the last bit of crown molding!

It is possible to be diagnosed at our age. I was, but I’m so used to myself I declined medication. I have managed to have a reasonable life despite jumping from career to career - as soon as my interest waned even a little bit I lost the hyper focus and found each job unbearable. Even when having what I consider a dream job in my early 20s which I still regret leaving when I’m in a darker moment. So you might indeed be offered medication. I said no, too little too late for me. But everyone is different. If I was still miserable about it I might have gone for it but I’ve found other tools. Meditation, lots of therapy etc. The meditation was particularly hard but I stuck at it and now I can do the guided ones - and it helps. Even things like meditation and therapy change our brain chemistry so can (emphasis on can) be as effective as medication. I hope you get some serenity.

I wonder about being dx'd for ADHD, ASD, and other learning disabilities such as dyscalculia etc. I am not sure where I go. Will doctors dismiss my concerns because I have managed this far? I will be 60 in 2 weeks.

I am likely going to skip an opportunity to move up in my work because I can see myself struggling. I'm already struggling where I am for external reasons and the thought of not getting the job (rejection) or getting it and failing because I'm already having a hard time has shaken me up. I'm considering seeking a formal diagnosis because I have so many signs but have never been considered as having ADHD because I "do so well".

I was just diagnosed last year at 62. I’m really glad because it’s helped me understand my relationship problems, loneliness, and why my marriage struggled and finally fell apart last year. I take a mild dose of bupropion which has helped enormously. Now I can get through an entire hectic workday without feeling totally exhausted. There’s a lot of grief when you realize that things could’ve gone quite differently (better) if I’d known years sooner. But now I’m more forgiving of myself, and have a better idea of the life I want to live going forward. Take care!

I was diagnosed in my 40s, but some professionals deny the diagnosis because I wasn't formally diagnosed in childhood . Scary being denied treatment by such boneheads .

This is literally me to a T 😅

I have this with my whole house now as an adult. I admitted to my Aunt that I think I'm a good mum but I'm a terrible adult. Constantly overwhelmed

@@5Seed I completely relate! Now that my son's 12 (also has ADHD) we body double and complete tasks together, or talking to someone on the phone while I tidy up without even noticing is just as effective.

Oh and if I also have ADHD.... I recognize having done what you describe her when younger (today I belong to the 'grown ups' ugh) OR I would get rid of the school assignments right away (like... during the time between two classes: the 5 last minutes of current course and the 5 I should have used to walk to the other room.. but then rushed and ran into the other class just when the door was getting closed lol... (when possible) or during the breaks (since anyway i wans't part of any "group" playing so....

I've been on the Dean's List like 6 out of 8 terms in college but noone saw the tears, stress and panicking to complete an assignment within an hour of it being due because I couldn't make myself do the work earlier. I love the As and pretty letters telling me I'm doing great, but I hate everything I go through to get to that point.

That hit right in the feels.

Jeezz IT hurts remembering

Still makes me cry. I was recently diagnosed, in my 40s, and I think my diagnosis road is still not done. Reliving the trauma is tantamount to torture.

Very relatable. I feel like I am alway putting in twice the amount of effort to get similar results to others. Oftentimes, I get really positive feedback, but also negative comments (or marks taken off in school/uni) due to seemingly careless mistakes, even after spending all that extra time trying to get things right.

There's that J-word again!

This hits home and is still viable today. Only people i really "fit in" with are other people with ADHD and/or Aspergers.

And there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s not that YOU don’t fit in, it’s that others don’t fit in to your world.

Same! But for me, I didn't even notice. I wasn't paying attention to it. Go figure, I guess. 😅

Are you me?

!!! I was always so proud of getting 100% in an assignment or a test (pfft, it didn't happen very often) but now that I think about it, why did I think that 100% was the base minimum for achievement? Genuinely, anything less and I was like "Well... you screwed that up."

Ok, this articulates that issue so well, as an adult achievement actually can bring on a panic attack because I will now have this standard to uphold.

I can't upvote this comment enough. I'm 100% programmed to aim for perfect or it's automatically a failure. It also makes it that much harder to get started on things that are difficult, not interesting, not urgent, because I'm dreading every step of the process towards a most probable fail and disappointing myself and the people in my life. How do I even figure out how to reset my programming when I built mine since I was a toddler? 🤦

Exactly!!

Wow, this is so true! So many people say to me, you did it such and such a time, why can't you do it again?

I know when I was growing up, ADHD was still only something little boys had, so I try to keep that in mind when I get mad about this. But on the flip side, how many adults did I have in my life who watched me struggled in almost every aspect of my life and instead of saying "something is off here" decided the "nah, that's her fault" shaming was more appropriate than just figuring out how to support me? As you said, it's hard not to be mad.

Same...

When I was a kid ADHD was diagnosed as "punishment deficiency."

You're not alone

@@LittleHobbit13 dealing with that now lol, finally got my mom to take me to the doctor, but the only reason she's doing it is to prove me wrong and that I don't have it. (I literally have every single symptom of adhd and has had every single symptom since long before I was 12)

That was a great visual for me.

Bees, indeed! Here's an ironic take on bees that seems to apply here (credit to Karl Smallwood): 'So, around 80 years ago a scientists or mathematician of some sort made a rough, mistake filled calculation that claimed bees couldn’t fly. Fast forward almost a century and scientists today are still trying to erase that mistake from the public consciousness with increasingly complex experiments to prove the simple fact that bumblebees can, in fact, fly, and that this doesn’t violate any of our understanding of the laws of physics. The fact that they even had to bother doing this when they could have simply pointed out of the nearest window, with their palm firmly planted on their foreheads, at bees flying around, perhaps says a lot about the gullibility of our species.’

Agreed :)

I've been told by partners / close friends that I have a grasshopper mind, or a butterfly mind. Grasshopper because it jumps from subject to subject - butterfly because it flits from subject to subject. I have a huge variety of interests because of it, though.

I did this in school. My friend group was everywhere lmao

Are you generally disorganized like your room or study materials? some ADHDers lose a lot of things if they don't have a "spot" to always put them. You should look up videos on types of ADHD because there's several and some are obvious (the hyperactive ones usually) whilst the primarily inattentive ones are mostly hyperactive in their head, specifically their ability to focus for long periods on mundane things (this happens to hyperactive ones too they just have to cope with having crazy hyper amounts of energy).. the strictly.inattentive ones isually slip under the radar and are always told they're lazy, how.can you do x so well and smartly but.can't organize a binder for the life of you. Best of luck

My experience exactly.

This is my experience.

exactly what I've been going through till now

Why am I in this comment...

Same. My psychologist says I have both 🥺🥺🥺

I was a bumblebee too. Thankfully, I found my hive

This was such a good analogy. I relate to it in every way.

I came here for this comment :) and just Googled it to be sure, but butterflies are pollinators as well 🦋🐝. Loved the analogy!

@@estherbliek4734 Yes but bees are flower-loyal, which means they can have favorite flowers and that's why it hit me so hard

Yes!!!! I always feel like a spectator with friends, as opposed to being a part of the group.

Oooh the Venn diagram hits

same

I'll be your friend buddy

I found a friend group where it actually works but I kinda feel like the other two also have adhd and aren't diagnosed lol

In my 40s and still do.

Yeah, my mum always gets/got mad. “How can you forget to sleep!” “It’s not that hard to just put the book down”. She also got mad because I couldn’t sleep, theres 100 different thoughts zooming through my head each and every night and she’s like “just close your eyes and count” like I forget what number I’m on because I hit a certain number and a memory related to that number comes up and now I’m thinking about that.

Yes! Then I slept in class cuz that's when my body would shut down.

I do the same!

I am currently doing this by reading the comments on this video. I didn't watch the video because I told myself I need to sleep, so now I've been scrolling the comments for 10 minutes. I have a suspicion that I may relate to this video! I will watch it tomorrow

OH MY GOD I PAUSED THE VIDEO THINKING "I'M NOT EVEN LISTENING I'M READING THE COMMENTS" REALIZING I'M ACUALLY READING YOURS HIT HITTTT

Thanks for snapping me out of it hah

"I should watch this cuz I think I might have adhd but I could be faking it." *3 minutes in "Oh no"

Literally doing this right now!

Rewound 3 times so far…

LOL it's me I'm just like: (I relate 3/4 of this signs... Maybe... I have adhd?...) NO, I HAVEN'T, STOP SELF DIAGNOSING! (But maybe... I have....) NONONO I HAVEN'T >:( STOP TRYING TO BELIEVE... (:c Yea... Maybe I don't have... But.. I relate 3/4 of these signs) >:0 EVERYBODY HAVE THESE SIGNS [Yeah my mind is in a constant war because my parents don't want to send me to a psychiatrist to discover if i have it or not ._.]

@@henriquehaither7192 Right?? The self-diagnosing is my hang up too, because I don't want to be That Person™️

@@henriquehaither7192 I feel you. Sometimes i feel like I have ADHD, or anxienty, or even depression but I don't really know because I gust cant go to the doctor. I am 19, and its not my parents thing, but at the same time it is ( because in Russia there is a stigma against mental things, and even if my mum is ok w me seeing psycologist she freaked out when I talked about seeing psyciatrist JUST IN CASE, just because I want to be sure that I am ok and overrreacting ) The funniest part: my lil half-brother has some form of ADHD. So it is huge possibility that i have it too because even if we have different mothers, out father is the same person, with his own problens and a brother who is straight up hikkimori and sociofobic. So yeah.

@@henriquehaither7192 i have been called out

D o n ' t y a c a l l m e o u t l i k e t h a t

s a m e

This is literally me. It's exhausting

I’ve always been super disorganized, like a complete mess. I’ve literally gotten up in the middle of the night before with a serious urge to ‘find that thing I bought the other week why can’t I remember where I put it’ and in that moment it seems like the most important task in the world. Then when I have real, actually important things to do, I can’t bring myself to even start. Until of course it hits me an hour before the deadline. It’s like my brain can’t figure out what’s actually urgent and what’s not.

😭 Me too…it’s so overwhelming. My body can’t take the stress I put it through knowing I can be so much more organized and efficient.

@@gwynpeters6029 Agreed. 100% same boat.

How do i get tested or diagnosed ? I’m 22 and I’m just now realizing I think I have Adhd

@@swaqqerchic48 it varies greatly from country to country. I’m 22 myself and I switched doctor and then said I wanted to have a psyciatric evaluation. But there may be some information about your spesific country online.

I feel you, hang in there. For me the confirmation - after years of adulthood - was great. Though it didn't solve anything, and I'm still not sure I'm not a lazy bum who wastes her life, it is something with which to counter my own negative opinions.

I related so hard to your comment just now that I got choked up man. I wish you the best in your journey and that you find more support and help in life, you fully deserve it! (I'm in therapy and we have discussed many times how I need to get diagnosed and for some reason I always forget to call or even email the places.. I'ma get on that asap bc I'd like some relief 😮‍💨)

💚💚💚

I finished a project in science early and started reading my book and my teacher literally took it out of my hands and THREW it as HARD as he could across the room. Then I got in trouble for using my phone in school bc I called my mom and told her my teacher not only took my book for the weekend, but also BROKE it 🙃 mind you this wasn’t even a library book it was a brand new hard cover that belonged to my friend

This. I was lucky to have many teachers who supported me and let me just pull a book out after I was done with a test or random tasks. It wasn’t until I hit my teens that doing that became an issue for teachers… then I started drawing instead.

Yes this - shout out right back.

@@pussyslayer420 are y'all American??! because if so then your school system sounds very anti- education... reading is meant to be heavily encouraged !! smh

I know I made the comment. But it honestly makes me feel so much better knowing it wasn't just me. That there's nothing strange or wrong about using books in overstimulating situations. my teachers were just jerks encouraging bullying.

This was me. Up until grade 9, school was effortless. I didn’t study and got good grades. When school was a bit more challenging, I had no idea how to study and my grades plummeted

I was constantly told if I just did the homework and maybe applied my self just a little I’d get strait A’s, still pretty much got strait B’s yet a few subjects did bad yet was just completely uninterested like in history periods of time just didn’t care about almost failed and the others did well

Yet than in college was horrible couldn’t do the work outside the classroom

Same..

Good luck 🤞 you deserve to live life knowing your limitations and gifts without the hindrance of other's assumptions. Rock your life the way YOU were meant to.

Same here… words spoken by people who just don’t understand. 🙁🤷🏽‍♀️

Always… 🥴

I would be so mad omg

Face Palm! .. And fury

My older sister just tells me I need to try harder. We're in our 40s and she still doesn't get it.

This is 100% what I experienced too! Just got diagnosed at 28.

@@laurensova05 Congrats on your diagnosis! It certainly explained a lot for me.

Haha “the other day” is a permanent part of my vocabulary and it’s never the other day 😂

@@cocops8 Amen to that!

i think i might be twice exceptional too and every time i bring up adhd with my mom she says she'll consider it but i dont think she cares, she doesnt realze that it could affect my furture does she

“you’re always getting 100s on your tests so you clearly KNOW the work, how are you STILL failing my class?? I know you know how to do the work?!” My high school math teacher lecturing me for being able to show my knowledge on test days but failing in class because I never wanted to do my homework

My 10yr old daughter does the same thing. Ive been concerned with how she'll do in the future because of it. Your comment has given me more hope. Thank you

One day I show up to university exam, I don't have pen and asked around they neighbours didn't have so I found small tiny pencil pen head on floor and starting writing my exam, half way through the exam the professor came by and was looking in shock at me and give me pencil.

The problem is that they were expecting perfection from an imperfect person. That's always been the issue for me with school

@@imaspecialgirllalala Are you me?

SAME HERE but more with time management- i’m good at time management because i’ve been forced to work really hard to get good at time management or else i’ll never do anything

@@graceoartyo same.

Also don’t these people understand that, if you didn’t put so much effort into “organising” then getting things done is so hard?

If it helps DW!! I got called a slob by my mam for not 'cleaning' my room so hahah

I had a partner that was very OCD and I was yelled at a lot so I learned to be very very organized

I feel you. I'm 34 and finally took the step of seeking a professional diagnosis from a psychiatrist just this week, and she diagnosed me with ADD. I suspected I had this when I was 17, and the person who had a visceral reaction and immediately shot me down was my mom. I'm now waiting on the official scoring that comes with the diagnosis to see what level I'm at, and with that I hope to break this barrier of denial that my parents have since I brought it up 17 years ago.

@@thismissivemisfit Hey, good luck with that! I hope you get the support you need, even if it doesn't come from your mom!

A lot of the boomer generation refuses to believe in mental illness. They just chalk it up to attitude adjustments. They come from the end of war stricken para militaristic society where literally everyone was expected to just do as their told. You don’t question things, whatever an adult tells you, you do it and if you don’t, then you better grab the belt for your dad to straighten you out with. To have a mental disorder back then you needed to be someone who talked slow, or required a straight jacket.

That has to be so hard. The quickest way to rile me up is to insinuate that ADHD isn't real and I'm just not trying hard enough. We try so very hard, and it's so hurtful when we're accused of the opposite. I hope your mom comes around, but know that you're not making anything up and your struggles are valid. I hope your new diagnosis provides freedom through being better able to understand yourself and the way you work.

My gosh bro what on earth that’s literally my situation except I have a problem with the green need to quit but it’s hard cause it stimulates my mind and nicotine too