The ONE Secret That Makes Letting Go EASY AF

  Рет қаралды 3,723

Andrew Vanhoff

Andrew Vanhoff

Күн бұрын

In this video I share the secret that makes letting go EASY!
By understanding the nature of our tendency to cling to things in the first place, we can free ourselves of so many past patterns and habits that are no longer serving our best interests.
The truth is, we have no choice BUT to let go. Because what we're actually clinging to is a memory, or an imaginary image. Letting go is about bringing your psyche up to date with reality, and allowing reality to be as it is without resisting it.

Пікірлер: 13
@alarichobbs9136
@alarichobbs9136 8 ай бұрын
I have had therapy for nearly 7 years and discuss this often. This has been helpful. Thank you.
@yuyi4342
@yuyi4342 8 ай бұрын
You put into words the concept I've been trying to grasp and understand for the past few weeks. Super helpful and detailed explanation ❤
@omerfirer1312
@omerfirer1312 Күн бұрын
the thing that is currently making it hard for me to let go from her is the fact that im still attracted to her, as much as i did when we were together if not more, being attracted to someone i cant pursue is hard for me
@destinyforreal9744
@destinyforreal9744 8 ай бұрын
This is a good video!
@williamdepa3570
@williamdepa3570 7 ай бұрын
I have watched 1000 of videos you seem to speak in a way that is more tangible
@bdfwhhsb
@bdfwhhsb 8 ай бұрын
I’m curious as to what you thought of Michael singers book ‘the untethered soul’ he spoke a lot about this concept
@andrewvanhoff
@andrewvanhoff 8 ай бұрын
Love it! I've read that and his newer book, Living Untethered. Michael Singer is one of my favorite sources of inspiration! For anybody who is interested, he has some awesome talks for free on his website, tou.org and they put out new ones every few days! I'd highly recommend them to anybody interested in going deeper into this kind of stuff
@jamesshielssoberlife.3701
@jamesshielssoberlife.3701 4 ай бұрын
You have got to let go.
@DAClub-uf3br
@DAClub-uf3br 8 ай бұрын
My story is about fear and is 50 years old. I can't let it go i can't even pin it down. How do you determine what you are holding onto?
@andrewvanhoff
@andrewvanhoff 8 ай бұрын
Great question! Specifically for fear in my own life, the most transformative thing I've learned is to watch my own fear as a sensation. When watching the sensation itself, you can sort of separate your mind's catastrophizing and imagination from the physical sensation of fear itself. What happens is we first feel an uncomfortable sensation, then we label it as fear, and then we start reacting to the label of "fear" - what am I supposed to do about this fear? How am I going to make it go away? This is sort of the same thing as the split I talk about in the video between what's actually happening and our interpretation, right? The physical sensation of fear is a completely different experience to the mental side of things. The brain perceives the physical sensation as something to avoid, to get away from, and then the mind floods with panic and anxiety about all of the things you need to do or could possibly do or might work in order to stop feeling the sensation. So that's what I would suggest in terms of working with fear in general, to pay attention to the separation between the physical sensation and the overwhelming mental story attached to it. In regards to determining what you're holding on to, I find that generally, life shows you pretty consistently if you pay attention. I try to keep the mindset that the things that scare me or make me feel insecure, generally those things are pointing to an area I need to work on. So I'd suggest looking for signs in your environment. What do you find yourself avoiding or ignoring? Where are the areas you close yourself off? What are the things that trigger you most? Typically, those places are where we've got some pent-up judgment or resentment or an old story that's running our lives. One final thing I've noticed in myself is that letting go of fear can be a procrastination method. I spent quite a while trying to let go of my fear of things and I've realized that in a way, when you do that you give the fear even more power. When you decide that you need go let go of the fear in order to move forward, you've given away your power to the fear, as it's now the condition that's controlling your life. I could tell myself I was making progress by letting go of my fear of doing things, but I was still avoiding the things while I "did the work" of letting go. Most of the biggest breakthroughs I've made with fear in my life have been a result of just doing the thing anyway. Because then you can see first hand the disconnect between your story about what's going to happen and how bad it might be and how you could never cope, and then the reality of what happens is ALWAYS different. Even if things go wrong, it's never the same way or in the same catastrophic sense that I'd imagined it would be. But when your brain is trying to solve imagined problems, you're stuck. When you're trying to solve your fears ahead of time, you're trapped because there are infinite imaginable problems and infinite imaginable solutions. So in summary, I'd say to focus on the sensations associated with fear as opposed to the mental interpretation of "fear" and what that "means", maybe doing some soul searching as to the things that trigger you most in life or that you avoid the most in order go determine sort of the core of your fear, and then finally to maybe give yourself permission to face your fears even if you don't know how things will turn out. Give yourself permission to try facing your fear and for everything to go wrong, and you to still be okay with it. If you can give yourself internal permission that you win by TRYING, you can start to short circuit that process that tells you things will be terrible unless a specific result happens. When we're so results focused, everything is scary because it HAS to be a certain way or we're not doing it "right". See if you can give yourself permission to just "do it" and the action itself to be the win. I found that helpful with my current trip to Thailand. I decided that I could see it as a successful trip even if everything went wrong and I lost all my money. Because the trip itself was the challenge. Not figuring out the perfect way to do it, but just doing it. I hope there's a few words in there that might inspire you or ring true for you! Feel free to take whatever feels right and leave the rest! Best wishes on the journey to freeing yourself!
@destinyforreal9744
@destinyforreal9744 8 ай бұрын
I could be your new person hehe
@artbyjero
@artbyjero 8 ай бұрын
dude this is youtube
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