Censorship?

well said!!

This is such a great comment, thank you for putting it that way!

Very well put. I shouldn't despise writing personal statements or doing job interviews but I do because it feels so inauthentic

Good take

Wow, thanks for sharing.

At that young age how many people really have gone thru deep negative experiences that calls for great resilience & from which they have gained great insights into life situations?

Nothing cheapens trauma like everyone having to market their trauma hoping it is enough to beat out other candidates who are also doing the same.

Same here, I couldn’t bare my trauma during high school to write about it and I got rejected for seeming “normal” and not talking about my trauma. Such a dumb process.

@@chazzitz-wh4ly yeah you hit the nail on the head

i know right! I've done the UK version of this process and simply wrote about my academic passion, its seems so oddly unrelated to talk about trauma

I'm from Canada (same as her) and I find this weird too! I'm from Ontario and not British Columbia but I don't know, none of the universities here seemed to require any essays.... Definately a weird phenomenon, one I thought was just American.

I’m American and about to apply to a university in Wales. The representative I spoke to about apply specifically told me to avoid giving some philosophical essay about my struggles. Instead I should focus on why I chose to study in Wales and what I as an individual can add to the school/community

@@kayzeaza oh for sure yeah, the advice I got was 80% academic and 20% personal. Its still about you, but in a professional academic capacity.

Luckily the essay is completely optional. I always tell teens to not submit an essay.

So true. The admissions just want to only accept the traumatized even if it is a fabricated story. Just an appeal to pathos I guess I should start making myself look pitiful in front of admissions to get into my future studies lol

@@okwatever3582 It is how they allow the unqualified, not-very-smart students into their universities because there is no other way they could get in.

I have no experience with admissions but that's not entirely accurate according to the talk. It is dubious and untestable whether or not trauma dumping correlates with higher acceptance rates, but advisors still nonetheless push for students to write them, and colleges don't adequately inform students and advisors that it's a treacherous topic. We can say it's bad that students are pushed into writing oversimplified stories about sensitive topics, we can say it's probably a bad way to judge a student, but you can't single out admissions as the sole reason this is happening (at least not anymore).

Don't forget about the rote-memorisation that we test through exams. Because apparently remembering keywords and learning exam technique is prioritised over actually understanding the topic.

If you don't have anything to trauma dump by the time you're applying for grad school you're doing something wrong (jk)

That's actually an interesting point - could it be that the universities are precisely looking for these kinds of "lucky" students because they are the ones that they think stand out? Schools are looking for the best students, no matter how you define "best" to be. Maybe they think a student has, as you said, a)been through something challenging and b)conquered it are "better" and therefore should be selected over a normal student that typically pursues his/her interests?

@@leelaindingold6917 Hmmm, that is something to think on...

​​@@leelaindingold6917 On one hand is a person who has shown resilience in handling a victim situation. On the other there's a person who has achievements & aspirations plus varied experiences that helped them shape these. On a one to one option who should be considered?

I remember attending college for theatre years ago and one day our teacher confessed that she found it challenging teaching us because we had not been "through" anything yet. Our life experience in relationships to playing many of the characters in specific plays was limited. We had attended prom or had our first date or breakup, but had not yet "lived" through several aspects of life enough to make us well-rounded actors who have experiences to draw upon. It was an interesting revelation from a teacher who was paid to teach you, but was also compelled to express her honest opinion.

Absolutely! I haven't experienced something traumatic or challenging in such a dramatic way that I could write about it. I was thinking about what I have overcome but really life is just ongoing and i have been fortunate to not have had to "go through something". And aspects that some people think would be significant just don't bother me and would be inauthentic to say it was something in need of overcoming or working through. just strange to think that you are expected to have had dramatic or highly emotional things happen and be dealt with in your life by 17/18.

I actually don't quite understand - what harm does that actually do? The university ignores that, but the students don't - I don't quite understand what Tina is trying to convey here TBH.

​@@leelaindingold6917 Shouldn't the Uni consider aspirations, achievements & diverse experiences of a person that adds meaning to the person overall + reflects who they are & can be ? That would be a forward looking approach. Negative experiences are personal & should be left to family, friends & therapists . Besides, just because a person has shown resilience in one situation in life does not necessarily mean they will be the same in almost all life situations.

@@altmosetz_01 Indeed they should. I was trying to comprehend why universities like trauma essays - so I came up with the explanation that they believe experiences like these are a good selection criteria for "good students". Come to think of it though, I think another reason trauma essays are so useful is because they are a rather good indication of "goodness" in a student when this student has no external merits. This is helpful when deciding which students of low socioeconomic status to admit, since these students have less access to the things you mentioned (aspirations, achievements, diverse experiences).

​@@leelaindingold6917 that not everything happens for a reason, not all trauma was good for us. By perpetuating this narrative, we pressure actual victims into feeling like they should be glad about they're trauma when they don't

@@syawkcab It's not about being glad about your traumua, it's about the fact that resentment and feeling into a place of anger destroys you as individual. For many people, meaningless tramua is much harder to wrap your head around.

Did she get into a good college?

nah she’s lucky

@@andreaweber8059 Well, yes, that she did, a college with a Name that always opens doors in life. (Not Harvard! But a top-ten university all the same.) It was almost foreordained, almost predestined from birth, that despite her lack of any trauma that wasn't laughably small, she was the kind of blue-chip kid who would "slot in" at the school she eventually chose or some other place like it. She graduated and went straight to work in investment banking on Wall Street. Perfect, just perfect.... I mean, she didn't ASK to be born smart, white, well-off, and well-coached, but since that was her fate in life, she had to make the best of it, right? LOL

@@anthonypearsall5851 you will be surprised how many mediocre-intelligence people get into top tier universities just because they went to high school in the "right" zip code... she may have been born well-off and well-coached, but that is no evidence of her being born smart... I know this because I went to both Princeton and Penn (UPenn), and seen first hand the intellectual capabilities of the average student from the background you have outlined

@@anthonypearsall5851 it’s not necessarily a bad thing, she can’t control where she was born but to make up for it she could talk about how she used her privilege to help or impact others

This is the true tragedy in this nonsense practice. It's done by people in admissions who need to feel like a savior that they made this judgement and enormous difference. They can't fathom the bleak worthlessness, the constant panic attacks, the hyper awareness, and trust issues that arise from most traumas. You shouldn't have to open up about trauma unless it's to a professional you trust or you're doing it for awareness and helping other people overcome has always been my take on this stuff. All the admissions stuff I have sat in on have been for higher education or professional college multi-interviews and that is a whole other adult sitting in front of me. I am not anywhere near qualified nor trained to unpack trauma so I don't .

It is like every conversation in life; you can't just dump your deepest thoughts and worries to whatever person you meet in life; you have to strategically choose what to share and what not to share depending on the person and the situation to foster the strongest and most rewarding bonds with others. The same is true for college admissions. There is nothing inherently problematic with cherrypicking a fitting story to tell, as long as it is authentic. Although with everyone lying in their essays, you feel pressured into also lying and fabricating stories that paint yourself in a better light. But that in itself has nothing to do with this genre of admission essays. Whatever genre you are writing, this peer pressure always exists.

​@@haomingli6175 Just because this pressure exists everywhere else doesn't mean it doesn't need to be addressed or modified. I see that you've made multiple comments on this thread and I see where you're coming from. I agree with some of your points, I don't feel that this should be done away with completely. But the way the questions are worded in applications ("share something that has affected you greatly" or something like that) can feel heartwrenching because people don't want to lie. People don't want to fake themselves and cherry pick stuff that didn't actually affect them as great as what they actually went through, and if cherrypicking is encouraged, then colleges should be honest and state that they're not looking to see who *you* are, but rather an instagrammable photo of you, if you will. The whole point is that people should not have to blatantly lie and present a self that they feel disconnected from

This was my issue. I was also still actively living my trauma, so there was no happy ending. I don't remember what I wrote about, but I know it wasn't raising my sisters after my parents divorce while dealing with PTSD (which was undiagnosed at the time anyhow). Honestly I'm not sure how I managed to accomplish as much as I did in high school when I look back.

⁠@@haomingli6175 As a notorious oversharer I somewhat disagree. Being very open and vulnerable is definitely not always the best thing. You obviously have to be careful if there are things that could be used against you. There is also a chance that you make people uncomfortable for example by talking about subjects that trigger them, but this can mostly be avoided by trying to read social cues or simply asking whether it is okay/the other person is comfortable with it. I made the experience that it can(!!) be really bonding and many times it makes the other person feel more comfortable to share as well. I think people would be honest about their struggles way more if they felt like it was safe and welcome to do so and just doing that can be like an invitation for others to do the same

Trauma stories are a stupid way to determine who gets into college.

​@@John.Flower.Productions and finally it doesn't matter what race you are, human beings are inherently trash for the most part

@@John.Flower.Productions Being descended from people who "worked/sacrificed to build these nations" has little bearing on your own character or work ethic. Just as you are not responsible for the sins of your forefathers, you neither deserve their songs and praises.

@@John.Flower.Productions such as who? The Chinese who were forced to work on the railroads in the west, the africans who were enslaved, the native Americans who were pushed from theirlands and stripped of their culture, the latinos who are hired for cheap labor, the filipinos who jump started labor rights for farm workers? And the many more people who are Americans that contributed to the society as a whole. Who exactly owns trauma?

​@@lenaramoon4617 Irish slaves famously built American railroads aside the Chinese, too.

The obvious solution is to stop writing about trauma. Straight up just say “students please write about your passions and not trauma essays”

Do you have a link for the article? I already tried looking for the article but couldn't find it.

Trauma dumping is endemic to comments sections. It’s not just trauma dumping, but sympathy fraud. It causes people, especially women, to feel sympathy and worse yet, to feel obligated to publicly gush sympathy in an escalating spiral of virtue signaling. It’s part of the feminization of America. Eliciting sympathy becomes who you are, which of course has mental health implications. Because men do not “share trauma” like women, it obviously favors women and feminizes men who know they must have a trauma story to keep pace. It’s a manipulative race to the bottom of the brain stem that substitutes for actual academic or human potential. 😢

@@John.Flower.Productions I'm not sure about this. The racial group that low-acceptance rate universities have to reject the most due to race is Asians. As a demographic, they need the highest SAT scores to get accepted, compared to whites, latinos , blacks

@@John.Flower.Productions so you think American Indians shouldn't get scholarships after having been slaughtered and having their land taken away?

its not that they don't want him. its the fact that there are probably tons of other people equally as qualified as he is, but his name just was not drawn from the hat. esp since 100k+ ppl are applying to unis nowadays

For top universities, you have to be CRAZY ambitious to get in. Every good university student worth their salt now has good grades, loads of volunteer hours and a track of extracurriculars. You have to stand out to get accepted to the top.

Many universities (especially top since they have super heavy workload) want to know that the person can deal with difficulties, because they don’t want people to drop out after first exam session. So they just want to know that your every success wasn’t easy thing for you. But I completely agree, that forcing people to talk about their trauma isn’t helpful. Also, I talked with the recruiter from top 20 university in the world and he said that the point of this essays is to show that you are able communicate with other students. Maybe, in his essays they saw some traits that on their opinion would interfere with effective communication 🤷‍♀️

Understand that these schools are incredibly selective for a reason, despite having all of these attributes it is still hard to get in. Also it depends on the specific program, for example if he were to apply for a history major at Stanford that may be “easier” than computer science for example. I hope he’s doing alright and just know that the academic institution is only one part of the equation, he’s going to be successful regardless of his alma mater. Also not to mention he can always try to transfer over if he really thinks it is worth it later. Entering these prestigious schools as a transfer student is considerably easier compared to entering from HS. Best of luck.

Applications to the elite colleges jumped by about 20,000 when they went "test-optional" because of COVID, but no extra spots were made available. Acceptance rates dropped to below 3 or 4% for the Ivies, Stanford, etc. It's not that the colleges would not want someone like your son -- it's that at some point it becomes a bit of a lottery. If only one application can be picked from every 30-35 applications, and 90% of the applicants are students with stats similar to your son, then what can any one student expect? Students and parents need to get more realistic about college applications and remember that you don't need an Ivy League name to have a great educational experience. A trauma essay would not have magically gotten him accepted. College admissions officers are NOT asking for trauma essays, but they're certainly getting them.

The book Freakonomics comes to mind. I bet many of the essays where fiction as if that was merit. The process sucks because in most cases, it's not related to the field of study or a person's ability to it.

​@@gejost Yeah I wouldn't doubt it if some of them were at least embellished some. I don't remember much of the details from the essays as it has been 4 years, but they ranged from the immigrant story to cancer to family issues, and there was even one or two talking about abuse. The students are choosing to write about these topics already shows the flaws in the system, and they should never feel like they have to further dramatize the stories.

Honestly, as someone who hasn't had to write a college application in over 10 years, that still resonated with me. One of my parents passed away when I was young, but I never talked about that in application essays, because there wasn't some nice neat narrative about how that experience made me into the person I am today and I still couldn't tell you how, if at all, it affected my performance as a college student. I get colleges want students with the ability to be introspective but it seems like it favors students who lives would make a good coming of age novel, not necessarily students who would are emotionally mature and will do well in college.

well if they accept them to a university then they actually are doing something.

@@videovoidtv He said doing nothing about it, meaning nothing about addressing the trauma and working through it. At best you could say they can use university services to get therapy, but of course most of the people getting into a decent college can probably do that anyway. Just admitting them to the school is not the kind of action the original poster was talking about though.

Academics and researchers will wax poetic about how certain people are marginalized and disenfranchised, and then go to dinner parties where they talk about how they got their work published in some journal while eating cheese on toothpicks and drinking wine.

I agree. I remember taking a creative writing class and got so uncomfortable with the way our professor wanted us to disclose our traumas to her and the class so we'll be able to write from them. I wanted to write a different story based on my life, but she just wanted us to focus on the traumatic details more.

It's not always a problem that needs to be fixed. It's often time, just a reason for some characteristics.

THIS!

This comment confusingly implies that education at a prestigious liberal arts university or prestigious research university or literally colleges in general is the same thing as education period and completely missed the point of multiple aspects of the argument made. The argument is not that no one should have to justify entry into such an institution, it's that such a justification should some legitimate metric rather right by circumstances.

@@basicallyalandershowitz no. the argument is that no one should have to beg for a quality stimulating education that surely teaches the value in understanding bias and supporting truth and science, in the united states of america. period.

@@timallison8560 Never have to beg to go to a community college. period.

@@joeybasile1572 What job can you get with a community college degree?

Sorry to hear about that. Your hs guidance counselor should have advised you to look at some safety schools. You can use this as motivation. Perhaps start at cc, do amazing, save some $ and then apply to that “dream” school as a transfer student.

@@damonmusha6504 how do you know they didn’t apply to “safety” schools? They said they got rejected from every school they applied to. Even so called “safety” schools reject applicants.

@@damonmusha6504yes, I would second going the CC route as someone who’s doing just that. Now I’m transferring to my dream school and saving about 80k in the process.

This is my exact same situation. First gen closeted gay who went through some stuff i could genuinely write a story on, and I couldnt get in. There was only one essay where i talked about my medical conditions and struggles because it was actually relevant to what fuelled my passion for the field. And that essay got me a scholarship. Its completely turned me off from what scholarships and these admissions were really about

It's not worth it. These "prestigious" universities will never have your best interests at heart.

Gosh! Just my opinion, but you should consider framing your personal essay exactly as you did this post.

@@embrio. nah their changes will just decrease. Universitys dont care about the truth. They just want to hear the saddest sob story

broooo why did I go “lucky🍀” 💀💀😭😭 I hate this

I got sick in my junior year of college, but I find myself having similar thoughts about when I graduate in a month. It's like I'm mourning the person I used to be, along with the person I could've been. I won't be able to hide the truth of my illness and how it will affect my capabilities when I'm applying to jobs, but I'm not in a place when I can say I've "gotten through it" or "learned a valuable lesson" to convince a company that I have value. I'm still sick, and it still sucks. There's a difference between "perseverance" and "survival", and I shouldn't need to make up some bullshit "silver lining" or lesson about the latter just so it can be exploited by capitalism.

Good luck with the treatment my man, you got this!

It looks like oppression olympics even to people that did not have very normal and healthy upbringing. It looks like some weird clout chase and I say that as someone that did not have a very normal and healthy upbringing.

So, a pissing contest.

@@chazzitz-wh4ly like the saddest pissing contest. Who wants to win a competition for the shittiest upbringing/factors you couldn’t control? A lot of people if it means a better future.

This type of thing is a double edged sword. It's important to recognize that achievements under much worse conditions are more impressive than those same achievements under easy conditions. This is why someone 5-8 dunking is more impressive than someone who is 6-8. The amount of work and dedication required is (on average) very different, and essays showcase that sort of stuff, beyond GPA, etc.

@Antimatter Pill "My parents suck... the end..."

That's incredible. I wanted to write about how pokemon changed my life but now I have to write about my experiences as a first generation half asian person. This is very irritating.

Your essay sounds like it was cool but i think you should have bern admitted and your other points, which were also fine, apparently. Essays based on life experiences are likely to be fiction and basically amounts to some random oerson judging people based on whatever life experiences they have.

@@AmyLazer Friend, write about Pokemon. Our generations write about video games the way older people write about books. They are experiencial art.

@@gejost Dont go so deep. We dont need any more hyper sensitive analysists of anectdotes.

@@mkadoza the problem is university atp are businesses and do not care about the students' passions or interests. they care about being able to market your trauma and claim so they can claim that they're inclusive

This is the way

And that going against the grain should have made your essays a unique breath of fresh air to the admissions staff. Well done on your part.

[extra]*curriculars

Doesn't that show that trauma based essays are ok? For people that don't have trauma or absolutely refuse to talk about it, there's still plenty of opportunity to get in selective colleges through academic prowess. I think it's great that the essay gives disadvantaged students a chance to explain why their grades might've dipped during a year, or why they couldn't join a club or two. It's definitely not perfect and is open to lying and trauma marketing, but it's better than no chance for explanation at all.

Easy to say for a minority that benefits significantly from affirmative action...

The system of progression we live under categorizes those who don't "overcome" their trauma in a timely manner as failures. Even when there are individual professors/employers who encourage you to prioritize your health; the larger educational/occupational structures only allow them to have so much empathy. If you don't become sufficiently productive within a timeframe that the systems determine to be acceptable (from their apathetic and profit-oriented perspective); you are worthless. It's fucked

@@Leviathan1216 this!!!!

@@Leviathan1216 There is no avoiding that the best colleges will want the best applicants. You better demonstrate greater capabilities in overcoming difficulties than others to stand a chance in the admission process. If you don't like this, there are plenty of colleges that are far less selective and you can get in easily, without spending all this effort.

@@haomingli6175 But someone who rushed their healing process and believes they're totally okay now (even if they aren't) isn't inherently better, or more likely to do better at school. The schools have no way of verifying if the person is really "over it" and won't struggle. And knowing that 1. resolving something traumatic at such a young age is less likely than them still working through it and 2. they are putting them in a situation that incentivizes them to lie or misrepresent their journey and their healing, any school believing and even encouraging these narratives of 'I went through horrible trauma and bounced back' is disingenuous and misguided in any attempts to sort out who has 'completely recovered'. It's difficult to see how this could possibly result in consistently better applicants who reliably have "great capabilities in overcoming difficulties".

I'm from the UK and I feel like our system is flawed but much more straightforward. For me, it was a case of doing a little research into the subject I had applied to study, throwing in some basic achievements and one or two hobbies, and making it seem professional. It felt more relevant to me. Like you say, how can you have both trauma and perfect grades? The US system strongly encourages you to lie, whereas the UK system rewards genuine subject interest more.

Yep, everyone wants to be a victim nowadays.

I wouldn’t call it trauma telling, but the victim mentality. Who will win the victim parade but the one who claims to have suffered the most. What we need to work on is our stories of overcoming traumas to conquer this victimhood

Bottomline- Peddle your worst experiencs for important gains. Your aspirations & achievements that should define who you are & the possibilities for your future are not of importance . Aspirations & achievements make a confident you. Worst experiences crack the confidence and are a reminder of being victimised/ of suffering.

​@@magnetotwister you're missing the point. That's exactly what these common essays are about. Stories of people overcoming trauma. Even if they haven't

@@magnetotwister wtf dude that’s literally the opposite of what she was saying in the video. Trauma is continual. Past trauma still affects us; we can still experience traumatizing encounters in the present and future. It never goes away. Universities are creating a toxic environment by assuming that everyone already has their trauma sorted out or that something good can be gained from it, when in reality, sometimes we’re still struggling with it. Sometimes we don’t learn anything good from it. It’s important that we as a society recognize that. We shouldn’t avoid the topic of personal trauma altogether, but we should stop turning it into a contest or some sort of lesson to be learned.

I don't think the education is why students are there any more, really. A relative is applying for colleges and we're shocked. The trade schools are still... schools, but the universities only talk about "the college experience". Lots of talk about parties and sports, very little focus on academics. I'm not saying they don't also provide an education to the willing, but even twenty years ago it was starting in this direction. It's so damn expensive because the universities feel the need to add so much overhead. I'm glad I didn't end up in Academia.

Even that might be a misstep exactly because of what you said - that is why you are going. It's normal that 17-18 year old students don't always have the most groundbreaking ideas, and we're asking for competency when we should be asking for curiosity.

Have you considered the possibility that the practice of medicine is actually harder than med school and that med school serves as a filter to ensure licensed doctors are capable of the job?

Med school is not ableist. If your disabilities prevent you from doing the required work that is pertinent. When you graduate people’s lives will literally depend on you, and it is not your patients’ duty to make allowances for you, especially if it might jeopardize their health.

@@a.wadderphiltyr1559 As a general point, something bad happening to you does not mean that you are owed something good. Not everything can be compensated. Furthermore, claiming something bad happened to you is a lot easier than achieving something good, so if you operate under this logic, you give a huge incentive for people to spend time and energy focusing on grievances in order to get ahead, and taking spots from achievers, instead of competition on the basis of genuinely beneficial merit. If we give up on meritocracy, we are doomed.

@@hematose I agree with this in general, but in the case of college admissions "rewarding" trauma to some extent is necessary. Low-income and non-white students are much more likely to experience trauma that impacts their academic performances. If they were able to work past that trauma and do well (though not as well as other privileged students), they should have a chance to explain that in the essay and remain in the pool. Reasoning: 1) They've shown that they're strong people that can bounce back from trauma, 2) these experiences are less and less likely to reoccur through and post-college.

Med school is 1000% ableist, and federal institutions are just starting to look into that fact since COVID. Ignore those saying otherwise in the comments. Your reasonable accommodations are not going to kill anyone either, despite what one of these replies says 🙄 We need more doctors from all walks of life to improve treatment outcomes for everyone. Hang in there if you can; the medical industry will be lucky to have you.

I love this 🤣

Same here

same here when i wrote about getting tendonitis/carpal tunnel in high school (it can affect how you do basic tasks) and that i'm not recovered from it i'm still persevering with my hobbies but am wiser now to know how to deal with it and not make it worse (this was for a UC application where it was just one of many mini essays i wrote T_T)

I feel you too honestly I think everyone that is in uni needs to speak about how terrible it was to write about our stories. I still got into uni just later since I went to community college.

Same. Even worse is that part where you ask yourself "Hmm is this trauma too common for colleges to care about? What can I say to get more sympathy points instead?"

@@krishp1104 Exactly. It feels like someone saying, “Your trauma isn’t good enough”

100%

the fact that this is some kind of weird kink or something the older generations have grosses me out. How can you do something like that to the next generation? Everything I've had to experience is things i protect my juniors from. Revenge isn't meant to be enacted on the innocent

Don’t feel bad about it. If you don’t want to use that story again in your applications, then you shouldn’t. There’s no reason it should hang over your head forever. A big point of the video was that no one has it all figured out, especially before you’re even out of high school. The college application is just a means to and end. It’s not about defining who you are. There’s a lot to learn, and you’ll see that once you’re there. I don’t want to sound like a self help guru, but don’t wallow in self-pity. Appreciate your achievements. And remember growing as a person is always in your control. Congrats on getting accepted!

Well said. Also don’t forget that it’s the system that coerces you into writing such an essay. Can’t really blame the applicants for playing the game

Don't feel bad about it at all. Think of it as though you used your difficult past as a stepping stone during the application process or making lemonade out of the horrible sour lemons that life threw at you. Congratulations. 🎉 All the best!

You should never feel bad for getting into your dream school and surviving a difficult home life. This trauma essay or adverse experience universities ask you about in your admissions process was added for a reason. Life does not give every individual the same opportunities. Every single person applying to that university has had their own experiences growing. Some are likely more fortunate to have been born into a certain family who had the financial resources to help their children succeed. I personally don't believe that trauma can or should be judged and compared. Sadly, we all face difficulties in our lives. And I'm sure we have all learned by the amount of celebrity suicides that having money, fame, observatory success doesn't mean happiness or an easy life. I know my upbringing is very far from the norm or maybe it's more common for someone born and raised in the hood. When I say common please understand that I am referring more so to the knowledge of it rather than it being a common upbringing for every family in the hood. It's not. Not every family in the hood uses public assistance to buy food for the family. Not every family has an addict for a parent. Not every family experiences physical, emotional, psychological, sexual, or verbal abuse in their homes. I got a little side tracked there. But, from personal experience, the traumas I faced growing up are foreign to some people and relatable or known to others. I don't know why this example is coming to mind, but in middle school I recall breaking down one day to my best friends. I bottled up my emotions growing up and I hardly ever shed a tear in front of another person. As an adult I've learned to understand my feelings a bit more now but I do still have trouble crying in front of others. At least now I don't see crying as a sign of weakness but growing up it was. You can't show fear or weakness to some people in certain hoods or you would be targeted. Anyway, I got emotional to my best friends in 7th or 8th grade because I had been robbed at gunpoint walking to school. I told no one of course because back then I felt like anything bad happening to me was my fault. I was running late to school that day because my mom actually gave us money. It was $10. The most money she had given me in a long time. I could finally buy snacks after school with my friends or a soft pretzel at school. I was too happy and excited walking to school thinking about the possibilities. And because of that, I must have made myself a target. I was more ashamed than scared at the time. I told no one for a long time. I just walked to and from school in different ways. Always trying to avoid the area I was robbed at and trying to change my course frequently. After telling my friends, they comforted me. Honestly, writing this now has made me remember how f**ked up that was for me to experience and that my friends comforting words were also f**ked up. My friends told me how they had been robbed too before coming to school. That I shouldn't feel ashamed that it happened to me because it could happen to anyone. It's truly f**ked up that we live in a society where this happening is okay and expected. If you never had to live somewhere like this, where it's "normal" to expected to be robbed or other things, then please count your blessings. Young boys or men selling drugs on the corner is normal where I grew up. As a young lady I was taught to cross the street and ignore them hitting on me. But, you have to do this respectfully. Be flattered by their "compliments", say hello occasionally or smile, keep those reminders out that you are still a kid and jailbait. Never ever turn down a guy(s) hanging around the streets in a rough neighborhood disrespectfully. If they feel like you bruised their ego then they may get violent. I was born and raised in Philadelphia. Us girls who are from here know to cross the street, politely ignore their remarks, and continously say we have a boyfriend (even if we don't). Because, we know a girl or of a girl who didn't respectfully turn one of these guys and they thought it would be funny to shoot at her because she said something that hurt their ego. This should not be the case but sadly it is a reality some of us live in. I don't care what anyone thinks about me telling a university why I should be considered a candidate who faced hardships or had an adverse childhood. Or me getting into a university because of these things. If someone honestly believes that students admitted to a university because they had hardships don't belong there or got into that university easily, then I feel sorry for those people. They must expect the worst of every situation. They must not acknowledge how beautiful all the colors of a rainbow are. They are clearly too cynical to get out of their own heads (where they are always right) and enjoy life. Live in the moment. Life promotes balance, where there is laughter and joy, there is also sadness and tears. But in life, nothing is permanent. It may be a difficult time now, but it will pass eventually.

So sorry youve had to deal with this. Please remember that it is not your fault that you were pushed to sell this part of yourself. Even more than college admissions, the public education system needs to be overhauled for anything to truly change. Private school needs to be dismantled and ALL public schools need be getting the exact same resources and funding - that way kids with a poor home life have a chance to thrive academically rather than struggle all the way through and then sell that struggle for points. Institutions like private college prep academies and advisors should not be remotely legal. This is such a disservice to young people everywhere. We can do better.

They want to be able to hear your story but feel comfortable when listening to it. They don't want to hear that these issues are real and are causing suffering for millions. College admins would rather affirm their own world viewss than understand that the US is a deeply racist, segregated, homopohobic, transphobic, and overall oppressive place to exist.

This. I can't stand the whole doing good acts or starting charities for the sake of looking good for college. Things like kindness and empathy shouldn't be packaged as "skills." I understand where unis are probably coming from, but it really disconnects students from the real world. It's sad we feel the need to market and make up traits in hopes of getting an education.

@@ktlg1423 To be honest, the average person does not provide enough charity or kindess to keep the world running, because the average person is selfish. It's good to incentivize good acts, because it "forces" people to be more selfless.

@@leguminous7564 but its not promoting kindness, just the illusion of it. Rather than teaching a man to fish and giving him resources so he can feed himself and others, you take away the mans supplies and ban him from fishing therefore you can look good and post all over social media how good you are when you give him a fish when if you really cared, he’d be catching twenty fish a day. To be a savior, you need people that need saving.

@@leguminous7564 I feel conflicted, because I am both with ktlg on hating that people pretend to be good by feigning kindness to look good to colleges. On the other hand, if they participate in a legitimate charity or good organization, it still helps out the world even if it was for an inauthentic reason. I personally volunteered a lot, more than 500 hours even though my HS experience included COVID. One of the reasons I did this was for college but I'm still happy that I was able to help, I had fun doing some of it, and it gave me some invaluable experiences.

Funny enough, I actually wrote about my mental illnesses in my college essays (and ended up getting accepted)! The frustrating part, though, is that I was constantly having to pretend that my mental illnesses are in the past, or that if I’m still struggling now it’s only a tiny bit-I realize now that subconsciously, I was engaging in masking through storytelling, where I pretend I’m just as functional as an abled person even though I’m really not. That’s unfortunately a very common attitude towards people with mental illnesses even outside of college apps, where we either have to hide our diagnoses as a whole or frame them as “barely an issue.” (And if I try to act like-hey! My mental illnesses actually really impact my functioning and I need some accommodations!-some abled person will tell me that actually they’re not that big of a deal and that I should just try harder.)

@@oneofmanygoogleaccountsima4221 When I was starting out as an essay advisor, every person's mental illness essay I brought back to the team for analysis was immediately vetoed. Funnily enough one kid went against my advice and wrote it anyway. The essay really didn't say he was okay by the end of it. He maintained that he was still struggling. He got in. Good for him, I thought. Now you are making me wonder how he's doing. I hope you are doing better. If not, that's okay too.

Yes I totally disagree with this protocol and find it ethically inappropriate.

This reads like a bot wrote it

@@aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay 🤣 ouch. that hurt aida.

This is the truth!

Isn't there some quote about knowing what someone is truly like when things are bad, not when they are good? Adversity certainly affects how I view achievements. Achieving X in an easier life is less impressive than achieving it in a much tougher life. I really don't mind the idea of talking about adversity or trauma, if you want to. It just shouldn't be a requirement/the only lens to view candidates.

Lol I relate to this so much... I think when I was a teenager in high school I actually was dealing with some hardships internally because I belonged to a minority group, was somewhat depressed and had a heavy workload. I learned from these struggles on my own and didn't really write a college essay reporting on it so didn't get into the Ivy League colleges that I applied to. That being said, I feel confident in my own skin and my ability to succeed in life in spite of not going to these schools because at the end of the day only I can know the can know the struggles that I went through, how they affected me individually and the life skills I developed to overcome them.

That quote was powerful. Thank you

You shouldn't even tell the scars, if you are in a talk about electronics nobody wants to hear how you fell down and injured your leg or how you survived COVID.

​@@93hothead "if you are in a talk, nobody wants to hear about you" FTFY

@@GigaDarkness please tell me how you segway falling down a stairs to electronics

So it isn't about not to tell traumatic stories at all. It is that you can tell traumatic stories that you actually recovered from and which actually helped you improve, rather than faking recovery and progress when there is none.

Interesting, when I did my personal statement (in the UK), none of us were told to write about any personal things really. It was all academic and interests, what books you read, volunteering, work experience etc. So hearing that kids have to do it in some places is really bizarre to me, and sad.

Just know that being able to continue to work hard and dedicate yourself to learning when something difficult happens in life is itself an extraordinary feat. I respect you for not trying to use this point; but even if you do, I don't see a problem.

To be fair, that's exactly how the wideranging factors work. Trauma, hardship, and difficulty "contexualize" your work and achievements by making them appear more impressive. The logic is that technically it's super, super easy to do impressive or good work as long as you have the right tools, environment, birth right. However, it is much harder to do those thing when you had to juggle multiple priorities other than education, such as a sick parent or a having to work to support the family. It makes the achievements seem more "real" and it also communicates to the school that you are going to "survive" because you already developed the skills to do so----while others who didn't experience hardship might be impressive but they might not be ready to be on their own or to suddenly run into a problem. It sucks and I hate this bullshit capitalist trash. I just wanted to clarify that part

​@@daisy3869So what I'm hearing from this is you take someone else's trauma dump essay or essays that did get accepted, paste it into gpt4, add some context of what minor/impactful trauma you do want to talk about, and have it spit out some essays. Pick the best one (or bits and pieces of each one), edit, revise and repeat until it's just unique and most importantly traumatic enough to make you go, "Woah, god damn." Then lean back with a sense of overflowing pride and accomplishments and pat yourself on the back for some excellent admission essays. GPT4 is a wake up call to the education industry.

@@LiveType You still need to have good grades, activities, recommendation letters, possibly standardized test grades, and have a clear consistent tone to your application. The essay is frankly the easy part haha.

applies 4 times, 25% acceptance rate. Coincidence? Jk, the college application process is absolutely flawed

This is exactly the extra factor that they are talking about, because all the other regular things like academic performance, extracurricular activities, and ambitions are often not enough to differentiate one applicant from another. It is these life stories, traumatic or not, that can truly say something special about an applicant.

What happens to the records that are reported? Are they more/less likely to get in? Or are they just taken note of while still having the same odds as everyone else?

I was able to write about how my dad threatened to kill himself, but when I wrote later in the essay that I felt suicidal, I was reported to the guidance counselor lol. (And they made me take that part out of the essay)

@@wildmoonchild8210 tbh thats why i never tell anyone about my depression. Even if im fine now and dont have suic*dal thoughts anymore they might send me to a mental hospital and ruin my life even more

It’s sad that you couldn’t even tell your story in the way you wanted to say it. I hope you have people in your life to open up your heart and heal

@@wildmoonchild8210 The goal is to write about trauma that impacted you negatively, but you grew from. So things that hurt, but not enough to sway you. Being suicidal means you were impacted heavily, so it'd make you seem like too "weak" of a candidate.

apply for scholarships!! Theres multiple fonts such as, "what difference do you want to make", "how will your career impact you in the future" etc..

and for higher income too tbh. bc they can’t get accepted into good schools.

And if changing her essay would have actually cost her admission to the school, would she have been brave enough to do it....?

@@ANonymous-mo6xp The reason @Barbaros applauded her courage in bringing awareness isn't for bravery's sake in and of itself, but rather because it's something that is likely to create positive change in the world. Because universities will see her speech and realize she has a point. The hope is for it to pressure and inspire them to search for a way to undo the issue they have unintentionally caused. Would her changing her essay have been brave? Absolutely! But would it have inspired change? No. And thus, had she done that rather than wait for a more powerful moment to make her point, her bravery would have gone to waste. She undoubtedly had the bravery necessary to change her essay, but she also had the wisdom to understand there was a better way if she stayed patient... and the fact you and I are here talking about it today shows how well that wisdom payed off.

What institution are you applying to if you don't mind sharing?

Hi Tessia. Well done for your work. I am studying, Race, media and social justice and my assignment is about a journal and race and injustice I have faced in my life. Again, as you referred to one thing called my attention to race can be different things for different people and one thing I remember is that pay attention to the small moments of these experiences such as the people around me or you. So glad you also doing that.

@@LuzdoSol00 What are you talking about, she never mentioned race...

@@leguminous7564 If you read again you will understand that my course is on race/ media and social justice and we are doing the same course work.

@@leguminous7564 Yeah. I even read it again. I am talking about my course and her being the same topic. Also, I do not have an issue to discuss race in any capacity.

Hire this man for college board right now

Can I ask what you wrote your essay on? I’m class of 24’ so I still have some time, but there’s nothing in my life that has bothered me (except for the fact I show considerable amounts of ADHD symptoms) so I’m really not sure what to write about..

It's not the getting in, but often the scholarship/ funding provided that changes

just to clear it up cause I think I could've worded that a bit better ^^. I'm not saying to not write about the things that actually have impacted you like a parent's death or something. Just stay true to yourself and don't feel like you have to over-explain.

@@Heyu7her3 that's true. thank you for that insight.

My essays were catered to ucla and I heard that they really value leadership and creativity so I wrote about a leadership position and how I helped this girl through that program and I also wrote about my love for painting even though I'm bad it but I try to progress. I also wanted to stand out and wrote a narrative story about how I got voted class clown in eigth grade and how humour makes me a better person. That one was risky but I think the way I presented it made me look relatable and not all about academics.

There isn't much of an alternative though. For people who lost a loved one and their grades slipped during that time, this is a chance to explain that moment of weakness to the officers so they can stay in the pool. Without an explanation, these people would just get cut because of low grades.

If you write authentically about it, why does it cheapen the experience? It is when you become disingenuous and fake parts of the story to make it look more positive/impressive that you cheapen your own experience. if you think the authentic version of the story won't help you in admissions, then don't write it.

College essays and interviews shouldn’t exist. If there are more qualified applicants than there are positions, then select the most academically qualified or randomize the selection.

What other ones come to mind that are as good or great as this? From different topics. I would like to watch more if there are?

I want to know about the journey from reality TV to studying political science.

Exactly, I remember trying to "come up" with a story because like many teenagers I went through a period of pretty bad depression trying to figure out who I was but I didn't have "redemption" I literally just grew up a bit and got myself out of a dark time. Like it's not always some crazy turnaround

As someone who went through a traumatic event, you build resilience by building your self-esteem and overall mental health, not by going through traumatic events. Traumatic events force you to build resilience because until these events happen, you usually push problems under the rug. Once these events happen, you then build resiliency, as the only way to get through these events is to face your problems head on.

Exactly. What do people who have had completely normal lives do?

​@@SoniCraft98 Enter some competitions, win awards, climb into some leadership positions, get your name out there. Selective colleges are... selective. They aren't looking for normal people.

@@leguminous7564 So they're looking for victimhood people? Why would you want such toxic people? I can already imagine the workplace with such drama queens.

@@rudycrawford2458 They're looking for 1) rich people obviously, 2) exceptionally accomplished/intelligent people, or 3) people that have suffered trauma but bounced back effectively. You're overly focusing on 3), when 2) is still a very viable option.

@@leguminous7564 I created 2 companies at 14 and am working on my 3rd now at 16. I can't write about this and probably won't get into any school which I really want to because of this "club activities bullshit".

That’s so messed up man. I’m sorry you had to feel like your trauma wasn’t “good enough” in the eyes of complete strangers.

Similar to what happened to me, I had to think ''hmm what tragic thing has happened in my life''

Depends how you define trauma. Anonymous studies on teenagers actually show that about 30-40% of them don't have any severe Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs). It's one thing to have a difficulty (exam stress, not getting onto a sports team you try out for, crush that doesn't like you back, not fitting in, parents getting divorced). It's another thing to have traumatic experiences (chronic Illness/disability, family addictions, homelessness/severe poverty, domestic violence, mentally ill family, sexual abuse, unexpected death, etc). It's actually very bad for us to be defining simply challenges as being trauma when they're simply not. The thing is based on dozens of anonymous studies asking about adolescent experiences, it seems around half the kids in America haven't much any experience with real trauma. The most common "traumatic" experience is parental divorce, and I'd be hard pressed to call that trauma per se. And honestly, that's okay. It's good to not go through trauma. This shouldn't be some game to see who's got it the worst, because now everyone's trying to get top spot. As someone who went through a lot in my childhood, I would have preferred not to 😂 but here we are. It is what it is

@@hiphipjorge5755 Good comment but... 30-40%? Who are these lucky people??

@@hiphipjorge5755 Medically, in both the physical and psychological sense, trauma is anything that permanently changes how your body functions. So anything you mentioned as just a regular "difficulty" can qualify as traumatic to people because it permanently changes their brain chemistry and how they perceive themselves in/and the world. Different people perceive different things as traumatic; believe it or not, a severe car accident which involves broken bones may not be traumatic to one person, while a particularly difficult exam season may be traumatic to someone else. There are actually psychological terms for this distinction - big T trauma vs little T trauma. Big T trauma is any event that is traumatizing to a person which is considered by society to be something worthy of traumatization - rape, addictions, etc. Little T trauma is anything that is considered by society to not be that "big of a deal" but is still traumatic to a person - parental divorce, not fitting in, etc. Let's not invalidate people's trauma because it doesn't fit your definition of what SHOULD be traumatic to a person.

@@gymnasticsgirlie0647 I would argue, as someone whose parents are still married, that parental divorce gets downplayed just because it's so common rather than because it doesn't actually affect kids "that much." IMO its commonality does not lessen its effect on children (except perhaps in the sense that it might've been even harder back in the days when being a child of divorced parents made you the "odd one out," and you likely did not know anyone else who came from a broken home).

@@BarnabyTheEpicDoggo Me, I can't really think of any sort of trauma I had.

did you actually write that lmao?

@@pedrobambinoperez2572 Yeah. But this was way before trauma was cool.

Life's struggles/ situations are our own. Other people may perceive it differently & thats more likely. To make one's own situations worthwhile to others & of mass appeal , it calls for embellishment & making it marketable

i feel like i will just write how a block of cheese describes humanity or smth, heard it works

​@@lolima9986 lol goodluck! Let us know what ends up happening

How annoying! Judging on how well you articulated your experience in this comment, I'm sure you're more than qualified for whatever higher education degree you're applying to.

Admissions officers arguably need to touch more grass than discord mods

@@krishp1104 You aren't joking. Include most faculty and tenured professors in that list too.

God I feel this. I didn’t apply for community college until I moved to the city, four years after I graduated high school. That already felt like an insurmountable gap. After two years of study, my stepdad died of cancer and my family became homeless. It’s been a decade since then. These admissions officers who expect everyone to optimize the fun out of life are so sheltered from the kind of visceral, life-ruining horror that can blindside someone, especially in a country where the “safety nets” are so negligent, they let _the grieving family of a cancer victim_ slip through the cracks. It’s not like I want them to find out how this feels firsthand, but they could at least do their homework.

@@ammaranwar5343 🥲 thank you

I fear this is what I’ll have to do to get into university. I don’t want to lie at all though TAT

@@bushral.tasneem5464 fake it until u make it. just earn yourself a ticket first and start living the dream of your own later.

Right it gets tiring knowing someone is intelligent and worked hard but didn't happen to have some severe trauma so they are just rejected and also many of the trauma stories are lies, or lets call them extremely liberal interpretations of the events that unfolded. Way to many kids know that this trauma story is the one thing you can instantly write that will change outcomes so they write, whatever they think someone wants to hear. And people will say they admissions can tell, but I can 100% say they cant because I know so many of these kids who made this stuff up and got in.

Well to be fair, the person who went through severe trauma had to do a lot more to get to the same position. But I do think the trend of trauma dumping is annoying due to the lying and exaggeration that follows.

😂

It used to be trauma enough, sacrificing so much to succeed.

Remember one of the reasons these trauma scripts are getting so cliched is because many of them are just like any other scripts, they're made up stories.