"This triceratops is important later" was the height of hilarity for me for some reason.

Party:"Wooo! We made it! We survived an entire sessi-" *gets eaten by wolves.* I can kind of imagine this as a running gag in an episodic show where every episode starts at the status quo and ends with everybody getting eaten by wolves in increasingly unlikely and over the top ways just to be fine the next episode.

The real horror story is that we never found out what happened to the chik-fil-a sandwich stuck on the ceiling

My party had a fun session where they were hired as farm hands for a monster farmer, and the big finish was them help lead a T-rex reskinned as a massive rooster back into a coop

The Completely Expected Sequel: I say read the third part. We need a reminder of why you need to talk about people being problem players out of the game. If they did that in this first place, this wouldn't be a trilogy.

The player: plays a cleric with a heart of gold. The DM: wants to force the player to play a paladin so he can change the party's alignment. Like... what ? Did the DM ever realize she already had a perfect character for the task ?

"Every session the entire party was killed and eaten by wolves." Well, your first mistake was letting George R.R. Martin dm...

I want part 3 to Aladin and Raladin. I'm hoping for Baladin, son of the bard parents who kept him and not his other triplet siblings.

Can I say, how good of an idea it is that there's this family who had like octoplets and couldn't find anywere to give them all away too but couldn't keep them all, so each child was sent away to a different guild/church that best fit them. A paladin of Tyre, a sunite cleric, a way of the palm monk, an assassin, a bard, a wizard, a druid, a fighter, all looking near identical the party are looking for the monk in the town only to discover them dressed in plate armour. They quiz the paladin and they're like "OH, you're looking for Marlin. I'm Parlin! We're siblings!"

Love how the first story is just an organized list of complete screwery

*Everyone is Here!* -Scheduling Issues finally arrives! -Main Character Syndrome forcefully takes center stage! -Gaslighting isn't here, what are you talking about? -That Guy! _why is he even here?_

A "that guy" rogue player, for a "good" reason? That's new. It's not the approach I would have used, but it is an approach.

If it turns out Aladin/Raladin's player made a character called Saladin, I'll be very disappointed. Neither the Destiny character nor the medieval monarch deserve to be associated with any of That Guy's characters.

i absolutely need part 3. is it daladin the druid? waladin the wizard? no, no, wait... baladin the bard, chaotic evil aspiring murder hobo who's plan is to find a band of adventurers, use his amazing persuasion skills to force the group to trust him, and then he murders them in their sleep WITH NO CONNECTION AT ALL to aladin the paladin or raladin the rogue.

I'm the writer of the first story after the intro, and I did not expect to be saying that. Thanks for covering it!

Opening story: I've had a character almost identical to this, a magic user that was born from nothing and with a end goal of being a full-fledged god. But there were some important distinctions: Firstly, they were not born a god, they were "born" a mortal being (they were specifically a Pathfinder Ghanzi, so a child of chaos, specifically in this case a child of Chaos magic in the Mana Wastes), but they had the ambition of becoming a god (which, in Pathfinder, you can do, by taking the Test of the Star Stone). He kinda-sorta did that, by swapping bodies with a dragon (the DM radically misunderstood how Magic Jar works)

The rogue really channeled Thanos and said “The hardest choices often require the strongest wills.”

My brother and I discussed dnd beyond recently. I have access to the players handbook and a good chunk of the other books too on it. He decided, for fun, to build himself a character through the app. I help walk him through it. At the end he gets the confused face and turns to me. “Am I not playing dnd?” Totally sincere. I asked him what he meant. He tells me that none of this sounds like the game he plays with his friends. I tell him that everyone plays it differently. It’s a legitimate way to play called homebrew. If he is having fun then it doesn’t really matter that it’s no longer “dnd” specifically. I think that reassured him because he really is having a good time playing with his friends and it sounds like it’s a very fair table with consistent rules so I think it made him feel better that it was just as valid a way to play. I also think it put it into perspective for him though that, if he ever wants to play dnd with other groups, he will probably need to research a bit and make sure he at least knows well the base rules which are more likely to be used in other tables. He enjoyed making his tortle bard/druid though. My brother loves making bards. The class just speaks to him as a musical theater major who still works in theaters and that general industry. As for me, I recently got into dnd and a friend directed me to the dnd app to help me figure out the rules on my own. I really like to research so I took to it like crazy. That’s why I already own a moderate chunk of books and have some money set aside each month to maybe buy a new one that interests me. My parents have also been supportive and bought me a few of the physical copies of books that I particularly like as well. And yes, I know I don’t have to buy books if I am in a campaign with a dm that shares the books. I plan to dm myself one day, hopefully though but I’m still new and want a handle one the mechanics as a player first before dipping my toes into that pool. I don’t feel confident making calls unless I have played the game basically.

10 seconds in. This is only downhill from the player being a god isn't it?

Makes a character specifically to kill the other players Immediately gets killed by other players Complains about other players killing him

“We should really have some sort of Smash Bros cinematic for this because it’s all here.” Ooh! Ooh! Or an RpgHorrorStories Bingo card! Say you manage to get 5 in one story like main character syndrome, neckbeard, gaslighting, ragequitting, intentionally killing another player - then you get a BINGO!

"Its tough to be a god", that reference made me snort lol

My DM let's me be a trickster god, but plays it as they're banished into mortal bodies. Usually an aasimar, but a Reborn once. My lore is that I am a God, but am constantly surprised and amused by mortal bodies, and confused and annoyed when my God powers don't work. It's really fun! There is always a way to play a character that is fun for everyone, and doesn't break the game.

And now I'm gonna have "It's tough to be a god" in my head rent free for a fee more days. Love that song. And good ol ff14 gathering, good times

She never saw Maxwell again because he's probably still In the 4th floor men's room staring at the chiken sandwich.

I often suggest players change their class or subclass if I notice they want to do certain things or have a style that another class is better suited for. Like a Dex Fighter who wants to do tracking and sniping, I'll tell them Ranger might work better. If they want to change, they can respec their character accordingly. If they don't want to change, then that's fine too.

best fledgling god I have seen so far was an OP playing a banished eldritch god. He was a normal sorcerer or warlock (can't remember which) but was flavored as an extremely weakened Cthulhu, slowly regaining his power

Thanks for these videos, theyre quite entertaining to listen to. I also really appreciate the effort you do in not just reading the stories verbatim, but actually understanding the meaning and changing the appropriate words sometimes.

As for the Perfect Fantasy tale, if DM's want a certain character class they should run them as a DMPC but please- keep them in the background. And stop trying to hit on females players with D&D as a 'reward'. You ruin a great game with such behavior- knock it off.

DM has to talk about a sandwich attached to the men's bathroom ceiling, I wonder who could have put it there? was it the paladin (security guard) who just does his rounds? the fighter (random jock) who is constantly talking about sports? the rogue (standard thief person) who just stole the paladin's sweet roll? or the bard (DM) who is constantly bringing up the fact that it was still there?

EYYYYYY! A fellow talespire players. My favorite way to play.

In a twist of fate : the ceiling sandwich was also eaten by wolves

I like when crispy does the old 40's newsman voice lol

" . . . You seem very trustworthy." Massive smile. Quote from a 20+ year old D&D film. "THE GAMERS" 2002. :)

Story 1: Had an idea similar to this for a Sorcerer, not necessarily divine soul. He was a god untill he did something that cause the other gods to throw him out and strip him of most of his powers rendering him mortal. Mostly inspired by the Star Trek Next Generation episode Deja Q

I would greatly, and worriedly, look forward to a third act to the Whatever-their-name-is-adin story arc.

Ah, the classic tale of Aladin and Raladin! Please do part 3 next!

Might as well finish the Aladin trilogy. It’s been awhile but I’m pretty sure it addresses the points you made.

Please read the third installment of Aladin/Raladin. I'm curious how much worse this story can get and how the party and dm finally address the issue player. They seemed to be willing to give him a third chance

I want more!!!! Please tell me what happened next! This story is so good!

"Almost got an NPC killed trying to get a triceratops mount." Honestly, I'd do the same (if the NPC is the owner of said triceratops).

Intro story? I did something similar. My first character was a half elf cleric of serenrae. I said in no uncertain terms that she was the daughter of the Sun Goddess. I didn't play into it, she didn't act like a demigod by any means, but I loved the connection that it gave her.

I need the third part of the Raladdin / Aladdin saga.

First person should have just realized that they could have just had the God become incredibly weak by using so much power. I had my character have his weakness be explained almost as a limited amount of magic. *used* to be all powerful god, fought in a war with the gods, and now he's just good (if not worse) then ye average cleric. Also, I think their character could have had a sort of inferiority complex like mine: Where they know they're a god, but the feel far weaker than they should be, leading to a need for admiration from others.

The trilogy must be completed.

NGL your narrating voice in the Raladin story reminded me of the announcer voice in Legend of Korra, I love it

8:35 With that stealth, it sounds like Monk should have played the rogue :P

These people who want to be fledgling gods/children of gods, etc. should just go play something like Scion or Exalted. Those games are specifically meant for that level of power fantasy.

Scmaladin the Sorcerer!

I'm interested to hear the final part of Raladin, the Aladin. I want to see how the dumpster fire fizzle down.

Rocks fall, everyone dies ...and then gets eaten by wolves.

We need the complete trilogy, I want to know how it all ends.

First story: Dammit, Raistlin, didn't you learn anything last time?! 2nd Story: Its a blackout on the RPG horror story bingo card! 3rd: Raladin, unless you branded 'I am sus AF" on your forehead and embossed it in faerie fire, you could not look less suspicious. 4th: The Chik-Fil-A sandwich finally tore itself off the ceiling and ate Max and Grant 5th: Gross! Guys, keep your infatuations out of the game, fem players are NOT there to rp your fanfic! Especially if we're already MARRIED!

I'm someone who isn't opposed to TPK and there were times when that happens. However, even I'm appalled with the story with the wolves. TPK after ever session... by wolves. I can't even wrap my mind around the point of that.

Intro Story: Actually, a very interesting way to think about that in the end Crispy. Where the more they come into their godhood, the more responsibility they have over the thing they're a god of, to the point that impacts their ability to do pretty much anything but control the flow of water or the growth of corn or whatever they're the god of.

The fledgling god can work out, it is more or less just the superman back story but way more nerfed, it just has to be executed very carefully and earnestly. When done right it can be really cool, but it is very easy to fuck it up (like the person in post was likely to do).

Checking on the chiken sandwich on the ceilling is an accaptable reason to be late.

Baladdin, the third cousin of Aladdin and Raladdin, a college of tragedy bard who sings odes to edginess

Yes please give us part III

Intro feels like it could work with a LOT of nerfing, but best to avoid that. 1st story felt more like a list of complaints than a story, though the triceratops and getting people killed added originality. Loved how Raladin never stood a chance. I'd be surprised if part 3 isn't in a future video. Among the DM's plethora of problems, forcing a new player to be a tool to force the party's alignment really makes my blood boil. Just say you don't want evil players, it's not that hard.

I'd say we need part 3 of the Aladin Saga.

I want a part 3 of Aladin the paladin.

A sequel to Aladin the paladin 😂😂 Omg a part 3 lmfao!

I always play that song from Road to El Dorado after a heavy session

Done early enough in the campaign, a Wizard to Sorcerer retcon is easy to pull off... If someone with latent Sorcerer powers starts practicing wizardry, that's a good way to end up awakening those powers. In game you have the PC simply notice that the spells they cast don't line up with spells they prepare, and some spells they cast from their spell book but can only cast them from the spell book. (I would either take the ritual caster feat or keep 1 level in Wizard to retain the ability to ritusl cast directly from a spell book) The Sorcerer to Wizard retcon is even easier to pull off. Charact has some innate Sorcerer powers, comes across a spellbook and starts learning theory and finds that their Sorcerer powers aren't actually very strong but they do grant easy access to the weave which they employ to conduct wizardry, which they, in turn, employ to grand effect. Something tells me the player in question was many more levels deep into the campaign before making the change.. and was just retconning to min-max.

If murderhobos are what happens when players treat D&D like Skyrim, story 3 is what happens when the DM treats D&D like Skyrim (just need a few Giants though).

We want part 3 of the Raladin story

That first character pitch story makes me nervous about a character i wanted to play lmao

The "Playing a God" thing made me think. If you don't go back to the D&D Gold Box (Immortal Adventures) then what if each worshipper equalled a certain number of XP? Like, in Pathfinder maybe you need 200 ppl to believe that you're a god to reach lvl 2? (200x10) The thing is, you can't neglect your followers or you lose XP and levels. You spend your adventuring gains building temples to bolster your believers, give magic items to your priests as sacred artifacts, make appearances to hear petitions and grant "miracles". The thing is, the more powerful you become, the more work it is to maintain your power. Some faction or army destroying your temples or converting your followers could knock you down a level. The worship mechanic could get a bit like the game Black & White. But... what if you don't totally explain it to mr. "I wanna play a god"? So he might get XP from interacting with NPCs, but not from unwitnessed combat. Like if only 4 NPCs see him do heroic things then he gets 40XP regardless of who he fights. Make him figure out the mechanic. And he better be careful b/c if he lost a fight in an arena full of ppl he could lose multiple levels!

Someone had better tell Ma's hometown priest that Dnd is evil. According to her he DMed several games, and played an awesome paladin.

I seem to end up w/ DMPCs b/c the group always ignores the plot and decides which NPCs they want to keep in the party. Some of my most interesting characters were intended to be one-off plot devices that got adopted by the party.

I asked my original Dm if I could change my character because I was lawful good in a party of murder hobos and I wanted to play something that would get along better with the party. Because surprise surprise it wasn’t fun always been uncomfortable. He said no because he finds my discomfort funny.

Aladin and Raladin reminds me of two Marvel characters - Elf with a Gun. The first one is called Melf and was literally an Elf with a gun that went around shooting people. The second one is the first's nephew Relf who is seeking vengeance for Melf's death.

i had a rogue named Aladin in Ever Quest. This story hurts.

Well, after pretty steadily consuming these horror story videos for a month or so, I've finally stumbled upon a story where I don't at all agree with the 'horror' of it. Maybe unpopular opinion: The concept of the intro guy's character was not only perfectly fine, but actually very interesting. Using some kind of recently manifested, essentially baby god to flavor a divine sorc is the kind of idea I'd be stoked about if my players brought it to me. So long as they understand their status as a god won't give them any extra benefits beyond the powers granted by their class, there's no problem. Mary sue isn't a species, it's a writing flaw, and you can absolutely do a character like this without that flaw. I guess you could say the player was pretty hasty to just leave the game like that, but considering the DM's first response to their basic idea was 'nah but here's some way less cool ideas fuck you', I can't entirely blame my man for stepping out, especially if it was just some random internet LFG. So even that red flag is pretty weak. More of a pink flag really.

Good grief, what in the Sam hill is with that Aladin dude? Also that Maxwell asshole probably didn't know how to end a session so he just... Did that. Either that or he wanted to see new character ideas each time he played which sounds extra bullshit. Anyway, great work as always Crispy.

Wolves fall, Everyone dies.

Honestly, if I was killed by wolves after every session, I'd be laughing my arse off and coming up with more and more ridiculous characters. Just, that's hilarious for a joke campaign

It's always weird for me to hear about the don't flirt through D&D as that's pretty much how I met my girlfriend^^' I was playing in her pathfinder campaign and she was in my D&D one. But we did it with the lack of confidence of two lonely persons with no clue about how to do romantic approch so it was all subtil and harmless. Nothing like the guys/girls in those video x)

"When I said wizard I meant sorcerer. Apparently even though the words mean the same thing in the real world, they mean something different in D&D. My bad."

I had a player flip on me and told him I no longer wanted him in my game because I had said if he wants to play a lucky feat halfling divination wizard he has to know the timing for all of his abilities and that I'm not going to slow down the game for his build.

I'm sorry what? "Why would a map make make a map??"

How can you possibly pay basically no attention to the game while simultaneously expecting to be a main character

That's a pretty good mid-Atlantic accent you put on

part 3! part 3!

In all honesty about the fledgling god thing... I wouldn't be opposed to running that sorta game if the player remembers that they're no more powerful than what the sheet says, and that they still won't be the main character. If they embrace that they are of divine origin and aspire to godhood, but are only early in the ascencion process, maybe I'd be open to it. Could be interesting with a setting that accommodates to it. But even then, maybe they'd be better off playing Exalted.

with my recent aasimar obsession, I need to find a way to make an assassin/paladin hybrid aasimar that is edgy, but not so edgy as to turn away from being a protector aasimar.

Do the 3rd part!

Reid part 3 and then give us a super cut of all three parts

man, that first one, bad presition of an idea that could be played fairly and pretty well. like hear me out, a god loses a small fragment of their soul. like I'm pretty sure 1% of a gods soul is enough to make a mortal soul, and maybe 2% would make up a character that is capable of magic. the character isn't aware that they are a fragment of a god, and their true self is their warlock patron that's trying to get them back, but isn't like a good patron to be in a warlock patron relationship with, and the character chooses to be human because they have the human emotions and love the friends they've made and their family. the drama would be great and would be easy to write I'm sure. idk, that's just me XD

That's the complete opposite of what I go for. For instance my character description is usually loose and I'm sometimes not sharing certain details because they're not that relevant to the grand story.

PPPAAAAAAARRT 3!!!!!!! LOL Please read part 3. I'm to busy to hunt down this nonsense. Lol

Hmmm. How much XP should I give out to the players? Is this too much? Too little? I can't work it out. What'll I do? Ah, fuck it! I'll just have them eaten by wolves at the end of the session.

I already know how Act III ends. And I think that the ending could've ended better.

I'm just disappointed that Raladin's parents didn't name hime "Vogue" or "Miller" (Like, "Miller the Killer").

idk that divine soul sorc as a fledgling god pitch isnt really that bad.... i mean the whole being an actual god thing would probably just show up in the epilogue ngl

Intro Story. Well let him be a god. But don't base his god powers on his level as that wouldn't work anyway. Base his god power on the number of worshippers he has. And start him at ZERO. When and if he convinces someone to worship him, give him a boost or power or extra spell slot or something. But if that NPC stops worshipping him, like say dies or is not aided by him, take away that upgrade. Then start diminishing returns. To gain more power and upgrades the player must get more people to worship him and keep those that already do. He's got 1 so next power ups are at 3, 7, 13, 25, and so on. Have other gods whose territory the player is muscling in on also take notice and do things to him. Like start an inquisition against his "Cult".

I agree crispy, I hardly think he's qualified to come across all sanctified. He probably can't cut it with the cherubim, I know you're probably thinking "What are you talking about?" True he's probably expecting everyone on their knees, that being worshipped is a breeze which would rather help with the Interim... Interim. It's the DM and him. Oh, my God! It's tough to be a God, tred where mortals have not trod! He wants to be deified but really he's a shame! He wants to be the symbol of devotion, a subject of psalm, it's a rather touching notion with all those prayers and those salam! But who am I to bridle if he tries to force being an idol? If he says that he's a God I'd give a big "Nah!" What's more if the DM did comply with the players wishes I could see the party being sacrificed or stuffed! Probably a good point, so he wants to be a God the perks are definitely great! His own personal El Dorado on a plate, and the locals feelings which should not be rebuffed. Never rebuff, never rebuff the locals feelings no my friend! It's tough to be a God but if he got the DMs nod he should count his blessings keep them sweet that's some side advice! Not great but it's advice! He wants to be a symbol of devotion, accept prayers, start a cult! Take the praise, make a collection as the multitudes exalt! It's quite a risky habit but they'd be crazy to let him grab it so sign up a new God for seperate game paradise, paradise!

Part 3, part III, partie 3, teil 3

I mean, you gotta forgive being overly earnest about getting a triceratops mount. I mean, it’s a triceratops. The rest of the points, yup that’s BS.