"Boring" is a reflection of their own internal discontent, and people like to project it onto others rather than acknowledging that it's actually themselves which are the problem.

As a 30 year old man who's never had a chance to be with someone, I envy the hell out of this guy. Why can't people just be happy with what they have? I swear Social Media is more of a poison than you think

*"Just shut the f**k up."* Best advice of all-time. People say dumb things like what this guy said, and the only response is simply to stop talking. We have become so obsessed with having non-stop excitement in a relationship that whenever we're in a relationship that isn't "exciting" all the time, we think that something is wrong. Once again, "boring" is when there isn't constant dopamine hits happening.

Went on a date twice with a girl, everything went so butter smooth. I was polite, kind and chivalrous during our dates. We scheduled a 3rd date and then out of no where, she texted me in the middle of week saying she's not interested. The constant rejection after rejection has made me officially check out of dating. I'm totally done. Not worth my mental health anymore. As a 31yr old guy that has all their ducks in a row, I guess being a father isn't part of my destiny.

2 things: 1) Social media has made everyone always in search of the next dopamine hit. No attention span, just constant "whats next to keep me occupied" and 2)if you're that comfortable in the relationship and this is a worry, then make the relationship less comfortable by remembering and doing all the things when you were trying to get her. Find the spark *with her* by flirting and not being lazy and complacent about what you have

As a person who's been married for 15 years, i will say when it gets boring, take responsibility and make it interesting it's like going to a party and saying its boring when you don't even start conversation with anyone

Another word for "boring" is PEACEFUL! My marriage is boring. NO, your marriage is PEACEFUL. Your marriage is exactly what a marriage is supposed to be -- a refuge from the chaos of the world outside. It is PEACE and comfort. You should be reveling in this! Edit: Dang it, I should have known Courtney would get to exactly my point. I shot off my mouth a mere 30 seconds too soon. Thank you, Courtney, for being awesome.

A high quality man wants a relationship without drama. "Boring" sounds like 'drama-free', to me. That man deserves drama. Then, he'll regret it and long for "boring".

Some of the best advice I got about relationships was in a psychology 101 course I took in college. It wasn't directed at me, just the class in general, but she basically said "everyone thinks they're God's gift to men/women, and anyone is lucky to have them. The reality is that whoever you're seeing is putting up with your crap, just as much as you think you have to put up with theirs". Maybe if people realized what they have should be cherished, can't be taken for granted and won't be easily replicated or replaced by something better, they'd be more willing to commit. It's hard to always tell if the loss of passion is a sign of the relationship dying out, but maybe a good indicator is whether you're actually so used to that person being there, vs them doing things that actively make you lose interest in them. If it's the former, you're better off working on lighting the fire again than trying to find something better, which may not really exist.

I’m an introvert so boring and peaceful is heaven to me as long as they are willing to talk about everything without getting upset because my mind never stops. They don't need to agree with me, I respect people more if they have their own opinions they are willing to discuss.

Women who want drama need to be avoided at all costs.

Yep, my wife of 15yrs left because I "hadn't done anything wrong" but she "still loved me, but wasn't IN LOVE with me because she didn't feel the butterflies anymore". She had plenty of "good advice" from her girlfriends.

The chemistry, butterflies and honeymoon phase lasts for a limited period. Most relationships reach a point where things become normal, stable and sometimes a bit mundane. All relationships have their ups, downs, conflicts and disappointments. Like my mother said: She is not IN LOVE with my dad anymore, but she loves him. Things moved on to something deeper after the honeymoon phase. Personally, I think the grass is always greenest where it's watered.

I threw away my 20s dealing with insecurities and fear from parents who were separated and toxic to one another. My mum was an alcoholic who forced me to break up with my first girlfriend at 15. I then got bullied by friends who told a crush I was interested in I was going to ask her out on my birthday, which turned her off and everyone made a scene. I left those friends and avoided school and had further trust issues. On my 21st another girl I was interested in slept with my best friend a few days prior while I was out of town. I got over these issues but it took years and at 31 started dating seriously. The first woman I met decided to go back to her ex because he reached out to her when we were a month into the relationship. I was hearbroken it's part of the journey and you learn something about yourself from each relationship. She wanted me to be a fall back but after a week I started seeing new people. Don't compare yourself to others and don't be afraid about lack of experience. The first person you meet isn't likely going to be your life partner anyway.

I always felt like I had to constantly entertain women on dates, a minute of silence and she'd be looking around the room until I said something to engage her again or always have to plan the next fun activity so she doesn't get bored, 12 years ago I just walked away from dating. Dating seems even worse now.

I was once called "boring" for being a non-smoker. I mean, really.

The fact someone can break a family apart because they think there might be something better somewhere else is an extremely toxic thing. I won’t date a divorced woman for that reason. If her ex was abusive, he’s probably gonna be a nightmare to deal with as well. It’s a bad situation to be in no matter what.

It’s the paradox of choice - the more options we have to choose from the more likely we are to be dissatisfied with the one we choose, because we are constantly thinking what could have been if we chose otherwise. If we only had one choice we’d make the most it. I was on a business trip a few years ago to this very rural town, I saw a young couple there, he was very average, not too aesthetically appealing to be generous, but she was very attractive. They were the happiest couple I have seen since that trip, you could tell that they only had the option of each other, and they were making the most of it. Back in the big city, everyone is alone and single despite having many options. It’s the paradox of choice.

In my experience, women are notorious for requiring the constant butterflies/entertainment/drama/chemistry. Anything else is boring and the guy that provides the healthy relationship dynamics is derided as "just another nice guy"

you rarely see stable peaceful relationships as the main focus in movies. it's always the initial stage of a relationship.

I agree with everything you said. It's unfortunate what society has come to. People can't be people. Be their actual,true selves.

This video hit home… I just lost a potential girlfriend because of me not being a mind reader and not knowing that following friends from high school was an issue as well and thinking that being labeled as a boring person just cause I want a normal relationship is honestly so sad. I’m 22 I’m supposed to make mistakes but I feel that if I make 1 mistake it’s all over so I’m just tired of it.

“All of humanity's problems stem from man's inability to sit quietly in a room alone.” ― Blaise Pascal, Pensées

Social media has created an atmosphere of envy and jealousy of how others might have better than what we have at the moment. It’s sad.

My dating profile: Looking for a normal relationship where we do typical normal boring relationship stuff that isn't tracked on Instagram all the time. Zero matches. Lol! But I wasn't getting any matches prior to that profile update either so...

I always hated the idea of a soulmate because it implies you need to search until you find "the one". Lots of people are good enough that you could fall madly in love with them, you just have to choose one of them and stop looking. You'll never find the perfect person no matter how long your search lasts.

He has something hundreds of guys(including myself) would like to have. A stable relationship with a girl who appreciates and accepts you for you. Something I’m still waiting on.

I've known a girl for 20 years. I have dated her twice hoping things had or would change both times i was the re-bound. I wont do it again. However during our dating we discussed the reasons why her past relationships did not work out (and possibly ours). The more we talked about what she wanted and why things didn't work the more i saw the red flags. She has the idea that the butterflies should last forever and while i tried to explain to her that psychologically that it just does not happen, it also can not happen. Butterfliers are adrenalin plain and simple. constant adrenalin would just kill you. However she can not get the Disney myth out of her head (she even goes to Disney at least twice a year). She expects that magic to be there with little to no effort. At one point after we broke up she went back to dating on tinder and said to me "Its just so easy to be on the next best thing". I did not even know what to say to that. When we broke up she went back to her EX of 5 years because she missed her "life" only to tell him that she only wants to casually date him after a 5 year serious relationship...so she destroyed that relationship a second time. Ive told her that she needs a therapist but when i mentioned it she only said she would see a employee counselor and that is defiantly not the same thing. In my eyes, she's just using guys as placeholders because she cant stand to be alone. She has had three guys that were that i know of that would have done anything for her and love her to pieces but just cant settle for the "boring" part of a comfortable relationship. Its really sad to see her self implode every time but i also think her depression plays a big part in that. Shes 42 and i feel like shes going to end up alone and that is going to be the worst case for her. I gave a thumbs up because you literally said things ive heard her say in the past, Unbelievable... Thanks Courtney. Hopefully the people that need to hear it will listen.

"Boring." I love it when I can just be quiet doing my thing in the same room with my girl or a friend as they're just doing their thing. We're completely comfortable with each other and don't feel compelled to "do" anything or to fill the silence. Perfectly content to do whatever it is, perhaps make a comment here and there about something, or ask question, and then go back to whatever we're doing.

I mean, if there's something in a relationship you're in that you want to add to, simply talk about it? You should be able to talk with your partner about what improvements could be made to your relationship. This has a slew of benefits: you both voice your needs, you both work together to achieve those needs. You both talk about your respective wants and do what you can to achieve as much as you can with them. You bond better, you treat each other better; you both end feeling like both sides are not missing out at all. You both make a better life for yourselves, and you not only make people envy what you have together but also desire to learn from your shared relationship. I know two amazing friends of mine who do this as a couple together, and they look like there's nothing more fantastic. It shows that this is not only a realistic possibility, but also a healthy and wise one (if both parties are respected, of course; that's a must). I legitimately think the world would be in a far better place if we all took fair, honest, kind and open communication more seriously. This doesn't just apply to dating.

A lot of women today think a normal and un-chaotic relationship is "boring". Then mix in social media and dating apps making these women believe they are a 10...its over.

This is probably the best video you released so far Courtney. I am a 63 year old divorced man who is sick of being labeled too boring because I dont embrace drama. The women I always run into o either rriend zoned me or day that I am an interesting person but womt even meet for coffee with me or they vant get over their ex. I sm prepared to learn ve the rest of my life without experiencing unconditional love. It just isnt even worth the effort to pursue a woman anymore.

Awww mann... Courtney.. I hear what you're saying and I think it makes sense. What you're talking about on the topic of boring is like putting a finger on a sensitive nerve of mine that still makes me twitch to this day. When my ex-wife told me that she wanted a divorce after 10 years of marriage, she said we got old. We got boring. I didn't want that divorce. She didn't want to work with me to fix things. She said she had enough. That was 11 years ago. I've been with different girlfriends since, but what she said at that point in time always remained in my mind. You get married, you get comfortable, you get predictable, you get boring. It doesn't have to be that way, but it often sets in.

Wise beyond your years!! Totally agree with everything you said.. Relationships are work, and not just shits and giggles.

Reminds me of the famous line - If you're bored, you're boring. The funny thing is, after many years looking for things to do, I finally reach a point where I never say I am bored because I know how to keep my entire self engaged with being present in the moment. There are things to learn, do, see, experience, but there will be times where life is just on repeat as you build to the next experience, then resting after it.

The woman I had warm, comfortable, happy feelings with died 5 years ago after us being together 30 years. I have found that to be near impossible to replace. It is very true that you don't know what you have until it's gone.

This clip you shared Courtney is the PERFECT EXAMPLE of the problems our society faces. Women, and men, are always looking for "the next best thing". Many people think of themselves as a 10/10 when in truth, they're barely a 7/10 due to mental health issue's etc. You said it "the illusion of options" is truly destroying the traditional relationship, and family's as we know it. Take care Courtney, thank you for making this video. Cheers!

The problem is that we're not taught as young people what love is, how to build it, protect it and help it grow into something deeper. You're supposed to build on things together and become more of a unit, but in modern life everyone i focused on sort term, ephemeral feelings and emotions. It's a hard thing to fix because Western culture is completely upside down, focused entirely on the wrong things and it's entire world view is unhealthy and destructive.

I can’t tell you how much this video spoke to me. I was in a stable, loving relationship with a girl for 6.5 years. Engaged for 1.5 of those years. I left her 10 days before our wedding because of some of the reasons the guy at the beginning spoke of; I was bored and under the illusion that there was more out there on the apps and that I was settling. Biggest regret of my life so far. The guilt is soul crushing and part of the reason I don’t date now, besides dating being awful as it is. That was 6 years ago. She’s since married and lives out of state. We haven’t spoken in years and I miss her terribly. I say all this to anybody out there who was in my situation and thinking there’s more out there. Assuming it’s healthy, be happy with what you’ve got. Work on yourself first before you make the biggest mistake of your life.

My mother explained it to me a couple years back. When you're younger it's the romance, the butterflies and all that. But as you get older it becomes more of a sense of companionship, someone to be with like a best friend. Someone that you trust and care about who trusts and cares about you back. As you grow and mature so does your love. Not that couples can't have a passionate romance in their 50's and 60's but I think there's this big misconception of relationships where people think if they don't feel like viciously making out 24/7 that something's wrong with a relationship. At a certain point you just enjoy being with them and around them. Like you said, peaceful, stable, comfy, cozy and warm = boring to so many people. Boggles my mind that people have a 30 year long marriage and divorce just because "eh I'm bored". It really is because of the constant instant gratification overstimulation culture. People want more and they want it right now. God forbid they don't have the next big fix in 5 seconds.

Love the content. People are too much trying to follow the instagram reels lifestyle. In real world, 90% of your day to day life will be routine and normal. And there is nothing wrong with that. You just have to make remaining 10% the best it can be

This is what happens when you live with a girl for years, without being married. The whole bonding time after the marriage, while all those feelings are super acute, makes the two become one flesh. When they're just roommates with benefits, that destroys what should have been that bonding, and it's hard to get those feelings again afterwards.

Been living this. Every guy I felt a promising connection with lately has walked away before the relationship could really get off the ground, feeding me some iteration of "you're great... but I need to go see if I can do better." I feel like the fact that I am emotionally stable, consistent, loyal, and honest is never going to be a match for the thrill of chasing the Bigger Better (usually toxic) Deal. Then they try to come back when the Bigger Better Deal shockingly....isn't. Being appreciated the first time around would be a refreshing change, but I'm losing hope at this point.

Hey I just wanted to let you know this opened my eyes a lot. I've been sucked into this black hole called social media and it totally warped my expectations for a relationship. I miss the times when there was no screen I could stare at 24 hours a day. It was so much simpler and I feel like society has lost its way with so many things because of it.

I knew everything Courtney said BUT i listened to the whole video because I'm glad she's spreading this message and reaching new audiences. Leaving this comment to help her algorithm.

Man your husband hit a W with marrying you, not only are you classy; you’re teaching youth how to be, legendary

26 year old guy here - been told basically the same thing by a few women who literally tell me I’m what they want , funny, confident, I flirt with them,have my life together well but no spark so I get turned down.

You hit the nail on the head. I recently lost my life partner of 30 years to cancer. I was that person who almost threw our relationship away, but I had good reasons. She was 12 years older. Our thing was supposed to be a fling. Well fast forward 30 years and a grown adult child. I stuck it out, but it didn't get that boring. We still got it on like we did in the beginning, not as much, but the sex was always there. I basically hit the sex lottery. And she was a great mother, cooked and sometimes cleaned 😂. I miss her so much. I highly doubt she can be replaced. I doubt I can get struck by lightning twice. And Im only in my early 50s.

Guys: modern women don’t appreciate gentlemen who are right in front of them. Modern guy in post: I’m with a woman that can see marrying to but it’s a lame relationship and I want to get out of it.

Courtney, this is like human nature all over. People can have 99% of all things but will obsess with the 1% they don’t have. On a side note along this theme- everyone remember your blessings, don’t take things or more importantly people in your life for granted. One day they can be gone and good times often don’t last for various reasons so just enjoy your days when- As long as nothing bad is happening you should say im having a good day, for there will be a day when you are having a bad day and you’ll wish for the day thats not “good” but had just nothing bad going on! Im not being pessimistic but i do think way more people being content and being grateful for what they have would make our society and world better and we would see much happier people around.

Courtney thanks for your concerns and thoughts of what dating is like in today's world. It is vastly different compare to how it was in the past. I remember as a kid I would see couples struggle together and help each other move forward, now I rarely see any resemblance of that. I genuinely feel bad for my generation and the next one coming may we all find inner peace among ourselves. Stay strong everyone!

Excellent video! "Comparison is the thief of joy". So true. Essentially this is a video about becoming an adult, which not everyone achieves.

My ex shortly after we split , already had someone else. Now,she said that it was too soon about the new person,but the point is she made a choice to move quickly. There's many things she doesn't understand. I haven't moved on. I'm working on myself.

Everyone compares so damn bad. There's a desire to always upgrade and that's all I see. It's about bouncing & bouncing to the next. Meanwhile they had people who would've been there for them for life. It will never ever change. Because of this stupidity I will remain solo for the rest of my days. It's all good. ✌️

I've been married for over two decades, and I can confirm that you're absolutely and unequivocally right. The fireworks and butterflies have been long gone but were replaced by a reassuring state of happy contentment and stability. I describe it as a constant state of low-key bliss. I count this as one of the most precious blessings in my life, and it would be foolish to ever throw it away to experience a cheap thrill somewhere else. More people should listen to you. They'd be way happier if they did :)

I have the opposite of this illusion of options. I feel like for most guys we have far fewer options than ever before

I just lost my wife of 30 years to cancer, I’d give pretty much anything for one more boring night on the couch, holding her…❤

How do i throw a relationship away when i dont even have one in the first place?

You have a great contact this is 1000% whole point!! 💯💯❤️❤️🙏🏻🙏🏻

A healthy, stable, peaceful relationship is the goal. The guy in this video is stupid. In later life, he'll regret moving on - but perhaps he should because his girlfriend deserves better

The problem of the lonely man, and woman did not arise yesterday. This problem has existed since the existence of humanity, with the fact that no contribution and analysis was given as it is done nowadays. Even some famous historical figures were lonely even before social networks. I remember that I saw ones two quotes that goes like this (you can correct me if I'm wrong). One goes like this: 1. "You cannot raise children for the world you had, because that world no longer exists." 2. "Love and friendship are faculties that are eternally studied."

YOUR BEST PRESENTATION EVER , GREAT INFO COURTNEY!! BRAVO !!! BRAVO !!

This is on the of deepest truths ive seen said about modern dating. I am with someone now who at first, i was like "youre great but i dont feel in love with you". because it didnt match my usual attachments to anxious women. Eventually i surrendered to her because she kept holding that dream alive for us, and now i am So thankfull for all the space and acceptance and freedom its given me. The best relationship is the one that lets you be yourself. Thats more important than anything. dont get distracted by the other stuff.

Courtney! Yesterday i saved a blonde girl. 😅 Well, from missing her train here in London😊 It is a Long story..

The illusions of options wow finally someone put it together and made it made sense and said it

I try to keep my life as "boring" as possible. "exciting/ chaotic" things will always happen randomly; and when they do happen, it's just time to deal with it.

Thank you for bringing me back to reality. Us men are now made to think that we’re destined to be a certain girl’s “perfect” or “🙏God🙏 sent” companion which will require no settling or conforming of any kind. So I agree with this 💯

Best video that you have done, Courtney. Human beings in general do not like stability very much. We are hard-wired to be explorers and to seek out newness and excitement. We always want to see what is over the next hill. When it comes to relationships, this can have very negative consequences as you pointed out. Hope that you and your husband have a great week ahead!

Yeah I'm in contact with one guy who didn't get his very first girlfriend until he was 30, and while he says happy that he finally managed to get one. He says he's will feel like a forever permanent incel for all time, still has bitterness in him because of how he feels he didn't grow up having a normal youth or didn't have the traditional dating timeline like people are normally expected to do.

Hi Courtney. Love your content. Very true. You speak on how things should be. I hope more people watch you and get a clue. Unfortunately it seems most of the world doesn’t think this way. Please keep up the good work you do. I will keep watching for inspiration. God bless. Have a great day

Your content is great as ever courtney keep it up , thank god you are far away from such drama , married with the man of your dreams god bless the both of you , keep up the good work

thanks for your videos

Thank you Courtney!

Complete honesty. No alcohol or cellphone. Talk to each other. Why do you want a relationship leading to marriage. After 4 hrs you walk away intact.

Thank you so much for this message Courtney! May we all have peaceful, stable relationships in our lives. Our world needs peace and stability.

I started to watch this channel at the beginning of this week and I honestly think that you have the perfect voice and attitude for a woman and the words that comes out of your mouth sounds like they are selected wisely. If I was spending my day with you I would never be angry and probably would make perfect decisions about everything, you are giving a "organiser" vibe.

excellent segment Courtney

Ok I’ll just put it out there. I used to be that guy that jumped relationship to relationship. I lost so many good women in my life and once karma finally caught up to me it was then when I realized what a fool I’ve been. Since then I have gotten in contact with everyone of my ex’s and apologized and explained how it wasent them it was me. Incredibly they all forgave me even though I told them I didn’t deserve it but I felt it was the right thing to do. I regret my past a lot and have to live with it every day. I’ve been alone for over a year now and the reality of the life I’ve created has definitely taken it’s toll on me. But it’s the least I deserve. I’ve come to terms with the fact that this is it for me I’ve “made my bed so I’ll lay in it” and accept my reality. Guys take my advice and never let a good woman go. I just hope god forgives me too because he put a lot of good women in my life. 🙏

It’s never enough in this narcissistic world. People used to be content with finding someone that is loyal, kind and a friend. Mutual respect. The traits that survive what life throws at you.

My husband and I have been together for 20 years, married 12 and this is exactly the feeling we are both so grateful for everyday. Marriage is supposed to bring two people together to support and love each other through the ups and downs in life. That peace and warmth is what gets us through the low points in life and knowing that person will always be the rock you can go to when things get rough. There will be moments that pop up where I still get that excited feeling like when we first see dating, but no one can realistically expect to feel that all the time. I wish more people in my generation could learn to appreciate the good that comes from peace.

I really love this video Courtney. I had many eyes rolled at me in the past when I asserted the idea that boring was good, and meant that you had grown into each other.

I'm a 49 year old man and I am in a very stable and warm relationship with a 31 year old lady. She's my soul mate and the love of my life. Our life is simple, homely and revolves around the small things in life. This is the best you can wish for. Being bored means you have issues and need to work on yourself. FOMO was my issue too, I overcame it. And yes, I've travelled the world, I've worked and lived abroad (still am, I'm Dutch and live in Kuala Lumpur), but there is nothing that can beat a stable, warm relationship. You're completely right, Courtney. Keep on spreading the wisdom.

Hi Courtney, that was a video full of all kinds of things to think about ❣️ Thank you, you just put my mind into a different place than it’s been !!!!!

Thanks!

He doesn’t love her and should have a serious talk with that girl. Let her free and maybe she will find fulfillment and love somewhere else, and he could do some self-search and find out what he wants to do. He is probably too young or just not ready or simply he’s just not in love

Thank you. This was exactly what I needed right now after being dumped for exactly this. As a sensitive introvert I always thought getting into relationships is what I'm bad at, but once in them... I thrive. But this break-up is confusing. ..suddenly being attentative, open, sensitive and hard working was to...brother-sister?! Thank you for the reality check 😊

Great Ministry Hi Courtney, I put ear buds in to watch your video and for the first time I hear the background music. Nice. At first, I thought that I was hearing something that wasn't there. Grateful that you are talking to young people. They need your message. Be Blessed, Toby

Courtney, you are right. I have been married for over 20 years and our relationship has changed. She and I both had the total excitement about being together. In the bedroom we used go at it for 2 or 3 hours. Not anymore, we are just comfortable. I would not say boring. And yes, we still have bedroom fun just not for as long. Thoughts?

Courtney I agree with what you're saying here, just kind of found your channel by mistake but I love that as a young woman you get a lot of what life really is about, please keep sharing your insights. That said I thinks it's hard to understand that yes after about 3 years you're no longer "In Love" you "Choose to Love" the person you're with but you hit the nail on the head that you need to have certain aspects in common to make it work. I think people need to understand that pre-marital and marital counseling isn't a horrible thing, it allows you to figure out how to communicate with each other and how to figure out if you really are compatible. Keep up the good work.

Very important topic. Stability, comfort, and bonding is the main objective of a relationship. A relationship is not entertainment. Great job!

What I love about this channel is that it takes very commonly discussed topics and always manages to add a fresh take on them. Bravo Courtney.

Great content thank you

“comparison is the thief of joy”. We’ll said!!

As someone who has been married 45 years, all I can say is you are spot on!

Courtney absolutely nailed it! People don't have gratitude for the things that they do have. They let the green eyed monster of envy get the best of them. If you have a great significant other with whom you get along great, they love you, you love them, there's a peaceful coexistence, and besides being your romantic partner, they're your best friend too. Be grateful that you have that, and nurture that relationship.

This really great KZfaq channel💯

Great observations Courtney; the need to be constantly stimulated and entertained is a problem in a lot of areas of life today.

It's tough. Maybe so many of us are used to fighting for everything we can get for our lives in this society that the lack of conflict feels foreign. This is why I always take time to hike somewhere, even if alone, into the desert mountains and just listen to the air stream its subtle song... reminding me that seeking peace can be more important than fighting for happiness.

I’m 25 and never been in a relationship before

Courtney, you have valuable advice for men to succeed in dating, and I appreciate your work and dedication. I agree with you on most things, where social media has done more harm than good to dating. It is okay to have preferences for both men and women when it comes to dating. However, both sides need to set realistic expectations, not delusional ones.