I look forward to meeting you there.

@@RebeccaZungEsq bub

Respect me!

@@user-fb8ib1gb9g if you have a close relationship with this girl, she needs to get checked out for disease and pregnancy. Gently let her know he will do this to other girls and may do it to her again and she will never feel peace as she gets older and hasn’t dealt with it. It’s likely someone close to her. Perhaps suggest a compassionate professional counselor she can open up to.

What can someone do if their child is a narcissist?

Exactly.

Ultimately that really is the only way. The only people they really respect are the people who absolutely refuse to have anything to do with them. When you know, you go - and the sooner that happens, the better.

Yesss. Yet when it’s your son , my granddaughters, are innocents .I have to not engage with him and his flying monkey posse. Ten years till the girls are on their own. Positive input and keeping all real .

@@goldilocks3593 Exactly ✍🏻My safe word is BYE 👋🏻🤣

Agree!

Bravo!!!👍❤

BOOM

Amen!!

Yas! 💯

Yes!!!

Yep. My narc son-in-law (aka sperm donor) is already dead to me.

effective for me.....😁the only way is indifference...ignore as if they are wall and removed them...soon

The more I ignore my husband or the colder I get, he's actually nicer. I'm not able to leave, but I just want peace and I have to be nasty to get treated somewhat normal! It just sickens me!

@@bridgetrusso4801 , it is sick and sad. I hope one day you will manage to escape, to be able to build healthy relations, based on reciprocity and mutual respect.

True 👌

amen bless youre heart

I prefer sending them to hell. I stay behind, they leave.

100%

They think inly of themselves. Spoiked brats.

ABSOLUTELY RIGHT

SOMEBODY SPOILED MY HUSBAND ROTTEN. AND WON'T COMPETE WITH THAT CAUSE HE TENDS TO FORGET THE MOST HIGH GOD. DEAL BREAKER FOR ME. THAT'S WHY I GOT MARRIED TO SAY THE LEAST AND HE CANT HANG OBVIOUSLY. IT'S KOOL.. BUT DONT COME LOOKIN FOR ME WHEN I GET GONE. YOU WONT FIND ME

My ex disrespect their company boss until he did not get promotion and the entire team left him suddenly. He told me what a shock for him. I laugh in my heart after so many years of his mental abusive. I told him I forgot all our memories when he tried to humiliate me after we divorced. That’s another shock for him. He quickly find other supply and smear campaign of me. Anyway it doesn’t effects me as I already see his karma.

Leave them lying face down motionless. .......So they can rest.

Lol over simplify! They will stalk, follow, spy, gossip. they never leave you alone!

Very true. The 6 in the video will only keep them close and we don’t want that.

Yes. Have nothing to do with them.

Amen

Lmao 🤣 if only it were that easy! We’d have thought of that ourselves! Lmao 🤣 walk away- she is talking mostly about marriage to one! Every man i know is so cheap that Narc or, not when hurt & angry nearly all husbands WILL cause as much chaos, money as in bills as possible

You can walk away from a person relationship when children aren't involved. But sometimes they are your boss or co-workers or clients.

AGREE!!! Too much overthinking- RUN 🏃🏽‍♀️

Sometimes you leave and they hound you for the rest of your life, stalking you through flying monkeys. Had this from one since 1997 despite no contact with him since 1997, and a newer one since 2019. If I meet any in the future I'm going to use her advice to avoid more harassment.

exactly...i agree with you... what you think is the narc's respect will be fake respect, used to lure you in and then backstab you and twist the knife while watching your eyes for your reaction....they feed on emotional distress like demonic vampires...they are psycho

What if it is your sister? Sister is the administrator of the Trust that is close to closing.

YES! The big secret is... that you don't need other people's "respect." Respect is something we have inside ourselves. It's a precious gift that a whole person has for themselves and can give to others. Hollow, angry, malevolent people have no respect within them.

Yes!!! 💯💫🙌

Exactly what I was thinking. Grew up with one, and could care less about what they think of me! Took a while to get there.

Yes, but it is not so easy, if it is your own child…….

@@diament2249 Yes, concur with you completely I think this quote is much more for bf&gf or wife&husbnd types of reltionships you know? I'd most definitely not ever recommend you don't try working things out with your Child/Children God bless you & yours ✨☘️🙏

@@diament2249 I am going through this w/both my 1st born (22 yrs old as of 3 days ago) and my very recent ex boyfriend (for a lil over 17 yrs). From my experience w/my son, I know I would have ended up dead or psychologically incapacitated had I not legally removed him from my home before initiating no contact. He just repeatedly takes, destroys, causes me health condition after condition via the never ending stress he causes. I’m disabled and have many chronic conditions. In the 1st 2 years after moving him back hm, I acquired 2 new health conditions. The 3rd year of him being in my hm left me w/a bunch of symptoms that haven’t been ID yet. Also, my lymph nodes have developed growths on them and they swell up even more biweekly- of course they’re the ones that impact my face & jaw n they swell up in front of my ears - behind them and the jaw line. The ever increasing stress he causes (his brother and myself) has made my body assume it’s fighting an infection which is why my lymph nodes swell as they do & where they are-to add insult to injury. It hurts differently when this behavior comes from the person who developed in your womb. The range of emotions faced in trying to protect your other children and yourself from a narcissistic son/daughter is nothing anyone would want to deal with in this way bc your initial instincts of wanting to protect and support can’t be done. Look at it this way, you definitely can’t help anything , especially not help your child while you’re allowing yourself n other members of the family to be exposed to the narcissistic child’s abusive behavior and you’re definitely not helping them by keeping them there. I never thought I’d ever had to remove anyone from my presence but nothing will stop them from wreaking havoc upon their parent and so called significant other. It only gets worse- even when ur under the impression that they can’t cause more than what has already been done❤️‍🩹. You deserve to be able to parent other children and/or be whatever you are to other people in your life and you won’t have the ability to do so if you don’t remove the source of abuse/misery while you can. I told myself I would give my 1st born until he’s 25/26 years old b4 I take major action bc I was hoping he’d be much better once his brain has reached maturity but there’s no way I would have made it til then and I surely couldn’t allow my other son to keep enduring the madness, disrespect and worsening of everything his brother seemed quite pleased to acknowledge the depth of his toxicity upon each person, the atmosphere of the house and the destruction herein - including my personal and therapeutic items - including appliances 🙄🤦‍♀️. Positivity replaces the void that was once overflowing w/the negativity of the narcissist once they’re not around any longer. Positive changes will cause more positivity n that will become the norm that will be gr8ly noticeable and appreciated. Both narcissists are out of our lives simultaneously - there was no chance I’d be able to put up w/another narcissist or the same antics of the overdue to be removed narcissist after I finally set boundaries and actually felt the peacefulness that should permeate both one’s home and one’s soul. It’s almost like he knew what was coming w/o me mentioning anything about “us” and that’s bc I was focusing on my son 1st. Naturally, the ex couldn’t be supportive regarding my heavy emotional toll while I was dealing w/the no contact with my son bc I’m sure he made my feelings and my actions done toward my child specifically as if everything was all about him like he always accused me of sending secret messages to him via speaking about whatever was troubling me. 🤮 RUN FROM ANYONE LIKE THIS and you’ll understand the peacefulness I referenced that you’ll never want to give up and that you’ll actually wonder how/when it was when you were capable of giving that up in the first place👍🏽

Smart

Amin

Very true

Facts

I agree & they are up to no good gor they raise a lot of red flags.

my narc said "they're only a narcissist if you fall for it" to the rest of us there just pieces of shit

Yep when you have kids and a job you don't qualify for any assistance it is hard to afford it for 1 and 2 people aren't dependable. Gotta do what we have to until we get to the next point

they lie, they steal- my Cousin used me like a Gas Station potty! she's s MOOCH.

They use steal and lie from family.

i agree good way to look at it ...get rid of the trash in your life today...time to take out the trash...good riddance to bad rubbish

Fight narcissism with narcissism? Not caring, isn't human behavior

It's not always effective to call them out coz some are psychopaths and u could die.

Richard well said! SW England

I have no fears to speak up

I have exposed my narcissist but he then got worse and took revenge, you need to be prepared for the onslaught, the persecute you in ways you never imagined because they have a very dark streak. I have reached the point where i have nothing left to lose so I don't care anymore. I will keep fighting back.

You’re absolutely right!! And just knowing that I know what’s going on and who you are empowered me to keep going and to find my strength and my voice again and finally start holding him accountable for his actions and not just letting it go because I don’t have the energy to argue with you!! Nope time to take my power back!

Wow I can relate to you ! All the best to you x

To be self assured of yourself, to respect your very own thoughts and feelings, opinions too. 😆

Creating boundaries, and loving myself enough to leave abusive or emotionally unavailable love styles

@@Rollwithit699 that sucks, not totally the same, but my mother was pretty narcissistic, and I was willing to keep her at arms length to preserve my sanity and wellbeing.. Much harder when it's your child, but you can set boundaries with grown children. With my mother not engaging her crazy, was the most effective.

Affected ?

@@bexsh3207 Yes. It's affected.

Yepp.....HURT PEOPLE.. HURT PEOPLE......

@@user-jr2gb9ou8b Actually, narcissistic people don't seem to be hurt. They seem to have been coddled and taught that they are worth far more than others. They are filled with pride and arrogance. They look down on everyone else. I have been hurt by people over and over again, and it doesn't make me want to hurt others. It has caused me to have a heart for those who are hurting. Now narcissists, on the other hand, I would like to knock them into next week. They need to feel some pain to know what it feels like. They are assholes of the nth degree.

Total indifference.

Remember your self worth. For you and your son.

L•e•t'•sT•a•l•kM•o•r•e W•H•A•T•S•A•P•P +•1•4•3•2)•3•6•0•3•6•6••3•

Well, you may respect their opinions if you are subordinate to one.

When a person Value is Zero theur opinion means Nothing.

Same here

This! That part💯

I'm trying to click the thumbs up button 10 times but it's not available

An outsider would think that's a terrible thing to say, but to those of us who care for a narcissistic elderly parent, it's a true fact, only God can reach the lost and believe me narcissistic people are truly lost .

Good point point there👏🏼👏🏼

Laurie Kuchler,So happy for you

In negotiations it's essential when working on their clients behalf

SelectTravelVacations,You are beautiful 🌷,Hope you are not with a narcissist!

😃 exactly

They steal if you dont button down the hatches mine stole to

@@carolsampson5511 Or if they can't steal it, they will destroy it. "The enemy only comes to steal, kill and destroy....." John 10:10

Agreed! Well said

Yes

👏👏

Yep. Was this a PSA to aid Narcissists to receive endless supply?

Sometimes the circumstances are beyond your control. The narcissist could be a coworker or son-in-law, for example. But I absolutely agree if we're talking about a girlfriend or mate who you chose in your life. I don't need their respect, I need them gone.

unfortunately... their are perfect good people who have had a child with a Narcissist person. Because of the children involved... you got 18yr. at least of dealing with the said Narcissistic person.

@@dawnrobbins5877 It doesn't work anyway. They can't respect others, as they think that weakens their standing.

Ive been beaten down over many years. I. Need to respect myself. They can make you feel worthless over time. They can emotionally damage people . im still honest and smart. I got older and got stuck. Im working on a plan.

Exactly! Hang around maturely emotional people!

Exactly! Well said. Start planning a safe and quick exit from these types of individuals. The black holes 🕳 of the cluster disorders.

True. I m doing it right now. What a waste.

True. I wasted 3 precious years with a narc. They’re like a giant vacuum, sucking the emotional, spiritual and physical life out of you. I don’t even want to stay in touch anymore. Cold cuts is what they deserve for dinner.

@@barbarajasso7023 Me too, I'm starting 2 despise his guts.

Im with YOU.👍

I agree, they respect nobody

Hear ya!

Narcissist Not respect people, they use people. Narcissists approach people with supply ( ones with money, popularity, power, connection, influence, good looking, famous, stuff they crave for.) To use it as theirs. Not as theirs but as you owe them. Because, healthy people sure care about people or things they have, protect and maintenance them.

Wow, I love these comments. I don't think a narcissist is capable of giving love or respect. They're the most despicable human being there is. They want to be like us and realize that won't happen. Their minds live in the cesspool they created for themselves. After the abuse I've taken from some, I only wish them a life of misery and loneliness, which they end up being.

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Cold hearted

Wow! Simply experience. My moment was when my narc husband kept calling me fat and ugly though he was heavier and had no teeth and barely washed, yet I was working out, lost 80 lbs, and got teeth. I realize they wanted me to not feel like I was getting better when I was and so it was evil I sensed and that is when I started see it's time to roll and now I am.

Pray for her, im so sorry you had to go through that. You’ll be better & her Conscience will come through at some point

Recently I was in a play with a narcissistic actress who deliberately sabotaged a scene we were in by skipping over my cue to enter. It was a scene where we both sang, she first and then me but on opening night after I sang I received great applause and standing ovation from the audience! The next night as I waited off-stage for my line cue to enter, it never came. I couldn't believe it! The actress had completely deleted my scene by skipping to several lines past it! During intermission this actress was crying to the director saying she was so sorry, she didn't know how she could have forgotten my cue line. The director began comforting her but this actress never included me in the apology and when the director walked away this actress smirked at me. I then told the director that the actress, who was a seasoned performer and not one to forget lines, did it on purpose. The director said she found that hard to accept but that if the actress did it again, that there would be consequences. There were 7 more performances and it didn't happen again but I told the director if it did I was going to go onstage anyway and do my song and that the actress would just have to improv to keep the scene going. As I had studied many years with an improv teacher I knew I could make it work and in doing so completely take the rest of the scene away from her. The director may have told her this also. The night this happened I had many friends in the audience who were looking forward to hearing me sing and were appalled when they heard what had happened. As for this actress, I had nothing to do with her from that time on and will never be in another show with her. Although she is an excellent actress and I had always respected her, I no longer did. When looking back at other plays she had been in, I remembered other incidences that revealed she was a narcissist. But I didn't know about narcissism back then. Now that I do know I am amazed at how many were in my life. Thankfully I have been able to completely break away from several even though these relationships were 30+ years old and how freeing and peaceful it has been since!

😈Demons

Lol😂Yes. This one was funny.

Me too! Ugh

I have a friend who's mother is a narcissist. She's on disability, and is unable to move out until the economy is able to safely open up again....

Same but divorce is tricky business

Yes, my friend of ten years Bar - always thinks he's right "listen to Uncle Barrie and you won't go far wrong". He speaks to me like I am a child! Then it takes great effort for me not to fall into the trap and act accordingly! I have to get free. He's in Spain most of the time now. Has homes there and in England. He said he wants more than friends. But he doesn't treat me with respect (I don't think he knows the finer points of a relationship) I said to him you don't cherish me and I'm not being a "friend with benefits". So let's just be friends. He said "I want more than that". But he never even buys me a coffee when he returns he expects me to pay as he says "I have two places to run". We went to the beach on his last visit with a picnic. I took all the picnic and bottle of wine. When I laid out the picnic he said "you're pushing the boat out, aren't you" as though I didn't always pay! Two weeks earlier I'd gone to beach on our heat wave. But as I had to travel farther than Bar I had no time to go to Waitrose for my food. Bar brought his own and I was ravenous. I asked him for a 🍌 banana, he had two, he had some mandarins, apples and pie. He shouted at me irritably and said I told you to bring your own, now you're asking for mine. He broke off a piece of banana - I refused. Yet as I mentioned above two weeks later I took a lovely spread even went to get him baps for his burgers as it was the penultimate day before returning to Spain and he'd turned his freezer off before he would leave. He asked me to get him the rolls. I obliged. But actually as I was apalled by his spiteful behaviour I said (for a change,) I'll have half of the money for the wine Bar. To my surprise he pretended to moan then said "oh alright then". I'd never pushed it before. So maybe I'm partially to blame for being a pushover? I'd had years of cruelty with a narcissistic mother and although I was bewildered and unhappy o did not know exactly what it was now everyone knows what it is. Why do they want to hurt you & demolish you. What do they gain. To knock you down to raise themselves up? They must be very insecure. Wonder what their reaction would be if you felt sorry for them? Peace ☮️ out It's a no no situation - I get nothing from it but am still in the game as I have been pre conditioned by having a narcissistic mother & a few in the family, so put up with all kinds of rubbish in an attempt to please and gain approval. Peace ☮️ out.

Never fails

Nope

But everytime I argue they block you or set up new Facebook then block you and change their number too Mine says I didn't give him space even though I gave him a week then two weeks then 6 months to then blasted with he has a girlfriend now into a month of chatting again. We haven't spoken for 3 months after that I really don't know what his life is

@@joshuamason2729 You don't get it. *We* are the ones that don't want an argument. If your narcissist is ignoring you, consider yourself very lucky and get away/out.

@@joshuamason2729 It sounds like you want the argument and he is trying to get away from that.

My nex was in shock when he entered his home: I leave him in 3 hours (packed ALL my personal things/furnitures etc) when he was at work and moved out. Then I did NO CONTACT. We where a couple in 12 years (of abuse from him) and I planned it very well in secret for several months. For me I do NOT want his respect = I do not care at all what he think or do.

@@detjaggillar8081 - Don’t worry about what the narcissist thinks about you, they don’t. They are only thinking about themselves. Is “nex” short for “narcissist ex”? Because if that wasn’t on purpose it should have been.

@@boxelder9167 "NEX" is Narcissistic Ex combined.

@@reesedaniel5835 - I have noticed that they tend to go together. 😁 Thanks for confirming that though because I have been hearing it used more frequently.

I had a coworker years ago put husb in college she worked 3 jobs and yep of course he cheated 🤬Pathetic

@@lovewhitey2027 And they don't even care about the person they are cheating with. Even 5 minutes of getting a high from a stranger is enough to keep them jazzed.

@@jujubean8645 ohhh Im very well aware of these characters 👹

@@lovewhitey2027 Wow! Same experience I had many years ago - the poor woman was putting her husband thru MEDICAL school, and he treated her like CRAP!

@Claire DePaulo of course

Same.. 🍀🤟 don't stop being kind..

@@trengenius9126 respect me,..ha. hes the only one who can't. Even the town code enforcer is trying to get him to go away. Nope. Any suggestions? I'm in since 15 yrs old, but now my last son is 16½. He just refuses to leave until he "gets his money" Ha. Then hell leave!.👃

Suzaanne Morrow it WAS 1/2 of my life. Just turning 66 .....married 24 and divorced 9. I have finally learned!!!

I’m 63 with 33 years living with a narc. Still divorcing for over 3 years. Hard to ever trust again

@@kevinogorman1370 ? Still ? Mine just plain refuses to leave. Or sign. Or even work now.. Every day pretends he doesn't know what I'm talking about!. Also +30 years. Hugs!

Yes

Again yes and he is

I'll read the Bible and replace the terms "devil" or "demon" with narcissist... and the characters within the Bible have human faces. Read John 8:44-45. Figure out what race the man was that Jesus was talking to in that verse and start having epiphanies about what race is a race of devils.

@@craigkillmonger7283 Not much difference between the flesh and the devil. Really just red dragon energy directed at those who are susceptible. Even Peter. Jesus said, 'Get behind me Satan' (means adversary). Good intentions are not always correct. Have to affirm and listen to the Holy Spirit.

A blessing for them would be for them to be sane, stable and in their right mind. And to grow a bit of heart. They are seed on rocky ground...

yes! :)

I agree I agree those demons don't like no

saying no is easier said than done. it means an hour long argument of them trying to take control this does NOT WORK

Geez, I have the exact same story!

Me to I know how that is

I am in this position now. He, his mother and sister all doing just as describe. They have coffee clutches in the mornings to plot their next evil deed. I am on my way out and literally dream of my new life where the old black snakes in the grass no longer exist.

@@karenrussell1422 Getting out is the best thing you can do for yourself!

@@karenrussell1422 yes, these people gossip and slander a lot. They also meditate to believe in their own lies. They never look for truth.

Integrity may not be their kryptonite, but it is what keeps honest people going.

L•e•t'•sT•a•l•kM•o•r•e W•H•A•T•S•A•P•P +•1•4•3•2)•3•6•0•3•6•6••3•

When I moved on...This narcisstic bitch engaged in black magic and nearly destroyed my love life. They are highly efficient in the black arts. Rebecca zung is fortunate and the rest of yourll not to have had this experience!!!!

@@ashchan0504 They are natural "witches"...born that way. See Genesis 3:15 and Psalm 58:3-5. The only way to thwart their spiritual attacks is to be under God's spiritual covering and protection. IF you are fornicating or doing something that goes against His commandments or fall outside His grace, you are open sport for these devils.

L•e•t'•sT•a•l•kM•o•r•e W•H•A•T•S•A•P•P +•1•4•3•2)•3•6•0•3•6•6••3•

My last neighbor, (moved out, hurray!) was one of those who blasted his music to make the walls shake. When confronted about his behavior, he demanded RESPECT. (what he felt was respect) His idea of respect is for everyone to allow him to do as he sees fit, without being bothered by anyone else's boundaries. He is confusing "respect me" with "fear me". I commend you for teaching the meaning of respect, we don't need any more neighbors like that 🥂

"Invisible child" is a role in a narcisistic system. There's some great videos to help heal from concealing a true identity in order to protect from narcisistic abuse. Other roles include scapegoat, golden child and handmaid. I hope you heal well. The best of life is yet to come!

Yeah I was assaulted just for smiling once. What are you so happy about he asked. They have to control and manipulate EVERYTHING you are not entitled to your feelings same if I was upset he would disapprove and tell me I should act happier. Whatever you do or feel is wrong according to them to destabilize you. I had been independant for years prior to him so my self esteem was good and I talked back which he hated self assured types are not as easy to manipulate.

I'm Always Happy now its time to F the Nac back

This is wild. I agree

Get away from that person. I do not care if it is your own mother!

Don't think that way, you don't have to settle. Now that you know, be brave to try and be yourself and love yourself, there are women out there that will be happy to be with you, and have another chance in life. Trust in the Lord and be happy, He knows what is in our heart, you don't have to settle until the end.

I agree with you Ted. I am just realizing I am with a narcissist, I have thought it was my fault why we couldn't be happy. My life and business is tangled up with this relationship, I am older, so I will work on taking care of myself and basically tuning him out. I won't travel with him or plan occasions because it will lead to disappointment. For now I will enjoy my hobbies and friends.

@@greenstrawberry6014 mine told me when he came back after a few years, he didn't know I could be happy with out him and I tokd him, I can't stop living my life , it doesn't revolve around you. I know what makes me happy.

@@edwinasabater6642 that's what upsets them, being happy. There is no limit to happiness, if someone wants to hang with me to have some fun enjoying life, great, but don't drag us down!!

@@greenstrawberry6014 so true.

Mine too I am now learning more. I have asked him why he does these things to me and I cite a few times he has. His response was to accuse me of dredging in the past and says that's unhealthy. Then he went around to other family members and said I have "issues". You can't win with a narcissist because they have been practicing all their lives how to derail anyone that is on to them. They will up the stakes and make it worse. There will be consequences.

@@RiverVmanna good for you that’s amazing

My dad was kind of like that too bro. He died within the last year and I don't miss him at all. But I got to tell him exactly what I thought of him so there was no ambiguity of any kind. He was completely delusional to say the least but I wasn't going to let him die and not get that off my chest. I'm glad you got your respect back and did what you needed to do I did the same thing. I'm more of a violent type that doesn't let anybody do that kind of thing and the only reason he got away with it is cuz he was my father and as early as my twenties I realized that there's nothing he can do about it besides get his ass kicked if he messes with me. I probably should have beat his ass once or twice but there would be no point to taking out a guy and his condition. Not to mention it would have really hurt my mother and she's perfect honestly how he got her I'll never understand. But good luck to you and congratulations bro

My dad never respected treating me as an adult. He just saw me as his child. He argued when i told him we were on the same level in adulthood. I haven't spoken to him in years and don't care to. Was this your experience too?

They never apologize!! I'm glad yours was a better way to understand

What was answer

Yes! Me to. At age 32 I'm changing into an independent person. I'm a slave for nobody. Being empathetic will get you in trouble. I've had many narcs target me in the past but not anymore.

@@jcbanbury True, being empathetic is good but also be a cold blood destroyer if needed

Gigi,You don’t need a narcissist in your life!

Same happened to me I had a narcissistic mother but the meaning of her sadistic and callous jealousy wasn't apparent to me as a child. I loved her to distraction & was loving, affectionate, and although guarded (she said I never bonded with her or confided in her ---) I was afraid of her black days. She was charming and had everyone think she was wonderful (externally as in out of the house), but in the house she was a devil. Everyone in the extended family spoke of me as the awkward & bad one with issues. I wanted to clear the air before she died but she said to my brother and a foster girl she took in (Roz Stevenson) that she didn't want to see me either at the hospital or the funeral. I have no concrete evidence of this. There were issues with the so called 'foster girl' and myself (she got quality time my mother building her up and knocking me down) but the comparisons didn't end there. I am wondering if Roz was a narcissist too or how did she work the narcissist in my mother to great effect? Suffice it to say my younger brother (who dated Roz for three years too) never told me my mother had died until 6 months after she was buried ie after probate for obvious reasons. Then I got a letter saying "this was never going to be an easy letter to write but mother died back in April" this was now September and Roz changed her name by deed poll £25 to claim my inheritance. So I hate to do this speaking badly of anyone but maybe my brother was that way too. My mother was also a manic depressive. Did her desire to crush me get worse as I came to adulthood. I will never clear the air now, no heart to heart to see why I was never enough and yet some avaricious and manipulative female had power to destroy me. I am aware that mother must take some of blame. She was, ironically, a social worker! In our village exchanges with a French village we were in Villneuve Sur Yonne and although my French wasn't good I looked forward to it. But in the banquet with the whole village & mayor my mother said at the long table & loudly (as a couple of French people had said I looked very chic!) "I've taught her everything she knows,, she'd be absolutely nothing without me". Etc I wanted to shrivel up jump in a hole in the ground and die. So now she's gone I thought I'd be free.... But she still has her hand on my shoulder, I'm still not free & have no way to stabilise myself as I allow more humans (or non humans) to hurt me whilst I bend over backwards attempting to help everyone, solve their problems and love them unconditionally - can someone tell me how to change this ridiculous and ruinous way of living? I'd appreciate the advice as I'm ashamed to admit I am in a similar relationship (or SITUATIONSHIP) for ten years. This following a similar situation, although I escaped that one by default - he died of bone cancer. I am running out of time - help! Any advice? Oh I am estranged from my brother (that foster female is still clinging on like a limpet and she would like my brother back but he is happily married with a child). So, more street cunning than myself she is now his sister! I don't have family backup now. Any advice ??? Peace ☮️ out. SW England

It's unalterably sad (hopefully not) my life now & if I load any more unhappiness on myself it will be like the plimsoll line on a ship - overload until water goes over the plimsoll line and I'm sunk. Peace ☮️ out. SW England

@@christynorman7288 Hi Christy. I really understand how this pain can shape and threaten to overwhelm your life but there is plenty of hope out there. Living in a family dominated by a narcissistic parent is like living in a cult. Your brother (and mine!) are true believers and after the narcissist is dead they will continue to haunt you through their flying monkeys. Just remember that none of this is your fault or is under your control. You can’t change their ways and you can’t change the past. These people rob us of our childhoods but they can’t rob us of our adulthoods unless we let them. Learn to love, appreciate and parent yourself. Enjoy doing all the little things: I like gardening,sewing,walking my dog,tea with a friend, a weekend break.. doesn’t have to be ‘exciting’ or expensive just a little step towards pleasure and contentment. Finding joy builds self esteem and attracts better relationships. When you are happy and self sufficient you attract healthier people to you. If you think you’ve been financially exploited, consulting a solicitor is money well spent. They will give you impartial, non emotive advice and will help provide a buffer in dealing with toxic family members. Mine has secured an additional £100,000 this year for me from an inheritance withheld by my family. Don’t despair. Remember that we are the lucky ones. Our siblings have had their lives prescribed by others. We have free will and get to choose our own destiny.

Ruth Thank you every bit of support helps me - I go up and down like a see saw. I do try so hard to be all things to all people an impossibility no wonder I come unstuck. I do like doing gardening, sewing Tapestries, walking, cooking, and having tea with friends although I lost a few with the Coronavirus (flu) fiasco. They told me to stay away as I hadn't had a jab. (I can't as I would go in anaphylactic shock) so am much on my own - which is bad news I have loads of time to think and for an analytical thinker it's not the best thing. I appreciate your input. It takes a strange brother to bury my mother and six months later & after probate tell me in a letter about it. I dislike myself as I never see the bad in anyone until I come a cropper. Well onwards & upwards. Thank you, Christy SW England 🇬🇧

@@ruthpearsall2618 I feel like a golden retriever who has been badly treated and kept down - someone pat's me on the head and o wag my tail. Regardless of their evil intentions I still respond with love. I obviously am three sheets to the wind!