Tom Segura's Famous Neighbor | Bonus Jokes Removed from Netflix

Рет қаралды 2,011,422

11 ай бұрын

tomsegura.com/
Netflix is a Joke Exclusive: Tom Segura had a weird encounter with his famous neighbor. Bonus material from Tom Segura: Sledgehammer (now on Netflix)

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@MinecraftMasterNo1 10 ай бұрын

The greatest special in Japanese comedy history

@Irene.0. 10 ай бұрын

Seguuraaaa

@bendystraw772 10 ай бұрын

@@Irene.0.smiiiiiith

@frecklefart909 10 ай бұрын

Can any of you people come up with any original? I've seen this comment under everything Tom Segura related with 2 weeks. It's pathetic, stop being so f**king stupid.

@massaj88 10 ай бұрын

I'm so glad you posted this

@pitobrain 10 ай бұрын

I can't stop bowing

@randomfrankp 10 ай бұрын

I saw him last year in Philly do this joke and the neighbor was the CEO of PetSmart...but this version is undoubtedly the better payoff lol

@bradleywilkie 10 ай бұрын

For legal reasons it's a joke.

@adampoff5824 10 ай бұрын

“Wow you’re really smart. I guess that’s why you’re the CEO of pet smart. Oops!” I was wandering why that joke didn’t make it on Netflix.

@peds8345 10 ай бұрын

Good one! Ted

@psycold 10 ай бұрын

What was Ted Cruz doing in Philly?

@brendinz 10 ай бұрын

@@psycoldwow

@danielvillalobos4265 10 ай бұрын

He's one of those comedians who can elevate even mediocre material with superb delivery.

@xTheOxx 10 ай бұрын

And that's very convenient for him, because most of his material...

@immersivefps5141 10 ай бұрын

Hater #1

@immersivefps5141 10 ай бұрын

@@xTheOxx Hater #2

@stillwelltjz6798 10 ай бұрын

His delivery and cadence is on another level of great. This special was pretty meh tho

@DepthStrider222 10 ай бұрын

It's not mediocre material, it's relatable material

@andrewsmith1520 10 ай бұрын

I saw Tom last year, died laughing the whole time, and remembered absolutely none of it by the time it was over... Was dyeing from laughter too much to retain anything! One of the bests!

@Beardymanlol 10 ай бұрын

Dyeing from laughter? Is that like painting t-shirts with your blood in a spiral?

@benopheim9737 10 ай бұрын

holy smokes guy

@Valjean666dk 10 ай бұрын

How long can you die before it takes?

@Chitown19 10 ай бұрын

Bro I totally agree....outside of the son shower joke at the end hahaha

@donttrackmegoogle 10 ай бұрын

What color did the laughter dye you?

@TrulyToriYouTube 10 ай бұрын

The payoff was so much better than I could have imagined 💀

@iamskippy 10 ай бұрын

Same 😂

@delvindeberry1077 10 ай бұрын

Strongly agree 😂😂😂

@wonkawilly5573 10 ай бұрын

That's exactly what your mother said😂🎉

@drchico40 10 ай бұрын

He used different names depending on his location.

@Maxisamo1 10 ай бұрын

@drchico40 But considering he lives in Texas, and this definitely fits what Ted Cruz would say, I honestly believe it Like who else is this big of a weird dork?

@k.c.simonsen2 10 ай бұрын

I hope there's like 10 more of these Bonus Jokes that are gonna trickle out one by one.

@swanclipper 10 ай бұрын

there are, they will and we can!

@seanm241 10 ай бұрын

@@swanclipper we can?

@lafondawilliams 10 ай бұрын

Why just shows how much of a sellout he is lmao, lets people censor him, beta

@Danpool13 10 ай бұрын

I hope there's an entire specials worth of jokes. But your scenario is WAY more likely. I'll also take that.

@spyhydro7019 10 ай бұрын

@@lafondawilliamsyou have no idea how business works an that's why you will always be broke boi

@SweetJohnny 10 ай бұрын

The whole show was awesome... made me laugh start to finish... this joke should have been in the special.

@firstlast476 10 ай бұрын

cucks at netflix gotta be careful 🙄

@HomelessKoala 10 ай бұрын

Your special was the greatest special I have seen in years, I was in stitches start to finish!!!

@Generalwolfy24 10 ай бұрын

I’ve been watching tom for like 47 years

@rachelheller9326 10 ай бұрын

😂😂😂😂😂

@venezuela0076 10 ай бұрын

Are you Steven Seagal? 😂

@kevinnogiets3333 3 ай бұрын

Skip-skip-skip-skip-skippy😆

@SordSwingrr1 2 ай бұрын

Nice

@alexoblivion9295 Ай бұрын

😆

@pedromendes5022 10 ай бұрын

It is touching how a man crippled by PTSD from fighting for all of our freedoms in fallujah, out in the open seas in a bulgarian tanker, bazaars in morocco, and more, has the courage to go on stage and make everyone around him laugh. Thank you for your service o7.

@ragu4545 10 ай бұрын

Tom is a trust fund baby that has never needed to work a day in his life. He's father was the VP at Merrill Lynch. The guy grew up with a tennis court and pool and his backyard amongst other things.

@13christbane 10 ай бұрын

@@ragu4545 im thinking you took his statement a bit too serious.

@andrewkleinhans4235 10 ай бұрын

⁠@@ragu4545which makes his service to our country all the more remarkable. Courage is the only word I can think of to describe him.

@NGJ05 10 ай бұрын

Couldn’t have said it better myself man. Green berets do so much for our country, thank you for your service tim.

@kalenhall1236 10 ай бұрын

@@ragu4545haven’t you seen the bags under his eyes absolute sight of late night combat 😂😂

@waedjradi 10 ай бұрын

Tom is hilarious. Enjoyed this special. I look forward to his next show, no matter how long the wait. Pure art lol

@DropDMurphy 10 ай бұрын

This whole special was gold!!

@jaiplays661 10 ай бұрын

I remember him telling this joke when I saw him live. I was wondering why this joke didn't make it in the final cut lol

@therockbottom5256 10 ай бұрын

Probably legal reasons lmao

@rolandomedina8513 10 ай бұрын

You seen him live ? That's it...... whip it out and you shall be drained promptly sir.

@eddy42057 10 ай бұрын

@@rolandomedina8513 weirdo

@mountainman0221 10 ай бұрын

When my friends and I heard this live the whole stadium was shaking after he made the name drop 😂😭

@AmountStax 10 ай бұрын

I was wondering where the joke was. It was Ted Cruz....k....and..... Oh that was the punch. Ya.....😅 Ya that was 👍. Unless you're a dem that joke just reads as a sentence.

@we_be_nerds3601 10 ай бұрын

That ending line was perfect

@agrother 10 ай бұрын

It's almost like he planned it that way

@commaJim 10 ай бұрын

@@agrotheralmost like the commenter knows that

@jocu475 10 ай бұрын

He did this joke before but said it was the ceo of pet smart

@Mike-hr7pc 10 ай бұрын

I hope that he keeps doing his material for many many years. He's awesome !

@Razzy316 10 ай бұрын

I love that this was cut but still needed to be heard 😂

@Milkydrummer 10 ай бұрын

That ending….. fabulous stuff 😂😂😂

@CPDystopia 10 ай бұрын

I'm so glad he posted this joke. I need to see him live.

@jeremymccleary1543 10 ай бұрын

I promise you, you will cry laughing

@ligaleagle 10 ай бұрын

Fabulous! Thanks Tommy! You’ve made my Monday.

@DrYangPull 10 ай бұрын

Tom did this bit when we saw him live and I completely forgot about it (he was in my city last August)...nice to hear again and get another good laugh out of it

@zinny1222 10 ай бұрын

Thanks Tim. Great special

@greul_vietii 10 ай бұрын

The story with his mum made me choke laughing😂😂

@edgarsandoval289 10 ай бұрын

Could you imagine Ted Cruz as a fan of Tom watching this very clip during his lunch break?😂

@chromicapop4595 10 ай бұрын

yes then making same cringe funny reaction tom saw him do

@kathiep7781 10 ай бұрын

Or worse...living next to Ted Cruz?? Yuk!

@David-R. 10 ай бұрын

Lunch break?! What is he a Janitor?

@stevereber3358 9 ай бұрын

Ted Cruz is not a fan of Segura, he LIKES Amy Lindsay (Soft core porn he actually LIKED with a public account)

@alexamerling79 9 ай бұрын

I could see that considering Cruz has no self awareness.

@yellowleaf28 10 ай бұрын

This was a brilliant treat, thank you

@comma_man 10 ай бұрын

Tom talking to Bobby Lee about being shamed by Sushi restaurant owners for eating too much food while imitating them can be an hour long bit 😂 I’ll watch it every dayyy

@jamesdavis9686 10 ай бұрын

How many friend come with you?

@kyuny87 10 ай бұрын

Try not to squint while saying that

@googleleavemynamealone9145 10 ай бұрын

link?

@saulshennan6825 10 ай бұрын

I don't know _any_ sushi restaurant owners or chefs who would complain about something like that.

@callanc3925 10 ай бұрын

@@saulshennan6825 Then you dont know any good sushi restaurant owners or chefs. Japanese culture is very against wasting food. If they dont care at all about you wasting food they are probably very americanised.

@philmcglen6194 10 ай бұрын

Fucking brilliant 👏! Tom's delivery always kills me! 😂

@thenextx6981 10 ай бұрын

Amazing set

@Downs-Indroam 10 ай бұрын

Bahaha 😂 Great! Thanks for posting ❤

@Daddy.loves.you. 10 ай бұрын

Not removed from Netflix. Just watched this exact clip. It came out today.

@switters8679 10 ай бұрын

I watched it last week and this joke was not in the special. Perhaps they added it back in. Edit: Or maybe it has to do with what country it is being watched from? That is a possibility.

@Daddy.loves.you. 10 ай бұрын

@@switters8679 I don't know but neflix released the same exact clip on their youtube channel a few minutes before Tom.

@SageOfReality 10 ай бұрын

Tom every single on of your specials make me nearly shit myself with laughter, thank you!

@Zimmon375 10 ай бұрын

Pure gold

@Ninoluna1111 4 ай бұрын

LOVE AND LIGHT TO TOM SEGURA!!!❤😊

@kev_299 10 ай бұрын

Must not have been during a power outage. 😂

@robertmcdonald3779 10 ай бұрын

Big facts, any natural disaster in Tx or blackout and you can expect ole' Teddy to plan a vacay.

@chixdighueyz 10 ай бұрын

As soon as he mentioned a Senator my mind went straight to Ted, so I just about pissed myself at the end

@yannikakapralli 10 ай бұрын

i thought he goes like "....and i walk beside his house and i hear Arnold Schwarzenegger screaming JaaaaJaaaGet to tha Choppaaa"

@jfr2045 10 ай бұрын

@@yannikakapralli I figured it out because of the "meehs"

@Norvillescoobs 10 ай бұрын

He lives in river oaks in houston

@John_Fx 10 ай бұрын

@@Norvillescoobs And Tom lives in Austin

@mrs.h2725 10 ай бұрын

You just know he’s one of the politicians who’s fought to keep it legal in their state for parents to marry off their daughters as young as 12 to older men in their churches 😬

@D3ADBOY 10 ай бұрын

" I'm not making this up. I could not make this up." A k a I totally made this up

@lisawagner8845 10 ай бұрын

Thank you for sharing 😂

@rockstrong4342 10 ай бұрын

"I bought a house in a neighborhood that I think is too nice." The struggle is real.

@michaellechner3194 10 ай бұрын

Agree, i even consider to pray for him a wee bit!

@tugsman5 10 ай бұрын

Us poors just gotta work harder, hahaha

@OlinKreutzRules 10 ай бұрын

@@tugsman5Hahahahaha You’re POOR

@yeehawyall6458 10 ай бұрын

I love Tom! 😂

@tommythethird2527 10 ай бұрын

I was here for this!!! 😁

@davidh7953 7 ай бұрын

The “mmyeahh” kills me lol

@ryanlitalien4007 10 ай бұрын

Ted Cruz telling me “hey I didn’t want to end it like that that was awkward.” Would be the funniest thing that had and ever will happen to me.

@samlichtensteinthemovie 10 ай бұрын

Lol “may or may not” to avoid the oncoming lawsuit from the dude himself

@iamskippy 10 ай бұрын

*I wish Ted would try to sue him.* A guy who politically supports a person who takes shots at his wife and dad ••• deciding to take a stand _against a comedian?!_ *That would be as poor of a decision as abandoning your state to fly to Cancún.*

@Jokester1979 10 ай бұрын

😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Great job!!

@paleamigo8575 10 ай бұрын

Tom's delivery is legendary.

@goodbammsho 10 ай бұрын

Imagine, just for fun, ole Teddy boy gets wind of this... says some crazy sh*t on the Twitter and then... the Mommies activate.

@RHt09 10 ай бұрын

Ted Cruz doesn’t live in Tom’s neighborhood. It’s a nice thought tho

@masterofallgoons 10 ай бұрын

@@RHt09- all the more reason he might bitch about thus on Twitter

@DustinSAlvarez 10 ай бұрын

Special was fucken awesome 👌🏻

@Lint_Julep 10 ай бұрын

This is perfect!

@wimwillems1263 10 ай бұрын

ohhhhhh tommmmm, don't ever change

@halcyonspiral 10 ай бұрын

I'd love to hear how these neighborly conversations go after Tom buys a house in Louisiana.

@TacticalLeo 10 ай бұрын

Probably built a wall surrounding his property lmao

@halcyonspiral 10 ай бұрын

@@TacticalLeo no doubt.

@huntertalamantez985 10 ай бұрын

What I would give to watch Tom have one of these interactions in person?

@robZzdaboss 10 ай бұрын

He has them with Bert Kreisler

@EpicLoLs89 10 ай бұрын

Why is this statement a question?

@devincognito8932 10 ай бұрын

@@EpicLoLs89he wants you to tell him😂😂😂

@ignorantlyspeaking 10 ай бұрын

That is an interesting thought... these interactions seem awkward and snicker-laugh worthy... unlike Bert's style.. whether you love or hate him, his movie is a great representation of his joke-telling. Bert is one of those people who you could watch his interactions in person and just think.. this is a pretty average day.. then you hear his joke regarding the same exact interactions you witnessed and make a great story out of them. Tom on the other hand, his interactions seem to be more like.. ohh.. this guy is definitely about to do something stupid, I gotta see this. Both rely heavily on internal dialogue

@lpha420 10 ай бұрын

it's a joke, this didn't happen.

@disneyfanhhh 10 ай бұрын

Brilliant 😂😂

@aaronburratwood.6957 10 ай бұрын

NICE! What a perfect story once again Mr. Segura.

@gfdrthjigvtyhnhyg 10 ай бұрын

his delivery is so unique.

@KerryLuckett 10 ай бұрын

Oh, how I have missed you, Tom! Your storytelling technique is among the finest.

@laurendukes3099 10 ай бұрын

And THAT's why Tom is 1 of my FAVS!!!!

@zsuzsa456 10 ай бұрын

🤣🤣🤣 Good one Mr. Segura!!! 😄👏👏👏

@canadianrobot 10 ай бұрын

Watched Sledgehammer this wkd, one of the best specials I've seen in a very long time. Tom Segura...is funny

@Phi1618033 10 ай бұрын

This does sound like a conversation Ted Cruz would have with someone.

@iamskippy 10 ай бұрын

It’s weird 💩 said by a Senator *that implies* if he’s saying this out loud to a new neighbor _the stuff he says privately or looks up online is_ *really bizarre* … it’s just *”locker room talk”* … like the stuff you say when you’re mic’d up on a bus❗️

@jonnyp3283 10 ай бұрын

Dan Crenshaw???

@badhombre6621 10 ай бұрын

Fantastic Segura! Great setup! 😊

@HausBauConstruction 10 ай бұрын

ooooohhhhh that was GOLD!

@connorhough1304 10 ай бұрын

This was funnier than all of the jokes in the Netflix special 🤣🤣🤣 I really hope there’s more

@JonnyOpinionated 10 ай бұрын

That whole set-up I was thinking to myself - "There's no way that even Cruz is that fucking weird... Bush maybe? Bush ignores societal norms and personal boundaries too... Who can it be? Oh wait fuck my ears it's Teddy."

@RHTeebs 10 ай бұрын

Bush wasn't a senator, unfortunately.

@iamskippy 10 ай бұрын

@@RHTeebs *Exactly!* Jeb: Former Florida Governor ••• GW (Prior to President) Former Texas Governor ••• Pappy Bush 🪦 ••• Billy Bush 🚌 *What other famous BUSH men are there?!*

@JonnyOpinionated 10 ай бұрын

@@RHTeebs right... he was governor

@lostagain7292 10 ай бұрын

Cruz lives in houston not austin…

@thehangryone5452 10 ай бұрын

That was a great delivery

@romank8603 10 ай бұрын

Haha you should have left that in the special Tom!! So good!!!

@loganhernandez8276 10 ай бұрын

Touch my camera though the fence tommy

@chrisb4331 10 ай бұрын

Loved the punchline 😂😂

@liquidmagma 10 ай бұрын

Schumer would have been funnier.

@lowcountryadventures5549 10 ай бұрын

Great punchline but doesn’t make sense at all

@peaner083 9 ай бұрын

Awesome!!

@michaelcalero4259 10 ай бұрын

Amazing

@stevensullivan1664 10 ай бұрын

Nick Mullen

@TommyShlong 10 ай бұрын

I'm 100% certain this is true and 100% not surprised

@laughlandavies937 10 ай бұрын

“I am not making this up, I couldn’t be making this up…”

@joevanhart8002 10 ай бұрын

I heard him tell this live last year and I was gasping for air I was laughing so hard.

@p0ssesst 10 ай бұрын

You should get out more.

@justinoffutt7712 10 ай бұрын

@@p0ssesstFound Ted’s burner account.

@nicolevahai5982 10 ай бұрын

Ha ha

@p0ssesst 10 ай бұрын

@@justinoffutt7712 Speaks a lot about your level of intelligence if you believe this to be a true story.

@NathanAdamsCars 10 ай бұрын

To be fair, the neighbor did give you a funny premise to work from lol

@vincentrodgers5138 10 ай бұрын

Thanks for your service, Tim!

@stephaniebrown9747 10 ай бұрын

“Oops” 😂

@GiselleReviews 10 ай бұрын

Tom is so genuinely hilarious like I feel this is his day to day personality. lol 😂🤭😀❤

@Jeterfan906 10 ай бұрын

If that is Ted Cruz then he’s funnier than I thought. Because opening and then continuing a conversation like that, with someone you’ve never met, is absolutely hilarious

@mneugent7658 10 ай бұрын

Totally agree.

@ROLtheWolf 10 ай бұрын

Or being a strange narcissist

@mneugent7658 10 ай бұрын

@@ROLtheWolf How was Cruz, if the story is even true, a narcissist in that?

@d4mdcykey 10 ай бұрын

That's not a sense of humor, that is a form of psychoses.

@tym5483 10 ай бұрын

@@d4mdcykeypretty funny to me.

@JJ-eq8vd 10 ай бұрын

Was not ready for that

@juanrobbie3172 10 ай бұрын

this is guy is AWESOME...LOL...MADE MY DAY

@adamkoyn792 10 ай бұрын

Sledgehammer is a great piece of work, definitely among his best. He's such a naturalistic storyteller that the time just flies by with his specials. Gonna watch it again tonight

@ImJayTeezy 10 ай бұрын

All the way to the “oops” this joke was legendary 🤣👏🏽💯

@Aborrajardo 10 ай бұрын

Brilliant

@pwdakota94 10 ай бұрын

Seen this live and it was fantastic

@sinkWad 10 ай бұрын

Tommy Suga killing it once again. Fuckin love it!

@hajduksplitist 10 ай бұрын

I’m Canadian and my first thought was Ted Cruz. Lol

@ms36000 10 ай бұрын

The greatest punchline 😂😂😂

@CassandraKarimthebarnmaid 10 ай бұрын

Hilarious!😅😅😂😂😂

@thruxtonvalrico67 10 ай бұрын

You should ask Ted to investigate Garth. They're both in the same business: entertainment and serial killing. They could compare notes and dumping grounds.

@RHt09 10 ай бұрын

Ted Cruz doesn’t live in Austin

@masterofallgoons 10 ай бұрын

@@RHt09- but he IS a Garth-level murderer

@thruxtonvalrico67 10 ай бұрын

@@RHt09 That’s EXACTLY what a serial killer would want you to believe. Where are the bodies, Ted?

@MrKnoxguy101 10 ай бұрын

Good to see Segura still killing it on stage. The man is a work horse. Between YMH, being on the road while maintaining parenthood and everything in between.. it’s a wonder how he’s had what little available time to have gotten in such good shape.

@McL0VINNN 10 ай бұрын

Cocaine.

@bananenkuchen7230 10 ай бұрын

Don't eat Shit. Don't drink softdrinks

@inisus 10 ай бұрын

and all without drinking

@MajesticPickle_ 10 ай бұрын

@@inisushe definitely drinks...

@PabloEskimofo 10 ай бұрын

I feel like comedians have a loooot of time on their hands. They can probably think of jokes while doing every day normal stuff that us plebes have to worry about after a work week

@pyrexmaniac 10 ай бұрын

😅😂LOVE IT.

@andmicbro1 10 ай бұрын

Oh man, that payoff at the end was great! Fantastic!

@BlackoMuiri 10 ай бұрын

Maybe….just maybe…greatest and hardest punchline EVER!!🎉

@jgberzerker 10 ай бұрын

Seriously, I’d rather talk to Craig at the bank about how he’s doing.🤣

@RogueKnight33 10 ай бұрын

That was BYFAR one of THE BEST put together joke I have ever heard 😂😂😂

@JoeSmith-dl9ok 10 ай бұрын

I was wondering what happened to this joke. When my wife and I went to the show in Phoenix (during the taping for the special) he told it, and I was waiting on it when I watched. But also, some douchebag heckled during our show and stopped everything, so I’m not surprised much of our show didn’t make it in. Idk why anybody would heckle a guy the paid $100 some odd bucks to see and get kicked out. Funny thing was, before the show, the heckler had walked right past my wife and I on the way to his seat w his buddy, and just by the way he looked and walked I told my wife-that guy is a fuckin douchebag”. When he came back around on his way out I couldn’t fuckin believe it

@Scholes1788 10 ай бұрын

I was at the same show as you and that a$$clown created the only blemish in an otherwise perfect show