Funny Disabilities | Tom Segura Stand Up Comedy | "Disgraceful" on Netflix

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Tom Segura

Tom Segura

Күн бұрын

Tom Segura agrees the most disabilities are terrible and not funny… but some are. Ever heard of Foreign Accent Syndrome? Watch the full stand up comedy special “Disgraceful” on Netflix.
tomsegura.com/

Пікірлер: 2 100
@jasonsabbath6996
@jasonsabbath6996 2 жыл бұрын
As a disabled person, I approve this message. If you can't laugh at your issues, then you're defeated by them!
@BlitzkriegBryce
@BlitzkriegBryce 2 жыл бұрын
I’m a burn victim and my favorite line to use when someone brings it up is “I’m not burnt! I’m well done.”
@hopemccubbin8661
@hopemccubbin8661 2 жыл бұрын
@@BlitzkriegBryce cute
@stainlesssteelrat2821
@stainlesssteelrat2821 2 жыл бұрын
The same ...
@jasonsabbath6996
@jasonsabbath6996 2 жыл бұрын
@@BlitzkriegBryce right after my amputation, I posted on FB to ask if I could officially enter an ass kicking contest as a one legged man. Then after I had 2 toes amputated on my remaining foot, I told everyone that I can now only count to 13! (10 fingers and only 3 toes) 🤣😂
@BlitzkriegBryce
@BlitzkriegBryce 2 жыл бұрын
@@jasonsabbath6996 always been a fan of the “one legged man in an ass kicking contest” since I heard Jim Ross say it back in WWF. I know it’s constantly difficult and that these things do cause the occasional sad/angry mood swings but I’m happy to hear you’re keeping good spirits and not letting it make you a bitter, miserable person.
@jerryvelasco1474
@jerryvelasco1474 2 жыл бұрын
I worked with a kid who had touretts, when I worked at a fast food place back in highschool for three years. He started small with the little ticks and sometimes he would say fuk or shit. I never acknowledge them, at the time I didn't know what it was called exactly. But for three years I pretended that I didn't notice or hear them, I'd even continue talking to him as if nothing was happening. We got along quite well, then he heard I was leaving. I came in to pick up my last check, he was on the grill and made me my favorite mushroom burger and sat down with me. We talked for a while and he finally asked why I never said anything about his touretts. I told him I didn't want him to feel uncomfortable or different around me. He smiled and said because I never acknowledge them he was at ease and he never went full blast like he had at other places.
@dylanwhite5921
@dylanwhite5921 2 жыл бұрын
You’re an awesome guy
@waheeb_m
@waheeb_m 2 жыл бұрын
🔥🔥🔥🔥
@ericray7173
@ericray7173 2 жыл бұрын
I think he might have gotten the last laugh lol; because it’s a myth that people with Tourette’s Syndrome curse. It does happen occasionally but it’s suuuper rare.
@jerryvelasco1474
@jerryvelasco1474 2 жыл бұрын
@@ericray7173 Well you might be right, but him swearing doesn't mean it was brought on by the touretts, he could of just had a potty mouth and I just assumed it was from it. Then again thinking back working at a fast food place. Swearing on the occasion was not unheard of. Burn yourself on the grill or the deep fryer, get 10 orders right before closing, boss makes you stay 2 hours over your leaving time. Honestly wish I had kept in touch with him. He was real chill for the most part. But we didn't even go to the same highschool and then after college, who knows. I don't even have a Facebook, but I wish him well. If you're reading this Bryan from Beef o Roo, wish you well. ✌️
@kingofdragonsgameplay1369
@kingofdragonsgameplay1369 2 жыл бұрын
@@ericray7173 it’s called coprolalia. It’s not uncommon for someone with Tourette’s to have verbal tics of an obscene nature. And for many people it happens multiple times a day.
@dazednconfuzedsean7
@dazednconfuzedsean7 2 жыл бұрын
As someone who's best friend has Tourette's, that shit does not ever get old
@notsofastjafar_7325
@notsofastjafar_7325 2 жыл бұрын
Gets old quick when you’re the one that’s got it. :)
@crittertracker
@crittertracker 2 жыл бұрын
Trust me, if you had my tics for a day they would get old fast
@purplepickles34
@purplepickles34 Жыл бұрын
@@crittertracker Very true
@-chenlanying5818
@-chenlanying5818 Жыл бұрын
@@purplepickles34 0:15 what's quilt and 10k mean ?
@purplepickles34
@purplepickles34 Жыл бұрын
@@-chenlanying5818 I don't know. Also, why are you asking me? 😂
@thumbwarriordx
@thumbwarriordx 2 жыл бұрын
People might accuse Tom of being callous making fun of Foreign Accent Syndrome but honestly the biggest problem these people face is lack of awareness, and everyone thinking they're faking. He's legitimately doing a great service here.
@RobespierreThePoof
@RobespierreThePoof Жыл бұрын
Fair point. It is true that there's nothing actually impairing about Foreign Accent Syndrome whatsoever other than the social behaviors it creates in others. That makes it truly one of the most unique conditions in neuroscience.
@spiceboyog9083
@spiceboyog9083 Жыл бұрын
Foreign accent syndrome is just Gods sense of humor.
@JarthenGreenmeadow
@JarthenGreenmeadow 9 ай бұрын
In HS there was a dude who spoke in an Aussie accent. Everyone just assumed he was an Aussie until they met his family. He also had a full beard in 7th grade so we were so fkn confused in general anyway we just chalked it up to being a strayan.
@izabelaR
@izabelaR 3 ай бұрын
​@@JarthenGreenmeadowit's true, our beards come in early here in straya. Maybe it's the humidity or the fact that we're always living upside down. Check out Fairbairn, I think they're called & upside down Australia.
@CanIgetadolla
@CanIgetadolla 2 жыл бұрын
I'm convinced Tom as a child was like Cartmen from South Park
@nodiggity9472
@nodiggity9472 2 жыл бұрын
Just not as good at Basketball.
@Deuteromis
@Deuteromis 2 жыл бұрын
But cooler and less of a sociopath.
@WeighedWilson
@WeighedWilson 2 жыл бұрын
Was?
@PatternLand
@PatternLand 2 жыл бұрын
@@nodiggity9472 there’s an episode where cart man is good at basketball.....?
@tenzindrake152
@tenzindrake152 2 жыл бұрын
Yeah seriously it does seem that way
@thebestusername5852
@thebestusername5852 2 жыл бұрын
"And she killed herself, she's dead, so." 😂
@chrismark5099
@chrismark5099 2 жыл бұрын
Seriously 😳
@elitistnoob9564
@elitistnoob9564 2 жыл бұрын
That got me good 🤣
@toddself5838
@toddself5838 2 жыл бұрын
"Shes out of teaching.... she fine so.."
@SCWood
@SCWood 2 жыл бұрын
You can just TELL Tom was holding in his Asian impression for like 30 years.
@johnnyb8700
@johnnyb8700 2 жыл бұрын
Skip skip skip skip
@Omni_G
@Omni_G 2 жыл бұрын
"and she killed herself, she's dead" *hysterical laughter*
@highmaintenanceredneck4810
@highmaintenanceredneck4810 2 жыл бұрын
I have tourettes, and I think it's hilarious...I fully believe that every exorcist movie is just someone with tourettes AND foreign accent syndrome 🤣🤣
@royroos8036
@royroos8036 2 жыл бұрын
Same here: UpsettyTouretty since kindergarten. Those were the days, also had some substitute teachers who couldn't handle me at first 😂
@highmaintenanceredneck4810
@highmaintenanceredneck4810 2 жыл бұрын
@@royroos8036 thankfully my tourettes was barely noticeable until I was 21...like I was undiagnosed...but now people randomly tell me bless you all day long bc they think I'm sneezing 🤣
@johnacton2312
@johnacton2312 2 жыл бұрын
I don’t know what’s better: your comment, or your username 😅😂🤣
@sonyap8253
@sonyap8253 2 жыл бұрын
Yesssss!!!
@royroos8036
@royroos8036 2 жыл бұрын
@@highmaintenanceredneck4810 oh its toned down a lot now I'm older. I also sometimes get the bless you thrown at me. I just say thank you 😅
@loyisodlamini2139
@loyisodlamini2139 2 жыл бұрын
“ do you know how hard it is to do that accent without squinting “… got me😂
@airlope22
@airlope22 2 жыл бұрын
“impression”
@alextaylor6007
@alextaylor6007 2 жыл бұрын
I died at that part too 🤣 🤣
@canadiankiddownunder5376
@canadiankiddownunder5376 2 жыл бұрын
I fucking scream laughed
@alextaylor6007
@alextaylor6007 2 жыл бұрын
@@canadiankiddownunder5376 I had mountain dew come out my nose
@guitarwi3rdo
@guitarwi3rdo 2 жыл бұрын
No she's white this is fine
@marysue3164
@marysue3164 2 жыл бұрын
"That's Kevin. Why are you crying so much right now.".."She killed herself, she's dead now."
@brandondavis5596
@brandondavis5596 Жыл бұрын
I’m disabled and can’t stop laughing at this. True as hell. Some disabilities are just funny. Great set.
@GawdDangitBobby
@GawdDangitBobby 2 жыл бұрын
Tom: "physical disabilities are funny" Also Tom: *breaks arm and leg* Never seen a comedian so dedicated to a joke before
@inspectorconscious2388
@inspectorconscious2388 2 жыл бұрын
Frfr and now that he right hooked jeans down the stairs for calling out when he is sneezing
@FauxFace
@FauxFace 2 жыл бұрын
LMFAO
@NickenChuggetsX
@NickenChuggetsX 2 жыл бұрын
Which was fucking hysterical... he's still right.
@eastern2687
@eastern2687 2 жыл бұрын
Bikes!
@Laura-sg6ss
@Laura-sg6ss 2 жыл бұрын
That's a disability?
@allanjim3
@allanjim3 2 жыл бұрын
The only thing funnier than Tom doing stand up is Tom laughing uncontrollably.
@Mmargo1017
@Mmargo1017 2 жыл бұрын
I agree!
@thebuffalo6503
@thebuffalo6503 2 жыл бұрын
I don’t know listening to Bert is equally amusing
@jmanxoom
@jmanxoom 2 жыл бұрын
Or Tom Dunking.
@jleos0095
@jleos0095 2 жыл бұрын
@@jmanxoom yes! Absolutely yes!
@train834
@train834 2 жыл бұрын
Yeah, at Bert especially
@Necrocide1336
@Necrocide1336 2 жыл бұрын
This is why we need comedians. We need to talk about serious stuff. But I'm a fun way.
@o-normandy4476
@o-normandy4476 2 жыл бұрын
apparently there are people with a special sense of humor who don't agree. it's a damn good thing i'm not one of 'em
@rollingwithmoore
@rollingwithmoore 2 жыл бұрын
Exactly
@jesseturner9865
@jesseturner9865 2 жыл бұрын
we've been raised to no talk about stuff. so things that really are not a thing turn in to problems. if we talked about, if we had a laugh, it might not turn in to a tragedy.
@ipodzrock1
@ipodzrock1 2 жыл бұрын
The Alabama farmer impression had me roaring with laughter on the floor
@music3448
@music3448 2 жыл бұрын
Yeah my face hurt after that joke
@madskrillz2
@madskrillz2 2 жыл бұрын
I'm from Alabama and that shit killed me 😂. He actually came to our city and did some shows a year ago or so. The first jokes he did when he came out on stage, were mocking the way we talk. Everyone in the room went crazy laughing.
@hankthehound1
@hankthehound1 2 жыл бұрын
I'm British and the British woman impersonation had me creased
@georgewashington2491
@georgewashington2491 Жыл бұрын
Do do do do do do
@meetyoni
@meetyoni Жыл бұрын
Ahh tell you hhhwhat 🤠
@kirkbondadwachsmuth4129
@kirkbondadwachsmuth4129 2 жыл бұрын
I wish I could erase my memory to only rediscover Tom‘s standups..
@driedbrainfreeze2149
@driedbrainfreeze2149 2 жыл бұрын
Happened upon him on a Kreischer podcast. Click as soon as he appears. Hilarious
@suicicada
@suicicada 2 жыл бұрын
Understandable
@Neimonster
@Neimonster 2 жыл бұрын
We can arrange for that to happen
@buttersstotch4956
@buttersstotch4956 2 жыл бұрын
Same me and my friends used to cycle through all his specials everyday after school
@christianpanola8395
@christianpanola8395 2 жыл бұрын
Amen brother
@vyrusnationgaming1999
@vyrusnationgaming1999 2 жыл бұрын
My aunt and uncle have a kid with moderate Cerebral Palsy. He does funny shit all the time and he actually encourages other people to laugh at it because he loves the attention and he knows they are laughing because he has the disability. That kid is amazing and he doesn't care because, in his own words, "it is what it is". He gets through it using humor. He even laughs at himself when he watches home movies. What a champion he is. Edit: He is not my cousin, he is fostered and not yet adopted. Aunt and Uncle can't have children so they are fostering children. I am getting lots of people asking so I thought I would clear the air.
@yo-od9gh
@yo-od9gh 2 жыл бұрын
respect to that kid tbh
@RaoulDukeSr
@RaoulDukeSr 2 жыл бұрын
That's excellent, what a power champion !
@TrueRomancer04
@TrueRomancer04 2 жыл бұрын
Humor is such an amazingly healthy coping mechanism. My therapist straight up told me that if I hadn't been using humor to cope with my shit since like third grade, I probably wouldn't be alive today. Major props to your cousin.
@moor1719
@moor1719 2 жыл бұрын
That’s beautiful tbh
@blankroyai
@blankroyai 2 жыл бұрын
You can try to have your cousin do a collab with Ricky Berwick
@whackbag3606
@whackbag3606 2 жыл бұрын
"If there's a 10k or a Quilt, it's pretty bad" ...FM that's hilarious.
@Khramo
@Khramo 2 жыл бұрын
I don't get it but English isn't my first language
@FragranceEuphoria
@FragranceEuphoria 2 жыл бұрын
@@Khramo What he means is donations for serious illnesses (such as Malaria, HIV, Cancer) can be made through 10ks (run races) and quilts. For the 10k's you can pay to sponsor the runner in the race and that money will go towards the charity/foundation and purchasing quilts will go towards the charity/foundation too. So the joke is basically serious illnesses aren't funny but syndromes like the cum*ing disorder he is talking about is funny
@SuperSaiyanD48
@SuperSaiyanD48 2 жыл бұрын
@@FragranceEuphoria Thank you for explaining to us slow individuals. 😅
@thewalkingmic5
@thewalkingmic5 2 жыл бұрын
@@FragranceEuphoria ohh thank you I was looking for this comment
@Keb1168
@Keb1168 2 жыл бұрын
Laughing in church is the best kind of uncontrollable laughter
@kellyhiggs8491
@kellyhiggs8491 2 жыл бұрын
"Do you know how hard it is to do that impression without squinting?" 😂
@randall7853
@randall7853 2 жыл бұрын
Hilarious! 😂😂😂
@nodiggity9472
@nodiggity9472 2 жыл бұрын
Bobby Lee ~ "Hold my Redbull"
@chrism45
@chrism45 2 жыл бұрын
Probably the best line in this bit.
@TParkcasual
@TParkcasual 2 жыл бұрын
Oh O Hot Dog?
@jlim6262
@jlim6262 2 жыл бұрын
Oh white people
@MJC_DWC
@MJC_DWC 2 жыл бұрын
His pacing is absolutely fucking amazing.
@r0br33r
@r0br33r 2 жыл бұрын
Just because you recently taught yourself a term doesn't make you correct when you use it tard :)
@gupinarelo
@gupinarelo 2 жыл бұрын
@@r0br33r your comment history in this comment section is just sad lmao, touch grass for once in your miserable life
@The.Kyle.Scott.
@The.Kyle.Scott. 2 жыл бұрын
@Gustavao Apreciador de mamaco yo you actually told this kid to touch grass LOL my guy
@Magst3r1
@Magst3r1 2 жыл бұрын
@@gupinarelo kinda hypocritical to say touch grass to someone on the internet
@Ffeoli1039
@Ffeoli1039 2 жыл бұрын
@@Magst3r1 yeah. We should hunt him down and tell him in person, right? Dude said some dumb tough guy shit and got called out. What else can you do?
@jordansean6986
@jordansean6986 2 жыл бұрын
My mate does stand up and he has Celberal Palsy, he's absolutely savage about it, one of his old shows was even called "CripLash"
@ctt7971
@ctt7971 2 жыл бұрын
Any chance he does stand up in San Diego ? I saw a comic with Celberal Palsy in a club years ago that was so funny
@storybard4438
@storybard4438 2 жыл бұрын
Gold bro.Does he have his material somewhere online we can see??
@MangoMagica
@MangoMagica 2 жыл бұрын
Oh my god I want to see him live
@snowfan0521
@snowfan0521 2 жыл бұрын
Josh Blue is a stand up with CP, it's even part of his jokes
@EagleScout2019
@EagleScout2019 2 жыл бұрын
I’m dyslexic (which is technically a mental disability) and my brother is autistic, I joke about dyslexia the most, and my brother would be canceled with how many jokes he makes about autism. People with disabilities make more jokes then anyone else. I love it
@autistichades5552
@autistichades5552 2 жыл бұрын
Yeah, unlike neurotypicals who are so up in arms about “oppression” and “prejudice”, we actually know what we are, and we’re able to joke about ourselves because it puts humor in our weaknesses. If anything, I’d argue that it helps us with our disorders and other people’s understanding and awareness of it, and these everyday people are taking away an oppressed group’s coping mechanism against corporations investing on elimination of our existence, which IMO seems very ableist to me…oh the irony.
@shanestephens4728
@shanestephens4728 Жыл бұрын
Joe, I’m not gonna lie I’m kinda retarded
@cosmic.spaceman8923
@cosmic.spaceman8923 2 жыл бұрын
"Can I see that shir-" *AND I JIZZED IN MY PANTS*
@r0br33r
@r0br33r 2 жыл бұрын
Congrats momo! You've cracked the unoriginal code! You're subscribed to an unfunny hack!
@Max-he2vx
@Max-he2vx 2 жыл бұрын
@@r0br33r does it bother you much? You clearly put effort into that comment
@CommanderOfLight
@CommanderOfLight 2 жыл бұрын
People who have been using youtube a long time will understand your reference. I salute you for even remembering that lmao
@theeguy9022
@theeguy9022 2 жыл бұрын
Fuck dude I have to sleep tonight and now I have that in my head
@Clinton221087
@Clinton221087 2 жыл бұрын
At the end when he shouted: "What is happening?!" I genuinely spat out my coffee laughing.
@lestatsgirlypop
@lestatsgirlypop 2 жыл бұрын
Reminded me of micheal Scott, lol.
@samuellennyviner
@samuellennyviner 2 жыл бұрын
That was when I lost it too. Rewinded a few times 😂
@lavans5721
@lavans5721 11 ай бұрын
God it really is the funniest fucking part. The way he goes from monotone, to a recording from inside Chernobyl's reactor control room with how authentic it was!
@brendandarcy8188
@brendandarcy8188 2 жыл бұрын
I live in Australia and 25 years ago I had a friend who was hot by a bus and when he came out of his coma he spoke with a Canadian accent and still has it to this day.
@Pacific_Norfweest
@Pacific_Norfweest Жыл бұрын
Traded one of the sexiest accents for one of the worst. That bus knocked him into Toronto.
@gulli-xw4tm
@gulli-xw4tm Жыл бұрын
That laugh he did when he was ten had me in tears
@bleh2590
@bleh2590 2 жыл бұрын
"She's white, is fine". Oh lord! XD
@WegotTheBOMB
@WegotTheBOMB 2 жыл бұрын
Tim went for an easy lay-up and now he parks in the blue spaces.
@nodiggity9472
@nodiggity9472 2 жыл бұрын
Right next to Bert 'Special Ed' Kreicher.
@seanriopel3132
@seanriopel3132 2 жыл бұрын
You mean Tom?
@MrCTruck
@MrCTruck 2 жыл бұрын
@@seanriopel3132 he means Sam
@EljaeHD
@EljaeHD 2 жыл бұрын
@@seanriopel3132 he means Todd
@Neimonster
@Neimonster 2 жыл бұрын
@@EljaeHD Who is Randy?
@tobygoodman9134
@tobygoodman9134 2 жыл бұрын
This is the first time ive ever watched any Tom Segura stand up, and it had me howling with laughter!! 10/10. 'And she killed herself, shes dead' got me wheezing man, that shit was so good!!
@TheMofobuss
@TheMofobuss 2 жыл бұрын
All time fave is still steven Segal impression
@mykillmatic
@mykillmatic 2 жыл бұрын
i am in AWE of how funny this dude is.. ive known about him for a couple years via podcast but for some reason never checked out his stand up.... he is a LEGEND!!!
@craigkonowal1260
@craigkonowal1260 2 жыл бұрын
One of the best bits ever man. I was born with cystic fibrosis and the “10k or quilt” fucking killed me. So goddamn true. I’ll never understand how people don’t think this is funny. Have some humility for fucks sake.
@jgee7827
@jgee7827 2 жыл бұрын
Same here ( lhave a disability and think it's funny) the only time I don't think it's funny is when they are actually making fun of it to be mean
@d-rock100
@d-rock100 2 жыл бұрын
One of my favorites. But I don’t get the 10k or quilt joke? Sorry I’m slow lol
@macsalama
@macsalama 2 жыл бұрын
@@d-rock100 10k like the cancer marathons or quilt like AIDS
@d-rock100
@d-rock100 2 жыл бұрын
@@macsalama right on. I get it now. Thank you!
@mcrocksy2018
@mcrocksy2018 2 жыл бұрын
Oh sorry next time I’ll laugh when I finally understand what “10k or quilt” means
@daltonmorris9845
@daltonmorris9845 2 жыл бұрын
His "having a stroke" laughter got me. I busted a gut at that one. I remember trying to not laugh in serious situations as a kid, and how everything was 10 times funnier during those times, and the feeling of holding it in with everything you have so you don't ruin things. Good times.
@lemongavine
@lemongavine 2 жыл бұрын
One of the hardest things to do…..hold in a laugh when something is extremely funny. A little always comes out through your nose. Been there way too many times.
@TheMaynne1
@TheMaynne1 2 жыл бұрын
I'm sitting in a religious home watching this on a Sunday before work. The increase was tenfold lol
@randomheadful7190
@randomheadful7190 2 жыл бұрын
That’s where I lost it too. 😂
@starfire0007
@starfire0007 2 жыл бұрын
I'm trying not to laugh so I don't wake the family, now I'M HAVING a stroke!
@donnavickers6058
@donnavickers6058 2 жыл бұрын
I remember being unable to suppress a giggle when a dude in the psych facility I was temporarily at says"Anwar Sadat was in TV last night and he told me to kill infidels". He wasn't Muslim just schizophrenic. I got in trouble for laughing 😳. Can't help it, me and impulsivity are very close buddies.
@Jideaohn
@Jideaohn Жыл бұрын
Like what a world we live in for Bert and Tom to make a podcast together. Two of the funniest guys to have ever graced comedy.
@tysonclarke012
@tysonclarke012 2 жыл бұрын
God, the wheezing thing when he's in mass? Dude... I can never stop laughing at this. My wife thinks I'm insane but my stomach tenses up like a puking cat.
@yakkayakka360
@yakkayakka360 2 жыл бұрын
"Some people experience head trauma. Not funny." As if we haven't seen 90% of YMH episodes 😂
@anthonyzullo
@anthonyzullo 2 жыл бұрын
Ayo right lmfao! Tom got us to bomb garth brooks ig
@radioactive_baby0706
@radioactive_baby0706 2 жыл бұрын
YMH?
@manovonor
@manovonor 2 жыл бұрын
@@radioactive_baby0706 Your Mom's House, Tom's podcast.
@radioactive_baby0706
@radioactive_baby0706 2 жыл бұрын
@@manovonor Ahhhhh okay. Thanks.
@stevied2733
@stevied2733 2 жыл бұрын
HOW COME NOBODY ELSE… Tim’s timing is always amazing.
@gregcadman7779
@gregcadman7779 2 жыл бұрын
I don’t know who Tim is, but that’s funny! (Tom Segura)
@commaJim
@commaJim 2 жыл бұрын
Love Tim ! Way better than that hack Tom.
@xwhite2020
@xwhite2020 2 жыл бұрын
Timoy.
@nathan5295
@nathan5295 2 жыл бұрын
@@commaJim You mean that Japanese guy right?
@zakrivera8977
@zakrivera8977 2 жыл бұрын
seGURRRRAAAAA
@Bruh-vs1qv
@Bruh-vs1qv Жыл бұрын
7:41 I don't think I've ever heard a better punchline holy shit
@bignoknow
@bignoknow 2 жыл бұрын
Perhaps my favorite stand up in the world right now
@Terron35
@Terron35 2 жыл бұрын
When I was in 8th grade we had a substitute we all hated. My buddy knocked something over and she went to yell at him. He decided to stutter a little bit and told her he had tourettes. The entire class silently decided in that moment that my buddy had tourettes and we messed with her every time we had her as a sub moving forward. Nothing major but he'd knock shit over and start twitching a little and one of us would volunteer to help him to the nurses office to take his meds. We'd actually just take a bathroom break and come back. I'm still proud of my class for never snitching
@mmacaine
@mmacaine 2 жыл бұрын
Wow. You all have a unique bond to be able to pull that off! That's a really good story. Thank you for sharing. :)
@Terron35
@Terron35 2 жыл бұрын
@@mmacaine it was a combination of it being a small town and the power of shared hatred towards this substitute lol
@nazz2406
@nazz2406 2 жыл бұрын
Dude that's fucking epic. I would've died.
@l.w.paradis2108
@l.w.paradis2108 2 жыл бұрын
When was that? Before smart phones and uploaded videos I'm thinking. Joking aside, you had a real education. Tom Sawyer, not the sniveling cousin.
@Terron35
@Terron35 2 жыл бұрын
@@l.w.paradis2108 this was late 2007/early 2008 so the first iPhone was less than a year old. Makes me feel kind of old lol
@obvsobvs8369
@obvsobvs8369 2 жыл бұрын
"she's white, it's fine" LMAOOOO
@nakmuay7705
@nakmuay7705 2 жыл бұрын
My Sunday school teacher fell off her horse and now has an Irish accent. Shes Canadian.
@millacernemusic
@millacernemusic 2 жыл бұрын
She could just tell people she’s from Newfoundland and no one would bat an eye.
@nakmuay7705
@nakmuay7705 2 жыл бұрын
@@millacernemusic lol. She already kinda had the Newfie lilt to her voice. Maybe she went Irish cause it was already so similar?
@victoryfaction
@victoryfaction 2 жыл бұрын
@@millacernemusic I was gonna say... Some Canadians sound a bit Irish already.
@muckspoutmillinery8008
@muckspoutmillinery8008 2 жыл бұрын
I have some disabilities including cerebral palsy and autism and was prepared to be offended. There are tears in my eyes from laughing. I love this guy. I have watched this clip so many times and laughed hysterically every time 😂
@Ravelowsky
@Ravelowsky 10 ай бұрын
I'm re watching it again😅
@RileyWuzzHere
@RileyWuzzHere 2 жыл бұрын
“If there’s a 10K or a quilt.” 🤣🤣🤣
@dudeinasuitoffical
@dudeinasuitoffical 2 жыл бұрын
"I watched a 10 year old break an old woman's spirit" that's a brittle spirit
@mnemonichotpocket
@mnemonichotpocket 2 жыл бұрын
So sayeth the dave
@microfister
@microfister 2 жыл бұрын
grown, not old
@dudeinasuitoffical
@dudeinasuitoffical 2 жыл бұрын
@@mnemonichotpocket praise the dave
@hopemccubbin8661
@hopemccubbin8661 2 жыл бұрын
No, that was a really rough day, dude. They didn't even tell her. Substitutes make peanuts and only have high school diplomas. I'm sure he's exaggerating too. But if it was private school maybe he didn't have his own aid.
@hopemccubbin8661
@hopemccubbin8661 2 жыл бұрын
you try sustituting, you superior goober
@figipalmtree8768
@figipalmtree8768 2 жыл бұрын
Finally gave this guy a shot. He delivers jokes so well. Good stuff. "She killed herself shes dead..so"
@ThePURPLExSHADOWZ
@ThePURPLExSHADOWZ 2 жыл бұрын
“Did you hear what I just fucking said?” Gets me every damn time 😂
@dylancates5965
@dylancates5965 2 жыл бұрын
I have Tourette’s and I have never laughed so hard in my life 😂🤣😂
@isentient666
@isentient666 2 жыл бұрын
...besides randomly in a library? Lol! Nah really I joke and you are awesome for having a great sense of humor. Peace and love.
@l.w.paradis2108
@l.w.paradis2108 2 жыл бұрын
That must've felt good.
@tegridyweed7863
@tegridyweed7863 2 жыл бұрын
Boondock Saints: "Fook! Ahss!" The Mexican: "Hi Fook! Ahss! I'm Romeo!"
@harmonybade324
@harmonybade324 2 жыл бұрын
AHHHH MY FAVORITE MOVIE
@pro0055
@pro0055 2 жыл бұрын
I can just imagine all the weirdos on Twitter losing their goddamn minds over his jokes calling him ableist and all that crap LOL
@anguishedcarpet
@anguishedcarpet 2 жыл бұрын
They did
@bucket399
@bucket399 2 жыл бұрын
This comment with the Joker profile pic to match... peak "we live in a society" moment over here lmao
@anguishedcarpet
@anguishedcarpet 2 жыл бұрын
@@bucket399 I mean people literally did that, I remember it very clearly
@LucaVespa99
@LucaVespa99 Жыл бұрын
I grew up in an old school Italian family in the 70’s. we used to have dinners with 35 people and 25 kids were everybody said profanities every second word. So when I actually met somebody with Tourette’s…it didn’t even phase me, I just thought he was my cousin 😆
@datasainboii69
@datasainboii69 2 жыл бұрын
The way everyone laughed at the end was so pure and kind of messed up. But pure 😂
@JonesySurvived
@JonesySurvived 2 жыл бұрын
I wish people would stop calling mocking an accent "racist". Accents are regional, not racial.
@NecroPyroLion
@NecroPyroLion 2 жыл бұрын
Meh they're still kinda racial due to segregation
@JonesySurvived
@JonesySurvived 2 жыл бұрын
kzfaq.info/get/bejne/n910mqRqsbu6fXU.html
@NecroPyroLion
@NecroPyroLion 2 жыл бұрын
@@JonesySurvived ty for proving my point. Think for a second about why the video was even being taken in the first place.
@JonesySurvived
@JonesySurvived 2 жыл бұрын
​@@NecroPyroLion I'm not actually arguing with you. I was just proving an unusual example. I appreciate it often _aligns_ commonly with a race due to historical geographic isolation. But my point remains, an accent is merely regional. There is nothing about genetics that makes you speak a particular way. It's immediate surrounding culture that does that.
@TheKep
@TheKep 2 жыл бұрын
@@NecroPyroLion meh it’s not racial at all. Chinese people born in Australia speak with Australian accents and Indian people born in England speak with English accents so gtfo
@WolfgangHood8404FMF
@WolfgangHood8404FMF 2 жыл бұрын
I’m so stoned I’m in FOOKIN tears mate, FOOKIN hell.
@artvandaley8839
@artvandaley8839 Жыл бұрын
7:08 Tom saying "she doesn't know" is my new ringtone
@roosterd4331
@roosterd4331 2 жыл бұрын
"That's Kevin, why you crying so much right now?" Lmfao 🤣🤣
@hansel2001
@hansel2001 2 жыл бұрын
100s of stand-up routines. First time I’ve cried laughing.
@frankborder
@frankborder Жыл бұрын
that is the most amazingly accurate sweet chinese grandma imitation i have ever heard
@MrKuritsuka
@MrKuritsuka 5 ай бұрын
"And she killed herself, she's dead, so..." That delivery was priceless!!!!
@mikedelisle1721
@mikedelisle1721 2 жыл бұрын
"First of all ...do you know how hard it is to that impression (Chinese)...without squinting??" Funny shit.
@jessebigfoot
@jessebigfoot 2 жыл бұрын
As someone who has Tourette Syndrome, this was hilarious!
@kalikasurf
@kalikasurf 2 жыл бұрын
Would’a been cooler if you wrote fuck, for no reason………
@nazz2406
@nazz2406 2 жыл бұрын
I know it shouldn't be glamorized but sometimes the things that are said are really cute and sometimes really funny. I've heard that some ticks can be painful n I'm sorry for that. Thanks though for being of good cheer about it. Sometimes we laugh because it sounds funny not because you have the condition. Honestly yall sometimes say exactly what were all thinking but too afraid to say.
@boxelder9167
@boxelder9167 2 жыл бұрын
If you ever need to go to the DMV I will gladly take you for free.
@angelfish2719
@angelfish2719 2 жыл бұрын
@@nazz2406 As a person who has severe Tourette's thanks for remembering that it is still a disability as well. Don't worry about laughing it's really funny we can laugh too. Just thank you for knowing that it's a disability too.
@cookingonwheels2695
@cookingonwheels2695 2 жыл бұрын
As a disabled person, I appreciate you making jokes about disabled people because I feel the more you can relate to a joke the funnier it is. And the only people that get offended are…. People that arnt even disabled 💀💀💀
@berlinocelot
@berlinocelot 2 жыл бұрын
I said "issabitovawiffleidn'it?" to a random Britsh person and straight away they said back "itISabitofawiffleIDn'it!?"
@graygigandalf1692
@graygigandalf1692 2 жыл бұрын
The Tourette’s part made me howl uncontrollably mid flight, and that never happens. Maybe the funniest bit of all time.
@farischugthai5598
@farischugthai5598 2 жыл бұрын
I think MacKenzie Dern, a professional UFC fighter, is another possible example of foreign accent syndrome. A girl born and raised in Phoenix, whose probably taken a lot of big shots to the dome, speaks with a crazy Brazilian accent.
@1luv4204life
@1luv4204life 2 жыл бұрын
In all seriousness tho I think you’re right. She’s full blown Brazilian accent
@a.m.scape_5133
@a.m.scape_5133 2 жыл бұрын
That Brazilian 🍆 got her acting funny
@rolandovaldivia9847
@rolandovaldivia9847 2 жыл бұрын
Her father is Wellington "Megaton" Dias, he is brazilian and her jiu-jitsu instructor. So, obviously she got that accent from him
@poodymeiner3125
@poodymeiner3125 2 жыл бұрын
@@rolandovaldivia9847 but like her accent went from typical white girl to almost 2nd language English accent. Yeah she did probably get it from her dad, but she’s put some dedication towards that sus accent
@ramirospinelli6453
@ramirospinelli6453 2 жыл бұрын
She is half brazillian with a brazillian husband, every house in witch she ever lived speaks portuguese as native, and you are shocked that she has an accent?
@Badenhawk
@Badenhawk 2 жыл бұрын
I had a patient who came back from her stroke with a funny accent lol. She says "what the hell" but it always sounds like " oh wat da hai-o" lol, she's so awesome.
@rogersockwell
@rogersockwell 2 жыл бұрын
Every Tom Segura clip making me more of a fan with each of his bits. I love a good, screwy effed-up comic perspective to life.
@thomasfin7225
@thomasfin7225 2 жыл бұрын
This gave me hope, comedy isn’t dead
@I_like_turtles_67
@I_like_turtles_67 2 жыл бұрын
Yeah. Tom is pretty damn funny.
@I_like_turtles_67
@I_like_turtles_67 2 жыл бұрын
@Foofy Foofer AH yes. The Southpark smelling farts and Ike tripping balls 😆
@FutureBereaAlumn
@FutureBereaAlumn 2 жыл бұрын
Not all tics are verbal. Some are physical. Imagine having to physically tic after having surgery.
@user-gn4ts8jb7n
@user-gn4ts8jb7n 2 жыл бұрын
I could have sworn you wrote "psychic"
@DJMoiyMoiy
@DJMoiyMoiy 2 жыл бұрын
@@user-gn4ts8jb7n 🤣
@fightingecho262
@fightingecho262 2 жыл бұрын
I have physical tic too due to some medication I was on for a really long time. My whole body will just seize up sometimes (which is terrifying when I'm driving)
@sally.gatenby
@sally.gatenby 7 ай бұрын
I watched this on a flight and cried with laughter, and the hostess brought me tissues because she thought I was sad. And the look she gave me when I showed her the title of the clip ….
@larrymanns364
@larrymanns364 2 жыл бұрын
This dude can always make me laugh no matter how shitty my day has been. He is a treasure.
@kkryder9176
@kkryder9176 2 жыл бұрын
The funniest disabilities are the ones as a result of 40 year old men trying to do a lay-up to defeat Burnt Chrysler
@royroos8036
@royroos8036 2 жыл бұрын
Aaaaaaaaaaaay 😂👌🏻
@holymacarenafin2319
@holymacarenafin2319 2 жыл бұрын
Lmfao if you knew anything about it youd say he already won. Had no need to do that last one.
@kkryder9176
@kkryder9176 2 жыл бұрын
@@holymacarenafin2319 Defeat him emotionally. Stop being so low and loose ya chodester
@kylegray5681
@kylegray5681 2 жыл бұрын
"and she killed herself, shes dead" LMFAOOOOOOO
@erikkline3602
@erikkline3602 2 жыл бұрын
i’m in tears watching this tom is too funnt
@mk2gabby54
@mk2gabby54 2 жыл бұрын
I will never not laugh at Tom Segura’s jokes man 😂
@galaxylucia1898
@galaxylucia1898 2 жыл бұрын
I’ve never really watched his stand-up before, but this is unbelievable! I had tears rolling down my face from laughing so hard😂🤣🤣🤣
@r0br33r
@r0br33r 2 жыл бұрын
Your life must be a giant unfunny joke
@Budorb
@Budorb 2 жыл бұрын
I watched this while eating meat and rice. That was a mistake. Almost died choking on the rice from laughing so hard
@r0br33r
@r0br33r 2 жыл бұрын
You almost did a good thing, damn!
@lowkeylokii4205
@lowkeylokii4205 2 жыл бұрын
did you make stroke noises?
@l.w.paradis2108
@l.w.paradis2108 2 жыл бұрын
How is your, um, nose?
@dakotadad8835
@dakotadad8835 2 жыл бұрын
The YMH podcast with Tom and His wife Christina P is absolutely fantastic, one of my favorites they’re hilarious
@nixhex12
@nixhex12 2 жыл бұрын
Tim and Tina you mean
@jonathanmartin6943
@jonathanmartin6943 2 жыл бұрын
To say this dude is funny is an understatement. He killed it. I haven’t laughed that hard in forever. 😂
@disgruntledvet28
@disgruntledvet28 2 жыл бұрын
5:40 I had tears running down MY eyes lmfao LOL!
@becomingsane9870
@becomingsane9870 2 жыл бұрын
I love Tom's side eye!
@chadgraber4575
@chadgraber4575 Жыл бұрын
"How come..... nobody else.... is laughing" lol
@gund2281
@gund2281 2 жыл бұрын
That god there are at least a few comedians left who will tell the offensive jokes. This is the first time I've heard of this Tom fellow, but he may have just joined my short list of favorite comedians.
@wwrussell180
@wwrussell180 2 жыл бұрын
If there is a funnier routine, please direct me there. I've watched this routine eight times. I laughed hard each time. It's glorious!
@upbiggerbetteralways3297
@upbiggerbetteralways3297 2 жыл бұрын
I laughed so hard. This might be the funniest 8 minutes I’ve had in years. Thank you!
@char3679
@char3679 2 жыл бұрын
The catholic kid with Tourette’s! Omg! 🤣🤣🤣🤣 when you laughed under your breathe and asked why no one was laughing, I spit a mouthful of water all over my phone.... out the nose and all! Thank you 🤣🤣🤣🤣🙏🤗❤️
@Ben-gj6is
@Ben-gj6is 2 жыл бұрын
Tom he's soo natural...his jokes hits you differently...he's crazy
@Stoatfacelanust
@Stoatfacelanust 2 жыл бұрын
As an English person I have NEVER heard ANYONE said "it's a bit of a wiffle" - But I'm gonna start using it!!!!! :)
@thekomiker1
@thekomiker1 2 жыл бұрын
Underrated comedian for the past 10 years... He's one of the greatest
@r0br33r
@r0br33r 2 жыл бұрын
Really isn't, and isn't a comedian either.
@LokiDWolf
@LokiDWolf Жыл бұрын
This was HILARIOUS!!! And delivered perfectly! 🤣🤣🤣
@raptorsan85
@raptorsan85 2 жыл бұрын
"10k or a quilt" took me like 10 sec which made it even more hilarious
@J.Young808
@J.Young808 2 жыл бұрын
I laughed so hard at the Turrets bit my head hurt after.
@Olixer109
@Olixer109 2 жыл бұрын
Haven’t laughed out loud in a while 😂 Thanks Tom
@arcobow97
@arcobow97 2 жыл бұрын
“That shit never got old” 🤣🤣🤣
@ErinJeanette
@ErinJeanette 2 жыл бұрын
I love the way he makes those grunting sounds and bops around a little, it's just funny af
@jayerwahlgren4735
@jayerwahlgren4735 2 жыл бұрын
5:52 Tom channeling Cartman 😂
@willtheangrydudeist9120
@willtheangrydudeist9120 2 жыл бұрын
Tom is Cartman grown up..... ❤❤❤❤❤❤
@marthflores3515
@marthflores3515 Жыл бұрын
"She killed herself. She's Dead?" GOLD
@garyvoegele613
@garyvoegele613 2 жыл бұрын
One of his best videos on here....absolutely hilarious!!!
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