UPDATE: 8:09

When she started calling him possessive and trying to make him seem like the problem, that means she already moved past the quilty mindset and is fully committed to her affair.

I would’ve texted the best friend “Well my wife is dead to me so enjoy her, seems like you have a thing for dead wives”

“The saddest thing about betrayal is that it never comes from enemies, it comes from those you trust the most.”

This horrifies me.. my dad was cheated on by my own mother right after I was born, and no matter how much he tried to hide it and let me have a relationship with her, I could see his pain and never felt any kind of trust or bond with her. One of my main goals in life has been to be a better woman, a better mother, a better person than her. I just don’t see how you could say that you love someone and then turn around and betray them so deeply. Edited for grammar.

Cheating is not a mistake it's a choice.

"Dont ever question my love for you" she says after giving dudes friend the gluc gluc 720 twist edition

The whole "exciting" and "taboo" thing is just a nicer way of saying "I got off on disrespecting you. It wouldn't feel as good if I just left you for him without cheating because the pleasure came from me screwing you over and disrespecting you as well as our relationship".

God that email made me wanna puke. She hates how much she hurt him but not enough to stop and come clean after the first time? And no emotional cheating is not "better" than physical cheating.

Connected on a much deeper level. She fell in love with a cheater, they had one thing in common the death of a loved one. And yet she fell in love with him, a cheater, that sure says a lot about her character.

"She said . . . .she said . . . she said . . . she said . . . " Dude, who cares what she SAID! You walked in on your friend BENDING YOUR WIFE OVER THE NIGHT STAND. Read very carefully: ZERO HOPE WHATSOEVER FOR YOUR RELATIONSHIP. Divorce her immediately, and while you're at it, kick Dave out of your life, too.

Notice how in the e-mail she didn't apologize once. She did however describe her affair like she was talking to her best friend, the excitement, how they connected on a much deeper level. Then she writes she still has feeling for but her feeling for op are stronger. Yay! "I'm fucking Dave and still have feeling for him but YOU'RE MY SOULMATE, COME BACK". Translation: "I had my fun with Dave and it was so exciting but I don't want to lose the stability and things you provide. Also I don't know why I did it to good luck guessing if I'll do it again" This is disgusting. I would puke reading that if I was OP. It's over.

She's still seeing and talking to Dave as stated in the "he's sorry too" it won't end here

She is just another cake eater. It was not a mistake. It was a betrayal. Trust is like a vase. Once it is shattered, it will never be the same again. Might as well get a new vase.

They say you never fully heal if you stay . I did stay and 21 years later I can say that this is absolutely true. You never fully heal as her very presence can trigger sadness, anger and regret. Trust me when i say leave.

She manipulated and gaslit through every single step of the way. This was no mistake, she consciously and willingly slithered her way past every obstacle so she could duck him.

She decided to lie to him every time he brought up how uncomfortable he was and gaslit him into feeling guilty. She says "it just happened" even though it was conscious on her part. "I have feelings for Dave, that I won’t deny. But those feelings are nowhere near as strong as the feelings I have for you." Obviously strong enough to spend less and less time with op, get your intimacy from Dave instead and to gaslight op instead of stopping to hurt him... I will never forget the words a betrayed wife gave as advice: "I kept wondering why he did it. Maybe just because he had the chance... but then I realized that there are hundrets or maybe thousands of conscious decisions before anything actually happens." This advice really put things into perspective for me.

As a quick edit to her email: "I'm sorry I got caught." That about does it.

"I love him but love you more"bull shit if she did she could have keep her legs close man need to block her and and him making sure contact is threw lawyers just give his lawyer number then say"you dont love me more if you did you could have close your legs now then all communication will be threw my lawyer if you do love me make this as amicable as possible" then total block

so she says to OP “dOnT eVeR qUeStIoN mY lOvE fOr YoU” but yet she slept with OP’s best friend...hmmm...i may not be super smart, but ik that cheating on someone doesn’t mean that you love the person who you cheated on: OP’s wife has no respect for OP at all

There was a further update to Story 1. It was a long update so I’ll try to summarize it: OP moved ahead with divorce. He moved out and into his own apartment and made arrangements to take a job out of state. Sue continued to try to contact him, but he didn’t respond. He only read a letter that she wrote him where she explains that had been to counseling and that the only reason she cheated on him was because she had self-esteem issues. According to this letter, her self-esteem was so bad that her infidelity was inevitable. As in, if she hadn’t cheated with Dave, she would’ve cheated with someone else. Anyways, OP files for divorce and Sue gets served. She confronts him at his apartment-begging, crying, the usual stuff-and he just let her in so that they can talk. Long story short, Sue lied in the email she wrote OP that’s featured in this video. Her affair with Dave had been going on for several months. So much so, that when Sue suddenly found herself pregnant (that OP did not know about) she didn’t know who the father was (yeah, she was having unprotected sex with Dave). So she admitted that she aborted the baby because she didn’t know who the father was, and that understandably pissed OP off. After that he had zero interest in talking to her and had to threaten to call the cops to make her leave. Sue predictably tried to convince him that they could “work through it” but OP shut that down real fast and told her about his transfer out of state. The update ended with the revelation that Sue attempted suicide a couple of days later but survived. This threw OP for a loop and he asked for advice from Reddit because he didn’t know what to do. OP hasn’t made any further replies since.

Well cheaters are meant for each other . Just like trash ends up in a trash yard

Dave surely moved on fast from grieving his wife. Oh wait, he never loved her in the first place, since he had cheated her many times. Guys like Op's "best friend" should be avoided, because as easy as they hurt/betray people they are romantically involved with, that easy they will hurt/betray their friends.

That "wife" is disgusting. Her 'letter' says it all.

man... my heart hurt from reading this guy story.. and I fell enraged by the wifes letter...

Any person who will knowingly destroy (or risk destroying) the two closest relationships you have in your life doesn't love you. Only a complete scumbag would go ahead with this kind of behavior, wife or "friend."

Of course she doesn't want to leave op for Dave she knows damn well he's going to be cheating on her in a real short time 😂😂 and she'll be the one in pain . Op needs to thank Dave if it wasn't him now it's be Chad or tyrone in the near future at least he caught on and can move on with his life before they had kids and it turned into a real mess 🙄

Wife got the "7 year itch". SMH She eluded to it while talking about getting the tingles, something new, & how it's taboo. She will do it again if the OP takes her back.

I believe her when she says she regrets it, after being caught, and that she got swept up in the taboo and excitement of something new. Who cares though? Cheating is cheating. It doesn't matter how genuinely sorry you are. When trust is gone, it's dead.

The fact that he's even CONSIDERING reconciliation SMFH

Wait....you have a friend who was constantly cheating on his wife and was sad and sent your girl to him....tf is wrong with you

His first misstep was letting his wife be too close to a friend, because we all know, that it's always the coworker or best friend lol

Lesson of the day kids Trust people and they will backstab you in the worst way imaginable

She has feelings for dave. Enough said

She's not making honest with everyone for no reason, she had no choice as everyone would find out anyway, so don't feel she's making progress by admitting it. That is emotional blackmail. She thought it over thoroughly, all aspects including your feelings, & decided it was worth it to lie & cheat with your best friend. Nothing will change those facts, she knows what she was doing would destroy your marriage & she did it SEVERAL TIMES THIS WEEK but trust her...your feelings will never be safe with her again, this proves it. Hardest part is letting it go, marriage, plans for future, & your best results will come from starting over with a new woman. Woman fight each other to have marriage-able, honest, committed men like you in their lives. Find the possibilities, not someone you know doesn't match you. Isn't honest as you. Isn't as loyal as you. Willing to care & help others. World wide strife & THIS IS THE BEST SHE COULD DO FOR YOU, CHEAT WITH BEST FRIEND? Stop looking to her, its a hard habit to break. Look to actions, not just the words.

Op’s response to her email could’ve been, “I fell in love with a girl in collage, not a woman that betrayed her husband.”

The fact that his wife admitted she has feelings for his best friend (who also cheated on his dead wife multiple times) means this will lead to a bigger disaster. I hope OP doesn’t take her back. OP divorcing her and living a better life is the ultimate payback. Moral of the story: don’t be a nice guy. Be better than the scumbags.

He needs to keep all of the emails his wife and friend sent him and give them to his lawyer. Those will be evidence in the divorce hearing.

“She said she was going to her sister’s for the weekend because she needed some space from me because I was driving her crazy with my accusations,” *proceeds to do the thing that he was accusing her of*

Let this be a lesson: this man was a good guy, he trying to help is friend who is clearly an alpha who cheats and sleep around and OP didnt realizing it send her wife in his arms. Wife discover that alpha nature of bf and hypergamy kicks in. Dont be a nice a guy.

Feel sorry for OP but think divorce is the right action here. She says loves him, he’s everything, but she could be cold, distant and checked out of relationship well off into the lead up to getting caught. She doesn’t know why. If op were to forgive and reconcile he’d be back in the same position in short order. My feeling is she was shocked to be caught and is scrambling to preserve her lifestyle and routine rather than repair the damage.

Go NC, leave her and take and protect what you can. You can never trust her again and if you stay it will haunt you forever. You will suffer if you stay.

She knew things were escalating and continued to go back. If she felt any guilt from the first tapping, it didn't keep her from going back for more. Love is a lie. Honest women are as rare as unicorns.

When they say they only did it once they did more than that When they say they don't love them its more than that When they say they aren't in touch with them they are.

Wife got played by a cheater. Cheaters know what to say and he sounds like an expert. She just doesn't know it yet.

How utterly vile. Exclaiming that she’d never do something like that while on her way to do it is beyond despicable.

Why do they always say, "I can explain..." when there's no possible explanation that makes cheating OK?

I would love to hear what the wife would say after saying "I can explain".

Boy, do I have a juice updates for this story. Brace yourselves because this is going to get wild. So I took some time off of reddit and other social media to reflect on my marriage and the steps I was going to take moving forward. I was getting lots of advice from the kind people on here as well as family and friends. However, I wasn't sure what I really wanted. A lot has happened since then so this might be a novel. Bear with me. When I looked back on the marriage most of it was filled with little else but happy memories, which is why I was trying so hard to find a reason to stay. However, when I started thinking about her cheating, how she and Dave gaslit me and made me question my sanity, the only thing I felt was rage. The deeper I looked, the angrier I got. I will never forget how angry Sue would get when I questioned her on where she'd been when she came home late, or the disgusted look Dave gave me when I asked him, man to man, if there was anything going on between him and my wife. The cheating was bad enough, and even worse was that it was with my best friend. But the gaslighting. The fucking gaslighting. I will never get over it. Fair enough, I was played like the fool I was, but it takes a special kind of person to lie so effortlessly and so well. I don't know how they were able to flip the switch like that. I remember one night when she came home late, about 2 days before I found out, she was telling me how much she loved me and how horny she was when she was driving home thinking about me. Now I am almost certain she had come home from Dave's because she wasn't wearing any panties. She had sex with both of us back to back. I fucking kissed her. This whole situation made me feel like a wimp. How could I have let them walk all over me like that? I feel so emasculated. The more I reflected, the more I got the urge to head over to Dave's. But I couldn't. There is no justice for me, not with our justice system. They get to torment me, assault me mentally, but if I retaliate, I'm the one who gets put in jail for who knows how long. I spoke with my lawyer about this and she urged me not to do anything stupid. Not only would I go to jail, but I would jeopardize my chances in the divorce proceedings. She suggested I see a therapist, but I don't want to. I don't see the need. I was still getting spammed with emails from Sue, and they were just making me angrier. She was still spewing the same nonsense as before, and how miserable her life would be without me. She even had the nerve to send me bible verses on forgiveness. If I mattered that much, why do it? I started going to work again because I wanted to be busy. Being distracted has really helped me cope better, and I don't drink as much as I was at the beginning. One day while at work I received a letter from Sue. I wanted to just throw it away but decided to read it. In it, she talked about her individual counseling and how it helped her discover some underlying issues she was having with herself. The biggest of all being her low self-esteem. She explained that the discrepancy in our attractiveness made her very self-aware and that deep down she wanted to feel desired by someone other than me. According to her, her sister has always been much prettier than her and this contributed to her low self-esteem. she said that even though she knew I was attracted to her and that I made her feel beautiful, she sort that validation from someone else. She apologized again and said it wasn't an excuse, but that she was simply looking for a way to make sure it never happens again if should I decide to give her another chance. She then proceeded to ask if we could try marriage counseling to work things out. I still didn't respond to anything she or her family sent me at this point. So I just ignored it. Anyway, I started the divorce proceedings and the first order of business was splitting our finances, and unfortunately, I couldn't untangle myself from her without her consent. We each have separate accounts, as well as a joint savings account, and unfortunately, I can't take what I'm entitled to from it without her. Even though I make significantly more than she does, and have contributed the most to the money in that account, I'll probably have to split it with her 50/50. So I just proceeded with filing the divorce papers. She was served a few weeks ago, and then the shit show started. The very day she was served, she showed up at my apartment with the divorce petition in her hands. I don't know how she found out where I was. We just stared at each other for what felt like forever, and all the pain from that night came back. All the emotions I felt returned with renewed vigor. I almost teared up again, but I didn't. She looked like she had been crying and she rushed towards me and tried to give me a hug. I gently pushed her away, and this somehow made her hysterical. She started shouting, asking why I was giving up on us so easily, and if we could just talk it out. At this point, I figured I just wanted to get away from her. Looking at her gave me a wave of different emotions so I wanted to get away before I did or said anything I would regret. I tried going back to my car and she threw herself on the top of the hood. I asked her what she wanted, and she said she just wanted to talk things through; that we couldn't end our marriage in such a manner without at least clearing the air. I relented because she was clearly not taking no for an answer and was making a scene. We got into my apartment and I just sat down and listened to what she had to say. Again, she said she would do anything to save our marriage, that she doesn't love Dave, that she's sorry. She said she did some research on how we can move forward and suggested a trial separation. In this separation, she said I could date whoever I wanted, but that I should hold off on the divorce and at the very least give her the chance to mend our friendship, and then our relationship as husband and wife. She suggested a lot of other crazy stuff like a one-sided open marriage in my favor, tried showing me stories of other couples who have survived infidelity, and even suggested that we should just move to a different state or even a different country, just the 2 of us. That part kinda hurt me because we had spoken about moving and starting our family not too long before all this shit happened. When she was done, we just sat there in silence, again just staring at each other. And then I asked her why. Why him? Why cheat on me with him and then come back only after I caught her? She started sobbing really hard when I asked these questions. She said she felt really guilty even during the acts but that she didn't know how to stop. That she was so deep in the affair that he didn't think of the consequences and what she was going to lose. She said that the counseling made her realize that she probably would have cheated on me at some point, if not with dave then with someone else. This was supposedly because of the same underlying issues that she was unaware of. I asked her if she loved Dave, and she promised me she didn't love him. That they haven't spoken since I left and that she doesn't even know where he is now. That she loved only me and would do anything to make up for what she has done to us. I asked her if she had ever cheated on me before all of this, and she swore on her dead father that this was the first and last time. I asked her who else knew about her and Dave. She hesitated and said only her sister, but that she only knew about it a few days before I found out, and that she implored her to end it and come clean to me. You guys who suggested that the sister knew were spot on. I also asked her why she was begging. Why she didn't just leave to be with Dave. I asked her if she was only doing this because she felt like it was the right thing to do, and not because she actually wanted to be with me. She answered saying that she was doing it because she loves me and because she knows she made some horrible choices. We talked for a long time. A lot of crying on her end but not for me. I had cried enough when I first found out and didn't have any more tears to shed over this. Then I asked her if there was anything else she wanted to tell me: if there was anything else she was keeping secret. She started sobbing again and asked me not to get angry. I got really nervous when she said that. She started crying for a bit before I urged her to just say it because she was making me uneasy. Then it came out. She said she found out she was pregnant not long after I had left and that she got an abortion because she wasn't sure who the father was. She said she thought if it turned out to be Dave's there would be no room for reconciliation, and she felt she had to do it. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I was in shock and she started begging even more not to let this be the end of our relationship. I just went numb. I asked her to leave and she begged me to stay. That we still needed to talk. All this begging was simply infuriat.

Damn felt pain reading this one mans tried his best to help people he cared to jus to get smacked in the face

Wow she's still got feelings for him and op still considering reconciliation😕 give this dude a round of slap in the FAACEEE!!😡

He was the last person she wanted to hurt, but he is the first person she hurt.

Hope to have a final update with this,is he going to divorce or there's a reconciliation..pls update us. Thanks

I love to know what excuse his former friend excuse was. Also don't meet your former friend you will attack him. I know I have been there for that one. Not worth it just ghost him. You can talk to your former wife. To have closure. Beyond that ghost her after her you hand her the papers.

I've listened to dozens of these stories and every time the woman is caught she screams, "Wait! I can explain!". Funny enough, the explanation is never, "Well, you see, page 632 of the Kama Sutra says I should put my left leg behind my head in a downward dog while the AP slams me from behind while in a head stand..."

Never ever ever introduce a member of the opposite sex into your married life. Never. No invites for dinner, a party, support group, nothing. Keep friends away from your spouse. My friends and acquaintances have never met my wife or even know her name and I plan to keep it that way forever. That's how far I keep them away from my wife and it has served my marriage well.

Red flags are when they talk about their dislike for your friend that fools around. The biggest red flag is when they say eeewww about the same person.

These reddits are the sole thing keeping me from ever getting married. Just one horror story after another...damn.

Once a line gets crossed, it gets easier to cross it again and, even if she is true forever, OP will still suffer with suspicion, anxiety and doubt.

I love it when they say: "I never meant for any of this to happen" when they were the ones who chose their actions!

For future reference, if your wife starts spending more time with her "friend" than you, either in person or on the phone, yeah that relationship is finished. "Love is attention" and attention is a limited resourse, so if she's willfully channeling it to him, then you are no longer the most important person in her life.

My (25m) wife (22f) cheated on me with my best friend. It's the same old story around. When they are 30yo they ask where the good guys are. 🙄 Now I'm 39.

Why do I keep watching? I haven't even been in a serious relationship!😂

There’s only one thing to do...thank her for the email admitting the affair & give to lawyer as evidence. Start the divorce process immediately. Time will heal the wound, I promise. Focus on yourself & watch her crumble.

Keep your best friend close and thank him that he showed you what you got yourself into.. And in future whenever you feel like she might be the one introduce him to her

DIVORCE!!!!! Don't give her nothing but take everything.

I'd be willing to bet they already had something going years ago and this was perfect opportunity to rekindle..and I'd bet this wasn't the only guy she was cheating on husband with.

Cheaters: "It just happened" Translation: "I'm gonna pretend that I'm not at fault for my choices. Because what happened was within my control but I'm still gonna try to deflect and avoid accountability".

Her email made me want to gag. She kept trying to compliment him in between confession as if to cushion what she did. It's a classic move of manipulation. And then "Don't question my love for you" sealed it.

NO STRESS WHEN YOUR SINGLE & ON YOUR PURPOSE ACHIEVING YOUR GOALS ! 👍

god the wife's email ticked off the affair bingo card

Every time I listen to a cheater say “I love you” & “you’re my soulmate “ I throw up a bit im my mouth

The wife and friend's gaslighting is proof that neither of them were truly sorry for what they did other than being caught.

Every single time OP questioned them they had a chance to come clean and chose to take advantage of OP'S kind intentions. She is just trying to keep OP and the friend. Everyone in her family only worry about her NOT OP. Go OP find your self a good, honest and loyal woman and a real friend.

And of course, it wasn't cheating, it was just an "entanglement"...

Called him possessive, trying to gaslight him, then has the audacity to tell him not to doubt her love. Good riddance.

If Saw was real, I'd nominate OP's wife the first to "survive" one of Jigsaws traps.

You say you don't want people to tell you just to divorce her. But I was in your shoes many years ago. I caught my wife cheating on me when I came home early from work sick & she was doing my friend she was naked and he was in his boxers both sitting on the couch with his arms around her. He wasn't supposed to be there. I didn't have anyone to help me & I had 2 girls at the time (4& 2 1/2)I eventually found out that she was doing multiple men including my older brother and my uncle at the same time(tag teaming)also spit roasting. She wasn't sorry or remorseful she wasn't even sorry she got caught. I was a doormat and took her back many times. She never stopped cheating on me and I eventually found out that none of my children were mine. No DNA back in the 80's. So I Can Say Divorce and move on & mean it. With what I went through it scarred me for life.(not enough therapy on this planet to help betrayed spouse's with what suffering they go through) created by Cheaters.

You have got to give an update to this you can’t leave us hanging like this

Cheating isn't a mistake. It's a choice. A very bad and thoughtless one

That email she sent him made me puke. I'd rather listen to demons in my head rather than having that poor dude read those emails.

I love when there caught they say oh I love and it was a mistake I would have beaten him but prove this guys stronger man than i

Although her email was full of cliches like "it just happened" (it didn't, it went on a long time before it continually escalated and you over rode your conscience to let it happen), that was a relatively good letter. She notes her faults and castigates herself even if it wasn't complete. Maybe my bar is low from listening to such stories where the cheater often takes no responsibility.

When cheaters say "I love you more than anything" it bothers me because if that was true then they wouldn't do it. Truly, they love themselves more than anything which is why they are willing to rip their relationships and live apart for fleeting satisfaction.

Even if they tried to reconcile dude will never forget about what she did and will never look at her the same way.

I hope Dave gets VD and gives it to Sue.

why did this guy let his wife go alone with a guy that was a cheater?

I’m reminded of when I used to watch horror movies as a kid. I listen to these videos and they keep me up at night, but I still find them fascinating.

I still cant wrap my head around the fact that this man got betrayed by his wife and his best friend. That pain would probably suffocate me to the point of passing out🙏😭😭

She wants her own closure from him. If you're ever in that situation, give her nothing. No rage, no contact, no text, no calls, no closure. Leave them to their own disgusting ways and never talk to them again. They are not worth going to prison for or dying for, remember that.

He should tell both of them they lost someone close, he lost 2 people at the same time. They went through trauma bounding, she needs therapy, op needs a divorce or a knife. A divorce would be better. The sister knew. He is being oblivious. She was covering when she said Sue was late because she was never gona show up but knew she was supposed to be there

Damn man... I really feel bad for the guy once he got to the part where he heard his wife moaning then literally caught her bent over at his “best friend’s” house, that shit is tough to take in

No forgiveness. No only OP, but everyone who suffered from infidelity, men or women. Never ever forgive your cheating partner. Never

> Didn't like the friend because he's a known cheater who cheated on his wife multiple times > Goes and cheat on her husband with the same guy she claim she don't like and have no morals LMAO! Can't make this shit up. The cookie cutter response to cheating on him, downplaying the cheating by saying it just escalated... as if they said hey to reach other then she just woke up screwing him. You can't even get closure with cheaters like this since they will only tell you want they feel they need to say instead of getting genuine answers.

After being cheated on, people have the desperate thought to just forgive and try to maintain the life that was built up. The sad thing is tho, that life is already gone. Guys especially will be reminded of her infidelity for years as long as they keep seeing her face

Heard this story from another youtube channel. There are a few more updates. The ex wife tried to kill herself, got committed to a psych ward and later suffered a stroke and immobilized left half of her body.

"Don't ever question my love for you. It's real." STOP THE CAP. STOP THE CAP RIGHT NOW STOP THE CAP BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA 😹

After reading that email you should have responded with, cool, hey for now on, all contact is through my lawyer. You'll be a free agent to explore any and all feelings with whomever you want. Good luck in life and I wish you the best :-). Then move forward in a positive, healthy direction. Your new life will be so much better without her and Dave.

My blood is boiling just hearing that story (initial story). And that level of gaslighting is just incredible.

This is why you never let your male friends around your wife alone. No matter the intent.