As a theatre person, I feel this movie proves that this show should never have been made into a movie. The show itself is just monologues (Basically) with very little plot, which is a show type that doesn't really exist in film. Theatre doesn't always translate to film because it can get away with a lot more.

Okay, so here's the thing. They already had a film version of this movie. They basically just hired a bunch of talented Broadway actors to perform the entire musical and they taped it. It's really good because they're just doing the show. They're not adding anything. The thing about Cats is you go see the musical because you want to see good dancing, hear fantastic songs and enjoy the spectacle. The musical is based on poems so they just added a basic plot. That is why I knew the movie was going to fail because they were trying to give Cats a plot when it doesn't really need one. You know that saying if it's not broke don't fix it? It applies here.

Soooooo.... Future Cinematic Excrement episode?

"Kinda like a human wearing a skin coat." Somebody needs to make Silence of the CATS now. Think about it. Calico Bill, Hairball Lecter, Siamese Starling. It would probably be good! LOL

Chris Stuckmann said "this film makes Dragonball Evolution tolerable". For everyone who doesn't know: Chris hates Dragonball Evolution with a burning passion. That's how bad this film is.

I smell a new Cinematic Excrement

I love how every review of this movie starts with a long pause and a refusal to look at a camera. Your pause is the longest I've seen yet.

I agree with the reviewer who said that if the furries had made the film, they would have made it better.

I smell a future Cinematic Excrement review of this film. EDIT: The day this movie is to be reviewed on CE is almost upon us. EDIT 2: I waited four years to see this movie reviewed on CE, and it was worth it.

They should’ve went with Spielberg’s idea to make an animated version of the musical instead of .... the thing you forced yourself to watch. I won’t be surprised if this gets any Razzies noms/wins or ends up in a future Cinematic Excrement video.

When he couldn’t form words at the beginning I clicked ‘like’ because I knew it was going to be a good one. 😂

"Why is this movie?" "No. No. Why would I -? God, no."

I think that it's pretty much a given that this is going to result in a 'Holmes & Watson' situation where people who have to make "Worst Films of the Year" lists will have to change their lists to add this, isn't it?

Barely 2 minutes in and I already love this review.

Im wondering if the Speilberg animated movie would have better, the world will never know.

"Why is this movie?" I'll do you one better. When is this movie?

“The furries are gonna love this one” they do not. They really hate this..... thing.

I'm fairly certain I can hear people writing apology letters to Joel Schumacher and his Phantom of the Opera movie at this very moment. Say what you will about Gerard Butler's singing - there's plenty to say - but at least he and the movie are nice to look at.

In 2010, Tom Hooper's film The King's Speech won the Academy Award for Best Picture In 2019, Tom Hooper's film Cats could very well win the Golden Raspberry Award for Worst Picture

Cats is about cats (most of which are related) in a cult choosing which one to sacrifice and be reborn as a kitten in a better home. They also take time to mate and introduce newbies to their traditions (that don't make a damned lick of sense). It's based on a children's book of disconnected poems and is basically going page by page from the book (minus the mating and actual sacrifice thingy). That's why the dialogue doesn't make sense. I saw the play as a child and recalled it as a fever dream my six year old self made up one night. Nope, saw the play on KZfaq before the movie came out and I'm surprised at how disjointed and nonsensical it all is. I'm surprised so many talented people wanted to do this. Its better on stage when the actual background comes alive and parts are used by the cast when needed because it's a junkyard. It's an interactive set that stays in the junk yard the entire time. I enjoyed it for the detail and use of the set and props. On screen, where the audience is meant to be immersed in the setting, I didn't think it would work. I haven't seen the movie but I'd recommend the 90s DVD release of the play because the actors even talk about how they don't know what the fuck is happening in the plot but you can see they're having fun. Also there's no CGI cat faces. That's a plus.

i haven’t seen the movie, but you summed up my opinion of the stage play. songs were okay at best (minus memory), singing & dancing was great, no plot. but at least staged versions put effort into making it look good

"Cats" has done it. It pranked the whole world to become an instant midnight screening-classic. XD

Actually the plot of the musical was exactly that. A group of cat reunite to choose who will reborn to new live (since cats have nine lives) and each song their deeds and their merits in life. It was basically a talent show were instead of judging your singing ability they judge your live and you win a new live.

This is the first example of Disney live-action remakes being imitated by other studios. In this case, it is a live-action movie based on something that should be animated.

I lost my shit at “horseradish”... You Sir have earned yourself a new subscriber! 😂👏

I wonder if his movie will be nominated for Razzies.

Are you kidding?! With CGI and character design this puzzling and uncanny since Foodfight you really expect me NOT to watch it?

The stage version sucks too, but I guess there's less of an uncanny valley effect because of the costumes and face paint. Also, it was adapted from a book of poems by T.S. Elliot where each poem describes a cat. I guess they didn't do much with that idea.

I've been going to the movies for over 25 years, and I even work at one. And no matter how terrible the film was, I always sat through the end and finished it. No matter how bad and excruciating it was, I knew I had to see all of it before I could properly judge it. That golden rule ended when I saw Cats. Only an hour in, and I had enough. That was the first time I ever walked out on a movie.

I've seen a video of the stage musical of this story when I was young and I'm still reluctant to see this movie version. This is like how Joel Schumacher adapted Phantom of the Opera and his film didn't translate well from the stage musical.

I'mma stick to Rocky Horror Picture Show, thanks.

Musical Stage Show Version - Spoiler Comment No spoken dialogue or plot. Really the stage show is about the cats greeting and telling the you as the audience about them and themselves as Jellicales. The main thing that does happen is that Deuteronomy (Dame Judy Dentch) gets taken by Macavity (Idris Alba character), like the film (for those who seen it) gets brought back by Mistoffelees. And Grizzabela (Jenifer Hudson) gets taken to the Heavyside Layer at the end. As I said before apart from 2 songs which is all spoken in rhyme, the entire show is song and danced throughout. Also the main white cat (Victoria) only has one dance solo in the show and was already apart of the Jellicale Cats x

in 1978 they came out with "Sgt. Peppers Lonely Heart's Club Band" the movie, an awful plot-lite musical film in 2019 they come out with "Cats" the movie, an awful plot-lite musical film Thank you for the warning (wasn't going to see it anyway) if you are going to see it again on blu-ray, considering how awful it is, that may be next week. Happy Holidays

I have never understood the appeal of this musical. Everybody I know that has ever watched it. Has came to the same conclusion. What in the hell did I just watch.

This will be a huge hit at the Razzies. BIGLY!

4:40- Yeah, that's literally what the play is. It's just 'Here's a cat, this is his/her story. Onto the next one.' and even that sounds more like an actual plot than what they give us. If anything, the film gives us more of a plot than the stage show does. The funny thing is, when you think about it, both Peanuts musicals, you know, 'You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown' and 'Snoopy the Musical' did the same thing, but it kinda worked for them because A, the characters were already well known, B, each one got more than one segment dedicated to him/her and C, there was a theme that connected all the vignettes together. Cats has somewhat of a theme to it but not much. This is one of those rare times where I'm just gonna say the film would have been better if they changed the plot. I feel dirty saying that considering the animated King and I did that, but in the case of Cats, you could have left all these songs in but attached them to a different story and it probably would have made for a more interesting film.

I love the part where you say I had to check my drink to make sure it wasn't being spiked.

Waiting for the eventual RiffTrax version to be released.

1:30, no one was asking for this!! It's a box office and critical disappoinment. Critics called it, "Battlefield Earth, bit with whiskers."

Time to read T.S Eliot again

Sounds like a good film for an acid trip.

The only premiere with aTwo drink mimimum

'Fever dream' seems a common reaction to this movie. I'm staying away. Far away....

I think this might end up the most hated movie of 2019 and rightly so. Just from the trailer alone, this should not exist. You’re a braver man than I.

Your face says it all dude!🤣🤣🤣

The long pause at the beginning says it all.

Me..owch.

I look forward to the addition of "Cats" to the series on Razzie worst picture "winners".

Judi Dench was meant to be in the original stage production but she had to pull out (Achilles tendon). Which is why she was in the film

Brave man

I've been going to the movies for over 25 years, and I even work at one. And no matter how terrible the film was, I always sat through the end and finished it. No matter how bad and excruciating it was, I knew I had to see all of it before I could properly judge it. That golden rule ended when I saw Cats. Only an hour in, and I had enough. That was the first time I ever walked out on a movie. I couldn't handle a single brain cell killing second of it. I would have suffered permanent brain damage if I finished the whole movie.

Love your channel. Thanks for your essential service to moviegoers.

Happy holidays, you wonderful man!

This movie might be the one to break the record for most Razzie awards

Long long long silence "Have we been punked?" This is gonna be good

What happened to Tom Hooper King's Speech Les Mesirables Danish Girl This....?? This has to be the worst thing I've seen this year, it beats Serenity, 47 Meters Down and Angry Birds 2

We traded an adaptation of “Wicked” for this. At least that musical actually has a plot and is visually impressive.

Ian Mcellen, Judy Dench, idris elba? ..... looks like somebody’s agent is in trouble

For the record, the names aren't the fault of the movie. SIlly though they may see those are their names in the play. The musical was somewhat odd but it worked. In answer to your question Cinematic Excrement, the play did technically consist largely of the Cats singing songs about themselves as a way of competing to be reborn. However, this was mostly sung and there weren't very many big expository speeches. Come to think of it I believe the play is entirely done in song minus a few lines when introducing a new song. The rough plot was these cats are having a party and trying to see who deserves to get a new life. Then this evil cat Macavity shows up and crashes the party briefly. While the show didn't have too much of a plot considering it was based off a bunch of poems, the wonderful music, great singing, and fabulous choreography totally made up for the lack of plot and made the whole thing super enjoyable. As someone who saw the stageplay live I loved it even if it is a bit weird. I would say the music and choreography are the main draws. The film isn't even comparable. None of the plots about Macavity stealing all the competing cats was in the play. He does get Old Deuteronomy for a bit but Mistoffolees gets him back. Although the Mistoffolees number in the musical is much more high energy and well done. Victoria was a cat in the play but she had a minor role and none of her story about being abandoned was in the play as you can likely guess. Basically, 99% of what I would graciously call "plot" of the film had no basis in the musical. Furthermore, most of the performances were unemotional and the song arrangements sucked. You said you weren't a fan of the songs I would largely blame that on the way they are arranged. They have much more of a musical theatre tone in the stageplay and are much less forgettable. I would suggest YouTubing some of the performances of the songs from the original stage play that was filmed. Also if you thought JH killed Memory I would recommend the original Elaine Paige. JH was alright but Elaine slays the song and has me sobbing every time. The song is supposed to be haunting, beautiful, and nostalgic. JH didn't really portray that in my opinion and sort of yelled the song like she was angry at it. There really isn't much of a competition between her and Elaine. Though I respect those who liked Hudson's version. As for the choreography, judging it as dancer myself, it wasn't very good. With the exception of Miss Hayward. It was pretty bad when compared to the musical. It had none of the energetic joy of the stage musical. I won't even go into the awful CGI. The actors in legwarmers and unitards with cat makeup looked more realistic. In short, this is a story that works best on stage. The filmed version of the Broadway show that exists is actually very enjoyable and I would recommend checking it out if you want to see some good performances. Then again I do get the feeling that this play may not be your cup of tea, although I still say give a good version of the songs a chance. I'll link a few below. I hope this answers your question and for the record, I love your videos. kzfaq.info/get/bejne/htNlqpqYravYen0.html -Memory kzfaq.info/get/bejne/ocCBkrWY1bWWhGw.html - Part one of Mr Mistofflees Part 1 (skip to :31) kzfaq.info/get/bejne/fcigg5aE3daRYYk.html -Opening number

0:00 That is the look of a man who took an enormous quest to review every movie to win Worst Picture...and he knows Cats will come. For Cats last Sunday had won.

The songs were originally poems by T.S. Elliot.

I hope you do a best and worst movies of 2019 Cinematic Excrement.

plot to cats: A house cat meets a crazy ally cat cult where they have an annual talent show, where the winner is sacrificed. At least that's what I think the plot of this movie is.

They should've delayed it like Sonic.

I feel so bad for Tom Hooper right now. He must feel terrible. He at least gets an E for Effort. Poor guy.

The entire production is based on a book of poems about cats that T.S. Eliot wrote, called "Old Possum's Book of Practical Cats." Andrew Lloyd Webber's production for the stage play linked the poems with a tenuous plot, such that the introductory poems about each cat made a bit more sense. Essentially, it was a talent and emotional competition for which cat was deserving to be reborn into the next of their nine lives. Mostly. The movie made more sense if you already had this background, and gave a bit more context than even that.

30'' of near-lifeless silence at the start ?? Oh this will be good... aaaand i certainly wasn't expecting to hear the same advice bout this movie as the one about A Serbian Film.

I have to wait until February 20th to get to see this cat-astrophe in the theater...

Sean has just survived the nightmare fuel that is this movie about human/cat hybrid experiments gone awry. Now he must tell the world or he will rot inside from the trauma of witnessing this abomination of pure evil that we are now in its wake. May God have mercy on us all this Christmas Eve!

Like Catwoman (2004) and Battlefield Earth had a baby.

The face you have on the Video preview says everything I needed to know about this review!

I think I would need drugs to watch this movie. Really good drugs.

memories is the only decent song in the stage musical to, and because of that they do it twice.

Hate to say it, Sean, but I think you WILL have to see it again. I will be shocked if this doesn't get at least one Razzie nomination.

Sonic the Hedgehog the Musical lol

I read the story synopsis, and said “yeah, it’ll be on cable before long. I’m good.”

Why would Anyone want to watch Cats when they're cat videos online to watch.

Yours is the first review I've seen of this that even acknowledged that Taylor She-Who-Will-Not-Be-Mentioned was in this....and your reaction was to check if your drink was spiked. Think that says it all.

The play itself is based on the poem (or poems? Not sure) by TS Eliot, which just explains who the cats are and who gets chosen to be reborn. It’s literally that way in the play, they all have their own musical numbers and then they leave. It really dumb but the music is all very catchy, that’s why it was so popular. I like the play but I have no desire at all to see this film, not one iota.

I sooo want to see this with my own eyes

I'm kinda feeling sick, so it took everything to make me turn around to see if the video was playing...😂

I expect to see a Cinematic Excrement episode dedicated to this movie

30 seconds in, and I already agree. 😆

I've seen the play and yeah there's no plot really in it either.. just intro songs for each cat character... its just a movie about hearding cats...

🤣🤣🤣just the start of your expression, priceless. 👍

Update from the future: since this film has now won 6 of its 9 Razzie nominations, including Worst Picture (the others being Worst Director [for Tom Hooper], Worst Screenplay, Worst Supporting Actor [for James Corden], Worst Supporting Actress [for Rebel Wilson], & Worst Screen Combo [for “any pair of half-human, half-feline hairballs]) Sean is now GUARANTEED to come back to this film as part of his current Worst Picture marathon. Granted, it won’t be until at least 2022 at the current rate he’s reviewing them, but still...pour another one out for this guy when ya get the chance. (P.S.: Jesus Christ Superstar is a WAY better musical than Cats will ever be.)

When this movie wins the Razzie for Worst Picture, please tell me you'll review it in full detail

Watch the 1998 London filmed version, it’s wonderful. This movie looked horrible...

Okay. I have some things say as both and animation student/fan and theater fan: * T.S. Elliot hated the idea of turning his characters "cute cartoon pussycats"; it's why he refused to let Disney make a movie adaption of his poems. * The performances themselves require a ton of acrobatics and ballet. It would be more difficult and less spectacular to see animated cats doing the dances we've seen in the stage show and film. * Even if the film was animated it sill wouldn't have worked because "Cats" does not have a solid narrative structure or consistent tone. So yeah, this is a difficult musical to adapt any way you slice it, but I do have to admire the director and ALW for at least trying to bring this to the screen, sure it was executed poorly, but I still admire the drive; even with Universal being persistent on the holiday release date; which is why a lot of the VFX had a lot of technical difficulties.

the thing about this movie, is only to see each movie reviewers reaction.

Was SO looking forward to your take on this dumpster fire.

So excited for the time when this comes to Sweden. This movie is going to be _legendary._

I have been watching your reviews for years, and I knew I had to watch your take on this movie. I was expecting you to say something along the the lines of “it’s not THAT bad” since you are pretty unbiased and tend to give films the benefit of the doubt. Now I know based on your review that it really IS that bad.

when this film flopped, I said I cannot wait or you to do a review and recap of this mess. CATS is sure going to dominate the Razzies.

Fun fact: This was supposed to be a hand-drawn animated film by Don Bluth.

Judging by the IMDb score, Rotten Tomatoes, all online reviewers and audiences, I am pretty sure you will HAVE to review this film later on, Sean. I mean, when you get to 2020 with your newest series of reviews. It's just bound to happen.

The stage version actually has LESS plot than the film, if you can believe that. There is McAvity kidnap plot in the stage version - and Victoria is also basically an extra with no song, purely a dancer - Beautiful Ghosts was added as the signature song for Swift.

I really hope you'll make a Cinematic Excrement video about Cats just so I can watch your facial expressions.

"[...] like a human wearing a skin coat." So, like a leather jacket?

Since it won the Razzie Awards... that means you have to rewatch it