Complete bullshit that men and women can be strictly platonic friends. I'm a man, I have multiple friendships with women and there's no chemistry at all. We're just friends for years. A couple of them are hot, I've known them since 7th grade and sophomore year of high school. I think of them as sisters. I asked them womanly advice for any scenario. If a woman wanted me to cut them off that will be a huge red flag for me on the relationship not lasting.

@I Cant Stanz It ,

@RedditOutLoud Relationships: Story 2: No, his parents made him realize that the baby is not really his. It was forced sex that resulted in your pregnancy. Don't couldn't him in your life with the baby included, then count him out.

How did this rape occur, did you know guy, did he know guy, did he go to prison. Long story short based on situation he should bounce. He doesn’t need this single mother shit and if the situation involved you making poor choices. He should transform and roll out.

@I Cant Stanz It wow..... just..... wow. Do you think that all women are just placed on this earth to bow down to men or something? Men and women can and do have platonic relationships. My oldest and best friend is a guy. Being raped isn’t “fucking around” either and don’t get me started on the use of the N word. You have some serious issues. I’m kind of curious if you were born that much of a jerk or if you practice in front of a mirror every day?

Yep, leave the rape bit out this relationship was already a shitstorm that was close to ending.

@@emirhaneksioglu4503 Imagine she didn't get r-ped, wouldn't that mean that her boyfriend would have dumped her the next day without feeling guilty? If she wasn't r-ped, it would still be a good idea for her to tell that story, to keep the resources of her bf around.

@@leto1178 That's my theory. She wasn't r*pe and fabricated that story so she can be the victim. There was probably a mutual friend there who saw her doing the hanky panky with her guy friends so instead of the BF finding out about it through their mutual friend, she fabricated the r*pe story to save face and to make her BF believe she was the victim.

Right. There's no telling how many dudes she was sleeping with on the side, even before the incident.

Aren’t we always supposed to believe the woman?

Nope, you tried to help.

@@purplecubeman01 strange assumption from a stranger on the net.

@@nativenight I'm just going by what your saying. You tried your best to give her a heads up, and she ignored it. And she ended up where she ended up.

black air force energy

If she dont wanna to be saved, don't save her - J.Cole

same story from both parties...she is trash

I saw that story too and I think it is the boyfreinds side of what happened, long story short she wanted the d

Wait that's the BF? I seen that story..makes sense

Link to the story?

@@spartan1010101 Sorry, this was a year ago at least, maybe someone in this thread has it/knows where it is though? I'm also pretty sure it was made into a video as well.

The au fucking dactiy to say that shit this man did everything for her and she thought he was cheating on her

That's a woman for you no accountability

she doesn’t think what HE did is worse than cheating. she just feels that it’s more hurtful to her than if he would’ve been cheating on her.

@@everyonesaidmynamewasstupi3713 people don't pay attention to context

@@ozurafgc6235 yup

Like other people say, women want one thing: MORE

Perfect is boring, that's why she stepped out. Even Eve had paradise and everything she could ask for but decided to betray Adam and God with the Devil.

I still don't think she was raped, it just look rare, and number 2 should have aborted the baby because it is not for her man.

@@hydrationrequirement9762 you really don't want Adam to have any responsibility for what happened, when he wasn't forced and betrayed God just the same. And also, the bible is fiction! 😂 It doesn't matter.

@@catarena8031 I don't believe in bible either but find it interesting that the story of Adam and Eve captures women's nature so accurately.

Yes. Plus he was sick and she abandoned him to have fun with people he expressly told her to not be around, she was cheating by doing that.

@@stevenwilson5556 Cheating by being raped by friends she never had any atraction to, is what I hear you say by your statement

@@stevenwilson5556 If she cared more about the BF, she would have stayed home! She chose not to and so now she needs to face it. He's gone.

@juice leaks no you interpreted what he said wrong he isn't saying the rape is cheating. He is saying her priorities to her friends over her boyfriend is cheating. There could have been an emotional affair going on with one of the friends we don't know.

@@1AnimeChannel she did

Slut was in a gangbag and he knows she's full of shit She's holding him hostage and he's waiting till she SAYS she's healed and stops acting so he can dump her.

First OP, I don't think she was violated...

@@johncy11 What makes you say that?

​@@johncy11 Yep, it's her cover story. And the guys she did it with, their lives got ruined too. Horrid woman.

It is her fault though. If only she listen.

Yeah I really don't get this. I remember my last ex (haven't dated in years after her because of the trauma of that ending, but its another story) would go out and get blackout drunk after two weeks of giving birth to our child while we were living at her parents, one night I had a really loud argument with her that the whole family heard. It started with me asking her as reasonably as I could to stay home, she could drink at home and be loud and what not but to just stay home because I didn't like the guys in her new small friend group. See I didn't want to drag her away from those friends because she was struggling with depression after the birth and was dissassociative with our child, I was the main care giver for both our child and my girlfriend, she needed a lot of support and going out had helped her but it turned into partying stupidly. This one night we fought and I was desperate so I demanded she stay at home and watch movies or play video games or something, that I'd personally mix her drinks if she wanted to be waited on. But she refused. Her mother came to me shortly after and said she'd look after our child so I put on some decent clothes and went out after my girlfriend. Long story short, I was right, when I was away helping one of my girlfriend's friend's who had eaten some bad food at the table (she was a driver so hadn't drank anything like me) the boys began feeling my girlfriend up, I actually came back to him groping her breast and she looked rather uncomfortable which was oddly satisfying to me. I untangled her from the boys thanks to how close to being under the table she and they were, a few elbows and well placed pokes got them to curl up and let me extract my girlfriend, I then convinced the other girls to pack it up and both I and the other driver got the girls home safe. My girlfriend was really upset about everything and would flip flop from attacking herself emotionally over it to attacking me. Thankfully our child wasn't exposed at the time (she had a nursery space), unlike OP's BF, I stayed as I hadn't lost my feelings for her but I no longer trusted her with anything anymore and I feel like that was what ultimately ruined our relationship over the next several months. But yeah, she always ignored my gut feelings about people, but I never really stopped her from socializing either.

@@Rexhunterj damn I’m sorry u had to go through that bro. I hope u and ur kid are doing ok, but it’s always good to keep ur head up. If there’s a good guy like u, then there will always be a good girl for u

It's definitely her fault... it's like jumping in a lion cage & blaming the lion for mauling that person. When you put yourself in risky situations and horrific shit happens that is definitely your fault.

@@nationalsocialism3504 as someone that was raped by my ex boyfriend, and also raped by a “friend”, she literally put herself in danger. She wanted to be a pissy bitchy brat, and while NO ONE should be raped, she literally chose to hang around guys that her boyfriend said to be wary of. And it pisses me off because I didn’t get a choice. It was my own boyfriend, I was supposed to trust him not to hurt me. Same with my friend. But she DIDNT EVEN KNOW THESE MOTHERFUCKERS. LIKE if I said hey man, don’t give a knife to Johnny Stabby Hands, he just got out for stabbing people, and you give him a knife, am I supposed to feel even a shred of empathy for you when you get stabbed? Like good grief. I hope her boyfriend leaves her because he’s no longer a boyfriend. He’s emotionally being held hostage into being her caregiver.

We do and we're tired of women accusing us of being "controlling". Most men don't care anymore so we either don't emotionally invest in a relationship or avoid relationships with women all together.

@Britni Watch camile paglia. She said, they fought for women's right to be independent. But she also said, in doing so, they (women) must understand that they have absolved men of any responsibility for their welfare. Women are free to make choices but they are also responsible for the consequence.

Its pretty simple. Men know the fact that there are terribly evil people out there who will take advantage of you in a vulnerable position (men and women both have capacity to carry out evil, just that women are not held as accountable as men), and so when we tell you to trust us that we have a bad feeling about this situation or this person, we are often right. Women call it intuition, men call it instincts. At the end its the same thing, and listening to them is often a good thing. But then, feminists scream bloody murder when we guys offer advice to our women, so go on. Be independent. Just don't expect us to be there for you when harm comes your way.

No man is controlling unless we literally put a collar on a female and chain her to a post. We give them decisions. If you want to hang with guy friends without me there, then you don't want me as your boyfriend and that's your decision. I don't get how people say that giving women decisions to make is controlling when they can choose to leave.

We absolutely do know how other guys think, and we can get a good sense of what another guy is like. A very very small group of men are truly controlling douchecanoes. If we tell you that there are certain guys you are "friends" with that we have a gut feeling are not good company for you to have, we are almost certainly correct about that. If you don't wanna listen to your man about it and wanna go to that social event and violate his trust in you, and it becomes an "I told you so" situation, don't expect us to simply let it go. Women have their their agency and can make their own decisions. Therefore, they should take accountability and responsibility for their own actions.

Not even so much a woman that will listen, as much as one that trusts him.

He needs both

Or one that isn’t damaged. Or one that actually brings something to the table. Or someone who doesn’t thrive on surrounding herself with bad boys who want to fuck her.

Even though it may not sound like he needs therapy, the event certainly has affected him, and therapy could help him work through some of those feelings.

@@PeterCaptainObvious Therapists are scum who make a living telling bad people what they did was OK and their victims to suck it up, Stop giving money to people who hate you.

Agree.

I don't even think she expressed any concerns about what her skanking has done to the adoptive family that has done everything for their outside Princess

Absolutely, she was a wannabe party girl and was probably flirting and leading the guys on. How is it that she was all alone with these guys the entire duration of a party and felt no danger? She did, she liked the attention and wanted to lead them on and see where it goes. She probably ended up in a regret situation mid-way through getting a foursome and the instant get out of responsibility was to cry grape.

​@@loganblackwood2922that's such a male response! That is Disgusting 🤢! I genuinely hope no woman on this planet has the absolute horror of being your wife! Men like you are the reason why Rape Culture exists, and women cannot feel safe, EVER! You always say that it's a lie, cause sureee men are such good boys, they would never do it if she wasn't leading them on, right?? That's why no man trusts other men around their daughter, sister or wife!!!

There was no rape she is lieing

Yup men can sense the intentions of other men .

How was she supposed to know that? She said he has a history of being possessive which probably made her chock it up to noting that doesn’t mean she deserved to her raped for not obeying him

This story was previously told from the BF side. A common friend saw her going upstairs with the guy... she got exposed. The rape was verified the friend.

@@beatmywheat7074 no one is saying that what they are talking about is that guys can pick up on what other guys are like with a short interaction like how women can do the same with other women. It's like a strong gut feeling

@Brighton how

I would too, he did everything to stop her and now he can't stop thinking about it. Plus he blame himself which is not good for his mental health.

I am curious as to why you "hate to say it".

She is responsible for putting herself in the position for what happened. She got drunk and passed out in a party with a bunch of drunk strangers, including horny men. This is not something you do, it is dangerous and was completely disrespectful of her relationship. Even if nothing happened to her, her bf would have every right to be enraged for her doing that.

And rightfully so

@@ChimObiajulu Cos she realises that the whole situation is ON HER. Serves her right.

The whole: "get wasted anywhere away from your partner" is so trashy.

She was not responsible for being raped. However, as a Redditor, you cannot understand that.

@@tardislady9546 I am not a redditor. She is responsible for hanging out drunk near people who are up to no good, and I have doubts about this whole thing being rape and not just a cheater spinning a story.

@@ItamarO93 It is attitudes like yours that are behind the fact that less than 5% of rapes lead to a conviction.

@@FishAnvil the other side of the story theres the bfs side somewhere on reddit where a friend saw her making out with the guy and then proceeded to lead him up stairs

It's all her fault

@@DefeatedElite So women who are raped 'it's all her fault'? You are vile.

Mad respect for that

Bravo. Sad you had to go through that but not a keeper that's for sure.

You may have just avoided a set up.

I bet there were a lot of excuses and crying

You're an inspiration

facts. and then if you wanna act single, imma let you be single

They always label it as the super power of the gender. Logic and intuition is a super power to them while it's common sense for males.

Women who call protection control have terrible relationships to their fathers.

Careful. You ask women to act on logic not on their feeling. Ofc she won t listen

Idk why girls don’t realize that NO guy wants to be “just friends” if it wasn’t rape I bet they still would’ve made a move eventually

That's kinda how people are when they've been in the same relationship since they were teenagers

I think there is a story from guy side too on reddit .It's kind of matches completely ,except for the girl willingly take a guy to make out .So

@@swagatmaharana3131 Similar but they were two different stories/incidents.

@@runlikethewind8928Nah. Same story, just tweaked a little, and fake.

No u r a bit off!!

@@AMANSHARMA-xw8qi ?

@@AMANSHARMA-xw8qi explain

@@AMANSHARMA-xw8qi the girl reeeealy sounds like the guys story, which her friends said she wasn’t drunk (w proof) and went up with them. Snorted the wrong stuff and was out of it at that point. You’ll see it at some point from this channel. You’ll know it when you see it

@@lordofcheeseballs Nope, in the story you mean it's only one guy. Here it's three.

???

@@jmpm-tz1so !!!!!

@@Bentriverrusher jajajaja, im being for real i dont get what you are saying english isnt my first language

@@jmpm-tz1so Well then jmpm. she insisted on going out and getting drunk with seedy male companions against her boyfriends wishes and advice. Everything else happened because of her putting herself in that position. Now she wants to hold boyfriend hostage because of her choices. He should walk or run away from her. She will do this stuff all her life. She is a drama Queen.

@@Bentriverrusher it never says she is holding him hostage, it says that he is staying until she recovers, wich looks like it isnt far away. i wouldnt say she is a drama queen, but i do agree that the series of dumb desitions put her on that situationunfortunatley, that and not doing what everyone else on her position would have done and that is stay with her significant other if he is sick, i know i would have done that in her postition. and i think he is staying for the time being because he is a man and he understands that she has gone through a horrible thing that i dont wish on anyone. apart from this i think we agree on the basic and that is the series of dumb desitions and that if he leaves he wouldnt be on the wrong and it would be more than acceptable. BTW whats a seedy male?, never heard that term in my life

I think it’s just their way of displacing some of the blame. Go to therapy and discover some obscure possible personality flaw or mistake on your part that resulted in my crappy decision. See! We’re both responsible for this tragedy!

@@Neo_Leo85 or maybe she wants him to work through what's bothering him? The guy told her he's grossed out by the thought that other men have been inside her. She was forced! There is something wrong with that mindset. Like, why does everything have to be- "because whamen bad"?

😂😂😂

@@OmegaZeroX28 he's not telling her this now, though. He's telling her that her assaulted privates are off putting! And his previous jealous tendencies might've caused his concerns to be missinterpreted as such.

@@OmegaZeroX28 what I mean is he's not telling her that's his problem when she asks him. I get that it's part of the story And yes, he said he felt sick. I interpreted that as an attempt to get her not to go. Maybe not but it seems like she didn't believe him then either.

He could be, one day, but he still has some growing to do.

@@Maadhawk what growing?

@@blacknoir3476 The boyfriend is lacking some maturity there as well. All parties have much growing, character wise, to do.

@Rock No I can say what the fuck I want. Free world and all that jazz. Boyfriend is NOT 10/10. He is, at best, 6/10. Since you asked so 'nicely' I will break it down for you. By the way, this was all about the first story, so make sure you are on the same page. She was young and dumb and went to a party with some shady guys. She paid the price for it. That seems to be fairly well understood. Honestly, in my opinion, if ANYONE is in a relationship and goes to a party alone, without their partner, they aren't mature enough to make a true long term relationship last. If they were, they would be inviting their significant other to go with them and not going if they couldn't. -As to the guy, he did much of what was required early on. However, he also dropped the ball. He failed to complete the communication and tell her in explicit detail why his "douche bag alarm" was screaming like a geiger-counter at chernobyl. Had he stated point blank he was afraid they were going to try and rape her, and she had still gone, then he would have done better and been 7/10. He didn't.- -To get to an 8/10, he should have gone with her. Had she not wanted him to go, then he would be a 10/10 on the situation and been fully clear to walk away from her.- Change of ratings: I just re-watched bits of the first part again. The boyfriend made a lot of mistakes. *BEFORE I CONTINUE: Let's be clear we are only getting one side of the story, so full judgement cannot be passed on anyone. I am reserving final judgement on both the girlfriend and the boyfriend in the first story.* Her boyfriend is the jealous controlling type. He tried to gas light her into not going to the party by feigning illness instead of saying point blank what his true fears were. He also kept attacking her for having male friends and feared she would cheat on him. Could she have? Given her insistence on going to the party and never once indicating if she had asked her bf to come, I'd say definitely possible had things continued as they were and she had not been raped. She is no saint. He isn't either. So, we have established we don't know if he was asked to come to the party or not, we don't know if he was and declined, we don't know if he told her that he was getting ultra douche bag vibes from her "male friend" and feared she might be attacked and raped, we are told that he was jealous and controlling (means he is insecure, not a sign of maturity that), we are told that there was shouting and screaming, and we are told there was possible gas lighting on the boyfriend's part. Then there is the aftermath. She has been violated, physically and violently. She has just had the biggest "I told you so" moment in her young life to date. Now, the one guy whose instincts she should have trusted more is tossing her out. Instead of being there for her, of being supportive, he is pretty much decided she wasn't raped, but rather that she cheated. *Remember: We weren't there so until the record she presents if proven false, we have to approach the story from the light that it might all be a lie and that it all might be true. We shouldn't cherry pick which part to call true and which to call a lie. Then evaluate things from both sides before coming to a temporary final conclusion without more of the story. **_If this was a trial then she would be innocent until proven guilty base upon a preponderance of the evidence._* That he is willing to walk away from her at this point, assuming she has told us nothing but the truth, then he was already having doubts in his mind as to their future as a couple. As such, I read his actions as that their relationship was already in danger of coming to an end one way or another. Had he been more mature, he would have supported her. He would be furious, yes, but he wouldn't abandon her side either. Assuming this story is true in its entirety, the events of that party would ensure she would never ever leave his side ever again. She would submit to him completely and be glad for it for she would fear all other men and not trust her own judgement of them. Had the boyfriend been truly a good man he would have to have done the following: 1) Accept her male friends as "like her brothers" and trust her. 2) When his "Dangerous Douche Bag Alarm" goes off, be fully explicit when it goes off and why. 3) Offered to attend the party with her. *IF SHE REFUSED: then he would have grounds to break up and not support her past this point. This was NOT a girls only party.* 4) Not try to gas light her into staying home the night of the party. 5) Once she was attacked, should have been furious, yes as is his right, but also been supporting of her. 6) Obtained counseling for her, both private and couples, to help her. He isn't a bad guy, as far as I can tell, but he does have plenty of room to grow. Mistakes were made on all sides.

@@Maadhawk first he didn't gaslight her he got sick after an argument and had a headache and a fever that is very common for alot of people so don't assume he's forcing her to stay because he isn't feeling well. He could've very much not been feeling well. Second you say he's controlling but he isn't he told her I have a bad feeling about X and that was only after I repeat after as she admits in the post she had been spending more time with her male friends than her bf and he had a bad feeling about 1 in particular. Third if he had told her oh I think they're trying to rape you and used that to get her to stay home guess what people would say he's being manipulative and that she should dump him see how that works? He has to tiptoe his way around that topic because it can easily be used against him by people to say he's trying to control her so that isn't a good suggestion. So as the former guy said he had almost no faults the only fault he has is not seeking therapy for his childhood trauma on cheating clearly it affected him alot and he need therapy to get over it.

Fax

Sad to see so many people victim-blaming OP in these comments. Makes me lose faith in humanity. Where's the admonishment of the rapists?

@@xTwilightWolvesx no one's blaming her for getting raped. She made decisions, sucks she got raped. But she cheated and that has consequences. Very few is even considering OP's feelings on this.

@@rickrollrizal2364 She cheated? Dude, what kind of messed up world do you live in where someone getting raped counts as cheating? She didn't cheat, that's not cheating.

@@steel0koala cheating isn't just the act. She got raped. I feel for her. But she made the conscious decision to ignore BF when he said no and went with friends. It's like that other story when the wife met up with the ex alone. They made out, but then ex raped her. The intent to cheat was there, it just ended badly.

No kidding. Sick of hearing from women how there is nothing wrong with hanging out all day with a "guy friend". As if those "guy friends" don't have other things on their minds. Crazy how naive these party girls are.

@@someone-ji2zb you guys blame the guys too much. I watched women fuck tour the party groups while being "loyal" to their BF's. Lol if your gf has lots of guy friends it is because she's fucking a few of them.

@@milespico7179 I am guessing you completely misunderstood what I said?

@@someone-ji2zb The party girls are not naive, they are looking for a better guy and or some fun while the boyfriend is the backup plan.

@@someone-ji2zb that's what I say Either call her a sister or something And prove your intentions

No shit. Any links or a title? You think she was actually cheating on him, or just super fucking stupid?

Link

Link if u forgot link can u tell bfs story

I dont think that was the same story

@@Sc00by-d008 I think Jason was right, I was referring to a similar story. kzfaq.info/get/bejne/qcqPnMKB3b_SiWg.htmlsi=jyivIIDJd4CCk03Y

I think women get too comfortable and take the men for granted when he desires her all the time... and ends up loosing attraction to him and cheat.

She abused what she had. Given everything and it wasn’t enough.

If I tell you that dog bites... don't pet the dog, getting bit that's on you now

That's cause alot of women care more about validation and fun more than the people who care about them. These type of scenarios make me so depressed and full of rage. Hopefully this never happens to me because my girl can be rebellious and god i wanna kill someone just thinking about it (not actually but thats the level of anger and sadness I feel)

Notice how she calls him "controlling" when he set reasonable boundaries

@Chuck R that kind of behaviour invites certain kinds of actions, kind of like bathing in gazelle blood and then going to the savana and flailing in acid and then becoming a victim of lions, AFTER the safari guide repeatedly told you not to do that, there are lions out there. Chicks complain ablut how unsafe it is to he a woman and then go to the club already drunk walking alone down a dark ally to get there. Theres only so much sympathy or empathy one can give before needing to acknowledge the fact that usually we do these things to ourselves through our poor choices.

@@guntgunderson2829 So women who leave the house, wear nice clothes, drink alcohol, wish to go to events or parties, speak to men, are 'inviting' rape and sexual assault? I dare you to reply, in a CIVIL manner, with none of Reddit's usual mysogynist abuse. No? Thought not.

Actually, it makes OP 100% at fault. She chose the party. She chose to leave her sick boyfriend at home to get her back blown out. It's HER own fault.

@@CocoCece08 girl?

​@@Hm-dh1vuI agree, I'm sorry. She says he was the perfect guy but couldn't skip one party while he was sick. Her SA is not her fault but her bad choices were made by herself.

It sounded more that she was spoiled by his family. She wanted to give him payback for being jelous. She gets suddenly shagged by three friends at a party? That is a major mistake in charcter. The guys know that if they r#pe her they will get caught really easily. It could be a possibility that she consented then changed her mind calling it r$pe.

Yeah, its not like he could just pretend to be sick to keep her at home, because he didnt want her to go, right?

@@skadi6750 have you ever been in a heated argument with a family member who you really love because if it leads to screaming those arguments cause sever headaches after so the chances that he wasn't lying are very high

@@skadi6750 or he was just sick. It happens.

@@skadi6750 Even if he _was_ pretending, she's the one that decided to leave him anyway.

I don’t even care about sports and beer, if there was nothing else In the male brain I’d be a fucking zombie

@@ethantaillefer-meyn6535 I only "enjoy" sports becaue is a form I bond with my dad and other family males, now than I have otehr ways to bond with them (agriculture) I prefer it over that stuff. And beer... Well, some aren't bad but there are lots of better bevereages out there.

So rape is in your head? Yes most guys want sex, but very few want an unconscious/unwilling partner.

​@@Cheepchipsable I don't think he came close to implying that. It's just like when a woman is capable of noticing behaviours in another woman, that no man notices, because she is a woman, even if she herself never would do that. A man also is capable of noticing those behaviours in another man just because he is a man.

@@Cheepchipsable you can tell when another human being seems kinda murderous right. If they were sending off those red flags it’d be obvious right? Well do you have murder on your mind (hehe) my point

Women are never expected to be adults and account for they own choices, thats what the walking to the altar is about, from daddy to hubby.

Words of wisdom. The only person in the comments I could find saying this.

Stay away from those obvious rapists... hhmmmmm.... I don't think I will

well put

Yeah nothing special here just a typical girl who says she loves a "perfect boyfriend" ( meaning perfect SIMP) and leaves if the perfect boyfriend needs her...

I don't believe in karma, but I do believe the rape was her fault too. Partially, but still so. Anyone that says it is not her fault is seriously disrespecting her and her right to choose. She made a stupid choice and put herself in a stupid situation. She ignored warnings, but again, exercised her right to choose. She was raped, and that is a horrible result, but her actions led her to put herself in that situation. It is her fault, and she has to own up to it if she really ever wants to heal. Idiots giving her a soft pass and enabling are not helping. It's called accountability. For her to feel in control, she has to take accountability. She has to "know" that she can make better choices and not end up in the same situation in the future. By saying it's not her fault, NO ONE IS HELPING HER. You take away her power and that means life is against her and she had no control over anything. That will only have her living in fear (how she currently is) like a scared mouse. If anyone truly wanted to help her, they would tell her what fault she carries, allow her to be accountable. Teach her better decision making skills, and empower her to take control of her life and not stay stuck in victim mode.

That's just it though. The relationship was over when she walked out the door, regardless of what happened at the party. Her priorities were clearly not in the right place for having a relationship with her BF.

@@rustyreese4006 Are you kidding me just because she didn't follow his advice that one time they deserve to break up? Guess what when you are in a relationship you don't have to do everything your SO tells you to, she may have thought that he was just being insecure. And lastly why is everyone insinuating that she's to blame that she was raped? That's about the stupidest victim blaming shit I've ever heard.

@@angelloodleoul4217 I agree there is no reason to blame her being raped. Rapist is only one who deserves blame on that. But seriously. They started dating at 14, never grew up individually, be yourself because you are glued to other. Not knowing shit about life "Our relationship was mature" is lie that every teenager tells themselves etc. breaking up was thing to happen and this just triggered it. The fights didn't sound very mature. Very good chance he realised he wants to see life and what else is out there. Because that phase was coming sooner or later.

@@duckeh1952 Yea I'm just mad that almost everybody in the comments blame her for her rape. I do understand the guy tho where he is coming from. They were each others firsts in everything, They both sound immature from op's post tho.

@@angelloodleoul4217 No one is saying she deserved to be raped. They're saying she went into that horrible situation willingly. She did the "I'm gonna do what I wanna do" and " you can't tell me what to do" and went to the party anyway despite being told not to by the bf. bf has every right to leave because it's just as emotionally scarring for him too.

Being an independent woman in a man's world is dangerous. Proper safety measures need to be taken.

Um, welcome to 2020. Women are openly displaying what little respect they have for men in general. Then when it exploded in their face, they want "their man" to fix it. She never wanted a husband, just a clean up man.

@@danedee6563 That's an unfortunate and deluded perspective. When they find out that women are capable of the same evils, it'll hurt even more. Men and women need each other for humanity to persist. Without understanding and mutual compassion, suffering will only increase. I think a lot of those women who think that way have had profound disappointment in their fathers, or have been poisoned by women who have had profound disappointment in their fathers.

Dude no one fuckings thinks these things will happen. This could of happened anywhere anytime.

@Carter Atwell I'm sure now you can appreciate and perceive the benefits of her always being there for you while your father earned the money. There is a big difference in the quality of life and experiences of those that grew up with a stay at home parent and those with 2 working parents or a single working parent.

So you would abandon a woman who had been raped? Clearly, you are not a man who can be trusted, or who would support a partner during tough times.

@@tardislady9546 yes I would. I wouldn’t use the word abandon, but I would break up with her. I couldn’t be with a woman that’d been through something like that after she disobeyed my commands to not go to that party, complete betrayal of my authority and then she became tainted for it because she failed to let me save her from herself.

That’s the thing, it IS her fault. She CHOSE to go to this party with men her SO warned her were unsavory. She CHOSE to get blackout drunk. She CHOSE to go to sleep in a secluded location. Now, she is: Blacked out Hidden Surrounded by unsavory men All by her own choice. If you jump into a lion’s den, it’s your own fault for doing so.

You sound more like a parent then a bf💀. “Disobeyed your command” and “betrayed your authority” like you really need to stay single.

@@cecilrhodes2153 I see your point but I wouldn’t necessarily go that far, nobody asks to get r**ed, yes if you willingly stick your hand in a blender it’s your fault your hand gets emaciated but we can’t use that logic to excuse the unthinkable acts that the perpetrator did.

Pls link

Yeah now that I think about it’s the same story differently side, your right she just there bec he’s has a good family and she doesn’t love him

kzfaq.info/get/bejne/idWYY66aq77aXYU.htmlsi=tLw3vat1HGGrICfB I think this video is what your talking about. Im not sure, but it sounds similar

Or many, I mean, who knows?

Lol imagine being with a girl who has male "friends"

@@James-hu8ir a guy and a girl can be just friends. But choose your friends wisely

@@professor9343 Only in a group setting or with a specific shared interest/hobby, and not deep enough to spend time alone together. If you think otherwise, you're just unaware of the other person's feelings for you.

@@James-hu8ir alone time? I don't what's going through y'all brains but if the first thought of your significant other hanging out with one friend is cheating then you need to redefine trust. My friend has a boyfriend and she would just have days where we'd just talk alone about dumb shit or me giving her advice.

Well I dont blame d b.f he warned her but she didn't listen. He has every right to leave.

@@yourlandladysson6395 he did. He knew something was fishy but she didnt listen. Women seem to be driven to torpedo something when it provides to much stability. He was the one that provided for all her stability in her life. Sucks because he sounds like a catch with a fantastic family that some other hotter chick is going to snatch in a heart beat.

@@jeangermain6957 oh yeah bro. If I was d guy I'll dump her for sure. Because I warned her.

@Two Hatchet The crazy part is that she was acting independent when she was the farthest thing from it. The 2 of them were functionally married and she was acting single in his home, with his money, and his family's support. Truly independent ppl provide those things for themselves and can protect themselves.

Ana Zirbel this is a fantastic comment.

That was quite something to leave after he said that he was feeling sick but still left him to party.

@@z4ne398 It bothered me a great deal. The inability to want to nurture her boyfriend was surprising. Considering how much love he has shown her at every step and turn.

LOL, he didn't sound that sick to me. In all honesty he sounded controlling and was trying to use Man-flu to get her no to go. She went specifically because he was trying to manipulate her into not going. Frankly I don't think the relationship would have lasted anyway.

@@Cheepchipsable He was the best boyfriend ever. Gave her a place to live, a family a place to belong and in return she couldn't even be that sympathetic to him. Anyways best they break up. The dude is with her because he pities her. Best to just let her go so she can be free and he should focus on himself and his own happiness.

@@Cheepchipsable she just warned her about ONE guy, and he's controlling? he just had a gut feeling and was trying to protect her, and he was right.

Yes if you have a serious relationship with someone you don’t leave your sick partner to go party with friends of the opposite sex PERIOD, especially when your boyfriend has told you he doesn’t trust these men. A good woman shouldn’t even have male friends like that if she has a man. I believe she was open to doing something with one of those men at the party based on the way she behaved to her boyfriend and how interested she was in going to party with other dudes besides him.

I think she just didn't believe him. But let me tell you, her behavior was that of someone that eventually cheats. Or at least it LOOKS like that.

@@doomguy9049 Come on, the guy was pretending to be sick to manipulate her into staying behind. How does nobody see that? And guys wonder how girls end up in abusive relationships...

@NotoriousProfessorChaos #99669966 I don’t know who deleted my comment, but this is clearly an echo chamber, so I’ll take my leave. Let’s just say that I hope karma will teach you to be more empathetic, one day.

@@doomguy9049 i agreed with you until the part were it says doesnt trust these men, everything after that is were we desagree, i believe that every person if they are going to a party has to go with someone of the same sex doesnt matter if you are female or male, no one can be a 100% safe.

Probably faked it too to get sympathy from him.

@@AlfieTank Right. She purchased a ticket to that particular train. 🚂

Hmmm I have a feeling this was made up so she could get a jail free card.

@Man Of Chai Tea where I wanna see

@@AlfieTank Unfortunately, this is all too real and possible.

@@NNNMTWRH71 Well said.

2 different story.

@Two Hatchet feminism is cancer and poisons everything it touches and ensures no logic, reason, and decency can prevail. Your example is spot on but assumes a logical male mind, not an irrational feminist female mind.

I like how she "makes it short" to give no context to what happened

@Two Hatchet We still have things like sex ed classes and government ads that tells women to use self protection and better decision making. But "feminists" look at it and say it's victim blaming. They still think everyone else is responsible for their safety. They expect guys to be their bodyguards, while on the same breath talking about how guys are violent pigs and girls are above them. You can't win with these people.

@@zlkanglwrth2776 that struck me as weird but sometime it’s hard for people to relive their traumas and give exact details, her main points were that she got raped and all this was going on

There’s no way you are serious.

Is he? He's treating his raped girlfriend like damaged goods

@@kuno3336 well i mean technically she is? I mean he doesn’t want to leave and have her off herself so....

@Brighton - except it might have been about him manufacturing feeling sick in order to control her and keep her home. This would have become a problem in the future anyway. He wouldn’t let the relationship mature before the incident.

@@teacheschem on the other hand, maybe he "manufactured being sick" because he didn't trust her friends. And I mean, with this outcome I can't say he was exactly _wrong_ either 😕

@@teacheschem Ah yes so him "pretending" to be sick makes him manipulative but her getting mad when he rejects her sexual advances and then assumes he's cheating so she goes and snoops on his phone obviously makes him way worse.

Anne of Cleves knows what she is talking about.

@Gi Gi I mean if she is being disrespectful enough I understand wanting to yell

@Gi Gi Both can be true at the same time though. It's true that the men were pieces of shit for taking advantage of her. It's true that she made a series of terrible decisions that put her in that position. She wasn't walking home and got attacked. She drank herself into oblivion with a bunch of dudes that she was spending more time with than her boyfriend. There's no way he overlooks that. She isn't dealing with the consequences of being violated, she's dealing with the consequences of being extremely immature and reckless.

Gi Gi not really she was well aware the friend of op was not on good terms with her boyfriend. Op left her sick boyfriend to go party with other man ? She disrespected him and now op boyfriend has checked out of the relationship at least he did not throw her under a bus like op did with her boyfriend when he needed help when he was feeling sick. Op relationship is dead the boyfriend is now waiting till she feels better so he can move on.

@Gi Gi The criminal actions didn't kill her relationship. She did that. Even if the assault hadn't taken place, the absolute disregard for her partner would have killed the relationship. Her (basically) ex is a damn saint and is helping her get to a decent enough place. But, all of her actions that ended up leading to that moment are hers and hers alone.

@Gi Gi Because I hold people accountable for their actions? Let's walk through this. They have arguments about how much time she spends with other men. She admits to disregarding his boundaries and continues. She wants to go to a party with these other men. He asks her not to. She disregards it. She goes to the party with these other men, the ones who she has been spending more time with than her boyfriend (from the post) and gets pass out drunk with them. You don't see a problem? Never would I, or my wife, act like that. We respect each other and both understand healthy boundaries. We also both understand personal safety and how willingly compromising yourself is a TERRIBLE idea. None of that means she should have been raped. All of that means her immature, selfish decisions both ruined her relationship and put her in an unnecessary risky position, ultimately ending in her being violated and traumatized. It also caused an incredible amount of pain for both OP and her boyfriend. Literally all of it could have been avoided if she hadn't been a rebellious teen "doing what she wants because screw you, you're just jealous." Literally everything except for the assault is her fault. Edit: Also, if you don't understand what killed their relationship, YOU shouldn't be in one.

survivors guilt is when you feel guilty you survived when someone else did not (usually in things like shootings and natural disasters and such) so i wouldnt say its survivors guilt

Girl?

Simp*

@@anon-iraq2655 yes, agreed, but understandable given she is on the verge of ending her life due to the trauma, but he should find an exit strategy ASAP, there's no future for them as a couple.

@@anon-iraq2655 he’s not a simp, tho. He takes care of her after the incident and already wants to leave her, unfortunately she was raped and for more that I want to think it’s not her fault it certainly was, he asked her to stay home and she went anyway, she lost him already, he’s not simping, he’s a fucking King that went through a terrible thing in his life

@@aurichio7783 King would ve honest about qhat he feels and after ending the relationship be her support.

@@aurichio7783 he needed to walk out the door the minute he asked her to not hang out with her "friends" and she threw a tantrum and called him controlling, he's not her father to deal with her rebellious phase he stayed and then stayed some more to heal her after her choices got her assaulted, all are actions that hurt him emotionally and wasted his time and resources, gives him no reward as they're investments in a lost cause, he's a simp

She can't because she's know he's better than anything she'll be able to trap again.

Yeah he's ready to dip and good on him

I believe she thought the boyfriend was "acting" to stop her from joining the party.

@@chakraborty1989 Either way choosing a party over your “perfect” boyfriend what an L she took in the relationship sense

Do you know the bf's username?

She definitely was out for attention from other guys.

Yep, should have let them each finish and proved to her bf she's her own woman Lol

@@mikeb3717 Yes, she stated that herself in the beginning. Her bf had more "value" than her and was the "core" of the relationship according to her. She wanted to be more of "value" and sought attention from others and possible well on her way to cheat too. From the story, my guess is she decided to get drunk and cheat with those guys but got caught by that friend and instantly switched to victim of rape.

Love when people use that

Note: Only applies to women.

You would not think that if it were a MAN who had been raped.

@@tardislady9546 you right bc guys don’t have to worry about that lmao THATS THE POINT

@@JDragonweezy Reddit would support a MAN who was raped, but they think that women who are raped are 'sluts', and 'were asking' for it', and 'deserved it'.

The only thing she didn’t do was to bring the condoms

You are right buddy

Did you miss the "quotation marks"? That indicates she *didn't* consider them "friends". The term was used to confirm that these were in fact the same people she trusted to go to the party with in the first place.

Complete whoosh on the "friends", the quotation marks imply that they were supposedly her friends, or did not understand the grammar?

Whether it's easy or not the solution is for the OP to let her bf go and find someone who will make him happy and respect him. As you correctly pointed out her actions were extreme disrespect and the damage that happened to their relationship as a consequence of this aren't ever going to be right again.

He is going to be the one that OP will remember as "the one that got away" for the rest of her life, because of that foolish choice.

Now if only the feminists could read these posts and just let this be.

This right here. She heard his protectiveness and interpreted it as possessiveness. There’s a big difference. She ignored his concerns, is now traumatized, and he feels stuck playing caretaker because he’s too good of a guy to dump her when she’s at her lowest. Once she’s steadier, he’s out.

@@hothotheat3000 he should go now, and not let her use her fragile state as a weapon against him. Let her friends and family deal with whatever is going on with her. She has no right to be in the relationship with him after her disrespect.

Good man. 👍

Honestly, at the first half I thought she was just cheating, weren't for people rescuing her I would even believe she was saying she was struggle-snuggled to hide it

@@thepraetorian2368 i have never heard the term "struggle-snuggled" before. I simultaneously love and hate it.

@@thedestroyasystem I learned about from TTT Yogscast

On point!

Ultimately, right or wrong, its over. You can't guilt him into love. He isn't an asshole for losing his feelings, feelings don't work like that. Stop wasting each other's time.