"Whales" - Jim Gaffigan Stand Up (Mr.Universe)

Рет қаралды 649,785

4 жыл бұрын

So I went whale watching and I have some thoughts... Why are whales so fat? They have no excuse...
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Пікірлер: 418

@theresaandrade8261 4 жыл бұрын

"Pelican with machine gun" 😂😂😂😂

@hockeyrd99 4 жыл бұрын

Everyone always comments that he's a clean comedian, but that never occurs to me when I watch him. I just enjoy the perfect timing and clever jokes. Funny is funny!

@Bacteriod 2 жыл бұрын

He actually said "SHIT" once in a bit he was doing, and it really stuck out. I was like "Heyyy he swore" lol. Love Jim, going to see him next weekend! Can't wait.

@julietrain4383 4 жыл бұрын

he takes the most normal subjects and turns them a masterpiece 😂😂

@vinces8974 11 ай бұрын

He’s a comedy genius

@jamesschmidt2160 5 ай бұрын

Whales, manatees, horses, and of course, hot pockets!!!!!

@aaryntaylor 4 жыл бұрын

This man just picks random animals and then does a bit on them for way longer then you expect. I love it. Do cows next .

@brdrake765 4 жыл бұрын

And then adds a voice of a random complaining woman from the crowd (probably inspired by his wife’s comments to his thoughts) 😂 or he’ll do the same thing with food.

@ryanwitkowski3995 4 жыл бұрын

He has 10 min of horse material worth a google

@aaryntaylor 4 жыл бұрын

@@michaeldoran4367 I didn't even notice that. Wow, hats off.

@Maliceah 4 жыл бұрын

But then you'd expect it.

@relaxedguy 4 жыл бұрын

Just watched that with mom, awesome!

@carrrexx7190 4 жыл бұрын

I love whale watching. I'm a greeter at Walmart.

@gailducrest8851 3 жыл бұрын

Car Rexx you are hysterical. Thanks.

@Robert08010 3 жыл бұрын

Well you know, they say if you can find joy in your career, that's a good thing.

@carrrexx7190 3 жыл бұрын

@@gailducrest8851 👍😷

@ericperkins3078 3 жыл бұрын

You can date 'em, too. So I've heard.

@almaalma3871 3 жыл бұрын

😂😂😂🤦🏻‍♀️

@PortaPunch 4 жыл бұрын

One double edged sword about the internet age is that comedians get good exposure. The drawback is that they have their jokes out there for all to hear so they can't recycle them as often. Certain comedians I keep hearing their jokes over and over. Jim you do a great job keeping it fresh. Keep it up!

@stephenr80 4 жыл бұрын

thats like the best compliment really is not easy to build new sets I guess?

@lovelace8702 4 жыл бұрын

So very true. I didnt think he could make whales so funny!

@touristguy87 4 жыл бұрын

Try not actually logging into YT

@jenniferstrickland3232 4 жыл бұрын

Pro-tip: don't watch this while rocking your infant to sleep; I couldn't stop laughing.

@uncleflansy5621 4 жыл бұрын

I've heard this bit a million times, so I'm just here to give it a like. Probably one of the best pure comedy bits ever.

@toddb1765 4 жыл бұрын

I have to agree!!

@terryhaines8351 4 жыл бұрын

When listening to Jim Gaffigan, I am constantly wiping the laughter tears from my eyes! He is beyond hilarious!

@feliciataylor3772 4 жыл бұрын

@Terry Haines It's okay as long as you aren't "wailing" from distress. 😉

@ascetic3312 4 жыл бұрын

I don't think any other comedian ever makes me laugh as much as Jim Gaffigan.

@DMO-DMO-DMO 4 жыл бұрын

Seeing him live I practically wrecked my abdomen from laughing so much

@litoxxlito_axx7318 4 жыл бұрын

His materials are so clean and funny at the same time, it’s beautiful

@kathleenaltherr6836 4 жыл бұрын

This is so darn funny. My husband and I used to live on the beach in VA and this routine is still a part of our conversation when we need to laugh. The best ever. Thank you, Jim, for all the laughs. As a nurse, I can tell you that laughter is sometimes the best medicine.

@Ozzie1420 4 жыл бұрын

Whales getting old and losing control of their blow holes is where I had to sign off, I just didn't sign in for that! Besides, I'm 81, nuff said??? Where did Mark and Charlotte Ritchey Go?

@JohnnyMuzak 3 жыл бұрын

@@Ozzie1420 you should have stuck around its just getting good, the dominos pizza bit is gold

@orleansartist6095 3 жыл бұрын

I have never heard a comedian whose jokes are just as funny even when Ive seen the special before. I love the voices, the self deprecation, the new way he thinks abput things.

@CWBella 4 жыл бұрын

"When are you a captain and when are you just a drunk guy with a boat?"

@JamesWilson-vr3ql 4 жыл бұрын

We should call them "boatless".

@petermyers479 4 жыл бұрын

Funniest clean comic in America.

@johnblake5962 4 жыл бұрын

Him and brian regan are the most clean comedians but also imho the most consistently funny comedians out there. Their material just doesnt age

@hayleychase4619 4 жыл бұрын

Tim Hawkins, though

@hineighbor 4 жыл бұрын

Brian Regan, and Jerry seinfeld obviously

@jeffreykamke 4 жыл бұрын

Jim and Tim Hawkins are the best

@boxadorsrus5991 4 жыл бұрын

My wife and I just love Jim Gaffigan. Other clean comics can be found on KZfaq at DryBar comedy.

@jeffs6090 4 жыл бұрын

Holy crap....."the Domino's effect"!!🤣🤣🤣

@megandavis3585 4 жыл бұрын

“If fat made a noise it’d be blub ber” LMAO 😂😂😂

@benr77 4 жыл бұрын

next Dominos product: bread in a bread bowl sprinkled with breadcrumbs, and your drink in a bread cup

@jeremybaca2293 4 жыл бұрын

“Just like Mama Domino used to make” 😂

@imacloud11 4 жыл бұрын

"& a distant third, the lion on a jet-ski" lost it 😂😂😂

@LisbethAdams 4 жыл бұрын

My husband said Whales are the Eeyore of the SeaWorld. Must be. Your imitation of them brought me to tears.😂

@samhouston1979 4 жыл бұрын

“Pelican With A Machine Gun” is going to be my Metal Band name

@myaries5829 4 жыл бұрын

Yes do it🎶🎶🎶

@ericperkins3078 4 жыл бұрын

Then I get Lion on a Jet Ski.

@sarahlarson2172 3 жыл бұрын

Eric Perkins YES!!!!! Nice. lol

@julieyamada4328 4 жыл бұрын

Thank you Jim Gaffigan for making my day. Daily. Really.

@jimgaffigan 4 жыл бұрын

thanks

@marktoombs6276 4 жыл бұрын

He is hilarious.

@Sponsorship4u2 4 жыл бұрын

@@jimgaffigan You have truly helped me (and many of us) keep our sanity during this pandemic! Between working from home, Homeschooling and cooking like I work in a prison cafeteria daily I am truly exhausted Your comedy is a lifeline to my sanity!!

@aquacrocwherry3321 4 жыл бұрын

Whales sound like they had one too many pasta bread bowls

@MegaPainLove 4 жыл бұрын

He just seems like he would be way cool to hang out with.

@hockeyrd99 4 жыл бұрын

Maybe have him over for a Domino's Pasta Bread Bowl!

@hockeyrd99 4 жыл бұрын

"The old whale-geography-diarrhea joke.. coming in handy"... nice to know it's there when you need it! lol My all time favorite routine of yours. Thanks for the laughs Jim!

@Anonymous-gg4yv 4 жыл бұрын

Thank you, Jim Gaffigan! I have been a fan since "Beyond the Pale" and still have my CD's in clear, cracked, plastic cases to prove it! I see and appreciate what you and your family are doing to help us through quarantine.

@TheBankruptSoul 3 жыл бұрын

My favorite comedian. Such effortless comedy.

@AnnaPxx 3 жыл бұрын

The entire skit is one killer joke after the other. And the different voices! Also he cracks up nearly every time he does that brilliant whale sound 🤣

@MisterTwister88 4 жыл бұрын

Jim you’re the best, Thank you for your humor

@jasonerb2577 4 жыл бұрын

I used to order the chicken alfredo bread bowl at Perkins 20+ years ago when I was in college. I graduated fat. #relatable.

@RenEmell 4 жыл бұрын

Mr. Universe was the first time my family ever watched you, and we laughed out asses off! We still quote your jokes from this clip! Love it

@RedRonFJB 4 жыл бұрын

so that's what happened to your asses

@ryanturner8577 4 жыл бұрын

Jim is doing us a great service by entertaining us during these times. Feels good to get some belly laughs in.

@rinprom8488 4 жыл бұрын

Hands down!! Best comedian on the planet! Only Jim can make me laugh my azz off. Thank you Jim!

@jaykyleph 4 жыл бұрын

Speaks whale better than dory.

@Elon_Trump 4 жыл бұрын

I Was feeling crappy today. You totally lift my spirits Jim thanks for all the laughs.

@jimgaffigan 4 жыл бұрын

Hang in w

@mitsuomits9077 4 жыл бұрын

"What's tsa matta for you!?"😂😂😂😂

@Buzzygirl63 4 жыл бұрын

one of his best routines. I cried laughing the first time I saw this. 😂

@Hermes_Agoraeus 4 жыл бұрын

7:25 - I almost did a spit-take when I heard "died". Pro tip: don't drink anything while watching these.

@peteandpatluboff 3 жыл бұрын

What a wonderful gift of laughter you are giving us! Thank you!

@starryagent9936 Жыл бұрын

“Number one, mankind, number two, the pelican with a machine gun...and in distant third the lion on a jet ski.” DEAD 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

@myaries5829 4 жыл бұрын

He's always has such a new outlook and talks about stuff no one else even thinks about. So talented

@suebrown3465 4 жыл бұрын

You managed to go from whales to pizza ...well played sir!

@patriciamoore6492 Жыл бұрын

Listened to the entire show which included this bit and belly laughed, wiping tears! Great stress relief, which I really needed. Thanks for being my go to comic.

@stephenlupoli 3 жыл бұрын

That is definitely my favorite bit. I’ve watched it five times.

@solsister1223 2 жыл бұрын

You always make me laugh! This last year I lost my mom and my dog! It’s been hard. Your comedy has really helped! Thank you and don’t ever stop!

@DefenderofFuture 4 жыл бұрын

"I was thinking sperm whale or booger whale" LMAO

@lovelace8702 4 жыл бұрын

He takes the cake!! Blub-bler haha if fat made sound.

@EchoRhythmMusic 4 жыл бұрын

Carbolicious!

@296jacqi 4 жыл бұрын

He’s amazing.

@stephandewinter2743 4 ай бұрын

“The old whale geography diarrhea joke, coming in handy…” is actually one of the only jokes that made me cry laughing. I watched it at night and I woke up the entire house 😂

@yvettekelley2155 Жыл бұрын

Jim this is one of my favorite routines of yours I view it and crack up every time! Thanks for being you!

@AnthonyHafciojoni 4 жыл бұрын

I haven’t laughed this hard 4 ever 😝🤪🤣 You👉

@ginnymeljac2300 4 жыл бұрын

OMG! You were so hilarious! The sound effects! I just can’t thank you enough! This has been so very hard for me and all I want to do is laugh again. The Gaffigan’s are a super family! Stay safe! 💕💕🇺🇸😂😂

@undeadalive_4647 4 жыл бұрын

Jim you are amazing at comedy every time I watch you you make my day.

@libertygiveme1987 4 жыл бұрын

It's been awhile since I've seen this one. I FORGOT HOW HYSTERICAL IT IS!!!! Nobody does an "ITALIAN (MOBSTER) ACCENT" like Gaffigan!!!!

@happysmurfette 4 жыл бұрын

Luv the content, his gestures, facial expression & visuals he creates😆🤣🤣 he’s my top 3!! Brilliant. Thank You JG🐳🍕🥓🍟🥖

@happysmurfette 4 жыл бұрын

🕺🕺🕺

@happysmurfette 4 жыл бұрын

Roy G Biv ya riiight!!? He’s sssso good.

@kylestubbs8867 4 жыл бұрын

“Whale-watching is equal to water-staring.” -Demetri Martin

@mitsuomits9077 4 жыл бұрын

😄😄😄😄

@sarahlarson2172 3 жыл бұрын

Lmao

@suzanne4504 Жыл бұрын

Jim...this segment made me laugh way out loud! Thank you!

@nymalous3428 4 жыл бұрын

I would have watched this "live" but I was in the middle of a meeting... I almost did anyway...

@xkil0wattx752 4 жыл бұрын

Indian Ocean joke murdered me

@forgedindarkness1977 4 жыл бұрын

You make me laugh out loud... I will have my headphones in, and I am laughing so loud my family comes to investigate. You brighten my day with your comdey. You are one of my favorite comedians! Can't wait until this is all over so I can see you perform in person.

@pharumnelson7108 4 жыл бұрын

So good Jim Thanks G

@Turco949 4 жыл бұрын

Leaderboard of Whale Killers: #1 Mankind, #2 Pelican with the machine gun ....and distant #3 Lion on a jet ski. LMAO!

@LeesaGio 3 жыл бұрын

This is one of my favorites from Jim. I'm waiting on my 'It's mostly water weight' shirt that I ordered off ur merch site!!! Surely to bring smiles to all.

@Kcali111 4 жыл бұрын

Lol the whole pasta bread bowl bit. Lol. Your hilarious Jim. I love your style of comedy.

@lextreasure5537 2 жыл бұрын

JIM GAFFIGAN IS SO FUNNNYYY OMG HE IS A TRUE COMIC. HIS JOKES ARE SO CLEAN!!!!!

@FranktheDachshund 4 жыл бұрын

Always fresh always funny, really love Jim.

@ShiftingDrifter 3 жыл бұрын

"Pasta in bread bowls? That's a sign of a serious eating disorder! [Gruff Voice] 'I was outta control! I was put'n pasta in bread bowls - was a matter of time before I covered it in cheese... I needed help!. I went to a meeting - it worked out.'" lol...

@Deepak19944 4 жыл бұрын

This is some brilliant content!

@stevejames5863 2 жыл бұрын

thank you jim, i ve just got out of the hospital, your comedy is comforting me, thank you, bro...god be with you... steve.

@roohamm2456 4 жыл бұрын

The laughs from the Gaffigan family and All the good works you have done during the lockdown made be SAF- NOT so horrible! God Bless you ALL 💚🌎🌷🕯️☮️

@tomlemole4164 3 жыл бұрын

Ahhhhh, the pasta bread bowl! It's just like Momma Domino used to make!

@readyupwait6138 3 жыл бұрын

My kids want to tell jokes bc I tend to make most of my friends laugh. I let them listen to a Jim gaffigan special and it resulted in my 2 kids saying hot pocket for 4 straight days 😂

@mehill00 2 жыл бұрын

That’s hilarious.

@AhKiOye 3 жыл бұрын

Had me at the "whale geography diaherra" joke 🤣🤣

@lyndaplaylist1 2 жыл бұрын

Brilliant! Your whale story and impressions make me laugh so hard I cry - every time! Thank you for this!

@JD-go2qj 4 жыл бұрын

Domino's got rid of the bread bowl. I think it was because of your joke.

@Alina-su9jg 4 жыл бұрын

I miss those!

@JD-go2qj 4 жыл бұрын

@@easye5653 you can still get pasta in a foil pan, but I always got a cheese bread side. Bread bowl solved the issue and was so delicious. And yes they are covered in cheese. More like a light sprinkling, but certainly not non existent or an exaggeration 👍

@JD-go2qj 4 жыл бұрын

@Stephanie Logan picture all that delicious pasta resting on a warm bed of freshly baked bread. Gosh that's the best food porn 😂 I agree on little Caesar's. I like their cheese bread and deep dish pizza.

@kennethboylan6130 3 жыл бұрын

I kept putting off the whale sketch because I thought, "How can you possibly make whales funny?" So glad I was wrong and finally watched it!

@scottolson1105 4 жыл бұрын

I miss the old 90's slimy greasy pizzas, when i would be coming in off a 5 month boat contract the thought of Dominoes slimy pie was #2 or #3 on my list of things to do. The cheese was fantastic.

@thetroopoftruth4820 4 жыл бұрын

I love this section so much! Thank you!

@jimgaffigan 4 жыл бұрын

Glad you enjoy it!

@hippiecowgirl4231 4 жыл бұрын

Brilliant material and delivery !

@jimgaffigan 4 жыл бұрын

Thank you kindly!

@jylbek71 4 жыл бұрын

I ADORE you, Jim!!! Comedy at its best, truly.

@SamuelSimmons-iw8jo 5 ай бұрын

I have heard this so many times and it never fails to make me laugh

@scottiverson7433 4 жыл бұрын

Love you clean brilliant wholesome comedy.. Just great.

@veterantraveler 4 жыл бұрын

Living off the “blubberment” 😬

@tonydecker1263 4 жыл бұрын

water weight😂🤣

@milktop1 3 жыл бұрын

Omg this had my crying

@robertcooper1952 Жыл бұрын

A true comedy genius!

@juliettadowney2381 2 жыл бұрын

I am in tears over this whale bit and I’ve seen it before. FUNNIEST jokes he did ever 🤣

@madinfl03 4 жыл бұрын

Exactly what I was thinking about pizza with bread and bread. LOL

@madinfl03 4 жыл бұрын

Whaaat?!!! For real?! Is it Jim or a personal assistant? If it's really you, Jim, you're absolutely hysterical. I'm so glad I found your KZfaq channel. Hope you and your family stay well!

@codmpink 3 жыл бұрын

I don't know how, but Jim can literally make anything funny. Even whales xD

@robertkirkendall2010 4 жыл бұрын

Aren't Hot Pockets just miniature bread bowls? I'm now visualizing a lion on a jet ski.

@wmspins 4 жыл бұрын

Always great Jim! You make me laugh daily! Just what we need in these times! Keep up the great work!

@jimgaffigan 4 жыл бұрын

Thanks, will do!

@synthiaofulster8388 4 жыл бұрын

Nice Gazelles. Those are my faves.

@Robert08010 3 жыл бұрын

Excellent!!!

@eopal-uk265 4 жыл бұрын

I like Jim - No vulgarity or disgusting language

@hope5360 4 жыл бұрын

Have gone whale watching sooo many times! Luv the whole experience. One time dozens of whales were breaching all around us in every direction. We were near Plymouth, MA around July 4th. Really fun to see! 🐳 ❤⛴

@ericgamino478 2 жыл бұрын

"When are you a Captain and when are you just a drunk guy with a boat?" -Absolute Comedy

@joshuabartley656 4 жыл бұрын

Man this bit about whales is probably one of my favorite colony bits. Hands down the pelican with the machine gun lollolool. This man is a comedy genius

@AnnaPxx 4 жыл бұрын

I've discovered Jim Gaffigan only recently based on a KZfaq recommendation. Watching his stand up routines is cheering me up immensely in these dark times of global pandemic, economic Armageddon and worldwide race riots, which is not easy feat. They are all fab, and this one is a total masterpiece, love the recurrent whales sounds. Thank you Jim, greetings from the UK :-)