😈 FINISH LISTENING TO ALL THE STORIES HERE ▶ kzfaq.info/sun/PL5FcevqxOz5tuU1qghkOUcBqGKHKXHO0f 📮 SUBMIT YOUR OWN STORIES HERE ▶ amithejerk.com/submit

“I’m not offended by blonde jokes because I know I’m not dumb…and I also know that I’m not blonde.” -Dolly Parton

Husband poured a bottle of milk down the sink before going to buy more milk at the corner shop, heard him complaining that the new milk was off too. He had been making tea, had added lemon to his mother’s and my cups before pouring the milk into his mother’s cup. Sister opened her new fridge to get something out, leaving it open while she did other things until I asked why she left it open. Was told that the alarm hadn’t gone off to remind her to close it.

My great uncle tried heating up a frozen dinner while it was still in the box. (As in he put the entire box in the oven) He’s not the brightest bulb.

13 years old. Still can't tie shoes... Tried and mastered it multiple times but as soon as I stop practicing the knowledge just leaves my brain... Very ashamed of it

I've done the forklift blinker thing too lol. Always wondered how common this is

Hm...maybe someone can riddle me this... My dad bought one of those Ford F1500s when they first were being made. Came with the key/button thing to lock, unlock, turn on/off the alarm, and open the garage door. Me being young and dumb, couldn't figure out how to unlock the truck with the button and was so used to unlocking via key method, decided to unlock the door with the key which set off the alarm. Proceeded to panic for a good minute before my dad showed me how to turn off the alarm as well as lock and unlock the truck. Turns out the truck had this feature where if you locked it with the button you had to unlock it the same way. Whereas is you locked it with the key, you could unlock it with the key but could also unlock it with the button. Man I felt so confused and dumb. Why the heck was that a thing?

I had someone insist a cube has eight sides, and rather than argue I pulled a D6 out of my desk and asked them to roll an eight. They actually picked it up, before it clicked.

I’ve heard from people who do primarily digital art that they sometimes do the Ctrl+Z fingering when doing traditional drawing

actually that electric shower and the rubber dome thingy arent that big of fails under the assumption that there where no hints given beforehand.

I have an Apple Watch but opt for a more traditional mechanical watch for more formal situations. I I always catch myself swiping on the crystal of my mechanical watches, sometimes 2 or 3 times before realizing it’s not a smart watch

Having a pedal to step on to turn on the sink in a public bathroom is not quite ingenious, but also sanitary.

Love the can opener that turns every lid into a throwing star! Brilliant line and perfectly understandable. 😂🤣😂

I tried scrolling down on the computer using the remote once Took me like 10 seconds to realize what I was doing

I inhaled my own spit

I once spent, like, five minutes trying to find the motion sensor on a sink in a ski chalet in Minnesota. Thankfully, some other guy in the bathroom showed me where it was, but he CERTAINLY thought I was an IDIOT.

If I tried doing what the watermelon lady did, my hand or finger would be cut to prices. I'm the idiot who routinely puts pressure on the top of the (blind side) blade.

I can just imagine some wise-a$$ flipping the directional switch for an escalator while a bunch of people are on it and the people's WTF expressions.

Foot mice existit for people who cant use hands tbf

I've got a tablet and a monitor for my new PC and sometimes I'll catch myself tapping on the screen like it's a touchscreen 😂😂 Doh!

Gas stove. Between the ages of 14-17 I was turning on the gas and light it with a lighter. I thought because I'm not smoking and is just bad in general with lighter is Why I burn myself when I use it weekly at grandma's. Than she showed me the in-built lighter which is just a button giving a spark and setting the gas on fire. In my defense we had electric one at home.

20:00 i wanna know what he saw but i don’t wanna google it

0:59 why would the switch be in the hallway?

Also, Kraft Mac and Cheese balls? So, the Round Meal without the beef/hamburger meat?

I just cooked a pizza without removing the bottom cardboard 😂😂😂

I. Hate. Doors.

🤦‍♂️