As usual your spot on Susan. When I got out of a long term relationship I was in for years,I knew no better dating. Here comes the girl of my dreams that eventually said "she enjoyed my company and does care about me". She told me she didn't want to lose me and at that time I was scratching my head.She also said it would take time for her to come around.There was constant delays on when we would be official (she always brought it up) and months would roll by. But once it got serious,like you said it was too much of a burden for her and she split. So,I know this feeling.

Thanks Susan you hit it out of the park! I just left a three month “relationship” because she just wouldn’t commit. It just wasn’t going to be and I couldn’t waste any more time. She would have been happy stringing me along as we did have fun, but it was apparent that she was not capable of developing a true connection.

Even though I would not sleep with anyone that I was hoping for a commitment from I have been in this situation several times. As a woman it’s always been easy for me to just completely cut ties because sex was not involved. I think that when you come across someone like this you should just quietly move on and go no contact, nothing you say or do will ever change their mind. If they wanted you, there would be no confusion about their intentions.

You not the one , he will string you alone just to get the benefit of what he want from you.

Exactly! He doesn't know YET; he needs to sample the dessert more & see what other freebies he can get. Then he will move on down the buffet line to sample other desserts that look good.

Yeah a good guy wouldn't "not know." Pretty simple.

That's a broken cookie let him go

Oh dear.... How I can relate to this video. I recently had to end a relationship with someone who started with all the flowery, intoxicating, romantic phrases and "royal" treatment, it was magical. Too good to be true, actually.... He's a widower who said that among all the women he's dated, it is ME he wants. I was entranced! And as things developed, I was falling in love. It all seemed good, but he complained that I wasn't having sex with him. It was too soon for me, and frankly, I didn't feel a commitment from him, which is what I need before the physical. It didn't feel exclusive. I needed to hear that he loved me. In several discussions, he'd yell at me that he could NEVER love me, because that would be "disrespecting" his dead wife (gone 2+ years). He was quite wealthy. He told me emphatically I shouldn't expect a "commitment." Yet he wanted me in his bed!! Sigh. So... 😞I said let's just be friends.

Thank you Susan! I had to learn this with a tough breakup years ago, and your videos and book have helped me so much

It's making "us" sad -- the audacity!🤦‍♀Translation: Why can't you be content with me putting you in rotation, placing you in a holding pattern, receiving the benefits of a committed partner while I shop around for better alternatives? P.S. Ironically, guys like this often have "No Drama!" "Looking for someone laid back" in their dating profile.

Love this video for several reasons. 1. Straight to the subject and issue. 2. Your better focus on the subject at hand. ( instead of reading from comments) 3. You gave me the answers to what i need to do about my situation (ship). It's so hard to let go, but know i must.

❤ Once again, you hit this one out of the park! ❤. The reason I have so much respect you is, you tell it like it is! ❤. I appreciate your knowledge and straight shooter approach. I’m a fan for life!!!❤ Bravo Dear Susan!!!!❤

I never sleep with people soon into dating, but whenever this type of situation does happen to me I remind myself that there are 8 billion people on this planet and I swiftly move on 😂 you will find someone that you are more compatible with and that wants the same things as you

Thank you for this! I’m sobbing, but you are absolutely right. I didn’t go NC fast enough. I let myself get too invested.

Im male. There are many Comments here from women with double standards. Dating when your older and/or with much relationship experience there are going to be triggers and walls we have up for protection. So if you think that person your dating is kind of off, maybe its them being careful and watching your behavior also. Reverse projection? Example: i have much experience dating and know this very attractive woman im seeing is talking or seeing other men besides myself. Pretty dang easy to know by her behavior. So now that causes some internal anxiety and nervousness with myself to try and guess and figure out her true colors. People should be lucky enough to meet and be with a nice and great person but no.... thats not enough for some. They need to explore their options on the carousel to appease their entitlement. So sad, round and round we go.

I don't know if it's coincidence or the algorithm can read my mind, or some of these videos are being requested, but every time one of your videos pops up in my homepage, it happens to be something related with a recent situation I went through. Thanks so much for your advices and your videos.

Perfect closing words Susan 👌❤️

Girl this color is stunning on you!!!!! And great video btw, extremely helpful

This is such good advice. Thanks Susan!

This younger guy is very meek and mild. I have been single for years and backed out of our lunch date. I explained I am nervous ‘and’ I really like him. We keep talking. He goes out of his way to make me comfortable. We hold eye contact while smiling big, he comes to me and we genuinely hug. I am not sure where we are going with this. I would have to thank him for comforting me and ask him out this time.

Hey Susan! Can you make a video about how not to be emotionally depended on your partner? My mood depends on his texts,if he doesn't reply me instantly I get upset,I leave doing my own things,I lose my appetite etc. and the moment he replies my mood changes in positive and I'm hating that. I feel like I've no individual personality, I'm stuck,I'm being lifeless. I'd be very helpful if you make a video on it.

Dear Susan, could you please do a video on the root cause of being stuck in this cycle behaving like this ( too much too fast + anxiety, confusion and a broken heart). I realised I repeat the same pattern for years! 😢

Susan, another great video! Thank you so much. I think you are the best relationship coach out there as far as I'm concerned. Do you think this guy did not have good intention to date this lady from the beginning? Do you think having sex on the second date ruined the potential, or it didn’t matter with this player? Also I would love for you to make a video on how to date a high status guy. Thank you.

was divorced for four years we had something but nothing more, turns around and marries someone else because she is richer but still wanted to continue seeing each other 😐🤣😂😅keep dreaming. so no thank you 🇦🇺🤘🇳🇱

What not to do: Sleep with a man after your second date.

This is very lopsided. We don't have enough details to even comment. How old are they? If they both are 50+, both have assets and baggage. Why would any sane, older man enter a relationship so quickly .............. Is she using him as her retirement plan?

How do you know when they just want to take it slowly vs them not seeing a future with you? I had an insane connection with a guy, both wanted the same things, values aligned etc, but he had been divorced and when I started to question why he had stopped being verbally affectionate like before he said he didn’t want to rush into anything and wanted us to enjoy the process of getting to know each other. I took it as a rejection (2months in) and became cold and distant and he ended it saying he didn’t develop feelings and it wasn’t healthy to continue. I feel like I ruined it, but I also wonder if he was ever going to want me to be his gf. I never asked about a relationship, just the sudden halt of affection like he used to give the first 5 weeks

Susan can you please make a video on being someone's type? Im used to guys complenting me but the new guy im seeing kinda admitted he didnt think i wss "wow" on the first date. However He's head over heels now..is it really that important to be someone's type from the beginning????

I'm kind of in the same boat but he's been a friend for 14 years and we've been seeing each other and spending a lot of time together and we rarely have sex bcuz of some issues he has with ptsd and such and he's been in a lot of bad relationships...he said he's still not ready...I told him he has until August bcuz that will be a year that we've been seeing each other regularly and in between us working I'm at his house 5 days/nights out of the week so I'm not sure if ending it would be a good idea or if giving him the deadline is...

2nd date? That's too early. Then she started acting like his girlfriend from the get go. I think it needs to be easy breazy for the first 3 months imo.

Hi

Okay - let me be the devil's advocate here. I usually agree with you Susan, but not on this one... Mistake #1: Sex on Date #2. That's solely on her. Men are men, and when it is offered = most will take it, when not in a dedicated or committed relationship. Mistake #2: She got attached too quickly - due to sex. Hormones, baby - learn how your body is designed to get emotionally attached and how it is different from how men are wired. Mistake #3: Constant arguing date 3-6 about "what are we". Good grief! She made all the classic mistakes women made 30-40+ years ago and shows no common sense, self preservation or even some deep thoughts or awareness at all during this process. Totally run by her anxiety to nail him down and her body's hormones. I actually think there might have been the opportunity for more, else he would not have suffered through date 3-6 with all that bickering, arguing and her pressuring him for more, or shown the disappointment he felt for how this turned out [making both of them sad]. She showed clearly who she would be in a relationship, and I am not surprised that he wanted a break - temporarily or permanently. The only thing she did right, by the time it came to that, is to make a clean break. But she didn't really do that either [or only as a manipulation technique], because now she is still pining for him, hoping that no contact will bring him back around, as it is now so openly marketed + suggested by various internet dating gurus. This lady needs a reality check, and some serious introspection coupled with a sh*tload of inner work and perhaps even therapy. If she was a man behaving like that, we would call him domineering, manipulative, needy, bullying, and maybe even suggesting narcissistic tendencies...

Remember to love and respect urself befr indulging in any person who doesn’t have the same relationship goal as u…just run …it will surely give u pain n heart ache if we don’t recognise if both parties r on the same page at the first date itself !! ❤️ thank you Susan 🫶