The narcissist lacks compassion . The narcissist lacks empathy . The narcissist lacks accountability . The narcissist lacks gratitude .

That explained it so well! My husband has said divorce to me 23 times in 6 years! Then do it! Nope! Always has to come down to me. Well, I did it! I filed after he had a rage and really was ugly to me again. He was floored I filed for divorce with no job - yet, no money - as he controls it all and no other place to go. I did it and it feels so freeing! He is now begging me to go to therapy. lol. Everyone here can laugh with me at that one! If we mattered, then why didn't you do something before now? Why can't they just let us go! I did it! I did it! I am doing it!

This is the worst nightmare that can happen to anyone. I've never known a person who wouldn't leave no matter how many times you ask them to get out of MY home.

So true. I knew he would never leave so I had to pray for the courage to go.

I’m the most awful person in his eyes- but he won’t leave he won’t let me leave

When I first met my ex husband's family I noticed that they always had some crisis they were going through. My family never had that. Years later I realized that he and his family were addicted to drama and chaos and I was feeling overwhelmed constantly. It wore me down and exhausted me. When he left, it was weird to not have the chaos. I actually felt bored until I realized that this was just normal life minus all the unnecessary chaos. I felt like I was detoxing from a drug addiction and it was actually very difficult because in this process of living for so long in the chaos, my sense of my own identity had shrunk down to nothing so when the chaos was gone I felt like I had no life and no identity. That has been the toughest thing to deal with. I don't really miss him, I miss the life that I thought was real and the excitement that came with the chaos. My nervous system was so overworked that it has taken years for me to recalibrate and start to feel normal again. You described this perfectly in your post.

Exactly what I’m going through!!! He will not leave 🤬. He’s constantly cheating doing reverse psychology blaming me and yet I pay all the bills .....Ugh my head hurts just thinking about him and his bullshit !

Video starts at 3 min ...promotions first 3 min..

Been dealing with this for 3-1/2 years...he just will not let me go..

Omg, yes, if I am so horrible and garbage why is he still HERE!? I leave and he just wont go away or leave me alone. Love bombs me and omg - I move on and he just wont leave. He did mentioned that he doesn't want to leave becuase he can abuse me as punishment cause I make him mad. I think he is just bored, no job , no goals.

After being a scapegoat of my narcissistic parents for 30 years I'm starting over in a new city. I feel drained sometimes. It's so peaceful. I'm so happy but it feels like i have just left from an addictive situation. I am never going back.. they try to scare me saying i wouldn't get a job and that i should come back. I'll make my life here far away from them😊 and I'm so low contact. My parents deserve to be with each other. Two demons happily ever after 😈❤👿 Things are going great for me now. I have SO MUCH energy and peace. My head doesn't have those nasty comments anymore

Good video. Been almost 2.5 years since he left now and I still think too often about the countless offenses and anxiety I have/ had at going certain places that I think I might have to see him. Today is his birthday and all I could think about was how he would ruin every holiday, birthday, ect. He even tagged me then untagged me on a picture of a birthday cake he got me that he sent to another woman ( one of countless jabs) when he finally moved out. I spent 3 months begging him that if he didn't want to work things out that I would have to file for eviction. All conversations were circular with gaslighting, projecting and blame shifting. When I did file he still wouldn't leave as the court system kept backing up the court date of which he would receive text on. He played the fact that I don't have much family left as support to his abuse, financially emotionally and otherwise. He left only a few days before the court date. Apparently squatters have rights. He loves drama and playing the victim. He used reactive abuse during these 5 months ( note it got worse when he graduated his dwi program and immediately went back to drinking) to play the victim to everyone else as he was searching for another target of servant services and someone to help him pay the bills. He would get drunk and say i threw him out when i would actually get upset that he threatened to leave as his license was still revoked. In hindsight i see that most all his actions/ lack thereof and lies were premeditated. He bought a house only after I told him he could get a va loan otherwise he wouldn't of done a thing as he so lacks accountability. Well, it's endless, but I can say one thing. That is that while I'm forever changed, I'm now stronger, wiser and uphold my boundaries better. And I will never chase after a man again as not everyone deserves to set at my table of life and I'm okay with that. Still, it took alot of self reflection on my behalf. I grew up with a narcissist father and a toxic mother so I grew up thinking love was conditional. Not so as I an enough. So, there's the closure I have that he ( ex narc) would never give me.

Holy moly you just blew my mind. I’ve been “pain-shopping!” I’ve been in solid no-contact but expect him to email me at random times begging for me to have coffee with him so he can tell me his truth. I have absolutely no intention on meeting him or responding, but I find myself checking my emails just waiting for them to come in. I didn’t really understand why receiving them was so satisfying but also unnerving and now I know! I have been pain-shopping like a damn cocaine addict.

My narcissist was constantly criticizing the chaos in our family. I never knew what the hell he was referring to. But he always came back to that criticism.

I feel like they’d deal with what they r doing to u if u cheated they’d stay 🤷🏻‍♀️they’d be treated badly they don’t like their self they’ll accept w.e tbh they call ur bluff n try to train u otherwise but if it happened they’d eat it up

❤Trust, it is not ALL on the narcissist. We allow what we allow. We'll blame people for how they treat us badly, yet we remain in a situation that we know is toxic. At that point, you're no longer a victim, but you've become a participant of your own pain.

He ghosts and ignores me. Even told me I am " just some girl," but in the same breath, he "didn't break up with me." Well, which IS IT? I can not live like this any more. He does not say I love you ever or call or text. Maybe one text every few days. Wtf man.

My partner wouldn't leave either, he is very stubborn and manipulador!!

He got his flatmate to call me and say that he has been sleeping with others girls. Then an hour later she called to say it was a bet between them to see who could predict my reaction more accurately.

The images or mask makes them stay. Image control. They must look good. He/ she left me. Chaos don't react to it. They have you on an intermittent schedule. Watch their actions skip the words. They create the tornado because normality is boring for them.

I have one in my home and he will notnleave.i have adhd and he says I am the narcissist? He even thinks he doesn't need help like therapy. He is a vulrable nice guy narcissist so he has fooled so many people of his false self. They don't believe he is a nice man he is not. He complains about me when I get frustrated beche manipulates and gaslight me . I'm so tired of this person. Hrs Codependant and has serious abandìssues. Nobody wants to be alone but I would rather be alone than be with a narcissist.

Exactly 💯

Well put. Now I know! Thank you.

EYE OPENING! THANK YOU! 🙏🏽

I can't get girlfriend to leave my apartment because she says "she has nowhere to go" I sleep on a tiny loveseat every night, she sits in a computer chair texting all night. I don't want her here, I want her to leave but she won't. She threatens all the time to yell and scream and she always says "well cops will be here you want that" I just want her to leave so I can live my life but I can't move on when she's constantly here!

Very important information!

I needed this, ty so much...

Thanks!

HE WON'T LEEEEEEAVE

Ben, big fan here! (Also, I have long-term experience with the pain and confusion of close relationships with narcissistic individuals…thus my following your videos!) Your metaphor of the tornado captured me. Spot on, as far as my experience of how they operate-creating chaos. Keeping everyone around them off-balance-as a power play with the chaos-is completely my experience. My question: Per your eye-of-the-tornado space where a narcissist stays, is it also because that is where a narcissist finds peace for themselves, as well as a sense of power? Not able, perhaps, to feel peace and normalcy when things are not chaotic?

Mine left thought said he wants a divorce but hasn’t served the papers

My wife has served me 3 times in the last year. One week ago she was balling, balling, balling over an hour until I showed her affection. I was served 3 days later. She’s flipped back to stone cold wall who cooks me dinner every night. So confused. Help.

Thank you so much for this video! I've always thought it was the narc adhd that they get bored they start a fight. They swear they hate drama but always seem to be the one starting it. How can one know what is adhd vs narc on pornography boredom? Thx again.

Once again i keep telling telling my husband go find a new supply. He says i don't mean it. What ?!i haven't slept with you or even in the bed for 4 months.come on now. He is extremely co- dependent actually more than me . I use to be really bad with co- dependency. The lord has healed me tremendously! I never knew narcs were co- dependent until recently. I was shocked.

😢 I’m stuck with a narcissist and she doesn’t leave

Ooh! I know this one! See, you gotta Ship of Theseus this shit, and plank by plank, make your home be someplace they don't know how to find. Super easy- barely an inconvenience.

I'm the one who is going to contact on the Covert Narcissist. His mind games are horrible, and I feel them. He's a covert, I'm a Heyoka Empath.

Hate living like this. Is he going to kill me or something?? Any thoughts, suggestions, and advice would be graciously received and deeply appreciated. Thanks for taking the time to even read all that...(refer to my previous post/comment) Brightest blessings to all! 😊

Is this what my husband does when I go just a little over budget? He will flip out and tell me how awful I am at money when he has pir family on such a small budget.

How do I get my narcissistic wife I now want her to set me free and stop bothering me?

What relationship?

So is it worth working it out with a self aware narcissist and if they truly want to make a change? Or am i delusional and just brain washed from all the trauma??

So if a narcissist is self aware and "gets help" is it worth working it out ? Or am i delusional and brain washed?

Hes not even here 🫣

I am a narcissist.

Great content...Intro too long, 2 1/2 minutes!!!!

I cringe every time you say “The Wife”

So is it worth working it out with a self aware narcissist and if they truly want to make a change? Or am i delusional and just brain washed from all the trauma??

So is it worth working it out with a self aware narcissist and if they truly want to make a change? Or am i delusional and just brain washed from all the trauma??