I am fixing to get a divorce and go no contact. Its time.

Beautiful walking path there. Newbies, please know emotional healing is a journey. It takes a lot of time, work, and self-compassion. It's not linear. Be proud of your efforts for putting yourself first, second, and third. ❣️

Sad, sad truth. Who knew!? Your "Love, Surrender and Devotion," would be weaponized against you!

They really wring you out.

Hard to believe their are people like this. Are they really this cold and calculated? Yes, yes their are. TOO Many.

2 years no contact with my “mother” now and still struggling to get over the ABUSE.

Neglect the narc........not yourself!!! ❤ Be Well 🌈🎀😘

"The Giving Tree" story is about a narcissist and his supply. Don't fall for it. We don't have to give our ALL.

Yes! My ex husband waited until we were married for 30 years until he had stolen every penny from me & physically abusing me was no longer fun. He was also furious that I had aged! No contact made him furious but it is SO wonderful. The new supply ended up in prison.

i found that once my love was gone and they knew there was no more left of me to give the narcisist started calling me everything she was i was now dead inside and had nothing left to give and knew i had to save myself

Another lady was talking about reactive abuse and this is another reason to leave as soon as possible before you explode and get accused of being the abuser.

My narcissistic mom was a lawyer and super intelligent which made her very dangerous

She waited till her children were grown, after I raised them, while both their fathers were incarcerated.

Exactly true💯the biggest Betrayal I ever experienced,,they're so Shameless,,t.y. Andrew🔥💖🙏

My adult children are narcissists like their dad. They learned from the best.

This is exactly on point. Two and half years since the discard and I am cured. There is light at the end of the tunnel. Sending love to all of us in this group from Australia.

Adult sibling narcissists suck! You don't choose to associate with them- you are often required to. One can think that they are just spoiled. Pernicious. Sickening. They may be going for the golden adult/child status. They likely want more or all of anything left when the parents die. They can resent the past, and take it all out on you. Loss of old friends, family, money, self respect...recognize it- and GET OUT!

This is exactly what my ex did! After 27 years! Fleecing the bank accounts for the last decade tried and still tries to turn our 5 children against me my son and totally think she wanted me to end my life so she could claim my insurance! And she’d probably get it because I have a history of clinical depression! But I haven’t had any depression since going no contact 3 years ago!!! These people are pure evil do not hang around run and don’t look back I can’t say it more!!!!!

My experience only lasted 9 months but i was broken. I was lucky enough to fly away to the other side of the planet without my phone and healed without any contact with anyone including the narcissist and her flying monkeys.

Your money. They take your money. My ex-husband drained our savings account, bank accounts, investment accounts, and my retirement account.

ANDREW 100% right ❤

So true that I was a fuel source!

So TRUE.....This is so crazy....they can NOT be human.....I can't imagine doing this to someone. THANK YOU, BROTHER FOR THE WISDOM.

While there were red flags from the start that I ignored because of the push pull and loneliness.. I still question why it took so long to ramp up the bad behaviour in every way possible.. his past relationships ended quicker and therefore he revealed his mask to some of those earlier.. why so long with me!?.. those were supposed to be my good years!.. I had plans for myself!.. but it comes down to what you said.. I still maintained energy and good health etc until recent years where it’s just become too much and has impacted me negatively .. especially mentally and I’m exhausted in every way.. it’s too tiring and life is too short to waste it on trying to keep a toxic person happy.. I had heard elsewhere when we’re younger we think we have all the time in the world.. I used to think this way as well.. but we don’t .. I am learning this now.. thank you 💜🪻

At the end of it I’m just not even interested in s** anymore … that’s crazy you said your health declines. I was sick twice the last few months we were together … he didn’t even care and still pressured me for intimacy while I was sick and working at the same time … doesn’t even care … I honestly don’t think he cares about anything or anyone. So full of hate and darkness. Even his place was full of darkness and depression. I never woke up feeling happy or excited in that relationship. Sometimes my dreams were disturbing.

Exactly! She should be prosecuted for all she's damaged.

My counselor said that I was on autopilot.

I realized awhile back that narcs and empaths are polar opposites in many ways, (I know!), but specifically, where they live in time. Narcs lives in the constant "Now". This is why they seem to not understand simple things like, if you do A, then B will result. Its not like they don't get that B will result, they are living in the RIGHT NOW and only care about A. Empaths, seem to live in the past and the future. An empath can see clearly that A will very shortly make B happen. This is why future faking works so well with empaths.

Im gonna go into battle vs my narcisist brothers and flying monkey brother cause they are gonna bring back my ill mom to the city which i live, pray for me, please.

Love the place you're at today. Reminds me that you don't have to carry the past on the path you're on today. 💚🌲🍀✨️

Yep...she was targetting her new supply before I even left. I was groomed... I remember her talking about her previous supply on day 1 as she was smearing him. Thank you, Andrew. Listening to your words helps me so much. You're a great support to me. 😊🙏

So spot on. This could have been directed at me. 23 yrs. 10 mos out now, yes I did accept a hoover because I thought at 61 yrs old I had nothing left. 6 Weeks into that and he couldn't even be faithful. I caught him so He went back with the new supply he left me for 10 months ago. Those timeshares, and beach vacations she provides have a strong pull. What a hard lesson, but I was educating myself so this didn't hurt much at all. He cheated in her with me, so I know now, he'll NEVER change. And the cycle will go on, but without me this time.

"sidenote protip" lol aw man you got the best segues

Gosh I love your facial expressions. So true. I had nothing left to give but really I had decided there would be nothing else to give again. I had to let this person go and all who were with her. Best thing I ever did for myself. My replacement was not only a step down but literally a step down to hell.

He finally got his inheritance

One thing that helped me break things off and go no contact: I was more than ready to break things off with the narc but still had some lingering questions. This is when I made my phone appointment and talked to Andrew. I knew, by watching his videos, he was the only person that would understand what I was talking about. I discussed my lingering questions with Andrew until I knew I understood and had full resolve. Then I was able to walk away that way and not look back…never to be tempted by a hoover. Clear any questions you may have until your mind is clear. This will aide you to cut things off, in your healing and never look back. My prayer for you is that you safely make a clean break and heal to your optimum health enjoying your best life. ✝️🙏🏻🕊️☀️❤️‍🩹🌷✨☀️✨💖✨🌟✨

Incredible video! So much valuable information. I experienced a reverse discard.. I left..and he is still draining me financially while refusing to acknowledge the divorce papers..praying this “game” is over soon…

Yes got stress, anxious and felt like being judge by them 🥲

you are telling The truth. that's the life I lived . that's exactly my experience and pain .. these creatures no matter race and skin colour behave all the same

Spot on. Left me when I was at my sickest. Infact, told me I had Munchausen’s after I came from 6 days in hospital. In retrospect, I realised he was moving his stuff out whilst I was receiving treatment there .

They too are dwindling..and running out of zest and fire.

Great video Andrew!! Narcissists wait because the longer you are with them the weaker you get. They want you at your weakest. Narcissists spend their entire lives waiting. Waiting for the new supply. Waiting to place people in the narcissistic fog. Waiting for the next opportunity to come along. Make them wait the rest of their lives for you. You're not going back. You're moving forward. Wishing everyone clarity and peace.. 🙏

My Ex Narc waited til he was well on his feet financially (forgetting I took him in from living with his Mom with no steady Job)I also feel like the other supplies had over the years didn’t put up with his Crap so he always came back.I feel like a fool that took to long to leave. 21 yrs of wasted time😭😭😭

Lastly, i figured her out and I ended it. I know that I had a lot more to give. In saying this, she probably set me up for this….she had new, Supply in the very next day. But it does not matter, the trauma bond bubble has burst and I am gone, no contact, ALL Social Media Blocked. I can only hope that the new, Supply works out so that she will leave me alone. I’m free. 🤞

When they see you change after everything they done to you for years they start slowly not wanting you and they think you should change your ways and how you feel well too late I'm broken and way to hurt the trust is gone and you start to distance yourself more and more everyday and they will start noticing that and you're love is fading and caring less.

So beautiful and after observing that beautiful background, can't stay inside nowwwww - have a great narc-free night everyone if possible. Otherwise, there's the gray rock method. Thank you Andrew🌳❤🌲🙏

You are soo right! My ex narc husband cried on the phone because he couldn't do taxes. He also couldn't figure out his half of a bill. But he would criticize me and put me down but I did everything!

Yes the narc took my health before he left after 7 years supporting him. I was attacked by him and incurred a bad injury, a broken tibial plateu. I was planning on leaving for an outta town job. A new job, leaving my home. I owned it not the narc. The narc had a history of calling Jobs and cussing out my supervisors.The narc wanted me to sell my property but it didn't happen. I have been laying on a couch for 3 months unable to walk because I was attacked by it. The narc wanted it all and realized that i didn't care anymore and that i was wanting to give my land to my kids not squander it with a 50 yo punk. Im actually up and walking now but im broke as i ever been now im trying to get a medical release so i can get a job and he is trying to pay 500 dollars for someone to re break my knee and leg. This parasite won't be with me again. Relieved to be done . I went no contact. I wish i had done it sooner.

...walking.... along.. thanks for the reminder Andrew,the road is long...but i ll ...get there. ❤

Yep, I got injured in a freak accident playing with our kids, which turned out to be *my fault*, and then 'ruined HER life.' Thought I misheard her. That blew her future dreams when I did heal fast enough for her. Demanding divorce. Verbal abuse. Gaslight the kids 'stop yelling at me!' while yelling, and I never raised my voice. But they were old enough to see. Then she started scapegoating our daughter and she moved out under duress age 17. 2 have gone no contact. 2 moved away. Once safely away, I said OK, what do want (re divorce)? "Oh you can't divorce me, you don't believe in divorce." (gaslighting me, telling me what I believe). And has fought it the past 4+ years, smear campaign, loss of my church, some friends, but time and tens of thousands dollars later to attorneys, this part is finally winding down. But never will be completely free, but 99.9%. Even long ago I've been at the mountain of indifference, because "never enough" and death by a thousand cuts, I realized I loved her the best way I could, but it was never enough. I still pray for her soul, do not wish her ill, just OUT OF OUR LIVES. Only a God-performing miracle can change her.

The were waiting because people are not so easily killed. We are resilient by design. The stronger you are, the more time they will need to put you down. Their bigger boost of energy is if we die, sadly.

It truly is as awakening once you realize these people exist! You are right, you definitely cannot go back into the world like nothing ever happened.

In the case of our friend,either she likes being in the situation or she dosen't enjoy it one bit. One thing her friends and family know is that for the past 2 years ,the narcy ex was hovering around her at the casino like a famished vulture!

My Narcs name has “Fogg” in it, which is sort of hilarious. I’m now out of that “Fogg”.

Yes! My health 📉!

What an experience with a Dark Personality Disorder will do: You will never miss it again if it should present. You learn a trauma bond was your own dream. You will recover self esteem. Your adrenal fatigued body recovers. Your brain fog / freeze is gone. Your will never ignore intentional boundary daggers. You admit your naivete of interpersonal exploitation. You realize zero contact is the elixir of health. You will not need anyone to complete you. You will be ecstatic with your new no drama existence. ...A veteran tip. Andrew's extensive library is a resource many didn't have just a few years ago. It was different then with lots of screaming and no introspection on how you got there. You can literally speed up the recovery process. It does take repetitive affirmations to replace the memories where a fog once occupied. All the best.

❤Thank you Andrew ❤

Thanks, Andrew.

You been spying on my life, Andrew? 😝 I kid, I kid. Seriously….originally I thought “Nobody could endure this much crazy”. Sadly I later found there was a huge correlation

WHAT A BEAUTIFUL AREA! Thank you Andrew loved this one too! He was so calculating would write things down, with a priority list of what he wanted as if he had to remind himself as re-enforcement…Just awful…

Ssoooo funny because I once told him that he was sucking my energy and I felt drained. I never even realized I was in a narcissistic relationship. But I felt my energy being drained and I said it out loud . Dang I am really chosen

He's isolated me. Totally! trapped. scary.! wont even let me drive.

That is such a genius way to explain future faking ❤❤❤❤❤ that part of me wishes I had met you while I was being conceived 😂😮

I am learning all of this in real time.

"The narcissist needs people doing things for them". This. Every single time I listen to you, a light bulb goes on in my head. You have remarkable insight and I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for giving me the strength to get away from the toxic narcissist in my life who has been manipulating and pestering me for twenty years. Thank you. ❤

beautiful video loved the location hey andrew have a great evening 🌚❤

For most, to remain the perpetual victim, it must occur via a “reverse discard!” Also, there must be at least 2 alternate supplies where at least 1 will work out “pseudo-permanently.” And like you said, you become ill and can literally no longer act as a prop wife/husband to “look good publically” to the community-the grand facade!! Oh yah, and this: the kid(s) reach legal adulthood! Buh-bye!! Right???

The two siblings waited 64 and 66 years. A long wait.

Thats clever what you you said,They build up buisneses behind your back and it comes as a shock to us, we know nothing about this ,New friends buisness etc ,

That's exactly what happened.

THANK you Andrew for the Truth told!! 🙏💯🇫🇷🌿🌿🌱🌱ENJOY YOUR DAY!!

The whole family does this to people its.Sickening!

Thank you Andrew!!!!

Went No Contact for almost 2 years & she still won’t leave me alone. She’s married & 2 more kids after ours, does it ever end🫠

All accurate and true and hard to accept.

Blows my mind every time i listen to you. This narcissist is undergoing losing everything. Universe is taking over for my person. Going under water for good. He has done this his entire life.

Thank God for the light bulb moments!

So good, as always !!! Thank you ☀️💜

Thank you Andrew ❤ It was a complete shock to me to sit in front of a new KZfaq channel to me....yours... and you fully described my past relationships to a tee!!( especially the most recent one). Somehow I knew/ felt something was definitely wrong but couldn't understand what was happening. I never thought about narcissism before watching your video's then the penny dropped!! Thank you Andrew, every day you're helping many of us through these difficult times. I've walked away from him now and I'm slowly getting back to my old self again😊❤

Thank you. Please say more about narcissistic adult children and their effect on enabling parents. I need to hear this many times in many ways. Not much is out there about this dynamic.

When I made my friend call him he said No he was not giving me closure and he would talk to me when he felt like talking to me. I had news for him I gave myself closure!!!! I worked on me jokes on him 😂😂😂😂😂

It was so harsh. The day after I moved in we went camping and I tore the meniscus which rendered me unable to relaunch my dog hiking/boarding/grooming business after I invested all my hard earned cash to do so. Then realizing I was being devalued then only to have to move out and escape from the narc. Plus the fact I dismissed the red flags which God sent to warn me. It's been a difficult season. However, God is good. He healed me. I relocated in a different town and have several irons in the coals that I am working on. The curse, became a blessing.❤🎉😊

For many people marriage is the ultimate proof of love For the narcissist it is just a merry go round. It hurts a lot.

I appreciate everything you say on this thank you for your wisdom when your outside of the relationships it makes so much sense. There is so much clarity. When you are involved it can get hazy & foggy hard to see what's really going on. I hope that there are people watching that are in the midst of these toxic relationships & are getting their eyes opened 🤦🤷🙋👀

So true money dried up my health got worse.

😮 Ooo Andrew, this video has enormous charge. I have lost and gained so much during time of being present with one narsist. Won because I might have lost even more . Thanks for sharing. I see you tomorrow 🙄

Wow. This is so on point with my life. I see it and I'm healing

So true my narc expected me and his mother to do all his chores for him

THIS IS TRUE ABOUT OUR HEALTH! My body starting getting diseases at age 15. Narc dad. Married to a narc 17 years. Have low thyroid, asthma, panic attacks age 15. Fibromyalgia & arthritis at age 22. Then, high blood pressure & CPTSD. I am real careful now to not allow anyone with toxic behaviors in my life.

GOOD point! i noticed that with someone i knew

That makes sense

My ex girlfriend doesn't tick all of the typical boxes and her behaviours went realised for years until after the discard because they were so subtle and she rarely broke character and lost her cool. She didn't life confrontation so she was passive in her abuse tactics and preferred to use her silence and absence as her weapon of choice and was strategic and tactical with it. I didn't realise I was getting the silent treatment because we were still texting each other, but it was the only form of comms that she would respond to. But the content was very limited to a handful of banal subjects like the weather, work, her kids etc. No intimate discussion could exist during this period and she would denied anything was the matter when asked why we were suddenly speaking in WORKSAFE MODE in complete contrast to our typical talk. She knew how overactive my mind can get, especially when triggered or aroused. Plus she knew how my anxious mind was hyper aware and preconditioned in ways that meant I would detect the most subtle of mood changes and micro expressions and instantly worry that I had done something wrong and she would occasionally switch her demeanour suddenly to appear angry or upset (but refusing to acknowledge it) and then disappear for a certain period of time, leaving me to mull over all the possible bad scenarios and take blame for something that may not have even happened. By the end I was a nervous wreck. Paranoia was increasing, I was becoming very irritable with things around me, I had less patience and was becoming less socially aware and sensitive of others which lead to me upsetting a couple of friends and neighbours. I had a nervous breakdown brought on largely by the gaslighting, and then about a week before the discard I was involved in a car accident when I suffered some inexplicable momentary lapse that was so bizarre that even now I can't explain it. I'd driven for over 20 years at that time and that was the first and only time anything like that had ever happened. I was in such a wired state then and so jumpy at the slightest interruption. I could even startle myself!!! I don't know how much of this was due to the toxic relationship I was in at the time, but within 2 weeks of my discard my anxiety reduced by about 50% for no other reason. IN TWO WEEKS!!! Sadly it took a lot longer to get the anxiety down to more "normal" levels and it doesn't take much to trigger it. I had an ongoing police investigation for almost 8 months regarding the driving incident, and I was very lucky not to be charged and taken to court, imprisoned or banned from driving (which would have instantly made me unemployed at the same time). Although knowing who my ex was now, I wonder if she would have revelled in the thought of me going to jail or getting banned from driving and losing my job??? 1.5 years later and life still feels rather desaturated. It's hard to relax or enjoy things and I find it hard to get motivated to get up and do things or see people. Friends are telling me to get out dating but until the feelings of overwhelm and regret leave me I just don't have any interest in it. I didn't just learn that my ex was narcissistic, but also my mother and best friend of 30 years, so basically the key people in my life who were there early on and in my most trusted group. Moving on is a slow process, but the hardest bit is dealing with the overwhelming sense of injustice. It's more than infuriating!

I have always wanted to help re: cooking or baking but I was told that " I don't need your help". Also, when working 2 jobs I wanted to give someone a gift. My mom said, " if you give anyone anything I am going to take your money and what you have". She took my typewriter and gave it to my sister.

Andrew, add to the list of what a narcissist wants the supply to provide: children.

WOW !! DEEP and Deeper !! What can i say either than my X !

"You were new, you were naive, you didn't have boundaries, you had money, you had health you could travel the world you could give them a lifestyle you could provide for them..... all that gets old the Narcissist" Bingo 🛎️ No truer words. They attack as any other predator does... when you are weak distracted, low & they swoop in. They become the "bite" to your scar. It's disgusting in hindsight but to survive & have the knowledge now is a gift 🎁 a blessing a very privileged rescue. Im so thankful for what I escaped. Im grateful to simply be with myself, nobody to trip me up. Sharing this information at this time of life is truly a calling ❤️😎❤️

Andrew i found this channel after my relationship fell apart once and for all.Everytime i click on your videos i am literally seeing you say the same thing i say to people about what i am going through!.I tell people i am a shell of my former self.I do have health problems caused by her,some which can't be reversed.I loved her so deeply that it consumed me and simply ruined my body through years of chronic sleep loss.If the mind suffers the body will follow!.Thanks Andrew!.

So true, I had health issues, and the narcissist treatment got worse. Eventually leaving me broke, almost homeless.

You WOULD NOT BELIEVE how much SHIT I used to do for my ex girlfriend - who I believe has quite a few narcissistic tendencies. I got food for us about 95 percent of the time, I would sometimes give her a little bit of money to gamble with, I bought her cigarettes (as well as my own), I bought EVERYTHING for her cat - food, toys, cat carrier, leash, collar, etc., I would drop her one daughter off at work at least twice a week and I'd have to pick her up at like 5 in the morning, one time, I drove her other daughter to Pittsburgh just so she could go to a "rap concert" and I live near the Buffalo, New York area - which is like 3 hours away from Pittsburgh, I would drive my ex and her kids to whatever store or stores they wanted to go to, and the list goes on and on. This is the WORST part. We broke up in early December of 2023 but I managed to find her at the "New Year's Eve" party at that casino we went to. I wanted to talk to her and give her some Christmas presents that I bought that I couldn't return. I gave my ex girlfriend the most expensive gift that I have EVER bought for ANYONE that I EVER dated - a $400.00 Artisan Kitchenaid Stand Mixer, and do you think I even got a "Thank you"? She had the FUCKING BALLS to say, "I'm so proud of you for going to the store and picking that out all by yourself." NO JOKE - She REALLY said that. On a separate note, I am WELL AWARE that I shouldn't have tried calling her yesterday, because I've been in FULL no contact for two months, but I was just going to say, "Hi, how's everything going, hope you're doing well....blah, blah, blah, but can anyone guess what I was greeted with on the other end of the line? "This number is no longer in service.....". NO JOKE about that either. I am NOT saying that I was perfect during our relationship. I KNOW I made some crucial mistakes but I can at least OWN UP to what I did. All she could do is run away, ghost me, block me and not face ANY of the issues that we were having and she sure doesn't want to face HER issues. I had even suggested counseling and other options to improve things between us in a letter I wrote, but she never responded to my letters, phone calls or emails. THAT is how a person who MOST LIKELY has narcissistic tendencies drives the final nail into a SEVEN AND A HALF YEAR relationship.

You are correct! My relationship ended for me like what just happened? Out of the blue and followed by ghosting and no real closer. No accountability from her she used me up on to the next one! Brutal indeed changed my life! A discard is not fun at all damages your ego because you most likely damaged theirs. They live for revenge! You get bitten by a vampire you turn into one of them! Choose the path of love and forgiveness hate will eat you from the inside out. Forgive and be set free. ❤️🙏🏾