You Need To Stop Being A Simp
Рет қаралды 279,835
Күн бұрынIn today's video, we'll embark to understand and overcome 'simping' - a term often used to describe excessive admiration without reciprocation. Our goal is to foster a healthier mindset.
Learn more from Dr. K in his Guide to Mental Health: bit.ly/45NirwY
We'll delve into strategies to stop negative feelings towards others who may be labeled as 'simps', addressing the underlying reasons for such emotions. Importantly, we'll explore self-reflection techniques to help you overcome self-criticism and build self-esteem.
▼ Timestamps ▼
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00:00 - Introduction
02:24 - Supernormal stimulus
04:03 - Supernormal relationships
07:10 - Being taken advantage of
09:46 - Taking the red pill
14:04 - How do we fix this in a healthy way?
21:09 - Conclusion
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DISCLAIMER
Healthy Gamer is an online community and resource platform for gamers and their families. It does not provide medical services or professional counselling, and it is not a substitute for professional medical care. Our coaches are peer supporters, not professionally trained experts, and they cannot provide medical service. If you or a loved one are experiencing an emergency, please call your nation's emergency telephone number.
All guests of Healthy Gamer are informed of the public, non-medical nature of the content and have expressly agreed to share their story.
#healthygamergg #simping #simp
@TheGamingBDGR 9 ай бұрын
The opening going from "dudes being nice to women" straight to "Beetle sex practices" has some real VSauce energy to it and I'm here for more of that.
@turtleguykero 5 ай бұрын
I miss the old vsauce
@Chuck_vs._The_Comment_Section 8 ай бұрын
Only do things for the girl because you like her, but don't do things to make her like you. - That's how I keep it.
@realheckertrustmebro 8 ай бұрын
what if she stops liking you then? lol
@periidote9778 8 ай бұрын
@@realheckertrustmebro then don't be with her. why would you want to be with someone who doesn't like you if you aren't specifically trying to please them? you deserve someone who actually enjoys being with you when you're just being yourself and not a people pleaser
@cheezyllamba 7 ай бұрын
I wish I could like this more than once! It’s just like how my parents taught me to do good things for others out of kindness and not looking for a reward. Just the adult version haha
@Chuck_vs._The_Comment_Section 7 ай бұрын
@@periidote9778 Exactly! As the saying goes: "Don't make someone your priority who only makes you an option."
@PinacoladaMatthew 7 ай бұрын
that's simping bro
@pandurlolgg5780 9 ай бұрын
Spending money on someone who forgets about you literally seconds after saying „thank you“ is really something.
@NerdyCatCoffeeee 9 ай бұрын
Where was that one clip of a guy donating 10k to pokimane (pokimaine?) and she wasn't even in the room or something. and when she gets back she doesn't say anything / simply says thank you
@keylanoslokj1806 9 ай бұрын
Well it doesn't matter. Both get something. He gets the respect, niceness and leadership that women would never surrender to him in real life. Especially women of that caliber of looks. And she gets to finesse him of coins and feel a goddess
@telefrag. 9 ай бұрын
Depends on what intention is behind you giving money to someone. Would you expect something more than a gratitude if you give a tip to a musician busking in the park?
@raze956 9 ай бұрын
@@keylanoslokj1806 except that he doesnt get respect. or niceness. or leadership. if saying "thank you" is being nice than you have deeper issues going on in your life.
@keylanoslokj1806 9 ай бұрын
@@raze956 in a private chat a model can tell you anything you wish to hear. You confuse OF with twitch streamer thots like pokimane. Who are even lower effort. At least good OF ones surrender some femininity to make it more immersive
@MrWatsa 9 ай бұрын
The more I see my problems as addiction-like issues, the more I understand substance addicts. I feel like I was pushed to be addicted to fake intimacy because I feel so deprived of real intimacy. And it's hard to let go of the fake intimacy when there's nothing to fulfill that need afterwards.
@xcryosonx 9 ай бұрын
Comes down to priorities id say. What would you prefer to do, spend your time and cash on a lie, or swallow the red pill and start doing the work to get out of your predicament. One feels like a clear path forward, while the other is like continuing to spin on the hamster wheel.
@giacoyt4147 9 ай бұрын
@@xcryosonxyou sound like a bot dude. You’re on a video criticizing the entire redpill movement, responding to someone who’s relating to intimacy issues explained in the video, by advocating for the red pill? I genuinely can’t tell if it’s satire or if you only know how to communicate in talking points
@el4244 9 ай бұрын
I hope for you to find a way out of that fake intimacy. It will be a bit lonely at the beginning. Make sure you keep yourself real busy to not falling for it again.
@amnbvcxz8650 9 ай бұрын
It’s not all other people’s fault that you don’t have the real intimacy.
@fishtower1046 9 ай бұрын
Absolutely, felt that 💯
@jrussino 9 ай бұрын
"The things that I hate within myself, are the things that I will hate the most other people" - this is one of those tendencies that can be really easy to notice and point out in other people (how often do you hear accusations of "projection" these days?) but can be very difficult and uncomfortable to search for in ourselves.
@d1rtyharry378 9 ай бұрын
Yes I get this and is probably correct. But I tend to hate things in people that I can't do myself. For example I don't have any social skills and I don't speak anything when I am socializing with people. I hate this in myself. And I find myself resenting others for having social skills and socializing with such ease and I hate that I can't do it myself
@catsozen 9 ай бұрын
Textbook Jung's Shadow. Very good to be aware of.
@Monipenny1000 9 ай бұрын
@@d1rtyharry378 my daughter struggles with this too, she isn't comfortable around crowds, even family, she is very quiet, with the exception of her very few closest people. I told her that she is a good listener, the World needs more listeners.
@CosmicAnchor 9 ай бұрын
@@d1rtyharry378 I want to point out how this statement is still correct. Objectively you have these abilities. You just dont like the level you are at. If you are level 2 in social interaction and see a level 50, that doesnt mean you dont have your two levels. Your just more hyper aware of your missing 48 levels. Get good and keep practicing- every second you get. Every level 50 was once a level 2. I promise you.
@0num4 9 ай бұрын
Projection is, after all, a defensive mechanism for our selves. We perceive some attack within our minds and accuse some outside force of doing the same so we don't have to suffer the attack for that time frame. It's uncomfortable as hell to be around a projecting person, but it can be worked through with time and effort.
@isaiahhernandez6510 7 ай бұрын
It really helped me when Dr.K said simp is a word meant to denigrate people's capacity for love. My capacity for love is a good thing 😊
@BorkDoggo 9 ай бұрын
I like Dr. K's recent approach of taking questionable but popular internet slang, doing a good-faith interpretation of the issue, and giving actionable advice
@westvirginiaglutenfreepepp7006 9 ай бұрын
Definitely
@TheHaiku2 9 ай бұрын
In what world is simping = "being nice to women" a good faith interpretation of that topic?
@BorkDoggo 9 ай бұрын
@TheHaiku2 I don't think you watched the video? He's deliberately critiquing that sense of the word. He goes on to basically talk about parasocial relationships and getting psychologically attached to things you shouldn't
@AzumaRikimaru 9 ай бұрын
Woke Andy didn’t even watch the video and is criticizing a Doctor lol.
@MrReese 9 ай бұрын
His most recent videos have been a lot more questionable regarding how he approaches them and his opinions towards them are way less scientific and more "trendy".
@Gustmazz 9 ай бұрын
This channel and it's community is one of the few places on the internet where I feel most people are sane and rational. Thank you, Dr. K. 😊
@jhern083 9 ай бұрын
I try to be, but I can certainly say I'm here for more clarity on my internal experience.
@kingghidorah8106 9 ай бұрын
Give me your hair
@jerstumc5033 9 ай бұрын
i think so, ive just discovered this channel
@Gustmazz 9 ай бұрын
@@kingghidorah8106 What? 😂
@FUUUUU1111 9 ай бұрын
@@Gustmazz and I'll take your nail leftovers.
@kylemacdougall8355 9 ай бұрын
The term "simp" was not invented to denigrate men for being kind to women. It was invented to describe men who are OVERLY nice to women for bad reasons (either fear or the desire to get something from women). It describes men who exhibit people-pleasing behavior rather than genuine kindness.
@tomwright9904 9 ай бұрын
"Misogyny everwhere" I tell you
@ecclecticsayonce5131 9 ай бұрын
Actually I think that’s what it ended up becoming, in the early days it was what you’d say to someone being nice to women because the assumption was that they were only being nice to score
@KevD720 9 ай бұрын
Boyz II Men made a song about simpin in the 90s 😂
@guts2044 9 ай бұрын
@@KevD720 do you know the name of the song? Thanks in advance.
@bapanada9446 9 ай бұрын
Did you not watch the whole video? The people pleasing behavior comes from addiction. People at r/trees are simps of weed, it's the same mechanic.
@ellisjackson3355 9 ай бұрын
Simping isn't just being kind to women. It's being overly kind to a woman, unnecessarily going above and beyond for her, when she really doesn't care one iota about you, or at least nowhere near as much as you care about her. Doing this in the hopes of trying to get her to like you
@haaxeu6501 9 ай бұрын
Agreed, a simp doesn't have any self respect
@snowleopard9907 9 ай бұрын
Men often forgot love cant be forced or be earned. When i was younger i felt bad for men like that and tried years try like em for there efforts. If person doesnt like someone its not gonna happen and its unfair on both partys to force it
@shadowflare7230 9 ай бұрын
Maybe so, but you'll see some red pillers online calling others simps the second someone is treating another woman like a human being.
@ellisjackson3355 9 ай бұрын
@@shadowflare7230 that's true and that may have been where Dr K got that impression from
@JanM2 9 ай бұрын
Yesnt. You know theres just no clear definition of simp used by everyone as its not some kind of scientific term that was defined once for everyone to use it a specific way. There may be you who uses it this way, but then there other streamers like sneako who basically just calls everyone a simp that watches a female live streamer assuming shes just trying to gain money from simps
@HonoredMule 9 ай бұрын
Hyperbolic praise, white knighting, and self debasement aren't "being nice to women." All that behavior is purely selfish, competing for attention in a manner that requires no understanding, actual care, or self improvement. No doubt people get labeled simps for actually just being nice to women (especially by clueless macho-identifying men), but that's _not_ what simping is. Also it's not just a romantic/sexual phenomenon and the same applies to all para-social relationships where people compete to say the nicest, most extreme thing. It's _"I'm_ your number one fan" 2.0.
@RShaun 9 ай бұрын
Good call out!
@malachitestorm 9 ай бұрын
finally someone said it
@minabotieso6944 9 ай бұрын
You are putting women on a pedestal with this comment
@HonoredMule 9 ай бұрын
@@minabotieso6944 You're gonna have to explain that to me. I'm pretty sure I was talking about _and to_ men, rendering no opinion whatsoever about women. Make no mistake. How you act is always about who _you_ are.
@dr.d3011 9 ай бұрын
I was gonna comment until I read yours. It was written perfectly. Thanks for correctly defining the word instead of listening to Dr K prattle on about nothing
@Baldbutstillhuman 9 ай бұрын
Just in case anyone misses the point: Being nice is holding the door for a woman and treating her like everyone else Being a simp is giving her your life savings and worshipping her.
@BoxOfCurryos 9 ай бұрын
being kind is helping others while holding boundaries. be kind, not nice.
@peterra8407 9 ай бұрын
If you are holding a door for a woman then you arent treating her like everyone else, you are treating her better than half of the population(men)
@k.o.o.p.a. 9 ай бұрын
Holding the door for a woman and treating her like everyone else is kind of a paradox, no?
@bobobsen 9 ай бұрын
You can go further. Rushing in front of a woman to quickly open a door for her is still borderline simping. Rule of thumb is if you wouldn't do it for a guy, don't do it for a girl either. Don't put them on pedestals.
@jujuju20121 9 ай бұрын
Who holds the door for men?
@jonahgilbert7878 9 ай бұрын
This guy covers a lot of stuff that chronically online people (most of us) need to hear. I really appreciate this guy and his work.
@emiliovazquez6370 9 ай бұрын
Thank you for everything. You’re helping me to become a better person. I quit weed. I’m controlling my sexual desires. All I want is to become a great man.
@Undoing88 9 ай бұрын
Hey friend, keep up the awesome work. Sounds like you're making some really fantastic change in your life and I hope you're proud! The you of tomorrow, and next year, and next decade, thanks you for doing the difficult and crucial work! Cheers -some random internet person
@benliu1556 9 ай бұрын
I think what I learned most from Dr. K is that you already are a great person. Or at least the capacity to be a great person already resides in you, you just need to become aware of that, and nurture it. It’s a seed, and every time you embrace your emotions as they are, you water it. You won’t know what that seed will blossom into, it could be a daisy or a rose or a daffodil, but it will blossom, and it will blossom into something that is uniquely your own. All you can do is choose to water it and nurture it. In the meantime, play around, have fun with life where you can find it. We only have so much time as it is, may as well enjoy it.
@louisvth8520 9 ай бұрын
@@benliu1556 This is well said
@Laure__Line 9 ай бұрын
Good job ! You got this :)
@dominick358 9 ай бұрын
Man stopping smoking weed has been the best thing for me. Dr.k has been such a great help In a lot of aspects of my mineral health but especially when it comes to exposing the effects weed has had on me long term.
@maxbas2018 9 ай бұрын
This was hard on me man. I literally don't even know now if I've ever really been in love before. The hardest part at the end "It's hunger, it's an addiction" really did the rest to me there
@MrDarkbluewater 9 ай бұрын
I get that. I am unsure what the difference between this “simp” topic and having a crush would even be. Maybe there is none? I have always thought of love the way Dr. K describes it as somewhat utopian. You love someone, so you let them go? That sounds like something no one should be able to do without at least an internal conflict. I guess it cannot be a “simp” versus love (black or white) thing, but rather a fluent transition with no clearly defined line.
@franisthebest1234 7 ай бұрын
i think the main difference between love and addiction is that if your love isn’t reciprocated, you won’t resent the other person for it. it’s perfectly normal to be frustrated or sad that when you get rejected or if your love goes unrequited, but if that feeling was healthy then unless that person was very rude to you, you wouldn’t truly resent them for it as you understand they’re human and that people can’t force love or feelings for someone. there’s also a difference between doing nice things for someone in an attempt to get them to like you and doing it because you want something from them. in addictive situations, usually the nice things aren’t being done out of true kindness but as a sort of transaction, which is why they get frustrated when they feel they don’t “get what they’re owed” in return for all the effort they put in. again it’s ok to feel sad when you put effort in for a person and it doesn’t pay off, but if you truly love them you wouldn’t resent them for it. also i’m sorry if this didn’t make loads of sense btw, i’m bad at articulating myself 😅
@andnowyouknow3363 3 ай бұрын
@@franisthebest1234 I disagree. You're basically saying that anyone who feels resentment for unreciprocated love must not have genuinely loved. That's not how it works. Plenty of people who genuinely loved only to get backstabbed in return. No sane person with an ounce of self-respect and who values their emotional investments would not feel some sort of negative emotion to the person who took them for granted. Sure, no one is obligated to love back, but it is in the right of someone who feel some type of way when the love they are giving out of free will is taken for granted. I advise you to step out of your black-white binary thinking in which you think that anyone who feels resentment must not have truly loved. That's not how the world works. I genuinely hope you won't ever get to experience the pain of your genuine love being taken advantage of. Because that's when you will truly see how ridiculous your arguments are.
@CoolSaver 2 ай бұрын
@@andnowyouknow3363but he clearly stated "unless this person was really rude with you". I think using your love is kinda rude (to put it mildly), no wonder you'll feel resentment when the truth comes out. He was talking about more respectful relationships that just didn't worked out, which makes sense this way.
@andnowyouknow3363 2 ай бұрын
@@CoolSaver The main premise being set here is that one who feels some sort of resentment must not have truly loved. Whether the person was rude or not is irrelevant as plenty of 'nice' people who are not rude still take the love they receive for granted and don't reciprocate as they promised they would. Relationships who don't work out happen. People who take love for granted, causing the other person to form feelings of resentment (perfectly normal reaction), and others who gaslight the person for feeling resentment is not the way to go. I'm calling them out on this.
@victordiez6841 9 ай бұрын
We'll never stop simping for you Dr. k
@Gordon_-_Freeman 9 ай бұрын
That’s right 🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵
@dylansmith6078 9 ай бұрын
Bro when he said his shirt is slightly unbuttoned I almost bust, close call
@jayesh1891 9 ай бұрын
@@Gordon_-_Freeman ayo wut🤨📸
@Gordon_-_Freeman 9 ай бұрын
@@jayesh1891 you heard me
@somewhereatvinland 9 ай бұрын
Respectfully
@RamonLopez-tp7hi 9 ай бұрын
I think "simp" being used to describe men being kind to women is more of a case of appropriation than the word being made for that specific purpose
@nothingreallyrhymeswithora9377 9 ай бұрын
There is an obvious fine line between a man being nice and a man clearly simping for a chick. A guy burning his whole paycheck for a woman (he isn't even dating, no less) is being a pathetic simp who is being taken advantage of in the worst way.
@DseanSupreme 9 ай бұрын
It actually is being used maliciously by guys on other guys, out of jealousy of the act of kindness without expecting anything in return. It happens in younger spaces like early 20s, but thats how all of these insults are used. Much like how Weeaboo was originally to describe people who genuinely thought Japanese social culture and life was VASTLY superior to american life, its since been lowered to being used to describe just any anime fan.
@Rytom 9 ай бұрын
@@DseanSupreme Weeaboo was used to describe someone being a wannabe japanese person, but didn't have any of the characteristic of someone living in japan. The cliché would be, speaking only ten words of japanese, their japan knowledge stops at anime, they haven't set a foot in japan once in their life but behave as if they were japanese, or try to show off by doing so. You could also add the obnoxious teenager (not kid) that runs with their arm behind like naruto. Basically, a cringe behaviour related to an obsession with japan, while they don't know shit about it. Maybe that's me, but I don't think it was about being superior to american life ? Anyway, I also hate how weeb is now used to describe anything that touches japan's pop culture, it's super degrading for no reason and makes no sense at all.
@000wanderlust 9 ай бұрын
Yeah men who behave decently toward women will instantly get called a simp online from what I've seen (yes actual simps get called that too). It's sad how much some men hate women honestly.
@haaxeu6501 9 ай бұрын
A simp is someone who doesn't respect himself and goes to incredible lenght to get a crumb of attention from women who in turn don't respect them. Of course some people misuse the word to mean a man being kind to women but that's not the true meaning of the word.
@roycerreynolds 9 ай бұрын
Still waiting for a video on how to deal with emotions in the moment. It’s much easier to make the right decision when I have time to reflect, meditate, and contemplate, but when I have to make an immediate decision, I find myself feeling like I can’t figure out what I truly want fast enough. I would love to hear Dr. K talk about this topic.
@ikilledzombie2140 9 ай бұрын
ill come back to this comment with some video links but there are a couple videos like this. some topics to search around is stress, anxiety, and his takes on personality, emotions, stoicism, awkwardness and maybe socializing
@Ryan-wx1bi 9 ай бұрын
How many times do you actually need immediate reactions to an emotion? You never have time to sit there and kind of think/reflect for 30 seconds?
@roycerreynolds 9 ай бұрын
@@ikilledzombie2140 oh thanks I’d really appreciate that! The most impactful videos I’ve watched from Dr. K have to do with processing emotions and they’ve changed my life, but they are usually talking about processing those emotions a while after they initially occur (whether it’s hours or years) instead of processing them before you respond to your emotions (within seconds or minutes).
@raze956 9 ай бұрын
@@roycerreynolds in what situation would you need such fast responses anyway? can you give an example?
@roycerreynolds 9 ай бұрын
@@Ryan-wx1bi I find I need/want to immediately process them sometimes but not always. For example if I’m having a conversation with somebody and they say something that made me feel a certain way, I might want to express that feeling to them. The problem is that if I don’t know what I’m feeling I will have a hard time expressing it to them until I do know what I’m feeling. And it would be nice to go home and meditate on that feeling then bring it up again the next time I see that person, but it doesn’t always make sense to bring something up that happened a while ago. That’s why if there is a way to know what I’m feeling in the moment, I’d love to know what it is.
@echillykahlil 9 ай бұрын
I like this description. Calling simping an addiction, the subtle difference between love and addiction. It kinda reinforces my experience with my ex as compared to the parasocial experience I've been having. It definitely feels bad, and even watching this video feels pretty terrible. Thanks
@ConcernedPmGhost 9 ай бұрын
I'm glad i never fell into the simp trap. Despite being lonely.
@ikilledzombie2140 9 ай бұрын
to be fair the definition of simping is subjective. Maybe you have maybe you havent
@spanner5940 9 ай бұрын
@@ikilledzombie2140 nah fuck that. theres a simple definition of simping: giving up personal value, either emotional or economic, to another person who attracts you through sexuality but gives zero shits about you as a person. i, along with OC and many other self respecting men, have been able to avoid this trap and have beaten the statistics. unfortunately many have not, and i hope they one day recognise simping for the demon it is.
@Bioniclema90 9 ай бұрын
Actually, same. I refuse to pay for nsfw material.
@ikilledzombie2140 9 ай бұрын
@@spanner5940 idk man you kinda proving my point because that is my definition. I find simping to be under a broad umbrella and also feel like masturbating to porn/pornstars devalues and also wastes your time. I also believe that its what making alot of people simps. Good that you beat the system. Me personally I never PHYSICALLY simped but i have devalued myself in different forms
@wh.n 9 ай бұрын
@@ikilledzombie2140 its not really subjective? It is not Idolize, Like, Attract or any of the similars. It is Simp, giving up your values for another person
@Coddlesworth 9 ай бұрын
Interestingly, the word simp is already being "reclaimed" by folks. Many are using it to point to the ways they show adoration for someone without expectation of reciprocity or underlining that it can be quite normal to simp which strips the negative connotation from the word.
@deletedchannelname7426 9 ай бұрын
i still remember the stream where Dr K asked "what's a simp?" genuinely hearing the word for the first time. how far we've come! i wish everyone were able to progress, build and expand upon what they love, and to let it flourish with time.
@gavinp214 9 ай бұрын
Dr. K’s Guide to Relationships is sooo needed. This video has some incredible insights that allow us to recognize patterns that are otherwise considered to be unworthy of attention because of how normalized they’ve become.
@elvil 9 ай бұрын
A book would be nice
@demonschnauzer1555 9 ай бұрын
I’m a woman but I can relate to some of the stuff in this video. I definitely used to be the type to do anything for another person who had said they weren’t interested, expecting them to change their mind. And yes, this just led to resentment. My brain would even go so far as to assume other people are jerks BECAUSE I am interested in/attracted to them. It was unconscious, I only recently noticed that this is what I was doing. I understand now that this is mostly just defensive. If I allow myself to try to get to know people I’m interested in, and not just protectively assume they are jerks and shun them, I open myself up to the possibility of being hurt. But, it’s better to be potentially hurt than to just avoid love for my entire life. Also it’s really unfair to the other people to assume they are jerks just because I actually like them?
@amygirl9534 9 ай бұрын
I was actually thinking about what the female version of this might be. I'm sure there are other women like yourself who have done this, but usually it's the male who thinks he has to "win" someone over. I think more often, women tend to "crapfit" themselves to one-sided relationships, often with the label of it being "casual," thinking and hoping that if we just hang around and be accommodating for long enough, this person will love us. And we'll make a ton of excuses for the MAN for why he's slow to reciprocate. And then we realize too late we're just being used, usually for sex. So as opposed to these guys who think they are entitled to someone reciprocating their "love," we sort of settle for a plate of crapola that is maybe half-love or not love at all.
@Zooxtry 6 ай бұрын
Love gets you addicted to a person, even in a healthy relationship.
@jacobkendrick7841 9 ай бұрын
What is difficult for me is the feeling of injustice of someone not loving you back. Its our responsibility to solve our own issues, but we also undoubtedly have to rely on others to give us the love and attention we need. Sure we can work on ourselves, but the reason we have these addictive behaviors in the first place is because others never gave proper love to us despite us needing it. Sure we expect love in return, cause were only human and need it and we would only expect that if someone sees that your starving then they would have the courtesy to support you. We settle for tricking our minds for having love because thats better than nothing. and what is the saddest part of it all is that people don’t really care to return love when we do everything we can to give it. We in society only want to return love to the people who are secure and don’t need it as much. (The attractive and confident people.) and we like to ignore the people that need help and we see them as invisible. Thats what makes the game feel rigged and this is where the anger (especially towards women) comes from.
@amnbvcxz8650 9 ай бұрын
Yeah usually people don’t empathise as much with unattractive or average people. We unconsciously feel they deserve less. That bias is difficult to overcome.
@jacobkendrick7841 9 ай бұрын
@@amnbvcxz8650 not only that but the bias towards people who are more happy with themselves and confident. Society lacks the understanding that the people that are the weakest need support the most. And it’s not just a problem with women either, men are guilty of this too.
@lnaph 9 ай бұрын
Love cannot be bought by doing things for someone. No one can force someone else to love them. Not everyone is meant for us. Very few people become intimate friends or would be a fitting aprtn4r...and most people don't have the skills to self reflect to sustain a lasting, healthy relationship. Many people also seek people that have qualities they th4mselves do not possess...and would n4ed to be a fitting partner. We cannot resent people for not loving us as it is a very egotistical thought that everyone should love us just b4cause we want them... and that thought process is a red flag to a healthy person.
@jacobkendrick7841 9 ай бұрын
@@lnaph I agree you can’t force someone to love you and rationally you shouldn’t resent someone for not loving you. My comment is just trying to put into perspective the emotions of someone who is broken. Cause imagine someone who is starving and everybody else has sandwiches and nobody hands one to them. Would you call them egotistical for feeling like it is an injustice that nobody is feeding them? Despite doing their part?
@lnaph 9 ай бұрын
@@jacobkendrick7841 I think one of the biggest lies that the mansophere spreads is that women all have a plethora of guys to love them. Attention is not intention and many women live without romantic love, too. many women choose to be alone, because they do not see healthy options.,, and somw survive on crumbs starving for love because they live in the delusion someone deceiving deceiving will one day give it. The situation is raw all the way around.
@JLchevz 9 ай бұрын
Once again Dr. K understands it more clearly than most. Not taking a side is difficult, but actually understanding people and their actions takes a lot of patience and objectivity.
@AtitJee 9 ай бұрын
I have been watching this video over and over again for many rounds. It hit so hard and gets me spiraling down the rabbit hole in a good way. Thanks 🙏🏼
@tristanhicks1419 9 ай бұрын
Bro still can't stop the simp. Hope you get well, man. acknowledgment is the first step.
@soy_boy69 9 ай бұрын
"You shall not simp !!!!" _ sun tzue the art of war
@keylanoslokj1806 9 ай бұрын
The art of handling thots😂
@_Lumiere_ 9 ай бұрын
The way you describe it as an addiction that mimics love seems very similar to how love works in a "real" relationship. So does that mean that when we are with a real person, that love is a form of addiction? Where we experience withdrawal when we are away from them or when we break up? I wonder if a lot of the things that we view as positive in society really just function the same way as addictions, except that they are considered "good" addictions. And if a relationship ends up abusive, the love that makes you stay ends up being a "bad" addiction, even though it functions the exact same way that love in a healthy relationship would.
@zehenglai1816 9 ай бұрын
Trueee
@SyntaxSeed 9 ай бұрын
That's a good point. I don't quite understand how Dr. K describes love as so different. If my husband suddenly left I wouldn't be happy that he was off finding new happiness. I'd be heartbroken & angry. And I know he'd feel the same. The description of healthy love in this video sounds vulcan. 😬
@_Lumiere_ 9 ай бұрын
@@SyntaxSeed I dont think that what he says is necessarily contradictory, it's just that it seems to imply that a lot of the positive things that we deem to be healthy seem to just function like addictions, just with good outcomes. Perhaps that's part of the reasoning for spiritual asceticism and hermits, who detach themselves from "wordly desires", including notions like family and love.
@survivor_of_the_ashes 8 ай бұрын
I so needed to hear this. Thank you so much Dr. K.
@ichigossbm4636 9 ай бұрын
Keep coming back to 14:04 and listening to it everyday. Mr. K put so much gusto and heart into what he was saying that people living it feel it resonate deep.
@trve_ingvar 9 ай бұрын
Thanks for this, as someone who's been addicted to a person this really opens up the whole picture. My situation is a little different though, as that girl treated me very well in the rejection she gave me, almost like "I care about your well-being, and what you are doing is not good for you". However that made it that much harder to let go, as having a person this intelligent and kind in my life would be amazing. But on the good side, I can still adhere to the principles of love and be happy for her living her own life.
@kristoffer2250 9 ай бұрын
"Today I'm gonna teach you how to stop simping" This is a very weird timeline lmfao
@dumdum164 9 ай бұрын
Love the video! Video idea: Could you make a video about how to handle hating your own voice
@jo3y960 9 ай бұрын
I felt attacked for how real this was for me. Thank you for this vid 😊
@alexandrugalan5 8 ай бұрын
Are you still addicted?
@jo3y960 8 ай бұрын
@@alexandrugalan5 It's not that I've spent money on people. I just spend a lot of time online making stuff up
@lazysnipeify 9 ай бұрын
It’s heartbreaking to see people truly believe that they have to earn love and affection 😢 I was and am one of those people
@amnbvcxz8650 9 ай бұрын
Lots of women are this way too. Simping for men who won’t commit and wasting time on competing for someone who’s simping for another person. Most romantic interests are just simping for someone who seems so good precisely because they simp for someone other than you…😂💔 i also noticed if you like back someone who tried to make you interested, they are turned off immediately 😂
@Orange_Swirl 9 ай бұрын
As far as I'm concerned, there's no such thing as unconditional love. So yes, I do.
@HCSAgirl99 9 ай бұрын
I neeeeeeeed more examples of what is love vs what is addiction. Genuinely new information and very helpful
@CODandponies 9 ай бұрын
this vid was a bit of a wake up for me. Thanks for the help. I'm not a simp, I don't have only fans or anything but it showed me why I want to have a relationships even if I don't acutely enjoy it.
@jsmith108 9 ай бұрын
The audience definitely needs to hear this
@WhitePillMan 9 ай бұрын
This is so needed. Amazing explanation. Thanks Dr. K
@RShaun 9 ай бұрын
This was excellent information!!!
@jiffpop5143 9 ай бұрын
I don't know where to draw the line. I fell in love with my best friend but I think in an attempt to not be a simp I am actually treating her worse than others
@thisiswhatilike54 9 ай бұрын
The one question you should be asking yourself: Is she reciprocating the effort you are investing into the relationship? If yes, then no worries. If you're making more of an effort than she is, pull back a bit and let her decide what to do with you. The hardest part about that is accepting what she ultimately chooses. Don't ghost her or anything like that, but don't always drop everything to make yourself available to her beck and call.
@amnbvcxz8650 9 ай бұрын
Try to treat her nicely, then disclose your feelings and ask if she has feelings (or could fall in love). Then if she doesn’t answer or avoids you or explains it’s a ‘no’… the temporary pain will be better than wasting years on some self-hating bs of ‘BeST fRIeNd, We’Re JuSt FRieNdS’ while missing opportunities for other women who could love and appreciate you. Also, some people might enjoy you being in the friendzone and purposefully confuse the hell out of you… if she’s confusing, let that ego maniac lose. I’ve known a couple women who disclosed this to me, and been on the receiving end with men, so trust me i know your pain and there’re lots of AHs who get off on your pain😂
@tubalord3693 7 ай бұрын
If you genuinely like this person, the best thing to do is be honest with them because if they can’t be honest with you, it’s not even worth trying I would explain that you feel that there is something wrong with you explain your passion for them and try to ensure that you’re not trying to hurt them. You’re just figuring yourself out if they are receptive as if they would be willing to help It’s all about respect, honesty, and cooperation, secrets are the death of a relationship
@tasenova2717 9 ай бұрын
For anyone that doesn't want to go "cold-turkey" you could try audio. there's tons that engage fantasies. you're losing that special connection or whatever, but you're not paying. you're not focused on what the person looks like. you are just thinking about the imaginative stuff and then you may start to introduce it toward your partners, as you start to feel you want to actually have that reality instead of just listening
@WilbertBernadiTomoh 2 ай бұрын
Distinguishing love from addiction involves recognizing that love is mutual, values the other person, and requires selflessness, whereas addiction revolves around wanting something from the other person. I appreciate your insightful video.
@Killerkraft975 9 ай бұрын
I feel like this touches on a parasocial aspect. This just adds on to the fact that that alot of people who watch streams can feel attached to their streamer because it feels like a relationship. Not only are people feeling lonely with friends but also in relationships which can definitely feel more attachment. I like to think to myself 'they dont know you lil bro' to remind myself I am just a random chatter and they have no idea who I am.
@cherubin7th 9 ай бұрын
Oneitis means that you cannot move on and are stuck in the past. Also Simp means that you throw your money and/or attention at girls who don't actually reciprocate it. Simp doesn't mean to be nice to women in general.
@robbiemedica2652 9 ай бұрын
Yeah and they are terms that are meant to be used for self motivation to describe things to avoid. They're not meant to be used as insults from misanthropic incels who also can't get laid.
@chrisjfox8715 9 ай бұрын
Yet a ton of dudes rush to the opportunity to call a dude a simp just for doing the latter.
@jamiebowler4693 9 ай бұрын
I may be a porn addict but I thank my stars I’m not an OFs addict.
@keylanoslokj1806 9 ай бұрын
Based 😊
@Pandcakes936 9 ай бұрын
At least you get to keep your money, right?
@jamiebowler4693 9 ай бұрын
@@Pandcakes936 true
@ConcernedPmGhost 9 ай бұрын
Also OF leaks exist.
@jamiebowler4693 9 ай бұрын
@@ConcernedPmGhost real
@s0nic6999 9 ай бұрын
Great video. Thank you. I learned a lot.
@warmredwater 9 ай бұрын
This is incredibly fascinating.
@westvirginiaglutenfreepepp7006 9 ай бұрын
Never had this specific problem but i have nothing but sympathy for people who do
@gabrielhoelzle8476 9 ай бұрын
I think a lot of this has to do with real love/intimacy being so unavailable to young people nowadays. I'm in my late 20s and most of the friends I have around my age have never had a significant other despite wanting to, so I get these alternatives being so popular
@lucaswillemsens1289 9 ай бұрын
Great video! Keep doing the good work :) There was one thing that I must say I disagree wholeheartedly on though and that's what you said about love being different from an addiction with regards to being able to let someone go. I feel it really undermines the point of love being more than a feeling or a biological pattern because love is also about deciding. I don't think you truly love someone if you let them go. I feel that is too easy. Like you said, love is about the other person, how can you love someone that you don't interact with? I do agree that it's not love but an addiction if you're in a pseudo-relationship and you can't let go at all. However, to me: Love is a choice that you make every day, and one that you should stand by. A promise that you will care for someone through good and bad. One that is based on feelings of adoration and respect, and preferably organized in a way that is nurturing for both. I don't agree that walking away ever is an act of love. Going no contact can be necessary, yes, but I disagree very much that you should do that if you love someone. Taking a step back might be good for the relationship, be good for both people even, but if you truly love someone it will possibly hurt much much more to leave them than it will hurt if you are addicted and leave them. I feel taking this advice could be catastrophic: What if you are in a bad relationship and you go no contact. Later that week, something terrible happens and the person dies. Then you missed out on the death of your most loved one, just because you were trying to outplay unhappiness in your own mind. All I'm saying is that if love is about the other: Don't leave because you are unhappy. Address the problems together.
@matthernandez5481 9 ай бұрын
Dr K is a treasure to humanity. Thanks for all the videos
@thisisntallowed9560 9 ай бұрын
I think this also applies to women who are extreme boybands fans. They buy their CDs and go to their concert and pay for fanmeetings to give the idols gifts. They travel to other countries just for this and I heard some spend all their money for transport. I saw this with BTS korean fans.
@bxp_bass 9 ай бұрын
When you love a real person -you also want some affection, casual interactions, sex and other love things from them, you not only give it to them and don't care if they aren't answering with the same. Otherwise, you're trying to say that if I love someone - I should love a completely aloof person and be happy that they don't care about me. But this is not the best relationship (actually, the worst). You need something in return and that's also love. Yes, you're giving them love and affection but if it's just one way - it's useless and you should end this asap. It's not love. So, things are the other way around.
@iwonder_why 7 ай бұрын
Sir u don't know how much this vid helped me open my eyes, till now i was unaware of diff between love and addiction. Thank u so much for this
@d4mephisto 9 ай бұрын
Absolutely brilliant video.
@neildutoit5177 9 ай бұрын
Also just a heads up that a lot of OF creators are now employing AI to communicate with fans without disclosing it. If you pay for communication there you could be talking to a bot.
@thewiseowl8804 9 ай бұрын
That’s sneaky. Makes sense this would happen though. AI relationships are the future.
@Snake369 9 ай бұрын
when it wasnt bots, it was cheap labor. that's not new unfortunately.
@Rapitor 9 ай бұрын
This and parasocial relationships with streamers go hand in hand. It's not necessarily a "bad" thing, even with simping. The main issue, i think is going overboard and becoming addicted and/or not actually realizing it will pretty much never go beyond an entertainer/guest relationship, like you say. Buying merch here and there, subscribing/superchats/etc. a few bucks every now and then is probably fine too. You can still enjoy in a healthy manner being just another statistic/metric/whatever to the streamer, even if they "know" your username. But there's a line between that and donating hundreds, sometimes thousands of dollars that gets crossed somewhat often... Even if you're financially well off or an "oiler", that amount is simply overkill. If you're doing that and your NOT financially well off, as in you're giving up meals and/or living paycheck to paycheck just to "support" your favorite content creator... take this video seriously.
@1Neck913 3 ай бұрын
"The things you hate within yourself are the things which you will hate the most in other people" This was something which resonated within me like for like so long
@ricardo1e93 9 ай бұрын
The fact that this video came to be made me feel great cause I've seen this coming since got into grade 5. Which for me was in 2005! Dead serious, not even joking nor trolling. I still remember asking myself why are other boys and girls obviously showing off they're got each other just to look cool, I know teenage love is just hormones jumping around but I could remember the genuine confusion when they broke up and change bf/gf overnight. Also remember some girls just looking cool and having shitloads of guys after her. So many times getting home from school and asking "why is this normal". So... here we are.
@durandus676 9 ай бұрын
2:24 i think the weirdest church sermon and the one that helped me the most when I was a kid was from an online church called north point, the sermon series was called, “Love Sex and Marriage” it was all about how popularized behaviors in movies and stuff and porn, could mess with your would view and do things you now wouldn’t be proud of and you in the future would regret or never realize is causing you a lot of issues.
@minigunner1218 9 ай бұрын
I’ve gotten to the point where I’ve learned to distance myself from any woman I start to have feelings for, and usually it works. But it doesn’t stop the fact that I continue to fall in love so easily. At what point does it become reasonable to just not want to have romantic feelings for anyone anymore? As much as people tell me that I’ll find love someday, in reality… not everyone finds love. Not everyone has to find love to have a happy, fulfilling life. I’m just so tired of it tormenting my mind for so long.
@MandoCarlrisian 9 ай бұрын
Letssss goooooo! The video ive always wanted. Probably needed too😂
@TimeWatch11 9 ай бұрын
Absolutely nailed it!
@AuGoldification 9 ай бұрын
fact check: SIMP does not mean, translate or stand for "being nice to women." it means going out of your way to please women who do not care about you or your interest in them.
@grantwithers 9 ай бұрын
A whole lot of being "nice to women" is "going out of your way to please them who do not care anything about you or your interest in them" derpa.
@Andrew300082 9 ай бұрын
Yeah, ‘being nice to women’ isn’t simping. Simping is supplication. It’s giving these girls dollars who will never give a flying fuck about you.
@grantwithers 9 ай бұрын
@@Andrew300082 As opposed to giving them to scarjo, margo robbie, etc. etc.? Also simping? Or just consuming entertainment and paying the entertainers?
@xr2kid 9 ай бұрын
@Andrew300082 yes but a lot of ways simpin has been used by men to denigrate other men for agreeing or being nice to women. I actually saw a bunch of times a man would agree with something a woman says ans here comes a sea of dudes calling him a simp. Cuz apparently you can't agree with a women?!
@grantwithers 9 ай бұрын
@@xr2kid if it just so happens to uphold the gynocracy/feminine imperative then yea it's simpin for women in general, and in that case the one woman.
@kia-yj3vp 9 ай бұрын
I want to thank dr k for this. This was very eye opening for me.
@jeffkuta7590 9 ай бұрын
Great video. How does this advice intersect with Dialectic Behavior Therapy and Opposite Action? And does Simping arise from DBT/OA?
@earthbind83 9 ай бұрын
Very nice video!
@aggarius2944 9 ай бұрын
That intro was savage😂
@steampunk2404 9 ай бұрын
i think alot of people would identify themselves as a "simp hater" or critique for judging these "simps" for choosing an artificial and forced parasocial interaction instead of even trying to get real social interactions and most likely just hate the desperation in it
@nighteye4042 9 ай бұрын
Yes. One of the issues with them, though, is they often lose the original thing they were critiquing and just attack dudes who are nice to the women in their lives
@keylanoslokj1806 9 ай бұрын
NONSENSE. Those men would NEVER command the respect, time, attention and femininity of women of those looks in real life. He pays for something he legit can't have otherwise
@raze956 9 ай бұрын
@@keylanoslokj1806 news: he doesnt command respect with money. she gives you a little time but will forget about you once the next guy gives her money. its not sincere and if you are that desperate to get a females time, you have deeper issues going on. i was lonely for years but never resorted to that artificial kind of relationship where you are made a fool. thinking she has respect or that you have any authority is a big cope and not true at all, once you run out of money she literally wouldnt even look at you. where with a real gf, she will stay with you even if you hit a bad time. and if you cant get a real gf, work on yourself to viewed as an attractive partner. and dont use tinder or other apps for this since they are literally trash for most men. there are things you can do to find happiness in real life, but not if you do this nonsense behaviour simping that no one, no male, female, or even the content creator can respect you for. you are a laughing stock of people and rightly so. try "no more mr. nice guy" from robert glover. a must read for men who want to become men, including relationships and sexuality.
@iamme625 9 ай бұрын
@@lesshuman00 If you're constantly getting rejected by everyone you approach, maybe the issue isn't with them.
@raze956 9 ай бұрын
@@lesshuman00 but are being rejected by e girls as well, you just cant see it. the only thing they do is saying "ty" and thats it, you dont have any closeness or intimacy with them, let alone s*x. if every girl rejects you, doesnt it say something about you when no one wants to be with you, even in reallife, where its significantly easier than trying online with tinder etc?
@qwertyuiop123599 9 ай бұрын
this has brought on very uncomfy conversations with myself i needed to have.
@fredjung 2 ай бұрын
This is me. I simped all my life. Thinking if i am in the friend zone, they would fall in love with me. It never happened. Painfully shy. Had first girlfriend at 27 but she wanted a strong man who would take charge. I wasn’t it. Then later met a strong independent woman and married her. She used me like a doormat . Never appreciated that much of my money I gave to her and her poor family. Still married but my pain and trauma made me join the red pill movement hating other simps that tell us we should worship women or sacrifice everything and get nothing back from women.
@rizzlerrickio 9 ай бұрын
Every time I see a video and think PFFT It won’t speak to me because I don’t have that issue IT ALWAYS ends up speaking to me in some way 😭 love you Doc you’ve helped me in so many ways!!
@Undoing88 9 ай бұрын
Dr K and writing team - I'm 1:15 into this video and WOW. Great job with writing, for real! This is such a compelling and well-designed introduction so far! The love that you put into this content is so obvious. Thanks for all the hard work that goes in behind the scenes to make this happen. Especially those of you on the team who never get thanked by name! -some random internet stranger P.S. undo one more button on that shirt and I wont be able to contain myself 🥵 😂
@minabotieso6944 9 ай бұрын
Comments like these show me how strong parasocial relationships can be
@jordanwhite352 9 ай бұрын
So I'm glad I watched this video because I normally really like this channel and this comment through me in for a loop but it has some really good advice and it looks at a very scientific way. I just want to add though that I think this only stops certain base level of things on someone's end but doesn't actually stop the problem which is emotional attachment addiction because I don't like to use the word simp because of what I'm about to say next. What we need to really stop is the capitalization of human emotion and experience. That will stop the sort of abuse going both ways. When you think of the so-called men's right movement and red pill, these men are still sipping, but they're doing it in the opposite direction where they are only worshiping, not even themselves, but they're darkest worse versions of themselves. They are still unhealthily, addicted and attached but they're just not doing it towards the women that they see more as objects than they do people. And the angle of red pilling has always been that the so-called alphas in charge start to sell you stuff. Just the same way that the tenalizing women did again. You're sipping in the opposite direction. Ultimately, we need to realize that these are businesses and that also even if they are your friends, which I have friends who are sex workers that these are also people. Meaning this is a job and even when you are friends as what was said in the video. If they're having a bad day and they need time alone, you give them the time alone. There's no end goal, just live through the experience whether it's genuine or not and said no expectations for anything and I think that will give you a more healthier life. Unfortunately, what compounds this is not only just lack of or bad parenting. Looking at you. Boomers but also because we again have hyper commodified every aspect of humanity at this point. We don't just do things for experiences. We literally now expect a return on every single aspect. Every single thing is an investment. You play this video game level not because of the fun of playing it, but because you want something out of it, you do messages and DMs and take pictures. Not because they're enjoyable but because again you're trying to get something out of it. Fine when it's like your job or trying to make a career but when that becomes your only personality that's when everything goes dire. It's not easy. Someone in the comments wrote how it's way. Easier to do this when you have time to think and reflect, but when you're in the moment you are so short circuited by the situation that it becomes hard to do. It's kind of like the death of someone. It never really heals you just hopefully get better at adapting to it. So anyone who is stuck in some sort of emotional addiction I've gone through it. I'm still going through it. Just know that you're not alone. Good luck out there and whether it's only fans or men right? Activists watch out for snake oil salesman. They are in every aspect of humanity and the internet has not made any of that better.
@solar0wind 9 ай бұрын
I agree with what you said, but you need to divide this into paragraphs. This was super hard to read, at least on a computer.
@thisiswhatilike54 9 ай бұрын
@@solar0windNah, it was difficult to read with a cellphone, too. I quit 6 lines in
@MandoCarlrisian 9 ай бұрын
Man i love Dr. Ks content. Its like having an itch, not knowwing what to do and docgor k explains whats happening and youre ohh right, i should scratch it but lol but not too hard. So fucking good
@JTZMansur 9 ай бұрын
It is extremely unhealthy and I look back on those days with disappointment. Not for myself but because I had no one around me to tell me otherwise. So I was taken advantage of and became someone’s human pet that they could call upon for whatever they wanted. Simping needs to end.
@testermelon 9 ай бұрын
Thank you Dr. K for this invaluable video. You gave me a great insight into my situation. I am a simp. Of my own wife. Yes. I'm also in love with her (within your definitions), but on top of that I'm also her simp. This is no joke, and it have been a recurring problem in our relationship. I sometimes feel the resentment that you described, together with the withdrawal symptoms when I reduce interactions. She loves me too so it's reciprocal but the addiction on my part frustrates me to the point that I sometimes lashes on her. But recently I tried to communicate better with her and try to be more responsible for my own happiness instead of looking for it from someone else.
@MrDarkbluewater 9 ай бұрын
This is the type of comment I needed. Where do real life interactions differ from OnlyFans in this case? To me the “simp” side of the equation seems to be the same. We end up putting too much into another person in search of happiness. Thinking back to presents I have given people in the past, the nicest ones were the ones I gave out “because they have earned it” rather than “because I want to improve our relationship” or whatever.
@exnecross3141 9 ай бұрын
I used to be this way with girls before I got married, and somewhat still am. I used to think it was an issue, until I realized that my dad is this way to my mom, and they've been married for 30+ years. Then a quote seemed to describe all my experiences and stuck with me ever since. I think it was something like "The only relationships that end up working are when a man and a woman love each other equally, or when a man loves a woman more than she does him". Im sure it was stated more eloquently than that, but the point is: as a man you may not feel like your love is being reciprocated equally, but that doesn't mean the relationship won't work out. However, if a woman feels that her love is not being reciprocated, the relationship is doomed to fail. I've just grown to accept that this dynamic is fairly normal and doesn't mean anything is fundamentally wrong.
@exnecross3141 9 ай бұрын
I agree on all points except "if you truly love someone, you would separate with them if it meant they would be better off." First of all, "better off" is an impossibly complicated concept to quantify. I love my wife, she loves me, we both have a very healthy and reciprical relationship. The thought of ever letting her go for any reason is impossibly alien to me. It would never happen, at least from my end. By that logic, it wouldn't qualify as real love? Sure, if we are talking about some fantasy life or death scenario, maybe that option would be on the table. But other than that, neither of us would ever let the other go. If that's not love, I don't know what is.
@misslen575 3 ай бұрын
I didn’t know we can get addicted to just interacting with someone, I thought we are just bored or we just want to support streamers but I can finally see the addiction signs, very informative
@dmeads5663 9 ай бұрын
It seems like the biggest problem causing so many issues is emotional immaturity and a true lack of self awareness when it comes to your needs, patterns, and identities
@MrNightpwner 9 ай бұрын
Self esteem. Loneliness. Emotional immaturity is not broad enough.
@belliott88 9 ай бұрын
You’re only about 75% of the way there. A LOT of baby boomer parents did absolutely nothing but raise their own children to worship them, constantly thank them and subserviently live in service to them for the gift that is your very own life/existence/shelter/food, etc. they gave you. If you ever dared to call this out or even so much as question this parenting style in any way, you were abused to an EXTREME extent physically/mentally/emotionally/spiritually. Or, totally neglected and resented by your own family. Most parents who treat their children like this live in poverty, and own/control nothing in their own lives. So, they raise their children like their own personal slaves they train to validate and worship the parents. Which leads to SIMPS.
@ryanbarker3978 9 ай бұрын
It's starts with removing the word simping from your vocabulary and adding the word limerence. Understanding the psychology of limerence is exactly how you protect yourself.
@cstacksineedthat 9 ай бұрын
That's a great concept for parasocial relationships and many forms of unhealthy relationships as well. It changed my perspective on my previous relationship. Dr. K should make a video about it.
@tomwright9904 9 ай бұрын
I'm all for distinguishing the two... but there is an aspect of being unaware or ignoring being used. Simping, or at at least some forms has two participants. The beer bottle is alive and makes itself look like a beer bottle.
@johndeluna692 6 ай бұрын
Simping is a symptom of a larger issue in our society.
@Victorleonel1000 4 ай бұрын
This video was so hard to watch, it was painful to me 'cause It was like You were reeding me entirely... I apreciate a lot the advices to take action, I want to stop hating myself and get better for real. Thank you.
@motozappa225 9 ай бұрын
Weird that the parasocial aspect isn't brought up here. It ain't real love that OF provides, but the highest degree of a parasocial relationship. That is kinda dystopian considering the mass alienation and loneliness of people today.
@sema85213 9 ай бұрын
I am a women and i realized how much of a simp I used to be 💀
@zackcash4941 9 ай бұрын
Bruh I thought you were opening with the exorcist theme😂
@thousandstar 9 ай бұрын
Fantastic video
@dend1 9 ай бұрын
12:02 The truth bombs this man drops are unrivaled
@michaelsotomayor5001 9 ай бұрын
I hope people don't confuse the idea of being a simp for your actual girlfriend vs. being a simp for any girl. Just because this idea is out there doesn't mean you shouldn't treat your girlfriends properly. Don't look down on that type of "simping"
@Pandcakes936 9 ай бұрын
More like gentleman 😊
@nighteye4042 9 ай бұрын
Yeah, it definitely seems Dr K is using the "simping for someone over the internet/that you've never met" definition and not the "being nice to any woman ever" definition
@I3urton 9 ай бұрын
Putting your gf on a pedestal is inherently toxic, too.
@nighteye4042 9 ай бұрын
@@I3urton Treating your gf properly and "putting her on a pedestal" are two entirely different things
@I3urton 9 ай бұрын
@@nighteye4042 indeed, which is why you shouldn't simp for your gf.
@DaveCharbonneau1 9 ай бұрын
I'm considering calling things off with my empty bottle. Maybe after the weekend?
@aminerachid464 6 ай бұрын
That's literally the definition of being a simp is forgiving someone for cheating
@kukurhuza 9 ай бұрын
I assume those video titles and thumbnails you've been using lately are a conscious decision to target the audience that need this advice in the way that accessible to them, and if that's the case, good job!
@debanikgoswami4834 9 ай бұрын
A wise man once said "If you treat a girl like a celebrity, she will treat you like a fan."
@tonyvice6661616 9 ай бұрын
i wish that everytime someone clicked on a bottom g andrew potate vid it forcefully redirected them to dr K. the world would be a saner place
@coleydavis8456 6 ай бұрын
I feel like there is a contradiction in what he said. Simping is giving with expectation of getting something back and love is giving without expecting something in return but giving without expecting something in return would cause you to be taken advantage of. Then he says love should be reciprocal, well if it’s reciprocal then you should be expecting something in return. It’s all really confusing to me. And I feel like if you offer but the other person is not giving back in the same amount you are giving you should walk away from that person. Not because you truly love the other person but for your own well-being.
@icyclestick178 9 ай бұрын
hey dr. k i am waiting for the cdawgva interview, when will you post the vod?
@BennyGoId 9 ай бұрын
I got better ways to spend my money.... like buying and opening Pokemon card packs.
@MaxIronsThird 9 ай бұрын
SIMP is definitely not about being nice to women. It's about showering them with money, attention and defending them from all criticisms, playing the white knight, while the girl has no idea who you are, that's sicko behaviour.
@radiantveggies9348 8 ай бұрын
Also not holding them accountable for their actions, or letting them get away with buffet style, pick and choose equality
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