Thank you for this video. I have to think about it. Do I want a push/pull for the rest if my life or do i have to find a woman that is as I am. It is all so heartbreaking....

alex put a few sound panels up on the walls around your desk there and your microphone will sound way better. all the reflections are making it sound hollow.

Excellent video. My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life as anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her...

How can I get help with getting advice whether to write letter and whether what I wrote it well?

What if you were their first relationship and it was incredibly special? Life changing for both of us and I’d had dozens of relationships. All my friends say he’ll never find someone like me or what we had again but he just hasn’t found that out yet

I've been more than patient, but honestly, I am beyond over it! It's my time to go after someone who is not only ready, but able, to reciprocate and communicate equally. Let's be honest, the odds of them ever seeing the light; is slim to none & I'm not a gambler. Life's too short and the way they are yo-yo in relationships; is selfish and not fair to the other person. They need to get with another avoidant and ignore each other. JS

Do you have a video about writing a letter to an ex gf after getting left for being needy, jealous, insecure and when to right it during No Contact and what to write ?

OMG... U can watch your clips over and over just drowning in your beautiful eyes, listening to your voice❤ Quelle joie ce serait d'entendre tes mots en français Bisous de la Suède ❤

I once had a neighbor who was cutting down a healthy 11 year old tree, because the leaves fell on to his new truck. I was horrified, and went over to the tree with my wooden walking stick and asked the tree spirits to jump into it (kodama) and I took the tree spirits over to my tree, where it now lives. I now have a tree I visit at the pond, and he says his name is Daryl. I go and touch him, talk to him, hug him, and sometimes kiss him. The tree in front of my home says her name is Cassandra. I had an acquaintance who on plant medicine, could have hours of conversation with the trees. She said that they know the entire history of the earth. I believe it, because all trees can communicate with all trees, because of the mycelium underneath them in the dirt, which are the transmission highways. There is a book on this. *It is truly a most bizarre characteristic of humans, that we smile when we are in pain.* REMEMBER: The hardest person to break up with is the one you've created in your own delusional, fantasy-making mind... 1. Know your value!!! (Do NOT doubt yourself.) 2. Take yourself and your worth seriously. You need to BE A QUEEN to be treated like one. 3. Don’t give easy access to anyone, at any time. Access to your energy MUST be expensive. 4. Do NOT only express your boundaries. YOU MUST show them. 5. Always be ready to walk away. 6. Show that you are focused on actions not on words. 7. Have a healthy degree of skepticism. 8. You must be willing to say NO and you must be willing to lose the man, if needed. 9. Never EVER chase a man! A truly worthy woman, (who knows her worth) does not EVER chase a man. Giving the same energy that you're getting is key and if you don't like that energy then move on! NOW! It can be hard but that's when you need to choose yourself over the damn illusion/fantasy. A man who loves a woman will not ignore her, ever, period. So... If he ignores me I will step back and he will lose me. Simple. Simple. Non-dramatic and uncomplicated. I don’t, under any circumstance: play these childish-abusive-controlling mind games. I will only be with a man who values and appreciates me, and treats me as the Queen, I AM. (Daughter of the Most Hight; King of kings!) Because I am a beautiful and kind and divine and sexy and wise and intelligent and magical woman: who knows my worth. Period. Also, We create each moment. This moment contains, through my focus, both positive and negative... Both painful and wonderful. I can put my attention on what I lack, what I don't have, what traumas I do have etc... And, I can put my attention on the calm moment that I am in, NOW, the food I just ate, and the fact that my body is satisfied, the shelter I do have... (You get my idea!) Both are here... And now. For the sake of fairness, I will allow myself to cry my pains, in the moment if/when they come/arise, AND also acknowledge the beauty I still have in my life NOW. Pain? Yes. Suffering? Indeed. And, also: wonderous magical divine beauty. Blessings to you!

He won't come back this time. I caught him in a lie with his ex GF.

Off topic but I'm wondering why french have an accent

Absolutely brilliant insight. I Never thought I would get this understanding. Happened to me on the 10 minute drive to be dropped off at the airport. Apparently I wasn't very understanding of him going to France (from Australia) to meet up with an old girlfriend who ghosted him 6 years ago and reconnected (narcissist maybe).

Love the step out of this process. I am kicking the goals but wouldn't know it without this amazing presentation. And the visualisation was just a joy to behold. Thank you.

Brilliant! Great great channel

The only thing i liked from my borderline was her sexy body, hornyness and immature ways lol the rest i don't miss the complications and selfishness

Your words mean so much! ❤ you re definitely the best in this topic out there. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Being an avoidant isn’t a personality. It’s a selfish behaviour. Do not date, associate with, or take back selfish people. Their excuses sound like the excuses of narcissists for a reason. Most actually are - the sort of “benign” type who steal the most precious thing on earth: time.

The phrase "Keep Calm and Carry On" doesn't necessarily imply ignoring problems or challenges. Instead, it encourages maintaining composure and continuing with necessary tasks or responsibilities despite difficulties. It's more about resilience and perseverance rather than avoidance or denial of issues.

Keep up the good works

Good idea about stoicism, summed up as possibly “ keep calm and carry on”

Thanks I'll try this tool 😍❤️

❤❤❤

Perfect ending to a wonderful video! I can finally attest that this works! I started my first therapy session on the day he moved out. I went through all these phases of self blame to, he played a large role in this break up too. I went from saying, “he left me” to “he lost me”. That ending had purpose because now I understand things about myself I hadn’t known before. The whys behind my patterns of behavior. That ending forced me to see that I have been codependent in relationships, which is why I chose him to begin with. Once removed from the pedestal, I can clearly see how much better I can do. I had settled with an emotionally immature man with severe mommy issues and abandonment issues. I had done a lot of work before him and he triggered another layer of the work that was needed. Although, I still get sad from time to time our of the blue, it soon passes so good riddance to him.

Great information, calmly presented. Thanks much. Very important information about are you really better off without the ex? I dismissed this initially.

This is deeply detailed and covers a lot of important situations. It's a lot in one video. Alexis, you must have been up all night. Much appreciated. I relate to many points you made and feel you have reached out to some deeper and silent questions.

Is this also valid for a dismissive avoidant?

Can you do a video on what to much damage post break up might mean? Things ended pretty badly with my ex, we had a deep bond that i never felt before but because neither one of communicated our needs and things sort of exploded because of a situation when her manipulative x partner pushed my buttons causing me put pressure on jer to define things. We both said things in anger we didnt mean but shes ghosted me and i dont know where we stand anymore. It would be great to know if too much damage was done so i dont fool myself

Great content. Learning a lot and using it to live stronger.

No contact after no contact and after no contact of the no contact

i believe my ex is avoidant , but i got introduced to her familly , she was learning french to come meet my familly over canada , she also wanted a baby from me and was speaking to move in together at some point . it pretty contradictory of the standard D/A isnt it ?

My ex initiated all the strong feelings, plans for the future, getting into a relationship. She love bombed me from the start then pulled the rug. It wans't me overwhelming. I reciprocated because I fell for her, but she overwhelmed herself if anything. I always tried to respect her boundaries and checked in with her a few times about when she wanted me to leave when I was visiting and her answer was always "I never want you to leave", and everything was great so I had no reason to suspect there was anything wrong. If she was having issues I'm not sure why she wouldn't talk to me about it. She didn't even try to talk to me about anything and broke up with me by text the next day when I got home. which I accepted. Feels really awful to be in this spot.

When my avoidant wife who also broke up with me is asking me for a service I feel triggered! This is because the total lack of reciprocity. In other words, she doesn’t do anything for me and is not even interested in my existence. Yet we are doomed to stay in the same house with our three children. What is the best way to respond? Anyone pls…

We stay in touch because involuntary we live in the same house with our 3 kids. Do you have any video for that situation?

I think I am avoidant...you are Canadian or French?I hear the accent :P. Though it's just from the place of being language freak ( anyway French is on very low level)

I wasnt disrespectful but i did say some mean things in anger. she hurt me pretty bad and it hink she knows that so ...i think it'll happen.

Very honest❤ Thank you!!

@Alexis When they are nice, dont be fooled. You are not getting anywhere. Can you describe this more? I might be in this situation, but how can I tell?

My ex blocked me 10 months ago, I every place imaginable, I am no contact will all his friends.

you have to ask yourself, do i want to hide my feelings from someone who hurt me? do I want to act happy to MAYBE get someone back that had no problem ripping your heart out and stomping on it before walking away? no.

Hi Alexis, over the last months I've been studying a lot of information about autism (asperger), attachment theory (avoidant) and immaturity. It seems there's a lot of overlap on the subjects and I am reaching a point of saturation, especially because I am the only one gathering all this information and am not able to share it with my partner who most likely doesn't poses the intellectual capacity and for sure not the will. Is it possible to have all this in one person? And how would she get awareness if I am not supposed to be the one showing this information? The stakes are high, our whole family is in serious danger but that doesn't seem to bother her. I am in a form of strategic no contact i.e. I do not initiate contact unless asked and then respond brief but gently. For the sake of the children I still give her services such as cooking a meal. Again with the children in mind. Thank you.

We still live in the same house and I still cook for all of us. Towards her (dismissive avoidant) I’ve become stoic but gentle. We will see where it goes. Nice channel, have subscribed.

In reality they are dating that guy because they cannot live on their own simple

I’m not at all convinced about the paradigms but I think AF provides good content on inter and intra personal dynamics about relationships but also especially about severing from a therapeutic perspective