I didn't know I was over sharing... I thought I was having a heart to heart, being vulnerable and creating intimacy! Silly me.

Thanks from me in Tasmania Australia

Madam all you create awareness of light weight heart people , it’s your video is giving self protection And make us safe in human relationship

Thanks, very informative.

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Perfect 😏

Thank you Doctor for this very helpful video!

Lol so me getting into healthy God-centered relationship, sometimes that feels like I'm a perfectionist over it.... she called me out about the spell check hahaha.

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Thank you so much for the video❤ Your videos and articles, especially about enmeshed families, helped me a lot to make first steps in establishing boundaries🙏

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Thank you Dr Sharon - I really really needed to hear that today - that there are always options even if none are perfect and would just make life more bearable if we are brave enough to take them - thank you

I love ❤you Lady. You are a blessed 😇

Thank you. Obligations and love have held me in bondage for many years. Recognizing and accepting that that a less then perfect choice is still the right choice is the better choice.

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This is BS advice. talk to the person who talks too much about how they talk to much and ask them to not talk so damn much because EVERYONE has this issue with them but dont say anything.

Thank you. So good to hear a ballanced, non judgemental approach😊❤. Do you have a video on how to get out of situations when others do this to me?

Yes

Thank you for these words. I am finally looking into working on my perfectionism, I am so tired of it hurting me.

I always get insulted when I set a boundary, its never about the tone, oftentimes it´s just over whatsapp and formal way. They call me selfish, weird and stupid. I needed 10 years hard CODA self-work to set boundaries and since some years I see only narcisstic reactions to my boundaries. What I learn now, is just to stop engaging in talks, I mean whatever I have to say and what I feel can it really keep a customer away fro quitting after I had helped him so much? No. The best I have ever experienced was the feeling of 1000 per cent of powerlessness, no matter what you do, say you can´t prevent others from reacting immaturely, punishing you by quitting jobs unfairly etc etc. Then you don´t react anymore if they don´t take the No. You just walk away if they don´t accept the boundary. Reacting after setting a boundary is like warmed-up coffee from yesterday, the spiral goes on. It´s their problem to feel attacked by you taking your human right to say no. I´m not God neither therapist to teach them how to deal with their repressed anger which unloads way too harsh and unresonably. Other ppl get angry too and don´t punish, quit jobs insult you. So why should those be unable to do the same. right their problem, don´t make it to yours.

My overly talkative friend would ask where I’m going, what I’m doing. Would won’t details.

Thank you, Doctor!

Great video - really helpful, many thanks

Stupendously articulated. Thanks for sharing your invaluable insight. : )

So good Sharon! For me a residue from childhood conditioning. The message was always "don't upset your mother". In essence us kids were responsible for our mother's feelings. As an adult I was drawn to these types of people. Detachment was a life saver. 😊

Sharon, you've been a great support to me over the years through your emails and videos. The content is invaluable. Thank you so much! 🙏❤

This was so helpful and calming for me

I love your emails !!!!

I’m in a relationship, my boyfriend have been together for 3 years. I believe he grew up in this kind of dynamic. My boyfriend has been the most successful in the family. So he and his mom were very close before her passing a year into our relationship. He also takes care of his younger sister who is 30 with a 10 year old. He has been talking care of her since day one along with his mother before her passing. Now I’m trying to move our relationship forward and his sister is so codependent on him financially and emotionally I can’t play my role as his wife because he feel responsible for her. This women in the 3 years I’ve know her has had 5 jobs and I’ve never seen her keep a job longer then a few months. She has even gone as far as making a comment about the fact she don’t need to work because of my boyfriend.. but was a little more subtle about it but I took it as bragging. Me and my boyfriend have talked about having kids. She said you don’t need kids you can have mine.. this women if I fight with my boyfriend she will cook for him clean for him, on his days off if I’m not around she will be on him where ever he goes along with her child. I also sometimes have to deal with situations where he has made plans for dinner with her and not discuss it with me even though I just bought a bunch of groceries to make dinner for that evening, but that gets canceled because they had their own thing going on she’s sleeps till 1 or 2 pm everyday gets up cleans the living room and the kitchen, with bare minimum effort. Then waits for my boyfriend to come home then later in the evening if I’m around him. She will go out and hang out with her friend and drink, staying out late and leave her kid home with us so naturally, he’s up my boyfriends but well, I’m trying to spend quality time. It has driven the biggest wedge in our relationship. It has now trickle down to things where he has made comments that we can move out into an apartment and leave the house to her, even though she can’t even hold a job and it’s like why are we gonna be in a relationship and talk about having kids , but then the house that you already own you want to give to your sister. I’m so uncomfortable with their relationship it feels like she is the other women and if we fight and we do a lot he runs to her. All the other siblings have their own lives and live on their own with their own significant others. But she seems to have no interest in dating or being with anybody or even taking responsibility for her life.. I can’t live under the same roof as this women the rest of my life. I will pay to have her move out. Please help guide me as to what I can do to fix this because they see no problem here 😢

Women are expected to be accommodating.

For example, you are in an ecstatic dance party where discussion of politics--technically "any political energy" is strictly prohibited. The prohibition is there to prevent the threat of damage by oversharing because this oversharing can cause guests to take sides, argue, or even worse--escalate into physical fights. That means that boundary - no political energy - has to be respected at that party. Suppose you are in that dance party, and then, you mention to a new dance partner something like "Donald Trump should never be the president of the United States in 2025." What are the consequences of violating that boundary? Several... 1. The dance partner then bolts away. Then as you try to grab her she says "I don't want any of your discussion anymore!" Then you have to let her go. 2. Then as you try to dance away with other partners, you do not know that that woman that rejected you tells the curator of the dance party that you were discussing stuff related to political energy, even if the other guests did not hear the political energy within earshot. 3. Then, a security guard comes in and says "You have to go. We do not allow any political energy discussion here." You say back "You aren't even giving me a warning?" The guard says "Get out. We don't want you here." 4. As you leave, the guard tells you, "Don't come back to this party. If you come back - you will be arrested!" Yep. Boundaries need to be respected. If you disrespect boundaries, you are in big trouble.

It's down to sensitivity towards other people. Some people who overshare simply have no sensitivity towards the other person and they see the other person merely as a convenient dumping ground for self-indulgent talk.

It is important to note that in many cultures enmeshed families are the norm.

OMG I know someone like this . . . talks on and on and on and on . . . and so negative! I don't care to hear that nonsense.

Thank you, Sharon. This information is very helpful in my recovery as an adult child of an alcoholic. Very relevant.

What I learned from this is that for some people, talking is seen as giving and for some people talking is seen as taking.

Thanks for this video. I was looking for a video that talks about people who send 8 and 10 Instagram reels or videos to someone's phone almost everyday. I have a "friend" doing this to me and when I asked her very nicely to please hold of on sending all those videos she became offended. She is highly educated about a lot of things and feels the need to want to fix everything and everyone and she doesn't ask permission in some cases or she doesn't allow a person to opportunity to ask advice, she's very pushy. If she gets offended cuz someone rejects her opinion or help, she puts them on time out. I'm getting rid of this friendship but someone needs to let people know that sending plenty videos and reels to a person's phone whole day everyday is toxic. She even ask questions surrounding the videos....like wth I am very busy I don't have the time to watch videos on ideas of how I should raise my children, cook food or live my life in general. The crazy part is she studied psychology and counsels poeple Ikr.

I overshare(share everything in detail - what I ate, what I did etc) but I didn't know that's a boundary violation.....

Very helpful. I often people please and call over talkers back when I think I don't have anything going on, but I am dealing with a lot managing a few chronic illnesses, work, an elderly mother, and pets. I'm really burned out and depressed and to listen to a few of my friends over talk without any self-awareness (one of them interrupts) just drains me more than ever lately. Thank you for sharing this.

The research is clear, self compassion leads to more motivation, better focus, more productivity and better outcomes than "cracking the whip" and being self critical … well, that's all I needed to hear

Very helpful video!