My parents and a really bad ex of mine whom I’m still having trouble getting over

Also, you can’t reason with them. They can tell you you need to change, but one thing you tell THEM to change, they turn around and tell you that you need to accept the way they are or you’re a horrible person or “misunderstanding” them.

"Oh we wanted you to be independent, so we didn't interfere with your life." Uh I was a CHILD, and people were bullying me everyday. But you didn't bother to find out why I'm mad, just blamed me for being mad.

Its really like an "I hate you, but if you leave me I'll destroy you" your example is more of a BPD thought pattern. Dealing with a BPD partner would actually be slightly more preferred in a relationship. At least they'll express they care about you. Ya know, in their own crazy way.

That is so true...well put

Yes and cheating too

AMEN!!!

Oh yes! About every which suits them! Yet want to know everything from you to fight it against you! I became silent i didn't told any of my thoughts deeply to such ever again! Took me years, ex hub

Yep 👍

@@LAHEX-yt6ux ahh yes. On the phone with my mom, “alright mom I got to go” because my husband is calling. She can’t stand that.. and will continue to talk for 10 more minutes. She says when the call is done...

Thank God you got out , find someone who loves you the way you are.

@@miagunner803 He would have definitely turned violent. He used to say it was absolutely fine to punch your partner if she was in your face. I'm shocked that I got involved with him, I always used to think you couldn't get involved with an abuser if you weren't somehow broken yourself. I was very wrong.

We

Sounds familiar

What's his IG, I promise I won't expose you. I find these people fascinating. I've been studying narcissism and personality disorders for 3 years now. Hit me up on IG @Danielfromconnecticut

LMFAO WHAT???? BEER BELLY SIXPACK

I'd walk away from a person in an instant if they gave me a list of rules to follow

Plot twist : delusion guy is Law of attraction manifestation expert level😁

@@donguy8413 the only thing he manifested was my disappearance 😂

@@haldenkepple4242 depends on the rules if its like dont cheat im down but somehow i doubt that was all that was in there

Exactly

Congratulations on escaping such a toxic, soul destroying individual. I know it's not an easy thing to do. Especially when you've been beaten down in every way and can't understand why or even how a person could be so cruel. We lose so much of ourselves in these abusive and manipulative relationships. To even have the strength to recognize and accept what's happened to us, is an accomplishment. To escape and live to tell about it, that's heroic. Welcome to the rest of your life. May it be beautiful in every way.

Congratz there is truly another way.

I just found out that my business partner is schizophrenic and I believe a grandiose narcassist. He supposedly is ok at home but when he gets to work he is a different person. " I am the boss, how dare these employees do this etc." bark bark bark. He cant work with 75% of the employees. And these employees are good employees that have done nothing wrong. Its devastating to try to run a business when the other partner is a loose cannon. I have no idea at what point he is going to go into full blown hallucinations.

foxspirit38 I was married to a narcissist who was SO aggressive. He would verbally attack me seemingly out of nowhere. One example - early in the marriage we were standing in line to see a movie. All the other couples seemed to be having so much fun together. I think he noticed the same thing, and began to whisper hateful, insulting things to me. That day stands out in my memory because I could feel so much pain around my heart. I remember thinking that when I died and they opened me up, they would see only deep scars when they examined my heart and wonder how those scars came to be. Obviously, I wish now that I had had the common sense to turn around and walk home, pack my things and go back home. If I was still with him today, well, hindsight really is 2020. It sounds unbelievable now, but I stayed around for sixteen more years of ever-increasing emotional and verbal abuse, which just got worse and worse until finally it did become physical. Through a priest at my church, we were introduced to a retired psychiatrist who only saw clients through referral. With his help, I was able to finally leave this horrible narcissist and build a new life. Many years have gone by. I still see my ex maybe a couple of times a year on major holidays (we had children.) He is a shell. There's nothing really there, and I look at him with disbelief that I could have ever wanted to spend more than five minutes in his company. At least he did the female sex a favor and never remarried! We met at college and he had a lot going for him at that time. He SEEMED normal. He made top grades, earned a master's degree and was fairly successful for a few years in the business world. But he very gradually just got tired of making an effort, and finally attempted to defraud his company, was found out, and fired. Then lost me and lost the kids too. All the early ambition and success fizzled completely out. I don't believe it was me. He would have ended up with nothing and no one no matter who he had married! So he has ended up sad, burned out, and alone. I hope lots and lots of narcissists read this and heed my words. They could learn something. But they won't because, after all, THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THEM, it's the other guy's fault! Well, just keep on. You'll get it eventually one way or another. One way ... or another ...

@@nancyayers6355 I'm so very glad you got yourself and your kids out of there. I can't imagine the horror of being stuck in there for so long. Thank God and all things holy that my ex and I never had kids together. I do have a son, from my marriage in my early twenties (he was a neglector rather than abusive, but that's another story. I had issues in picking partners until my current one. I finally got it right. Or rather, I got lucky. I went into a spiral of bad choices and loser bf's (of which the narcissist was one) until I took a HUGE step back and decided to stop. For two years I lived for me. No relationships, no trying, just me. Then I met my one. About five and a half years ago). Anyway, the narcissistic ex...I don't know why I decided that walking on eggshells and crying every single day over stupid things was OK. I don't know how you bore yours for so long. I know we turn it into normality in our heads, but your strength to pull away after so long amazes me. It took everything I had and a complete change of me just to get away after only 3½ years. You are amazing. Sending you the world's biggest hugs.

@UCOFHx-TQXpbxxp-nA5cVnqQ Interesting "modification" to Mary L. Some with NPD don't seem to forgive and forget. And some victims are so tormented, they may attempt to warn others from a distance, but the objective is to get out. This can occur in a long-term relationship. Picture the NPD who targets someone with ASD who is extremely High-functioning, but still has this naivete, honesty, loyalty that's central to their personality. They may love the NPD, despite everything. Then the brutality begins. The verbal cruelty. It escalates. The person with ASD may not perceive a "mask slipping". They're simply demolished: "This person obviously does not love me." So they gather what strength they can, pack what they're able and leave. But the NPD wasn't done with them. Even when the NPD finds a new supply, the ASD was SPECIAL. Even when the NPD is unaware of what made that person special. They can't replace what they had, so they keep seeking this person out, if only to find their phone #, call periodically, hear the person say "Hello", and hang up on them. They'll even pay or coerce their new supply to check out the person with ASD, interact in some way or just unnerve them by parking outside of their new home repeatedly. Or they'll track them online for years and behave like trolls, humiliating them in Social Media. True story. All of it. And people with PTSD typically do not hang around to seek revenge. THAT doesn't make sense. 🐯

@@ML-qs3tf Ah, but they did. And the ASD survived. Don't know about the NPD. 🐯

@@ML-qs3tf Odd. I have met people on the spectrum who've been taught to be dishonest by a parent to whom they were strongly bonded. I'm sure the same could be done with other inherent traits. There are people with ASD and NPD. They're sometimes misdiagnosed (one mistaken for the other). This particular person was quite vulnerable when the NPD "arrived". Has quite high empathy, which the NPD exploited. Highly intelligent but strangely innocent. Not deceptive. Genuinely loyal, despite NPD's "affairs". A loner by nature. Confounded by the coldness, chaos, blaming, anger. Truly torn apart and yes, traumatized. But never seeking revenge. The old saying "You've met one person with Aspergers, you've met one person with Aspergers" really is true. Haven't encountered one quite like you've described. 🐯

@UCOFHx-TQXpbxxp-nA5cVnqQ Perfectly alright. Thank you for the explanation! ☺🌹🐯

My family and I are on the autistic spectrum and we have a child in a wheelchair with severe disabilities and this has been our exact experience with my mother who is the narcissist and who is very cruel, cold, hard and mean. I'm nearly 50 now and the things she has done has shocked and upset me so many times. I'm done I'm not talking to her ever again and that includes my children too.

That’s anti social behavior

"My husband"

It doesn't matter whether he's a narcissist, get the hell away from him before it's too late

Congratulations! I hope that you are healing well from the experience.

💙Free at last, free at last, free at last!!! Congratulations! 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏

40 years!??

May I ask you what kept you so long in the marriage? Did you kind of felt needed. I came across some (older) couples where one part was strongly narc and those couples seemed strangely inseparable, like fused together.

@@juliuscee4633 I was the target of a predator. I was a 17 y.o immigrant of color. He was a 23 y.o white male. He played the hero protector very, very well. He also introduced me to the Christian religion and used it to claim his place as head of the family. His colors took many years to show. His ugliness revealed layer by layer. An abuser does not abuse 24/7. There were times of kindness, too. But they were less and less frequent to the point of non-existent in the later years. I decided to leave him at least ten years before I took action. I was biding my time waiting for our youngest child to be old enough such that the court would listen to her. I have the love and support of all four of our children now. They have written him out of their lives. Karma is real.

I second that.... and pls include covert narc fathers and scapegoat/golden child dynamic

Me too!!

Excellent question. I also like the idea of doing a video about this topic!

Covert narcissism is another label for vulnerable narcissism. kzfaq.info/get/bejne/e5aVaM58yb7QYWQ.html

I will put it on the production list - Happy Easter!

Yes please! Covert would be great!

Yes! Great topic. It can be so undetectable and insidious. I think people need to know what this is and what the signs are.

Wow interesting but sad for a child so young. My sister snd I were victims of a narcissist step parent as teens/young adults (in my opinion). Our father has essentially cut us out for her. I guess we are better off to not be surrounded by that on a daily basis but is unfortunate to lose our family. Maybe it’s not fair for me to ‘diagnose’ someone but sounds awfully familiar.....:(

They don't feel fear like empaths do. It's that simple.

You're welcome :)

Girl, same! I play it out over and over in my head thinking what I could’ve done differently, but find myself (in the end) blaming myself for thinking anything remotely “bad” about him and begin to believe I’m the bad person in some way...meanwhile, he’s calm, cool, collected, loving himself...it’s HARD 💯

@@monicagoldsborough1077 just think of your relationship from an out-er pov, he has no right to be rude and gaslighting me for no reason, I caused nothing for this, nor am i responsible for this 23 year old mans behavior, he’s been through live, he should’ve known how to not be a jerk. You can’t change those kind of people, I know it’s impossible to stop thinking about your past mistakes, like “what if this one memory I had of a decision that probably was the reason he was so mean, I’m the cause..” you’re not. If you’re the one in the relationship that is questioning whether or not you’re the problem, you’re not. Because you can comprehend being truthful to yourself about past scenarios, remembering every word they said in that moment. Fighting with yourself every night. very good people tend to become lost of themselves because of trauma like this. But you have to realize that you’re right

@@monicagoldsborough1077 I know this is hard and am sorry that you went through this . I think I can give you a word or two which worked for me you can try also if you want It wasn’t your fault it was his fault, there is nothing you could have done differently, you gave it your best, some narcissistic are calm and collected so don’t personalize it. Remember they use people for their own benefits, they see people as objects to give them more supply and it’s never enough for them so don’t blame yourself. Build other relationships with friends and family Do things you love that they always criticized you about Find a hobby and give it your best Meditation Practice mindfulness Make a list of all those hurtful things they did to you, every time you have thought of the good few things they did, your can write the list slowly by slowly. Therapy if you can with a therapist who understands narcissism Change of sight if you can, it can be as little as moving to another bedroom Hope you get better, it’s gradual one day at a time Good luck

I believe I have PTSD as a result of my 15 years of narcissistic abuse. I’ve been free for 7 years but I still have nightmares about him several times a week and I still strictly avoid anything having to do with him.

Check out Dr Ramani's channel, she has a healing program. You will love it, I promise. 💜

ikr!!

You are most welcome :)

I’ve noticed that too, was looking if anyone else commented on that!

This is very similar to what I went through with my ex (except I felt more despair than anger bc of deaththreats and constant anger from my ex . He didn't stop until he was convicted twice and got a restrainingorder. I felt sorry for him bc he just couldn't stop his own behaviour when he was drinking ..and I thought I could "save" him ) . I am not the only one who been through this and one can only hope to get good counseling but it seems hard to find but narcissistic abuse is not an accepted official diagnosis to my knowledge .

Lene 739 In my non-professional opinion, it’s because “narcissistic abuse” is one sided and implies that the therapist had opportunity to directly communicate and observe both sides (excuse my bad English) - which is rarely true and/or that therapist is inclined to give a verdict on the case - which is not their job. In romantic relationships acknowledging destructive narcissistic dynamics can definitely shed light on the issues of the person who is in therapy and feels as/is a target of an abuse, but one has to dig deeper to understand their own issues e.g. why did we try so hard etc? IMO this means that a person can be diagnosed with PTSD as a result of a prolonged abuse, however being a victim is not diagnosis. Anyway a good therapist should be able to listen and to validate such experience. I wish you all the best on your way to recovery!

@@phoenix. I agree . Thank you .🌻

You're most likely remembering this video: kzfaq.info/get/bejne/pNuhoJeX0rvZlaM.html Today he is discussing the literal meaning, i.e. "abuse inflicted by a narcissist". What he was addressing in the linked video is Narcissistic Abuse _Syndrome_ as a distinct diagnosis for the effects on the abused party. Specifically he was calling out the practice of online life coaches earning our business because we might not trust a licensed mental health professional who isn't aware of this diagnosis, and we return to the online help instead. Does that clarify the difference? It's certainly a bit confusing! 🐾 _Visit @go.team.prince on Instagram and share on social media to help spread the story of how my ex got back at me for abruptly going no-contact. A sad example of the narcissist's charming facade at work....._ 🐕

as in every relationship

Happy Easter!

I agree.

I believe that topic is on my production list - immaturity isn't studied often, but I will do my best to record a video on it.

@@DrGrande Thank you Dr. Grande, that would be great if you succeed in doing a video about immaturity and PD's.

@@RN-gx7wt I know, but I think maturity is more than 'only responsibility' and I'm wondering if AvPD has actually anything to do with being immature?

@@RN-gx7wt Good points! Well let's see what Dr. Grande has to say about it when he's doing a video.