This is so similar to my first marriage that was a 9 year relationship. The things that kept me in as long as it did was the fear of financial insecurity, the guilt of leaving something I had put a lot of time in, and what I now know was him gaslighting ("Why are you always unhappy with me? I'm happy with you? Your'e just crazy.") When I finally left, some aspects were very hard. My parents pitied my ex and sided with him, and never once asked me if I was okay, or wanted to hear my side of the story. But after feeling restrained in that relationship for years, finally feeling freedom and like I was limitless was so healing. All those years I thought "this isn't what love should feel like," and I was right, even though my normal state then was to doubt everything that felt like advocating for my right to be happy. I learned: Emotional/mental abuse can be unintentional, but that doesn't negate what it is. No one needs permission from someone else to be who they are, or to apologize for it. I didn't know for years what gaslighting was, but I know now that gentle hearts are particularly susceptible to its harm, and to be vigilant moving forward. A form of self care is resisting the urge to overly-apologize or explain yourself to people who already have opinions of how they think you should be, but don't want to be proven wrong/won't listen anyway. And that real love is healing and given freely; if that's not how it feels, it isn't love.

“I know it’s going to work out….I know it’s going to be ok.” You said it right. Just keep going and it will all make sense.

Hi Fran - thank you for sharing your journey - I origianlly found you on the Kibbe tip but also when you shared your upbringing in a Christian household. Today is my first time back to your channel in over a year and wow Ive missed a lot. I feel like our story has quite a few similarities - I left my husband last year (not so great treatment) and then since have accepted a change in my sexual identity (havent worked out all the deets here). I am a romantic Kibbe type and love much to dress to this - but what is jarring is my essence (more masculine energy leaning) - Its kind of fun at times to see peoples reactions to the "softness" of my physical appearance and then upper cut with my assertive communcation style. Thanks again for sharing such sacred places of your being.

this was a beautiful vlog ! love the baby 😍 so cute oh my gosh I think you're a strong person for everything that you did and are doing currently, and I wish you the best ❤ Props for driving such a long distance and by yourself :) You remind me so much of the saying "speak softly and carry a big stick, you will go far" Can't wait to see you out of this transitioning phase and into a new and exciting phase 🙌

What a beautiful video!! A lot of what you said resonates with me. But it took me a lot longer than it has you to have the wisdom you shared in this video. I'm wishing for what's next for you to go as smoothly as possible, and I'm so glad you have support. I love the moon, too, btw.

I love the way you express yourself and be your authentic self. Beautiful vlog and thank you for sharing your life with us.

Such a nice family... I hope everything is easier now for you

im so proud of you

So glad you happy just be yourself ❤xx

hii fran, i initially followed you years ago for style/kibbe content but i relate to you sm in other aspects. i ended my long term relationship a while ago bc i realized i’m a lesbian. since then i also recently moved out and am financially independent now 😳 there’s an adjustment period w it all but i know we’ll both be in a happier, more fulfilling lifestyle 🫶🏻

Talk to us ( me) more about being queer! I loveed how happy you looked when sharing about it! ❤❤❤❤😊😊😊😊😊

You are learning who you are, don’t need to jump to conclusions, just observe and be. Do enough to get what you need and want and let everything else go. Too bad you can’t do that and keep your family though, because people living with us and challenging us helps to expose who we are more quickly, though it’s usually painful and unpleasant, it’s by fire.

IS THIS AN OLD VIDEO, I SAW YOU DRIVING TO NEW LOCATION