Me too, I'm a lioness and I love it❤

@@TB-oh8zl As you should 🩷

Yasssssss love this comment ❤❤❤ same sis

Well said, your ancestors 🦧🐑🐵🐒🦍😅🤣😂👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

@@denyshadials5702 It sounds like the Mufusa reference refers to a buzz cut. Is my assumption wrong?

This is so perfectly worded yes. I have been explaining this to my mom who was raised by my grandmother who despises natural hair. I explained how it doesn’t make sense to compare hair that hasn’t been watered or nurtured to other women who have valued and cared for their hair for decades.

My moms hair texture doesn’t even match mine, at 28 I still have to remind her that my “done” doesn’t resemble hers.

I love that you broke this down. What I am hearing you say is attitude. The attitude surrounding natural hair for a lot of black women is a very negative one. My mother would sit down at least 2x a week and do my hair and probably washed it every other weekend. We would sit, eat snacks, laugh, she would quiz me on a few things, or we would just talk. It was a great way to bond and during this time she would often reiterate to me I was beautiful just as I was. The positive reinforcement and the bonding made doing/caring for my hair hair a great experience. So, s I grew older I didn't find my hair to be a burden and learned to appreciate it. Also what you said about other women and their hair is true. Women other races have their own sets of issues and concerns, doesn't make them any less or better it just means we are different.

Perfectly said. I am planning to make a hair journey video for my ten years natural and I was going to have a section that basically said this. We think our hair is difficult because we didn’t grow up with it. If you had grown up doing it day in and day out, it wouldn’t be difficult, it would be just another Sunday. Just another part of our grooming routine. Also, a lot of us still compare ourselves to White people in very unhealthy ways.

perfect

Say it it louder please ma'am!

Exactly! I can picture her with natural hair instead and it would elevate her look so much.

Exactly. Just like it did for Voila Davis. She looked 20xs better with her natural hair, regal and confident.

You’re sort of doing what she said in the video (taunting)

@@Beemmeupz The sad thing is, some people hate real hair and some hate wigs. WE need help. I don’t love wigs, but her wig did not look “horrendous”.

I agree, I think natural hair would look better on her. She jist needs to find styles that suit her.

It's what they believed based on their experience. It's not self hate.

It can be both.

Fathers too.

Doesn’t necessarily mean its self hate !

It's easy to talk about a dark skinned 4c women when you haven't walked a mile in her shoes. You never experienced the taunts, teasing, rejection, and put down because of her hair and skin color. I am sure NO ONE in her black household or community lifted her up.

Exactly, what I was thinking.

kzfaq.info6-mSJ372XT0?si=F31HrXwVtKuaZ4RQ

I just saw a video the other day of a young girl (14-16) getting some sort of quick weave and was HORRIFIED at what was most likely traction alopecia. There were large gaps between the parts and what little hair was left was tightly braided down and covered in paper wraps and a cap. Despite the stylist insisting that her precautions prevented it, her hair was literally soaked in glue for the style. So young and being set up for a life where these braids, weaves and alike damage the follicle to the point where no hair grows back, thus the cycle of being embarrassed and needing these styles to cover up the bald patches becomes permanent. It starts young. Some of my earliest memories involved sitting in a chair and having to listen to stylist make VILE remarks about blk hair. Still burns me up to this day 😤

Everything you said in your comment is true. Lack of knowledge and care brings frustration which will lead to more convenient measures and some times damage. And then someone will never know how to care for their hair

@@LKinner450 ​Add all the psychological affects and there you have it: more self sabotage, unhealthy self image, unhealthy risks ect.. This links to a persons entire VALUE system in life.

This has to be one of the best comments I have ever seen on this topic. I was deeply disturbed by this woman’s comments. I hate the fact she went viral for this nonsense! She doesn’t know how to take care of her hair and it is wrong to put out such negativity. It must stop! There are so many options and haircare businesses that cater to natural curly hair. What does other races have to do with this?

She is really beautiful and she doesn’t even know it. That’s really sad. I wish I could tell her that she is beautiful and make her believe it.

She knows if she looks good wearing certain hair styles, like she said, her eyes are not fooling her, the way she sees herself doesn't mean someone from her past put it in her head, she knows for herself what fits her and what doesn't.

She also said that most bw don’t look good. I hate when insecure bw spew their self hatred to all of us it’s infuriating to me

@@user-tj4ks3uh6f that wig doesn’t fit her at all

@@KNt820 of course you’re gonna say that, but that’s your opinion if that’s even your true opinion, you only said that because she said she looks good with straight hair, that’s the only reason, otherwise if she would have said something that you wanted to hear, you wouldn’t have said that.

This is so very true. When I started my natural hair journey there was a learning curve but once I got the hang of it my hair flourished and I have not looked back since.

Nah, it takes long. But I don't mind because I love my hair. I like experimenting with it and having fun with my hair.

Hello. You make very good points. I think for a lot of women like you have stated simply do not know how to care for their natural hair and it frustrates them and then they opt for easier solutions. Being natural is a journey and it does take some time to learn your hair and understand what it likes and does not.

@@KlassicallyKept Exactly!

I agree. She thinks the wig is giving. But I think she would look really pretty with natural hair

​​@@forthb44she favors Viola Davis and Viola is gorgeous with her natural hair. I don't see how she could possibly looks bad with it.

Hello. Thank you for this. You are correct long hair does not equate to femininity. Wow you have had clients with this mindset? I know you cannot discuss specific patients stories/experiences but would you be open to discussing certain patterns and behaviors you see with these clients ? If so, please reach out to me kk@klassicallykept.com

@@KlassicallyKept yes, I’ve worked with several women over the years ( retired master cosmetologist ) who simply didn’t like their hair some admitted it & some you had to listen to how they describe themselves and experiences growing up to get to why they were chronically dissatisfied 😉 I’d love to chat more about this and other hair things as I love this chebe journey you’re on. I’ll reach out via email soon. Blessings

Hello. You make some very good points. I love that in your area young women are embracing their natural hair. I also think your point about going natural is a trend for some is true. We saw a lot of this during Covid when we were shut in.

@@KlassicallyKept Thanks. I think black women are taking going natural lightly, but it is actually a part of reclaiming our identity and our authenticity as a race and a people. Until we realize that, as the bible says, we will remain a scattered people bound to be taken advantage of and food for the breast in the field.

If you are still using that as an excuse in 2024 then it’s a you problem go work on yourself and that inner hate.

You make a great point about the therapist, should she see one. Their thoughts could not be warped like hers.

kzfaq.info6-mSJ372XT0?si=F31HrXwVtKuaZ4RQ

I really really enjoyed what you wrote. Thanks for saying that❤❤❤

Thank you and very well said.

Exactly ! And thank you !

I wonder if her video was a cry for help in some regard…🤷🏿‍♀️

@@lesliehill7678to tell the truth most blk women give up once we are told we are not pretty I did for awhile it took me a long long time to love myself & start wearing my natural hair regardless of what others think or say unfortunately the blk community had & still has some people who think dark skin women aren’t pretty which is sad I see it now in who most blk men date or marry she has to be light skin with long hair or she has to be another race period

Hello Dominique! Wonderful you are gong to try the Chebe, I am hoping the best for you! Unfortunately for a lot of black women the ridicule comes from family and sometimes it starts at home and can leave a lasting effect on that child. Fortunately for me as I said in the video I was raised with love and self acceptance, but I know many women who were not. Some have chosen to work on themselves and distance themselves from those family members and some choose to mask and continue on. I think for everyone their journey to self acceptance and love is different but that can only begin once the person acknowledges the issue is there.

My family made fun of mine to when I did the big chop. Now more than 10 years later they love it. And ironically, none of them had long healthy hair back then and don't have it now, but felt comfortable making fun of mine.

I would like to state I've always loved my hair. I never wore fake hair & my 3 Daughters never saw me with fake hair. Even when I relaxed, it was my hair. When I went Natural, I cut my hair 👇🏿 to about an inch & from day one I embraced my 4C Tresses. I'm grateful to be one of the few Real Melanated women who love us & I passed that on to my 3 Daughter's 😉 & now my 2 GrandDaughters = their hair is mid back at age 6 -7 = Natural. 💃🏿 Ain't no we in this self h8. 💯

I think for a lot of people they were somewhat okay with what she was saying until she brought in other women of color, we are often looked at as a monolith. Feel how you feel ma'am but your sentiments do not resonate with all.

@@KlassicallyKept I know that one size does not fit all.

That alone affects her looks negatively.

Girl yes, that bang was giving her the business 😂😂😂

😂Like she swatting away flies from her face.

Hello Nina. Unfortunately when it comes to certain groups they are considered a monolith and placed in certain boxes with certain ways and behaviors. As yall know I love my hair and I love big hair!

It is true that bw hate their hair. (Not all)

She is !

All I can say is that you were blessed. You hit on the issue. What is the standard? Whatever you believe, have been taught to believe, have then internalized as truth is your standard. Now you will judge in relation to that standard. It will take deep re-wiring to change that. To not teach that to others.

I have 3c with some 4a mostly in the front and I wear silk presses and blow out styles. I apply heat once a month simply because I like it and it’s more manageable. and less breaking from detangling. I may try some wash and gos this summer because I love my curls too. My hair grows like weeds when it’s straightened and it’s bra strap length from cutting it in a bob less than 2 years ago. We can definitely grow long natural healthy hair this woman just needs to learn her hair and learn some self love

You make a great point about standards. This woman is beautiful. During Covid my family and I would have chit chats on Zoom and I brought up this subject. There was a young man who was suspended from school because it was reported that his hair was unruly ( he had dreads). I asked the questions by whose standards was the student's hair unruly ? The teacher and or administrator who reported him may not be familiar with his hair type or may abide by a different standard when it comes to hair.

Hi sista - u may want to switch from w&g to perm rod or roller set. Hair weather is caused by wash and goes - which results in hair lost that may take up to 25 yrs to fully show up. May I introduce u to Cyndoll? Licensed cosomotologist, herbalist here on KZfaq. 🥰🥰

@@kdfree9810 thanks but what I do to my hair worked for me for 48 years!

Thank you! I am glad that my approach went over well.

Hello and thank you. I am glad my approach was received well.

Hello, you are correct, there is a misconception that long hair equates healthy hair, I use to be that girl and I have stated this in my videos as well. I use to be that girl who would hold onto her terrible ends for length lol. But now if the hair is unhealthy then it has to go. For me long hair is a goal but so is healthy hair. I have always promoted healthy hair, however; because I have grown my hair people are curious. The point of this video was to address everything that she said. In her video she stated that "black women cannot grow long hair." In the video I said this myth has already been debunked and I did not want to spend a lot of time on it for that reason. I wanted to focus on the other things she said as they were more of a concern. Me listing 5 or 6 black women who have long hair was not anecdotal or glorifying but invalidating her statement. This was not meant to be a trophy but a fact. I specifically did not want to focus on the long hair comment because it is an old and ridiculous lie, which is why I spent so little time addressing it. No where in the video did I say short hair or medium length hair was not beautiful or healthy. There are women who will reach a certain length and then cut their hair because that is their desired length. The women in this video was talking about long hair.

@@KlassicallyKept I absolutely agree and please know my comments are simply my humble thoughts for conversation, not to attack. I appreciate your response and I enjoy your content. I also love your natural hair styles. I know your intentions were and are pure but I feel that “content consumers”, are inundated with similar phrases and examples given by many influencers, not just you, that point to women who have long hair and it gives the feeling like it is a prize to be won. Even in the comments, some people feel the need to qualify their statements by saying “I’ve always had long hair etc..” It has become a subliminal theme. Influencers (again not just you) may not even be aware that they use “beautiful” as a common qualifier when they talk about long hair. Typically this same qualifier is not used when referring to other lengths. Even when looking for how to grow or maintain healthy hair videos, the titles seem to always be “how to grow waist length or tailbone length hair;” the constant stretching the longest strand in the back to show viewers that their hair stretches to the longest length possible..it’s almost odd at times, but I’ve now understood it to be due to the standard of beauty many are upholding. So, it is simply my belief that content consumers internalize these references and translate that to what is considered beautiful. This is similar to seeing certain model sizes on the runway..nobody has to explicitly state that larger sizes are considered less than ideal..they have simply set the standard of beauty by the images they consistently show or body types they consistently showcase and glorify. I think the same thing has happened in the black community when it comes to long hair. It doesn’t need to be said explicitly..it is clear by video titles, and qualifying language used when describing length.

Yes yes and yes!

Good job!🙏🏿❤️

Same, I love 4C hair. I follow many 4C hair KZfaqrs and instagram influencers. I love their hair care practices and I’ve found that it helps me a lot.

My favorite too but unfortunately they don’t have as many subscribers as the looser curl pattern KZfaqrs have

Same ​@cosmicjourney8629

I genuinely feel like the natural hair community on social media may not translate in her (tiktok lady) life. We have to acknowledge that she may not be aware of all the help and resources available to her to appreciate her hair, especially if self-love and acceptance is not the popular video to watch but "make your hair grow like crazy by using...." is. In my opinion, the online black hair community has to take a hard look in the mirror and recognize the messaging it has put out over the years and how it impacts real life. Sadly, nothing that she said shocked me because we live in a world where people laugh at videos of women getting their wigs snatched off their heads, women are called bald-headed as an insult, and people are treated differently in public as a result of their hairstyle. I hope that one day she is able to visit a natural hair salon who can advise her on what to do with her hair and how it can be styled to suit her face and lifestyle.

Probably because instead of just addressing herself as she kinda of started of doing, she basically then says the whole community of melanated women dont like their hair.

Because she's generalizing all black woman

I am not mad at this woman nor did I disregard her feelings. Women who share these thoughts need compassion and understanding, but they also need to be aware that their thoughts are warped, which she is already aware of. It is unfortunate that she feels like this and that the ridicule is coming from her own community which is where most of it comes from.

@@quidagis33 she absolutely is aware of all the resources available because she is a content creator : Samantha cooker.

It's incorrect also. Our hair grows at the same speed. But due to the shrinkage that we have, it can APPEAR that it doesn't grow as fast. But it does.

Altho I think all hair is beautiful, the appeal of straight hair to me is the fact that it takes less time and effort to make it socially acceptable to the mainstream world. However, I would not want bone straight hair for myself. I prefer the versatility of curly/coily hair.

You’re agreeing with her saying that BW can’t grow hair ? And her basically calling us all ugly and not feminine. You agree with that ?

Type 4 is the most versatile and beautiful of all the hair types, and your last sentence was correct. However, you witness it and you're of mixed race. I am black with 4a-c hair, I love it and myself, this lady is being purely subjective, I totally disagree with her.

This is wonderful. I let my hair do what it wants as well, natural hair is not meant to be prefect, that is the beauty in it. I think it is great that you have found what works for you. I will say even within other communities long hair being equated to femininity has been pushed for decades.

As you should! But in this context she did not mean it in a positive way.

Thank you!

Hello Fatima! I am so glad that you have something to help retain your length. Unfortunately for many the ridicule is within their own community.

Thank you !

thank you

Hey MJ! Thank you.

Thank you !

I actually feel sorry and sad for her. I think she is beautiful, she does not know it.. If she loved herself more, she would love her natural beauty 😢

Thank you. I agree, a lion's manes can be powerful and beautiful, however; in her video I believe she is using him as a negative example.

thank you

Thank you

Hello. It is unfortunate that your community was not there for your, but I am glad that you see your own beauty!

With care and intent to grow, all black women's hair will grow if wanted, although all women don't want long hair. it's a choice, we grow 6 inches or more a year and with care over a short period of time can be long (6inx3years=18in), a woman can decide her length. Natural as possible is the way to go.

lol cant talk

Hello Gail and thank you!

You do make some great points. Your statement about families not having long hair leads me to statements I have made before. I understand genetics, terminal length, medications, conditions, mesopause etc can all play a role in the hair/hair length or how it grows; however; is it all genetics or have bad hair care practices been passed down from generation to generation ? The women who has long hair is it all genetics or has she learned how to care for her hair.

Me and my daughter have long hair I’m glad I went naturally while I was pregnant with her because if not I’d probably have ruined her hair but I learned to take care of our natural hair and my daughter hair is tail bone length I’m 28 and my hair is now the longest it’s ever been before I went natural my hair kept breaking because i didn’t properly take care of it but now I know how to and my hair grows with out breakage ❤

Very true, but my mom has long hair, her sister and my cousin. That's why I knew I could grow it long, but I didn't know how.

Wonderful to hear !

lol it is bad that I remember that reunion ?

@@KlassicallyKept LOL no girl, that line comes in handy one too many times 🤣

Funny enough, it is cornrows that are growing my hair long 😍

My whole tribe in home country cornrow their hair and are known for their thick long hair.

​@@Dee___..it's the way they are done . Some braiders braids your thoughts and subconscious some are more light handed.

Thank you! Correct. Someone from the community stated she has just begun to wear her natural hair. I do not know if that is true but if it is, good for her, however; based on how strongly she feels in this video I don't think she is there yet.

Yes!

Thank you and welcome to the community !

Hello and great points. The issue may be the texture for her along with the fact that her hair does not grow.

Thank you

Thank you! I am glad that you have found what works for you ! I wish you the best on natural hair journey!

thank you

oh no , lol I gave yall a look ?

I love your story. You sound like me when it comes to the care! I love that you have found what works for you and that your husband supported you, some women are not as fortunate. LMBO afford him the treat...I get it! Now the babies! Congratulations if you are with child or I wish you well on your journey. I know your babies will have beautiful hair. I am waiting for a mini-me so we can have hair care days together!

Good topic. I was at an event recently and most of the black women there were highly overweight. Even young women. It was noticible. I was thinking... This is not good. But not new I guess.

The fat acceptance movement is self destructive.

Hello. My channel is about fashion and natural hair care. I am not touching the self acceptance/body positive movement lol with a 10 foot pole.

@@KlassicallyKept I don't blame you! 🤣

The pressure to be curvy and overweight to get a big behind and front at the detriment of their health and longevity is alarming...

Hello Brooke. And this is why I say being natural is a journey! I am so glad that you have now embraced your texture. Listen here, lol, in this hot Carolina heat don't even try it ! Wrap that thing up and go about your day !

@@KlassicallyKept yes! It’s truly a journey of many layers! Thank you I am too! I love these commentary pieces you do. They really get the conversations going. 🩷

My husband cannot stand wigs! We met when I was natural and he has loved my hair ever since !

It’s embarrassing 🤦🏽‍♀️and this has gone viral

I agree. She could’ve kept this to herself or talked with a friend. Some things don’t need to be told to the public.

Tell it! She need to speak for HERSELF instead of dragging all of us bw into HER insecurities! 😒 🗣 YOU can't grow YOUR hair ma'am! And it's probably cuz she nurtures those wigs better than her real hair. 😤 The call is coming from inside the house. 💁🏾‍♀️

It is an old and tired myth. Caring for your hair and learning it will take you far !

I love big hair as well, it is so beautiful