Debunking The Illusion That A Narcissistic Abuser Knows You Best

Рет қаралды 5,651

Jay Reid - Recovery from Bad Childhoods

3 ай бұрын

In today's video I explain why being more powerful does not mean being stronger. Next, I offer four reasons why the scapegoat child is psychologically stronger than the narcissistic parent. This child is more psychologically flexible. They are more emotionally mature. The truth matters more to them. And they are more empathic. By the end of the video, my hope is that you have a framework with which to identify how you exhibited strength in your own upbringing.
Knowing the truth about your strength is a critical step in healing from narcissistic abuse.
After watching this video AND if you’re ready to learn more…
Accelerate your recovery journey today by getting a FREE Copy of my ebook, Learn 4 Ways Adult Scapegoat Survivors Can Heal
Click HERE -- lp.jreidtherapy.com/4-ways-to...

Пікірлер: 96

@aquariusstar7248

This insight is so helpful. As a teen, the unconscious desire to self-destruct, rebellion and suicidal ideation was an attempt to destroy the narcissistic parent's image implanted in my subconscious. It wasn't me wanting to die. Today, I find myself triggered by authority figures, but in reality I'm only playing out my relationship with my parent to be validated and approved. The real journey is in the transformation of self-image, being your own image designer and validating oneself in the process. Thank you again, Jay🙏🏾

@carolynkepler2826

My oldest brother thought he had me all figured out. I have only spoken to him once in 14 years when his wife died(good riddance). My mother projected her craziness on to me. You’ve described my life exactly. When people say good things about me I think “if they only knew the real me”. I’m 68 and finally took that other fork in the road. I’ve been able to choose people who are not abusive and reject the ones who are. I had to accept that it takes a lifetime.

@kathleengalek4441

I thoroughly sabotaged by life and thought that by not succeeding on any level I would be accepted the parents. I also got an Ivy League PhD and had a successful child and this didn’t lead to them accepting me. I finally got that there is nothing I can do or be to ever be accepted by these people. Finally got it 😕

@pam8056

I am Sarah. Her story is mine, too. My narcissistic mom used to discount any positive feedback from anyone, "They don't know you like we do" with a sneer. No contact 8 years - now I am free. I am reading your book and finding it very helpful and giving me new perspective

@user-xn2wx1lh4u

I made a lot of progress when I stopped reacting to my mother's attacks and just met them with unemotional silence.

@fragaria_vesca

You do NOT sound like a broken record. You just happen to draw a very detailed map of the sick circular thinking we all have been tortured with. Thank you so much!

@rubberbiscuit99

The brainwashing on this point is invariably embedded in our subconscious minds, and for me it was hard to bring it into consciousness. Once I could do that I could start the healing process, which is a long process.

@wimtimmerman6730

I recognize this so well. Like so many scapegoat survivors of narcissistic abuse, I've had to adopt a really negative self image in order to survive. This has made it very difficult to let others get close to me, as I was very afraid that they might one day encounter the real, absolutely awful and despicable me. This makes real relationships practically impossible. Luckily, I've been able to work through this mess, and come out on top. I think as a consequence of my upbringing, I will never be able to accept people who abuse their power. A good friend of mine, who was also raised by a narcissistic parent, has got exactly the same experience. He also can't tolerate abuse of power. In my book, that's a positive outcome.

@mtc-j9i

The people who treat you badly know you best 🤯🤯 this was definitely a thought pattern of mine. I never trusted those who treated me well…like they must not know the real me. Tragic! I’m digging deep into this now after escaping a terrible marriage to a man who is exactly like my mother. I have girls to raise, and I’m going to raise them to be strong and happy with a strong sense of self rooted in positivity. That means I need to root all this out of my own psyche. It’s a big project, but I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me….and thanks to this KZfaq channel 🙏🏽🙏🏽

@88lrogers

Thank you for your work, it is invaluable to people like me and we NEED to hear this information over and over - YOU ARE NOT SOUNDING LIKE A BROKEN RECORD! 😊❤

@user-dc6wz4dv3l

A narcissist doesn't know anyone including themselves. They are hard pressed to know your favorite color. They will shy away from couples nights and games because it becomes painfully obvious and embarrassing.

@pam8056

We need your broken record to counteract the decades of abusive broken records our narcissistic families drilled into us

@alter-ego-uno

"... who supposedly cares" sums it up. They are INcapable of truly caring about anyone. Like armchairs, we are either comfortable or uncomfortable in the moment. I shudder to think how awful it would be to live inside their emptiness.

@eileenpillmeier3270

Love your dog back there snoozing in the chair.

@amberfuchs398

She would tell me "I know you better than you know yourself." And I'd scoff at her. "Sure you do."

@olympics1234567

Don't feel like a broken record Jay, it's a nice and encouraging way to end the talk.

@rebellaire55

I was Sarah i during the early years of my life. After going down the rabbit hole of educating myself about narcissism, the game changed. Never felt so seen and validated in this video.

@thiefonthecross7552

I can't afford therapy and your videos are a lifeline in really breaking down the formation of my identity in a narcissistic household. THANK YOU

@mediacreations5996

Discounting positive feedback, I always felt that the narcs approval is the only one that mattered,cos I thought they had my best interests at heart but realised this was far from the truth. Love the fork in the road analogy, 👊it so resonates with me, being in this cross road transition phase myself. Another great video🌟Thanks Jay🙏Happy weekend to you and Brizo🐾🐾✨🌈💫