Femcel Feminism and Transgrrressive Girlhood

Рет қаралды 621,080

Күн бұрын

Use SHANSPEARE55 to get 55% off your first month at Scentbird sbird.co/3E3VRoq
This month I received...
French Leather by Memo Paris sbird.co/3K82DNV
Dans Les Bois by DIME Beauty sbird.co/3E2Uerj
Néroli & Orchidée by L'Occitane en Provence sbird.co/3YKahC5
-
second channel: @shansorbet
instagram: / shanspeare.jpg
subscribe to T.O.E (it's free): www.shanspeare.com/
support me on ko-fi: ko-fi.com/shanspeare
Hi! I'm Shaniya but I use the moniker Shanspeare on KZfaq. I'm 24, use they/them pronouns, and love all things pop culture! My channel has a lot going on: think Shakespeare meets Baz Luhrmann meets insufferable jester in a relevant but silly costume. I have a bachelor's in English Professional Writing (and basically Literary Analysis--long story) which aids me in the creation of my content. Above all, I wish to emphasize teachability and critical engagement through a fun lens.
Article Sources:
-Wald, Gayle. “Just a Girl? Rock Music, Feminism, and the Cultural Construction of Female Youth.” Signs, vol. 23, no. 3, 1998, pp. 585-610. JSTOR, www.jstor.org/stable/3175302 . Accessed 17 Feb. 2023.
-Showalter, Elaine. “Killing the Angel in the House: The Autonomy of Women Writers.” The Antioch Review, vol. 50, no. 1/2, 1992, pp. 207-20. JSTOR, doi.org/10.2307/4612511 . Accessed 17 Feb. 2023.
-Wikipedia. “The Angel in the House.” en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Ang...
-Ghasemi, Parvin. “VIOLENCE, RAGE, AND SELF-HURT IN SYLVIA PLATH’S POETRY.” CLA Journal, vol. 51, no. 3, 2008, pp. 284-303. JSTOR, www.jstor.org/stable/44325429 . Accessed 17 Feb. 2023.
-Epstein et al. “Girlhood Interrupted: The Erasure of Black Girls’ Childhood.” Georgetown Law, genderjusticeandopportunity.g...
-Marnina Gonick. “Between ‘Girl Power’ and ‘Reviving Ophelia’: Constituting the Neoliberal Girl Subject.” NWSA Journal, vol. 18, no. 2, 2006, pp. 1-23. JSTOR, www.jstor.org/stable/4317205. Accessed 21 Feb. 2023.
-Nolan, Megan. “The Functions of Female Rage.” Frieze, www.frieze.com/article/functi...
-Roisin Lanigan. “What is a Femcel?” I-D. i-d.vice.com/en/article/3adzn...
-Williams, Hannah. “The Resurgence of the Monstrous Feminine.” Granta, granta.com/the-resurgence-of-....
-Alverson, Lorelei. “Femcel Feminism: Who Does It Serve?” Political Science at Haverford College. pols.sites.haverford.edu/stud...
-Koch, Amie, and Arthi Kozhumam. “Adultification of Black children negatively impacts their health: Recommendations for health care providers.” Nursing forum vol. 57,5 (2022): 963-967. doi:10.1111/nuf.12736
Videos Mentioned/Cited:
Le, Mina. "Toxic" Femininity: What's Up With Girlbloggers, Female Manipulators, And Femcels?” KZfaq. • "toxic" femininity: wh...
timestamps:
0:00 intro/skit
2:25 thank you to scentbird!
5:41 act one: the year of the femcel
18:45 act two: transgrrressive grrrlhood
39:52 act three: the three -ize's
49:27 outro, goodbye!
Tags:
femcel, female manipulator, girlblogger, fleabag era, fleabag, black swan, girl interrupted, american psycho, female manipulator playlists, riot grrrl, riot grrrl playlist, riot girl, video essay, girlblogger subliminal, balletcore aesthetic, balletcore outfits, tumblr girl, lana del rey, ethel cain, phoebe bridgers, fiona apple, girlhood, whisper girl, coquette, divine feminine, sylvia plath, manic pixie dream girl, my year of rest and relaxation, female rage, 2014 tumblr, adultification, female gaze, bella hadid, lily rose depp, girlblogging, boy eater, man eater, cool girl, dark femininity, this is what makes us girls, pretty when you cry,

Пікірлер: 1 600

@Shanspeare Жыл бұрын

Use SHANSPEARE55 to get 55% off your first month at Scentbird sbird.co/3E3VRoq Let me know what your ideal fragrance would smell like!

@no.1.itgirl2 Жыл бұрын

@seabreeze4559 Жыл бұрын

Femcel is a 4chan op to shame women who don't want to sleep with them, especially virgin shaming.

@Mosquito-balls Жыл бұрын

U look like a femcel %100

@adamtravelsandstuff 10 ай бұрын

Hi I love your videos especially the one about our beauty addiction! Could I please make one suggestion, that when you put text or a picture up that you keep it there for a little while rather than 1 or 2 seconds? It would just make watching and reading highlights more relaxing and organic. Thank you so much!!

@mailman276 Жыл бұрын

i think the lana del ray ‘damaged but hot’ sort of feminism actually just reinforces the sexist notion that female anger is trivial, or a sign of damage in an individual woman, rather than a natural response to legitimate grievances.

@theevenisonproductions8924 Жыл бұрын

I feel the same way. I hate seeing the content about being “damaged” because that word applied to people has such a dehumanizing connotation.

@mariannebec9871 11 ай бұрын

I may not understand so much bcz i don't care about Lana del rey and never encountered anyone in those vibes. But to me, being damaged isn't something bad. It's quite normal you become damaged by this society as a woman. And if men don't respect it, fuck them. I mean, i wouldn't live for their respect or understanding ? But I think I don't get what type of people you mean by damaged and hot / Lana del Rey and I hope you'll be able to explain it to me 🥲

@DeathnoteBB 11 ай бұрын

@@mariannebec9871Nah I get what they mean and I agree with you.

@MarsRisingMarlene 10 ай бұрын

*Rey

@IloveGardensandteaparties 9 ай бұрын

YOU TELL THEM !!!

@coolbeans3674 Жыл бұрын

i find it interesting that (in my experience) femcels put such an emphasis on oppressive beauty standards. i was in a femcel adjacent community for awhile and never saw a girl who wasn’t skinny in their little mood board things.

@lucarin8191 Жыл бұрын

yeah, any incel be it male or female is very much into their looks to an unhealthy degree. its very sad.

@xelmx123 Жыл бұрын

Well that's bc a big chunk of femcels are autistic or neurodivergent. Being skinny doesn't grant u everything. Also, shanspeare is conflating femcels community with sad girl community and they are NOT the same. True femcels community is very different

@sapphic.flower Жыл бұрын

I was gonna point out the same thing when I saw what Femcel blogs looked like. It’s definitely ironic how the imagery to represent their idea of feminism is basically a copy-paste of beauty standards.

@jenniferhunter4074 Жыл бұрын

Could it be self-internalized desires? They seek an aesthetic that they were programmed to consider was "beautiful". Many will eventually realize that it's just a game and it doesn't really matter. They are kind of young.

@nami-ic5nv Жыл бұрын

@@jenniferhunter4074 i agree. further i think the types of girls/women who make up these communities have a sense of entitlement to pretty privilege and their anger stems from not being granted it for some reason or another.

@emcrolls Жыл бұрын

Ablelism is hard core in femcel lands too. Mental health/illness are romantic or artistic fodder, only so long as your body is still "traditionally " visibly the default of movement & space interaction

@GrungeGalactica Жыл бұрын

I’m guessing the reason why people with visible disabilities people who aren’t white, skinny etc are shunned from the clique is cause 1. They can’t relate 2. They’re too absorbed in their own struggles to have room for ones that differ from their own & 3. It probably doesn’t fit their “woe is me”narrative because it makes them aware of their privilege and makes their issues seem silly in comparison. Pretty sure you lot would be rolling your eyes at most of them anyways 😂 your struggles are valid ofc, but no point expressing them to a sad (mean) girl crowd who don’t wanna listen. I think they’re sorely lacking compassion and we shouldn’t be further dividing ourselves when we’re best working together. Plus it’s probably a good thing to be aware of the challenges other’s face to give perspective and motivation for change, rather than just being stuck in an echo chamber.

@emcrolls Жыл бұрын

@@GrungeGalactica yeah my point was twofold 1 it’s not only fatphbia. 2 Disabled people who express depression or other mental health struggles starting in adolescence we are often told “ I would unalive myself in your situation.” Often by medical “professionals “

@emcrolls Жыл бұрын

@@GrungeGalactica also present very white & traditionally "pretty" when my disability isnt obvious

@cunningcorvid2586 Жыл бұрын

Couldn't agree more. It kept me from really seeking treatment for my issues because I equated my mental health issues with my personality. Without that, who was I?

@AnaSofia-xe2wg Жыл бұрын

I mean, femcels want to be the beauty standard. A lot of them are WOC and I think that just integrates with everything else. When you are tired of being put down all your life, wouldn't you like to be the one on top for once? They recognize how pointless and insulting the standards put on women are, but they still want to achieve them. A lot of them, anyway. Some are just tired and want to rant.

@vanillaplanifoliae Жыл бұрын

"you are very young. and you are learning how to live" for some reason brought me to the verge of tears

@thecatlurking Жыл бұрын

My femcel/sad girl era was very highly influenced by the movie Suckerpunch so it made me feel so seen.

@armonim.s.5652 Жыл бұрын

me too. Glad to see I am not the only one

@obliviousred Жыл бұрын

I so wish I'd heard something like that when I was growing up!

@hallehuckleberry Жыл бұрын

crying together

@bloomfromthewinxclub Жыл бұрын

iirc a lot of that opening skit is from the book “the subtle art of not giving a f” it’s a rly good read

@maki55556 Жыл бұрын

I love when people think tumblr is dead like it's still very much there making a new gen of sad girls literally just saw that blog post in the beginning on there

@jasltube4566 Жыл бұрын

i often stumble across pro anna post, they figured out hoe to hid in there. i learned of a thing called mean-spo, they bully the person for eating and for not fitting the body they want. 8ts really sickening and it messed with my mind

@Mikey-jv5fv Жыл бұрын

@bookish yeah even if it were truly dead you can still feel the echoes of it’s influence on internet culture on like a every other major social media and it’s communities today. It feels like it should a relic of early internet like MySpace but you can still literally make an account it’s funny

@jasltube4566 Жыл бұрын

@melkydew2943 real, i use it almost everyday

@flamingaish Жыл бұрын

there are so many on pinterest, and they all have their tumblrs linked in their bio

@jasltube4566 Жыл бұрын

@flamingaish yes!!! i saw a whisper that said "lana stans are suppose to be mean" like. ew

@user-mv1mv3yp4b Жыл бұрын

This is so good, reminds me of reading about the riot grrl trend of reclaiming the word “slut” and how much more difficult or impossible that is for women of color when they are oversexualized from the beginning due to the intersection of racism with their gender experience. Thank you for bringing more attention to these discussions!

@sapphic.flower Жыл бұрын

I recently came across a clip of a black female activist who brought up how women fighting for the ability to work also failed to acknowledge how black women were already "working". It's not that they're wrong but feminist movements have been defined by white feminism.

@moeg.280 Жыл бұрын

I remember picking up on this when I was younger, even without language for it.

@bojuu Жыл бұрын

so... is that a good thing or a bad thing?

@Firegen1 Жыл бұрын

@fish It's a thing.. thing. Trinity put it perfectly. Read her comment.

@sasentaiko Жыл бұрын

As an afab of color, I remember back in middle/high school trying to reclaim the word “perverted” when it was being used to threaten me and show me my place. Didn’t work too well; it was apparently way too transgressive to be taken seriously by peers of any color or gender. The point is to exclude people and control our behavior: reality, morality, and our feelings can’t stand in the way of that.

@guy-sl3kr Жыл бұрын

It's interesting to look at the differences between femcels and regular incels since it seems to me like femcels don't really have the same bitterness towards celibacy and resentment towards the opposite sex? Kinda weird that they're called that imo

@stripedpolkadots8692 Жыл бұрын

They’re called that cause ppl are harsher towards women overall tbh : /

@cw9475 Жыл бұрын

I think a fair bit of the difference is entitlement. Teen guys and men feel entitled to women's bodies. That women owe their bodies to them. Girls and women just feel sad and left out because that sense of entitlement (in this case to men's bodies) isn't there. Sidenote - I probably would have been in a femcel community if I had an active footprint online as a teen. But I was bullied mercilessly and didn't want that to extend to the Internet, so I never made any accounts anywhere. EDIT Lol at people running with "entitlement" which is not what I said in isolation. READ WHAT I WROTE. Entitlement TO womens bodies specifically. Like women are consumable objects. Not general entitlement. Specifically - entitlement to this ~one~ concept. Women and girls do NOT have the same equal cultural entitlement to men's and boys bodies. Learn to read!!!

@areeba7045 Жыл бұрын

yeah i noticed that too, from what i've seen on the femcel community, aside from the beauty standards i've seen some push, i havent seen anyone say or believe in anything as immoral as the incel community. i don't like that they're being given the feminine version of that name when the incel community is so much worse in comparison

@lucarin8191 Жыл бұрын

yeah, right? I've lurked on femcel communities such as cc and lolcow where the real poisonous women are, and they for sure talk shit about men and transwomen, but at the same time they dont hold a candle to their male counterparts posts about legalizing p3doph1ilia, nor have i seen any self-proclaimed femcel commit acts of violence whereas male incels do in fact r4pe, stalk, and murder.

@moommoom6915 Жыл бұрын

yea exactly. its mostly women who are bitter over not having pretty privilege and mad at society not mad at the opposite sex like incels

@okkelly6207 Жыл бұрын

Moment to appreciate how much effort Shanspeare puts into their videos and outfits 💗💗💗

@laurad4277 Жыл бұрын

Shanspeare puts more effort into their outfits then I do at school🤩

@tamarbeker1701 Жыл бұрын

Literally! Like, if there's a scale for that, that starts from a normal KZfaqr and ends with someone like contrapoints or philosophy tube, then they are probably somewhere next to Jessie gender on it

@sacrilegioussasquatch Жыл бұрын

@@tamarbeker1701 definitely sharing a spot they both put in so much effort and look so cool

@tamarbeker1701 Жыл бұрын

@@sacrilegioussasquatch yep!

@noellebarnes6826 Жыл бұрын

yes! seriously some of the most quality content on youtube

@natsumi52 Жыл бұрын

'I was addicted to loneliness and desperation, and because those were my strongest emotions, it felt like it was my destiny to feel them' thank you for putting this into words

@InsightfulZen 6 ай бұрын

You could have found those words in an incel subreddit if you had the empathy to go look for them.

@Aurora81689 4 ай бұрын

😮

@CL-sj9lp Ай бұрын

@@InsightfulZenwhy does a women not entering incel spaces, mean that she does not have empathy?

@Wayza666 Ай бұрын

woah

@Mars-bl4lp 9 күн бұрын

@@InsightfulZen fuck incels. you need to help yourselves

@SpookySkully777 Жыл бұрын

The femcel subreddit was like night and day contrasting to the men’s. I’ve noticed men get angry and blame women, whereas women, we just blame ourselves for not being good enough

@flamingmanure Жыл бұрын

laughably untrue and theres plenty of studies to show it, in truth its actually the other way around, femcels constantly blame men and incels in general blame themselves and are all about self improvement, most advice given to incels is basically gym, hobbies and self reflection, laughably the opposite for femcels. just write down incel internalization on google and read up on studies conducted in universities, i think youre only convincing yourself of this since you frequent femcel subs that constantly spew this false narrative, all i have to say is r/chromosomes and r/FDS. in truth, femcel behavior is encouraged in western society while incels are demonized, now what incels subs are your reffering to exactly?

@user-pt1re4qp1r 10 ай бұрын

From what I've seen, there is a lot of self-hatred going on with the incels as well. The largest difference, imo, is that femcels seem a lot more motivated to do something, whereas the incels' whole ethos is that it's hopeless and they should all give up and die. Femcels are a lot more similar to male pickup artists in that regard, right along with the creepy "psychology" they use to try and get laid. That said, they feel similarly angry to incels, particularly with directing that anger towards society; the worst kinds of incels I've seen say that they should have state-mandated sex-sl*ves, and the worst kinds of femcels call for the systematic genocide of all men, so the two groups are actually quite similar in the depths of depravity they can reach.

@themagicknightress7132 9 ай бұрын

Bc of the notion that men would sleep with a rock if it had a vagina

@Taylorwedege97 8 ай бұрын

@mirandaw.4944 8 ай бұрын

so true. the incels are always mad at everyone else

@nisipisa Жыл бұрын

i spent some time on the femcel subreddit before it got banned - it was SO sad. lots of really brutal stories of rejection and posts about endless loneliness and the pointlessness of trying

@AnaSofia-xe2wg Жыл бұрын

Hahahaha. Me too! Then we kinda moved to the pink pill, but it ended up going nowhere. There's still a discord somewhere but meh... It's not the same.

@wattthefaqameye1146 Жыл бұрын

Oh my goooood you're here!!!! 💖💖💖💖

@myristicina. Жыл бұрын

sameee it was so depressive

@marinakesawa7470 Жыл бұрын

Maybe the incel board and the femcel board should have gotten together to create a dating pool.

@BushidoBrownSama Жыл бұрын

What got them banned?

@mauve9266 Жыл бұрын

I feel like, whilst I had the potential to fall into the sad girl camp at some point in my adolescence, I always saw it as being exclusively for pretty white girls. Not that you have to be ‘pretty’ or white to feel sad 😅 but that was always the image I associated with it. I didn’t think I could ‘perform’ sadness in the way I saw it being presented so, for better or worse (probably better), I thought “oh this isn’t for me I’ll just do/find something else”

@BloodWired Жыл бұрын

I get that on some level. Being a sad chubby girl was “gross” even if you were white but being a pale skinny girl was romantic. It’s the same with melancholic young men - we usually depict them as being very frail and androgynous, but anything else looks pathetic. It’s kind if amazing that “sadness” has an aesthetic.

@starojunes Жыл бұрын

I felt the exact same as well as thinking that "oh that is only for thinner girls" because I grew up as a chubby girl. I remember feeling hurt over this. That I couldn't be perceived as "beautifully tragic and damaged" because I wasn't thin and white. Lmao sounds so dumb looking back.

@bandidocavalier Жыл бұрын

Reallll im trans and brown and kinda muscular. Not really fat more so just a shorter, stockier dad bod with a bit of a waist and not that big of a tummy. I loooove lana del rey and hyperfemenine aesthetics but i legitimately been fightin off the eds since im like 14 and first realized i am not cis. This shit insane ☠️☠️

@tomriddleschild6256 Жыл бұрын

I know exactly what you mean. And feel

@PrincessLioness Жыл бұрын

I feel this. On paper I good fit the aesthetic but I was black and not pale. It was out of reach as my race was the one thing I couldn’t change.

@swededontknow Жыл бұрын

it all comes down to intersectionality for me because yes I was socialized a woman and understand the feelings of rage that a lot of femcels exhibit, but also I am a darkskin black woman and was raised in a majority white community, so rage isn't something I was really allowed to exhibit. it's like trying not to tip the scales in fear of angering someone else, and it usually jus ends with me crying unable to say what's making me cry, whether it's anger or sadness. feels weird man.

@islandofideals6571 Жыл бұрын

Same. It's like I pulled out my own teeth to make the white people around me more comfortable. I smile and laugh when I'm angry and I hate it.

@hexx2211 Жыл бұрын

Same here! I find it so strange how black girls tend to be treated like we're invisible at PWI's in a way that black boys/men never are. It can be so isolating and yet expressing how hurtful that is will only make it worse.

@bmwjourdandunngoddess6024 Жыл бұрын

@@hexx2211 Black boys/men are invisible at PWIs. Girl the delusion 😭

@user-ev5gj8xe2b Жыл бұрын

:( ❤

@Toastcat890 Жыл бұрын

Or you just numb yourself and find a coping mechanism.

@coolbeans3674 Жыл бұрын

i think in the end femcels are just lonely. they idolize lana and nina bc they r able to point out similarities between themselves and the characters. in the lonely world of girlhood these characters feel like friends, somebody who finally, FINALLY, understands.

@seabreeze4559 Жыл бұрын

femcels are a 4chan term to shame women for refusing to sleep with them, virgin shaming especially, it doesn't actually exist. incel was invented by a woman.

@LondonMoneyCashEnterprise Жыл бұрын

and incels are not lonely?

@Enriquez2222 Жыл бұрын

@@LondonMoneyCashEnterprise why don’t they get together then? Oh right incels attack every woman that is in their vicinity

@coolbeans3674 Жыл бұрын

@@LondonMoneyCashEnterprise oh no incels have plenty of probs too, i think their loneliness tends to manifest differently tho

@paitynmccutcheon5129 Жыл бұрын

Let’s not forget Fiona apple lol

@LR-qy8tw Жыл бұрын

In HS I wrote a poem as an antithesis of the Angel in the House. It ended like: “She will sob on no man’s breast in penitence of the sins of mind or flesh.”

@kuromi3101 Жыл бұрын

That’s beautiful

@luxediety Жыл бұрын

I would love to read the rest of your poem, can you share your work?

@maxiwaxipads Жыл бұрын

abracadabra alakazam i am stealing this line as inspiration for some near future

@LR-qy8tw Жыл бұрын

@@maxiwaxipads no plagiarism please

@GrungeGalactica Жыл бұрын

I look at it as meaning she’s an angel cause she’s dead inside & has no sense of self other than taking care of & pleasing her man. It’s not gonna be me, that’s for sure 😂

@JohnSydney225 Жыл бұрын

"Rated E for everyone, just like these hands!" I'm dying 😂 Shanspeare's humor is my favorite thing from this channel

@andrewharris8461 Жыл бұрын

Part of the femcel/sadgirl culture kinda reminds me of that one Chris Fleming bit “be original but run it by us first”. Like the acceptance (not mainstream in this case but in sub communities) of transgressive behavior, but only if you are conventionally attractive

@nitrofairywing1541 Жыл бұрын

I see a lot of that in movies too

@N0.__. Жыл бұрын

"I made it past 16 and I didn't think I would, so that has to count to something " I don't think I've ever cried at your videos, this sentence made me bawl. I remember my own youth and how effing hard that was. Great video as usual!

@shanelbryant5638 5 ай бұрын

I think that’s how a lot of us who were in the early 2010s tumblr sad girl communities were. Like I spent every year thinking it was going to be the last one until I made it to 22 and now I’m like “I didn’t plan for this”

@espeon871 Жыл бұрын

As an intersectional feminist, i really am critical of some femcel spaces where theyre overly ironic because they'll be very trad fem ironically and sometimes go into legit white supremacy territory so i just tiptoe around it

@babyqeels Жыл бұрын

You took the words out of my mouth! I like girly things and love being girly whilst also being powerful and full of rage so the aesthetic can be genuinely appealing until it gets political. Even the Americana aesthetic is too much for me sometimes😭

@cloudfrost8403 Жыл бұрын

I am a gross hairy lesbian feminist who also likes other gross hairy women and I find this kind of feminism really alienating. I don't know how to do makeup. I don't normally wear it, but on occasion I want to put some on and am unable to even do eyeliner. Women who like wearing makeup do not understand this about me. It is a skill I would like to have, but like any skill, it is also work to acquire. Because I have not performed this work, nor do I perform other beauty work like shaving, I am made to feel inferior and ugly. That feels like coercion to me. However, nowadays this is an extremely unpopular opinion.

@espeon871 Жыл бұрын

@@babyqeels same! Like i can be like oh cool ballet stuff then its pro ed and trad wife conservatism- scary

@espeon871 Жыл бұрын

@🌹whimsical reverie🌹 yeah it really is, even if its ironic u can get irony poisoning and start legit believing in the bs

@dirt1688 Жыл бұрын

@@babyqeels absolutely everything is political lmao

@hazelistheworst Жыл бұрын

Though I don't agree with all of the choices my parents made while raising me, one thing I commend them for is not allowing me to have any social media until high school, or interact with media targeted for an older/more mature audience. My mental health has never been all that great, and I imagine would be a lot worse if I was exposed to content I was not yet mature enough to properly process and consume

@Fopenplop Жыл бұрын

counterargument: i think its really cool that my parents allowed me to bombard myself with a stream of validation for self loathing and become an edgy internet addict idiot like i had zero social skills for a solid 5 years after i moved out but i'm pretty much fine now

@belkyhernandez8281 11 ай бұрын

I wish more parents did this.

@coolbeans3674 Жыл бұрын

everyone wants to believe that they are hot and beautiful. if the girls are sad, and they can say that hot girls are sad, it can make. them feel better. but if they feel better and they’re no longer sad, then they’re not hot anymore so in the end i agree w/ u that it isn’t the best idea

@alicemuguet6947 11 ай бұрын

just adapt your perspective so that you always think of yourself as hot. hot girls are sad, hot girls are happy, hot girls take care of themselves, etc. positive thinking!

@graybaumann3195 Жыл бұрын

Riot grrrl was the rejection of gender roles and the patriarchy. A lot of bands, such as Lunachicks (who has an ftm drummer) and Bikini Kill, were trans-inclusionist from the start. Le Tigre happened to have gone to that transphobic event, but had trans/gender nonconforming people within the band. They never went to that event again after realizing it was transphobic. Riot grrl was built on being who you are and not letting “The man” control you, as much of the punk scene was back then and still is.

@shinossaura Жыл бұрын

Yes! Also, Kathleen Hannah is all about trans rights on her social media

@user-ev5gj8xe2b Жыл бұрын

absolutely, punk and riot grrrl is inherently trans; even the definition of punk originally meant homosexual. i hear often that punk is black exclusionist however afro punk is very alive and well at least where i live. i also think 90s hip hop and ghetto fabulous culture had its own reaction and relationship with race/class/gender roles punk and riot will always be for everyone, ive seen nazi "punks" and sexual harassers getting their asses beat in pits at shows. i hope it continues to uphold diversity and anti capitalism.

@melodyskellington5009 Жыл бұрын

actually they played it twice and never apologized for playing womyn are womyn. id rather listen to woc fronted rock any day. i used to be a riot grrrl though. i still like sleater kinney. Mr lady records was owned by kaia wilson of team dresch and that was le tigres record label most of their career and she still is to this day transphobic. she honestly didn't get enough backlash for booking le tigre there twice

@leakypfaucet Жыл бұрын

Yass

@pollysshore2539 Жыл бұрын

@@user-ev5gj8xe2b There were (punk is dead)/are incredibly inclusive punk scenes. It’s been that way since the beginning. In the U.K Ska was incorporated with a lot of punk. Bad Brains were major inspiration to many punk bands. Radio Clash by the Clash was a response to The Message by Grand Master Flash and the Furious Five. Punk was/is a movement that sought to expand inclusion while continuing to fight for rights. They had to deal with in fighting due to a smaller number of bands that took a completely different route. Many fought skinheads during and after shows. This was a part of the hyper masculine appearance of punk. You had to be ready to physically fight. I liked a good number of Riot Girl bands. Some got on my last nerve. It’s not surprising that there ended up being some contention over trans matters and rights. This was happening in feminism at large in the 1990s. It was a blip in the grand scheme of things at the time. Not by design. There was a lot going on. Several matters needed to be addressed.

@BubbleBunnyy Жыл бұрын

Oof man I’m white and I had that adult thing happen to me. I can’t imagine how much worse it’d be if I was a poc. For me it’s because I was the oldest, I was also parentified at 12 and before that was told I was mature for my age and other things like that. It scared me up SO BAD as an adult. Being forced to care for my special needs brother, he has autism and had many struggles because of it, completely ruined our relationship and it’s only getting better now that I am 23. My mom denies parentifying me too she says “you did it to yourself” NO I did not, I didn’t CHOOSE ti watch him instead of seeing my friends, I didn’t CHOOSE to walk him home every single day in the Florida heat! I hated it!

@BubbleBunnyy Жыл бұрын

Justice for big sisters

@cloudfrost8403 Жыл бұрын

This exact thing happened to me, wild. What's wilder is that I'm also autistic.

@BubbleBunnyy Жыл бұрын

@@cloudfrost8403 yea idk if I am autistic I think I might be, definitely have adhd. It was difficult taking care of a special needs kid when I was 14 and barely knew how to care for myself even

@nitrofairywing1541 Жыл бұрын

Momma shoulda did better, period

@BubbleBunnyy Жыл бұрын

@@nitrofairywing1541 I agree but I honestly can’t blame just my mom fully, I blame my other family members a lot. My aunt used to babysit us but she didn’t want to anymore o honestly think she didn’t like us very much when we were younger idk why. My dad died so I had to watch my younger brother every single day, my mom was in college to give us a better life. We lived in a trailer living off money from my dad dying and food stamps while she was in college so she physically couldn’t watch him when she was in school. I think more of my family members should have helped more often 🤷‍♀️ my aunt is always preaching about “family values” yet she wouldn’t help when I was a teen anymore even though she could have. She always says stuff like family is the most important thing in life and she doesn’t get people who cut their families out and stuff like that. Idk I know it’s not their responsibility it’s not their kids but if they had some more compassion I think they should have considering how she is.

@angelthedemon666 Жыл бұрын

As a huge punk and riot grrrl fan I feel like you should know some of the gaps in the story that popular media leaves out. Like how riot grrrl bands were inspired by x-ray spex, a British punk band fronted by poly styrene, a woman who was half black half white, and whose most popular song "oh bondage up yours" set the tone for the riot grrrl genre to come. Also how during and after riot grrrl there was a similar genre made up of only black women (or other women of color depending on who you ask) called sista grrrl or sista punk. Some of my favs from this are the 1865, pleasure venom, skinny girl diet, big Joanie, the objex and the Muslims (although they are fronted by a black queer enby and not a woman like the other bands). Yes the original riot grrrl had a lot of problems, but it's still alive today and better than ever, I don't think it could be written off completely.

@leakypfaucet Жыл бұрын

I Love big Joanie :) I agree, there’s valid crit but we shouldn’t throw the baby out with the bath water

@dorian417 10 ай бұрын

OMG, these are some great resources that I'm going to check out! Thanks for your insightful comment on the history of riotgrrrl.

@a-rat-in-your-walls 4 ай бұрын

There's also a lot of really good current femme punk, like Pinkshift, Bad Cop Bad Cop, and Destroy Boys.

@neonradius 2 ай бұрын

Yes!!! Thank you so much for this comment. I’d much rather promote good examples of modern punk than decry the entire genre based on bad classic punk (although not to act like there isn’t bad modern punk we need to criticize too). Especially because punk is a hotbed of black and queer political activism that I don’t really see in many other genres of music- not that other music isn’t political or activism, but a lot of activists flock to punk because of the thriving communities around it. It just feels hypocritical to disregard the dozens of amazing bands like those you mentioned because of the actions of transphobic, racist, exclusionist white cis bands.

@Jojo-tf2zp Жыл бұрын

Yesss, feathers As someone who grew up black, very angry and very sad on tumblr, this hit in an immeasurably specific way. I couldn't agree more with making sure we're actually listening to girls growing up when they express themselves. Making space for their anger, rage and hurt is vital. Honestly, I wish I had kept a bit more of that anger as I aged 🤣 This is really making me think!

@viviatwilight Жыл бұрын

lots of people are pointing it out already but the costume design in these essays are always so cool 😢 amazing vibes all around

@bverh6978 Жыл бұрын

I hate how femcels prop up and emphasize oppressive beauty standards. As a 23y/o femme, any time I felt particularly motivated to achieve toxic/oppressive beauty standards (whatever was trending in my femcel-adjacent online community) it was always an act of self harm. It was like "well I'm already f*cking miserable might as well starve myself" which is a terrible thing to think but *so* easy when you're already in that mindset :( also I love your videos so much

@espeon871 Жыл бұрын

Yes!! Thank you, as a feminist i find it disturbing that people still do that, femcels arent super atrocious and theyre still victims of patriarchal beauty standards but some of them r straight up pro ed

@AnaSofia-xe2wg Жыл бұрын

Because they want to be the beauty standard. I mean, there's lots of talks about how oppressive and useless they are, but at the end of the day an starving man wants food, even if it's McDonald's. We see the benefits and we starve for them (metaphorically and literally), it's easier to change yourself than the world around you. We don't really care how oppressive they are, because the benefits for fitting in still exists.

@haveagoodmourning Жыл бұрын

I've been thinking that way lately and it's honestly so disconcerting to go through

@user-qk6cv5bw8l Жыл бұрын

38:07 this makes me so sad, both in remembering my girlhood, and also in fear of what my daughters will inevitably face. Any sign of strength, independence, and outspokenness is shot down so early. They make us feel problematic, yet if our white peers display the same traits, they’re uplifted and encouraged…told they’ll be a great leader some day. The sexualization is another terrible experience, outside of and within our own communities. I went the the gyno at 17 and the doctor asked me if I was sexually active. I said no,l and he looked me up and down in disbelief, analyzing my body and premature curves to inform this. He asked me again 3x despite my answering no every time. They aren’t supposed to use the adult speculum on virgin girls/women. He used it anyway without informing me and after he broke my hymen, said “I guess you’re a virgin after all”. I laid there in shock. He didn’t apologize. That’s just one example of how deeply engrained the biases are in our society and how dangerous they are to young black girls. I’m terrified for my future kids.

@dorian417 10 ай бұрын

That is SO. MESSED. UP. I'm sorry that happened to you. Medical racism + sexism is real and terrifying.

@coolbeans3674 Жыл бұрын

so true. so true. girls need to feel validated-that’s why they seek out these communities-but then they need to be guided to something better. told that there feelings are ok but that feeling them forever isn’t the only option

@kittypeanut4102 4 ай бұрын

I don't know what else to do. I don't see any other options.

@EroticInferno Жыл бұрын

My parents raised me without gender expectations. I was allowed to do whatever I wanted whenever I wanted. So often I’m now described as “one of the guys,” or “not a woman.” I used to see this as a height of a compliment because I misogyny was fully in the house. But now my immediate retort is, but I am I woman. I’m not a guy. I was just raised without gendered expectations which is why I don’t “appear feminine” to you.

@bubbles4897 Жыл бұрын

You said misogyny was in your household yet you were raised without gender expectations huh?

@actuallyimnotreallysureyet6360 Жыл бұрын

@@bubbles4897 For me I relate to OP, because I was not forced to be feminine or girly or anything, but my dad was definitely very misogynistic. I never got called one of the boys, but I did have a “tomboy” phase. They let me express myself either way feminine or masculine, but there was still a bias against me for my sex (female). People are so caught up in fem vs masc nowadays they forget that sexism is real and it doesn’t typically care about your gender expression.

@seabreeze4559 Жыл бұрын

without gender expectations means you're be allowed to be girly you had anti-feminine expectations placed upon you

@bubbles4897 Жыл бұрын

@@treesea6843 I appreciate the response, but I really was only asking OP, since it sounds like a unique experience. I wasn’t asking for anyone else’s assumptions, especially since what you described sounds rather rare

@muskanverma9301 Жыл бұрын

omg your situation just reminds me of my household and childhood

@upsetstudios1819 Жыл бұрын

I think a lot of Gen Z girls can relate to having a "Psycho and Fun" phase in their teens, inspired by Melanie Martinez and the like. I think it was an attempt to romantizice our pain, our mental illnesses. A way to say, "I'm not broken, I'm psyco 🤪😈" and thereby gloss over our mental illnesses as a quirk, a set part of our personalities

@seelevollerei7224 Жыл бұрын

Yes and I think it's also in part caused by the desire to be/feel attractive: despite feeling so hurt, they are still able to cling on to physical attractiveness bc of these communities

@becuaseimbored3481 6 ай бұрын

Hey if you're circling the drain of sanity; you might as well have fun with it. Romantization of mental illness is about how outsiders view mental illness- not a gatkeeping on how people with mental illness choose to see it. What do you want them to cry forever? Get the help they can't get? Let us have our damn catharsis.

@upsetstudios1819 6 ай бұрын

@@becuaseimbored3481 but romantizing your own self-destructive and toxic traits isn't healthy, it might actually make things worse. If you're having fun "being psyco" then you might make irresponsible decisions that could hurt you. If you think "being psyco" is just who you are, then you might burn bridges with people who love you and distance yourself by purposefully being irrational or unlikable for fun. It might be cathartic now, and maybe you don't participate in any of this. But I think this type of attitude can be very harmful

@jjthepikazard212 Жыл бұрын

"whichever gender is funnier at the moment, im gonna be that" so real

@user-pt1re4qp1r 10 ай бұрын

Bitsexual and Bitgender are some of my favourite things ever.

@heplen Жыл бұрын

hearing “you are very young and you are learning how to live” was so cathartic. I desperately wish I could have told my younger self that and made her understand

@jellosapiens7261 Жыл бұрын

"What do we say to the girls who feel like open wounds, the girls who had their labels misread and were filled with salt and cyanide rather than sugar and spice?" That one hit my trans woman ass like a T R U C K

@User-cf1ru Жыл бұрын

You will never know what it’s like to be a woman. Stfu

@namangoy Жыл бұрын

Me too 😭

@esotericgrl Жыл бұрын

i got chills in a good way 😭

@EL-rp8hq Жыл бұрын

long rant, sorry, i had just ended a close friendship with a femcel (modern tiktok femcel) and this was insanely cathartic and really really identified what i saw and put it into words. also you're literally such an enby icon, that black swan outfit was drop dead stunning!! and the ask polly quote was so gentle and kind, it made me tear up real bad :'D when you talked about how poc didn't seem to exist in those communities, it really made something click for me (we''re both asians and she used to boast about how people would confuse her for a white girl). it also made me think about how (especially with social media and how easy it is to access "blueprints" for building yourself into a certain aesthetic) when you don't/can't exist in a certain aesthetic, you'll have to kill off the parts of yourself that don't fit in order to mold yourself into that very specific shape. and like you said so in the vid, how gender trangressive can you be when you're literally uphold and uplifting the standards that keep other girls down? i feel like the concept of a femcel is pretty interesting, the retaining and embracing feminity and pretty things while showing off that rage and hurt that you've suffered. but i feel like what really makes a femcel fail the vibe check is the lack of awareness and critical thinking. everything is "ironic" and "funny" but say something enough times and you'll start to believe in it, and the femcel is either ignoring that fact or is entirely unaware. reclaiming things is important, but if you're just slinging around slurs without understanding why or when or who it's appropriate for, then you're just saying slurs. i've also noticed a trend in femcels (at least ones i've met) where they hold men-hating competitions while simultaneously trying to gain as much male attention as possible (in a sort of honey trap way? venus fly trap?) but i feel like in doing so, they just promote competition among women instead of uplifting and solidarity (add that in with the need to be the most unique person in the room and it gets messy). and i definitely felt like its coping mechanism of some sort, trying to encourage her to find healthier alternatives felt like grasping at something that'd slip out of your hands each time you tried. there's this element of wallowing and hurt that is comfortable to be around because it's what you know best and it's hard to escape patterns. and when you're surrounded by other femcels only encourage that, its like quicksand. the glamourization of suffering is an ugly thing when it's taken uncritically and idk, it's a lot and i wish her all the best.

@RedRanunculus Жыл бұрын

Honestly your rant made me more at peace with myself and one of my ex-friends.

@zkkitty2436 Жыл бұрын

I'm glad that shaniya mentioned the transphobia in these spaces, bc the terf space online is adjacent to the femcel. man-hating from a place of genuine trauma, and getting completely drawn in as a vulnerable person because you feel you're finally being heard. meanwhile, you internalize these ideas and start hurting innocent people to try to compensate for or deflect the pain you feel onto someone you see as both an easy target and a "threat." it's horrific how fast you become radicalized, not in the fun sexy communist way.

@seabreeze4559 Жыл бұрын

Femcel is a 4chan op to shame women who don't want to sleep with them, especially virgin shaming. You refer to misandry.

@EL-rp8hq Жыл бұрын

@@zkkitty2436 exactly!!i know her behavior came from a place of neurodivergence and mental health issues piled on top of trauma, but the blatant hatred for hatred's sake felt like a hollow radicalization (especially when femcels keep playing like it's all ironic). where are you aiming this rage? where are you aiming this pain? who are you trying to hurt? what is the end goal? because it's funny??? it starts to become a toxic mudpuddle where you slip while trying to climb out, and people trying to drag you out are likely to slip in as well. and again, with the competition to be the most unique, the most fallen angel in the room, it really sets the femcel up to be hostile to other innocent people who are part of minorities. i feel like the ironic thing about the femcel community is how it provides a place to relate to and feel seen and validated for your experiences, but only for the people who fit the aesthetic. again (i'm sounding like a broken record haha), the "girlhood" of the femcel and the strict beauty standard and visuals definitely alienate trans girls and girls who had the experiences of hurt and misogyny and discrimination and trauma but simply don't fit the "look." it's like, there's a whole world of people out there just like you!! you just need to lift your head up beyond the perfect pink packaging. it circles back to the whole uniqueness or the need for one's suffering to be unique in particular. and (sorry this got wayy longer than i meant to) at the end of the day, the reason why i feel young girls and women (coming into adolescence or easing into adulthood) tend to gravitate towards the femcel is because it's a transitional time in life. it's like the ask polly quote (you are very young and learning how to live). there's this need for individual identity and validation and to be been, but the outlet is just so toxic.

@2lahesse Жыл бұрын

All of this!! I think the lana fixation is so emblematic. Even though she’s focused on pain, longing, lost love etc there is always a man involved somewhere, either hurting her, leaving her, or making her happy! “Love you more than those bitches before” is an iconic line for femcels for a reason. In the end they’re finding their reason for existence in their superiority to other women, superior ability to access this ‘locked’ part of relationships (het or not). So frustrating to be close to someone with that mindset. I’m sorry about your friend breakup

@RaetheSaint Жыл бұрын

That adultification study changed the way I think about intersectionality and I’ve been using it in the feminism class I’m teaching. This was such a great video and the aesthetics were the cherry on top ☺️

@isabellac8004 Жыл бұрын

“The only place that feels receptive to your pain is the one that actively encourages it because at least they acknowledge it’s there” is such and astute observation and resonated so fucking hard. Made me really sad too

@Thepriestessdeath Жыл бұрын

My issue with tumblr is I’ve asked them to take down an old blog several times that has so much sensitive information and copyrights violation and personal photos of me and other people and they just won’t….even though I’ve explained all of this…and so it’s really messed up to me how so many of us used it as a safe space but the company itself doesn’t value individual’s safety…I feel for younger people who might overshare etc and I hope everyone is mindful of what they put out there…cuz I know others have been hurt by tumblr so needed to add…

@Thepriestessdeath Жыл бұрын

Idk if you will see this but I have so much love for you and your black swan/white swan look was amazing 💕

@fey0217 Жыл бұрын

tumblr is very notorious for not listening to their userbases when they ask them to take down harmful accounts. yet a lot of the times they will take down accounts mass-reported by terfs for instance if someone criticized them. tumblr cares about protecting those who do wrong and not those who are victims on that site. the management of that website is not good at all.

@jasmine1926 Жыл бұрын

I was friends with the angsty, sad, Lana Del Ray lovers in high school. I'm really glad my mom made sure to tell me that I was probably feeling all types of feelings because lack of life experience + hormones. She always shared her own Black girl teenage angst with me. It helped me communicate those feelings and put things in perspective....Still came out kind of jaded and went to prom with an out, goth lesbian (at a time when that was NOT normal/acceptable) lol. But I was well adjusted and had a decent idea of when I was probably getting worked up over something that I wouldn't care about in, like, 3 years.

@louiseb6551 Жыл бұрын

This is good point, and being a woman in my thirties who can absolutely relate to this phase of growing up i can now see how much it must just be a natural part of growing up, i too deemed myself broken then and still feel the remnants to this day but now knowing this is continuing is probably going to change my view on myself having context for that experience and now seeing how the internet and social circles is compounding that experience into even more dangerous toxicity worries me… it seems we all just needed guidance and to share the experience s with an older woman who would see and share the context from experience. Iv not seen the innerlives of other teens untill now, it feels late to realise this, this space needs to incorporate all ages all peoples to create something more possitive… if i find myself with young girls in my life i’ll be sure now to share the darker feelings of my teenage hood with them so they don’t drown in a group of like minded unlead teenagers with hormones and lack of experience. you’d mother was right it absolutely must be those things. If felt like the whole world back then.

@jasmine1926 Жыл бұрын

@@louiseb6551 you’re right. My grandma also shared her teenage angst with me as well. Her first breakup resulted in her crying to “Misty Blue” for days as she dealt with abuse, racism, and colorism in the deep south. They never dismissed my pain, just told me to understand it was all so much scarier and impactful because I lived so little life. Hormones also meant my mood swings could be wide. Understanding that a mix of previous experience, bodily chemicals, and legitimate emotional response was typically at play kept me from catastrophizing and helps me cope even now that I’m in my 30’s. It also helped me understand that sometimes you need medication for the chemicals in your body. All of this is why I survived and I agree that we need intergenerational support to get through things.

@bootifulbarbie2203 Жыл бұрын

As somebody with a very short attention span, I'm impressed by how easy it is to get immersed into your content. I love you and your videos soo much!!! 😍😍

@Scififan926 Жыл бұрын

33:28 I'm a black trans man, socialized as a woman in an environment occupied by mostly white people. And oh god, these phrases just took me back, specially the blushing thing, it was such a big deal for me that I questioned *myself* if I was capable of blushing. There is definetly a point in which dark skin makes so people perceive you as inherently more masculine and brute, I used to think of myself as a 'tomboy' growing up even before I started transitioning, but looking back now it was mostly bc of how other people perceived me. I was never too masculine, I just wasn't hyper feminine, and I know it was related to race bc my white AFAB peers who were just like me or sometimes even more masculine were still seem as more feminine when compared to me. Hell, I'm a pretty effeminate guy and I'm still seem as more masculine than what I actually am by a lot of people.

@Spacebunnie777 4 ай бұрын

my partner died 2 days after last halloween (2023) i wish they were here today for so many reasons, they were a tortured soul, they lived through so many absolutely horrific experiences before they met me and we were building a humble and joy filled life together, we both had our issues but were working through them, making great progress. i dont want to mention the tragedy that took them away from this world but watching this video made me think about them, i wish they could have seen this, i have never really heard the term femcel before but they were definately into this kind of stuff, its increadibly sad how people become so isolated amongst so many others physically and digitally, and how that isolation damages people, some to the point of ultimate ruin, no matter how beautiful and amazing they are. Thank you for your amazing videos 💚

@doctordemon9324 Жыл бұрын

On a side note, thank you for wearing traditionally feminine clothing as an enby. I'm an enby myself, and I get so happy when I see other enbys that don't feel like they need to be portrayed as androgynous. I can finally say "Oh my god, they just like me for real" lol Edit: To most of the people replying, it's been nice that we've been able to have fairly productive conversations, regardless of whether we agree or not. It makes me hopeful that despite out differences we still share some common goals like destroying rigid gender roles and expectations, even if we go about it in very different ways.

@straberryshinigami15g97 Жыл бұрын

Are they enby?

@straberryshinigami15g97 Жыл бұрын

Where does it say they are nb?

@k8eee Жыл бұрын

They say it in the video and also in the description mention their pronouns

@DJSymphonie Жыл бұрын

@@straberryshinigami15g97 they say it in the video 21:45

@stitchess7894 Жыл бұрын

In the description of the video they state they use they/them pronouns.

@JerzCe73 Жыл бұрын

I was a girl when I thought I was in love with The Marquis Desade (80's internet non-existence)....I laugh at this now, because I am into adult consensual BDSM, but then it was Dark, Tragic and I saw his "Women" and "Girls" were empowered by their suffering and found pleasure in being "Owned" "Had" someone broken doll that only lives for their master(s)...I would write suicidal essays and poems about giving myself to death as a lover...Romantic drownings blah blah....My reality was filled with witnessing Domestic Violence and severe mental illness, so instead of finding help, I attributed my artistic temperament to these abuses.... I am better due to my scars when really they were wounds in desperate need of healing.

@angelaa7388 Жыл бұрын

When you are young you only know the experience of your own existence. Hindsight is 20/20. When I saw the movie Quills it rocked my world. Watching it now I still love it, but I can see clearly that the Marquis Desade never loved Kate Winslet's character, he only wanted to possess her virginity. As a young teen I did not pick that up at all. Just like I thought older guys were into me because I was sooooo mature for my age. Insert eyeroll here.

@mayrapakastin Жыл бұрын

I'm glad you're in a healthier place now!

@JerzCe73 Жыл бұрын

@@angelaa7388 OH MY GOODNESS Angela, exactly!!!! Its like those assholes have a handbook..."Oh you're mature for your age" "Oh you are the only one that gets me, I can't talk to anyone else like this" Blah Blah Bullshit LOL I agree about Quills, was his intrigue honest, or so self-serving that he just saw her as another vehicle to get what he wanted, like his wife.

@JerzCe73 Жыл бұрын

@@mayrapakastin Thank you Viivi

@EleiyaUmei Жыл бұрын

As an AFAB person who also suffered from anguish during their teenage years but never saw their experience through a gendered lense, I can relate yet feel so distant to Riot Girls and Femcels...

@margaret_adelle Жыл бұрын

I love the talk about how transgressions look different depending on who's transgressing. As an infertile woman, my femininity is always challenged.

@pixi3d3ath47 Жыл бұрын

I don’t have the same experience because I’m not infertile, but I notice just how creepy it is many guys in relationships immediately talk about children like childbirth in itself is just…obtainable or ideal for the women they project it onto. As if that’s all women are worth. Like we don’t have aspirations outside of having children. My last ex would constantly talk about children even though we were only 20 and in college, and I explained I didn’t know if I could have kids. I’m not certain to have infertility, but given my nutritional deficiencies and past with an ED it would be very difficult for me to consider having a child. As if childbirth itself isn’t a painful and scary experience, and as if every women is able to have it. People’s want for you to put out a mini version of yourself in the world completely trumps any actual practicality.

@Darkthestral1 Жыл бұрын

Being socialized as a girl when you're NB is so confusing. Frankly the way women are socialized in general is confusing to put it mildly Great video as always and from one stranger on the internet to another. I'm glad you made it passed 16

@zkkitty2436 Жыл бұрын

it is really confusing fs. also just wanted to lyk that NB is a term black activists use to refer to non-black poc, and they have requested that nonbinary people use a different term. the commonly accepted term is enby. wanted to lyk because I didn't pick up on that distinction myself for a while, but it is an important one to make

@OffOnATangent180 Жыл бұрын

@@zkkitty2436 AFAIK it’s fine to use n-b, n.b, or n*b, too! I’ve heard some n-b’s find “enby” infantilizing

@lovley_furby8400 Жыл бұрын

@@zkkitty2436 i feel NB is just an abbreviation and can have multiple meanings depending on context, peace and love

@PL-od8fc Жыл бұрын

youre not nonbinary because its not real, youre a woman who spends too much time on social media. you'll grow out of it

@02Minibeasts 8 ай бұрын

Ok but if i was giving birth and at the exact moment the baby came out, you looked me dead in the eye and said "slay", I would laugh so hard that I would instantly deliver a second baby which I had not yet even conceived.

@katiebailey3439 Жыл бұрын

I struggle with my own gender so I kind of just let myself ‘be’ a girl. But I do sometimes wonder if being lonely is a mindset I’m stuck in. I’m asexual and possibly on the aro spectrum, but I don’t want to be alone. I know you can be happy in an individual life, but I’d like a partner. At the same time, dating rockets my anxiety and terrifies me.

@user-pt1re4qp1r 10 ай бұрын

I apologise if I'm way off-base here, but as someone who thinks they're likely on the ace and aro spectrum as well, is this a separate want for companionship than what close friendship provides? If so, it may be helpful to look specifically for other ace people, as they'd be less likely to expect traditional expressions of sex and romance. If you've already graduated from tertiary education, a dating app might help, if you're currently in tertiary you'll probably be meeting a lot of new people anyway, and if you hang out with other queer people im sure theyd be happy to introduce you to their ace friends if they have any, and if you're in highschool none of this matters, you genuinely won't get anything out of dating when you're that young regardless.

@c4cezar_magz Жыл бұрын

does anyone know who did the little animated bit around the beginning? such lovely art

@Shanspeare Жыл бұрын

Cherryinferno on Instagram does all my channel art! So talented ❤

@c4cezar_magz Жыл бұрын

@@Shanspeare she's absolutely amazing!!! very glad ive now followed her :D

@elisazouza Жыл бұрын

I must admit i was on tumblr during that time too and experiencing bad mental health without any support and it did really affect me which is why im sad that sort of stuff is coming back around especially similar things that used to be on tumblr making its way to tiktok

@ChinemeremIbekwe Жыл бұрын

I think an example of how we unknowingly internalise tragedy as 'desireable' is when we assure ourselves of spectacular glowups after break ups. The messier and sadder the break up, the more glamourous the glow up should be. Though it could just be a way to cope. idk

@Morrigan-mj4ph Жыл бұрын

Great vid. I would really, really enjoy if you made a video essay about the backlash over She-Hulk. The feminism was not subtle and the tone wasn't always even, but as a woman who has experienced workplace sexual harrassment, I kind of enjoyed the technicolor parodies. A towering, invincible monster woman is such a vivid and hilarious metaphor for feminism. Some men do actively hate women who show assertiveness, competence and confidence. She-Hulk is an archetype which only really fits a certain portion of the female spectrum (not everyone wants such a competitive job) but these ladies exist. Contrary to popular belief, some are even heterosexual (yet like being rather in control in the bedroom!!) It wasn't a perfect show (the ending was off, even for a fourth wall breaking character), but I think it should become a campy cult classic of feminism. There is so much to deconstruct with this comic book character. Comic books are often technicolor metaphorical parodies of life. However, I have to admit that anyone who makes a vid on this subject (who is not entirely bashing it) will have a huge augmentation of nasty comments. For sure, very vitriolic comments would follow if anyone said anything remotely nice, intelligent or measured about it... At your own risk... This may be a bad suggestion!

@alexisw16 Жыл бұрын

as an autistic nonbinary trans guy, i can safely say that the experiences that these spaces often tout as a definitive experience of "girlhood" is so so narrow. I could never relate to the experiences of my peers growing up socialized as a girl, people didn't treat me the same (likely it was the autism and people's perception of me). It made it really hard to try to connect with others when I felt like I needed to. I also ended up on tumblr as a teen and before I'd realized I was trans, and the "sad girl" aesthetic absolutely reached me. It wasn't ever relatable, even though there was a lot of overlap with things I felt as a mentally ill teenager, but in all honesty the level of despair I'd see (and the sharing of self harm images?!) would disturb and concern me greatly. Idk, I'm a fully grown adult now and I see this kind of behaviour coming to prominence on apps like tik tok and i feel concerned again! People socialized as girls definitely need an outlet and a place where they feel heard and understood by peers, but so much of it devolves into a narrow and dangerous view of what that can mean, especially with the rise of transphobia and racism in this spaces YET AGAIN. Also your last look was killer, loved it. Great vid!

@actuallyimnotreallysureyet6360 Жыл бұрын

“auspicious non-binary trans guy” How to say you were groomed by the internet to internalize your misogyny.

@iElectrica Жыл бұрын

Felt this way too much as a fellow autistic transmasc nonbinary person.

@voidthing8373 Жыл бұрын

I don't comment on videos often, anxiety go brrr and all that- but I would like to just say as a long time watcher/listener I always have appreciated the immense care and effort you put into your content. I love listening to your voice whenever I draw, so I don't always get to see the incredible visuals you present alongside your extremely eloquent words, but regardless of whether Im watching or listening Im always left feeling in awe. I am not very good at putting my thoughts and feelings into words like you are, but I just hope to express how much I adore your thoughts and creations. You have always inspired me to think more in depth about certain topics and also have helped me recognize struggles I didn't even fully realize I had been suffering with, and help me put into words some of the thoughts I had never been able to express. I genuinely consider you one of my favorite creators, and I am so glad I came across you and your content! thank you for your dedication to creating thoughtful and beautiful videos, thank you for putting so much care and effort into every topic you cover, I hope to keep listening to your lovely words and thoughts for a long time to come.

@PL-od8fc Жыл бұрын

too anxious to comment on a video? thats the most pathetic thing i've ever written. i feel so bad for your generation, you guys don't know how to properly interact with others

@maskros434 11 ай бұрын

@@PL-od8fc what the actual fuck is wrong with u? they wrote such a beautiful comment and THATS the part you take from it?? like how hard can it be to just keep your mouth shut if something disgusting or detrimental is about to come out?

@dallasurr 5 ай бұрын

This is my first video of yours and the idea that anyone could see you as an angry ANYTHING is insane to me. You hit the nail on the head when you said racism makes you hallucinate, I can only view that through the lens of a trans person but I think transphobia makes people hallucinate in a similar way. Really great video.

@ThisOneCassie Жыл бұрын

going into this as a riot grrl enjoyer (and reluctantly the one and only mod of r/riotgrrrl) and someone who likes to laugh at femcels so.... this is gonna be good. (said in a very kind way ilyour videos) okay i just finished the video, and omg im obsessed as usual. something that i have seen while on tumblr has been just how sequesterd / closed, and small the curent femcel community, much like the terfs that are constantly passing around the same two dozen posts about hrrr drr trans people, the femcel community seems almost, cultlike in the amount of group think they all subscribve to and pass around.

@lucarin8191 Жыл бұрын

hi r/riotgrrrl mod

@ThisOneCassie Жыл бұрын

@@lucarin8191 hello random citizen!

@shakirashipslied9721 Жыл бұрын

Gurl not you being the only mod 💀

@brandimartin3783 Жыл бұрын

literally submitting my thesis on femcels in like a month lol 😭 love u shanspeare great video

@sapphic.flower Жыл бұрын

I heard the term femcel but I didn’t know what they were until now. Also, if I tried to make a femcel looking post about being transgender, gay, neurodivergent or Asian, it would look like satire lmao. Thinness, whiteness, and femininity is heavily romanticized in women and when the femcel community hinges on aestheticism, it doesn’t really make room for intersectionality. There doesn’t even seem to be space for feminism because there’s mysticism in being the “passive sad girl” that avoids actually calling out the patriarchy.

@alyssapinon9670 Жыл бұрын

Being a passive sad girl is a privilege only afforded to thin cishet white women and I really wish more women would acknowledge that rather than just dismiss it as us “attacking traditional femininity”. You don’t have to be a riot grrrl feminist to call out patriarchy. And you can still be soft and a feminist.

@sapphic.flower Жыл бұрын

@@alyssapinon9670 yeah exactly, like there isn't a required aesthetic to be feminist because that's not what it's about anyways. As long as you're pushing the message, then be whatever type of girl or femme that you like. Making a movement into an aesthetic at all is already diluting the message imo.

@alyssapinon9670 Жыл бұрын

@@sapphic.flower seeing people who think feminism is a one size fits all type deal makes me want to tear my hair out. And so do the anti feminists who use these types of people to represent the movement as a whole

@FassoliaPlaki Жыл бұрын

"Whichever gender is funniest at the moment - I'm gonna be that" Thank you for my new motto, I need it in big letters on my wall right now

@rebelkallus Жыл бұрын

im a trans guy but when i was younger and didnt realise that abt myself i was def a lana del rey tumblr "girl" and i honestly dont even know how to begin working through the complexity of that experience as a guy lmao. anyway fantastic vid as usual i enjoy your content so much!!!!

@magdilareina5805 Жыл бұрын

so happy to see this - I've never had the energy to dive beyond the surface of this topic, a shanspeare video is exactly what I need

@NanaPhe Жыл бұрын

I can’t explain how infatuated I am with your personality, editing style and overall creativity. Each time I watch your videos I crave even more!! Thank you for putting so much time & effort into these videos!

@clairerogers2411 Жыл бұрын

this community reminds me so much of my ex best friend and I's friendship, and the way we spiraled each other even deeper into mental illness and encouraged each other to self-harm and starve ourselves :,) I feel so bad for leaving her but I'm so much happier and actually healing now and it seems like she is doing better too

@5unnyb0t Жыл бұрын

It's hard to grow up having to navigate all the identities that were stamped onto you and what they meant; being judged by them, all the while not knowing why. The hurt that comes from not understanding why everything around you seemed so hostile, seemed like it was closing in. The painful conclusion that comes from it. Convinced that you really are the fault. It hurt like hell. SO much. But my experience, and how I'm breaking free from it and processing the pain? It's mine. It's not something that everyone else has or is ALLOWED to experience in some contexts. I feel like I could have gone down that dark path of just, putting other people down to feed my own suffering if I didn't force myself to confront my own ugliness or bitterness. I'm not saying that like I'm coming from a higher ground- I'm still very much growing. I hope everyone here realizes that however you process your pain is valid. I wish you so much luck and love. I'm gonna meet you all at the finish line someday too

@yasminealexandraaa Жыл бұрын

Everything you do is pure magic

@anastasiab1066 Жыл бұрын

I definitely have a lot of critiques of riotgrrrl but GOD it was so important to me when I was younger and trying to figure out my place in the world. Turns out the way to go was to reject being a girl at all but that phase of accepting my femininity at the time was really important for me to not grow to hate it altogether. I’ve moved more into HC and DM but I listen to bands like Capra so I can channel my teenage self lmao. At the same time as a white person ik that it was easy for me to place myself in that idea of a riotgrrrl, and in general a lot of alt communities have that issue, which is why I’m more into my local scene now instead of internet communities because there’s just more diversity, esp the area that I live in.

@htcheeto420 Жыл бұрын

this ❤ I’ll be the first to agree my riot grrrl era at 14ish was kinda cringe but it allowed me to express my anger and rebellion in a creative and healthy way while dealing with issues like conversion therapy and abuse.

@kilboypwrhed 6 ай бұрын

You should check out oathbreaker

@anastasiab1066 6 ай бұрын

@@kilboypwrhed I love Oathbreaker! Got a shirt and CDs from them and everything haha

@kilboypwrhed 6 ай бұрын

@@anastasiab1066 oh hell yes!!!!! You are awesome!!!

@justsomeferalminor Жыл бұрын

"I'm very, very young and I'm still learning how to live" sums up very nicely how I've managed to come to terms with my identity, with myself and the expectations I put onto myself now during my childhood. When I was little I would force myself to be as different from the stereotypes of what a girl should be and to be as mature as possible because I was taught that acting like a child was annoying and a bother and I viewed the rebellious teenager archetype as deliberately going against their parents, and thus immoral. Now at fourteen I've come to the realization the "rebelion" is the discovery of one's own identity that unavoidably will clash at some points with the parents and that is necessary for healthy development, and learned that making mistakes, learning, being childish and stupid and reckless is my right. I must try to be a good person, but I have a right to my imperfections. I have to be a good person, not an adult who has their shit together. And I'm very happy now as a result.

@AchiorJacobs 5 ай бұрын

“This is not a new debate.” Yep. I was a messed up punk college girl in the late 70s / early 80s, and I resonate with much of this, especially the last 5 min or so. Sending my love to you across the generations. Thank you for making these. ❤

@hysteric-and-hysterical Жыл бұрын

The beginning and end being tied together almost brought a tear to my eye! Beautifully produced and impactful!

@manic_girl 8 ай бұрын

As a white AFAB person who has tried to unlearn a lot of the hateful and ignorant stuff I did in my teens, I have to give a heartfelt thank you for this video. When it first came out it helped me realize that a lot of the femcel adjacent communities I was in didn’t make space for people who didn’t look like me. And while I may hold progressive views, I can always be more conscientious of intersectionality in the social media I interact with. I am allowed to be publicly and unapologetically mentally ill, not everyone is given that grace. Revisiting this video made me realize how happy I am to not be in those circles anymore. Hats off to the thoughtful commentary and costume design as always, Shan. As a fellow bipolar person I am so thankful you made it past 16 with me.

@dirtydove Жыл бұрын

Please teach us daddy Shanspeare. You fucking rock. We have a Shakespeare bust at our college library. One day, in my sleepy state, I pointed at it and said, "oh that's Shanspeare" The librarian just said, "uh huh" and nodded. In my defense he was wearing a fabulous hat. The students are allowed to change his hat from a basket.

@jn1211 Жыл бұрын

speaking of being alone + smoking is gross, I reached a point in my life where I just could not force myself to go into another persons house if they were a smoker [inside their house]ever again. I couldn't invite people over because I'm disabled, and I didn't have the rights most adults take for granted, so i just stopped talking to certain people because I didn't know how to say I was completely grossed out by their smoking and there wasn't any way to fix it because even if they refrain from smoking while I'm there, it's still going to be covering every surface and lingering in the air for hours after. the headaches and gross feelings and needing to completely change my clothes plus have a shower everytime I hung out for an hour at their house just wasn't good math. [chain smokers are awful when they group together. one smoke gets lit, a half dozen will be lit up shortly thereafter] *EDITED FOR FRAGILITY

@Itiswhatitismydude Жыл бұрын

@@spaceboy.digitallmao yeah the disabled person is the bad person and not the smokers that refuse to not smoke near them. Nice ableism my friend

@gibsonn2018 Жыл бұрын

@Spaceboy Digital If it don’t apply let it fly. Otherwise hit dogs will holler lol

@kallamarsspouse Жыл бұрын

@Spaceboy Digital Smoking is glorified self harm. Nobody is obligated to accept that. 💀💀

@jn1211 Жыл бұрын

@Spaceboy Digital you might want to seek help

@jn1211 Жыл бұрын

being disabled meant i wasn't paying rent, therefore i literally didn't have the tenant rights you take for granted as a full grown adult. if i wanted to have guests over, I needed to get permission first. plain and simple that's fucking humiliating and it was a shitty thing my mom put on me and it isolated me in a way that I wasn't going to go into on a simple youtube comment but here the fuck we are!!. I couldn't figure out how to fix this situation to hang out with people I genuinely liked, so I drifted away. not sure how you read a wildly different accounting but I really really hope you can get the help you need.

@charliebeaux4059 Жыл бұрын

I know you're talking about specifically *black* girls but I wonder how that might apply to other POC people. I say this because as a Mexican person, with the diversity there is in Latinx families, I would be perceived as mestizo (if having a lighter tone than average) and my young sister would be perceived as white. And in my family, even if we were three years apart, I did became subject to adultification that I didn't see her go through. I was perceived as being more adult, responsible and mature (and my mother's mother and psychologist at like 6) and my sister was taken care of as if she was small, dainty and in need of constant care. This attitude is still going on even if we're like 21 and 23 at a very similar stage in life. I'm pretty sure there is a lot of factors that caused this, starting with me being the eldest and having adhd (which led my mom to basically hate me and treat me different). But I wonder how much of this suspected adultification of not only black children but POC children played a role in that. Now... I could be completely wrong and I have heard a lot of, especially latinx-black creators complain that other communities keep stealing their theories and words and I'm not sure if this is just me doing that.😅 Feel free to correct me and educate me. ❤️

@chromerotica 11 ай бұрын

i was DEEPLY into the femcel tiktok community and i could feel myself getting worse. like, horribly worse. as someone else put it, its like picking at a scab, oddly satisfying while you mutilate yourself. it was so bad!!! i couldn't stand being with myself or even around people who cared about me.

@kier2621 Жыл бұрын

listening this on my walk and getting catcalled… sweet sweet irony

@catfoodtaste Жыл бұрын

it's cool to see alana's involuntary celibacy project mentioned in a video like this. I hope alana is doing better now :(

@Julia-kn9es Жыл бұрын

Can I just say I love u. I love what you said about being a teenage girl and thinking your pain was your destiny. I worked in the adolescent unit of a psych hospital for a bit and a lot of the kids made some dark mental illness related jokes and I understood that they were just relating and letting off steam but so often I wanted to tell them (especially young girls) what ur going through right now is not the whole of your life and over identifying with the pain isn’t going to help you through it, it only makes it harder to let it go. I wish someone told me that when I was their age. Slightly different, but I also really like what you said about white womens rage being transgressive (freeing) where for a lot of woc and especially black women it is a stereotype and an expectation that traps them (the opposite of freeing). I love ur videos ❤️

@frankkang8994 Жыл бұрын

Among the video essayists of the modern space, you are the clearest successor to Contrapoints (which I hope you take as a compliment). Not just because of your penchant for dress ups and skits, or your use of internet cultural waypoints within philosophical and political concepts, but your ability to deliver your point without making the average/ “reasonable” listener feel judged. Even when you offer critique or acknowledge problematic behavior, your sincere desire to explain and inherent empathy-made clearer when you note your own “failings”-comes across in a way most essayists cannot replicate. SLAY QUEEN! (Sorry I couldn’t help myself)

@kyungsik Жыл бұрын

I’ve thought about this too and I agree. Some of the best essays on YT right here

@Pinkfairywife Жыл бұрын

Tumblr cradled my ED. I was empty sad and longing and no one was going to take it from me. It was very hard times I’m a bit bodied aging adult now and I’m trying to love whoever this person is

@emclaire7027 Жыл бұрын

TLDR; really good video (as always

@sammjaisais7135 Жыл бұрын

I wish scentbird would spread to other countries so I could use it 😔

@leavemeal0ne378 Жыл бұрын

mEE TOO

@deg8517 Жыл бұрын

as a general rule it is better not to buy anything that is advertised to you by youtube or youtubers because the vast majority of the products advertised here are garbage

@shelbybourque5278 Жыл бұрын

as someone who is apart of femcel and femcel adjacent communities (specifically more active in the poetry side of it), this video was very interesting to watch, i watch all your other videos and before going into this one i wasn't really sure what to expect but (although only halfway through at the time of posting this) everything you've said is definitely prevalent in the communities. it's very easy to try to defend myself and go on a "not me though" tangent, and although i have never actively shunned anyone from any part of these communities, upon looking at my own account i've realized that any photos i've shared that have people in them consist only of thin white women, which is partially my fault and also probably a little bit the fault of the amount of photos available that don't just consist of thin white women. i want to try harder to diversify my own account, and maybe upon doing so my peers will as well. many of my mutuals are from different backgrounds but that doesn't change the amount of pictures that are anything other than thin white women and i feel dissapointed that my peers aren't really represented in a community that they're such an active part of.

@NK-qw5vt Жыл бұрын

Your point about irony/post-irony reminded me of the concept of 'schroedinger's douchebag' (iirc?) where someone makes an offensive statement and decides whether it was sarcastic or ironic based on the reactions it gets.

@LittleMadameAnything Жыл бұрын

Thank you for speaking up. I come from a slavic family (1st generation immigrant child) and cultural narcissism is so common it’s heartbreaking. Hearing how they survived in the Soviet Union it makes sense that this was there way of surviving. But integrating this knowledge in a more healthy relationship with my family/relatives and myself??? Uff. Hard. I heard that trauma is genetically moved on, I def feel this as well. Would love to hear more insights from other Slavic immigrant children.

@PrincessLioness Жыл бұрын

Ngl I was hoping you would talk more about the traditional meaning of femcel as that’s definition I see the most. I’ve seen it thrown around a lot in predominantly black female spaces when it comes to the topic of black female desirability validation on tikok from younger black women.

@TheYoungKilljoy Жыл бұрын

I know right, all of these movements start just because a group of women feel a particular way, is a space for people who feel left out... And somehow, at the end they're always gentrified by some white American girls on the internet, and the support group turns into a braindead aesthetic.

@pistachiorainy1967 Жыл бұрын

1 - holy shit. the opening letter to cabbage girl was as good for my own personal development as like 3 years of therapy. 2 - this video (through a very heavy filter of my own experiences/biases) makes me think adolescent and post-adolescent "sad girl-ism" comes from the realization that sexism is real and it's going to either hold you back or make achieving things 100x harder. It sort of crops up around that time in life where you start to understand and see how the world works. Just a little theory... idk.

@caprisun98568 Жыл бұрын

"Femcels tend to scream about how different they are and sure, you can read this as ironic, but I question that. How different can you be while maintaining the status quo? How new and subversive are your actions when you're simply reinforcing historical exclusion?" Is no one gonna talk about how hard this line hits?

@cottoncatpersonal Жыл бұрын

I hate my autism not letting me know the difference between normalizing and glorifying, being mentally diverse and ill is awful

@cottoncatpersonal Жыл бұрын

Nvm the video helped a little bit

@elisazouza Жыл бұрын

YES YES!!!! i wanna make a commentary about the girlhood experience

@catharsis224 Жыл бұрын

When you said Rebecca from yoga at 46:13 I thought of one of my favorite shows - Crazy ex girlfriend. Cannot recommend it enough - so clever and comforting. If you ever wonder what to watch I can promise it will truly leave a mark on you.

@SDM-Zone Жыл бұрын

I remember looking at the female dating strategy and femcells subreddits. It was actually mostly women saying they are outrageously hot and wealthy and no man is worth their time unless he does the twelve ordeals of Hercules, all of which involve spending large amounts of money and like an irrationally fast and deep committment to their 2 week relationship by...getting them pregnant? Or other women arguing that getting pregnant ties a man to you, it gives the man too much power. Essentially them arguing back and forth which is the most "anti man" option so they could do that. And then I also saw about 10% of the time, women who are like unbearably mentally damaged and physically hurt like a happy wheels character saying that no man will ever love them because they don't have a lower torso and are dying of cancer at the age of 23. Those women were sad and yeah I can see why they'd be bitter. I hope some of them "got better" as much as you can in that situation. If you want to know what the female dating strategy was like from a female perspective, look up Emma Thorne's video on it. Theres a reason people thought it was wild.

@stop-- Жыл бұрын

I don’t know. I was big into hating on all the extremes of sexism and would regularly visit forums for these ideologies but I stopped paying attention to FDS pretty quickly. Probably because it didn’t seem that dangerous to me. Like, the women on there were absolutely insufferable and they were entitled and bratty, but it never really went beyond that. Like, I’ve seen people make FDS out to be the female counterpart to the incel movement but it’s not even close. It’s more akin to a female equivalent of the “successful alpha grindset” ideology from the manosphere. Which is undeniably sexist, shallow, and vile but it’s kind of one of those ideologies that takes care of itself in the sense that these people brag about being too good to date anybody, in which case I’d say good! They don’t deserve to be with anyone so I’m glad they’re willingly not going to “settle” for anyone so no one has to put up with them. All this to say, I never thought FDS was all that wild since it’s very self-contained and essentially the trash taking itself out. Especially comparing it to the many other forums I’d browse that would encourage violence.

@Matty002 Жыл бұрын

drinking more water is healthy, but getting off twitter is even healthier

@mulberry1320 9 ай бұрын

"I made it past 16 and didn't think I would, so... that has to count for something" I legit teared up... I'm a dysphoric transmasc enby with anxiety and depression that got so bad at one point that I think at 7-8th grades I was having bouts of paranoia and delusion. I didn't think I would live past 18 then. I turn 19 in a month.

@tripwire202 5 ай бұрын

:ery happy you exist and glad you're still here! Also trans masc and enby with a very strange depression and sleep deprivation induced paranoia/delusion thing that happened early on in my life. Don't know how I'm still here either. Hope you have a great day. Also: highly recommend looking up the timberdoodle bird and the sea sheep. Amazing creatures.

@mulberry1320 5 ай бұрын

@@tripwire202 thank you so much for the kindness and im so glad you're still here as well! I already know about the sea sheep i love those little fellas! I just looked up timberdoodle birds and oh my god they're adorable!!! And i recommend you look up black footed cats and snow leopards

@itspetrabetches7815 Жыл бұрын

Can we all appreciate the amount of hard work she puts behind these videos? I mean the content , the act, everything! (more power to you!)

@sii479 Жыл бұрын

You really have an analytical ability, a sense of humor and an eye for fantastic aesthetics that make your videos a cut above the rest

@queenofhorror29 10 ай бұрын

I feel like femcels are very similar to incels but also different at the same time. Both often exclude other races and marginalized groups and have an unhealthy obsession with attractiveness and wallowing in their misery. The biggest difference is how they express it. For the femcels I noticed that the rage and bitterness they feel is more directed towards themselves, self destructive and dangerous towards themselves. Whereas the incels direct their anger and bitterness towards others, which leads to multiple cases of violence and murder. This makes sense due to how society expects men and women to be. I find it really interesting that the incels claim that femcels don’t actually exist because “females” have it on “easy mode” when that’s not the case, they’re just not open minded to believe that women are oppressed and have struggles, they’re just different and can’t relate to our experiences.

@malirious 7 ай бұрын

12:35 I was shocked to hear you have bipolar disorder. I've felt a sort of kinship with people who are bipolar or have borderline personality disorder (yes I know they're 2 very different things) despite, to my knowledge, having neither. As far as I know, I'm just a weird autistic kid. I'm not sure where I was going with this comment. I just feel a little less alone in the world to know that someone who a) looks as put together as you and b) is an absolute master of their craft struggles a lot too. It means a lot. I know this video is a little old, Shan, but thank you.