Also, I know you prefaced the video by saying you would be saying his name "weird", but in an interview he quite literally instructed Americans to pronounce it exactly as you did, so nobody should have anything to complain about!

Took the quiz! I wish there was an option for those who are more into wine to have more questions that were wine specific. Don't get me wrong I love how accessible they are, but I'd like more customization. Got the same recs as you!

Loved this video! I swear Humbert is the most evil villain in the history of fictional villains. Yet somehow it flies over a shocking amount of people's heads! Also you look so pretty! I love the outfit and hair and makeup!

My matches included Rose which is by far my favorite wine besides sweet red. 🥰👌🏾💜

14:56 I heard somewhere that some kids that experience abuse from pdf files don't shower in order to repulse their abuser into not wanting to take advantage of them/r-pe them. I think Dolores wanted to illicit disgust in Humbert Humbert in order to keep distance between them and her to not get r-ped by him.

Yes, Nabokov was horrified that people didn’t understand what a pretentious liar pdf file Humbert was.

Nabokov makes it 100% clear through his writing that Humbert is a vile lying liar high on his own narcissism as he horrendously abuses and SAs Dolores, it's terrifying how people can read the whole book and miss out on that. Edit: and seeing it so clearly depicted in text felt really healing and validating. I have thankfully never suffered sexual abuse as a kid, just harassment from old creeps and the same kind of narcissim as Humbert's from my parents in non-sexually. Nothing was ever their fault, they had no responsibilities for their emotions while I had all the responsibility for their emotions and everything was always my fault and "I made them do it" and if it happened then I deserved it while they deserved nothing bad and acted like martyrs sometimes.

​@@Call-me-Al yes exactly!!! That's what I came down here to say! The author was so upset. He said he thought he didn't have to explicitly state Humbert was evil! He said it was so obvious he is shocked how Delores was treated as anything other than an innocent victim. I agree! Humbert literally says he plans to get Delores pregnant than have kids with his daughter and get her pregnant etc so he would always have a young girl whenever the first one gets too old! Like how is that not the most evil thing a villain has EVER, in the history of fiction, planned to do. If he had said he planned to take over the world instead I guess that would make it more clear for the low 1... Q... people. 🙄

​@@WhitneyDahlinIt's so vomit inducing how he had to say that the man who wanted to have children with his own daughter was a villain. Like yeah, I expect the fact that he groomed and manipulated a child to pass straight over their creepy heads, but the fact that he literally wanted to impregnate his daughter didn't tip them off???

​@@essies4294I'm sorry, but pdf file 😂

Right!?

I think it's an accidental glimpse into a cultural male perspective (or at least the Hollywood male perspective). Brooke Shield's story immediately comes to mind when I think of mainstream media and Dolores-- the child sexualized by the predatory (overwhelmingly male) gaze and many viewers don't pause to consider the issue because the setup of the whole thing places the predatory gaze as our screen surrogate, directing our own gaze. We have to be able to climb out of that gaze and not get swept along with it. Not for nothing, it seems like mostly men/people with internalized patriarchal beliefs have trouble stepping away from their problematic screen surrogate

Mainstream= Malestream

Pervs: I was seduced by a child. Sane people: You, a grown adult with the physical, financial, mental, and emotional strength and maturity somehow couldn't resist a child.

‼️Dude the author was so upset. He said he thought he didn't have to explicitly state Humbert was evil! He said it was so obvious he is shocked how Delores was treated as anything other than an innocent victim. I agree! Humbert literally says he plans to get Delores pregnant than have kids with his daughter and get her pregnant etc so he would always have a young girl whenever the first one gets too old! Like how is that not the most evil thing a villain has EVER in the history of fiction planned to do. If he had said he planned to take over the world instead I guess that would make it more clear for the low 1... Q... people. 🙄

Yeah. It's usually always bigots who are into the sexual underage Lolita stuff. It's gross. Then they claim trans people are gross, like lloook in the mirror.

Nabokov had requested the book covers to never feature girls... Well we know how that turned out...

This so needed to be heard they are missing the point of the whole damn book!! And what also needs to be talked about is the real beef between the old generations and the new generations. We have all did the same stuff as kids and now teens are getting shamed like never before. At least twice a month you will see older generations make jokes about young generations. Mainly about us not being able to simply carry water to the kitchen the most dumbest stuff. Yet they claim they are more matuer than 2000s kids. I get I have seen disrepectful kids on social media but if there was social media back then for older generations there will be the same amount of disrespectful kids in the older generations when they were small. I now feel like as a 16 year old I can stand on my own two feet and say I feel like the older generation of women are jealous of the new younger generations of teens for our age and our youth. Pls let me explain and let me know if it's even a bit accurate. I've seen so many 30 year old women wearing stuff that meant for 12 year olds and down to wear. And they wear it in a sexual manner if you search lingerie you are bound to walk into school girl uniforms. I also see couples on all social media using "cute" voices to there boyfriends and husbands. And you have to short because i feel like i can protect you more excuses is sooo old. I know it's because she looks like and is built like a minor. oh and If your tall you have to be flat-chested so you can at least feel like a minor. I wonder were all the real women went. And why so menay of adults still try to find sneaky ways to be pedos with out being called one. Because the famous line of "she is 18 so it shouldn't matter". He should love you for you and not what you have to pretend to be and get mad when you aren't what he wants anymore. That why they mostly cheat with younger women. I'm just scared that at some point the men are gonna get sick of the fake kid look that is every where (or in other words the cute look)and want the real thing.

now it's an aesthetic... EW

​@@Ur_mindfuldiscipl3 I don't think there's anything wrong with it being an aesthetic. People dress in historical fashions that doesn't mean they have historical values.

It hurts how true this is

"Straight from the horses mouth" too, that forward by the writer. My interpretation is that he wanted to write the story as commentary for that very thing that can happen, an example of it.

lolicon community basically

@@janetestherina7169 “it’s a fictional character not a real child” okay bro what do you find so appealing about the fictional character who has the proportions, voice, and behavior of real children?🤨

​@@_kaleidonot to mention the diagnostic criteria for pedophilia includes fantasies of children!!

Humpert ability to rationalize every horrible thing he ever did is so scary

I have the same understanding of it, with the addition of being written by a very courageous man who was willing to go to *very* dark and extremely uncomfortable places to shed light on a serious, serious societal problem.

@@RexytheRexy I’m not completely sure but I heard that the author of the book was actually sexually abused as a child. But again, not %100 on that fact but if it is true that can tell you more about the book’s intentions. I just think he wrote it to try to shed light on how horrible and disgusting the thought process is of these creeps and he purposely didn’t put an actual girl on the original book cover so it wouldn’t be seen as condoning the sexualization of young girls , but now people use it to sexualize kids which he didn’t want so

honestly i can’t imagine reading lolita and thinking humbert was ever meant to be glamorized-both from people who find his relationship to dolores romantic or think nabokov agrees with his actions. it’s shown pretty much every 5 sentences that he has impaired reasoning and has to jump in circles to justify his behavior, which he knows is wrong. it’s kind of like my dark vanessa (vanessa’s pov) where the constant absurd defense of the perpetrator shows how the victim feels about the situation-tied between thinking it’s ok vs being scared to leave. i think that’s why many CSA survivors identify with dolores and the book even if she’s not the narrator.

That’s how I did too! This book was written from Humbert’s eyes, not author’s

Ikr

LOVE Man Carrying Thing. He never misses, the absolute legend!

Especially after Lolita movies, even Lolita’s book publishers failed Lolita, specifically the Lolita book covers. The movies were supposed to be adaptations of Vladimir Nabokov’s novel Lolita, but they were instead made into an age gap fantasy. The movie producers failed Lolita. They barely showed Dolores (nicknamed Lolita) suffering, they made it seem like a “fun” relationship. Lolita turned into a sex symbol, even though she was an underage girl going through abuse. Most of the book covers try to make Lolita look “sexy” and while they’re trying to do that, they’re over-sexualizing an underage girl. The author of the book made it clear that he didn’t want any girls on the cover, he said “I want pure colors, melting clouds, accurately drawn details, a sunburst above a receding road with the light reflected in furrows and ruts after rain. And no girls.” This shows how the author understood the ways the story could be misinterpreted and wanted the prevent the risk of the image of Lolita being sexualized or represented in a physical way. Vladimir Nabokov (the author of Lolita) knew what kind of story he was writing: an ugly, disturbing story meant to serious discussions of difficult subject matter. It's not a romance or an erotic thriller or anything close to the sort. It’s a shame publishers don’t care about the author’s intentions.

The only, ONLY(!!) way I can reconcile with that decision is that the girl on the cover depicts how *Humbert* perceives Dolores, in his own eyes. It's his own twisted perspective of her that he is projecting throughout the story.

The absolute legend, he never misses!

wtf, if the male teachers can get distracted by *children* wearing shorts then they shouldn't be in the school in the first place.

@@berrysuper5237sadly, my younger sister was forced to go home and change as her t shirt revealed one of her shoulders and her middle aged male teacher had complained that it was distracting him. She was eleven years old at the time.

@StrangerBillie 🤮

​@@StrangerBilliewhat?? Ew that's horrible 😭

Exactly! It makes me think, maybe the readers who find it “disgusting” are the ones, who immediately sexualise young girls in their mind? I’m reading the book currently and I admit, it is weird, but when you’re into the book, you notice how well written and how both beautiful and sad worlds collide.

People have a tendency to see media (as a whole) as being entertainment, and if it's entertainment, you can't possibly be creating something to disgust an audience. Even horror media is entertainment - it's a place to enjoy being scared because you're not actually in danger. That's my theory of it, anyway. They miss the fact that media is art, and art exists to ignite the whole spectrum of human emotion, not just the fun ones.

i still hate it

@@straberryshinigami15g97you missed the point of the whole video

@@straberryshinigami15g97I hate the way that pop culture has romanticised Lolita and turned her into some sultry seductress, instead of realising that Humbert Humbert is obviously an extremely unreliable narrator as he is a literal pedophile and so he’s seeing a normal, pretty twelve year old girl as sexy. She is not actually sexy, of course she’s not, she’s twelve. But, the book itself is very intelligent and thought-provoking. The whole unreliable narrator thing only further adds to that

Then they completely ignore people who romanticize and hold up serial killers and listen to podcast about them and find real life videos, audio, and pictures of victims “entertaining” this disconnect is insane! Like if you like a horror movie or movie with a morally grey character then you’re a creep but listening to a podcast about a very RECENT murder for entertainment every night and watching videos of the day it happened is somehow just innocent and normal. Even worse they say it’s “educational” when literally most cases they talk about there was little to nothing the victims could have done differently. People often get more mad about fiction characters and events than real life ones

P.S AND PEOPLE WHO S3XULIZE IT NEED THERAPY

Oh come on - next you are going to say that Joker & Harley are toxic! /s

It even says that on the back of the book! The book is a tragedy, like in most tragedies, every character by the end of the book dies. It’s also a tragedy because the movie adaptations failed Lolita. Instead of being an adaptation of the novel, it was made into an age gap fantasy, which was the opposite of the author’s intention. The movies barely showed Dolores (nicknamed Lolita) suffering, they made it seem like a “fun” relationship. Lolita turned into a sex symbol, even though she was an underage girl going through abuse. Especially after the movies, the book publishers also failed Lolita. Most of the book covers try to make Lolita look “sexy” and while they’re trying to do that, they’re over-sexualizing an underage girl. The author of the book made it clear that he didn’t want any girls on the cover, he said “I want pure colors, melting clouds, accurately drawn details, a sunburst above a receding road with the light reflected in furrows and ruts after rain. And no girls.” This shows how the author understood the ways the story could be misinterpreted and wanted the prevent the risk of the image of Lolita being sexualized or represented in a physical way. Vladimir Nabokov (the author of Lolita) knew what kind of story he was writing: an ugly, disturbing story meant to serious discussions of difficult subject matter. It's not a romance or an erotic thriller or anything close to the sort. It’s a shame publishers don’t care about the author’s intentions.

So common and profitable, that they literally made a movie that completely twisted the message of this book that was anti-creep to be pro-creep so it'd be profitable. The irony

I was thinking of reading it for awhile, now. Should I check my library or go for an ebook version?

I WATCHED Lolita (1997) at age 11... Safe to say I'm scarred

​@@princesskittygvI recommend "Annotated Lolita" if the original book is too hard for you.

Jamie Loftus does great work.

Well, it is disgusting in that the main character is gross and horrible. But I get what you're trying to say.

yes the lolita podcast is a must listen!!!!!!

It’s excellent and I’ve relistened multiple times.

How is a book about a pedo obsessing over a 12 year old little girl and moving into her home and getting with her mother to try and assault her and be close to her NOT disgusting? Are you okay in the head??

beautifully said.

I really wish people wouldn't be so indulgent about reading Lolita. I can't speak for all SA victims, but to me, I wish at least one person in my life had read the book, and was able to see how Humbert Humbert's subtly wicked actions and behaviors mimicked some of the people around them. Maybe then I wouldn't have been groomed at the age of 7 and then r@ped when I was 8 years old.

​@@andrew-song I'm sooooo sorry that happened to you.💔 You matter & you're not alone. Hugest hugs 🫂& massive love 💞from this Canadian ptsd person.

and the other side of that is that even for people who never went through what Dolores did, it is still a very important and urgent discussion in our society. People who say it should be a banned book dont seem to realize that people who prey on kids/teens have been preying on them way before this book was ever written! The book was supposed to make people confront the awful reality of our societies and how we leave our kids vulnerable and even go as far as putting them in harm's way by never talking about abuse with them, by welcoming the Humberts of the world into our lifes and being charmed by their words, their status or wathever (like some readers apparently did). all because we choose to stay ignorant, we choose to be blind to a certain reality because it is too disgusting/too awful to us. as if choosing to pretend is isnt real was enough to make it go away. Worst of all, the Humberts out there know ignorance and silence are their greatests allies, so is better to them lolita keep being misinterpreted and banned anyways. better waste time discussing if we should be reading the book than discussing the themes of the book and getting right into what really matters, right?

Exactly. Same effect as with those wanting to ban sex ed: victims no longer have the language or can identify what happened when they try to ask for help.

Lolita fashion was named after the book because it was a rebellion against creepy men looking at teenage them in a sexualized creepy way. That's the only link. They wanted to reclaim their bodies and reclaim fashion for themselves instead of the fashion adult men liked seeing them in.

Tru tru, while nymphet is based off of dolores haze's clothing but in the pop culture depiction of her, althought it is separate in the camps that want to be dolores cuz they see her as a tragic hero and people who wear it to reclaim their lost youth and to reclaim their own personhood. lolita is just over the top feminity away from the male gaze and patriarchal expectation and view of femininity and women and cuteness. Althought i hate how some people sexualised it tho like icky people in this case and esp women truly cant have anything.

Tragically, the Lolita fashion movement has also been sexualized.

@@moonlight4665 the same fringe way feet have, right? Please? As in ignorable weirdos that have no real impact on anything, right? I mean there are even people who sexualize balloons, and nobody pays attention to them.

@@moonlight4665 that ain't our fault. Creepy weirdos will sexualize anything

Yeah I first read this book when I was 15-16ish It's very possible for me to get groomed from this

IMO the first questionable scene is before that, when he licks her eye to get an eyelash out. To me, it’s a more realistic and subtle first attempt to break down boundaries. He has plausible deniability, he’s getting her used to him being close to her, he pushes what is acceptable, and he pushes past the expected boundary by licking the other eye.

He licked her eye in the book?! 😭@@sdebord8707

Yeah I remember in the comments of Doki Doki Discourse's Lolita vid I got the Japanese fashion style confused with the widespread misunderstanding of the book. I was corrected and felt really bad about it

Lolita fashion was actively created as a reaction against the sexualization of teens, so it wouldn't make sense to speak badly of it.

@@Call-me-Al absolutely!!!

SAME!!

I could not agree with you more. I wore a lot of gothic Lolita fashion was back in the day when Malice Mizer was popular amongst the gothic scene in Japan, Europe, and parts of the counter-culture in the U.S. (yes, I am old, decrepit Millennial). I know that singer and violinist, Manna, is kind of credited with the rise of visual Kei culture and the aesthetic in Japan. Gothic Lolita fashion actually made me feel confident in my body and I never viewed it as anything sexual or to be fetishized. In all honesty, it seen as a rebellion against sexualization of teens and gender norms. Lolita fashion is in no way connected to the novel as you previously mentioned.

Only for everyone to miss the message anyway and see it as "hot".

Meanwhile someone like Splatt Malsh is on record straightface advocating for child brides. I unfortunately don't think the novel will ever cease to be relevant. A faction of masculine boomer "cancel victimization" is absolutely them getting side eyed or shut down by younger men around them wanting nothing to do with the casual sexualization of teen girls many are way too OK with. Obligatory not all boomer men, but u get the idea. I'm just glad it's becoming less socially permissible to make gross comments about minors even if it's not happening fast enough.

@@moealiceforte I heard the books were actually better and they were anti-CSAM, only for the movies to fumble and be softcore CSAM instead.

@@moealiceforte That's what I heard, but I looked it up and there apparently were no books. Strange. Either way, terrible film.

@@moealiceforte there's videos explain that movie on here too and the outrage from it, what I remember is that the only bad part was the pictures they chose to put as the cover. other than that it's actually a good movie about what it's like to be a young girl.

Nabokov was a survivor of childhood SA, there are scenes from the book literally taken from his own experiences. I think it's very natural to find a sort of understanding and healing in the book.

It’s not rare for men to be victims, it’s just rare for women to be perpetrators

i hope this isn’t weird but as a fellow female survivor, i hope you are doing well. godspeed to you my friend ❤

I think you should read it I think it would bring you some comfort if you'd find it that way 💖

I think that’s one of the points that Nabokov was also trying to address in this book though. Humbert is meant to be “charming” in society and to make you realized pdf files are not just the “weirdos”/social outcasts that you imagine but can in fact be anyone around you. This in fact is why people end up misinterpreting the message of the book and blaming Dolores, and why in real life, they will also refuse to believe victims or they believe in what shanspeare was talking about in the video w “nymphets” in pop culture because they end up believing pdf file over victims because of their image/words. To your point though, I believe Nabokov was also against depicting Dolores on the cover and I also agree… Her image in the novel is extremely warped due to the narrator being biased and putting an image of her on the cover is wrong and untrue to how she actually is.

I like the cover that is an extreme closeup of a little girls face, completely neutral and blank expression. The girl also looks like she could be 8 or 9 years old.

Especially after Lolita movies, even Lolita’s book publishers failed Lolita, specifically the Lolita book covers. The movies were supposed to be adaptations of Vladimir Nabokov’s novel Lolita, but they were instead made into an age gap fantasy. The movie producers failed Lolita. They barely showed Dolores (nicknamed Lolita) suffering, they made it seem like a “fun” relationship. Lolita turned into a sex symbol, even though she was an underage girl going through abuse. Most of the book covers try to make Lolita look “sexy” and while they’re trying to do that, they’re over-sexualizing an underage girl. The author of the book made it clear that he didn’t want any girls on the cover, he said “I want pure colors, melting clouds, accurately drawn details, a sunburst above a receding road with the light reflected in furrows and ruts after rain. And no girls.” This shows how the author understood the ways the story could be misinterpreted and wanted the prevent the risk of the image of Lolita being sexualized or represented in a physical way. Vladimir Nabokov (the author of Lolita) knew what kind of story he was writing: an ugly, disturbing story meant to serious discussions of difficult subject matter. It's not a romance or an erotic thriller or anything close to the sort. It’s a shame publishers don’t care about the author’s intentions.

Nabakov was also very clever with the naming of Dolores and the book. Dolores’ name is sad and poetic. It’s Spanish and means sorrows, sorrowful and pain. Lolita is a word/name Humbert fabricated; it wasn’t used before the book was published. Humbert made up Lolita. By calling her Lolita, he erases her personhood and her pain in their interactions. He's hiding her pain within his sick fantasy. Dolores never calls herself “Lolita”. The name "Lolita" is used only by Humbert. Other characters refer to her as "Lo", "Lola", or "Dolly". Humbert calling her Lolita denies her subjectivity. Humbert also says, "Lo-lee-ta" Humbert tears Dolores' whole essence to shreds. He rips her apart and dehumanises her. In real life, it's part of how abusers can attack the victim; by renaming them, they're erasing their prior identity and exerting control over them.

One thing to remember is that her name is Dolores. Referring to her by Lolita kinda misses the point because she hated that nickname and it was the name her predator gave her. Not hating, I totally agree.

You don't even have to sense it. It's not subtext. She tells him directly that he ruined her life. He describes her as emotionally absent with him, and by the end even he realizes what he did was horribly wrong and calls it a tragedy.

@@alexba1ley The people who like this book for the wrong reasons probably read that part and thought "it's so tragic how Dolores betrayed him and put him to jail, what a tragic love story 😢😢😢😢 she was a deceitful nymphette after all"

I started reading lolita when I was 17 and I don't know for some reason it made me nauseous

@@himanipant7788 It's literally a story from the viewpoint of a predator, feelings of nausea are very normal.

I could definitely appreciate the tonal similarities and thematic alignments, however, seeing the beautiful writing of Nabokov followed by the awful writing (my opinion, obviously) of that other book that I couldn't be bothered to look up made me cringe.

I actually never knew You was an adaptation from a book! I only known it as a Netflix show and felt kinda weird about it because I had friends who felt it was so "romantic" for someone to love you so much that they'll stalk you??? it all makes sense now that it used to be a satirical book but damn I guess it got lost in translation

@@liliesstarlight That book had me fucked all the way up. I read it the year it came out and the author, in my opinion, did such an incredible job getting into the mind of this guy who is delusional and behaves like a monster but who does not see things that way at all... and telling it from his point of view was genius because there were moments where I forgot that this is all made up in his head and the reality is he is a dangerous monster stalking his prey and I would find myself rooting for him. Then I would remember.... I would recommend that book to anyone. I have never watched the show because I was sure the show could not do what the book did but I recommend the book to anyone.

I'm sorry you went through that. And i hope you can heal. You were failed by those around you and what happened was abhorrent. I hope you're doing ok now, and i wish you the best.

I agree, it is that sexualisation and misogyny some ppl prefer over reason.

your comment actually answered my question on how do people misunderstand that book when it was clearly stated in the beginning and Dolores herself stated it was abuse? yeah people just ignore it because I feel like it is pretty straightforward how disgusting Humbert is Jordan Theresa's video on Lolita actually talked about how she thinks Lolita should be filmed if people REALLY wanna adapt it again, show Dolores as maybe just a figure. an idea. a piece of clothing, a bow or something. like never actually show the person. I mean that is how Humbert sees her anyway

It's a world where there are countdowns to celebrities turning 18 so that everyone can bring out all the material they have had in secret that has freshly become legal to fawn over in public. Of course they think this book is a romance.

Even on the back of the book, it says Lolita isn’t a love story. The book is a tragedy, like in most tragedies, every character by the end of the book dies. It’s also a tragedy because the movie adaptations failed Lolita. Instead of being an adaptation of the novel, it was made into an age gap fantasy, which was the opposite of the author’s intention. The movies barely showed Dolores (nicknamed Lolita) suffering, they made it seem like a “fun” relationship. Lolita turned into a sex symbol, even though she was an underage girl going through abuse. Especially after the movies, the book publishers also failed Lolita. Most of the book covers try to make Lolita look “sexy” and while they’re trying to do that, they’re over-sexualizing an underage girl. The author of the book made it clear that he didn’t want any girls on the cover, he said “I want pure colors, melting clouds, accurately drawn details, a sunburst above a receding road with the light reflected in furrows and ruts after rain. And no girls.” This shows how the author understood the ways the story could be misinterpreted and wanted the prevent the risk of the image of Lolita being sexualized or represented in a physical way. Vladimir Nabokov (the author of Lolita) knew what kind of story he was writing: an ugly, disturbing story meant to serious discussions of difficult subject matter. It's not a romance or an erotic thriller or anything close to the sort. It’s a shame publishers don’t care about the author’s intentions.

i felt that way too while reading it. it’s an interesting undertone/undercurrent that, idk. helps me connect with her. i’ve never been assaulted as a young girl, but as a conventionally pretty girl, i relate so much with the near whiplash of the compliment of being attractive but the fact it has always come from old men from the time i was a small child. men get giddy and weirdly fascinated with pretty girls, like little girls. Literal random people telling my parents i’m gorgeous blah blah blah. it makes me sick. i couldn’t just exist as a kid. i had to be pretty to feel good enough. i feel like it left me pining for male attention, it groomed and shaped me and to only feel good enough if i was pretty enough. Culturally, i feel groomed. Society grooms little girls into messes like me who let old men give them compliments when i wish i told them to “f*ck off”. quite the double edged sword. like cool i’m pretty but like is that all men (and women who perpetuate these things) care for??? like can i walk outside and not feel like meat?? i’ve felt like meat since i was old enough to speak. it’s exhausting also sorry for long comment TLDR my girl faye is so real for this comment LOL

THANK YOU! Why are so many men okay with being portrayed like this? To just accept this idea that you're a slave to sex and a predator by nature is weird.

Fr 😭😭 men aren't "creatures" that can't control themsemves ffs

Thank you. Just reading the top goodreads reviews by men made me so uncomfortable. I'm glad to know there were men who didn't so grossly misunderstand the novel.

Pop culture really didn’t understand Lolita and failed Lolita. Such as the Lolita movies. The movies were supposed to be adaptations of Vladimir Nabokov’s novel Lolita, but they were instead made into an age gap fantasy. The movie producers failed Lolita. They barely showed Dolores (nicknamed Lolita) suffering, they made it seem like a “fun” relationship. The abuse was heavily romanticised, and made it seem like a love story. Which was the opposite of the author’s intention, even in the back of the book it says Lolita is not a love story. Lolita turned into a sex symbol, even though she was an underage girl going through abuse. Especially after Lolita movies, even Lolita’s book publishers failed Lolita, specifically the Lolita book covers. Most of the book covers try to make Lolita look “sexy” and while they’re trying to do that, they’re over-sexualizing an underage girl. The author of the book made it clear that he didn’t want any girls on the cover, he said “I want pure colors, melting clouds, accurately drawn details, a sunburst above a receding road with the light reflected in furrows and ruts after rain. And no girls.” This shows how the author understood the ways the story could be misinterpreted and wanted the prevent the risk of the image of Lolita being sexualized or represented in a physical way. Vladimir Nabokov (the author of Lolita) knew what kind of story he was writing: an ugly, disturbing story meant to serious discussions of difficult subject matter. It's not a romance or an erotic thriller or anything close to the sort. It’s a shame publishers don’t care about the author’s intentions.

Lolita isn't really graphic. It has no sexual content.

There are no sex scenes in the novels.

do you remember the book name? it sounds interesting!

I found it!... But it's not available in English 🙁 It's "Születésnap" by Szabó Magda Translated: "Birthday" by Magda Szabó It's in Hungarian, which I thought it might be. I was hoping maybe the book was a translation or had translations into other languages, but it doesn't. So if anyone knows Hungarian, I recommend it, otherwise I'm sorry I couldn't be more help.

Sounds better than the garbage Crush movie with Alicia Silverstone.

This also reminds me of how in Neon Genesis Evangelion, one of the main characters, Asuka, has a huge crush on her primary caretaker. There are several scenes where she tries to seduce him, to get him to see her as a “woman”, but every time Kaji doesn’t engage with it, and at one point firmly tells her that she’s still a child. I remember finding that scene in particular really moving when I first watched it, because a adult man refused to take advantage of and abuse a vulnerable child. Of course, NGE is also infamous for its sexualisation of it’s characters (including pre-teen/teen girls), and the debates around the purpose and intention of this (especially when a lot of the “waifu-ing” of the two female leads comes from merchandising, marketing, etc., because in the show both of them are subversions of their respective tropes, and their unresolved traumas define their characters and ultimately define them as distinctly not romantic interests for the main character - although i’m sure you could have a discussion at length about how things are presented visually versus the written text itself). But, I still think about Kaji a lot, and how he was the ONLY adult in that show who actually treated those children AS children, and seemed to have their best interests at heart.

@@kissszonjab Aszem láttam azt a könyvet egyszer a könyves boltban. Van egysejtésem hogy melyikben, de az a bolt már sajnálatos modon már bezárt.

It's actually a comic novel. Nabokov was a comic writer.

@@Tolstoy111Why can’t it be both?

emphasis on might

don’t quote me on this but i’m pretty sure lolita fashion comes from discourse surrounding the book… lolita is about a young girl being abused and losing her childhood by being sexualized, so as a response lolita fashion is reclaiming girlhood without it being sexualized . which is why it’s girly but also based on modest victorian clothing. i think the fashion came from a feminist mindset.

From what I can tell of the history I have access to (important to note that I do not speak Japanese myself and have to rely on others translations), we will probably never know for certain the intentions/context/origin of the word being used for the fashion. But imo the focus should be on how insistent the majority of the community has been on separating itself from the novel and everything related to it for decades.

Actually, lolita fashion comes from a full understanding of the book. It's not a secret that Japanese women and girls are infantalised, and the books release in Japan allowed the discourse to be brought to light. Lolita fashion is about women and girls (or anyone) taking the cuteness and young look for themselves and saying "I want to look like this for myself, not cus it attracts men." The fashion is empowering cus it's people taking back the innocence for themselves. The history is quite interesting to look at, I recommend looking for it yourself!

@@Rene-xi3so Wow, this is interesting background. Did not know that at all. The name still disturbs me because "Loli"/"lolita" cannot be divorced from Delores who is written as a character who is harmed, and that harm makes me flinch because it can't be undone or dressed up, but knowing this potential background does help me see Loli fashion differently. Thank you for sharing

Well it’s a comic novel as well.

But if you say comedy instead of social satire, it might be take wrong too.

Thank you for the recommendation!

I

​@@ShanspeareJamie interviews Lola during the podcast, as well! That's how I discovered Lola, under the name Miss Lola at the time.

He’s not unreliable so much as just monstrous.

Every once in awhile something comes along and describes a concept in such a way it leaves me suddenly feeling stripped bare of protective layers with an irrational urge to huddle. The feeling of being an animal of prey suddenly thrust into an open, exposed area without a crack to hide in and the world so dark anything could be about to reach for you. Perhaps it's the sudden opening of the unrealized or even the ripping of denial... But today it was this video and you. I mean this as a compliment though, in case you're worried. Those moments may be unsettling and even painful but they are moving nonetheless and help push me to expand my world. Every terrifying expanse I stumble into and make it back alive makes one more unnamed or unspoken fear into something that I know can be conquered. You shook me but I am pleased to be moving.

Ewwwww

DISGUSTING. They're literally talking about a child that hadn't even hit puberty when the novel started. Would they say the same thing about their younger sisters or their younger relatives? Absolutely disgusting.

@@ettaetta439 100% agree with you, I hate Lolita-inspired works that romantizise the whole ordeal.

I think the statute of limitations is pretty long on childhood S.A. you can also sue in civil court many years later in a case of abuse like this. Good luck, I hope you can find peace in your adult life

hey, i just wanted to say that i'm so, so sorry for what you've gone through. it is never too late to speak up about abuse, and you do not have to sit in silence and suffer in the same house with this man. at the very least, you will be free from that suffering of being in proximity with him in a couple of years. please, please stay safe, and the right people will believe and understand you. hang in there

It is not too late. I believe in you.

Hey, I hope you are doing well right now, and I really hope you can find a safe person in your life with whom you could share this. Abuse is an incredibly difficult thing to deal with and feeling alone with those feelings can be so isolating and painful. A lot of people here are suggesting you speak up, and I completely support you if you want to do that. I also want to tell you that if you just want to focus on getting through it for the next few years until you are able to move out/ find somewhere else to live, that is also completely valid. Whatever choice you choose to make, you are making it with the best knowledge of what you need/ can do. I wish you all the best and I hope that one day you will feel safe and loved.

Many have came forward about their childhood abuse in their adult life and have won their cases so don't lose hope. I'm sure you will be able to pull it off with a really good lawyer and your psychiatrist(s) but you have to start with talking about it with your future psychiatrist and make sure they specialize in childhood SA and abuse victims because it's important for the case to be won against him.

I don’t know how anyone can read the line “she had nowhere else to go” or the part about Dolores crying herself to sleep every night, after he r@pes her, and somehow still think it’s a love story. It’s very evident that Dolores is a victim of a p3do’s abuse.

Yep. People forget that artists and writers showing something in their art doesn’t mean they think it’s OK,

Japanese lolita fashion is actually from Harajuku and is based on Rococo and Victorican fashion, it isn't really based on the novel Edit: after looking at the wikipedia page for it, the fashion style seems to have been named after the novel but it focuses on cute outfits that don't fit the stereotype associated with the novel. it says it was created in protest to CSA

@@arandomteto I know that but my mom didn't. We had to explain that it wasn't the same

Same 😬

Same, except to be fair it's because I refuse to purchase a copy of this book with a girl or the words "love story" to describe it anywhere on the cover BECAUSE of my wish to respect the author's wishes and because his wishes were so crucial to trying to keep misinterpretation of his work to a minimum, and unfortunately because of how horribly the film adaptations have created such a blatant misinterpretation, it is difficult if not near impossible to find a copy with a plain cover that isn't $100

Speaking of death of the author, Nabokov's second most famous novel is called Pale Fire, and it's abouts the interpretation of art and literature and how divorced they can be from the writer's original meaning

@@kjarakravik4837 fascinating, thank you for pointing me towards new reading material.

I love the virgin suicides movie I haven’t read the book yet but I heard there was a lot of stuff left out of the movie from the book

@@Cupidsdestinyit’s sooo good!! I definitely would recommend it :)

Was your teacher Sting? :)