They need to make sure most things are ready before they get there. You don't wanna be setting the bed up while they're there, they need to be gently introduced into the home and be allowed some quiet time, not being badgered with questions and watching you set things up cause you didn't ask before lol.

I'm not a foster nor will I ever be. Nor am I or will I ever be a parent. But if my foster family was even 2% of this my life would have been completely different.

yes 1000% and it’s so sad. in a perfect world every child would have a detailed file, that shares their important background info, and things as simple as likes and interests. the foster system has a unique effect of dehumanizing children, almost sanitizing.

From my short amount of time working with forster care as a new foster mom it does seem like the system doesn't care. In reality they are picking these kids up and the parents won't allow the workers to learn more about the kid until that moment they are being placed. They don't have more information until after the kid has been placed and they try to move kids as little as possible. They will know only small amounts of their tramas but kids will be open up to the foster parents while in their care as they start to trust. That's why it's hard to know if their is physical abuse or sexual abuse or if it is just neglect. Neglect is visible but abusers try to hide the abuse and kids are conditioned to not speak up.

​@Kenzy Huggard social services/children and youth services are so overtaxed and underfunded, and policies that we have just don't work efficiently. It's a mess. My aunt was a social worker and couldn't do it. She felt terrible because she had to watch as kids slipped thru the cracks and be reunited with parents or guardians that they should've not been reunited with. It's tragic.

Yep. There is no one to blame except the abuser though. If the social worker goes out and there is a terrible situation, this what happens next.

@@jbhinson1 Well true on some level but that file needs to be passed from initial remover to the person placing the child no?

I know you most likely meant to say "former indigenous foster child" but I'm wheezing over "former indigenous child" Beautiful comment comment full of encouragement thank you for sharing

@@maliciousmedia6043same I’m indigenous but not former indigenous haha

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@@maliciousmedia6043she probably meant indigent, not indigenous

4 years? Those poor kids

@@CrustyUgg yes my poor kids... but I fought and I fought super hard for them. There were lessons I had to learn after first born was kidnapped by his father 9 years ago with an on going search for him still... I'm just glad that between the fosters and my recovery they have 4 very loving parents, we are a huge family together and I take pride knowing they have always had their best interest in mind via me and their dad or their fosters. We learned a lot as we had to and thankful to be where we are.

​@@paris-lovefromalaska8973 I'm proud of you for your journey and hope things are well with you and your family

@@felicitysj6246 thank you, I greatly appreciate this. ❤️

@@CrustyUgg excuse me? You Don’T sit in judgement on anyone for having their children being fostered , we don’t know the reason why So leave it out

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💙Poot baby.

I obviously can't speak for any Foster parent specifically, However, to imply that people don't care just because they have a different approach or they don't have as much means to be able to provide as much is not really fair. Cultural differences alone can cause a significantly different approach but that doesn't necessarily mean it's a bad thing for the children that they will be taking in. Then there's entry process is to becoming a Foster parent to consider, which some States requires an extremely high income compared to the average person which causes this lack of available homes in every community. Plus sometimes it's not in the best interest of the mental health of the child to stay in the immediate community if people who would support the parent in their bad choices (be it denial of how bad things were, providing things like drugs or weapons to the parent, or even blaming the child for causing the circumstances) are going to be talking to the child by way of being in the neighborhood. Obviously, that's not every situation or community, but it does happen and the impact that it has on a child's capacity to heal can be significant. I personally would have loved to have started fostering a year ago, however, the entry into fostering in my state would require doubling my income and even the masters degree that I'm working on would not provide that. This is why there are so many children in our community that end up being bused to other counties for Foster care homes because there's so few here with enough money per state guidelines to be eligible in spite of the fact that there are plenty of families that have the capacity and are just barely below the income barrier. Reasons for removal here are pretty consistent, and fosters get burnt out dealing with seeing the same kids brought back or with another foster because the parent(s) didn't really have their life in order to get custody returned to them. My state has moved to preferring family fostering and getting special exemption licensing, but that isn't always the best choice for the kids. There's no "good" fostering situation really because the need spells out that the children have endured life altering trauma. But the regulations need to be updated, more social workers hired, more community support programs developed, and guidelines improved to increase the number of available fosters. But that takes state legislatures to address problems and for governors to not brush aside all of the above when encouraging legislature to make improvements.

Feels like you were implying that being autistic is a “mental health defect”. It’s not. I understand your general sentiment but please leave being autistic out of it. I am autistic and I am here to tell you that it is just a different neurotype. Albert Einstein was autistic, Dan Akroid, and many actors and comedians and scientists and people that shape our world are autistic. There is nothing wrong with us. I understand that there is a lot of misinformation and that’s not your fault. My own mom was very misinformed once too. I understand your sentiment here was with good intentions and I appreciate you advocating for kids. I just want to offer this information in hopes of you not continuing to spread misinformation about the autistic neurotype. There are some kids that happen to be autistic that have developmental delays, there are also neurotypical kids with developmental delays. Autistic kids can have delays as well as be very ahead of other kids in other ways. For example I didn’t start walking until I was 2 years old, but I started talking in complete sentences and having conversations at 11 months. There are speech impairment disorders, such as apraxia. This many autistic kids happen to have apraxia, and on top of stimming for emotional regulation, many people wrongfully assume those kids are less competent, which they are not, or that all autistic people struggle with speech. Neither are true. I suggest talking with and listening to other autistic adults to learn more. People like me that actually have the neurotype and lived experience and can provide facts, not misinformation. When you’re talking about kids with severe traumas that have been through neglect and put into foster care, they are all going to experience some sort of delays, regression, etc due to the trauma and neglect. Whether or not they have an autistic neurotype has nothing to do with it. I hope you won’t misinterpret my tone here. I just want to educate and again I totally understand that there is so much misinformation and that’s not your fault. I hope you have a nice day and that my comment finds you well

the actor, Tony Curtis, would pee in his pants as a bizarre act of rebellion while staying at the orphanage house his parents dropped him and his little brother off at during the great depression.

@@KatieCottingham o can see them wanting a family with enough rooms and space and a big enough vehicle. So that has to do with income. But the state is supposed to provide financially unless it’s because their plan is always adoption incase the parents can’t have their children back.

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That's so sweet! "Foster the teens" (insta and tiktok) did the same (except the sterilization) 😊 her videos are great as well

She talked about a few things that might be relevant in this video: kzfaq.info/get/bejne/gpuAqtWQz5ewpWQ.html

That’s not necessarily so. Some children are just smaller, especially Hispanics and I don’t know about other ethnic groups. I’m short and my husband is short and one of my daughters has always been smaller. She measures on the very small end of the growth spectrum and she eats well.

So true!

“I’m custody”. But yes they should have said just that.

that would come with experience -- that is why the new foster parent did not ask that -- unfortunately, with neglected children , that would not be uncommon :-( (or those with certain disabilities)

be her friend, listen but don't make any promises.....if she is able to attend, invite her to social activities.

Sometimes it's during a holiday or after hours or later during the week during the work day, they don't have that information in front of them they're just trying to help the team find a place for the child as soon as possible. Children can wait for hours to find placements. They are working as fast as they can to get the child into a safe home environment so that they can stop being traumatized by the process of CPS taking them away. Sometimes some of the details are kind of personal to the parents and they might not always share them with you. Especially in cases where they found parents neglectful but for reasons where they grabbed onto straws.

@@amandamelvin89 ah I see I really don't know much about the foster system but I understand now thank you so much 🥰🥰

great point!

the parent is not giving age-appropriate care of the child.

@@emmib1388 lol, did you miss the video? The case worker said she doesn't have the information

@@emmib1388 if you remove children you should probably know why , just saying

@@kristingallo2158 they do know the specifics of each case. "General Neglect' is a classification. Often the person who making the call does not have the specifics -- they are not the one who removed the child from the home -- they are the one who finds a place for the child to go

@@emmib1388 lol the vid literally showed the case worker saying she didn't have the information. Pay attention

I think yes you can :)

each child is different