She abused her children, groomed them. & financially stole from them. If this was a man, he'd be in jail.

The guidance councellor should be fired

So a kid goes to the guidance councler and says how horrible it is at home....then the councler tells mom...then the kid is gone for 2 days....sounds like a fantastic councler there

Dad was a HERO to bad he didn't get full custody right from the start

Gotta love how the law inclined for this horrible woman. She has a personality problem, quit her job and never got a new one, stole the money from the kids, and the state didn't even bother to say "let's remove the kids from this woman". But if it was a man, in a nanosecond the kids would be remove and the father sued by the state. The dad is the real, but I mean a huge, MVP

The worst part of the story was the guidance counselor. Told the abuser then the kid was magically out of school for 2 days... pretty bad at their job no?

Men get screwed in divorce no matter how horrible the wife is. Looses the house, kids, and pays for everything for the ex wife. The court system is rigged against men. This is way too common.

“I do love my mom.” Why?

If there was ever a perfect example of why kids shouldn't always go with the mother in divorce this would be it. She definitely didn't care but was for sure a taker. And why couldn't they go with the father? He was doing well enough to support insane child support, college for both of his first kids, and an entire other family with seemingly no issue.

Just because someone, somewhere is doing worse than you doesn't mean that you have to put up with a horrible existence. Sure she didn't really have a choice at 8 but when you're old enough to make a change, make that change.

And some how the system isnt broken. How can a abusive mother get full child custody.

I don't understand why this mother even has custody of her kids once they turn a certain age thwy can choose where they want to live

I grew up in a similar situation, my mother never worked since I was a baby till I turned 18. I'd walk to school by myself as a kid and would come home everyday and she'd be laying in bed, watching soaps. There were many times as a kid that I had to "borrow" paper from other classmates near me because she would say she has no money when I'd ask her for 99 cents to buy paper. Yet, she would still have enough money to dress up and go out to clubs, leaving us alone while she would be out partying. The worst part is how horrible she was with the money, even after all the Government subsidies/help, she'd still blow all the money as soon as she got it. We moved 20+ times throughout my lifetime, most of them as a kid because she didn't have enough money to pay rent or she lost her money or whatever excuse she would come up with. I knew so many people raised by single mothers who would tell me the same thing, child support comes in and their hair/nails would be the first thing taken care of while the kids would be dressed in rags.

It should be mandatory that all child support must be monitored by the other parent paying and or the state. To ensure it is being used for the child. Also parternity tests should be mandatory uipon birth

I had that "call your dad" shit when I was a kid and like op anytime daddy found out what was up he would fix the problem and make my mom look like crap. At one point he just came and took me for 2.5 years because of her constant complaints about being broke while spending anything over the rent money on booze.

Why the f she gets to live anywhere for free?!?!?! If it had been a man, wouldn't he be homeless?! Also, she hasn't suffered enough. She deserves more!

Imagine paying 2k a month for 2 kids, plus utilities and the morgage on a house you no longer live in, plus all the bills at your current residence, plus college tuition for your 2 kids. All because you signed a contract with someone who benifited from breaking it. Never get married, would have been nice if the OP showed some gratitude in her post towards her father for paying her tuition since he's the MVP of this story as are countless other fathers that get dragged through the mess that is family court.

Okay that shit was terrible. That ending comment about being hit and told to die when he told his counselor... I have trouble finding words to express my feelings on that. That woman needs serious help and should of been in jail. At least she wouldn't need to work.

I cant stop laughing at how she normalizes it. "It wasnt perfect but others had it worse." Hahahaha...

First story just shows why the courts need to stop favoring the moms when it comes to custody. It's not only outdated and sexist (assuming that only women can and should care for children), but it leads to all kinds of abuse like this.

"My mom was pissed at me for years (I think she still is a little) for forcing her to grow up, but hell, she forced me to grow up at 8." Damn, that's just horrible..

It's not possible for the dad to sue the mom on misused child support? In the update the mother kept her child home and beat them... If I was the that father I know I would be in jail.

That excuse for a mother is by rights an abomination that should have been locked away.

That poor father. He’s lived through nine hells with his ex wife. Part of the reason why I’ll never get married. As a man that’s a death sentence.

The OP doesn't want to disparage single moms but the stats don't lie, you are worse off living in a single mother household. Her mom's behavior isn't that rare either, the government rewards it.

There is nothing surprising about the child support and mortgage in Jersey it's simple no he isn't a millionaire probably making between 60k to 75k a year, if you own a house and there are children the woman pretty much always gets them and the house because they need some place to live you have to continue paying for the house until the children leave and child support is continued until they leave college same with house

I have aother with BPD and a sister who is a narcissist. I call the BPD bad times as her "episodes". Lots of misuse of law enforcement, violence, manipulation, and tears.

I see this happen a lot with the guys I work with. Child support is often just mom support.

although my father is very strict man, but never lay a hand on us, all six of us, taught us to be independent and be innovative in way that nobody can look down on you in life, my mother is different, she is a caring soul and attentive to our needs especially when we were young never raise her voice on us even when we make a mess at her kitchen, the smile, the teaching and the loving touch of my late parents are something we missed dearly, I can't understand why some parents can't stay loving each other maybe the thought of losing out could be the factor or even something else, we'll never know, but the real outcome of it, is broken children, mentally and emotionally and that's not good......

seen this happen so many times as its so easy to block fathers who want the best for their kids out of their lives

I almost thought this was me from the future typing out that story because its almost identical to what happened to me. To this day I no longer speak with my mother. My father is a whole different cluster-fuck but thats a different story.

How is this revenge? It just makes me sad to read this, but this is not revenge it's just OP standing up for herself and not allowing to be abused anymore.

The system is flawed, I thought child support was for the child not for the mother to do whatever she wants with it

I hope that Guidance Counsellor eventually got fired at the very least!

It's quite disturbing, how the OP starts out the story with "I do love my mom," but provides no examples, why such a person as her mom is worth loving or what exactly does she love about her. She does, however, give numerous reasons why to hate her or at the very least, why to disown her.

It's baffling that narcissistic people can be that selfish. It's like the mother living in her own world that she's the ultimate victim and deserves all the money from everyone. I bet she also wants money from govt as well during pandemic. She will be placed in a shitty retirement home by her daughters

That dad is a saint I hope you gave him a big hug!

A woman being manipulative and narcissistic, exploiting her kids for financial gain and not taking accountability.. not uncommon.

Yooo i'm mgtow af after that 1 😂😂😂

If you are ever caught calling child support " mommy's paycheck " you should lose custody full stop.

Sounds like my aunt, who “took care” of my cousins and I after our grandmother died and my parents died. I’m still dealing with the trauma from her as an adult with children of my own. I’ve wanted to forgive her, but it’s just so hard because of everything she did and said to us. Hearing all of this from OP is not hard to believe at all, there are really people like this and it’s easy for them.

The real reason that mom was doing what she did was because she was jealous of her daughters... SHE KNOWS they will have a better life than she had and thats why she tried to sabotage them ALL THEIR LIVES!!!!!

What a wonderful dad!

I just love that thumbnail.

This is why the Child Support Cards, where they can ONLY be used for certain items and certain Stores, is such a good idea. It works similarly to a Food Stamps card. I know one woman, a friend of my Sister's, who didn't touch the Child support but put it in a Savings account instead for her 2 kids College. The Ex was fine with it as he was a high earner and she had recently gotten a higher paying job so she could afford paying for everything else herself. Her kids are now 11 and 15 with Sizeable college funds that both parents poured money into, one via CS and the other by paycheck. They have an amazing coparenting relationship and speak to one another about the children as necessary. Both remarried great people and the kids (Original 2 plus one half sib from mom and 2 half sibs from dad) are all one nice blended family. I used to babysit 11 and 15 some when they were 4 and 8 (I was 18 at the time) and saw the interactions really well. Step mom and Step Dad are called mom and pops (lol) while the bio parents are Momma/mommy/mama while Bio Dad is Dad/Daddy/Papa/Pa/Gordo (lmao that last one was my fault 😂). I feel like I completely deviated from my point... Oh yeah, the best compromise is a Bank account handled by lawyers that both parents can look into to see what the Support money is being used on. CS isn't Mommy or Daddies fun money but the children's expense money. Any leftover should be saved for the future.

Negatively altering a person's life and costing their domicile is NUCLEAR revenge.

This is why I say that the system needs to be reformed and fast. Put child support on a card and make them show paid stubs on what they spending the money on and it must be for the child only. Mothers are not always the best choice for the kids.

Well, this is a good lesson on what NOT to do as a parent... She's crazy...

This is possibly the greatest one I've seen on here.

I see ZERO upside to maintaining a relationship with OPs mother. Go NC immediately!

Sounds like a pretty common mother to me.

There are people who cry daily for one child and they can't conceive and there she is, with two kids with heads on their shoulders and she abused them time and time again. Genuinely I'm surprised those kids didn't send her into oblivion in their teens.

I don't know what OP is talking about. This is a perfect example of why you shouldn't date a single mother or any person with BPD.

That guidance counselor should have been fired, and possibly arrested...

BPD isn’t an excuse for cheating or treating your children like garbage.

How can she say she "still loves her mother?"- If that had been my mother, she would be dead to me.

Any parent like that mom needs to be arrested. They are a waste of a parent.

The real HERO here is the DAD. Saved both kids from getting kicked out of college bc of tuition. Went back to court and explained the situation and ended up paying less.The daughter got to spend more time with her Dad / siblings. Has a better family dynamic with her fathers other family who love her. Dad deserves Best Father Ever. Also why Dad didn't get compensated of all the money she frivolously wasted away that was supposed to go to kids and household. I guess Mommy doesn't get a Paycheck anymore. She got the Pink Slip. We need an overhaul in the court system. Mothers are not always the better choice.

Awesome story. Best of success to you.

Man oh man. This child should have told her Dad anyway about what was going on at home. Years ago I only received $50 a month from social security cause my father was n a mental institution. My mother put n a savings account. When I got older I bought a stereo, & than a car for $1500. Out of $50 a month I paid insurance & gas. The last check I bought a baby bed. That was in the 60’s . Last check was the summer of 1971. That’s the way u do it. My Mother worked very hard for us to live. I had a good childhood. This mother didn’t need custody. I’m so glad this daughter went to her Dad. He stood up for & im sure if he had known earlier he would have gotten custody.

I grew up with an extremely narcissistic sister so I wasn’t as impacted as OP but it made growing up very challenging especially since my mother enabled her. What helped me move on was when I learnt about narcissistic personality disorder and realised the way her brain functions is totally different and understanding that she is pretty much incapable of having any insight into her behaviour, how it affects others or even acknowledging she might be wrong and is in a way trapped by this as well (they often end up hurting themselves - the phrase cut off your nose to spite your face applies perfectly). I realised you will NEVER get them to see your point of view regardless of reality or how many obvious facts you present and attempting to argue is a futile waste of energy that will simply leave you frustrated and exhausted. This is because first they actually “lie” to themselves and convince themselves that this new version of reality is true in order to create a “good” version” of themselves they find acceptable. They have an unstable sense of self so need constant external validation and respond explosively to any perceived criticism. Keeping your distance and/or strong boundaries is the only way to manage it.

People like that don't deserve to have families. I'm glad that it sounds like you and your sister haven't been too scarred by her influence and (presumably) grew up to be decent people. Best of luck to you both.

She abused, exploited and neglected her children. She deserves much worse than she got.

I had a rough childhood similar to the guy in the last story. Ended up cutting my mom out entirely and I still get messages and calls from her every now and again about how I just "Abandoned her" lol.

"What happened? Where have all the men gone"?? We Walked away. Modern women are not worth it any more.💁🏿‍♂️

This was almost my childhood exactly except my mom let boyfriends stay with us, she didn’t drink, and she wasn’t as emotional abusive but had a bad mean streak. She stopped working when I was 6 and stopped cleaning when I was 10. I can relate to how frustrating it is that even though she had a college degree she let us live in the projects and grow up in extreme poverty. Today we have a good relationship now that she has stopped putting her boyfriends first but I still have resentment towards her and my dad for allowing us to live like that.

Whenever I hear story about terrible parents to the point the children are acting as better adults then the actual adults, it just tears me up. The one story that hits me the hardest was a story about druggie parents and the 9 year boy was waking everyday at like 5:30 to help his 5 year little sister, get dressed, clean, feed her everyday and walk her to the bus stop, just hurts. It makes me think of my niece and how would do anything for her not to deal with any life like that.

The OP should totally go no contact with her mother. The mother is a living example of why marriage rates have dropped dramatically in the USA.

Always stay positive following your dreams keep your head up

The mail problem is a breeze. Get a your own p.o. box! A po box is freedom. I hate anyone even touching my mail.

Are you telling me that the court agrees to have the children full custody on a parent with mental disorder? What kind of stupidity is that?

It's almost like, giving full custody and child support to the women 99% of the time is a failure of the system.... especially without any level of accountability.

I relate to the housework being done by the kids. My stepsister (8 or 9) and I (6 yrs old) had to clean the house while my stepmother laid in bed. She hated me, she used to take my picture and stomp on it. She was crazy.

Child support is for the child !!!

a person who does that type of thing to their children is nothing but filth!

For some weird reason so many people have this idea that mothers are this magical guardian angel that can do no wrong and will always do their hardest for their kids' well-being. Its almost like suggesting otherwise makes them gasp.

Thank you for cementing my resolve to never get married through our broken system.

And you summed up the whole problem in one sentence:" ....causing her to lose HER child support and free rent......" child support is not for the mother or father, it is for da da DAAAH! the child. Mom thought it was her party subsidy check. That is one of biggest complaints post family court men make (not enough time with kids, not getting to make a big enough role in child's life, parental alienation are big also). The complaint is there is not accounting for the moneys given over to her custody, in the name of the child. She can go buy boxed wine, bags of weed and sit around and eat herself into a coma on the child support check if she wants, and it's legal. Meanwhile the child can be in worn out clothes, eating UN-nutricious foods or hungry and have unaddressed health conditions and again, it's legal. He would have to prove, actually prove, not allege, life threatening enough for DCFS to step in and remove the child, before the court will intervene on child support. It's a sick, sad world.

How the hell do you get screwed that badly in a divorce settlement? Needing to pay 2k a month in child support, along with housing and other expenditures for the wife? That man got fleeced and needs a new lawyer.

Damn, I’m surprised OP still stated they love their mom. If my mom had neglected and abused me since age 8 and repeatedly gaslight the shit of her entire family, I would cut her out of my life completely once I leave for college.

These stories are great but so infuriating. My blood was beyond boiled after hearing this and I hope that woman has a miserable life for all the pain she caused.

Thank God our legal system is hard at work ensuring that unstable, delusional, narcissists like OPs mom are able to get custody of their kids and abuse them for years and years w/o consequences

I honestly thought my sister wrote this because the first few minutes described our life

Wait so dad had to pay the mortgage AND $2000/ month child support!?!? Ffs that guy got bent over and rammed by the court system

I will never understand people that love their disgustingly horrible parents. Just because you share DNA doesn't mean they deserve your love. If people are bad, they are bad people. They deserve nothing.

That woman is a sociopath. She seems to have seen herself as a demented Lorelai Gilmore and didn't see that to be a good yet immature mother she at least had to be responsible in work ethics yet is not competent enough to buy groceries when money just falls on her lap.

If you’re the kind of crazy that causes you to harm people, you belong in a padded cell. That mom should have been wearing a straightjacket this whole time.

I blame the grandmother for enabling the abuse and narcissisism of that mother. That woman, in her entire life, was never told "no" by anyone. if the grandmother was involved at all, there's no way she didn't know how those grandkids were being raised. And by leaving everything to the mother and not putting it in a trust or something for a college fund tells you she spoiled the mother rotten. What a waste all around.

She doesn’t deserve tax payer dollars for a cute apartment. Let her live on the streets. I have an inkling of what this woman looks like. Very typical

Since when child support or other forms of monetary aid is for the kids? It is to finance her lifestyle after the divorce. Divorce laws seems rigged no matter how bad the mother is.

It even hurts my ear hearing this

My mom is a single mom, and, how the hell does she have to get just around 100 bucks of child support from my irresponsible dad, and this irresponsible mom gets 2k???

Wow, what a QUEEN. YAS QUEEN SLAY !

I feel bad for the dad family court did him dirty

If anybody has a parent that suffers from borderline personality disorder (BPD), I highly recommend the book “I hate you - don’t leave me”. This has helped me deal with my mom because she suffers from BPD and up until recently, our relationship was fractured because many of the manipulative and harsh behaviors that individuals BPD conduct.

My parents are incredible people and I am so grateful … imagine having THIS person as a mother. Fuck

About the commenter about the horrible divorce decree, if he was paying past 18. To inform you, almost every state has what is called "majority" ages. 18, 21 and 26. If you think a child support paying parent is off the hook at 18 you are wrong, as long as the "child" is going to school they can pay all the way up to 26. They even get to have them on their insurance as well. Imagine the guilt trip on a dad being "glad" his child didn't pursue college and getting to stop paying at 18 rather than 21 or 26. Meanwhile, "mom" gets to party on what was intended as the kids support check. That's why 50/50 is optimal, then there isn't child support checks to abuse, the 50% of the time the kid is with you, you pay, the 50% with the other parent, they pay.

Take care. Nothing's worse than a parasite that acts like a rabid mutt. I have a few family members who also had Borderline Personality. As a dude suffering from Adhd and Aspergers, mental health DOES need to be treated... but it's up to the person honestly 😕 .

You'd think that since judges awarded her the kids, childsupport and the home they would reverse the payments of 18 years on her right, because its for the welfare of the children. It really isn't that much of revenge at all.

Idc what they say, this is how most single moms think.