FULL UPDATE Wife Left Me Then Came Back Begging 3 months later, But I Don't Want Her Anymore...

Рет қаралды 353,735

3 жыл бұрын

Well let me give some background information as the situation will be hard to understand without it.
7 years ago I got married to the girl of my dreams Denise(Fake name), we had been dating for 2 years before that and it was like a dream come true, that changed after our marriage. After our marriage she constantly started feeling down and out of it and eventually I got her to go to a doctor who sent her to a therapist and from there we found out she had depression to do with things from her past that she was trying to forget. I decided to be as supportive as I could be, I took care of most of the house work, despite working 40 hours a week and told her to just get herself in order and if she needed to talk to me I would be there for her.
That was 6 and a half years ago, before she left she was still depressed, she basically only lays in bed and complains, she does nothing, we had no intimacy, no s-x, no cuddles, no going out, my entire day was filled with work and house work. Day in and day out I worked my a-- off, came home to a mess of a house and started cleaning up, starting dinner and so forth at the end of the day I was exhausted and all I could expect was for Denise to unload more of her trouble on me and complain about herself, me and everything around her. I could not even hang out with my buddies to get away from it all as she would relentlessly call me saying she was scared and everything so I also had no social life, not that I had time for it anyway...But despite it all I pushed through hoping that sooner or later she would break out of it and we could have a proper life together as I loved her and as they say for better and worse and this was quite clearly worse, possibly the worst it would ever be.
Story:
Update: My(28M) wife(27F) left me for 3 months and recently begged me to take her back, I said no and no everyone seems to be against me, I need some advice strangers
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Пікірлер: 670

@sammorgan31 3 жыл бұрын

Aw. The family thinks he's making a mistake. Well then the family can marry her and take care of her.

@boltzmannbrain8698 3 жыл бұрын

It’s not a partner’s job to make you happy but they are certainly obliged to not make you miserable

@vladiantasca6256 3 жыл бұрын

This is the most clear cut case of codependency

@reptilelover2129 3 жыл бұрын

If your reason to be with someone is because they are depressed you shouldn't be in that relationship.

@matthewgaines10 3 жыл бұрын

Never marry a broken person. Never.

@jmack91 3 жыл бұрын

So you're basically going to have to treat her like a child. More power to you. Please believe, if the roles were reversed, she would have left you and ran your name through the mud saying "it's not my responsibility to take care of a grown man"

@Sparkfist 3 жыл бұрын

It is disappointing that OP has to be the therapist his wife needed. His "ultimatum" is what most therapists would say to do; get up and exercise, get into a routine; set realistic expectations (like a job). As someone that has dealt with chronic depression for years these are simple and common things you'd do for getting out of a slump like OP's wife was in. His wife needs to makes sure she finds a good therapist as well as OP make her go with him to couples' therapy.

@Riunlarose 3 жыл бұрын

Dude with the depressed wife

@slaymyface1357 3 жыл бұрын

"Marriage isnt always fun"

@DianeHasHopeInChrist 3 жыл бұрын

His family says "he owes her"? REALLY? She owes HIM. SHE ABANDONED their wedding vows, "for better, for worse...for richer, for poorer....in sickness & in health." SGE abandoned the marriage. She made her bed....LAY IN IT!

@breedlejuice8691 3 жыл бұрын

Depression is crippling, and def varies from person to person, but I’ve been struggling with my mental health for a few months and I am fighting it every day. I have chore charts, got a gym membership, take care of my reptiles, started cooking for myself, and have a writing quota every day. It’s so so hard to do all this, but I’m fighting not to fall into a pit of despair. This woman gave up for 6 years and saw herself hurting her partner the entire time. She embraced that pit of despair, and I doubt she’ll ever be able to get out

@Ian-gk7ne 3 жыл бұрын

I'm confused!! How come the house is such a mess every day when she is in bed all day???

@Zanzecus 3 жыл бұрын

Sometimes lazy people need ultimatums, its the only thing that motivates them when its either sink or swim.

@dunnotck1 3 жыл бұрын

Dude, I was depressed for years. I finished my bachelor's, took care of myself and went out with friends every once in a while. Depression is not an excuse to be a useless human being.

@elmaquiavelico5709 3 жыл бұрын

This one is really hard.

@cheesebucket142 3 жыл бұрын

" I could not even hang out with my buddies to get away from it all as she would relentlessly call me saying she was scared and everything so I also had no social life"

@scotlapwell1780 3 жыл бұрын

He done more than enough by giving up 6 years of his life trying to help her go enjoy your freedom

@combocentral 3 жыл бұрын

If I had to become the warden just to maintain a relationship with my wife then it’s already over.

@christianordonez6675 3 жыл бұрын

56 seconds into the story I can already see what's wrong with this relationship. She basically had OP as a personal maid/therapist and she just started seeing him differently. People who go through depression or even have an entitlement issues tend to look over things people do for them. They are unsure how to show proper gratitude and support themselves. Basically, im saying it was a mistake to get with this girl

@nicerperson1 3 жыл бұрын

The guy who had to look after his depressed wife for 6 years - it only started when they got married? sounds like that was her dream. And why the hell was the house a mess every day? if she was supposedly lying in bed doing nothing, where the hell did all the mess come from?