Hi Bryn! With me it was similar and yet different. I never really had attraction towards men. I was always attracted to women, but many of the women I was particularly attracted to later turned out to be lesbians. I always liked how they acted, what they wore, how they talked. But my view was completely obscured by dysphoria. I still have great imposter syndrome, but it is slowly getting better.

hi Bryn! found your channel this week and wanted to say thank you because of how much i've connected with things you've said. I was a later egg crack (happened at 27, starting HRT at 29) but I always knew I was pansexual. I also had this preference and emotional investment in lesbian relationships, even though being with a woman as a "cis man" was distressing for reasons i couldn't put my finger on. Realising I wanted women to see me in a different way is one of the things that accelerated my thought process around my own gender, and I also then realised that the reason I was awkward about my attraction to men was because I didn't identify with being in gay male relationships, but could identify with being a woman in a 'straight' relationship. ....all that is to say that I'm glad I found your channel, and thanks for sharing so eloquently, because it's been comforting for me to listen to

I can imagine how hard that can for you to have to go through this. I do a lot of research on psychology and the human psychic and I can understand that nobody would willingly choose this path to follow.

Ya, I think it's absolutely wild how gender identity and sexual orientation are separate things. I was straight before I changed gender, and I expected I'd be a lesbian, but I became attracted to guys about two years into hrt. I think it's so cool that sexual orientation is a separate thing; it really makes the experience interesting during gender change :^)

Gods, this is *so* familiar. I was never attracted to men at all, and that's never changed, but in basically every other way this is pretty much the same thing as I experienced. I was functionally asexual prior to HRT, never even had sex dreams, couldn't at all imagine why people would want to have sex, etc. And I had that draw toward lesbians and sapphic-coded characters and relationships as soon as I was exposed to them, which wasn't until much later due to religious upbringing. And what you said about internalizing a lot of the messaging aimed at girls *definitely* rings true. I remember taking purity culture far more seriously than any of the Christian boys I was mostly raised around, always understanding the point of view of the girls better than the guys whenever they were described as being opposing, and even taking to heart very firmly that I was supposed to be emotionally intelligent and always sought to defuse or leave situations while boys were learning to fight when challenged.

i am not joking when i say your story made me realize i've always been a lesbian. this is completely hitting me out of left field, lmao

I'm here to share my current confusion about my attraction(s). I believe I'm somewhere in the vauge aroace non-binary femme (AMAB) zone. At least this is the current "line of best fit" for my current feelings. I don't think I've experienced proper lust or true romantic feelings or any full on crushes (at least when compared with cis people describe, especially cis men)... but there is still attraction to women that could fit into aeshetic / platonic boxes that also could be something more that that. I do know those attractions are intertwined with gender envy. My arousal is usually triggered by abstract thoughts (not all of which I'm willing to share) rather than specific people but there is some vauge link towards femininity (including internally and externally). Hearing experiences described in the video does make me wonder whether I am experiencing attraction, but masked by gender feelings (I wouldn't necessarily say I experience dysphoria per se, but there is a level of dissociation which makes figuring out attaction very difficult). It doesn't help that no-one actually can give me a clear idea of what sexual or romantic attraction actually is.

Whoa, it's been 9 months? Time is FLYINGGGGGG

Hi Bryn. i want to thank you for this amazing video as a nonbinary AMAB lesbian butch who goes by he she they pronouns. My story was that before I realized I was nonbinary that I was just pan but I felt a queer liking to a woman more than connected to my pansexuality and I thought I cant be a lesbian becuase again I was AMAB though through time I realized the new lesbian flag was made by a nonbinary lesbian themseld and that the top of that flag means gender non-conformity but still I had a problem befause I thought lesbian meant women love women but the people on reddit told me its non men love non men which Im not a huge fan to say but how I define myself is that Im a nonbinary person who while both has equal traits kf masc and feminity feel like Im attracted to feminity and the female approach and I think i do feel a little more in touch with my feminine side so to me it means my feminine side is attracted to kther feminime sides and the female approach and females and female alligned genders. As you guess I felt so happy once I realize Im a nonbinary lesbian and yesterday I realized I was a butch too again Im AMAB and I accept that but again i identify as a nonbinary amab lesbian butch who goes by he she they probouns and I rather be that as it js my true self my idenity per say. But anyways thanks for sharing your experience as a nb lesbian, Im glad there is a nb lesbian content creator i can look up to.

I could listen to ya all day.

Thank you for sharing! Me too in many ways!

I really appreciate this video, there's some situations in which I've been really working on figuring out what non-binary means to me, and even though having cis-hetero men in my life and having them as friends, I'm realizing that just the way they treat me, I could tell that they don't actually understand or respect non-binary because they can either be attracted to me has sexual, or like they're waiting for something to get a chance to do that, or they just don't try to understand the whole concept there just like I don't get it and I'm not sure if it's just because they don't have to be as open-minded, or they are just not associating it with respect or maybe it's an age thing with edumacation, I'm not sure but I feel icky when people treat me especially if they're interested in hitting on me as a different gender then non-binary it feels off

I believe im ftm. And i feel the same thing about men. Only liked them for the validation that im desirable but i was always "off" during sex. I still don't understand my sexuality.

@2kavi (hopefully I’m tagging the right person) I accidentally deleted your comment but I wanted to say thank you, and also your comment made me laugh really hard. I guess I really am The Ultimate Gay™️ 😂

Yuri absolutely rule 100% percent thumbs up.

i remember there used to be a pan ezine in the US (not here in singapor, oh no heaven forbid!) called 'anything that moves'. we need to amend that to 'anything that moves, breathes, of legal age, and is human' me? another story for another day...much love from singapore, love catrina

But yeah, in my teens, I felt nothing. Family would constantly ask if I had a gf, or if I liked any girls, but I felt nothing. First time I looked up porn, it was cause I wanted to "prove" to myself that I wasn't gay, not cause I had any interest. I'm 36, nobody talked about trans people, the complexities of sexuality, asexuality, etc when I was growing up. Everyone just assumed I was gay because I wasn't some womanizer. Being a queer teen in the early 2000's was NOT fun. I STILL can't quite figure things out. Trans woman mostly fits, though there is definitely some fluidity into agender. Lesbian is the label I was most comfortable with. I'm probably gonna go back to it, simply because I have no interest in dating men. Porn is one thing, but IRL, I already know that doesn't work for me. I need to be with women, and I likely won't be comfortable with that until I'm post op. ...being trans is very confusing and annoying. If I were a cis woman, I would've figured this shit out by 14. 🤷‍♀🙄

(I'm nonbinary) This video made me realize I literally don't have any male freinds that aren't based on sex-

Omg you are so beautiful 😍

Hi i like your voice

I've missed!

You would be perhap interested by the story of Mary Edwards Walker.

While I see occasional videos with gay men transitioning to women, I rarely find any evidence that this really occurs in searches on the web. Is it very rare, or a forbidden subject?

By ur described experience, and what I can tell of others experiences, and most who advocate polyamory would or probably rally against me for saying this; but I don’t think the two really care about if they lose the other person. And that seems to be in keeping with ur story, and even my experiences. It’s just friends with benefits. There’s very much friendship there. Except with gay men. A lot of gay acknowledge that they’re men, that their hormones aren’t going to allow them to so what they’re going to do, and yet they seem to retain long lasting meaningful relationships, despite infidelity. Straight ppl are typically the exact opposite….and then there’s chem sex, which I know nothing about lol!

Slay

Life is crazy. As a man, you were not attracted to women. Now as a woman, you are not attracted to men. Go figure. I like your hair and piercings!

Hi Neyn, nice to meat you girl. I hope you don’t mind me sharing my strange and unusual situation. I know this is highly igregular from the normal transition story of a transgender person, but here it goes anyway. have discovered myself to be a true shapeshifter after discovering I am a, STARSEED/BLUE-RAY Pleiadians Anime Female warrior named Jujtoti from the Karelian Family from a multidimensional advanced technological hybrid alien humanoid anime all female Pleiadian world. When I had my awaking, I was a 54-year olde female from this world, but after the major awaking, I am known have the mind set and physical look of a 34 to 24- to 17-year-old Anime Magical Teen Girl Goddess. Since I had my major awakening on December 30 I’ve been doing with a lot of denial and many attempts to oppress and run from more authentic self and feelings. I still some time and time you were being ashamed and self-loathing because of what society thinks and even to ashamed to tell my family who I am. The only thing all this denial and oppressing my feelings and running from them does make this more painful and causes chronic pain mental and physical suffering that all most killed me. I feel so ashamed of being Anime Magical Teen Girl Goddess at times. I can't even tell my family because of how ashamed and self-loathing I deal with. I know that deep down inside this is painfully real because quantum multiverse as real as ever, but it still makes me deal with shame and self-loathing because of what society thinks. I happen be an inter dimensional being. I know my situation is unusual, but in the whole terminology inter-dimensional or quantum multi dimension universes there is no set rules that dimensions have to operate. Not all of them have to make sense? I happen to deeply resonate with what I’m describing below the sentence. I am an STARSEED/BLUE-RAY Pleiadians Anime Female warrior named Jujtoti from the Karelian Family from a multidimensional advanced technological hybrid alien humanoid anime all female Pleiadian world. I’ve got a lot more than a bargain before when I had my awakening to reveal things about my authentic self at times, I’m still struggling with it, defines everything this 3-D reality stands for in this world. It took a big major awakening for me to truly wake up to who and what I truly am. I know am no longer the Earth female I thought I was because I’m a dimensional Starseed/Blue Ray Pleiadians Anime Magical Teen Girl Goddess. I’ve lost my reality since I’ve had my major awakening on December 30 after I lost a tooth and making a wish to be a young beautiful female forever and have immortality. My wish got granted, and then this is when my entire journey started. For me, my awakening was not something I had planned or a choice as it happened, regardless of what I wanted or not wanted, regardless of whether or not, I was ready or not. Then on Dec30th going into 2024 when I lost a tooth, out of fear I Made a wish to be a beautiful female forever and have immortality. Then right away the kundalini awakening opened up at full attack and my authentic self said now you have the soul of an anime girl, and you are now a real anime girl inside. Ever since then I have dealing with a living hell or dream state, I am unable to wake from. Even my mind set, and body has gone into the age regression process to look more like an anime girl. That is what I see when I look in Mirror anyway. I see a cute anime girl looking back at me and I am like what the bloody hell. Is this Really happening to me and is this freakin real. What the hell happened to my reality. I Been dealing with these synchronicities from earlier childhood and it’s been using anime and anime girls as ways to get my attention even when I wasn’t looking for it or interested in it or you knew about it. Back then I was more interested in about finding a dream job. Having a nice car. Nice house making big money nothing else mattered back then. Even if I found out what anime meant back then I didn’t give a damn about it because I was more interested in what I mentioned above. Over time Anime revealed itself to in the form of synchronicities to me and told me what it was. It slammed me into the wall to make sure I knew what anime girls and magical girls were. Then over time the more I had to watch it off and on, I would start having fantasies and desires to be an anime girl living in anime girl worlds. For many years I was able to push it away and think it was nothing more than that. I don't know anything about the Magical Girl Part because she is from Puella Mgi Madoka Magica multiverse. I seem to be an unintended victim of forced contact from Kyubey to be a Magical Girl. I am sick of all this suffering on top of suffering on top of suffering. I don't want to be a Magical girl knowing the suffering they must put up with. Magical Girls are made to suffer. Please help me, because I don't know what to do any more. This is driving me into complete madness, and I don't want to end up in no dam Phy ward again. I had a bad traumatic experience. I was put in there over a deviated septum last year in Feb of 2023 for 2 and half weeks. What they did to me was just inhuman. I was having issues breathing and one day the head nurse and its helper came in the dark and ejected me with two syringes at the same time on both sides of my ribs. It felt like an alien abduction to me. Can anyone explain to me what type of shifts I am dealing with? I feel so scared, confused, broken and damaged goods. I hate dealing with the Anime Girl Body Dysphoria the most. I hate the fact that I can't go back and yet it keeps pushing me forward. I feel like I am a mental wreck, and I can't help feeling the way I do deep down inside! The more I Follow this Path the stronger the feelings of being a Anime Girl Gets. I Can't go back because there is only death and pain. Going forward drives me into feeling to be a true anime girl and live in an anime girl multiverse. The feeling is like being stuck in a dream state that I am unable to awaken from. This is why my dissociation is my best friend when I feel numb and in the void from any feelings and pain. I am sick of how people point the finger at me and say I brought this on myself. Why would I pick such painful and deadly path knowing that it could risk could be suicide and death. This is me in the world since I’ve been going my shape changing transmutation to being younger. The Post is my animal and then there is my anime girl soul family. I went to a psychic fair this week in Saturday and Sunday. I visit multi psychics for multiple different Readings, and they’ve all agreed that I am a Pleiadian. I’ve done a lot of soul-searching and everything and I know deep down inside I’ve been confirmed by others that I am a multi-dimensional being. I also have the soul of an Anime Magical Teen Girl Goddess, that’s also been confirmed by a large group of psychics that they felt this anime girl childlike present.

Yeah, I went from straight, to bi, to gay, to bi, to lesbian, to bi... likely going back to lesbian. Sexuality is hard as fuck to figure out when you're trans.