takeout: "genuinely confident people don't actually talk about themselves that much"

They will even promote themselves at a funeral. They think this is their time to show off? They are crazy.

I started counseling in my early twenties to understand my relationship with my mother. No one could truly help me understand. Thirty years later here you are. Thank you!

"Humility never goes out of style"

"the world enables them" yes! especially when your ex narcissist is a doctor! He is eating up this attention during this pandemic. sickening!

A grandiose narcissist is like a beautiful chocolate cake that looks great and you taste that frosting which is soooo delicious . But as soon as you take a slice you realize that cake , is uncooked , raw and horrible in the inside . You thought that cake would be amazing because you judged it by its appearance. But it’s all an illusion . These narcissist are con artist who live in a fake reality under a state of psychosis in that they believe the stories they created . But it’s the lie that we fell for . The lie of I love you , your the one my soul mate , the future faking of wanting to move in together , wanting to get married , have kids together after only a few months of dating . But as soon as the narcissist realizes your hooked on them , comes the blame & pain and they will use you , exploit you , embarrass you , play you like a violin making you think your the crazy one. Whereas in reality ..it’s them.

I had a "friend" who used to call quite frequently and, after the first few minutes of cordiality, he would launch into a constant stream of talk about himself and his life. I found myself very rarely saying a word for several long minutes, sometimes I placed the phone down and tended to something, only to return and find him still talking as if I had been there all along. One day I decided to make him respond to some remark or question I had, requiring him to stop and answer. He was very short and ugly to my interjection- like how dare you demand my attention be taken off what I was saying about myself! At that point I unloaded on him and was quite verbally abusive, giving him some much needed depreciating dialog. I never heard from him again and was delighted. Now there was a Narcissist!

"They learn as a child that working on their superficial exterior is a better investment of their resources because that's what will keep their parents and other adults engaged." - I've been looking for this explanation for decades, thank you.

They love to hear themselves talk. They are also super big bullies when angered. I met the new neighbor the other day. He spent 20 minutes talking about himself and how successful he was back in the day. I ended up cutting him off in mid sentence by saying, " gotta go walk my dog. Bye. " Haven't even looked his way since!

I was married to this grandiose personality type for 10+ years. I spent my entire 20s with him. When I left that marriage I was determined to enter into a healthy relationship and avoid any person who demonstrated any grandiosity whatsoever. Well now I have been married to a covert narcissist for 10 years, who acted with cream complete humility when we met. What’s worse is that we have a child. God bless it!!! I had NO IDEA that covert narcissism existed!! That’s why I love this series so much. Information is EVERYTHING!!!! Thank you! Thank you!! Thank you!!!

Yes, adhd excuse I’ve heard that also, 😂 but if I’m bored and not paying attention to them I’m rude. 😂

Grandiose Narcissists Are Less Sensitive And More Confident They Are Superior And Will Seek Revenge Or Go Into A Vicious Rage.Against Those Who Don’t Treat Them With Respect Narcissists Have No Sense Of Shame... These Ppl Are Dangerous.

A narcissist is entertainment, fun at a party but at the end of the night the shows over. They are a good time not a long time!

My grandmother used to have a saying that I can now apply to narcissists “they think their shit don’t stink, but their farts give them away“. Now that I know the warning signs to look for I’ll have a better chance of seeing it. 😂

That's my partner.... getting away from him thanks to this lockdown. Healing day by day. Thank you for these videos!!!

I said ‘yes’ when my Narc proposed, misinterpreting his grandiosity for self confidence. Found out after marriage that he had sold me a fake package and he was not even remorseful about it. He went on acting as if he’s a prize catch although he was jobless, penniless. In fact, he was so full of himself all the time that I continued getting carried away with his future faking. The web of lies were spun so ingeniously, he managed to convince me that his inadequacies were not his fault.

That ADHD thing was so on point. I've noticed it to be true in case of all narcissists- overts and coverts.

I knew the exact moment my partner was grandiose.We were on a outing with his parents.He grabbed my hand and said"Look happy image is everything".My jaw hit the floor.

The ex-narc/husband -of 2decades -I would put him as" The Chameleon^ Narc-depending on the situations /atmosphere /environment It would rapidly change.

🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻 This was Everything.. I unfortunately have had several Grandiose Narcissistic people in my life, and they leave DEEP scars. 💔

This is my brother. I was heartbroken when I woke up to it. I’ve gone completely no-contact, though, and I feel so much more peaceful and free.

I found myself questioning my own sense of humor after he would tell me every mean thing he said was "a joke". He was Canadian and told me I just didn't get their superior comedy. I'm like "whaaaaaaa????" I know comedy, like really well. My favorite comedians ARE Canadian. I was out there googling 'what is comedy' this guy had me so gaslighted (gaslit?).

They are totally CONTEMPTUOUS and CONDESCENDING ! Especially if you try to stand up to them just a little bit !

The narcissistic man who I fell in love with was your typical Tall Dark & Handsome type who smugly wore his self impressed attitude on his sleeve as if he owned the universe. Wherever he went in public people would stop & notice his insta sex appeal. He played this like a musical instrument. Then at home in private between the two of us, he'd immediately go to the Covert side of the narcissistic spectrum. He took advantage of my attraction to him but wasn't emotionally/physically available to be in a relationship.

I can't wait to dive into covert narcissism, it's so hard to spot to the naked eye!

So glad you’re doing this series! I think it’s so important people can recognise different types 💖

Wow! This is scary accurate. Just wow.

Oh my dated some guy just like this!!! This guy would brag how a lot of “clients daughters“ liked him a lot, “sold“ a 8 million dollar house, all these crazy stories... Called me everyday, talked about marriage/kids, made me feel special or that he was different and had “morals“... thought he was dream until I noticed inconsistencies, red flags. He played me good . Thank you 🙏

Thank you so much. Nobody believes us. The damage is so lengthy and destructive. My worst experience is when others want me to comfort them as I tell my shame story. These people are naked and we are using a bull horn and people are like “they are wearing the best outfit.” I can’t even at this point. As for me, I surrender to this. All I can do is change myself. But I’m glad that you’re helping me and countless others who have suffered in silence over and over and over again.

Great point on the ADHD with self vs laser focus on getting their way.

I noticed early on that he never portrayed himself in a bad light. I thought that was probably a smart way to be (as I was always putting myself down) and I thought it was because he came from money and the east coast! Funny the stories and excuses we tell ourselves when dealing with narcissistic people.

why do narcissist have periods of appearing to care and then straight into heartlessness?

My mother appears to be a grandiose narcissist and everything I read or watch indicates this is the case. Its empowering to have this information now, but I wish I realized this sooner. Great videos, thank you

I think my dad is all of the above. He fits covert, Grandiose, malignant. I have so many stories in my head that now make such total sense. Now that I see him, he is very textbook and I know when he is going to get ready to shock me, reel me in and SLAM me against the cement sidewalk face down. My nose hits first then the rest of my body shatters on impact. My mom, sister, husband and daughters never had a chance in hell, and all the while we had no clue... Good job Bill. I hope you are very happy. WE are all absolutely broken on so many levels.

"Put on a show for the worlds and convince you that this facade you put to the world that we are just this happy family" this answers a lot of questions, I've always been blamed for being a threat to this "social image" and left feeling guilty for it, I even started doubting myself about what is true and what is not.

I'm a survivor, on a way to thrive. 💪🏽 I know, If I can do it, you all can! 🔥 It might sound crazy, but I think that everyone that's a narcissist-magnet must come across a strong damaging narcissist. 🤔 The reason is: we have been so primed to take the abuse that it doesn't feel so, unless someone thrashes us left, right and centre. It's deeply agonizing but a wake-up call. 🔔Apart from getting healed from the abuse of one narcissist, we get trained in escaping such monsters in future. 🏋️ The universe has loads of energy for you, you need not depend on any sadist to derive it from. 🌞 More power to all the good people out there! 🌍 You CAN do it! 💜

As a substance abuse counselor I encounter this type of person on a regular basis and have the most difficulty treating.

I have this aunt who is a teacher and currently living with her and my other aunt. She was so sweet and really kind. She likes volunteering mostly coastal clean up and tree planting, just all about nature and she's an activist too. Before it happened she was just working and rarely use social media but when she discovered that doing those things and showing off on social media particularly facebook, she would gain lots of likes and admiration from other people local or foreign. Since then, she changed. The fame got into her head and all she does at home was talk about how people admire her for caring for nature, that she has famous friends who likes travelling too, how many shares and comments her posts gets. I was happy for her at first because she deserved it, she worked hard. But it got toxic. She likes being validated every single day she would talk about her achievements or like meeting with famous people. But when we try to share other story, she doesn't listen that much and would always go back talking about herself. My mom couldn't fully support me financially so my aunt would pay for my fees at school so in return I'd do things for her like folding the laundry, fixing our cabinets and arrange her clothes in the wardrobe, prepare meals for her and other little gestures. But when I realized that it started to become toxic, I slowly distanced myself, less interaction and I stopped doing the things I used to do for her because It was draining me and add my other aunt too who likes scapegoating me. I was so exhausted, having anxiety and depression, being around them it's like they're sucking my energy out of me. When I slowly distanced myself, I think she noticed it because when I started doing it, she started buying me stuffs like a comforter when I have my blanket, clothes, a phone even though I already had those things and I never asked for those which is kinda weird because she doesn't do that when I was this "good girl" to her and always giving her attention and praise and validation. For me it's like she's trying to pull me back to her, to admire and see her the way I used to. I want to leave, I don't want to live here anymore. I've been depressed and having anxiety because of them. But I have no choice, I have nowhere to go. I can't reach out to my mother because she's probably busy with her kids and husband and with work. I hope to get out of here someday before it's too late.

Gosh this describes my experirnce with my ex to a tee...yeah I thought he was genuinely confident but turns out he was cocky & arrogant😔😔 Yeah, his parents, ecpecially his dad, used to rave about his children...looks etc...but my ex could never talk about his childhood trauma with his parents...they ignored his emotional needs. Yup hot & cold is an understatement... thank God I'm off that emotional rollercoaster!

Grandiose narcissist here. But, I am loyal to my wife and family. Married 20 years. Our weakness is our strength. Winning at all costs.

I just see my ex- neighbour on the news paper (narcistic grandiose) talking about his overeating and feelings and how he stands up for men. When I know for real that his children has issues with food. How creepy it's that. Hugs from Norway desde Noruega🇳🇴

I agree about narcissists not being humble. My sibling brags all the time about how successful she is, and yet she has been financially supported by our parents her entire life. She is a failure, but to the casual observer she appears to be on top of the world.

Well, this clears up what Narcissist I was dealing with. I thought he was a Covert, but now I know he is Grandiose for sure! Childhood is on target as well.

And my dad made sure he became a lawyer, drove the sports car, owned the big house, and married young wives. If anyone is still skeptical, I am the poster child of surrounding myself with different types. And, yes, he cut me out of his will.

After 48 years of practice in unknowingly attracting these types of people, and my the experience of my narcissistic mother, I FINALLY see these people in complete contrast to a ‘healthy’ person. Thank goodness!! So much therapy later… this is a very powerful, yet very vulnerable person.

Dr. Ramani....your description is spot on. Thank you.

My ex husband narcissist used to always say he was ADHD because he could care less about listening to anyone. He only wanted to talk about himself and what he was interested in.

I'm really thrilled about this series! My husband and I both have several different kinds of narcissists in our families.

Wow. Thank you so much. I feel so loved right now with all you so freely sharing. Truly , thank you.

Thank you so much! I am a narcissist. And I don’t want to be anymore. I have found that, being a narcissist, I have to abandon what I now believe to be a guide to have a positive impact on humanity. I have to lie and steal and be a whole cluster of toxic traits... this ends. I deserve it. The people around me deserve it. I have just begun this journey... thank you so much again.

These are so well done! Thanks for your time and content.

Clarity on point! I wish you could teach me everything I need to know...I could just listen to you all day!🤗

I just came across your channel and I'm coming across answers to questions I've had my entire life about myself, my family, my ex's & the trauma and chaos I let myself and my kids live in due to generational curses and ties to trauma! Im wanting to share my story to help others but I have to get all the knowledge I can to try and explain! Im an empath & at age 35 am just now beginning to understand the tip of why I am who I am and am trying to heal! Thank you for sharing I'll continue to watch all your videos so I can grow in knowledge and wisdom on how to continue moving forward. God bless you and all those who you reach and help!

So true... thank God you took learning seriously and avoided Narcs in lieu of learning and expanding in this life! You’re great at communicating!

I am so grateful for all your videos Dr Ramani! Finally someone who validates the experience ive had all my life... that NO one ever validated, or validates, to this day. Your explanations help me know what seemed wrong really was, and even the things i came to accept were still”wrong” (damaging... to me). Doesn’t change me or my life but encourages me to keep working onhealing. ❤️

Thank you Dr. Ramani. You have no idea how much you have helped me through the narcissistic muck I find myself in. I really appreciate your insights.

After all this time watching these videos from Dr. Ramani, I am still left speechless. Literally, every single video is basically her talking about my miserable ex.

Thank you Dr. Ramani, you've brought such a difference to my life. Please keep doing this 🙏🏽 🧠. God bless you.

Best KZfaq channel when it comes to the education and conversations we should be having so we can protect ourselves from these kind of people.

Wow Dr. Ramani!! This is such an informative series & I'm so appreciative for you sharing your vast knowledge & wisdom on this subject matter with us!!

Hi! I just wanted to say thank you SO MUCH for all of your videos you have put out. I appreciate all of them and all of the knowledge and advice. I finally now feel like my thoughts and feelings are validated regarding my relationship with my boyfriend. I have been so confused and lost because I didn’t know what I was going through was actually due to narcissistic personality traits. I just wanted to say thank you and I love your videos. 🙏🏼🙏🏼

Seeing other people's comments is very comforting. I watch your videos every day. They really help. Thank you.

So much gratitude 🙏🏽 for this series. So clearly expressed. Learning a lot from your videos about myself of course and what to identify in others 👌

Thank you SO MUCH for this information! I can’t stress enough how important this work is. You’re giving us tools to fight and, first of all, recognize trouble before getting ourselves into it. I am taking these lessons to HEART, and hope to some day become certified (even if just a few classes) on psychology, and continue to inform people on narcissistic abuse. Over here, laws don’t protect against emotional, verbal and psychological abuse, and that has to change.

I am really excited about this series.I feel like I am going to learn more about myself from this.I need to work on my narcissism but first I need to identify which category I belong to.

Doctor Ramani, you have just said what I had on my mind for years, just with your own words tho. reeeespect and props for that.

Dr. Ramani...you are a genius in this field... everything you say is spot on..so glad to get to hear u and learn👌👌👌

"Their willingness to break the rules to get ahead." I've known two who actually believed there were no rules for THEM, only other people (weaker people). These two make their own rules. This is the smarter and better way, they believe. We weaker people who believe in rules and manners for the greater good, only hold ourselves back, is how they look at it. (!)

Why are they defined in types? I feel like every narcissist Ive had has been a hybrid of all the types

This is the best series ever! Thank you!!! Will you do a bit about spiritual/religious narcissists? I used to have a boyfriend who is a grandiose narcissist. A very bad person at it showed in the end. He broke me and my heart.

Having had so many of these people in my life has caused me such bad anxiety. I am an empath and they are so attracted to me. I've got to stay away from them, but my eldest daughter is one, and has my 3 grandchildren who I adore and who adore me. She uses them as a weapon against me & doesn't care how much she hurts them by doing it. I want to learn as much as I can about it, as I knowledge is my only defense.

You just described my grandma and several of her children. I have been told I don't talk a lot but I think it comes from having to listen to her talk for hours on end as a child.

I'm hooked... I need part two!

YES! When someone looks bored the moment you start talking, the connection isn't there and they definitely don't respect you - if they are also obsessed with themselves then they're likely on the narc spectrum.

Thank you so much for doing these videos, my mother and I watch them daily. Could you kindly also delve a little deeper into the roles that children of narcissistic fathers play. I had a brother who was the “invisible child” aka “lost child”; always quiet and staying away from the drama around the golden child and scapegoat child. Well. he committed suicide several years ago; after watching your videos and many other people’s videos here on KZfaq I am now starting to believe the dynamic of his role really affected his mental health. There are so many videos on the “golden child” and “scapegoat” but a paucity if videos on the “invisible child”. Could you please make one specifically on each?? Thank you again!!!!

Great explanation of the different kinds of narcissistic traits and behavior. Explains why my MIL family and relatives have these traits. Love the videos and has helped with the healing process and looking about the triggers of narcs behaviors.

And he was alway happy whenever I lost family members. incredible person! These videos have really made me strong for the past few months I m listening to them. Great message for everyone. Thanks.

I find your series rather fascinating. Its been several years now and I got over the harm they did. Now I find this topic very interesting from a point of view of understanding a psychology so different than mine. I used to get a bit freaked out that I began to understand how they think and worried I was one myself now I realize it is part of the recovery cycle ... to be able to put meaning behind the experience I have had. Thanks Dr. Ramani :P

Wow so happy to have found you! Life saving

Wow… this is incredibly eye-opening.

The narcissist in my life is a textbook classic narcissist. I am so grateful for this entire series that has opened my eyes to what has been going on for all these years. I am so glad I am not married to him, and that all the glitz and glamour has fallen away and now I know the truth.

Hope, fear, and guilt. I’ve written about them myself. I want her on the case.

Thank you so much for your wisdom and words. You have no idea how much you have helped me realise the GASLIGHTING, lying emotional abuse and emotional blackmail I've been suffering from by my partner the last three years. I'm strong enough to move on and realise that I'm not the 'crazy' one and that it's ok to step back when your partner refuses to acknowledge their narcissistic mother and her treatment of me. I'm was in a same sex relationship (both of us being South Asian so it was tough enough coming out) but her mother just ignores me outright. I have lost everything including friends, motivation and Identity, all by immersing myself in my partner's controlling and overbearing ways. I'm happy to be shot of it. Thank you for helping me heal. ❤️

Gawd - A slot machine. So spot on!!! So many commercials(interruptions) I can't stay focused. I'm switching over to Linux to get away from the ads. Thank you Dr. Ramani. Your videos are enlightening & very helpful.

Thank you, Dr. Ramani, for this series. You are helping me a lot.

"look at me" soliloquy -- priceless! I have been bombarded by these over my entire life, these people NEED an audience.

it is crazyyyy how real this is!!!!!!

I can see quite a bit of these attributes in me and I have no idea what to do about it. I didn't ask for me to be like this. But, it definitely is uncomfortable as hell within. But, yes. You're doing a brilliant job by exposing these traits to the world. It's time people are aware of this abusive personality. Definitely sharing.

Dr Ramani your work with glossary etc is a blessing. I started therapy today due to my ex narc whom i left safely when lockdown began( i thought that was my perfect window). Im on my way to all gd things thanks to you. Thank you n hugs

Waa! This is amazing to know. Thank God he finally pulled out weeks ago. I thankGod for pulling him out of my life. I'm just on recovery. Ada

Thanks for helping us feel sane again ❤

thank you for these videos doc .. as someone who has narcissistic tendencies, I'm starting to better understand where these types of behaviors originate from. I feel like now, I have a better chance of working towards overcoming them.

Listening repeatedly. Ramani,you are just so clear.

Thank you so much for this Dr Ramini! Myself I have around me 8, and married 2. On in each!! Its so draining!! 5 friends married to one. Man or woman..🤦🏽‍♀️ Thank you! Thank you!! Compassion is all what I have for them! But I stay away!! Thank you again for this great eyes oppening💞

Really want you to know how much good you are doing with these videos, & how much you’re helping people. I almost lost my unborn baby due to my mother’s incessant narcissism. These videos give great insight, & I personally knew when to walk away from the relationship. Thank you! 💗

Eternally grateful for the wonderful work you do, I’m listening 😇

Best video ever....it s such a pleasure to listen to you ❤️

The listening thing is absolutely the best indicator ... It's very revealing when you share a problem or feelings with someone of low empathy - usually you get dismissed or they're glib and sanctimonious like "oh you'll be fine". But when they're upset it's all the drama.

Dr. Ramani you helped me identify who I'm dealing with How I engage and encourage a bad situation Realize what it [was] is and Learn how to respond correctly and pull away. 2years of a cycle I couldn't understand. Thank you just thank you so much

Thank you for doing this Dr ! It really helps me to identify my ex partner which I was blinded by their grandiosity and love bombing during our early phase of relationship which felt superficial and fake.