"It's impossible, as a man, *who was raised right,* to be a feminist." - Bill Burr

“Don’t save her, she don’t wanna be saved”

Exactly what I lived. Especially with one of my ex girlfriends. She kept repeating that she was so lucky to have finally met a guy like me, sweet and very intelligent, and that I was so different and so much better than other men. She had met mostly abusive men. But I started to realise that it's what she liked. And that she was very abusive too. She liked to be at war with her boyfriends. First she seemed to like that I was a nice guy. But actually that meant that she could abuse me, always asking me to do things for her, for example. I owed her that. Because she was a victim. I was meant to help her, to make her happy. All the time. To save her. But worst than that, she started to despise me, saying "you're just a nice guy" and humiliating me. According to her, bad guys deserved to be loved because they suffered not to be loved, that's why they were violent, rapist, etc. Not their fault. They just needed love. But me? I didn't need love, I didn't need help, I didn't deserve her to make efforts for me like I made for her, because I was so nice, so strong, so intelligent, so brave.

Always remember, she doesn’t love you the way you want her to. Remain vigilant

Woman: “you’re different from other men” Man: “I know” Woman: “I love you” Man: “I love me, too”.

Girl: "You're not like other guys" Translation : you're not my type There I just save you time that could be better spent on your craft/hobby.

A "nice guy" is just a guy without any self-respect. There's nothing wrong with being nice. The problem is not having self-respect.

Her: "You're different than other men." Him: "How?" Her: "You keep sitting down to pee."

You just described the majority of women in their 20s....full of bad choices and judgment only for good men to deal with these issues and suffer

This is 100%. Ex used to complain about her abusive exes all the time. Said I was different! Well after we've broken up I'm now in that category of abusive men too

a woman told me this once but it was because i didn't take any sh!t from women. she told me she dated men who lacked masculinity until now. it's important to ask why she's telling you you're different

I'm presently getting a divorce. My wife was coming from an abusive relationship. I thought if i showed her love and kindness everything would be ok. Boy was i wrong. She crave abuse and arguments and when she don't get it she abused me. I took us to marriage therapy 3 times and she refuse to continue everytime. The worst part is she was the one who gave me notice. Now I'm so happy. I'm silently thanking her everyday. Since then I've been following your teaching and it's helping me to choose better the next time around.

Had a woman that I went out with in high school my senior year which was 19 years ago match me on a dating app. She said she remembered how much of gentleman I was and how kind , my response was dont insult me like that again and if she was expecting flowers and anything other than sex it wasn't going to happen. Her response "Sounds like you grew up"

"Here are all the men I like to sleep with. You are different." Enough said.

Yeah, being single is looking real good right now. I just don't want to deal.

Wish I had seen this earlier. My last girlfriend said early on "I've really only ever dated assholes" and continually said "I've never dated anyone like you". It ended as badly as the red flags indicated it would. Unfortunately I ignored them.

Whats also dangerous? A woman saying : "You're the love of my life" I wonder if she would say those same words when your wallet is empty

Her: "You are different than others." Me: "I know. But you are not"

I've never been caring for women. I'm caring because I think that's how I want to be treated. I'm caring because that should be this world works. Care and respect. But apparently, we're still stuck in our biological trap. I thought humans were intelligent. When you talk to women, you're talking to the DNA itself.

It's called idealisation. It's part of the idealisation / devaluation cycle.

Exactly this happened to me. I thought it was a good thing...then she left.

Even worse, "my kids really love you".

“Love is a gross exaggeration of the difference between one person and everybody else" -- George Bernard Shaw

So essentially the same bs as when they say "im not like other girls" 😂

An acquaintance told me "if a girl dates you she would be so lucky! I bet you'd be the perfect boyfriend". Never felt so insulted.

This man spitting nothing but pure facts

Female: "you're different from other men" Me: What gave it away? My unique fingerprints? iris prints? voice patterns? genetic profile?

Man if you could compile all your discoveries of gender dynamics in one book... il buy that book in heartbeat

As Alexander says, when women make comparisons between other guys and one is a super red flag. She has made bad choices. A woemn has to recognize that she has made bad choices, and belive me lots of them do not recognize it.

I've learned over the years through my experiences that if you really want to get to know someone, take a look at who they hang out with. There is truth to "You are judged by the company you keep."

It could also be woman speak for "I don't respect you but I'll let you be an orbiter"

Woman: "You are different from other men". Option 1: "Well, i used to be a woman". Option 2: "Of course i'm different. I'm gay".

low quality people don't understand high quality action

I've been told this even though I wasn't trying to get in her pants or be liked by her. I too thought it was positive and that it meant that i'm wise and disciplined. She even said it with a tone of admiration. Good to know that it says more about her than me.

This is spot on and happened to me. And I quote: "I've never met anyone like you in my entire life.! Then a bunch of affirming traits confirming my unicorn status. Didn't stop her from treating me like every other guy when it came time for "new excitement" though. ;)

You are right dude the reasons ARE DEPRESSING

This could have helped me 3 years ago. I know this now, needed this then. Hope someone understand this earlier.

"if you dont love me at my worst, you dont deserve me at my best" NO! no one has to endure your worst traits, unconditional love is only reserved for children and pets, not adults

Had a woman tell me this who went on to ghost me. What I decided she meant after is that I wasn't like her exes and therefore type. I remember telling a mate she sort of said it in a negative tone and I said to him that it has to be good as they were exes. We are done now... guess she wasn't ready 🤷‍♂️.

I’ve been in many relationships with women who said that. A lot of those did end up being cheaters, but not all of them. I think what happens is exactly what you said, they seek out jerks because it tricks their brains into thinking those guys must be high value and it sets up a validation reward for them to chase. So when they finally develop an attraction for a guy who isn’t like that, it seems different and confusing. Like it’s new territory they don’t know what to do with. And they’ll say the same as what a lot of people are reporting in the comments here.. “I’m so lucky, I’ve never had a guy who treats me like this” etc. They aren’t lying. They’re genuinely happy even if they eventually cave into their nature and seek out jerks. Having said all that.. I don’t know if other guys are the same but I’ve noticed a tendency in myself to value women who don’t want me over women who do. It’s something I have to actively resist and push through to start a new relationship. So I think both sexes have the exact same tendencies.. it’s just women seem to think their failures are men’s fault, where as most guys I think are eventually able to correctly identify their choosing preferences as being the problem.

If She tells you that...it's oveeer

Man, this channel is soo dark, Alexander its like a BATMAN of relationship advice...

Why are so so good to me? - Is also a huge red flag.

"If she says you're different from other men, then that means she spends most of her time being with horrible, low value, jerk guys." This. Lesson learned.

My current girlfriend of 2.5 months said this to me. Can being "special" be said from a different place? Or from a nuance of different reasons? I believe it can, but I would like to know what others and Alexander think of this. And yes, while it feels nice to hear it, I sought no such validation, nor do I let it get to me. I did not double down on my compassionate side nor did I change how I am to her. She told me "You're not your typical bad boy. You're caring and compassionate to me. You're... different." But I do believe that I fill the bad boy criteria, hence why she said I am atypical. And because of my character overall, as opposed to her dating pool prior to me. I'm strict and dominant when I feel like being or when I feel like I need to be (she loves this, and its low key the dynamics we bought sought, as we are very compatible sexually) but I also give her patience, compassion, understanding and empathy. However she knows that my love for her is conditional and that I have expectations and criterias I am not willng to bend or be flexible on. That I believe in eye for an eye and will repay hurt with hurt, and love with love. Nothing is without consequence, be it good or bad. As it should go for the both of us. I think reciprocity is key. You should give back what you are given and not more than that. The balance of power and desire should never favor one partner greatly, or ideally, at all. And if i should, let that be you. Currently the 2.5 months that I have with her are very special. But I no longer enter honeymoon phases. We vibe well as friends, and are both thinking of children one day. Unlike my past experiences, this girl has never resorted to manipulation to get what she wants, and I scrutinize and continue to scrutinize her at every step of the way. So far, she checks out wonderfully.

Girl : "You're not like other guys" Translation : I'm accustomed to, attracted to and aroused by bad boys and the rollercoaster drama and chaos they bring into my life.

Sadly when it comes to relationships use yours brain not your heart

"You're not like other men." "I feel so safe around you." Also her: I want nothing to do with you romantically. Me: Aight, bet. This was the situation I had with the only girl I've ever loved. Met a girl later on who I didn't treat nearly as well, who despite the fact that I cared for her, I simply didn't love her. She still calls me years later trying to get me back together.

But: -Most men don't understand women -You help us to understand women -then she might realize we are also different to other men, then isn't that a red flag ? Sounds a bit like a paradox.

This channel is pure gold. Every man *and* every woman should watch your videos. Great insights. Greetings from Europe.

Alexander, this is a hidden - obvious reality. Thank you for having the insight and for sharing.

This type of mentality has been me by entire dating life truth be told.. Over recent years am finally starting to deprogram this mess out of my psyche.., Great video!

Love this! You're not like other dating coaches

"You're different FROM other men" - "different TO other men" means one acts differently TOWARDS other men.

What an outstanding observation and explanation. The subject is supremely relevant. Thank you for covering this.

Great to have someone put these thoughts together so coherently!

Thanks for the tips and all the work you put in to make these videos brother

Okay this is good but can I clarify one thing? There is a difference between a woman who says, "You aren't like other guys I've dated or spent time with in the past" versus, "You aren't like other guys that I've come across just living in society" Meaning a woman can recognize that man is a good man and that doesn't mean that she's slept around or has a history of wanting bad boys. I knew my husband was different than other men just from being around guys and really from years of hearing friends complain about their boyfriends. My husband was my first boyfriend but I still knew he was different from other guys. So maybe a guy should have a woman clarify what she means when she says that. If she says something like, "Well I have 10 years of dating nothing but douchbags" then YES that is a big red flag.

Keep the good stuff up Mr. Grace, wish you all the best from Germany.

Sadly, your comments ring very true in my life. It’s very depressing. Very true. Thanks for summing it all up. You have explained a lot of questions, I have had. God bless.

Every Mig tow Pick Up Artist knows that there's magic phrases... Doesn't take much to understand that's a two-way street

He's a genius. I'm gonna take my psychology degree, return to my university, and demand my money back.

The 'feeling' you have for nuanced phraseology interpretation, is only rivalled by your ability to explain the subtlety succinctly. Such insight, brilliant vid. Thank you.

This came at exactly the right time, thanks a lot Alexander!

Am a female and I genuinely enjoy your content ❤️❤️ keep it up my G

I was told that “other guys just want talk about themselves, so I just tune them out. You’re different.” I took it as a compliment like an idiot. The rest of the sentence was- “and when you want to talk about things important to you I will tune you out too.” Be sure to think through what a woman says, she will give you warnings if you can recognize them.

Mr. Grace! You are a treasure to humanity. Keep up the good work!

You are 100% correct. I have been in this situation my whole life.

I've had women who said that, because I really am like no other man. None of them stayed. Sooner or later, they all tried to make me like other men, because they were still geared towards chasing male stereotypes. Making me like other men, or forcing me to fit a stereotype, of course never works, which of course is highly frustrating, which of course makes the woman hate me.

It's not that women don't like nice guys because they are nice it's that they don't like how weak they are. If you are a genuinely kind person who is also strong then that is what they really like.

so much useful knowledge compressed down to a few minutes.. thanks man!

Great coaching

Quality content like always, keep it going

Sadly this has been me in a nutshell for most my life

Made it! Thanks for the video, Alex! 😁

Alexander, I appreciate your work man... Your videos cause a great relief ..... Thanks to your content I felt the relief that only truth can give...thanks and keep up. (Greetings from Israel).

You're different, you're unique, you're special. Omg you're perfect & "not like my ex" Gets dumped & basically cheated on repeatedly two months later. It's amazing how intricately these concepts & my personal experiences & so many I see on this channel - fit together.

The key is to find out why they think you're different. I'm an introvert (but I'm not shy). Women sometimes say I'm different because I am not always trying to sell them on how great I am, I tend to talk about important things rather than small talk, I actually listen to them and respond to what they say, I challenge them or ask for clarification on their ideas, etc. Some tend to think I am mysterious. Early on if I think I want to continue dating a woman I explain that I am an introvert and what they can expect. This does no good. They think because I am not shy that I am not an introvert- I'm just mysterious. One woman on the first date told me she was certain I was not an introvert because I commented that she was more attractive in person than her pictures (by the way I was being honest so I assume she could tell I was being honest). In case you're wondering it is pretty great being mysterious without even trying.

Today I decided I'll watch your every single video

Damn Alexander you hit the nail on the head and then you kept hitting it until the nail disintegrated! I too fell for this lie I was told by female friends and partners and became that and once I found your videos and some similar channels I realised how wrong I was. I commend you for sharing this to all of us men out there!

When I was young, this totally baffled me. One time I asked a woman friend saying "I don't understand. I don't think women actually want good guys." She replied "Oh, yes, women really do like good guys, we just don't want to f*ck them." Now I understand.

The cold hard truth is that women dont love you but love only what you are.

A fascinating video. Thank you for the perspective you’ve provided.

So wise. Thanks for sharing It.

"It's a Threat"

Great topic Alex! I fell for that many years ago and my ego loved hearing that - then over the course of a few years (even moreso after we had a child) I was told "you're just like all the rest" - turns out she had major sexual abuse and daddy issues - despite being a great dad after kicking her out of my life and doing 50/50 with our son she has alienated him against me. Let this be a lesson to all men who hear that phrase said to them. And by the way, being a sensitive caring nice guy was not my mating strategy (which was rarely successful) it was just who I was - I can assure you I am no longer a 'nice guy' to women (not that I'm mean to them) - after what I have been through I just don't care anymore. At age 46 my aging parents and my brainwashed alienated son deserve my time and energy more than some woman - even the nicest ones are so entitled and self deluded it's not funny. And men allowed them to get this way and continue to be so...

excellent psychological insight! it would be awesome if you could make a video on retroactive jealousy in this context...

YOURE GIVING ME DEJA VU

"you're different from other guys".... I've had both extremes. 1. I was much younger... way dumber... and craving attention from the opposite sex... ANY attention. That was the most abusive relationship I ever had. She definitely was the girl who kept bad company, and I was the exception that she wanted to use and control. 2. After I entered my 30's.... becoming much more confident in myself through advancing in my professional life... Now, I am married to a woman who is my lover, my partner, and my friend. To her, I was also still a "nice guy" and "different than others"... but she wasn't looking for a relationship as a method of "validation" for attention she had not received previously...

Binging your videos eventhough they don't relate to me lol

im now called "asshole" regularly. i did it!

Best video. I see this over and over. Great advice also. Brilliant

I have heard things like "It's the patriarchy's fault why I'm this and that..." and I tried to believe her... Looking back I'm so glad I'm out!

I remember this girl that told me those exact words. So i decided ask her "so you're trying to telling me that i need to be like everyone else? Or is there something weird about me?" That caught her offguard and she had to explain herself what she was meaning by that. She even thought i was offended and apologized. I was never offended, i just wanted to know why she thought that way. I hate to say this, but most women truly don't think before they speak. But if you make them think, you can start finding the interesting ones among the bunch.

This man is legendry! Huge respect sir🙏

“In what way specifically?” Is basically the gist of the response I have to these type of comments

Alexander, you have no mercy to us, women. 😜 Brilliant insights as always. Keep up the good work you’re doing for men. I hope I’ll meet one day one of those high quality man. ☺️

If a woman tells you men are terrible that is not based on all men but instead its about the men she chooses to spend time with. Its a red flag in the same way as someone complaining about their friends going prison.

Brilliant observations👍