One of the terms associated with this is called 'Revenge bedtime procrastination', where people deliberately stay up late in order to do things they cannot during the day.

this is precisely the reason I've become a night owl back when I got into puberty. I'm afraid I might have asperger's and the people I live with are so loud and short-tempered that living through the day with them was exhausting, so I ended up fucking up my sleep cycle so I could have some hours of peace and quiet. Unfortunately I'm not even close to financial independence so I'll have to keep enduring a routine that is detrimental to my own health.

sheesh that sounds all too familiar. Normally if I don't stay up like I normally would, I start to feel like I didn't get enough me time to just do whatever I wanted.

Sounds like my relationship with my neighbors

This is a form of revenge bedtime procrastination. If you can manage it, going to bed really early and getting up really early is even better, because you get to _start_ your day with that amazing sense of freedom. But I understand not everyone can do that especially when you’re avoiding people in your household who need you awake until the moment of their (fairly late) bedtime. I used to be up until at the earliest 2-3 AM, but sometimes 4, 6, or even 8. It was nice watching the sun rise.

What time do you go to bed and what time do you wake up?

@@BOSSDONMAN I went from 1am-7am to 11pm-5am on week days. Still not 8 hours, I know. :(

@@imacds if you're willing to do 10:30 and 5:30 instead - you get up to 7 without too much of a change in when you go to bed. How long did it take you to finalize the changes in schedule?

You also might not actually be so much of a night owl if waking up early nice. I obviously don’t know anything about your life from a comment but do what makes you feel best

@@anikarix7736 The waking up still sucks and I still get little done for the first few hours in the morning. What I like about it is it causes me to get my peak energy earlier in the day so I can do more things with it.

Better late than never. Maybe this is a bad vibe, but how fortunate would it be to die as the healthiest, most you version of you?

500th Like! 🙌🇨🇦

Hey there, your comment is about a year old now. But I'm about 25 now! Is there one piece of advice you would give to your own 25 year old self? Thanks! :D

Me too actually. At first, it was a psychological issue that I wasn't getting as much time in my awake hours. But honestly, being more energetic with a little less time is better than being awake longer with low energy

It’s literally so aggravating to have people telling you how much sleep you DON’T need. My friends make fun of me for needing 8 or 9 hours

Me too. Whenever I don't set an alarm I sleep somewhere between 9-10 hours and I feel great every time. And it feels like I am sleep deprived when I sleep 7-8 hours :'). And that sucks, because If I want to wake up early (5 am), I have to be asleep by like 8 pm...

Same here, without 8-9 hours sleep i feel terrible and hate the world lol.

i did that one time and woke up standing up yelling and crying and was so fucking confused... so weird to expereince. i was strung out pretty bad the days before that which probably is why it happened but damn i felt sop like fucked up after that idk how to explain it.

Same. I’ve found that showering at someone else’s house helps. If I don’t have to get ready at my house, I have an easier time doing things. I get ready at my parents’ house most of the time to combat this. Maybe try that if possible.

Is your environment tidy? I tend to hoard or just hang onto too much for too long due to anxiety. I have found that cleaning out one small space and then keeping that space clean, vacuuming around all the piles help and then I can move onto another very small area a week or two later to expand the area that is ordered helps me feel accomplished and like things are a little less chaotic. If it’s not that, ask yourself why you feel that way. Are the colors dark and sad? do you just not like where you live? Do you not like who you live with? Is there anything you can do to bring some of the outside in? What’s making you happy in the outside world and how can you bring more of that feeling into your space?

Lighting and decoration can go a long way in energizing and setting the right mood. It may be you just don't like your apartment and need to work on it.

Oh my god i thought i was the only one

same here. and my environment is mainly tidy. i’m not sure why it is but my home environment has me in the slumps!

Delicious!

How... does drinking coffee result in a glucose crash? Coffee doesn't have glucose in it by default.

Might also want to get checked for sleep apnea. Sometimes you can "sleep" for 12 hours and get no real rest.

I genuinely believe the perfect timing is him and his team scrolling through reddit/youtube and discord feedback to see what people need the most at the moment. If it were only coincidence I'd be surprised

​@@cosmictraveler731 did you even watch the video? 💀

You'll also have more energy if you work out.

@@shaysc5896 True, but I don't usually post on those things :P coincidence for me, at the least

Also another thing that Dr k has mentioned is trying to stay off your phone for at least an hour after you wake up, Additionally I've experienced putting off caffeine for an hour or two after waking up helps with energy

Same, but when I wake up I'm usually so dehydrated that getting some water seems like too much work

Andrew Huberman also suggests putting a bit of salt in your water in the morning to assist neurons to fire more effectively. Helps with focus and mitigate mental fatigue. It's been a daily practice for me ever since I heard it. Highly recommend.

@@ANameIDontKnow that doesnt make sense. if anything it should be a higher priority.

@@CarefulHowYouStep I mean, I don't know what to tell you lol, of course it's not logical. I wake up and know I should drink something to feel awake, but getting up seems like too much effort so I just fall asleep again, making it worse. When I eventually do get up I first need to autopilot a shower to be awake enough and immediately drink almost a full litre of water. FWIW that was when I was also pretty depressed, I actually fixed my sleeping problems with something totally unrelated.

Hey I have adhd and struggle with some of the same problems and here is my opinion on the subject. I think that sometimes when we look at other people that have healthy lifestyles that we struggle to get close to maintaining, we think of it as an all or nothing thing, in my experience especially in the last year this is just not the right approach. I think a healthy lifestyle is built on a number of healthy habits that are just that, habits. My approach has been to over time add more healthy habits to my toolbelt. The first one was wake up time. Dr K talked about this before but it really resonated with me. Something along the lines of, "if you want to fix your sleep schedule you have to get up at the same time before you can go to sleep at the same time". Anyways, the way I did that was with an app called alarmy. I have it set to only be turned off by scanning the bar code on the bottle of mouthwash in my bathroom. I also keep my phone away from my bed, so when it goes off I get out of bed, go to the bathroom to turn it off, then to the kitchen and don't go back to bed. For nearly my entire life I've been the type that during summer vacation I would end up sleeping in until 11, then noon, then 2, 3 4... Now I get up consistently around 8:15-:9:15 depending on the day. My younger self wouldn't believe me. My point is though that yes, I do have adhd which is a significant roadblock, but using this app as well as being consistent with it over time has helped me to build it from something very difficult into a daily habit that I don't think too much of. Another habit I picked up was moving from energy drinks to green tea in the morning. I'm not perfect so yes, I'll have a week where I find myself craving one, but because I am building on top of my other healthy habits, it is a pyramid with a strong foundation, and not a structure which is prone to all come tumbling down at once. In terms of food, I'm right there with you. I have to remind myself that although adhd does make it more difficult to have healthy habits, I can't frame it as impossible or else what is even the point? Also the expectations of your health put on you by other people are super unfair. Fuck em. Don't do it for them, do it for yourself. Not even to prove them wrong just because you're worth putting the (extra extra) effort towards self improvement. Some people have it easier, but even for those people it won't be apparent from the outside when they are struggling. It's easy to construct an idea in our minds of "if only we had this trait that they have, it would be so much easier", but at the end of the day it just isn't a productive way to frame the whole thing to yourself. Best of luck though I hope maybe something here will give you something to think about.

I kept hearing that ADHDers thrive o routine while it's so so hard to set up and stick to at first. And I couldn't make sense of it. Then someone said something and it clicked. The reason why routines work for ADHDers is none other than automation! And we neeeed automation because of how we regulate attention differently. We need automation to have less cognitive load on the many small and big daily tasks. So, don't think of routimes the same way neurotypicals present them. We need them in a different way and thus ADHD routines are different. I think it's mostly about optimizing our environment so that the good stuff is super easy and the bad stuff is super hard but also having several scenarios of action already thought through and prepared. What helps you in terms of actions and what helps you in terms of environment - automate that as much as possible. That' the ADHD way of routines. That's how I make sense of it.

Don't worry about "supposed" to. A person with ADHD can hold a routine generally, but a person with ADHD will have their routine very easily interrupted. The biggest challenge for a person with ADHD in holding a routine is the feeling of shame and failure that happens when that routine is interrupted. So maybe you try to follow a routine for 5 days, and you are successful, then the 6th day something comes up that makes you forget it, then the 7th day you don't do it too. On the 8th day you remember, but you feel like a worthless loser who can never do anything right and how could you be so stupid to think you could follow a routine, so since you've failed now, you give up. Or you force yourself to try again on the 8th day, and it's super hard, and the 9th day it's harder, and all the while you know you'll never keep up with it. There's a couple of things happening here. One is that we easily get swept up in things that really captivate us. This not only pulls us from our routine, it causes us to screw up our sleep, it causes us to use up our mental stores, we essentially crash afterwards, and after a crash, that drained feeling itself can cause us to tend to feel kind of just "bad". If we already have a tendency to feel ashamed and worthless, this bad feeling will feed into that super easily. It's also going to want to push us to be inactive to recharge, and hating ourselves and telling ourselves we've failed and shouldn't bother is a pretty effective way to stop trying, and stopping trying will fill that need to be inactive, so we will get into THAT habit. The other thing is that it's just that we have a tendency to put ourselves into a sort of fight or flight mindset a lot, we do this to push us to act sometimes, using deadlines and caffeine and intense situations to control our ability to focus, because it's hard to control our focus when things aren't threatening us. When in this mental state we have a tendency towards black and white thinking, we're either passing or failing, and we will consider that we fail. Such as "know for a fact that I cannot be trusted to be responsible for healthy actions". We can easily be doomers. When you say something like "know for a fact that I can't" it's a cop-out. It means you have decided you don't need to try anything different and you've built this as a justification. Any suggestions will be shot down out of pessimism, and you won't bother looking for solutions any more yourself. You've failed too many times already and feel bad about it, and you're afraid that trying again will just be another failure. It's not worth trying. A lot of this comes from comparison. You think that other things that other people do are "so easy" for them. It's not fair. So why try? It might be hard for you. It might be unfair. But we can do hard and unfair things. And things that we practice get easier. Will it get as easy as someone else? Probably not. There's more extreme language. To meet others standards of healthy they project on to me, I would have to restructure my ENTIRE life, 24 hours a day, track EVRY MINUTE. This is not really true. Most people are actually bad at being healthy. With ADHD we are really sensitive to the judgment of others, because we feel like we're failures. But for ANYONE to meet the healthy standard that you imagine is being demanded of you, it would be nearly impossible. Similarly, if you want to brush your teeth every day, does this mean you need to restructure your entire 24 day and track every minute of your life to do it? Of course not. Does this make you the paragon of perfect health? No. But is it possible to do something without being perfect and not feel like a failure? A secret about how people without ADHD handle things: They spend less energy worrying about the things we do. If they forget to brush their teeth for a few days because they're busy, they have bad breath, and then they brush their teeth when they remember. If we forget to brush our teeth for a few days, we feel like a complete failure who can't do the basic things that everyone else finds simple, and when we go to brush our teeth, we think, "what's the point, I'm never going to keep this routine up anyways, I'm completely hopeless, and this is so painful to force myself to do, I've got to fix myself, and then I'll be able to brush my teeth, but fixing myself is impossible, I wish it was just easy like everyone else." There's this combined with the fact that we're far more likely to forget to brush our teeth for a few days, and maybe it ends up being weeks instead of days, or months. But it's not just the forgetting, its the hating ourselves that comes after. Or the new strategy we try to fix it for real this time. Or the worrying about how it's easy for other people and hard for us. For other people, it's just brushing teeth, there's no internal existential crisis. But look at the people without ADHD, they're not all as successful, as healthy, as thin and perfect as you expect yourself to be if not for the condition. In fact, I think they're pretty much in line with most people with ADHD. An external evaluation of an individual with ADHD won't show them to be much different than the general population, there's people without ADHD who perform worse than people with ADHD, there's people without ADHD who are fatter, who are underweight, who don't get in a relationship, who are unemployed, who get fired, who don't graduate college, whatever. The person with ADHD is right on the same curve as everyone else. The biggest difference here is that I would say universally that the people with ADHD feel ashamed. They feel like regardless of where they are on the curve, the SHOULD be higher up. I'm healthy, but I SHOULD be healthier. I'm employed but I SHOULD be performing better. I graduated, but I SHOULD have been able to do it with less effort or luck. I'm not overweight, but I SHOULD be able to work out to have a 6 pack. Or I'm not morbidly obese, but I SHOULD be a healthy weight. I graduated high school but I SHOULD have been able to graduate college. I'm unemployed but I SHOULD be employed. I'm unhealthy, but I SHOULD be healthy. It's hard with ADHD. We fall into the hole, and we panic, we feel ashamed and we start with the black and white thinking. All or nothing. Perfect or failure. Intense sensitivity to any acknowledgement of our faults. A fault means we're worthless. If you want to start a routine, I can tell you how. Get a notebook, write down the thing you are going to do on a line. Now do the thing, and to the right of that word, put a check mark. If you want, above that check mark, you can write the date. Now, decide you're going to do that again, and the next time you think about it, do the thing and put a check mark on to the right of the first one, write the date above if you want. Put the notebook in a place where you will be doing the thing, or where you will be generally going past. Sometimes you will remember to do the thing at an awkward time. Like maybe you're remembering to do the thing just before you should leave for work. You can choose to do it anyways and be late for work, you can choose not to, both is ok. Maybe you intended to do it in the morning and you forget until you get home, you can do it then, or you can not. I like to suggest that you don't put a date on. If you have a date on it, you see how many times you failed. Instead, just farm check marks. If you see the old book sitting with an inch of dust on it don't feel ashamed that you failed to maintain yet another routine, just go do the thing and put down another check mark. This isn't a way to maintain a routine at 100% adherence. But this is really the first thing, don't try to. If you only do the thing on 10% of the days, you did it 10% of the days. I've been working out for like 4 years on a 3 day a week schedule. The past 5 weeks I've worked out 2 times. The schedule is still the same. The thing is I am doing it with a workout partner who doesn't have ADHD, and he has missed the same number as I have. There's a lot of work that I do to not feel like a complete failure for it, while he doesn't think about it. He's actually grateful for ME for keeping HIM working out all this time. The big difference is I think I SHOULD be able to work out regularly on routine 3 times a week like a normal person, and he doesn't think about it.

So you're the target demographic for those food prepping and delivery servies that would make absolutely no sense in the past :D If you have the money then by all means sign up to live like Winston Churchill. IMO the best meals are ones cooked for you by family, significant other, friends etc. No ammount of money can purchase the good energy and love people put in their cooking for you, and so is the feeling of serving and cooking for family and friends. I think what you call strengths that therapists require would be better termed personal responsabilities. Just because some have it naturally or easier doesn't mean they are better as a human in any way, they may be a better adult, yes, but this is stuff you can learn, and learning isn't one straight preselected path. How you learn can look completely backwards to how I learn yet you may get the same or better results as I. A good point and well articulated by another commenter zeidrichthorene, is to not compare your routines or lack of routines with others, these sorts of comparisons only end badly.

I have extreme ADHD as well, and reading a wall of text like that takes me forever. Keep it short. Also, my cardiologist told me ADHD meds are terrible for your heart. Just a heads up.

Going to try that!

im going to try that as well! just out of curiosity, how much melatonin do you take?:)

Ooh okay, I shall try this

@@Mienarrr usual dose is 3mg/night

@@Mienarrr 5mg. It comes in 2mg, 5mg and 10mg

🫂

If it feels that severe and it's been happening for a while you should really try to see a doctor. You might have something like anemia or a vitamin deficiency which can be easily fixed (hoping that's what it is for you). I have fibromyalgia which is not fixable (just lifestyle management) and makes me severely tired

same. i think this isrelated to the ayurvedic system of the Kapha or earth/water dosha. slow starting, desirable to try and wake up at 6 am or earlier. i don'tk know if i can do it but i want to

Wut

Same. I have to leave at 7:30 am so I get up at 5:30 putter around drink decaf scroll my phone read light candles talk to my man. Just the fact that I don’t have to do the whole getting ready routine all at once makes it easier to get up. Then, in bed after some magnesium glycinate, by 10:15 or so. As good as it gets to better align with civilization.

@@sunshinelivelyThis sounds like something that could really help me… thanks for enacting your wisdom.

Same I do it as well. As it's recommended to do this in Islam.

medschool and india xD

how did you find your sense of purpose?

@@melliechris it is incredibly hard to explain, but it boils down to making sure those around me remember me positively. Living each day as if this is the last time I’ll see someone.

😶

Just curious, when you were low energy and dehydrated, how often did you urinate and what color was your urine generally? Was it a clear or light yellow color? Or was it pretty dark color, smelly, cloudy, etc?

@@TominationTime toilet needs in general were one a day or one every two days (I thought it was normal) urine dark yellow, and most of the time I'd struggle with getting any appetite at all, I just ate because I knew I had to and felt heavy and a lot of nausea afterwards (that appetite thing is what led doctors to believe maybe I was dehydrated or malnourished and checked those two things first)

So that is a metabolism problem like the video explain

@@aquiles846 the basic root was that I forget about my basic needs, but I don't really know if forgetting to drink water would affect the metabolism

This happened to me when yt first suggested me the channel too, and I follow every video ever since, they are all great! I've learned so much with dr K, you have no idea, I really suggest you to subscribe

Welcome!

Yeah I always had a feeling that my circadian rhythm was messed up but his explanation made so much sense. Unfortunately when he said being productive at 4-6am means you have a normal rhythm, you just need to wake up earlier, I was disappointed because I am most productive between 8pm and 2am. At 4-6am I am completely useless. You won’t get me to be productive until around 10am at all. And even then I’ll still feel tired. I actually already do a lot of the things he says - I eat a small snack only in the mornings with only decaf coffee. Small to medium lunch mostly salads and soups, not carb heavy. I drink a coffee about half an hour or an hour after lunch. And it’s ok but I feel tired every day. And then I get home and around 8pm I’m suddenly wide awake and have all this energy. I used to go to the gym after work which helped a little to make me more tired earlier in the evening but I’ve never in my life managed to fall asleep before midnight and usually not before 1am. When I work overtime on weekends, I sleep until 11am or noon, start work at around 3pm and finish around midnight (or 2am if really busy) and I’m so much more productive and happy. Wish that was an option.

@@soupz5510 The only way I found to really make the most of it is to go my own way in creative industries, freelance work and non typical hours. I prefer jobs where I can stay up all night and then not work for a week or more. Or gig work where you do a months work as hard as you can and have your money saved for the year. Or starting a small business where you are in charge of your success. So you have to make a life where 8-2am has no consequences and you can take advantage of your peak hours of attention. Think about it. Some people had to guard the tribes while the rest of mankind slept. Night owls have existed since the dawn of mankind, and are not flawed but have a distinct survival advantage in a world where predators come out at night.

@@soupz5510 Lately I can't fall asleep til it's 2 to 4 am. Send help. I'm pretty sure I'm a night owl but because of work, I'm not allowed to find what works best.

Same. Saw the graph and thought this is exactly my situation. I've been trying very hard to get used to day shifts over the last few years, avoiding sleeping late on weekends and always getting 7-8 hours of sleep. It helps regulate waking up early naturally, but I feel more and more like a dead body going through the day, like it is just slowly killing me.

😮 great info! I didn't know about that, thanks!

can confirm, started running 2-5km everyday, after few days i felt so energetic like if i was constantly drinking redbull or something

Also, exercise triggers the release of endorphins and adrenaline which energize you. Exercise also causes some damage to your body that must be repaired during sleep, so you sleep more deeply after exercise. So you are less drowsy in the morning. Exercise is a cure for so many things. Sometimes we don’t wanna admit the cure is simple.

I’m more tired in the days where i had more physical activity like working out. The advice to spend more energy to get more energy does not seem to work for me. Been trying for years.

@@iromanovsky It just sounds to me like normal fatigue. Like, yes if you work out you'll have less energy afterwards, your blood sugar dips and your ion channels in muscles are depleted. But with regular work out you should have overall more energy than if you didn't work out regularly. If not, it could be an actual health issue.

I can second that experience, I'm currently finding ways to restore nervous system functionality through rest, relaxation and breath work, as well as being regularly active and eating healthy/no alcohol or caffeine, but it's still a battle Hope you're doing well

I started buproprion (Wellbutrin) in same kind of situation and got energy immediately. And if you have also gained weight and your legs are heavy, this medicine might be accurate. Also Mysimba has buproprion and naltrexone, which helps with trauma dissociation. And helps loose gained weight.

I sort of do that. I also stop and analyze if the task will benefit me as well. It usually does. For example, the couch is dirty and I'm embarrassed about guests sitting on it. After some thought, I realize that I don't like sitting on the dirty couch myself, so I do it. I'm actually glad to do it once I realize it's not people pleasing and I want the couch to be clean for me.

Sam

Felt

Pretty sure COVID did that to me also. I didn't get it bad. Just a couple days in bed, coughing. But ever since, just lost my get up and go.

Damn that does also sound extreme and abnormal. Having to deal with ex friends who you can't get away from without a lawsuit would be draining for anyone, as well as not having a stable living situation. I hope you get to a more stable place soon and are able to get some rest.

The first point is big. I do have a home, but I share my space with two other people and this takes away all potential for relaxation in my case. Having space for oneself is a very underrated need in my opinion.

I have 1, 3 and 5, sometimes some or all at the same time._

Sounds like you're the problem.

@@ekjdjfjfjf 1. And it took a year and a half to resolve.

Reliefed would mean you feel like a carved picture. I think you mean relieved.

@@thegreenxeno9430 i think he meant received

@@deadflesh1000 I think he meant reprieved for sure

@@hugoeriksson983 clearly you are wrong, he meant to say retrieved as in he was taken back after being kidnapped

Nobel Prize worthy for sure.

Same for me. I feel like I’m general our circadian rhythms aren’t meant for the modern day or job…

I feel you, similar boat here. I hope you’re feeling better since you left this comment but just in case you’re not-take a deep breath. You got this, and even on days when you don’t got this that’s okay too. You’re going to be okay. 💚 If you want, you can write down all this stuff as a checklist, right. Heck, if you’re too tired to do that I’ll reply with the list so you can just copy and paste. And then just start with whichever one seems most interesting or has the most potential for benefit and start with a 30 day trial. One thing at a time. One foot in front of the other.

it may be rough now but your building twards a better future! its never easy to get the things we want in life but they are worth it :) you can pull through just keep up the hard work! also its ok to have bad days and cry or have the occasional meltdown, it helps get the stress buildup out of our system so dont feel like your weak for that, your already doing alot! something i heard that made me feel a little better was "your doing the best you possibly can at any moment" some days better than others but your still trying no matter what

If you get whole wheat berries (or other grains) and mill them fresh, then make bread from scratch (how people did it for thousands of years) then it's much healthier for your system and probably won't have a problem with gluten. The modern way flour is processed and made into bread is a big part of many health problems.

Known carcinogen, work hazard and shown in epidemiological studies repeatedly to shorten lifespan.

What are your symptoms, and how did you get diagnosed? Is it related to Epstein Barr? I've felt exhausted for years, but tested negative for sleep apnea. I'm at a loss.

@@dedmor1 im curious too

I had this same thing very badly through my 20s and 30s. My cycles went 26-28 hours, so getting up at the same time every day was impossible. Being a night owl you can at least get a 2nd or 3rd shift job.

literally nothing to do with that but aight

Can you elaborate on what you mean by “misogynistic”? I wanna understand you but that word choice is tripping me up, honestly

@@GoshOhGosh For younger men, there are many male content creators that push an "us vs them" paradigm. Us being traditional masculine men being oppressed or marginalized by "feminism" or "LGBT mafia" etc as if social standing is a zero sum game. Meaning they push a narrative that when for example gay people want representation in media or games, it's a woke agenda being "shoved down their throats" when in reality it's a group of people fighting for an equal playing field.

@@GoshOhGosh Imagine a compound in which only people with white shirts reside. All of the sudden people with brown shirts and rainbow shirts start showing up. Some of the people inside with white shirts start accepting them but some feel that they're being invaded. Perhaps even there's a conspiracy to replace white shirts entirely. But if the white shirt people have never left this compound to the outside world or don't even know of its existence, it might make sense to feel invaded upon. This is why we need more mature educators, media literacy and better standards as a society. Things like maturity, diplomacy and politeness have lost to the loud, angry "telling it like it is" style commentators. We have to fix this.

​@@misterbrickestnot sure why we're talking about gays. And yes, There's a substantial, heavy handed push for a homosexual present in all media, to where it's at a minimum deliberate.

why would you get headaches? do you ever get them during the day or just when sleeping?

@@Davidgopaint from not being able to breath and the constant adreniline rushes from sleep apnea most likley

Have you ever awakened in paralysis and not been physically able to take a breath, would that be something that would occur with apnea?

Lucky! Would kill to be you. Go out and live for the rest if us 😂😂

I got diagnosed with Crohn's but even in remission the debilitating exhaustion has never gone away and my life is ruined because of it