As a rule of thumb; you'll know your dealing with a narcissist because you will a sense that the natural flow of healthy conversation will be absent.

The narcissist doesn't admit they're ever wrong. Its always someone else's fault.

Also imagine having a enemy who acts like they love you… it’s true

They were constantly telling me, "I know we have issues...but I care about you..." And yet, they were constantly devaluing me. Amazing.

This is one I deal with all the time: She tries to pick a fight. I respond with just the slightest hint of frustration in my voice. She immediately comes back with, "What's wrong with you? Why are you yelling?". I quietly respond, "I'm not yelling or even raising my voice." Her: "Just because you don't raise your voice doesn't mean you aren't yelling!"

One thing I encountered routinely was "If you really cared about me/loved me you would be doing A, B, C...." Then when I would run through the litany of concrete ways I regularly and happily helped her out--giving money endlessly, buying basic needs, spending hours working on her business issues with her (pulling away from my work to do so), providing resources to help her with her goals, dropping everything to tend to her needs, shuttling her around, etc., and then provided tangible evidence of showing affection and giving affirmation and DEMONSTRATING my love--after all this I would hear "Well those are just obvious and basic ways any human would help another human--that is the bare minimum of caring" and "I don't deny you said and did those things, but you also [insert way I've failed her even though I've apologized a thousand times for it and changed as a result]. Literally nothing was ever enough or good enough, or she just would flat out ignore all I'd done.

My Ex convinced me for years that I had bad memory, that I would even tell people that I cant remember anything, in turn I started relying on him to remember things for me. Being out of the relationship I now realize that I have no problem with my memory, I was just dealing with a toxic, Evil person. Thank God for opening my eyes

There is no mutual closure or resolution possible with most toxic people except going no contact and setting strong boundaries.

Examples in no particular order. 1. Selective Amnesia 2. Rewrite history 3. Put words in your mouth 4. - False accusation Triangulate 5. Moving goalposts 6. Play on your fears, provoke. 7. Their actions do not match their words. 8. Devaluation, invalidate 9. Isolate 10. This is not about you The most harmful one that every ClusterB will use is intermittent reinforcement. Other examples: double bind, control freakery, deliberately misunderstanding you, repeating you in false set of order, giving you uninportant gifts and overexaggurate the meaning of it.

The truth to a narcissist is whatever they believe in their heads to be true no matter how twisted. The best lies are the ones with a thread of truth woven in. They know this. Also, lying by omission, leaving out key elements, is the same as lying by commission. It's still lying

They'll repeat what you said to them calling them out in a prior argument. Trying to gaslight you into thinking YOU are doing what they are actually doing because you brought it up before. So now they're beating you to the punch to try and confuse you.

Amazing how you dissected the narcissist, I’m barely coming out of a relationship with a narcissistic woman, all true made me feel that everything was my fault, and penalty I always had to reward her, a real demon seed.

"You never remember anything properly" "I told you ......." "No, that never happened" "It's all in your head"

One thing I notice that narcissists do is bring out one's *own* narcissistic traits through their crazy-making behavior, then use that to accuse you of being selfish. One of the tactics you mentioned above, number 8, the "why are you reacting like this? Why are you blowing things out of proportion," is something I found myself having to say in response to some of the seemingly bizarre overreactions my narcissistic partner would have (though I never used words like "always"). But she would create a drama out of nothing (I'm looking out a window at passersby, she accuses me of ogling women, for example). It would happen frequently--to the point where every conflict we had was because of an issue she created, often out of thin air. So I found myself saying things like no. 8.

My birth mother held a knife to my neck and said "YOU SEE THIS KNIFE?! I AM GOING TO KILL YOU!!" because I refused to do the extra math homework she assigned me as punishment for disobeying her twisted ways. I grew up in foster care and she denies this ever happened, multiple times. There is no limit to what these types of people will do, and I had no idea they existed until I was 33. Thank the Good Lord I am free of this and my heart goes out to all who are going through thus horrific experience. 🙏🧿🙏

the narc actually made me believe I was going crazy or had mental issues, she actually told me it "will be ok" she would go to treatment with me. I thank God who gave me the strenght to get out and the eyes to realize what kind of person she was.

I experienced this craziness and changes you in ways that require healing in order to overcome and move forward. I wasted almost 15 years running this cycle with a woman and I'm blessed to be out and getting life back. It's a sick mindfuck. That smirk they give...and the triangulation used to set me off. "Everybody else thinks and sais this about you" straight up assholian people.

Once you realize your dealing with one .....Just Walk away quickly and don't look back! They will lead to a slow agonizing death of self!

Here's something that might help someone. My sister was married to an abuser, maybe a narcissist. Every time we'd visit we had to endure his verbal abuse of her and no amount of persuasion would get her to stand up for herself or leave him. If she did stand up for herself, later when no one was there to witness, the abuse would turn physical so it's understandable that she would just be quiet. She told me as she was finally leaving him, some 20+ years into their marriage, that she lamented one day that no one came to visit often anymore and that he responded to her that everyone in her family obviously thought she was a bitch (probably one of the nicer things he'd say to her, btw, and sorry for the language). Well, she said she knew he was lying then because she knew we, her sisters, loved her. She's out of that now and doing very well for herself.

18 months and I still feel I am at fault I know the terrible things she said to me like I have accomplished nothing with my life, I was over sensitive, controlling, a bully, a victim, the elephant in the room, insecure, immature....it never stopped. I feel broken and messed up. I loved my wife and her kids. I did everything for them. Feeling lost.

They will shame you , without even naming what they think you did - You've done enough! You've burn't your bridges. They will use an angry tone whenever they speak to you - no matter what they are speaking about. They will question what you tell them, as though there is something hideous in the neutral thing that you just told them. They will accuse you, by asking an insinuating question, rather than asking you directly. Their tone is accusing. That way they can deny it later - most things are indirect and passive aggressive. They will tazer you emotionally, whenever you show that you exist , so that you slink back to the naughty chair, and only speak when spoken to . They will shun you, refuse to look you in the eye , and refuse to answer you when you speak. They will exclude you , and speak about how everyone else is on the same team and doing a great job - but you are not included.

My son married into a covert narc cult , I had unknowingly entered the yoyo game giving my son large sum of money a car and varies household goods thinking I was helping them. On the arrival of grandchildren my sons wifelet and her mother cut us out just before Christmas and the day after my daughter took a fit and collapsed. I believe that they have done this for maximum effect and to get me and my wife into a trauma bond. He has used a false fall out with my wife as an excuse to cut of ties. My wife and myself have decided not to play the begging game and have went no Contact I will not go back and pretend nothing has happened 9 months has passed. My son is brainwashed beyond hope, you can only rescue those who wish to be saved. The covert Narc has him in her evil spell , both me and my wife have decided to save ourselves and jump in the lifeboat.

they know exactly how to piss you off "triggered", when you confront them, they become the victim of your abuse, and never acknowledge that they started the contention, if anything, use the situation for their "he's/she's crazy" campaign

I would have saved a small fortune in therapy if I had only seen this video 8 years ago. Most therapists are not conversant with this subject. So many many hours of wasted therapy seeing how I could be a better man to be with this women who is a lost cause. Thankfully I found the courage to leave even though we had a 2 year old daughter together. Phew what a ride. Now we are co-parenting which is a totally CRAZY thing to navigate but way better than being in a relationship with her. The gaslighting continues! Thanks Lisa.

"All of your coworkers think you are crazy" "You really hurt me"...over something that is rationally and truly trivial for a normal human. 😢

She would always say it's not like that. But it was like that and so much more.

Those last few points is what I’ve been experiencing my entire relationship with the past narc in my life. So glad to be free, still sad to have experienced such a loss.

They step over boundaries like they were never there in the 1st place

It’s almost never a negotiation unless you cave to their feelings entirely and buy their justification entirely. And in the beginning of any tiff if you have something to say about it, rebuttal, or standing up for yourself, they ask why you always make things a big deal, even when they obviously turned up the heat in response to you not placating to the narcissism. Oh man, that one sets me off. Lol

This is classic "Gaslighting"

All so true 😥 I have been on the receiving end of this for many years. I have taken professional help, and when I did my partner told me to find another one as the one I had was making things worse 😳 Thank you again for your videos 🇬🇧

My covert narcissist loved to roll her eyes and the look of disdain said it all.

My "favorite" tactic was when I would try to calmly bring up an important discussion. She would then claim something false, let's call it 'falsehood A'. I would spent twenty minutes debunking it until it would be irrefutable. Then she would throw me a "well, how about three weeks ago when you said ..." followed by falsehood B. Then I would spend twenty minutes debunking falsehood B. At this point, she would simply recycle falsehood A again and so on. At the end one of two things would happen: 1) I would lose it and yell, to which she would respond was a smirk of satisfaction with a "Look at you! How angry you get!" 2) I would keep my cool, try to bring the conversation to a peaceful resolution, and she would clench her teeth and yell "You wasted my whole evening you A...hole!"

I have a schizoid personality and I just cut the narc off in the end. Emails automatically to trash and phone numbers blocked. It wasn't worth it enduring the lies, gas lighting and walking on eggshells.

I can’t believe how accurate your descriptions are of my late wife. Your words are so validating of my experience with her.

I really do feel disabled, that’s a perfect description

I don't know if anyone here has experienced this before, but I actually had a female friend, is a covert narcissist, go into a narcissistic rage text, accusing me of being the narcissist in projecting everything she's done on to me after I called her out on her extreme passive aggressiveness, her mind games and A lie I caught her in..... She pretended like she didn't even know what I was talking about, she tried to gaslight me, and even though I have always done everything to be a loving, kind, compassionate person to her and to my family and everyone else, then she said that that I was actually doing to her all the things that she's actually doing to me..... I have never been through this before, I feel like I'm in an alternate reality right now, I don't know how to handle this. It's very very unhealthy and it stresses me out.... I told her that the basis for a healthy friendship is clear honest communication, zero passive aggressiveness, and honesty, but she will not admit to any of the things that she has done, and I cannot continue a friendship with someone who plays poisonous mind games with me and my family. It's very disturbing, I don't know how I was tricked by her..... I feel like a fool for opening up and being vulnerable to someone that I thought was my friend. ;(

Incredibly accurate description of the relationship I had with my spouse. She took George Costanza's advice, "It's not a lie, if you believe it."

Been there done that. My narcissist mother's stage 4.5 cancer diagnosis & subsequent passing was a blessing in disguise.

"I never said that" used to work a lot more often before the advent of texting. Now you have it in black and white. My last gf (a narc) used to forget that texting is a record of what she's typed...I never said that" yeah? 2 days ago at 11 am you said exactly that. She hated being called out and then would ghost me for at least a day. One time she said to me "It's like I have to watch what I say around you". Yes, you do. Just like you do with a lawyer, your customers, your mechanic, the guys at the printing shop, you can't just say whatever you like without thinking.

This happened to a friend of mine. She met a guy and they fell in love right away. On their 2nd date he took her to the beach for an overnight about an hour away. When she got home the next day she opened her bag to get her house keys, and they weren’t there. She unpacked her entire bag. They both went through everything and no keys. So they went back to the beach house to look for them. When she arrived, she opened her bag again and there were the keys! She still doesn’t know how she could have missed them the first time let alone the 2nd time. But since they were up there, why not stay another night he said. It turns out this narc trick is all over the internet. They ended up moving in together a few weeks after that and are still together nine month later. He seems to be such a nice guy. I pray for them that they are somehow the exception to all these things I am learning.

I married a fairly young woman so it amazes me that they can become so expert and skillful at this manipulation so early.

You are Amazing. I have Never heard anyone break these disorders and their patterns in relationships better, or more clearly than you. Thank you so much for what you do!

I once told my wife about how traumatized I was as a kid when my mom left us. A short time later during a fight she told me she understood why my mother did that and she would have done the same thing. She did this again just 2 weeks after my mother died so I left for a few days. Now she refers to me leaving as "running away" as in "I suppose you're going to run away again". Never apologized either time. Another time she talked me into marriage counseling and then used what she learned about me to embarrass me in front of my friends and my young son. Later she denied saying it and her apology was "IF I said that, I'm sorry". Yes, we're still married but now I never tell her anything personal that I think might make me vulnerable.

This needs to be taught in schools to help prevent domestic violence. It takes 2 to tango, but we only blame the person who snapped without considering the context

Imagine growing up and having a best friend who is a narcissist, thinking their behavior is normal… now when I see them I can’t deal with it anymore

When I told her it's over and I am leaving you! Her response: You'll never find a better woman than me!! Of course in an aggressive, hysterical way plus all kind of other garbage coming out of her mouth. Does this sounds familiar?

So true about manipulative gaslighting. Narcissistic technique is to use the non sequitur to conflate reality with their self serving agenda. Rashomon by Kurosawa is a fantastic exemplar of reality distortions.

Yes!!! Omg! Exact words “even your brother thinks you are self absorbed”

She has recently started telling me that people think I I walk around like I’m somehow better than everybody else . Bear in mind my teeth are not my own , I’m nearly crippled physically, I’m financially ruined and I dress like I’m homeless

My wife always tells me, “I’m just trying to help. You don’t know how to set boundaries with your family. I need to learn how to focus on this family right here right now, as in You and me.”

Why do we feel so bad when we realize how evil they are?

To anyone who hasnt been in a abusive relationship andvyour wondering if this woman knows what shes talking about or if it really is as bad as she is saying....lm a man...lm fit healthy average looks ..who had nice women interested in me but sadly l was am not the mist confident person out there...l was targeted by a narcissist...she got me to feel like l was only one in world she would ever love...that she needed me , saving as lots of people were so hirrible to her and even her family that she was suicidal...this impacted my health..and mentally exhausted me....being a full time saviour in that you have to talk to them for hours all about whats wrong ..reassuring them its ok...promising them u wont leave them or discard them...its utterly exhausting. Before l knew it l was married...then it was lije l was no longer needed...it became a constant struggle where you are accused of things likecbeing selfish, your a flirt just because you dmilevat someone, your paranoid even tho they are texting or emailing men but hiding it from you saying your paranoid or controlling ...you become broken where the fight leaves you. I ended up losing apl my friends as l became increasingly isolated..anyone shetalked to woukd be told l wasnt nice so l ended up solating myself more and feeling suicidal without realising it...sleeping was a way to escape ...often exhausted sleep. I cant say all the mind games here there are to many but faking trying for a baby picking names and then discovering she was on pill and having affairs while taking pregbnancy tests....made me end up in hospital for a week at one point......she utterly broke me to point l felt so alone and idolated you dont telk anyone how you feel or whats going on as you think everyone will view you like they do. I was married for about 16 years l think...how do p not know? Because mentally pm still trying to recover. On the outside l look fit healthy bloje..people think pm confident and l work flay out and am well liked at work...no one woukd guess this happened to me...its been about six years since l got free...it ended horrifically too...but pm free now..pbgo to work...laugh wr people am liked...but soon as l leave work l go home and shut my door as l dontvwant it happening again. Victims of long term abuse are lve come to learn imposdible to spot..people ask me why havent l gone out on a weekend...why o dont have a partner....its not that easy to move on to heal up. For anyone else out there thatd in a abusive relationship...get the hell out...and dont do what l did and stay in contact and have them back....its like a game to them...you must understand first that they do not love you.....the adfiction to them that you feel...like a drug addict ....is not love...itsvdue to their mental abuse and your isolation that you feel desperate some affection off them as you have no one else as thats part of the manipulation and power they hold over you....ask yourself when they do things or say things that hurt you,upset you,make you feel like you paranoid orvquestion yourself .....woukd you do or say these things tobsomeone else? Would you treat someone the way they treat you? Go out of your body in your mind and look down on yourself analyse whats happening to you....but most importantly get away from them...cut all contact...change tel numbers,email addresses...do not have any contact...go to a proffessional counselor...get help. I wish l had years earlier...your not alone. People look at me and are surprisef lm not with anyone...they have no idea the hell l went thru or that sixvyears after it ended l still have panic attacks in midfle of night etc...its not easy but you can survive and move on. Im close to family now..sucessful at work...one day o hope yo meet right person that can understand ..this..me l guess...but either way lm grateful for help of counselors that helped me get free andvlearn to live without the abuse...its like coming of a drug l guess...took me a while just get to onow myself again...you so used to being told who you are..what you are...you personality...your self id...gets wiped out..anyway..you are so better out than in...dont be affraid to be alone....itscway bettervthan daily abuse and stress...l can sit and relax nowadays....therevare still tears but they get less with time. To all men and women out there ..my heart goes out to you if you have been thru it and l just wrote this because l wanted other victims to onow that while it might feel like it at times...you are not alone. Sending positive vibes and bro / sis love to all you..survivors....for thise still going thru it your a victim still...get out ..please follow above advice...get help...move on...things fo get bettet.

⁠ She’s out of my life now. The problem is the damage she did during her exit from my life. Her “Smear Campaign” was brutal. I did not expect the end result to be so harsh. I was devastated and am still recovering. She cost me financially, and the severe psychological emotional impact is still ongoing. I am trying my best to recover. [She moved on and is doing well; whereas I am alone and isolated & at times feeling like I am going out of my mind. It seems like the narcissist wins, while us non-narcissist are punitively punished for some reason. I’m relieved she is gone, but I am not happy yet; due to all the trauma I have to recover from being with her & her toxic mother for 3 decades. Sucks! 🥵]

These are perfect examples. They're very repulsive so if you hear them, redirect and establish boundaries and reality asap!

Her saying: "you're so lucky to have such a good memory"

At the risk of boring everyone in this video, I had a father like that. I use to farm for a living. My father always was finding fault with the way I was ploughing the fields and loading up the corn planter. Finally after a number of years I never spoke to him again. I received a lot of condemnation from a lot of people because of it. In their minds it was how dare any son never speak to his father. I avoided all churches that advocate this commandment , honor thy father and mother. So one is required to honor a father no matter how monstrous he is. I hope to farm soon again, and if I do, it will be all by myself. I will grow my own corn crop, and this time NO overlord on me. All this took place many years ago in a place near a town called Mount Brydges and Strathroy Ontario, Canada. You can be sure I will never visit that area again.

Best content on the subject on youtube. Thanks for your work.

I always relish and scoop all info just like you share. And you are a blessing and good. Not to be so forward in saying I love you and your help. Keep this info forth. People like me hunger this learned teaching. You are a good teacher.

Just want to thank you for the work your doing.

Thank you for your work Lise. Your videos have helped me immensely.

I have a watched a few of your videos Lisa and your 100% right on with you assessment of NPD. They all use the same control, fear and pressure tactics. Mine wasn't in a relationship with me , she was in competition with her mom , sisters and past exes. Jealousy is their obsession.

Thank you, Lise. Like really THANK YOU.

Excellent work in describing Truth.

Quite comprehensive description. Like it

The all were indicators but 8,9,10 resonated with me the most. Thanks 🙏🏾.

OMG it's like having listened to my narc. All the examples apply to him!

I’ve watched countless videos on narcissists after the penny dropped but I still 2 years later need to top up on Narc vids so I can see the patterns again and don’t second guess my reality. Your spot on with everything your saying and yr style of delivery is wonderfully clear Thankyou!!

Your tone, facial expressions and voice inflection when giving examples of things they say is such an important part of understand the intent. It is so accurate that at first it felt uncanny, but I'm understanding now these are common and predictable patterns. On top of the validation, this understanding takes away a significant amount of the sting from the attacks.

Only 10.......felt like 110. Great info, thank you.

Narc-mother's favorite quip - "Don't get deep". If that did not quash the 'conversation', it was followed-up with an exasperated, "Anyway." That was the true end of my point. She would turn to do something else. I moved to Europe 34 years ago, yet every letter from her (basically a 'to-do' list) ends with her urgently needing to DO something more important, "I MUST wash the floor now". Then, "Love always" - the twisting of the message twists the blade.

👌 you nailed them you made my day, atleast I have someone who actually understand me

OMG! #5 is constant. She tells me all the time how I am undeserving of what she promised or what should come natural for a spouse because I fall short in another area. This is so amazing how you got so many of these spot on. Are you sure you don't have a camera in my living room? Wow!

I try really hard to have compassion and empathy for this person because I feel like its so easy to label anyone a narcissist, but this resonates so much. Disabled is the best way to summarize my journal entries the last several months. I often wrote out that overtime I felt like I lost all my tools I personally needed to be successful in a relationship. I communicate a lot at the start of relationships so I make sure we're on the same page. In my last relationship I was told I overexplain, asked a lot of questions, talked too much, was too insecure, was jealous, needy, etc. When we had issues she would subtlety compare me to a previous partner saying he never had this issue. This is all after moving closer after a year of being LDR. They suddenly hated texting - so we stopped texting. They hated talking about emotions and considered them fights. They suddenly didn't consider physical touch as their love language. She would often tell me how I misinterpreted things. They never understood their emotions and I took on the responsibility of understanding them after being completely disabled. I had no boundaries. "You need to go to therapy" "Get a new counselor" "The fact you're attracted to me disgusts me and idk why" "I can be attracted to human garbage, but for some reason I'm not with you" "Don't you just want to work on yourself" "Did I say 'We'? I've been trying to say that less" "Yeah I said I wanted to go out the city, but that didn't mean with you" "Did I say I love you? I was drunk" "I gave my insta info to a random guy at the bar.. I was drunk" "You're not secure!" "If you're stressed from work, what are we going to do when we have kids?" Over the course of 6 months, I let things like this slide and she would often tell me how I had no self-respect which was completely true. I couldn't express myself and when I would try it would make them feel guilty and ashamed after I moved across the country. I never held that fact against her, but the elephant was always in the room as two southerners far from home. I didn't stand up for myself because I didn't want her to feel guilty or ashamed anymore, I lost the tool of self-respect and was truly disabled at that point. I took the blame and always gave her the benefit of the doubt. I still can't say if she's a narcissist or not or if I was just super unhealthy. We took a break and she surprisingly came back telling me everything I ever wanted to hear, but then she said she wanted to die from loneliness after not being invited out by her friends. I came back with the intent to improve her relationships with her friends before we planned to moved out the city. Weeks later she would go on a solo vacation to visit her best friend and she came back and said lets be friends. We fought over drinks the next night and she kept telling me how my desire to be better was only for her.. when I had been working on myself through therapy for a year. Because I was "only changing for her" I was considered too codependent. She only knew what she didn't want and never what she wanted in a relationship, but the one time she voiced what she wanted she said "I want someone independent" - as someone who had been working on the relationship on their own and focusing on two people's growth, I was shattered at the thought she couldn't see any change in me. All I needed was a grain of reassurance despite all the glaring signs that she was departed a long time ago

Absolutely and spot on.

This is a good rule of thumb on phrases not to use around people who have been traumatized by narcissists.

Wow! Bang On!

all of the things you said, ive been throughx10 for 2 years. with this video my 5th Research phase is over and i think to share so many prevention advices and examples for not listening to them that i believe i will help others in this kind of abusive relationship

I wish my Mom would have taught me this! My Dad was one and she got hurt and I married a man like my dad.

You know you are dealing with a narcissist when they don’t even care to see their one year old. Also they put all the responsibility of raising that child on you.

Great advice!

If you are always honest, the narcissist cannot make you doubt what you said.

I am told it’s my head injury from a previous trauma that had no long term brain injury ! Also my job related ptsd and my treatments being forced and mental hospital admission ! I need to admit now this was a down fall of what is proof here. . All of these were said to me. Failures not an option in my world 👨🏻‍🚒💔 walk away !

Word for word. It’s like you just read the script I’ve been hearing for the last 3 years. To the letter. Spookey.

You are so so so good and accurate

Thanks Lise

Thank you Lise. You're such a good communicator on this topic. Very helpful.

This is amazing

I have experienced gaslighting as follows: she tested my boundaries. Once she trespassed my boundaries to which I reacted strongly. She then accused me for reacting because of my former abusive traumas.

My situation is a little more complicated, been together 45 years , married 42. She wanted a separation after 40. She keeps calling me the narcissist but after following your channel im convinced she is. She did such a number on my head that i actually was hoping i wouldn't wait up the next morning. Im sure i wasn't perfect all those years, but who is. Way to much to tell but you get the idea. Thanks lisa.

Wow, this is my mother. She will make accusations of my wife and I, such as things that we have said, that are untrue. I tell my wife I don't really want to have much to do with my mother. My wife is hurt and angry about things my mother said about us. My mother has no regret at all if my wife is hurt. I have watched other videos of narcissism and my mother certainly does not have all the traits in the list. So then I question, "is my mother really a narcissist?". But this video is my mother to a tee. My mother doesn't like me because I don't fall for it. Today I have little to do with my mother. She is getting older and someday she will be dead. But I can't be around her abuse. A very sad state of affairs. No, this is an excellent video I can't add any more to. When you experience it you know it.

I wish I found you 12 years ago! But now is also good. I have been pretty sure it was me for a while. And sometimes it definitely was….but I came to the conclusion that it was for survival. I’m through it now. Kind, and free. What a ride!

I never agree or accept her lies. I know exactly what she says, said while covering her lies. I simply get pissed of and walk away because I'm tired of the arguing.

I had a friend (I thought ) that would do this to me. And then had a girlfriend with similar intent. Their battles were epic. Some part of me liked the battle but over and over it was all my fault and so on. So I dropped them both and found nicer folks to give my energy too.

Yesss!! And she didn't want me to go to therapist like she was abnormally against it

I loved the "Is that what your therapist said?" comment.

OMG! So true!

They don’t have friends, family, or partners, they have employees.

Writing journal helped me to see things more clearly and that my memory was good. Personal therapist helped me to see that I really wanted to leave, by simply asking me, how did I feel. Question which I failed to answer for first several sessions, because I learned to shut down my emotion and expression of those emotions, because when my emotions didn't match expectations of my spouse.

That's so much my mum. "Why even talk if you are like this" + blame my behavior everytime i am talking about her behavior + "You are always telling me i am evil" + "You are always right anyway". Walking away from conversation with contemp, and never want to talk more about it. My mum is always using "we" when it's just her alone thinking something, i always understood she made no sens because she always used "I" when we are in a group, and "we" when we are both alone. She used "we" so she can mess with me and try to make me paranoïd (never worked), and "I" so she can be proud of being assertive in front of other people. Being accused of being selfish and self absorbe, "i am such a great mother for you". Yeah.