WATCH NEXT - *Stop The Cycle of Negative Relationships* kzfaq.info/get/bejne/bquYrc2Cla7ceWw.html

The worst part about being in a toxic exchange is the fact that you end up mirroring the toxic person’s behaviour.

#1 clue that you are in a toxic relationship.....The relationship makes you feel bad.

I've seperated myself from two toxic relationships today. My mother. And my son's father. We were living under one roof. I know I've made the right move. I want to attract an healthy emotionally intimate relationship. I need a therapist. We need a home. I am chasing stability on so many different levels. Pray for me, y'all.

1. Chronic anger - 1.28 2. Chronic sarcasm - 1.48 3. Disparaging humor - 1.55 4. Punitive mindset - 2.11 5. Controlling nature - 2.47 6. Excessive insecurity - 3.31 7. Extremely opinionated - 3.50 8. Manipulator - 4.01 9. Predominant self-centered - 5.40 10. Need to always be on the offense - 6.19

I left my toxic relationship today

Just left a toxic relationship. Find someone whose emotional intelligence matches yours. Know your worth and never settle.

Just be alone. It's better that being with a toxic person. "and when nobody wakes you up in the morning, and when nobody waits for you at night, and when you can do whatever you want. what do you call it, freedom or loneliness?" -Charles Bukowski

I was about to write CRITICISM when she said "opinionated" and mentioned it after. this is the biggest lesson I learned from my past relationship. if they tend to not shy away from saying things they don't like about how you are, what you do or who you are (and I'm not talking about deal breakers, I'm talking about minor things like them not liking how you phrased something that was intended to soothe them, or not liking how you express joy and excitement etc.). Healthy people aren't in default critic mode! They are focused on lifting you up, not nitpicking whatever it is they don't like about you

"You're over thinking." - someone trying to control your thoughts.

I had an ex who would blame me for literally everything that ever went wrong. When he left for a few days, I felt so peaceful and did not miss him at all. That's when I knew it was time to call it quits.

Sexlessness. Sharing a bed with someone who doesn’t acknowledge you are a sexual being hurts so much. I was in a sexless marriage for years. Being a woman with a high libido, I felt inadequate. Worst I feel invisible. The man who was “supposed” to want me, just didn’t. We talked about it many times, more than I can recall now. It was always me. I wanted too much - once a week was too much for him. I didn’t initiate - he was always complaining of headaches, stomaches, always stressed, always tired. I was too sexual - when being subtle doesn’t work, what is next? Explicitly saying I wanted sex. Oh but then it was not appropriate. Conversations would end up with him saying he didn’t feel desired or I made him feel emasculated because he didn’t want sex as much as I did. Yeah, it was always me. I could never win. While we were dating we would have a decent amount of sex, it was good. The first huge red flag was not having sex in our honeymoon - which I ignored. It rapidly decrease to once a week, then every other week. Years gone by it was months in between, by the time we divorced it was over a year with no sex. I cried myself to sleep more times that I can count. I didn’t understand what was wrong with me. Was I that undesirable? Was I repulsive? After those conversations, I just stopped trying, initiating, mentioning sex. We were still loving - holding hands, hugging, kissing - but sex was off the table. He then cheated on me. Swore he had sex only 4 times in a year (or more) long affair. It didn’t matter. For years my self worth was damaged by him, years of low self esteem, years of feeling less of a woman, the marriage that was more than over, waiting in hospice, really ended. Funny how things are, I asked him for a divorce, he manipulated me into staying, next day his infidelity came to light. I was out as soon as I could. Best thing of my life. Additionally, That feeling when your partner cheated and you don't have the courage to leave him / her so you just death with the pain and live everyday asking questions about your worth. This pain is different from the cheating one_living and seeing him everywhere anticipating when he or she do it again. The best thing is to hire a private investigator Metaspyhub@gmail. com to help you spy on their cellphone remotely just like he did for me...

This video actually helped me realize that I have a few of these toxic habits. I absolutely love my partner, but this video showed me I definitely do not treat them as well as I could. I definitely have some things to work on. Thank you Dr. Marks, I really needed to see this video.

How to end a toxic relationship ? Run Don’t look back Keep running Run faster

Blame shifting is also very toxic.. someone who'll always find a way to blame you for everything even when they know they're wrong.. it's frustrating really 😫😫

Being a co-dependent people-pleaser leaves one open to toxicity. I know. I lived them. Dr. Marks hit every nail on the head. When one extremely toxic relationship ended up with me in the hospital sick as a dog.. that's when I had to pull up the courage inside of me and say: Enough. I am keeping this disaster going. It's up to me to walk away. We do have to look at what part we play, like Dr. Marks says.

I married my highschool sweet heart , he’s the only one I have been with ... 16 years now ... everything on this video is him. I wish I wasn’t so naive... now I don’t know how to leave. Your videos are so valuable and I appreciate these videos so much ! It hads opened my eyes. Thank you 🙏

You forgot a HUGE one.... Lies. Excessive lying is very toxic in any relationship.

I started watching to validate my feelings about a toxic relationship. Turns out I've identified many toxic things I'm doing instead. Lots to think about now. Anger is a hard thing to let go of.

All of this is spot on! But when you have a 40 plus year marriage that was good the first 35…..then the accusations, the belittling, the anger, the unwarranted lack of trust, the manipulative controlling ….it gets really hard to separate your lives when there are not only adult children, but grandchildren involved. I don’t know anymore where he ends and I start. .

I left for my own peace. Yes people do change with time. His chronic anger 🤬, relentless sarcasm, and controlling nature broke me down in four years. If I stand for myself..he calls me narcissistic, manipulator, blames me for worsening the relationship, demeans me. Omg every single point in this video is so true. I left this toxic relationship and feels so peaceful... I observed that he won't do anything to mend the relationship. There is never a closure.

I just found out that I’m a toxic person... I’ll try to change

I'm determined to fix the toxic inside of myself I'm attracted to toxic people and I'm also noticing that I might be toxic as well the difference is I want to fix it

For anyone watching this who is scared of the fallout once you start to take action to distance yourself or change your behaviors: Don't hold yourself back from pursuing happiness for fear of someone else's reaction. You cannot control how they respond, but it will more than likely tell you whether or not this is someone you want to keep in your life after all. If they leave you on your journey of growth, that says more about them than it does about you.

The lady in the purple shirt dancing!!! LMFAO! The best. Just thank you. The information is also amazing and spot-on. Killing it

I feel like my partner is toxic and I’m becoming toxic myself to retaliate. I hate that so much. Cannot wait to start therapy and do better/release myself from this.

“if you grew up around someone who did some of these things, you may find yourself being attracted to similar people even though you don’t like their behavior” I can relate. My dad was toxic not just to my mom but to me as well. And I always end up being with someone toxic. It’s really hard for me to let go of the relationship because of the memories and because of his optimism for our future despite the situation. And I tend to get excited and fall for the cycle again and again… I really do hope that one day, I’ll have the courage to let it go. For my own sake at least.

your video made me realize how toxic I am being even when I am not intending to be :( I’ve been asking of someone I care about « why why why » of an important decision they made. And I haven’t stopped. It’s something I genuinely didn’t understand their reason behind, but I think at the end of the day I’m asking it only to change their mind. thanks for the clarity.

2 weeks out of a toxic relationship and I feel free and lighter than I have in years.

I’m the problem. I can’t have my girlfriend suffer because of me, thank you for this video

I’M TIRED OF CRYING, TIRED OF THIS, AND I’M LITERALLY OVER ALL OF IT.

Omg!! "Sometimes people are just flawed individuals"... I needed to hear that today!!

I "broke up" with my best friend of 13 years because I finally realized how toxic she was to me. I am such a happier and healthier person without her.

When you mirror toxic people's behavior, they get perplexed. It's amazing to watch. They don't know how to process it.

Counseling/therapy can help so much if the parties want to be better. This is a dynamic video. Thank you 🙏🏽

Rage, chronic sarcasm, important points of change remaining unchanged, blame, controlling nature, ill treatment of others they perceive as lesser same request over and over, they don’t hear, though they listen! A predominant self centeredness. All 🚩! Thank you Dr, familiarity breeds comfortable feelings in distraction. Double messages, I adore you as you are/if you changed X you’d be perfect…. Feeling weird or that things are off, is because they are off. Statements like “your perfect, your exactly like me!” Define your reasons for staying, change your role then observe where your at emotionally at after a healthy change!

The older you get the more you realise everyone is so twisted and so many people are actually going through a lot 🙇🏽‍♂️

Some others: Blame shifting, Minimizing, Dismissing, Rationalizing, Deflecting, Lack of ownership (violating your boundaries) and of course constant lying.

This is the best video. My ex had every single one of these 10 red flags. Her extreme mood swings, her constant barrage of degrading comments about me, her total self centeredness was nothing like I've ever experienced. It totally shook my world. And the worst part is that whenever I would get upset or try to talk to her about the way she acts towards me, she would label me as being 'hypersensitive', 'such a little princess', etc. But the kicker was that when I would leave her or break up with her, she would then completely love bomb me, then manipulate me into getting back together with her by lying that she will change her ways, and then the cycle started all over again. Now, just recently we broke up for good. The very next day she is dating a new man who she was already lining up without me knowing, and 2 days later they were sleeping together. It's been an extremely painful and degrading experience being with this person.

Some years back a therapist shocked me into acknowledging a deep truth about my mother. "Donna, when are you going to realize your mother is just superficial?" Yes, it shocked me. But it also liberated me from gallery expectations. Thanks for reminding me. And, again, listening to you forces me to acknowledge that my ex guy just doesn't want to accept a nine year "relationship" is a relationship at all.

SELF LOVE IS YOUR WEAPON!!! ...BELIEVE YOU ME

This is not just about spouses, it also applies to friendships.

1. Chronic anger - 1:28 2. Chronic sarcasm - 1:48 3. Disparaging humor - 1:55 4. Punitive mindset - 2:11 5. Controlling nature - 2:47 6. Excessive insecurity - 3:31 7. Extremely opinionated - 3:50 8. Manipulator - 4:01 9. Predominant self-centered - 5:40 10. Need to always be on the offense - 6:19

1. Chronic anger 2. Chronic sarcasm 3. Disparaging humor 4. Punitive mindset 5. Controlling nature 6. Excessive insecurity 7. Extremely opinionated 8. Manipulation (guilt) 9. Selfcenteredness 10. Always on the offense

Anyone who can admit their wrong behaviors and change them has my respect ✊

I got out of a toxic relationship today. I still love him so it was really hard... He made me think I was the toxic one and that's why I'm here watching this. I'm glad I got out of the relationship but it hurts.... :(

You just described my hole relationship with my husband, it killed me a lot and i found myself normalizing these behaviors. A lot have changed in me, i lost myself in him and i just can't identify my needs. Today i have a therapist and i hope i can get my way out of this toxic relationship

10/10 Wow! Your really don't realize how bad it is until you get out. The technique that helped me was, every time he would say something negative, no matter what it was or why, I would silently say to myself, "I am enough." Repeating that kept me sane, made me feel stable, and eventually I started to believe it. Those words gave me the strength the escape.

Also, always playing the victim card can be extremely toxic.

i almost cried at the manipulation one because the guy i was talking to would always make me feel bad for saying no. i can't believe i defended him for so long

My ex-girlfriend is a master manipulator. She has most, if not all, of the traits you mentioned too. Her mother is the same. Thanks for confirming that I wasn't wrong for leaving her. She still, 5 weeks on, won't accept my decision to leave and tries to contact me constantly to manipulate me (using identical language as in your video to the point that it's laughable) to go back to her. She is the definition of toxic and I'm surprised her previous relationship lasted 16 years. I feel sorry for that guy. Luckily I got out in less than a year, relatively unscathed, and learnt a valuable life lesson.

Me, who's been in at least 2 very long lasting toxic relationships and is just now learning what non-toxic relationships are like: oh...so _this_ is what it's like to not be around toxic people. Huh. Very nice

I think the only relationship I have that's NOT toxic is the one I have with my Dog! Great info, thanks!

I left my toxic relationship of 10 years a few days ago, he was most all of these things. I'm watching these videos to validate myself because I still feel guilty for leaving.

someone said toxic relationship is more worst than alone. I totally agree with that

I wasted 19 years with a abusive, narcissist, negative, gaslighting and toxic husband, I feel that every time I stayed I enabled him to treat me like that over and over again. wish I had left long ago but it's all good, thank you God for helping me take this step of staying away.

May I add: No statute of limitations. They can and will drag up anything you have ever done wrong in your life since the day you were born and throw it in your face at any time for any reason. By the way, your videos are fantastic and I thank you so much for sharing them on KZfaq.😀

Being the victim takes so much energy. It’s not like I can do something to make people change. Walking away is sometimes the answer

I’m watching this because my friend is going through a hard relationship right now and I suspect that his current relationship with his lover is toxic but I’m not a 100% sure. This helped me and my friend a lot, thank you for helping us see.

I think that a lot of these behaviors are learned. A lot of “toxic” traits are considered signs of “assertiveness”, “meeting one’s needs”, and “standing one’s ground”. Some of these traits can also be developed as survival skills when growing up in an abusive or toxic environment. I definitely relate to being angry, being sarcastic, making disparaging jokes, and having a punitive mindset. But it’s also useful to distinguish when such behaviors are used in a defensive or retaliatory manner. I’m a loner by nature and prefer to keep to myself. However, I will become quite vicious in response to perceived injustices or other attacks.

My ex used to say that I made him feel small whenever I accomplished something. As if I should make myself small to make him feel better about himself.

Watched this video thinking of my partner then I realized my traits have become toxic as a result to protect myself. I don’t want to become what broke me.

The extremely opinionated and judgmental is what I’ve dealt with and they continue to repeat certain opinions and turn into manipulator. I naturally minimized my interactions because it becomes too Much

Thank YOU for publishing such incredible content! I am no longer in the partner relationship. . . that slowly sunk into being toxic. Incredibly helpful messages in evaluating relationships. 🙏🏼

I just realised I was the toxic one in my relationships. Thank you for helping me see this. I have much to improve. Thank you very much for your video

That girl in the purple is actual footage of me wearing whatever I want after leaving my toxic ex

This is so great, thank you. Not enough videos/information/people focus enough on what your own contribution to that toxic dynamic is! "We usually stay in toxic relationships for a reason, even if it's a twisted reason".. That really resonated

I left a toxic relationship with my son's father YEARS ago. I'm much much happier with my new man! 🥰 He's not psycho aggressive like the last one!

I walked out on my toxic (mental and emotional abusive) relationship last week. Stay safe everyone. You all deserve to love yourself and not be hated for doing so. ❤️

Girl in the purple was busting a move.

Thank you for this. All tips here are very true. I was once in a relationship where my partner repeatedly pushed me to do stuff I already said no to. I later realised that these things she asked weren't really about me but her own comfort/wants. This I suppose is another form of manipulation, where someone suggests something you should both do but in essence it's what they really want regardless of what you want. Sincerity is both of you coming to an agreement jointly or respectfully agreeing to disagree without letting it harm your relationship.

I have studied this for 20 years and this is the easiest, most well explained video on how to recognize these traits. You have made a huge impact with this video and I hope you can see that as a life well spent. That is certainly a success in my book, thank you :)

How do I feel when I’m away from them? GREAT What do I miss about them? NOTHING Time to move on I suppose.

My boyfriend of 10years actually has driven me insane.I hate the blaming me,that's the worst.I was watching this while he was in the room,I cud feel the tension and his face screwed up and he walked out the room.I actually left him and went to a friends for 2weeks,he love bombed me back.Stupid me hey?And after about 8 days he went back to his old self.This is the cycle.I actually have thoughts of ringing his neck,lol I'm planning to leave him Asap.i have a flat I'm going to run away to,I'm leaving him for good.I need to be free.Wish me luck people 😓

This is SO GOOD!! I think every young person starting to date should watch this so they can recognize both if they’re inflicting this abuse or accepting this abuse ♥️ Good good video!

I appreciate your examples of the red flags. There are hundreds of videos with the flags but without examples. You helped to make the flags more clear. You’re a great teacher. I can tell you really care. Thank you for all you do.

10 Red Flags of a Toxic Relationship Chronic Anger Sarcasm Disparaging humor Punitive mindset Controlling nature Excessive insecurity Opinionated Manipulator Self-centeredness On the offense 4 ways to Detox a Relationship Take a break from interactions w/ the person Create emotional distance Look at your contribution See a Professional

I believe I am somewhat toxic, after watching this clip. I really love my fiance and after a pretty serious episode where I hurt her emotionally, I have begun taking steps to become a better man for her, God willing.

What a revelation you’ve confirmed - I’m the guy riding in on a white horse to rescue damsel’s lost in their own distress- did it for my mother and every successive relationship - not rescued one … ever! Nice to know it’s change the pattern time - thank you so much for your words of wisdom

Thanks Dr. Tracey for this so helpful to see all the aspects of a toxic relationship! Love your videos, your so great, mental health education is so important! 🧡

Am done with this toxic relationship thing. The worst part is that u end up forgetting about urself 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️. This is so bloodsucking!

I cried listening to this...i felt like for once i just needed someone to talk to me...not just me myself facing the problems and coming up with solutions. Feels so good to be understood

Thanks Dr. Tracey… I didn’t even realize how normalized toxic behavior can become… especially if you grow up surrounded by them

I was surprised that the Doctor didn't mention that most of these toxic behaviors are characteristic of a Narcissist. Other thing is that toxic people quite often manage to conceal their true selves from their partner until they've got them trapped in some fashion. Until very recently, a woman who was married to a toxic was pretty much on her own, since so many in authority considered that it was the woman's responsibility to hold the relationship together. 💜

A big one for me was, my partner keeping tallies on how many “favors” he has done for me… 😑

I dated someone who I believe has border personality disorder. We eventually ended the relationship because she realized she would get angry with me very easily. I also felt like I was walking on egg shells with her. If I communicated something with her it was taken so hard. I loved her so much and didn't want to end it over that. But now that I haven't been with her for 7 months I feel a sense of relief. I don't have to deal with the walking on egg shells. I am still very much in love with her...

This resonates for me specifically what you said about not having an intimate relationship with parents. It's like my mom and I can talk about all kinds of stuff under the sun yet when it comes to her being supportive or even acknowledging my chronic pain she is damn near dismissive and says rude stuff ...as per usual and yet I'm the one with the issue. Makes it challenging to connect or want to. I also find myself living with my ex and it's very toxic. Literally everything you mentioned happens, specifically the gift given. I received something the other day and it did not feel good. Sigh! I'm grateful for this video specifically as well as your others. I no longer feel Its all in my head and I'm tripping.

I've been experiencing all these from a male neighbor for over 6 months! It's literally getting me ill. Thanks for the insights Dr Tracy!!

She’s a very gifted therapist. Spot on! I know from personal experience she is correct.

Friendships can be toxic also. Great video. I wish i found this video years ago.

I just felt my mind exhale. After a string of toxic relationships, this is the summary I needed. I've saved it to ALL my playlists! Thank you. 🙂

Wish I would have had the courage to dig deeper into your channel earlier, Dr. Marks. After watching this video I’ve come to understand that I was the problem. I only wish I knew to what extent I was the problem sooner. I’ve gone ahead and lost everyone already. Thank you for enlightening me and so many others. Bless you and may you continue to be able to do your work.

I realized I had a toxic friendship. So glad it’s done. I felt like the weight has been lifted as soon as we stopped talking!

She is so good at explaining this stuff..very informative video

My dad does every single thing you listed. Right now we are barely talking and I haven't seen him in 9 months cause of what he did this time. And to put the cherry on top he made me feel like it was all my fault when I did nothing wrong

Wow, every single one of these was my ex-husband (married 20 years.) Been divorced 4 years and I still feel emotionally drained.

This is my father 110% and was me as well until just barely over half a year ago. I was severely toxic in all of the ways listed in this video and more. Proudly, I became extremely self aware and self reflective, got some professional help, stayed with non-toxic family, and have changed my life nearly 180 degrees. Thanks to channels like this one this was possible. Change is hard, and rare, but I promise it is totally doable if you really put in the work.

Didn't think I was in a toxic relationship until I saw this... holy sh*t. Every shoe fits...

I was diagnosed Bipolar five years ago and I was reluctant to take my medications until I finally got a hipomanic episode that made me change. Your videos have helped me a lot to do some process of self acceptance and I appreciate this a lot especially when finding continuous mental health help when it come to this matter is really hard and expensive in my homecountry. Thank god there's a psichiatric hospital I can go and they do an amazing job, they nailed it with Lithium Carbonate. I really like the video when you talk about emotions and the red flags on a toxic relationship plus the detox last part. This really helped me in terms of reassuring some of my personality and selfsteem issues. You are a KZfaq philanthropist by doing these informational videos. It really helps me out to uncode some hipomanic episodes I have been though all my life. Thanks.

Came here to confirm whether or not my "friend" is actually toxic, and realised I have a few traits as well.