Excellent point!! In one of my other videos I talk about making sure someone is there to witness a tough conversation. It’s so true. The 1:1 works only if it’s unintentional gaslighting. Brilliant. Thank you for the comment!

Same. The narc boss I work with burned that fuckin' bridge a long time ago. I have nothing more to say to him.

Yes my experience too

Always have your phone set to voice recorder

Yup that's happening to me now. I can prove some things as this person confronts everyone, in front of everyone and someone asked me why a certain person was always so mean to me.... but the rest, I can't prove cause it's behind closed doors. I'm trying to leave but then got pulled out on medical. Feel very trapped right now

It’s so true. And so sad! It’s hard because you can’t be fully authentic with them … but your strategy is spot on!

I really like your strategy it’s very wise! I do disagree though… Some gas lighters are just people who have never been taught the proper way to communicate and get their needs met but a lot of gas lighters are narcissists to your point. It’s hard to discern sometimes! Thank you for watching and for commenting I really appreciate it

Gadlighter bosses are professional gaslighters making you get into a trap.

Wonderful outcome!!!

Dennis everything you said is spot on. It’s a game to them. You’re right, so often our only recourse is to protect ourselves … HR won’t help. But quite often they do! Thanks for the comment. Shine on!

The accuracy here is uncanny. I am experiencing the exact same thing.

Dennis you are spot on. It’s a terrible, painful pattern. If they have power and HR and unions are on their side, it’s time to find another gig. It’s the healthy thing to do. It’s not worth losing self esteem over. Thanks for posting and watching.

@@SunBrya so sorry to hear this …. Hang in there and use it as an opportunity to learn some countermoves!

I absolutely agree

There is a LOT of truth to this. I still believe in 1:1 in many cases but you are right. Sometimes it’s best to have a witness!

True that. Couldn’t agree more. But there are places out there that work hard to be equitable. No place is perfect, but there are good people and good companies out there. You will find your people!!

Jude you made my day! I am thrilled this helped you and know I’m here for ya!!

It can be! Totally depends on the situation and the power dynamics! Those can be super useful as well!

😂

Hooray! I love hearing this! Way to be courageous and clear!

You are not broken and documenting via email is the best way to go. Let me know how things go and hang in there.

You don't need to ask permission to start documenting everything through email, just do it. Don't even ask her. The next time you need to tell her you finished a project, or are ready to start another one, or you need help with a task, etc. Communicate it through email. Even if she asks you to stop. Email is great because whether or not they decide to respond, things are documented on YOUR side. When the last chip falls, it's no longer an issue of you having to defend yourself against what she is claiming happened, it's about HER having to answer to why she refused to respond to your emails, which back up your side of things and negates any story she might try to spin about events. Because yeah, from what you are describing, it sounds like she is playing some kind of game with you, and the way to defeat it is to put on your big-girl pants and do the most intelligent, professionally-correct, and effective way to do your job, which is email. And she knows it. You're essentially asking her "Is it OK if I stop playing your little fuckin mind game?" and she's telling you no, because it'd no longer be fun for her. If she absolutely causes a STINK about you using email (which she might, narcissists hate losing/being outsmarted) then simply say "Your way of doing things, like trying to remember stuff we talked about but failing to remember them properly, or handwritten/hand typed notes after the fact about our discussions that you can never find when we need them, wasn't working. This is the best, most efficient way to do this. Why are you so against this? How is this not better than you taking notes after the fact and not being able to find them later, or trying to remember a conversation we had off the top of your head and not being able to recall it, like _________ (insert examples here) As a side note, it COULD be that she's not narcissistic OR gaslighting you at all. She could just be incompetent at her job and doesn't want a paper trail proving it. Which means you DEFINITELY need to start using email. Because when shit hits the fan, and it always does, then she's going to blame you, you lack of documentation, and all the times she told to do this and you did that, etc to use as a scapegoat. Best of luck. Be prepared to fight her BIG TIME on using email going forward. Just remember that not only do you have the "correct" high ground, you literally have ALL the high grounds to stand on when it comes to this issue. Don't let her make you not do your job in the most efficient way possible because she "says so" make her PROVE why you guys shouldn't use email. Don't let her force you into defending yourself. You have all the defense you need. You're correct. Make her defend HER stance of doing things the wrong way. Get others involved if you need to. If you really want this to stop as badly as you say you do, you'll take this advice and implement it. It all starts with a single email. I really hope you do it.

I agree with every. Single. Word. Of this comment. 👏 👏

@@ThisisBronwyn I see you ;) love the content BTW. I just found you but you're already one of my favorite youtubers.

@@rodneyzirrillo5961 thank you for this advice. I have emailing. Not yet received a response. I caught her on a lie. I want her to first clarify what I believe to be a lie and once she confirm what she had said to me I will show evidence that will disprove her and will ensure this is set out in my email. Yesterday she threatened to get HR involved. I have done nothing wrong so I told her I was sad it has come to this but if she would like HR involved then I have no objection. Thank you so much for taking the time to advise me. I need as much support as I can find right now. It's a tough fight and I never knew how work issues can bring me down in this way.

Hooray!! So glad you got something out of it!

You made my week! Thank you!!

So glad you liked it! Humans can be really tricky sometimes can’t they? 😂

Yey! Thank you!!

Ooh that sounds like a nightmare. I’ll definitely do a video on this! If you want to give me more detail, I’d love it! DM me on insta. @bronwynsf

So glad you found it helpful, Lene!! Shine on!

So glad!!!

I’m so glad Simran! Take good care!!

Yey!! Glad you found it useful. Thanks for watching

SALUDOS!!! Thank you for watching, and I'm so glad you found them helpful!

Thank you Carlos!! Like and subscribe and help me get to 1000! I so appreciate you being here and watching!❤️🤩💥

This does sound like gaslighting to me. But because we want to own what is ours, was there anything helpful in what she said? Was she trying to tell you that you could be a better listener, for example? You could ask your colleagues for honest feedback vs asking who said what. If after gathering honest feedback you find that nothing Sally said had truth to it, then you have your answer! I hope that was helpful!

@@ThisisBronwyn Thankyou for responding. Honestly there was nothing helpful to what she said at all! If she had of told me who had said it then I could of reflected back to the times I've interacted with that person & thought about why it is they could of said that about me. Not knowing who has said it has just left me with unanswered questions.

@@anonymousanon2993 that makes sense. But also don’t get attached to who said what. Ask a few people who you respect for honest feedback. And listen to what they have to say in case there’s room for improvement. Resist the temptation to play sleuth, just get curious. Either way, I think you have your answer on whether or not she was gaslighting you! 😆

@@ThisisBronwyn I guess what I could of got out of all of it is, is that maybe I should talk more to people, but I've tried talking to everyone at my workplace. Most of the time the people there won't speak to you unless you go out of your way to start up a conversation with them first. I mostly talk to the people there I'm friends with because atleast with them they will talk to you & you don't have to try so hard when it comes to having a conversation. The conversations with the people I'm friends with there have this natural flow to them.

So glad!!

How’d it go?? Thanks for watching!

The timeout is amazingly effective. I was able to get my points across so much easier without feeling confrontational. Thank you so much!

Bravo!!!!

Hi!! Glad you found it helpful … this is an important question. When someone is that emotionally triggered, they are incapable of rational discourse. Best to either a) leave the meeting or b) wait for them to finish and then excuse yourself so you can process what happened and make a game plan.

@@ThisisBronwyn Easier said than done in a small office... especially when the emoptional response is to lash aout and accuse everyone of "unfair" behaviour ;) But thank you for the reply. I think the underlying issue was the (thankfully now ex) MD. This MD had also failed to address continuing antisocial behaviour from a number of employees, because he was soooo scared of legal consequences (in the UK!) We all learn, and usually become stronger, through experience. :)

@@pompeymonkey3271 that sounds brutal … sometimes the smaller companies are the most disfuncional! Hang in there. And good for you for doing your best in the face of this kind of meeting chaos! 😚

Thank you Lynne! yOU are the best! Thank u for watching

So glad!

I’m so sorry this happened to you. 😢

So glad it was helpful! Keep fighting the good fight and no you are never alone.

Geeze what a sick organization! Time to dust off that resume and find a better gig! Even if it takes a while, keep your eye open for better opportunities. If what you’re saying is true, it’s unlikely they’ll change their ways. Hang in there.

That depends. Do you mean do I recommend telling a narcissist that they’re actively gaslighting you?

@@ThisisBronwyn correct.

@@Gina-wn3nc then I’m gonna shoot a video just on this. It’s a complicated answer. It is yes and no. ;) stay tuned!

I love this and agree. Though I think you are more talking about hardcore narcissistic gaslighters. Sometimes people who gaslight do it without fully realizing how toxic it is. They need to be brought into a state of awareness around it. But if it’s a narcissist, you are dead right about all of it.

Then you are a rare blessing in this world! 🥰

Please don’t hold back. 😂 I disagree. I think there are nuances that we need to be aware of in terms of power and hierarchy but as professionals we need to get feedback. Perhaps not all CEOs are down for this, but the good ones are. :) thanks for watching and weighing in!

Trigger.exe has been activated.