I'm spanish and when I was taking my driving license practical exam, like 20 years ago a car crashed just in front of us and the driving examiner yelled: "Me cago en las hostias putas y en 10 km a la redonda por si hay 1 santo suelto" To this day I still remember as one of the most profound swearing I have heard.

"Me cago en las cuatro farolas que alumbran las tumbas de tus muertos" swearing in Spanish is like playing Street Fighter, using combos all the time.

"Tú misma" would roughly translate as "have it your way". It's not an insult as much as a passive-aggressive threat.

When I lived in spain, our neighbors parrot would SCREAM “joder” about 400 times a day because people say it so much 😂😂❤️

Dude when I lived in Spain I heard “joder” every five seconds 😂

In Spain we swear while we talk and it's normal it's not to offend its just a normal way to express

A great new curse with an amazing storyline: "Hay tres tipos de tos, tos seca, tos mucosa y tos tus muertos". Con amor de parte de una andaluza

Best swearing in spanish I have heard: "no tengo el chichi para farolillos". It means, more or less, "I can't be bothered right now with silly things" , but the literal translation is "I am not in the mood to adorn my vagina with small electric lights". Pure poetry.

When you hear a "guiri" swear in spanish for first time is like something magical, like the birth of a new star.

Nunca me había parado a pensar en cómo de ofensivo puede sonar "me cago en todos tus muertos" para alguien que no lo haya escuchado toda su vida😂

"Estan volando hostias y tu cara es un aeropuerto" is my favourite. It means "Slaps are flying and your face is an airport"

"Joanna you can say Jesus louder you're Jewish he's not listening to you" I DIED 😂😂😂

"This is not The Shape of Water" 😂😂😂

“Spaniard cursing is like poetic Tourettes”

in argentina we literally say to a bald person "tobogan de piojos" translation: lice slide

We in Valencia (Spain) can go "Me cague en Deu, en la creu i en el fuster que la feu", which literally translates "I shit in God, in the Holy Cross and in the woodsman who made it".

There is a book called "El gran libro de los insultos" which tells the origin and definition of almost every insult it exist in the spanish language. And it is a looooong book.

Spaniard swearing is next level shit. They use so much vocabulary and are so creative, it cracks me up. I just simply can't replicate it.

Te voy a dar hostias de dos en dos hasta que sean impares “I’m gonna slap you twice a time until they become odd”

*One does not simply swear like an Spaniard*

I think spanish is the language that have more curse words in the World, I feel so proud Joder, me cagó en todo lo que se menea

Saying “me cago en + any random word” could literally be an insult

"Tu mismo/a" is the Spanish version of when you ask your parents to do something and they look at you with the rage of a thousand stars and say "Do whatever you want". You know there that it's check-mate.

In Spain, if you don't swear while talking to your friends.... they were never your friends to begin with! LOL

I am Spanish and this was hilarious 😂, I almost die when you said the fish part but it's completely true. By the way the last one "tu misma" is more like "it's up to you" like saying "I dont care if you do a mistake, I already warned you" 😄 i really laughed so much and I am subscribing, see you soon ❤.

I'm Spanish and I consider we are one of the best people insulting, cursing and swearing (specially gipsies, they're as goddamn good at it that they could even make a stone start crying like a baby), but I have to admit that the insults you can hear from Argentinians are almost like poetry, they've got a special taste on everything related to the art of insulting 😂

Move over, move over: "Te voy a dar una hostia que te va a parecer que te ha pegado Dios."

I would really love her to speak about spaniard expressions like: "I'm going to put you looking in Cuenca's direction"

Lord, trying to watch this video at work while simultaneously holding in the laughter resulted in 17 coughs like Joanna!

Es posible que no me haya dado cuenta hasta ahora de lo brutal que llega a sonar? Que risa el puto vídeo.

El insulto favorito/creativo de mi abuelo era: Me cago en un camión lleno de ángeles conducido por Jesús Cristo

I'm Spanish and when I swear in spanish I realize how bad it is when I translate it into English

Dear Spain,Thank you for passing onto us your cursing skills and habits for more than 3 centuries. Now we are notorious in cursing among our neighbors.Love,The Philippines.

Sé que no te has atrevido con "Me cago en Dios".

Spanish people make swearing the highest art form. I rolled around laughing all of the time once I learned what people were saying.

I live in Québec, and québécois swears are all church related. We have one that is the same as the communion wafer that we use in nearly the same way, ostie. We have lots of others, like tabarnak (tabernacle), câlisse (chalice), viarge (Virgin), criss (christ), sacrament (sacrament), ciboire (pyx), calvaire (Calvary). You can string them together by adding ‘de’ between them. The most common phrase is ‘ostie d’câlisse de tabarnak’.

"The most intense of the Jesus ones" 😂😂😂

"Me cago en todos tus muertos" is definitely 100000% Spain's spanish :D

you know, the thing is that these swears that sound so strong and wrong in english are not really a big thing when we use them. Like, swearing is just a part of our everyday comunication. sure, you wouldn't use them on a formal conversation, but it's weird to have a casual conversation where no one is swearing. like, the one about shitting on your dead relatives might sound wrong, but you can just say it to a friend when they beat you at mario kart, there's really no weight behind it. the meaning of our swears comes more from the context when they are said than the words themselfs.

In spain you can say cara (face) before any kind of food and everyone will understand it as an insult. Cara-bollo Cara-pepino Cara-anchoa Cara-cebolla

Finally us spaniards getting some appreciation (didnt think it would be about cursing, but coming from you, pf course it is)

As a spaniard, now I realize how dirty are our mouths

I wanna learn spanish only to curse. It's brilliant. I'm a portuguese speaker, but we lack this power on our curses.

"We're just combining everything together now somebody get me a FISH"

I am from Spain and I can confirm this video is spot on and hilarious too. Keep it up!

Spaniard cursing was my favorite part of living in Madrid! I’m here for this video!!!!

In Quebec French, they use the French equivalent of “hostia” (which is “hostie”) to swear as well.

"Gilipollas" is actually with "s" at the end even in singular

"Me cago en todo lo cagable" "Me cago en todo lo que se menea". Le echan bolas. They don't discriminate what they shit on.

"Joanna you can say Jesus louder, you're Jewish, He's not listening to you" jajaajjajajjja MORIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

Spaniards: I can swear for 10 minutes straight Romanians: *ah, finally, a worthy opponent *

"I shit on everything that moves" ME CAGOEN TODO LO QUE SE MENEA JAJAJAJAJjja

I'm from Argentina and my dad told me about one time a relative of him said "me cago en Dios y en la Virgen puta". My dad is an atheist and even he was shocked of how blasphemic that was.

Hace algún tiempo circuló un escrito anónimo que muchos atribuyeron erróneamente al escritor y académico de la Real Academia Española Arturo Pérez Reverte, quien desmintió que él fuese su autor, y que iba sobre un taco que no se menta en el video, el taco cuestión es «cojones», y que según como fuese variaba su significado, este es el escrito: «Un ejemplo de la riqueza del lenguaje castellano es el número de acepciones de una simple palabra como puede ser la muy conocida y frecuentemente utilizada que hace referencia a los atributos masculinos, "cojones" Si va acompañado de un numeral, tiene significados distintos, según el número utilizado. Así, "uno" significa caro o costoso (valía un cojón), "dos" significa valentía (tiene dos cojones), "tres" significa desprecio (me importa tres cojones), un número muy grande y par significa dificultad (lograrlo me costó mil pares de cojones). El verbo cambia el significado. "Tener" indica valentía (aquella persona tiene cojones), aunque en admiración puede significar sorpresa (¡tiene cojones¡), "poner" expresa un reto, especialmente si se pone en algunos lugares (puso los cojones encima de la mesa), "tocar" indica paciencia (¡no me toques los cojones¡). Se los utiliza para apostar (me corto los cojones), o para amenazar (te corto los cojones). El tiempo utilizado cambia el significado de la frase. Así el tiempo presente indica molestia o hastío (me toca los cojones), el reflexivo significa vagancia (se toca los cojones), pero el imperativo significa sorpresa (¡tocaté los cojones¡). Los prefijos o sufijos modulan su significado: "a" expresa miedo (acojonado),"des" significa cansancio (descojonado), "udo" indica perfección (cojonudo), pero "azo" se refiere a la indolencia o abulia (cojonazos). Las preposiciones matizan la expresión. "De" significa éxito (me salió de cojones) o cantidad (hacía un frío de cojones), "por" expresa voluntariedad (lo haré por cojones), "hasta" expresa el limite de aguante (estoy hasta los cojones), Pero "con" indica el valor (era un hombre con cojones) y "sin" la cobardía (era un hombre sin cojones). Es distinto el color, la forma, la simple textura o el tamaño. El color violeta expresa el frío (se me quedaron los cojones morados), la forma el cansancio (tenia los cojones cuadrados), pero el desgaste implica experiencia (tenía los cojones pelados de repetirlo). Es importante el tamaño y la posición (tiene dos cojones grandes y bien plantados); sin embargo hay un tamaño máximo (tiene los cojones como el caballo de Espartero) que no puede superarse, porque indica torpeza o vagancia (le cuelgan, se los pisa, se sienta sobre ellos e incluso necesita una carretilla para llevarlos). La interjección ¡cojones! Significa sorpresa, y cuando uno se halla perplejo los solicita (¡ manda cojones!). En ese lugar reside la voluntad y de allí surgen las órdenes (me sale de los cojones). En resumen, será difícil encontrar una palabra en castellano o en otros idiomas con mayor número de acepciones.»

my spanish teacher interrupted pretty much every sentence he said with joder

"Me cago en la reostia" is like "I shit in the communion wafer raised to the power of 2."

I think my favourite spanish swearword is "abrazafarolas" which translates as "lamppost-hugger". Simply splendid.

I died at "you can say Jesus louder, you're Jewish, he's not listening to you"

Another one: 'Te voy a dar tal hostia que vas a aplaudir con las orejas'

U forgot the classical "Mecagondios"

Ok so I'm Swedish, and while I lived in Germany I could always swear in Swedish cause no one understood me (I went to an English-speaking school). The problem is now I live in Sweden again, and here I can't swear in either Swedish or English because people understand both, and German curses sound to similar to Swedish ones. So what I am trying to say is thank you for giving me a language I can swear in that no one understands here. Also get f*cked by a fish just sounds like such a genuine f*ck off.

"tu misma" my God, the shade ...

Jajajaja vivo en España y hostia como me he reído con este video. XD

Mi madre cuando se enfadaba siempre decía "Me cago en San Polvorón con la pata al hombro!" Todavía no sé qué sentido tiene pero me sigue haciendo gracia xd

“Spain is a very Catholic country, which is the most intense of the Jesus ones.”

i'm spanish and i say most of this insults all the time（i shit on everything😂😂😂）but in Spanish they do not look as silly as in English. You are great, i had such a great time watching this video, please keep doing this cause you are awesome😊 Also, “tú misma” is said like in a “tú verás lo que haces” or “atente a las consecuencias de lo que hagas” way.

Omg I lost it when he said “somebody get me a fish” 😂 que risa Me cago en tú canal tía Lmao

"The most intense of the jesus ones" ~Joanna, 2018

Spanish cursing is the best

Being spanish this is so funny to watch😂😂😂

"Que te den con una caña rajá untá en vinagre y sal" Voilà!

Have ONLY JUST come across this channel 🤣🤣🤣 I am crying laughing! I’m from London, and the first words I learned in Español by my Spanish friends were swear words! I love this! I’m relearning the language, but I love this and Puerto Rican curses!

I used to live in Catalonia, Spain. And I have to admit Spanish people have a talent when cursing 😂

Great video! As a Spaniard myself I feel the need to clear up that "tú mismo" or "tú misma" is not an insult, but more of a statement. I would translate it as "it's on you" or "do whatever you like". You're basically saying that you disagree with what that person wants to do and you want nothing to do with the consequences of it, that whatever happens will be their responsibility and it is on them. So I can see how it could start a row but it only makes sense within a similar context, not on on its own.

I love how freaking accurate this is joder! xDD I have watched this video several times already and I never get tired of it. Joanna's wonder at spanish curses makes x10 times better.

“Te voy a dar una hostia que no hay músico que toque lo que bailes” sin duda esta frase es la mejor. Made in Vallecas 🤣.

Me cago en Dios. This one is not particularly offensive to us, but my brazilian friends freaked out with it. I have no more brazilian friends...

Joder! I lived in Valencia, Spain and I have to say Joa you nailed this! This is so hilarious haha

Ja ja buenísimo Joanna! Me he descojonado de risa con el vídeo, bordas el acento! Saludos desde Madrid

Somebody, my dear Spaniard come be my friend . Teach me all the swear words there ever is. Let’s do this.

Finally talking about Spaniards!! Jaja mi gente! My favorite is the ‘vete a freír espárragos.’ 😆 Great one

“Me cago en....” probs the first phrase I learned! 👋 Thanks mom! 🇵🇷😂😂😂

"Get f**** by a fish!" "Go cook some asparagus!" My new curse phrases.

In my country you can say "When you fell down the tree of ugliness, you took all the limbs with you"

ONE OF US! ONE OF US! Saludos desde España! Eres la mejor, Joanna!!!!!

Me encanta! No me había dado cuenta de que nuestros tacos sonaban tan duros hasta que he visto este vídeo desde otra perspectiva

Real funny stuff. Still can't stop laughing 😂 Could you make a separate video about Argentinian cursing and how poetic it usually is?

Aquel inolvidable "Me cago en los clavos de Cristo!" me parecía siempre tan graciosamente blasfemo que se transformó en mi frase clásica imitando el acento...

Ah yes, saying "hijo de la gran perra" in Venezuela is such a fable-like experience, so romantic. 😂

So Ostras is a "softer" version of ostia, and miércoles = mierda For folks who want to keep it a little less vulgar but still get mad. 😂

I love Joanna. You are a beautiful human inside and out. Thank you for helping me, REINA!

"Tú misma" is more like "do what u want, after an explanation of why you shouldnt" XD

"Eat my balls like a priest eats cabbage on Xmas Eve" - it's in Serbian ("ma napasas mi se muda ko pop sarmi na badnje vece") p.s. I'm not Serbian nor do I speak Serbian but I love this one

Soy española y me estaba ya meando de la risa jajaja muy muy real, los españoles somos MUY directos. Los latinoamericanos son como mas educados en ese sentido y tardan mil siglos en hacer una pregunta insulto petición... los españoles somos más bruscos si jajaj

tbh Chileans and Argentinians are the kings of cursing. Honestly the creativity it's put onto it is mesmerizing. I love my language

in the Netherlands, we swear with deceases, most of the deceases don't exist anymore, like typhoid. but we use cancer as an adverb as well. like:'it's cancer cold outside!" 'I'm cancer tired' or 'your cancer mother"(when somebody insults you not okay holland.. not okay (I have to say tho that not everyone swears with cancer, even we think it's to much)

I'm currently living in Spain and Joanna was soooo accurate!! 😍 There's loads more too.

Ok so this is not about spanish but related to the ostia thing. In Quebec, the vast majority of our swears are based on catholic words. A lovely sentence like "osti de calis j'men tabarnak" means i really don't care, but literally translates to "communion wafer of the chalice (ceremonial cup for the wine) i don't tabernacle (large place of worship)". What's fun about that phrase is, you can swap some words and the meaning doesn't change. So "osti de tabarnak j'men calis'' is totally the same as "osti de calis j'men tabarnak".

I am moving to Spain in a few months, and I have discovered this video just in time!

Spain: "we curse very heavily, like no tomorrow" Italy: "hold on my beer..."