I'm not a parent. But I'd imagine there should be a middle ground between a tiger mom & a Gen X 'let the kid do whatever he/she wants' that should happen. Instead of 4 hours of practice, 2 hours and 2 hours to do whatever you want. A balance between structure and freedom.

She's like the reactionary manifestation of the Me generation that rewards kids all the time and refuses to be critical. She's all about discipline and criticism to get results, less about love and understanding. You need both approaches!

Well, Michael Jackson was deprived of a childhood and that scarred him, despite it making him very successful. I don't see how this ends well for the kids.

while i agree overall on what she says. controlling her childern lives is too much. discipline is good. but a devouring mother? that's a nightmare

How the hell is calling your kid "garbage" motivating them to get better?

Tiger mom is a perfectionist. I swear, her way of raising children is just as bad as having kids rule the house.

Superiority = big ego Insecurity = low self esteem Worst type of people to have to interact with in my opinion.

For those people who are saying this is "racist", the point about Nigerians are spot on. I went to school with many exceptional people, some of them went on to study at MIT. One of them, an African American, was indeed NIGERIAN (he had lived in Nigeria, immigrated to the USA). He had an amazing WORK ETHIC and sense of fidelity and values. He is black, other African Americans are black. Is it really a genetic difference that is holding whites and blacks behind compared to Jews and Asians? Or is it culture? What makes Nigerians so special? A very thought provoking segment.

Also my mom wanted me to study piano for 4 hours at day and I stopped playing piano; do you think the two things are related?

I think tiger moms are not aiming at make their kids succesfull and happy, they just want to have children they can be proud of when they are with their friends.

I went to a VERY academic high school with many students whose parents were exactly like this. My parents by contrast let me do pretty much whatever I wanted, helped me whenever I needed it and understood and accepted when I failed at something. Those kids with the "tiger" moms are in the EXACT same place as I am now- in fact many are LESS successful than I am personally and professionally.

6:33 his eyes say it all

"Your kids love you?" "I think they do!" The fact she has to say "I think they do" and not "I know they do" is kind of concerning to me.

" true self esteem has to be earned " gotta agree

Id rather have strict parents rather than parents like mine that didnt care about my future.

This is very common and normal in Asian households. 😊 Nothing new.

I am half black, half Thai, and neither parent was there much of my life. My grandmother (dad's mom) was pretty close to being a tiger mom while in my life (a clinical psychology professor) and all of the successes I have achieved in my life, I give credit to her. I am on the verge of starting law school, not many people can say that and with parents who wish only the best with no guidance, children are more likely to shoot up schools than graduate from them.

I'm a strong advocate of discipline, but even for me, this seems too harsh.

You need a balance. Give kids useful discipline like house chores, a variety of mandatory volunteer experiences in the community, spiritual discipline, health discipline, career research discipline. Don’t just force them into a career. You can force useful hobbies and practices on them when they are children, but also allow them to be themselves and communicate with you openly (by being accepting even if you don’t understand everything they’re thinking) and support them in their predispositions. Everyone is made for something different. Not everyone has to excel at $100k+ careers. Some people just want to work and start families and be involved in non-profit projects for the community. We have to try to be flexible. Teach your kids discipline and the emotional skills to discover and recover.

These parents be raising literal computers with no purpose Outstanding move

You dont need to be a strict parent to have kids that excel. I have played games most of my life, and done things to strengthen my mind, and thats why I excel at most things that I do. In fact, one of the only things I dont excel in is socializing. Thats only because i'm a very evil person, though. I'm a straight, white, conservative, male. No surprise that I cant make friends.

Forcing is when a child will do something when you're their, passion is when they'll do it when you're not

Hard to believe that depriving your children from being children will always result in top class citizens. They might be people who developed talents but might be also people who need to be told what to do. It is kind of like drugs. I know 2 guys like this. I repeat, it is hard to believe.

Parents, please do this, turn your kids into well educated submissive nervous wrecks, Than I only need to teach my kids to shout orders in dominant enough voice and he/she will be master of the entire population.

This is AWFUL. Imagine if one of her kids had a learning disability or other disabling condition that hindered their ability at something. If your kids aren't HAPPY, that's not success.

Pretty sure my parents got it right. I was allowed to pretty much whatever i wanted, but i didnt... because my parents taught me what the right and safe thing to do was I felt free, but guided. Which i think is the right way to raise a kid

She avoided that last question about her girls saying I love you. The woman flat out deflected. To me, that suggests "no".

Hell, this is still better than how most millenials were raised: "you're perfect baby, even if you're covered in Cheetos dust and play video games 16 hours a day." Not optimal. But better than most.

Well... being called "garbage" is quite flattering compared to what my parents call me lmao

We as mothers can never take full credit for our children's successes ,we cannot thank enough the amazing people, super teachers inspirational coaches, generous sponsors. They also invest their valuable time and effort towards encouraging and inspiring our children to strive and achieve. Gratitude is heart felt.

"I think they love me." You mean you're not sure?! Jeebus. 😱

She would have pulled her hair out trying to raise me. I was a wild one. But now I live under a bridge so...

The problem with these kinds of parents is that they're brainwashed into believing that there's only one way to be successful in life and that's through education and income. I've never been to college and I work as a janitor but because I'm not in debt I get to travel or do things instead of constantly working, working, working. At the end of the day nobody gives a damn how great someone did in school or what their job is. They care about who they are as a unique individual and what cool, good things they've done in their lives.

Kids need balance in life. Tiger parenting isn't bad because it taught me how to be a better person and how to respect others. However I was given two hours of play time on the computer once a day, that was truly a reward. Now that I'm older it kind of sucks because I wish I had it befor blinding myself.

This is real life Dark Souls. The Boss fight might take several hours but the end is complete harmony.

I was brought up with parents that I felt always let me do whatever I wanted they tried to teach me to have good judgement and while I have great self esteem, confidence, I’m not a over sensitive person, and have great values from my parents I always felt I needed to be pushed further to this day I struggle to push myself through stuff that has to get done just because I don’t like it and I really hate that about myself I’m always procrastinating because I need the stress that waiting till last minute gives me just to push myself to get things done that should’ve been done a month ago, it’s embarrassing. Now that I have a kid I knew I wanted to be more disciplined and push for success I just had no idea how that looked like I appreciate this book so much! While I will never embarrass my daughter by calling her garbage I would say something along the lines of “you can do better than that” and “that was terrible work”

Ngerian parenting stuff . I totally agree her . I did not appreciate it when mine "pushed" me but I understand it as "encouragement " now ! So I give mine, extra tutoring ,timed home exam practice ! I have invested time networked and researched for sponsorship support to help them. Hours of practice helped them achieve highly in sports and education. Winning scholarship, top grades ,intobtop schools , signing for elite sports teams is praiseworthy on the one hand but she is so right about instilling that touch of insecurity. Never let them rest on their laurels - they have to work harder. So I also tell them - you're not done, work harder - there's always someone better than you !

A good parent lets their children, explore the world and pursue their own passions without any judgment from the parent, as long as they’re safe, of course

6:24 Honestly, out of all things about learning, that "click in the head" moment is EASILY the most powerful yet the most mysterious. Especially considering that it can happen under tiger parenting and free range parenting.

P.S. to this story. Mother and Father are law professors at Yale. Older daughter is a high-achieving law graduate. Younger daughter is about to become a lawyer too.

The type of person who dies alone in a nursing home.

I think I would choose cancer over having her as my mother.

Her kids definitely seem like they don't hate themselves, their mom and about everyone else. Yes, because grades and violin are way more important than social skills. Who needs to know how to talk to others to become a lawyer? Obviously nobody.

This is a really easy way to get your kids to resent you for not giving them a childhood.

I'd imsgine that the kids will be so happy to leave her

Remember the KOCH patriarch was a tiger dad.

That tiger mom is going to have her kids grow up and resent her, and they will definitely put her in the shittiest retirement home they can find. I grew up with Bible-thumping parents who wouldn’t let me do anything, and now I’m 28 years old, and moved to the next county over to avoid them at all costs.

It’s called raising a child the old fashion way. It isn’t going to work for ever child but it’ works for most children. There is nothing wrong with it. She is right about 95% of it My brother and sister in-law raise their children this way. They are now outstanding young adults and very successful in everything they do and try. I watch them growing up. I admit I was critical of the way they were raising their children how wrong I was

She’s still insane and there’s a reason these kids don’t do anything after college

the only two positive points was the reading a book for a hour is good in early development, and that moment the mom forced her daughter to stick with piano even though she wanted to give and later that same day the daughter was able to play both hands at once. That being said she is too stick and that may cause social problems later in the kids life. pros and cons.

They define "success" as wealth and status. It's all about making the family look good. They don't care what their children want. Narcissism at it's finest.

This is a tough subject, I know for myself it might not have worked, and I know plenty of other people who wouldn't benefit from it. We humans have this innate thing called 'rebelliousness', lol, and being forced to do something that just isn't fun or even interesting would leave a bad taste in our mouths, make us resentful. One good thing about a 'Tiger Mom' or dad would be that their children would know RESPECT. I've seen way too many kids running roughshod over their parents and generally being little shits... that's when you really need a 'Tiger Mom'. ;}

Maybe saying "You're being garbage" rather than "You are garbage" sends the "You're better than that." - james

To mean she's mean. She wants them to succeed for her own glory.

I don't have children but I am in Human Resources. From what I see she's doing is teaching them how to excel at something, but the one thing that America has and has always had is the ability to think outside of the box. Our creativity is unmatched. Just look at Hollywood. This Tiger Mom is raising kids to be good worker bees, but will they have the ability to actually think outside of the box? So, this means that someone will come up with a concept; however, it will be her worker bee children who actually make the concept some type of reality.

I like to hear what the children have to say about their upbringing.

Funny that the strict mom is one of the few moms that hasn't descended to into being a slob

She probably shouldn't be surprised when her kids never call

I could totally relate to her mindset. My mom was a lioness not a tiger mom. She let me have freedom as long as I followed the rules, studied and got good grades, the expectation being Bs and As. For extracurriculars, she let me choose the activity, in the end expected me to work hard to be good at it. Most of the time, she was a pretty chill mom, we had our arguments, yet she never gave up on me.

“you can do anything you want in your life” but you restrict them from certain things you dont want them to do...

My mom called my school performance as trash, even though I showed her my 4.0 gpa every report card. Fast forward to modern day, I make 6 figures but the relationship with my mom is broken and we hate each other.

This is actually called a Soccer Mom in America...

One thing , her kids won't still be living at home when they're 25-35

While i do support what she did, i believe in delay of gratification, hard work, not spoiling & building moral & values. I do know that sometimes the way she raised her kids, can cause the kid to become extremely rebellious whenever they turn 18 and start becoming independent and completely fall apart, I've seen it happen personally with extremely strict parents, more than a few times. So if your going to follow her lead and be this way with your children, don't do it blindly and really pay attention & do it smart, don't expect everything to go perfectly, because sometimes the kid ends up OD'ing or become extremely promiscuous or just kill themselves, I've seen all these things happen

Notice how there's no father in the video, I wonder why?

I’ve noticed in my high school the kids with the strictest parents tended be the most fuck up, and usually do a lot of drugs and are addicted to nicotine.

This is a true mother. Unfortunately too many uninvolved parents that want the children to have no structure or discipline critique mothers like this but if you listen to her children speak you will see right away how effective she is.

It’s great that parents have expectations of the kids! Kids need guidance . I grew up and there were no expectations! Result well just say I lost 2 brothers one to suicide and one two a dui! I look back at my BFF and it wasn’t a choice u r going to college. My friend is very successful! I think parents should have a individual bar for there kids!

You got an OK violinist and pianist no software entrepreneur. No rebel just two conforming followers. They would be great in Harvard!

A character in a Kurt Vonnegut novel commented on a little girl who was forced to become an Olympic swimmer. His comment, what kind of father turns his little girl into an outboard motor?

you have to have balance in life all work and no play will just make your kids out cast. all book knowledge but no common sense at all to survive the real world. the sad part is i know kids and adult that wear raise like this and most them look helpless when there in large groups that because they don't know how to socialize. To be bunt they become kind useless outside their little bottle. even though i am disable can't write or spell without the aid of a machine my parent try to teach me balance part book knowledge and part real life.

My mum made me practice every day, we even took the violin on holidays. I got a music scholarship to an elite private girl's school, then when I was 17, I started my own violin teaching business from home making $50 an hour while my friends were serving coffee on minimum wage.

My parents are Bangladeshi immigrants and I am the youngest out of three and my sisters as told by me were always pushed harder to “set an example for me” my mom was extremely strict and some times had to bring out corporal punishment on them however, as I got older I admired my sisters they were top 30 in high school, part of NHS, played multiple instruments and even volunteered at local hospitals. If it wasn’t for my parent to actively push them then god knows who I would look up to as now I am graduating high school and both my older sisters will graduate college one has an internship lined up in her career field, the other is planning on going to grad school.... and me? Well I am 4th in my class, take college level courses, scored above the 90th percentile on the SAT and I recently got accepted to really good college for computer science. I know many people here will consider this bragging but I am not for us especially from and south Asian immigrant background education and hard work is expected for many of us and hence that is why my parents my sisters and myself so we can be a set example for generations to come. Do I agree that you must super strict and constructive in parenting? Of course not however, discipline and a sense of determination can be instilled just like my parents did for me and my sisters. Last thing I would like to say is that I feel as if so parents who push their kids and are “helicopter” or “tiger” parents are seemed to only be pushed by immigrants, minority and the working class but why can’t you be this so called “tiger” mom/dad for a kid to pursue a trade? Or a small business? It seems to me from this video the mom wanted to push her kids to excel at very prestigious and white collar attributes(nothing wrong with it) however would this admiration for her parenting skills and tactics be felt the same for a parent that pushed there child to pursue a trade or starting a small business? How about instead of going to college why not work hard at a job and build your own small business? Just curious because I feel as if so the latter point I mentioned is a good majority of parents in the US who want to push their kids butndont believe that learning the piano or getting amazing grades will automatically make you successful Because at the end of the day my next door neighbor own a landscaping company and does very well and he hasn’t step foot in a college classroom. Thank you for listening and criticism is always accepted please not hate !!😄

Grades and money do not equal happiness. Happiness is inner success when it is not based off of indulgences but self responsibility and completion. This woman is stupid. All your doing is pushing your kids away from you, as well as themselves.

Tiger parenting needs to be a criminal offence around the globe, no matter what.

I grew up as a southerner kid...GREAT parents free as a bird being a boy (until the porch light came on and better be home) in the 70/80 era. Enlisted in the Air Force and blah blah...ended up working in an office with a woman I thought was crazy...didn't know labels. She wouldn't allow her son to call her Mom but by first name. I couldn't comprehend that then or now 30yrs later and I still despise (momma taught me not to hate) that woman and can't understand. I think of her son and wonder how he turned out...and it breaks my heart. That poor kid.

So this is the real life mom from “Fresh off the Boat” 😐

Is that roll only for mom or can dad join 2? and if so, should both parents be tigers or is one enough?

Do your kids love you? I THINK they love me!

Great mom! All children are capable of so much. We need more real parents. All the power to moms with vision!!!

She gave her kids the ability to become amazing at whatever they decide to do

This woman and others like her are really screwing things up.

Tiger mom is what I like to call a force feeder. In fear of her children not being successful she makes life suck for them. Like really no sleep overs, no complaining!? As someone who knows kids like that most just grow resentful.

Not all kids are the same, the daughter with a tiger mom that killed her mom and dad and locked her sisters in a room

I feel so sorry for your children. Good luck to them. You however deserve whatever you get. My god. 😲😲😲😲😲

Tiger mom to such an extreme is just the recipe of the "Golden Child" from narcissistic parents. "Do whatever" parenting produce covert-narcissistic traits (I want to be recognized but people disagree so pitty me) Tiger mom produces overt-narcissistic traits (I'm good so submit, if you don't I'm in danger) By completely disregarding her child's' desires and wants she's teaching them that there is a form/image that has inherent value, that it isn't them, and that if they fail to present themselves as such they're "Garbage".

Just a normal asian parenting. And it’s really great!

Amazing

it giving "why don't my kids talk to me"

Her kids never had the chance to find out what they would be so passionate about that they would practice it for hours voluntarily. She denied them that experience. If you let them, often children will find an activity that they will pursue with passion. She even stated several times in her book how passionate the violin playing daughter would be after lessons or discussions with certain teachers, and STILL she did not pick up their methods, but resorted to yelling, demeaning, threatening.

Love it

My parents didn't care and said it was my life and I could do what I wanted. I wish they would have pushed me. A kid doesn't know what's good for themselves and they'll be thankful later in life for the knowledge, skills and success they've gained by having a dedicated parent.

School should stay at school and home should stay at home

NO SLEEPOVERS!!!! NO SCHOOL PLAY!!! What good does that do?

I'm Asian and I had the same treatment and dearly love my mom and thank her for raising me that way

I know exactly what the Tiger Mom is saying. I didn't know it had a name, but my children were raised with the same guidance, I told them "you're better than everyone else, but is that the best you can do?" They heard me and, most importantly, they saw it in action when I did projects perfectly but not upto my own satisfaction. Self glorification, and self criticism all bundled into a principle of standards. "Son! That really is terrific, but...", "daughter you reall did a great job, it's beautiful, but..."

This woman feels like the prototypical Leninist mom, crushing dissent and central planning her children's life.

All of you guys who thinks this mom is mean you all have not experience a thing like this so you dont know, we pacific islanders were raised like this. We cant sleep pass 0600 and we do chores all day long we werent allowed to do alot of things and we did not have tv or internet. Im very grateful we lived a life this way we can survive on our own and do alot things ourself.most of you who thinks this woman is bad just wait till your gone and see if your kids can survive on their own

I LOVE HER❤

That's literally my mom minus that weird school play thing