In short, Narcissism.

So true

100% true

💯

@@TLW369😂😂😂😂

Yep. Once they leave, that's it no matter how close you thought you were..

Not always. I have a few friends from jobs I had years ago. They are rare but can be found.

Yeah but it’s that the same for all friendships? You make friends in school. Move to a different town and you don’t see or hear from most of them ever again.

Many ppl find their spouses/partners at work. Where else is anyone going to see you on an everyday level. Even though it's a controlled environment it can work. As you can see what ppl's character is like. Same with friends.

It's difficult to make lifelong friends after high school. For most people their closest friends are from high school.

Pretty much

Thank god!!!

Omg so true

Yep.....I've had countless jobs in my 25 years of working and have made no friends from them.

That is so true

Especially if your manager wants to fuck but you just want to make money...

That’s what I do. It is work and that’s what we are there for. I would rather be known for doing a great job at work rather than being ‘popular’ with colleagues.

It's no simple. You can not always make excuses for after work parties/meetings.... One has to be mature, psychological training... Set boundaries.

Facts

My mother told me the same thing, what she didn't tell me was how unacceptable that behavior is to my coworkers and how they will undermine your efforts, smear campaign you, and create a toxic environment for you, they begin to view you as the enemy, it's the.... if you're not one of us, you must be one of them, mindsets

I had one boss who continued to reach out and go to dinner with me for a couple years after I quit. She also invited me to her family thanksgiving one year which I graciously accepted. We did eventually stop communicating but I do think you can make some genuine connections at work. Sometimes.

same reason we paid everything off refi ed our house and i quit the rat race...American coporations dont give a dam about you, you are a commodity and if you are not making money for them you are out of there...screw them!

Exactly. It's great to enjoy your job but never ever think you're work defines you. They'll cut you loose and forget you no matter how great you were. Never live for the weekends partying. Try to see each day as a magical day where something great can happen.

That's not true. I had to get a reference for another job recently and the recruiter reached out to my first employer. She told me that they said that they still talk about me there and how good of a worker I was. And it's been 6 years since I worked there. I reached out to them to thank them for the reference and my previous boss told me my name constantly comes up at the Christmas parties and work events. Everyone really loved me there. There are rare moments in life where you can make a lasting impression on people.

@@signalfire15 Yes, there will be times you make a lasting impression on people, but once those people are gone from the company there will be no more talk of what a hard worker you were. In your particular instance the individual was asked for input about your performance and your former coworker clearly wanted to provide a positive response because sometimes people do have relationships at work, but Companies have resources. Anyone you don’t have a personal relationship with will always see you as a resource because that is what the company wants. They want to be able to use you for what they need and dispose of you when they want and compensate you at the lowest cost possible. I worked for a company for 34 years and was laid off. My company escorts people out on their last day. It’s pretty standard.

I agree but what if they start to hold that against you?!

so then where else are u gonna make friends?

@@iiCounted-op5jx….the world has become incredibly Non-Social, so it is incredibly limited. I’m from Gen X & communication was a thing then, not so much anymore. I wish you well, buddy..

@@iiCounted-op5jx nothing is written in stone. There are always exceptions to every rule. It's possible you could make a lifelong friend at work, but tread carefully. The workplace is an environment fraught with pitfalls and landmines. Sometimes, people aren't what they appear to be. Sadly, employers often foster a culture that pits employees against one another. The best advice I can give is, keep your business to yourself, no matter how friendly your coworkers may seem to be.

Thank you. This is the best advice for me. I bought lunches for two of my co-workers. Both of them never thanked me for the free meals. Instead they gossiped about me to other co-workers. I thought they were my friends. I was wrong.

Every company that I have worked for that has used that phrase in the hiring process, has been like family. An extremely toxic and dysfunctional one.

@@cathybutcher4826 exactly. Excellent point.

@@cathybutcher4826 😂😂😂😂😂 I agreed.

That is also how cults operate. Definitely a warning sign.

@@nicholascarroll1225 yep! Cults pray on people who are lost and searching for connection. No friends? We'll be your friend. No family? We'll be your family.

that's the entire workforce in each hospital in Ca. areas. You have to figure out what you were willing to share and that way if the info is used against you, it doesn't hurt. But you have to give them some info, otherwise they feel like you don't like them and they gang up against you.Where as other states i've worked in, it's not required for you to reveal info about yourself and it's not seen as negative.

This. 100%

Cause they are bored

I've had people I didn't even talk to do that to me because (I found out later) they were afraid I'd take their job at some point. Apparently, I was better at doing their old job than they were. I was 'let go' because, and I am not kidding, I was seen rolling my eyes. **insert eye roll here**

This is so common. It's especially common if you're bright, hardworking, and really competent. If you exceed goals too much, to do too well, even your own boss will consider you a threat. Never mistake ANYONE in HR as your friend, and never assume they are there to help you, even if you are being truly harassed. If anything, they'll take notes to create a fake file of "documentation" of complaints and errors. They will do anything to keep from having to pay you for unemployment or workmen's comp injuries, even when it's GLARINGLY their fault. I was so naive about all this when I was younger. Now I try to help others who don't know these things.

Agreed. And take the ‘we’re a family’ company values etc. with a grain of salt. Its a HR thing, its not real. Keep your real friendships and family strong outside of work so you never forget who you are and that you have support beyond the workplace.

Same here

I gotta say I think that the workplace must be a nicer environment to be in if everyone doesn't hate your guts though...

so then where the heck else are you supposed to make friends?

Think they are all fake friends now.

@@nursejoed lol I didn’t say be an asshole to your co-workers.. what I mean is I wouldn’t be buddies with them and hang out outside of work!

I aspire to be this 😍😍😍

I did this at my previous job and they tried to tell me I lack team work skills lol

@@user-bb6vp7zw7i lol you do know the worlds best leaders or business owners are loners and introverts ? Ask Jeff bezos, Elon musk, and bill gates. All known introverts or weirdo’s in your book and they are worth billions. Y’all extroverts will join the rat race while the loners quietly strategize and become more successful.

As long as you do your job they have to accept it

it's a blessed space to be in, and a launchpad to a substantially better situation... trust!

When you resign you find out who your "real" work friends are lol

So true!

Never got how hard times define relationships. Truth is most hard times people invite into their own lives then look for their friends to save them. Nah, you did the hole, now dig your way out. Self accountability is the key. I don't ask you to suffer with me and I won't choose to suffer with you.

@@thegodblogger3812 That's true. But, it's still nice to have some support from friends, right ?

@@SpringNotes It's nice, yeah. But I refuse to be disappointed when they don't come through. A friend indeed is a friend NOT IN NEED. 😒

Agreed. I was given advice to not give two weeks but I had put so much energy into the people and company that I thought they deserved the extra effort

@@JoshHitti and they repaid that by escorting you out of the building like you’re a thief! You should of said something spiteful and sarcastic on your way out 😂

@@JoshHitti I dont give notice to no employer anymore. The only time I would do that is when im retiring.

@Josh Hitti You have shown here you have true strength of character, hold your head up high and good luck in your new job.

@@mariekano9730 but I thought if you don’t give notice you don’t get references?

It's brainwashing.

agree 100%

It's narcissism. ☹

@@Mike90317 Read Edward Bernays Propaganda, its exactly what it is.

I love making good friends at work, but it's very rare. I have started viewing work as a means to an end. I cannot wrap up my emotions in my work like I used to (If I can help it). I am still human after all. But some people have taken my attitude towards work as me not caring. But it's really me putting my job in it's proper place. If I wanted to maintain my personal happiness I had to disconnect emotionally from the job.

100% true unfortunately.

Wise. To know the distinction.

Great distinction

definitely how i view things

definitely how i view things

Exactly. It’s all transactional! I’ve learned over the years. Don’t be down.

I grab one friend that stays for years longer from each one of my jobs. Idk… that’s just been my experience.

That's most corporation and government job are design like that. No hard feelings. just consider it as another real life experience on your resume. lol

Live with your team!enjoy

Cost of goods! Most definitely!

I finally escaped (early retired) from hospital employment. I feel like I'm going through all the stages of grief and ptsd. 35 years of absolute misery. I'm now concentrating on exercise healthy eating and emotional health. Best wishes to you.

I’ve worked at the hospital now for 14 years and I can say the hospital environment is very toxic! Especially since covid. Everyone is burnt out and turning against each other. Every unit is short staffed now because of stress leave. Maybe leaving the hospital was a blessing in disguise for you.

Sounds like it was your fault.

Sorry to hear that man, I’m actually going through the same thing except I work in pathology lab. I was very naive my first year thinking everyone was my friend and later hearing stupid rumors about me. I observed that the really friendly ones are the ones that talk behind your back. Anyways I hope you’re in a better work place and working with much better people. I’m close to completing my 4th year and actually transitioning to tech in 2023. I know it’s probably gonna be the same in my next company, but at least I’ll get a fresh start and probably just mind my own business.

stupid democrats destroy the nuclear family and then expect their jobs to be their family

100 percent agree

This is not true. This is wholly situational and work place environment dependent. Have worked in the same company for 17 years and have worked with many people at many different levels. We ALL routed for each other and celebrated achievements and promotions and meant it. I feel so many people go into positions with a solely self centered view these days that It’s next to impossible to find anyone who is there for anything but a paycheck. Folks I’ve known at my company for 10+ years we feel the same. Most folks who have been there 5 years or less don’t feel the same, and usually don’t last longer than 2-5 years before they move on for a different pay check.

@@sha2596 Both can be true.

This is so true, people change their attitude when you leave for a better position. Suddenly they dont reach out, talk with me. As if I did something to them

You don't need them, let them go.

😂😂😂

@@omovitruviano I did. In retrospect they were jealous because after having a baby in 2007 I decided to stay at home. Best decision as my son is now 16. My only regret is the time & energy I invested in those "friendships".

It really sucks when you realize a relationship is only continuing to exist because you are putting in the effort and never the other person

Absolutely spot on.

Yep. This even applies to a family business. Wish I didn’t sacrifice as much as I did for it but I’ve learned my lesson.

stupid democrats destroy the nuclear family and then expect their jobs to be their family

Well said James!!!

Yes, the only value that any company has is profit. We should also only value personal profit from these places. If you aren’t getting what you need, drop them like they would drop you

Great points, especially on what friendship actually means. Cheers

Same here. Extremely difficult making true lasting friendships at work. I've seen it happen with other people, but not in my case.

@@JoshHitti I've realised probably my only true friend is my sister. Everyone else has come and gone or doesn't really know me but I am very fortunate to have always had a great relationship with her.

Agree with this so much. I talk shit with my coworker thru text. I feel like so much shit after telling her stuff. Sometimes I’ve gotten slightly personal…and then I have to realize she’s not my friend.

stupid democrats destroy the nuclear family and then expect their jobs to be their family

There’s actually a lot of life lessons one can learn from watching The Godfather films.

All roads lead to Rome.

Also stay away from oranges

The fact that they never cared about you but pretended is the most devastating. It's like, if you don't like me, just tell me "fu€k off and leave me alone." Please. Just do that instead of giving me a fake smile and acting like you like me at work. It'll hurt, but it hurts a he11 of a lot less than getting my hopes up.

@@yayoudo1 I make adult content, hah

Yeah. I worked for a family business (which ended up closing, thank God) and it was the worst place ever! Will never again do that!

​​@@DrStarrASMR😂😂😂oh wow. @adult content. Daaaamn. Also, family owned businesses are the devil

😝😆😂😂

Good for you man you aren’t a personal Uber driver like tf lol

Aaron, i knew the whole " we are one family " one the blokes at work left after 16 years. He'd been with the company since the age of 16. Apprentice to area manager. No leaving do, nothing. He invited 8 of colleagues to his stag do none of them showed up. I was chuffed when he asked me to be attend and it showed he valued my presence around him. The atmosphere was fun but quieter that evening the whole time i thought wow " fake work friends".

Even though I have been at my job for 15 years, 99% of the people who talk to me at work I just think to myself, "why are they talking to me?" Once a co-worker leaves, you never hear from them again even though they give you their private email. I fell for that a couple of times.

Did you reach out to them though?

@@what3899 ya I did, but half the time they wouldn't respond or at work it would just be general stuff we talk about. Unless I directly asked about doing something they wouldn't really give me the time of day.

Damn it's pretty disheartening hearing people have these experiences. I worked at Walmart for 6 years and I've met 4 people I consider close friends (one of them is currently my boyfriend). We go on vacations together and We still make time to hang out every now and then eventho we all have different jobs now. I love those guys. Some of the best people I've ever met.

Truth.

"Getting too chummy with the people you work with can backfire on you in a big way. Keep it simple. Be polite, stick to the basic pleasantries and maintain a respectful and professional attitude." Bad advice. If you seek not to make friends at one of the places you spend a large portion of your adult life at, then how do you expect to make new friends at all?

@@lmfao69420 - Most of us have family and friends outside of work to fulfill the needs we have to interact with others. Whilst it's not uncommon to become friends with people you work with (been there and done it in my 20's and 30's), it's not where the majority of us find our main social outlet as we get older. I'm reminded of a comment Jerry Seinfeld once said. Most of us eventually reach a point where we don't have an interest of wanting to make new friends. Or as he put it "audition for a spot in your life!". Why? - Because a real friendship takes time to form. You establish that with people over years. Through shared interests, experiences and memories. I know as I get older (inching into my late 40's), the likelihood of being able to find that again (in a work environment) from scratch is something I'm not holding my breath on, nor is it something I have a vested interest in seeking out. Even more so if your colleagues are of different ages, and at different points in their life to you. I'm currently working in a team of people significantly younger than me whom I have little in common with. Don't get me wrong, no issues personally or professionally, but they are at stages in their lives I was at years ago (going out clubbing, in and out of relationships, dealing with parents etc). Consequently, their conversations and what they're into holds little interest to me on a personal level. But again, no issues work wise Again, if you become friends with work colleagues and you later fall out with them, things tend to get awkward very quick. I've seen it happen more than once.

stupid democrats destroy the nuclear family and then expect their jobs to be their family

@@woohooboy That certainly makes it difficult then for people your age who DO want to make friends. I appreciate the detailed reply, regardless. "I'm currently working in a team of people significantly younger than me whom I have little in common with. Don't get me wrong, no issues personally or professionally, but they are at stages in their lives I was at years ago (going out clubbing, in and out of relationships, dealing with parents etc). Consequently, their conversations and what they're into holds little interest to me on a personal level." So all they are able to talk about is their personal lives? Sounds like pretty boring people, so maybe you are better off.

Same as school project mates. After project, go our own way

😂😂😂

One of them is “we value work life balance”….this is one of the biggest lies!!!

That book was published in 1988 by Harvey B Mackay.A wonderful read and i’ve owned it for years and still read it.A classic!.

@@leedaniels7196 Thank you for that information! I should get another copy. It’s such a great book!

@@claudiacanales2662 OMG! That is perfect. You know your nights and weekends are theirs when you hear that!

@@starrycrown You are quite welcome!.Bought it six years ago and i still read it and keep it on my desk.A phenomenal book!.

Lol or just f with strangers at some random bar Because you can always cut them clean from your life and never see them again if they f up

Nice. I like that you texted the boss and that was it. Massive power move!

Eff them all seriously

Wish l could do that lol

Unless I've been treated well, I've quit jobs without 2 weeks notice. Employees can get fired any time unexpectedly, so why can't we quit immediately?

The whole "security" escort out of the building is kinda stupid too. If someone really wanted to sabotage and retaliate, they could do so before announcing their resignation...

stupid democrats destroy the nuclear family and then expect their jobs to be their family

Omg how do you make friends at all then 😂

You should of said something sarcastic to them on your way out lmao. Btw, never heard of people being escorted out of the building for resigning?! Wtf

Big Facts

Lmaoooooo😂😂😂😂

Everything is control and fear based. No common sense, freedom, responsibility, meaning, loyalty, honor, good will....no fuckin hope. Long ago I have accepted it will all only get worse, nothing I care about matters to anyone else, anything I do will not be noticed or appreciated by anyone accept for twisted reasons of jealousy. The less these bastards know about you the better. You should probably disclose a couple things. But really just making up a bunch of shit to fuck with their heads and keep them from harming you is best. If anything be the guy who is known to put in hard work, but also the guy who fucks off. If you can balance that it's a real sweet spot. Also keep others from ever thinking they will get away with treating you with disrespect. Make them believe they will be met with violence even. Even if you never would. Let them believe you wouldn't hesitate to go to prison if someone deserved dealing with. Be right up front and loud about what's ok and what's not. Joke around with the ones who always cracking dirty jokes, play it cool and calm and idgaf in front of the females. Don't even speak to them... It drives them crazy! Especially if ur good looking.

True. But it'd be nice to have some people to care about you on the weekends. Instead it's just crushing loneliness all the time. Even when I'm at work, I feel alone.

hey babe how r u , u have gold heart,

Escorted means get the hell out of this place we don’t need you anymore unless you know the security escorting you out and they wish you the best of luck with everything and give you a handshake 🤝.

Facts. Once the class ends yall stop talking

Family is your only true friends that will look out for you. Everyone else is beyond fake and don't give af about you. Maybe they'll give you a modicum of notice if you do something for them, but beyond that, they don't care.

Time to retire anyways. Consider it a gift.

That's awful. Hope that you are ok.

That's a really sad way to approach things. I have to honestly say, in my 25+ years in corporate America that I've rarely experienced that. It's all in the way YOU build relationships and trust with your co-workers and/or company.

stupid democrats destroy the nuclear family and then expect their jobs to be their family

Well with that attitude how can you expect to be proven wrong? You won’t endear yourself to anyone by letting them know they aren’t trustworthy and your perspective is the only one that counts. Unfortunately I see more and more people with viewpoints like yours in the workplace. I’m not going out of my way to make connections with people who have already decided I’m not worth making a connection with.

@@sha2596 facts

Yeah and then that affects them because they probably think you didnt care enough to say goodbye

@@meesamagill1193 right!

stupid democrats destroy the nuclear family and then expect their jobs to be their family

Wow! That’s disgusting. That was an awful thing for them to just let those kids think you didn’t care or want to say goodbye. Kids get attached to people so easily. Have you thought about reaching out to them through email or a letter? You’re right, though. Most companies don’t give 2 shits. It’s heartbreaking.

Always a bummer, I’m sorry dude

😂😂😂

Bingo. Never leave anything personal at work.

Absolutely agree with this. Never have any personal items at your desk.

The personal items on my desk are things I can live without should anything happen. I love setting creepy sh*t on my desk. It unnerves those who may want to linger.

Thank you for sharing! I’m sure it was jarring to not have anyone reach out, it’s wild to me

@@JoshHitti It was. Best wishes to you at your new company 🎉

@Miss Sunrise I agree. I feel people use the word “friend” very loosely here in the states.

Exact same thing happened to me after 13 years at the same job, when I left everyone just ghosted me. It hurt.

Have you seen Abbot Elementary? One of the advice they gave the main lead was to have a life (friends) outside of work. That really hit me because most of my friends are my coworkers. If I leave my job, there goes my social life.

I know, I always go to happy hours and things to show I care. So I’m a bit sad to see the time I spent outside of work didn’t change anything. I’m happy to be moving to a new place

Also, i worked a different job and the people there were completely different. Its luck of the draw i guess

😂😂lmaoooooo

Working is for salary. Salary is the compensation given for shxxxt work. That’s why people given a salary

I was so embarrassed it was so unnecessary 😔😔😔over a lie

😂😂😂😂

Come on now that is not a friendship, cause friends make time off of work and not make excuses.

my bro go KZfaq - are you a good person by living waters

Hmm interesting, awkward. Being escorted out could be taken as a badge of honor. Speaking as someone who experienced considerable betrayal from siblings (Not my parents! who humbled themselves & became true friends) your old job exhibited the dark side of family. Management/HR can be amazingly low consciousness, unrecovered codependent control freaks. That said, the umbrella issue is dual relationships. Coworkers sometimes can become friends. I became a bodyworker, sometimes friends become clients, & vice versa. But then all friendships evolve, & sometimes end. It's not a defect, rather a reality. Friendships of all kinds can be fragile

What creeps!

😂😂😂😁😁

@@traveller8867lmaooooo

stupid democrats destroy the nuclear family and then expect their jobs to be their family

Yeah I would of said something to piss them off. 😂

It’s also just a different era…

@@Mav0585 I'm not really bothered. I enjoyed my time there. I didnt get into any issues with the other members of staff. Just my coworker was shafted.

Staying past your work hours was a mistake. Do your hours/work that you get paid. When you do more, they expect more.

Sending you lots of love and good energy, to get you through these tough times 🤍

@@nothanks5846 Exactly my thoughts. It burns the core of your being to discover that people wouldn't call at least once, ask how you are doing, ask what your plans are? It doesn't cost them anything, just a few minutes to show compassion and kindness,. Very sad state of humanity.

Hang in there, there will be better times ahead I'm sure!