It's a fantasy but people shouldn't be in sexual relationships without that level of assertion to say what they want.

@SMB Girly Girl I don’t think men find hook up culture to be a problem though at least the men who can continuously engage. I think man who play both sides of the field wanting a freaky housewife might have an issue though. Most women though who engage in hook up culture I see want the men to engage intimately even though those men have many options and they get upset about it.

I am so glad you found us!!!

It's still really awkward for me :-/ .... On my dads side it was really just like your upbringing, on my mom side it was kind of the opposite.

Not the same..correct

Both are fine if that’s what people wanna do with their lives and they not hurting anyone

@@CherNQ but someone always end up hurt

Exactly & that’s why it’s 2 different words

Two different words…same result

Many men.... many many many many men 😫😫😭😭.

Exactly. I don't think that some members on the show have actually experienced 'hooking up'. People don't get into conversations to have an honest discussion about sex when it's a hook up situation. Guys will tell you anything you want to hear that will result in the likelihood of you sleeping with them.

That part... That's the gotcha!

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It’s my pleasure.

Thank you for watching!!!

Thank you for this introspection. I think this happens a lot.

Great point. Thank you so much!

I think that it's just a part of an overall social developmental process. Especially, when you are from families that don't go in depth or create a safe space to speak about sexual relationships. Or relationships in general. I don't think that raising awareness indicates that you are trying to change the ways of others, it can just be a helpful catalyst for people that think they are the only ones who go through difficult relationship patterns. It can be comforting to those people to hear they are not the only ones that experience these challenges.

@@conspiracyjen85 I don’t understand much of having a safe space for this type of conversations because they’re part of popular culture today and is what we talk usually with friends. The thing with sex and relationships is that everyone can give you advice, but at the end of the day the boundaries are individual. You may be ok with things others aren’t and viceversa. If I would’ve followed my parents footsteps in order to have a meaningful relationship I would’ve failed like they did. So this is highly linked with your self esteem other than anything else.

@@rafaelorona1395 I think we are now open and okay with speaking on sexual acts. I don't think as a society we are completely open and honest about the emotional consequences of sexual premiscousity. You think that understanding healthy sexual boundaries and behaviors are rooted in self esteem. I think healthy sexual boundaries and behaviors is a part of sexual maturation and maturity can only come with experience and then being honest with yourself of the things you do and don't like, then having your needs and wants met. It's only after we are aware of what we do and don't like, then pursuing our wants and needs, that matures our self esteem and value. Part of our development is to be naive and experience unsettling mental, social, physical, spiritual, intellectual, financial, and emotional trails and errors or enjoyment which molds our personalities.

@@conspiracyjen85 I completely agree with what you just said. But that’s just part of life, we learn through experience what we enjoy and what we don’t. We also establish during that process if we want a relationship or not. Not everyone wants commitments or stability, and that’s also ok. Some people are ok with being promiscuous and meaningless sex. That’s why we have to be honest with ourselves and know what we truly want and not let ourselves to be carried by other people and made choices that we will regret only because we feel in love, are infatuated or feel attracted to someone. And yes that comes through experience, you’re only going yo learn by going through, if you’re luck you just don’t.

Thank you for sharing this. Do you ever talk to your partners about how you feel?

@@strangerfruituniverse Sadly no. There is too much embarrassment and shame, and it's pretty much led me down a path of singlehood. Sabotaging relationships with women that COULD have worked, but the trust and fear kicks in.

@@eon001 has a woman ever said she is not satisfied or you don't make her come?

Omggggg me as well!

It's almost like it's a job for me, i've always been an awkward person HOWEVER it's important to note with my first three serious boyfriends (my son's dad who I was with from 15 years old to 19, and then my first abusive ex who I was with from 19 to 21 and then my third serious boyfriend and my second and LAST EVER abusive ex who I was with from 21 to 22/23ish )... with them I loveddddd sex !! It was so awesome, it was fun, I feel like we were learning each other… and I used to get off every time because they would give me head first 😂😂😂... However, now that I'm older it's so weird because I hate starting fresh new people because of all the scary things that is going around in the world but that's why I learned to get to know the other person as BEST I CAN and idc I talk to them about STDs to see their reactions because if they don't seem to pressed or they don't care about them in general(not like hypochondriac mode, but you know like a general acknowledgment that they are around and they should be avoided ) that is a red flag . With my last boyfriend, he NEVER NOT ONCE got me OFF, it did feel good, but I never finished and he would not let me choose the position. He only had one position he would do 😐.... pretty much as soon as he asked me for "us" to be official, he wanted it at least three times a day, even on my monthly… like ewww but it didn't matter to him, he would put a towel down and proceed to damn near force me down. I could be cooking, cleaning, doing the dishes, helping with homework either my two kids or his three… it didn't matter he would pull me away or sit and beg and beg it was so annoying. I remember a time I was also sick, because I have lupus, so at times I feel like my body can't go on, well I remember multiple times like that... and he still proceeded to have sex with me multiple times a day when I relayed how bad I felt, I would just lay there in bed looking at the window. I felt so sick… But I don't know, I felt like I had to, I felt obligated to do it and do it right. Again like a mandatory job, with repercussions if I didn't. However, and I'm not bragging but with EVERYONE (& no I haven't slept with all of Adams sons 😂 I usually get sucked and stuck in relationships) anyway, with everyone I've been with it gets to the point where they want it over and over and over alllll the time and it's just a huge turn off. It could just be me, but since I'm not usually satisfied, and I don't let them know that I haven't been satisfied, when they do finish (and I'm left sitting there in my head thinking about how I HAVENT EVER got off with them - aka my last ex 🤧 OR thinking about how I haven't finished within the last couple weeks or however long with said person ) ... well you see that's when I know I'm getting tired and, and I'm about to break up or just go with that person in the long run because even though it's my fault, I start to feel like I'm being used, I know it's my fault because I haven't told that person, but a lot of times they get angry, or they don't believe me because I had to fake it in the past or whatever and it's crazy when they tell me. "Yea you did I could feel it" I sit there baffled like no the fuck I did not get off! I just know how to shake my leg right and make you think I did.😂 But, I never did this before, but one time about a month ago, I went out by myself, super stressed. I went to the bar and had a couple drinks awkwardly sitting there, lol by myself… and I met a professional violinist and went back to his condo for a "party" even though it ended up just being myself, him and his roommate, not too far from where I live here in downtown Minneapolis… it was super cool he showed me the views because even though we live close, you know, I have a townhome and he has like a condo in a complex overlooking downtown but his roommate went in his own room after about a hr of drinking wine and chatting us three.. we went in his room and he just asked if he could please be in do whatever he could to make me feel good that I hadn't really had a bus so again I was kind of awkward again I wasn't planning on doing any of this I thought I was gonna have a couple drinks … Anyway, I relaxed after about I'd say five minutes and he gave me the same best head of my life like my first three bfs, and it took a long time, but he enjoyed every minute ... and I actually got up and wore his shirt around his house, naked for a while when he played his violin for me hip-hop songs… then my 13-year-old called me and said he was hungry and so I left right away and I've never seen him since climbing not call him… He gave me his card. I still have it actually best one time hook up I've ever had, and probably will ever have (well with a guy-- I fuck girls all the time 😅)

That's great. It should be considered rape.

​@@strangerfruituniverse Same in the UK.

I only found this out today, and I'm from the UK! I literally grew up hearing guys joke about doing or having done it, some still do. Sadly, It seems like a relatively common thing for women/girls to have experienced at some point in life. I don't think most boys/ men even know they could be prosecuted for it, or that the average women/girl knows​ that she can press charges. Education is really the best prevention/solution when it comes to things like this. SA within relationships/marriages , even situationships isn't discussed enough either, especially when we're talking about young people @rejectionisprotection4448

Preach. I couldn't consult this Doctor. Hopefully her demeanour is different in private, otherwise it's fatiguing to listen to her for too long. Hook up culture is not about talking or finding out what each likes or wants; that's for longer term relationships. I've read that some people see sex as no different from a handshake. I don't think that true; a handshake often lasts longer.

I am and she wasn't.

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Same! I was not feeling her responses especially around orgasms and when folks brought up rape culture. There was very little nuance and she seemed to be talking on things she didn’t have experience with in absolutes.

Yes! and we have to have balance conversations to understand each other instead yelling out cuss words. I use a $#%& every now and again but I would not if I see a person is being venerable and especially if we are talking about personal and sensitive things. Some times the DR get in the way of listening to give a useful response. Its I am DR and I fuck in says so vibe. I respect her and think she is a voice for some in culture but balance please🙏🧘✌

I am 37. My thing is factoring schedules of busy people, and health related issues of the people you might be intimate with also plays a factor in your sexual performance. So, if you are building an intimate bond you have to take those things into consideration. For the sake of staying at a hook up culture level most of the time you hook up with somebody, it's for sex alone and look, he or she knows why I am here, slap it, flip it, rub it down QUICKLY because I got other things to do 😳☕⌚🤷🏿‍♀️

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We love you too!!!! Thank you so much for watching.

Thank you for watching, Chevonne! 🙂

A word 💯 💯

Bro thanks. I SMH when he said that. We can hold both people accountable at the same time. Just focusing on the predators doesn't do anuything because predators dont care at all.

And to hold those people accountable , they don’t deserve to get off on what they did

@@TheBestAccEverhe seems very young so I chuck it up to that. I understood what he was saying but that’s a perfect world unfortunately. Discernment is key. And I also believe we need more shaming of the “fuck folk” lmao

What was crazy about the woman changing her mind later on in the week? She wanted it THEN, not a few days down the line. It was all for that moment. A few days later that moment has long since passed. I don't understand about what you call dishonesty. The women you quote (apart from the ghosters perhaps, what lines did they "feed' you?) all seemed very direct in telling you about their situation and setting parameters. If anything they were very honest. Why did you call them dishonest?

​@@dumfriesspearhead7398 dishonesty this girl named Neesha when i was a teen. She talked to me on the phone, She was like i want a relationship, i want you to be my boyfriend. Then we had sex she was like wow your good, i would introduce you to my friends but i might get jealous if they get to liking it too much. She was dishonest becausse she made me feel like she wanted a relationship but after we had sex she was like i lied i have a boyfriend. i was like why did you lie, she said because if i told you the truth upfront you might not have slept with me. i had another girl when i was 16, asked me if i thought she was 304 because she had sex with me on the first date. im like nah all the 304s make men wait and jump through hoops, i like you we cool as hell. mind you this was a girl i knew i use to talk to her niece. She was started crying an felt bad because she was like she used me for sex. Because she had a boyfriend already. an she didnt realize i was such a nice guy , an felt bad about using me for sex. i had girls lie an say certain things to get me to have SEX with them. sometimes i can tell they lying because how they moving, but girls who sit back an talk to you on the phone for hours or hang out with you all day an chiling its hard to tell they just trying to smash once because they gotta dude. a few years ago this chick walked up to me. she was str8 forward she said she had a boyfiend, and she was 20 years old i walked away she walked up on me like do u want my number. im like you got a boyfriend and im 44 years old you dont want me for real. she was like boy you got some big ole lips do you eat out. ill fxck the ish out of you, we live close by. you my neighbor. she kept pressing i gave her my number alls she kept saying is pull up on me, can you come over, or can i come up your place, im bored i want to blah blah. like she said nothing else i tried to talk this young girl. She cut me off an said dude you trying to get this psssy or what. i aint trying to have no conversation with you. lol i declined and she cussed me out. an hung up on me. i am not with one night stands. i like sex partners. To me a one night stand is terrible. i never enjoyed a one night stand. it takes awhile to grow with them sexually.