SO many people have asked me to speak about this again but because of the past situation where I definitely let my emotions get the best of me and all the hate I got I’ve been so nervous to. But I knew I had to use my platform to try to do something because it was heartbreaking seeing everyone’s messages and bad experiences over this. I really hope this reaches the folks who need it and helps us make some meaningful change in the industry

I have a media list on my blog!

To be honest this was my initial view point. And I was much more vocal a few years ago about this. But elayne’s response was that she was abused by buck and unable to talk about it or give a public apology. Which, as a victim of abuse myself I fully understand how difficult that can be. But a- abuse doesn’t justify turning to transphobia or racism or anything else. And b- I personally think the harm still needs to be acknowledged. But I definitely let my emotions cause me to be very rude to her. It ended up with a lot of people offering my critique on how I approached it, but some people misgendering me, spewing transphobia at me, and basically threatening me. They said I was retraumatizing an abuse victim by asking for an apology the way I did, and even went so far as to bring up and Invalidate my own abuse. Because of that I’ve hesitated talking on this more, and in this video I was definitely very gentle in how I approached it. Not because I don’t agree with the harm this causes to the community but because I can’t handle any more hate and transphobia sent my way the way it was last time. 🥲

@@Lynn_Loheide First off- I'm so sorry you're in that position. On a personal level, I know how hard it is to walk the line between abuse and inaction. Simply cannot imagine it at a larger scale. Secondly, I didn't (and don't) think you were in the wrong for how things were presented/handled/explained in the video. Gentle language when it comes to transphobia does make me uncomfy, but that discomfort should be placed at the feet of those perpetuating harm, not a trans person trying to educate. I'm sorry for setting a personal tone when my issue was not at all with you. While your reply is very much appreciated, I shouldn't have put you in that position to begin with. Tone policing the people on my side isn't gonna help anyone. fwiw I genuinely enjoyed the video and shared it with some friends who also weren't aware of that whole situation. I admire the strength it takes to address such a risky topic and hope I didn't detract from that accomplishment.

Right. They clearly just have a personal issue with Elayne. It's lame and manipulative.

I agree lol

It’s a really awful situation and the hardest thing is that I really don’t think some apology and accountability is that much of an ask. :(

unrelated but i love your pfp

Maybe it’s ignorant hope but I would love to see her apologize, grow, and become a great ally for trans piercers and clients.

@@Lynn_Loheide I understand dear but even when you told you her about giving an apology or donating. She put herself as a victim. Making excuses on how she sees the trans community. She may in the future but I think it will only be words. Not sincere at all but we can wish for the good in people.💖💖💖💖💖💖💖

Punished for the pain and suffering she's caused? 😂 It was her divorce in a abusive relationship, you are delulu

It was actually written with piercers in mind and dozens of piercers have input on technique and information (who weren’t credited but…that’s another issue)

Unfortunately we will have to agree to disagree here. I am an abuse survivor myself and I just simply don’t agree with turning to denying a marginalized group rights or assistance to further my own legal causes. We have plenty of examples of people doing that with racism and the insurmountable harm those legal precedents caused. I just don’t think there’s ever any reason to go after someone else’s right to exist like that. Beyond that, I think context is important. If that was the only issue here, I think it would be a very different situation. But it’s not. It’s the fact that elayne said that /and/ continues to use and teach transphobic, TERF content and talking points. She uses her position and power in the industry to be able to teach classes with transphobic language and concepts to generations of young piercers, and ignore continued feedback that this language is wrong and harmful. She also continues to expressly advertise to trans clients and thus directly profit off of trans bodies. The context of these things I think directly informs this as being more relevant.

@@Lynn_Loheide Thanks for the reply and elaborating.... the more I think on this the more glad I am that you are in this position and making these choices and setting this example. I think perhaps I fell into some mental traps regarding an industry that I am NOT a professional in, that I experience as a customer as a service industry and it should never, ever be acceptable to limit accessibility to marginalise folks/perpetuate discrimination. I'm sorry if my comment seemed to come sideways at this, and I appreciate the way you are standing your ground.

I think it crosses over when she chooses to use transphobic language and TERF talking points when she educated in classes. I also think it crosses over when she choose to legally attempt to deny trans peoples marriage rights and then still advertise to and profit from trans clients. And again- I don’t think she needs ti be canceled. I just think she should say sorry.

Right? She’s spewing all this while sitting here with Jefree star & Lime Crime cosmetics all over her desk…

@@PierceTheKayla01 lol right

THIS. Someone's personal divorce has literally nothing to do with us. They're clearly taking this personal because they're trans and obviously had bad interactions with Elayne herself, this video reads as manipulation to me and it's really disappointing

Attempting to legally deny trans people their rights in court is transphobic.

@@Lynn_Loheide That is not transphobic, her actions would be considered illegal.

@@ItsAtone Transphobia and transmisia are when people have deeply rooted negative beliefs about what it means to be transgender, nonbinary, and gender nonconforming. Their beliefs affect the way they, the government, organizations, the media, and society generally treat people whose identities don’t fit into typical gender roles. Transphobia results in policies that take away the rights and safety of trans and nonbinary children, teens, and adults. This results in discrimination, harassment, and sometimes violence against people who are not cisgender. Deciding to use arguments that trans people don’t deserve the right to marry to win your divorce, and continuing to use inaccurate and harmful language about trans bodies when educating, are both elements that contribute to transphobia and transgender discrimination. Is Transmisia technically a more accurate term? Yes. However, insisting so they way you are is a bit pedantic. the suffix -misia is often co-opted by fascist groups. So many people stay away from using this term due to that association. It also suffers from a lack of immediate recognition as transphobia is easily deciphered by people who have heard about homophobia. Many trans people, myself included, use transphobia to discuss not just the fear people have around trans folks but the discrimination and harm caused towards transpeople out of fear, dislike, or prejudice.

I think we’ll have to agree to disagree on this one. She does have a long experience in the body modification community- and she built a lot of that by piercing queer and trans clients. To then turn around and try to deny trans folks legal rights to marry and exist as their chosen gender is unacceptable. And because of her platform, it has a much larger reach. Beyond that, she continues to teach using out dated and transphobia language. Despite multiple trans folks telling her her language is incorrect and harmful. When you have a platform you also have power, and that comes with responsibility, and accountability. Her history doesn’t give her a pass to continue to use harmful language nor does it allow her an exception from accountability. Fortunately the one thing I do know is that I don’t know everything. I actually learn lots of great stuff from others very often and I change and improve my viewpoints regularly. Learning and growth is important- and I actually quite enjoy engaging with different viewpoints and growing from that. As you yourself mention- you have these feelings toward my online presence. Not who I actually am as a person. I also removed a fairly transphobic comment of yours you made to another commenter here trying to invalidate trans non-binary folks. So feel free to hold any opinion of me you’d like, online or offline, but know that transphobia doesn’t fly in my comment section.

Respecting Trans identities is not a political issue. It's a human respect issue.

A few key points- I don’t justify any of the awful things these companies have done along with what elayne has done. Limecrime absolutely did some awful things. I think it is worth noting that while their apologizes were lackluster- they still apologized. Not only has elayne not apologized for her attempt to legally dent trans peoples rights, she has doubled down in refusing to use inclusive language in her classes and instead intentionally misgendering folks. I’m typing this response from my iPhone- apple being another notoriously terrible company. I will be the first to admit that we all will need to find where we personally feel comfortable drawing the line at who and what we support. For me, as a trans person, in such a small industry, and an industry that is founded on queer and trans folks….this is a big deal. We are currently seeing sweeping anti trans legislation across America and trans people are being attacked at every turn. To see this happening and to uphold actions set to further deny trans people their rights….that’s where I personally draw my line. (Also re- it being a great tool- a lot of the information in the book was taken from other piercers and not properly credited! You can find that information for free in forums from the original writers, and also read more from the piercers that information was taken from about that issue)