So wild that I have followed you before you even met Jared, and now you're talking to that version of you. So happy for all the things that have happened for you Shan

I will turn 43 on September 15th. When I turned 36 I thought I met the man of my dreams. At 39, I left my life, home, and career to move to Finland to be with him. He sold me a dream, "the dream". After I delivered myself like a pizza to him, he transformed into the boogeyman. I've spent the last year nursing my wounds, healing, recovering, and working on the issues that brought me to make a decision to choose a love outside of myself. I never thought that I would be over 40 and completely starting over from scratch with everything. Message to my younger self: Love and nurture your mind, body, and spirit. They are of the upmost importance. By loving you, you will be able to love and help others. EVERYTHING starts and ends from within. All that you experience will be for the betterment of the extraordinary and resilient woman you will become. None of the lessons are meant to break you, but to make you evolve. ...and evolve you will, into greatness!! ❤️✨️

“Find the relationship that inspires that version of you.” PREACH!

Dear future self, I am 26 right now and single. I don’t have kids yet and I want them one day. I hope one day you realize you are more than a relationship, it’s okay to not have everything figured out. Please be kind to yourself.

To my future self, You're 31 and single with no kids, that's okay. When your person does arrive you will be whole and be able to share that fullness with someone else who is whole. You may not ever have children, but you will love hard and mentor and grow. It'll happen when it's supposed to and when it does you'll be happy you waited.

I’m so glad BW are talking about being okay with being child free and being single.

I'm single and childless, so if I could say anything to my future self, I'd say thanks for sticking to your guns about choosing to remain childless and for having the self awareness to recognize that you don't have the genetics, money, time, patience, energy, instincts, temperament, and emotional maturity to be a husband and father.

I have been married for a long time, 29 years. If I can tell my younger self is to wait. 20 years old is too young and I wasn’t emotionally equipped to be someone’s wife. Good thing is he’s your friend. Also, thank God he was persistent to wait for kids. Now we have a 23, 20, and 17 year old boys (should’ve waited longer like he wanted) and a 3 months grand son. We are almost empty nesters. I absolutely love my life, but get your degrees and career started before babies and mortgage and enjoy your 20s. I did it but it was harder. Love you younger me!!! Congratulations Shan on your family.

I've been married 14 years and a mother since I was 19 and I wouldn't change anything I would have just added therapy for some childhood trauma but it's been a great recovery ❤️

I'm 33, married for nearly 7 years (together for 13), and have a 4 y.o, 2 y.o. and another on the way. My husband and I have been talking about this topic a lot lately. I would advise my younger self to study abroad in college. Maybe spend a few months with my family in another country. Take a break from trying to find happiness in being coupled. Keep in touch with friends.

Dear younger self love you first before you allow others too. Take time to explore life . I had 4 kids and widowed by the time I was 35 . My fairytale was shattered and I had to learn to live.

Yes! I told my daughters to NOT make the same mistakes I made putting others before putting myself first

Am 28yrs old right now, got married when I was 21 because I had always wanted a family of my own and I also wanted someone to love me for me and understand me. We have two kids a 5 year old son and a 4 months old daughter A message I will give to my younger self is Do not rush into doing things early, enjoy your younger self because you only have one life to live. Treat yourself well, love on yourself everyday and don't forget that you are beautiful in and out. Present self, family takes too much time it is worth it but don't forget to take care of yourself and go out more talk to people and stop shutting yourself out from the world.

I have been in a commited relationship for over 4 yrs and finally discovered what I wanna do w my life, that it took me that long to realize that my relationship isnt everything and that marriage and having babies isnt everything either. I am my own person and I want to still fully discover things as I am traveling w him and just living life! I am 29 and I absolutely feel this way even now

I have a special needs son. Everyday is a hard day. I am glad my younger self didn't know, or else what if I wouldn't have had kids at all. I wanted a girl because I have 4 brothers. I have the happiest, most smiley, determined, funny little boy. I don't know what our future holds. I hope we are both healthy and keep smiling.

I appreciate this video...im 32, no kids, recently divorced, and changing careers. I've been feeling worthless and lost and invaluable...I needed to hear this

Dear Younger Self, Wait, he's not the love of your life. Go to college, realize your dream and believe in yourself. You got this.

I had to press pause at 1:35 to let the tears fall. I’m 35 and just steps onto the “other side” of some of the worst years and unimagined things that I’ve ever experienced. I’m really just happy to be here and smiling. Gracious.

When that lady said “listen more and talk less” that is me but it is so hard when you’re in the moment 😩 I love your videos btw! ❤️

The advice I would give to myself is to focus on self love. It really makes everything fall in place. Travel more, go see the world and understand that love is all around you. It doesn't have to come from a romantic relationship. Be you, be real and your ppl will find you.😘

I love this! I'm 32 and getting married this year. And I want to have as many children as we can handle and create. Pray me for, I will pray for you ❤ I'm really excited for our future in marriage and am grateful I've been able to work my bum off to achieve what I want in my career and lifestyle to go into a new stage with no hesitance or regrets. Forward and up for all of us!

Kids are great. Annoying and hard but you said it right. I couldn't imagine my life without my beautiful son. He's my whole world.

So happy you’re sharing this journey with us. Glad KZfaq was invented

I’m only 21 and have never had a boyfriend ( I share my story on my channel) ❤️ and this video was so inspiring on so many diff levels!! Everyone’s journey is so diff .. and even when things might not look like the stuff that is written on our list.. I believe all things .. (in the end ) will work themselves out for the best.. but like you suggested.. as long as WE Ourselves are doing the inner work. Aloha 🤙🏾 from Hawai’i 🧘🏽‍♀️🌸💕🌿

Is there anyone who would say don’t have kids? As a teacher it’s odd but I’m starting to think I don’t want my own kids. It seems unnatural but I really want to have money, space, and learn, and do things for myself.

I keep it short and simple: be honest about what you want and can do with what you've got. I was never a follower of trends and trusted my gut feeling in life. I am in my mid 30s and enjoying life, working on expanding my business and looking for my happy place. Always have been an independent spirit and I've no regrets.

Every time i come back to watch one of Shan’s videos it’s still under a million.. this content is FIRE for this generation of information so sad it’s not getting the support it deserves.. This woman is very INTENTIONAL about her purpose.. we glamorize drama over healing.. She is literally trying to save ppl from repeating generational trauma.. it’s no right or wrong or right time but this transparency is necessary for evolution.. life is what YOU make it.. when life gives you lemons make orange juice!!

Dear future self, I am writing to you at 22 I’ve decided that getting a divorce after 4 months of being together will be beneficial to further developing our relationship without the pressures of family and minimum wage jobs…. I hope it has worked out and you have gotten remarried on your own time with him… and if that hasn’t worked out that’s okay, I hope you have continued to prioritize yourself and your journey with Jesus and have developed that trust you always wanted and needed to have with someone…. I hope you haven’t given up on teaching history and have gotten stronger physically, mentally and emotionally… I hope you finally are surrounded with a good family of friends that cherish you and ground you and help you grow. I really hope you are happy and despite what the world looks like however far down the line you are I hope you are hopeful and faithful to the end.

This video made me so deeply emotional. To think about who I was before I was a mom. To think how hard the beginning of motherhood was. Wow. I’ve come so fucking far. Damn I’m proud of myself

Love your videos so much ! I'm 26 and husband is 32. We just had our first baby boy 6 months ago and I definitely wasn't mentally and physically ready to have a child . I wish I wanted a little longer. No one talks about the weight gain and how mom's sacrifice so much from career to her body. But I love my little family so much but again to my younger self save a lot more money and travel first !

i’ve been sitting on my kitchen thinking about this amazing new job offer that i’ve got and thinking about me and my husband trying for a baby right now…and getting too overwhelmed with a fact that i have to have a kid because i am 31 and the only thing i’m doing is working and working but that’s what i actually love doing (i’m a physician) and then i decided to just go on youtube and let myself relax a bit. and the first thing i see is this video😅

Divorced at 28. It was the best decision for me. I’m 34 now, single, no kids, but I’m falling inlove with myself and I know I’m not everybody’s cup of tea and not everybody is my cup of tea, so I know that the Universe delivers the right people in my life. I had to become the person I would like to have as a partner and it’s a journey that I love! So grateful for the healing and the support. To my older self: you always get back on your feet, you are courageous and take the jump into the unknown! Do not wait for people to see you, to choose you. Do your thing, choose yourself and remember. Btw awareness is your best friend and youself.

Dear future Amanda: I hope you are as happy in your professional and personal life. I hope you do not let bad pressure get to you when making big decisions. I hope you learned how to spend money wisely. Not only that, but I hope you stay humble and never forget your roots. Lastly, wherever you are in the world, I send you a hug.

Dear Glo, As a 50-year-old trapped in a 32-year-old body, you’ve been to 90 countries, 6 continents, and are learning your 4th language. You’re single and choosing the #ChildfreeByChoice life because your next adventure is a partner, not a place. We often praise Eastern cultures for how children are raised by villages. So let women who actually want kids, be the only ones who are mothers. And YOU, Glo. You be the village. Stay strong and know that there’s a community of people who need you to share your story to help them find the words to write theirs xoxo.

I love how honest you are with us Shan

I feel that I have grown up with you, Shannon. Sometimes I turn to your channel when I need inspiration to be courageous, loving or just honest and other times I turn to it for guidance. I am eternally grateful for the work that you do and your legacy is and will be marked with gold forever. Much love to you and your beautiful family.

I just turned 33 and have been married 12 years already 👀 I'm officially about to start ttc and for the last 10 years people have asked me when I'll pop out kids🥴 I feel more pressured now because I'm actually ready now but now the conversation is "your kind of too old now and hopefully your kids will be healthy".... I almost feel like they don't want me to have children now because they are all worried 😑🤔

I think about my mother and what a great life she’s had. She got married older (for that time) 29/30. First kid at 35! Oh the things she’s done in her youth, great career, travelled a lot, served Alof, the friends and relationships she has now… literally goals! She always encourages to us take things slow.. you don’t hVe to marry your first boyfriend.. take time before having babies..don’t get married before 25! Take time! I plan to follow in her footsteps

Dear future self, I’m now 30 years old. Will be 31 on September 23rd and I’m not sure where we are or where we stand. I’m unsure about life at this moment. 2022 has been very tough on us. I don’t know how to make it easier for us but I am trying to make it somewhat understandable. I’ve taken us to therapy to heal childhood traumas. We’ve build friendships that go in line with our values and beliefs. And I’m so proud of us. Because I know making friends or talking to people in general is tough. I’m unsure of what the future holds for us. But I tell you what, I appreciate you. And I love you Teresa. Be Gentle to yourself, okay.

This was so healing for my soul.

The intro I love your raw honesty

Talk to me Shan !! Your transparency, honesty and reliability is always refreshing and needed. Thank you

I love your sincerity and your wisdom so much, no matter the subject. I often feel like I’m caught in a vortex of noise and nonsense while I’m so sorry this happened to you, your statement at the end was beautiful. Pain can bring out our best qualities over time if we allow it to, but we need to have the awareness and the capability to heal the wounds and recognise the work that remains to be done before we get there things on the internet but this channel feels like a sanctuary & a place of healing. The wholesome comments, the positivity, the shared experiences, it’s all just too real & really mentally grounding

To my current self, take it slow I know you want that job, the kids and a partner that pushes you to be a better version of yourself. It's ok to be 31 unmarried without kids, your time will come. For now continue discovering yourself, know your capabilities and stop procrastinating. You're going to be OK.

Shan, I love you so much! You are always dropping so many gems that leaves your viewers reflecting on ways we can improve and enhance our lives. Thank you for being so raw, vulnerable and real! You make our lives better with all of your incredible content! Thank you 💛

💛 love the different perspectives which show there is no wrong way to go it's all eventually up to you and either way you are going to be alright and if you are not alright ITS NOT the end.

Is anyone like me??? In their 30s and Don't know wtf they want

You are glowing Shan!

Dear future self, I hope it all works out. I hope you achieved your dreams. I see the work you’re putting in and the many notes you’ve written to yourself ( & the universe) about what you want and how you plan on getting it. I believe in you so much, I know you can do it. I love you so much. You matter the most to me and I truly mean that.

Shan you're so special! A huge role model to me, thank you.

I love this style of video! So great to hear different perspectives on this since I’m preparing for marriage now.

Damn it! There I was, casually coming to listen to you talk about the letter you’d write to yourself and I end up in happy tears, reassuring my inner teen that I didn’t end up a failure and healing a funk I’ve been in for weeks. Thank you.

It’s so magical how KZfaq recommends exactly what you need. SEO is reeeal. It’s like it worked over night to deliver me the perfect video this morning.

Shan I think it’s so beautiful to see you light up talking about how rewarding it is with those beautiful babies! Even tho kids be craaazyy lol ! The switch up from the end of your pregnancy to now is really amazing to watch. I’m glad your feeling back to yourself!

Dear Shan. Thank you for being you. I appreciate the videos that you create. ❤️

This is exactly what I want to know but no one really goes into detail. Thank You!

That 4th vid @ 1:12 was so on point. “You will smile again.” Always. Whether you lost the life u thought u wanted or have yet to achieve the life you dreamed of…YOU WILL SMILE AGAIN. It gets better. I think I’d say, always remain your best friend, even through the versions of yourself that aren’t your favorite or are unfamiliar. Those versions are there to stretch and sharpen you. Great video. 🤍

I’m 23 going on 24 with one 10 month old. I really resonated with what your mom said- It really does take maturity when having kids because even tho I knew I wanted a baby with my partner, I was not emotionally/mentally prepared for what having a baby came with as well as all the sacrifice. Although at times I feel like my life is over because of all the sacrifices and me still being young, I don’t regret having my baby. If I could give my younger self advice it would be to do what makes me happy (don’t care what others think), live life, & be patient! If I could give myself advice now it would be to again, be patient, live in the moment, & don’t compare your life to others! I would love to see more videos on topics such as this one. Thank you for sharing Shannon!!

Whew chil-LE! This hit tf outta me. Guess it was time for a good cry. Thanks for the content ❤️

I love that you also share the experiences of other women.. great video.

Advice to my younger self. Do not take out private student loans! Be confident to say how you feel and what you want to do for your life as oppose to being miserable living out a life someone ELSE is intending for you on THEIR terms and time! I was married 10 years, my biggest regret was not dating long enough prior to. I will not do that again. In the marriage, We should have waited to have kids, like really enjoyed ourselves as a married couple. Hindsight had we not had kids we probably would still be married today! But I can’t say I shouldn’t have had kids! I love them too much! I am divorced today and it was the best decision. However! I do get angry we couldn’t work out because I wish my children had a home with their mother and father with our dog. I fear I’ll never be loved again and be a man’s prize. I fear I won’t find a quality man who will accept my 3 small children. I will be 36 Monday so I am also not a young woman that I feel works against me too. I feel like In about 10 years with older children it may happen with a man who’s also divorced with older children and I hate the thought of it. Ok I’m venting . Well wishes everyone

Thanks for this, I needed to hear it. I want kids but afraid of all the loss I feel will come with it.

23 years and still waiting for that first kiss lol. I am super picky, and scared that I will never find love or fulfillment in life. I hope my future self finds happiness and overall PEACE at any moment, and take everything as it comes and goes

As a 31 year old I appreciate you being honest af!! Trying to obtain the societiel standard of marrying before 30 really just had me signing up for a narcissistic relationship, trauma bonds and unnecessary relationships. Alllllllll I wanted to do was get married since I was a young girl. I just KNEW I was going to marry young like my mother (she married my dad at 19 & had two kids by 21)…. Omg lol i laugh about that now because honey I’m glad I do t have chirennn lol. So many ppl try to pressure us women into being wives n mothers. I’m still trying to give MYSELF everything I want first.it’s not selfish it’s commendable. It takes a lot of courage.

I need to watch this every morning 😅 thank you! 💕

Shan you look amazing! Wow two kids and married looks amazing on you!also love the content

This was lovely! Thank you! It’s helping me x! To my younger self, follow your heart!

Goodness I love your messages so much. I don't always listen to every one but when I do it dose resignat 💕 Thank you shan.

I appreciate this video and just overall how transparent you allow yourself to be. Keep going, Shan ✨ I comment this to you literally all the time. You are excellent. You shine so bright. Not even kids and a husband can dim that.

I’m the over thinker. And I over think and want to run. Run from everything and everybody who can cause hurt.

I this video! Women keeping it real. I'm so glad I didn't have more children. I don't know if multiple kids is for me. I like my space and time, I like being free. My daughter is older and she's my beastie, we have a good life.

Aww Shan you look so happy ❤

Idk what I really want. I just want to fulfill my purpose and feel not just comfortable but also accomplished. It's so rare that I feel either of those things

Absolutely loved and needed this video. Thank you!

A good love makes you love yourself more. Wowza.

Shan, this video hit home. Thank you🌹

I really needed to hear this 💜💜💜

To future me... I hope you got that $$$ and have developed the relationships to make it worth it. I hope you have healed and gained the strength and elegance of the lady you deserve to be. I hope you make the little girl reading books in her room all day proud of the things you do everyday and the experiences you get to have. I hope you accomplish your goals on all levels but also open up your heart to others who deserve to share life with you. I wish you fulfillment, happiness, passion and peace.

I just turned 46...Married since 1997... we hit 25 years in December..with a 22 year old daughter... I would say to my younger self... Begin Therapy and the the healing process ASAP... realize the generational curse that has been passed down from women to women in your family. Love The You that no one sees and be kind to yourself . 💕

Thank you, this was so valuable for me! 🥺💕

This is perfect!! Very Much Needed Thanks🤗

This is so beautiful 💗

yoooo this video is so dope!!!!

Get that matenity benefit for yourself. That was a huge comfort when I had my first baby.

No marriage, no kids (never want kids, never wanted marriage). The advice I would give myself is: No matter how many books you read on love, how much enchantments, magic, witchcraft, self help, courses, trainings, inner work you do, the love of your life will come when it's destined to come, when your higher self contracted it to come for you. That's it. So enjoy your long, long, seemingly everlasting singlehood, cause no matter what you do it I'll come when it comes.

I've been with Shan since that video she did with Jae and Trey Richard's lol the good Ole days

Phew, that list advice. Thank you

Enjoy the journey, be pressing the now. This too shall pass!

I am 22, single and childless. I hope the future me choses the right partner and marriage adds positivity and growth to my life. I hope that I can happiness and wisdom with the children I have and be proud of the partner I chose to have them with.

I love you Shan so much

Love this video so much, thank you

I love this 😊 thank you all for sharing

My mom had me when she was in her 20s but she had help from my grandparents to raise me

I got married at 24, but only started living with my husband at 26 due to visa issues and had my first child at 29. I would tell myself to actually get married at 22 and have a child at 27. We unnecessarily delayed our marriage and living together for the sake of our parents' approval and what we thought would be the ideal place to begin our married life. But thinking back I was certainly mature enough to get married at 22 and could have easily begun my career in my husband's country (which turns out we ended up moving back to recently). I feel so much regret missing out on those prime years we could have happily lived together as a married couple. If I had my first at 27 instead of 29 I wouldn't feel so rushed to have my second because ideally I would want 3 kids.

I’m 47, never married and have 1 child who will be 20. I would tell my HS self to pay attention in Math. I would tell my 20 self to master my major and don’t listen to people who say you should know a little of everything. I would tell my 30 self to double down even more on investing.

Thank you for this!

Love thissss ❤️❤️❤️

I appreciate this fr !!!! Thank you so much 💕💕💕💕

Love love love this video xoxox

My rush was my mom almost died twice and I always wanted her to meet her grandchildren.