Pros & Cons to Having Kids Old Featuring
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2 жыл бұрынThank you to BetterHelp for sponsoring this video! To get 10% off your first month of therapy, go to betterhelp.com/boody to sign up today!
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Maya and I have another video on her channel about the fourth trimester!!
bit.ly/mayashanmomchat
Maya's KZfaq: / shamelessmaya
Max and Mayas Joint KZfaq: / @maxmayaliving
@shanboody 2 жыл бұрын
Maya and I have a video on her channel all about the fourth trimester please go watch!!! bit.ly/mayashanmomchat
@Snobtsula 2 жыл бұрын
Will do👊🏾 💝WHEN RAYU SAYS "Hiiii!" 🥰😍🥰 My heart goes 'Kabooom!' 😄
@leealexander2599 2 жыл бұрын
Shan do you want any more children?
@darkangel1980 2 жыл бұрын
I had my first at 40! Pregnant at 39 married yet unplanned (gotcha!) and during covid. You all are killing it and inspiring in the process.
@gabrielleashley8939 2 жыл бұрын
Wow thanks for this entire video but even more sharing your experience of what you went through after taking out your iud... Im going through that stage now and felt soo alone about it...
@veliciawilliams5865 2 жыл бұрын
It’s interesting that mid to late 30s is considered old . That is so bizarre to me.
@MAZELEE 2 жыл бұрын
I had a baby at 19, 21, 24, 27, 30, 32 and 34. For me, pregnancy was sooooooo much easier at 19 than 34. But my births were easier and smoother the older and more wise I was about my body, birth, health, healing and making good choices for midwives. My mom didn't have me till I was 36, so to imagine I was her second child at 36 and I had 7 children by 36 is also crazy to think about!
@nemi-mout1874 2 жыл бұрын
Interesting... I believe in enjoying youth so I didn't even start settling down until I was almost 27 (plus there are birth risks in your teens and very early 20s though I understand why the actual pregnancy might appear or be easier) but you have a lovely family and obviously all are a blessing ❤️🌹❣️ *(Merry Christmas &)Season greetings🥰
@sharstarg2414 2 жыл бұрын
Wow! That’s awesome! It’s hilarious how we use to see having children at 17+ as a scandal & yet it turns out to work out better for the woman that do it (as long as it’s consensual!)
@shemeciahaskell322 2 жыл бұрын
Your mom did have you until your were 36 🤔 🤣
@robynology101 2 жыл бұрын
Do you think your mom's age when you were born was an incentive for you to start your family earlier?
@Jonesybabie 2 жыл бұрын
@mazelee I've followed your family's YT channel since Baby #5... I love your growth as a mom and a woman over the years 🥰
@shamelessmaya 2 жыл бұрын
It’s funny to watch this video since Shan and I were on an audio call not on video. Ryu had an outfit change on my channel 😍 Shan, you da best and here’s to ladies in their 30’s becoming first time moms doing the most!
@CharlotteLaubeauty 2 жыл бұрын
It’s amazing seeing two people I’ve followed for years collab together 😍
@astralplanejane 2 жыл бұрын
Shameless I’m proud of you and 30’s is not “OLD” I wish people stop projecting that bull crap... biblical days women had children well after 30... if you take date of yourself well enough you can have babies in your 50’s like the beautiful Janet Jackson!!
@darkangel1980 2 жыл бұрын
Agreed! On another note I can imagine having babies before now (41 with a now 9 month old). Lovely following your journey for years now @shamelessmya Nothing before it's time. Truthfully I had a lot to wrap my mind around with this one. I was planning to be like Janet myself😉.
@LifeinGlow 2 жыл бұрын
I was wondering how you recorded with being in different countries and having such a good quality of footage & audio.
@Nekole1 2 жыл бұрын
She is fake.
@GoddessVibezz 2 жыл бұрын
31 just had my first and I’m thankful bc the six figures, remote work, stable marriage and more patience definitely helps 🙌🏿😍
@mizzjamie82 2 жыл бұрын
Thank you for this! I’m 39 and pregnant. I’ll be turning 40 just a few months after giving birth. This is my second pregnancy, but hopefully my first living child. Thank you again
@witchywhit 2 жыл бұрын
❤️
@tricksie88 2 жыл бұрын
Sending prayers that you have a safe delivery and happy and healthy baby and mama at the end 🙏🏾❤️
@WEG906 2 жыл бұрын
I’m 38 and pregnant . This is also my second pregnancy and hopefully also my first living child .
@sharstarg2414 2 жыл бұрын
🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
@blackmownkey 2 жыл бұрын
Bless you and your beautiful rainbow baby👶🏾
@SimplyBeingTT 2 жыл бұрын
I appreciate Maya for being transparent with her truth about being a new mama. Everyone makes it seem like it's the best thing ever, and she's like, "Nuh unh...it took a minute." Love her for it. Thank you Shan. I'm 40, I'm hoping...
@shanboody 2 жыл бұрын
You HAVE to watch Maya’s content on Shameless Maya channel and Max and Maya channel they share SO much truth like this. As always, Maya’s content is remarkable don’t miss out kzfaq.info
@SimplyBeingTT 2 жыл бұрын
@@shanboody Thank you. I've been following her since before she cut her hair. It's something to see someone's life transition into parenthood.
@soilgrasswaterair 2 жыл бұрын
If people didn't equate it with love for the baby, then I think many more would feel ok to share the same she did. Not sure why saying parenting is tough no matter stage, is something negative, I would worry if someone showed signs of being careless with their child and acted as if they were doing fantastic. But I can't see how it would be bad for someone who is trying to meet their kid's needs, for them to say it is difficult and it took time for them to adjust and they still struggle even if they landed a bit more into their new life of being a parent. I also find it brings people closer when they can share in a safe space without judgement :) /Scandinavian
@pixigirl999 2 жыл бұрын
Just wanted to give you some more hope. Older mom here as well. Got pregnant at 38 had twins at 39🤦🏾♀️. They just hit 16 weeks so it’s been a crazy ride. Full disclosure my partner is also younger (32) good luck on your journey it is possible.
@SimplyBeingTT 2 жыл бұрын
@@pixigirl999 Thank you 🤗. Congratulations on your beautiful babies.
@kimberley3577 2 жыл бұрын
"You don't have fillers in your face...that's really brave of you" What the heck?? That is RUDE
@jeneanmcnear3367 2 жыл бұрын
I wish somebody would come to my house and say that to me. My come back would be "you don't have common sense in your brain...such a shame for you, goodbye". What the hell.
@WoahhTeamJacob 2 жыл бұрын
Would’ve shown them to the door immediately & let the door hit their ass on the way out!
@SharieMonique781 2 жыл бұрын
Sooo rude. Because the both of them still look 25
@taxr2111 2 жыл бұрын
Rude as hell…
@KianaTee1 2 жыл бұрын
“You have a lot of audacity to say that…with a face like that!”🤣
@IsabelleMN11 2 жыл бұрын
Something I feel is sorely missing from the fertility conversation, is the fact that sperm quality also decreases with age, so both parties affect fertility rate. It does such a disservice when the fertility talk is always placed on the person with a womb, burdening them with a guilt or responsibility that should be shared. I'm so grateful that was mentioned in the video
@JoannaKimber 2 жыл бұрын
OMG this really grinds my gears that the biological clock discussion is solely focused on women.
@honeybdream 2 жыл бұрын
Exactly!
@justsaying8358 2 жыл бұрын
Yes sperm quality also goes down with age but not at the same rate as womem, and it's much simples issue to resolve. So I get why moat of the talk is placed on women.
@JoannaKimber 2 жыл бұрын
@@justsaying8358 it’s not just fertility but the quality of the sperm as well that decreases significantly leading to more miscarriages and abnormal babies
@strivin4excellence09 2 жыл бұрын
You are so right ! It’s something I personally never considered since we hear how men can have a child at any age! Thank you for pointing this out.
@jazzycakeup5725 2 жыл бұрын
My mom had my baby sister when she was 41, and her sister had her first child at 40. My mother was 23 when she had me and i will say the stability and security my little sister has compared to me (even though my mother was amazing and i never realized the struggles she was going through until i reached adult hood) makes waiting until later completely worth it imo.
@jennifertaylor-wright7694 2 жыл бұрын
I completely agree with this. The feeling of stability is something I always said was the only thing worth having my littles later. From my first at 22 to my 3rd at 31. My oldest I’m close to because he was there and recognized my hustle, but being able to devote the time to my third has been life changing l.
@theechubbyone 2 жыл бұрын
Same, same. Well I'm the baby and my mom had my brother at 21 in the Caribbean and my older sister and I at 38 & 40 respectively. I plan on waiting as long as my body will allow and I have no qualms about adopting/fostering whether I can carry babies or not.
@Jewpacshekur 2 жыл бұрын
I totally relate to this a lot, I’m 18 and I have a baby sister whose 1yr and my mom now is 40 and my baby sister definitely has a great quality of life. I’m super grateful for all that she gave me but I definitely agree having kids later is better
@arandaholley1719 2 жыл бұрын
Facts.
@tsjoyjo14 2 жыл бұрын
I had a baby at 41 and the following month turned 42. I am 49 yrs old now and my husband is 52 yrs and we have a healthy son who is 7yrs now! I had healthy pregnancy had no issues and gained only 8lbs. He weighed 7.02ilbs and he is truly a blessing. He keeps us busy. It was all GOD plans because I didn't plan this.
@starrkiya2484 2 жыл бұрын
I had my baby at 37, he is one now. I had a great pregnancy. I'm glad I waited.
@ImNotImpressed01 2 жыл бұрын
I don't plan on having any kids in my 20s. I really don't think any woman should have kids before she enters her late 20s. The wait is everything. Good on you
@iammisscrystal 2 жыл бұрын
I agree! Having a child in your 30s is great. People make it seem like its such a bad thing to wait when it really isn't. I had my son at 31 and I'm grateful I did because while it is a very rewarding job to raise a child it is also a really BIG responsibility that requires a great level a maturity, time and patience.
@daniella8400 2 жыл бұрын
@@ImNotImpressed01 totally agree
@wifeandmomma7452 2 жыл бұрын
Same here. 36 and 39. No issues
@Madting93 2 жыл бұрын
My mother had me in the 90s at the age of 40. Natural birth. No complications
@77RenaeSweets 2 жыл бұрын
Having my 1st child at 41. Been trying for years as soon as we stopped trying it happened. 8 weeks to go 💙. Must also add I broke several generational curses. My mom grandma's aunts etc were all teenage mothers.
@sassyc3701 2 жыл бұрын
Wishing you a safe delivery. Had my first child at 45. She is 9 weeks old today. We feel blessed.
@77RenaeSweets 2 жыл бұрын
@@sassyc3701 aww congrats and thank you 😊 💖
@michellezevenaar 2 жыл бұрын
I got pregnant with my first at 35 after I accepted that I wouldn't have children. I lucky had my second at 39! Fertility is so unpredictable!
@CookieMunstaaa 2 жыл бұрын
Im due around the same time as you! ❤️ Congratulations 😁 I too broke some of my families norms when starting my family. It's a great feeling! X
@othersbyuri 2 жыл бұрын
Older mom love love this thread 🫂💓🥰
@Ashley-ur9in 2 жыл бұрын
Ryu really has Jared's WHOLE face. Lol. She’s so adorable!
@AlbGurl 2 жыл бұрын
As a first time mom at 36, I wanted children in my 20s but it didn’t happen. God’s timing is perfect and I have a beautiful baby.
@carebearboo4247 2 жыл бұрын
I’m 26 been married almost 4 years and cannot imagine having a baby. Everyone thinks it’s weird for not wanting a baby at my age as if I’m old. 🤣. Honestly I have such a hard time grasping the concept of being a parent one day because I don’t want that kind of insane responsibility. I don’t care if other people have kids but it is annoying when people act like I’M the crazy one when I say I don’t. It’s definitely not for everyone and people need to realize that! But I would never hate on anyone for choosing to have kids or not. That’s their own personal decision!
@ceasarsalad2388 2 жыл бұрын
I was 26 when I got pregnant with my first child (I’m 35 now and have 2 children) I love my children but I do sometimes think that I’m not good mothering material. It is so hard, it changes your mind, body and soul. I fully respect women that choose not to have children. Respect and love to you.
@carebearboo4247 2 жыл бұрын
@@ceasarsalad2388 I’m sure you are a good mother if you are worried about being a good mom. Ones that aren’t good moms probably wouldn’t even question their parenting ability. Lol. Thanks for the advice, I have thought it through very thoroughly because I know it’s a huge change of life -literally forever. Best wishes to your journey ❤️
@ceasarsalad2388 2 жыл бұрын
@@carebearboo4247 I tell myself that sometimes, thank you. All the best to you and your journey through life 💜
@ajohonly3721 2 жыл бұрын
@@ceasarsalad2388 Only good moms would wonder if they’re good enough moms so you’re doing well mama. 💕🙏
@ceasarsalad2388 2 жыл бұрын
@@ajohonly3721 I truly hope so! Thank you kindly 💕💕
@mayasherman9978 2 жыл бұрын
My mom had me at 35. In middle/high school I always said I wanted to have kids in my 20s so I wouldn’t be an older mom. Now at 23 a child is the last thing I want lol. I agree with what Maya said; I’d rather live my life freely & when I’m ready, settle down & be devoted to being a mom. And if kids don’t happen for me, I’m cool with that too
@McKenzieRain151 2 жыл бұрын
I thought that too. Now I am almost 47 and wish I could experience it.
@Dids94 2 жыл бұрын
I always pictured myself having children young like early twenties. And really, you’re a baby when you’re in your 20’s! I feel like this decade is to explore yourself and your place in this crazy world! I’m 27 now and literally not worried having any children in the foreseeable future! As much as I love and adore, and truly want babies, I throughly enjoy my life just as it is, right now!
@jckfly 2 жыл бұрын
My mother had me at 38 and now at 23 I wholeheartedly agree
@Dids94 2 жыл бұрын
@@jckfly Sadly getting pregnant isn’t an option for a lot of people. Especially the older you get. It’s definitely possible, of course, and I know of women in their early 40’s still having children. But generally I believe from 25 years of age it’s starting to go downhill for women 😂
@theslenorag 2 жыл бұрын
I had my 3rd child at 43. He's healthy and blessed and we're a doing great!
@sierrajacks9831 2 жыл бұрын
Girl 35 isn't old you are at the peak...I had my baby at 40
@chikoo.chinon1497 2 жыл бұрын
35 isn’t old but the fertility issues start at age 35 usually. But most women still manage to give birth after age 35.
@Wildchile 2 жыл бұрын
the way our society is so focused and embarrassed and obsessive about age and youth, and always labeling all of us, is something i’m personally trying to accept and grow past and away from.
@victoriousneish429 2 жыл бұрын
Yep it's actually exhausting and toxic at this point. Who are they to try to determine when things should happen. Not everyone is willing to settle for less than their best. And why are we not discussing that the way we take care of ourselves play into the health and intelligence of our children?.. just some thoughts haha
@Wildchile 2 жыл бұрын
@@victoriousneish429 What do you mean less than their best? I just want to make sure I understand!
@victoriousneish429 2 жыл бұрын
@@Wildchile in other words many are pressured to hurry up instead of becoming mothers in their ideal circumstances.. I've seen this happen time after time.
@Wildchile 2 жыл бұрын
@@victoriousneish429 agreed!
@rg8162 2 жыл бұрын
You get an subscribe from me.
@MMorganLewis 2 жыл бұрын
I’m 43 with a 1 y/o and a 4 y/o. I enjoyed this video so much. My pro is financial security. Had I had children in my younger years I would have been a stressed out wreck as I wasn’t financially stable. My con is only that I have to work twice as hard to build and maintain my stamina to keep up with these little ones BUT it benefits me, my body, and my mind. Thanks for posting
@tiffany.Elizabeth. 2 жыл бұрын
I love the fact that KZfaq reccomend shows this video to me. I am 37 and just started dating someone seriously enough that I actually think I want to have children. Not ready yet, but maybe when I’m 40. It’s so great to read these comments that are so inspiring and encouraging.
@victoriarubens6002 2 жыл бұрын
So inspiring! I’m 23 and worried about when’s the right time to have children and I’m putting pressure on myself to be married and have kids in the next few years but seeing how women can have babies later on in life and be happy makes me think I can chill out and get my career going and not worry! I can also save up and be financially better for when they come and it gives me more time to find a good partner who wants the same things I do and has the same values and morals we can reach out children! So happy to be seeing this!
@lilith7706 2 жыл бұрын
Ahh, y'all not old, stop saying that repeatedly! Both of you look amazing and kick ass at what you do. 30s are the perfect age. :)
@artisticagi 2 жыл бұрын
Biologically fertility does decline after age 35- we have to be willing to be honest with ourselves so we can make fully informed decisions. I don’t know how the body changes in your 30s, mid 30s, 40s, so I can’t speak to that. But I think it’s important to be honest. I think they know they are not old old.
@lilith7706 2 жыл бұрын
@@artisticagi Yep, good point.
@justcallmebon2684 2 жыл бұрын
They technically had “geriatric pregnancies” (real medical term for 35+)
@alishamcg 2 жыл бұрын
@@artisticagi for me the difference of a few years in pregnancy felt different on my body, you will feel it!
@artisticagi 2 жыл бұрын
@@alishamcg yeah? How does it feel specifically?
@WoahhTeamJacob 2 жыл бұрын
I’m in my early 20’s and don’t want kids till my mid to late 30’s 🤷🏽♀️. I couldn’t even imagine having a kid in my 20’s… I feel the same as Maya, if it happens it happens.
@isuekegrayham 2 жыл бұрын
Same.
@Ducky190 2 жыл бұрын
Enjoy your 20s hun! I didn't think about actually having a child until my late 20s like 27 and my partner and I did everything that we needed to do before we made that final decision. I'll be 30 in march and very close to my due date. Take your time and enjoy your 20s.
@TK-cg4ks 2 жыл бұрын
Same. Another huge aspect for me is that I was forced to take care of my younger siblings for my entire childhood. It sounds like hell to raise kids until I’m 18, go to college for 4 years, and then become an actual parent a few years later. Now that I think about it, I don’t know if I’ll ever even have children. I wouldn’t want to resent them.
@chelseaaneke 2 жыл бұрын
Maya and Shannon make it look so good
@money1137 2 жыл бұрын
Had my baby at 30 years old this year. 8 months in and still wondering how people have multiple children . It blows my mind they go through this extreme exhaustion over and over again lmao
@nd4666 2 жыл бұрын
Lmao 🤣 same. It's the most exhausting and loving experience ever. I'm constantly thinking about everything
@money1137 2 жыл бұрын
@Kinya Abdulhamid-Melvin I’m not putting people with multiples down. I’m saying , I as a person, can’t fathom it feeling how I do currently. This also isn’t to say that I would never be a mother to multiples, since I’m still on my first child lol please relax I wasn’t trying to trigger anyone
@mayaj2354 2 жыл бұрын
@@money1137 I'm feeling the same, I had my son last year and I'm now 33yo. I'm so done with 1 child period 😂 idc, I don't like being pregnant at all! 😩 And I had preeclampsia so that's pretty traumatic for me
@cd1452 2 жыл бұрын
Had my 2nd in 2020 10 years later. From my 1st. Was thinking have one is so much easier.
@krystelhardesty9960 2 жыл бұрын
I have 4 kids all boys had my first at 25 and my last at 38 and to me it was never a big deal I'm more of a go with the flow kind of person and I don't care what people think, life is to short for that. I have found that a lot of women put way to much pressure on them selves to be 100% to everyone all the time well guess what you can't do that. You are only one person so someone is going to have to lose out on your 100% and that person should never be your kid, husband/partner or yourself.
@tiffanyyisrael7989 2 жыл бұрын
I wanted kids when I was in my 20s and quickly changed my mind in my 30s after working as a children's therapist for 8 years. Children are beautiful, but they're alot of work.
@WoahhTeamJacob 2 жыл бұрын
Shameless Maya does not age. Holy moly!
@itsbritt9155 2 жыл бұрын
Yeah she looks similar from 2011 … but at the same time you can see she’s a older woman by how she carries herself .
@goldengirl7625 2 жыл бұрын
I literally haven't seen her in years since her earlier YT days and she really looks dang near the same!
@Nakama1812 2 жыл бұрын
Black don’t crack + Asian don’t raisin 🤌🏾
@macarenaayala2149 2 жыл бұрын
I was a young mom at 18....by 23 I had two kids. I loved being a mom .... universe always gave me everything I needed....it was like my kids brought me blessings! Now I'm a 39 year old grandma to a two year old little queen.
@ajohonly3721 2 жыл бұрын
Grammama that’s amazing 👌
@robynology101 2 жыл бұрын
That's awesome!! Congratulations
@Misswanli 2 жыл бұрын
Black girl from Sweden here. I feel like I’m watching my two older sisters become mothers. Been watching both of you for yeeears, since I was maybe fourteen, and you have been my true role models. THANK YOU❤️🥺
@dedenmc9 2 жыл бұрын
This is soooooo random, but how is life in Sweden as a black woman?
@SKemple81 2 жыл бұрын
I was 35 when I had my first child. My money was really good. Granted I’m a little tired when dealing with my 5 year old however I have a lot more maturity and wisdom when talking to my child about things. Likely my next child if I get pregnant again I will likely be 42 or 43.
@chunky1012 2 жыл бұрын
This gives me hope. 🙏
@Sona77. 2 жыл бұрын
I’m 28 and after reading your comment, it is great to hear your experience.
@eboniameera3865 2 жыл бұрын
Shan: “we’re gonna be talking about your ass” Ryu: 🤨 *reaches to destroy the mic and avoid the betrayal*
@jisellegilliard1377 2 жыл бұрын
Enough CANNOT be said about having a village! It doesn't make it easy but it definitely makes a difference when raising a kid and how it impacts your mental health. Having support vs not having support really changes the game
@kim92689 2 жыл бұрын
This makes me so happy. I’m 32 and just coming around the idea of having a kid. So hearing this is everything
@soosterling 2 жыл бұрын
Same here 😃
@pipperlue 2 жыл бұрын
’m that 35 year old with a 10 and 12 year old and it’s pretty great. Of course my twenties were solely about parenting, but being the age I’m at now is also a cool time to start reclaiming my autonomy and freedom because it’s aligning with my children beginning to do the same. The truth is, you miss out on something no matter what you do...it’s all a tradeoff....there’s no perfect choice.
@LadyK007 2 жыл бұрын
💯
@shineb5675 2 жыл бұрын
Perfectly said 👌🏾
@bratttalie 2 жыл бұрын
As someone who’s 28 and planning on waiting at least 5 more years - this was very great 🤎 thank you! 🙏🏾
@yardleyhbk 2 жыл бұрын
33 still a good age
@theslenorag 2 жыл бұрын
LOVE, LOVE, LOVE you and Maya's candor! As a mom that had a baby at 23, 35 and 43....I have experienced the gambit of motherhood. I'd love to share my journey. Keep, Keeping it real to all the mommas!
@Diva08180703 2 жыл бұрын
Teen and early 20s mom here and the Pros- My body snapped right back after each child, I had lots of energy to keep up and stay up with my kids since I was young, I’m done “raising” my kids as of 41 and can relax in my later years, I was the cool young hip mom that my kids weren’t embarrassed to be around (well, my son!), I knew all the hip phrases and trends to keep up with my kids. Cons-I was a baby raising babies so my mistakes were more than it would have been in my 30s and 40s, I FINANCIALLY STRUGGLED, I didn’t get to go to college, I didn’t get to turn up and enjoy life like my friends did in my late teens and 20s, I lost a lot of friends and support because no one was willing to help with my kids since my friend were young themselves , I wasn’t taken seriously at times as a parent by insiders and outsiders because I was so young and most importantly, I don’t know who I am outside of being a parent because I never got a chance to learn who I am or what I can be since I’ve been a mom over half my life.
@kaceyr3226 2 жыл бұрын
I’m 37 and my husband is 45. We are trying but still no luck! All I can do is put it in Gods hands
@coconutwater4531 Жыл бұрын
Has your husband had his sperm tested?
@formerlyfoote3380 2 жыл бұрын
I'm 39 and had my son at 32. All my close friends had their kids early (between 16 - 23). Being exposed to their struggles made me want to wait because it's hard enough "just having the kid". Adding the other drama and life struggles made it even more undesirable to have a kid. I'm glad I waited and I recommend it to every young woman I come across.
@agnesmefful9661 2 жыл бұрын
Honestly I wish I heard more of Maya’s story about pregnancy and stuff. Her ideas about career and being a mom.
@annholl1603 2 жыл бұрын
Head over to her and Max’s channel 😀
@acestarone 2 жыл бұрын
She seemed to have a nice comforting birth experience.
@christinegweredza9635 2 жыл бұрын
She has two channels. Her own and one with her partner so you can watch those videos 😁
@janinekathia 2 жыл бұрын
❤️ I love this video. I had my son at 36 and my daughter at 38. I am so glad I did a lot prior to having kids because it is such a sacrifice. I wish I did more however I am excited to share the things I love with my children…especially travel.
@joeroot9142 2 жыл бұрын
You lived your life and now you’re enjoying 🤩🤩🤩 wish you the best. P.s your best yet to come
@bbydoll1222 2 жыл бұрын
My mom had my brother at 36 and me at 38 she had my little sister at 41. We’re all grown now and she’s still around and healthy and the best mother ever.
@ye23. 2 жыл бұрын
@@bbydoll1222 the pros of having kids older. Your kids will be younger when you are too old to look after yourself so they have more ability to take care of you.
@joeroot9142 2 жыл бұрын
@@ye23. you don’t have kids to look after you. Smh. That mindset needs to be cut
@ye23. 2 жыл бұрын
@@joeroot9142 yes I agree however many ppl have kids simply for that reason. I myself dont plan to have any but I know a friend whose father has cancer and she was desperate to have children so she has ppl to look after her when shes old. She just had a baby recently
@cinsilva2285 2 жыл бұрын
THEEE collab I was waiting since I got pregnant at the same time Maya got pregnant. I subscribed to your channel and maya channel a long time I got, and it feels like we are in this journey together
@kikibara1 2 жыл бұрын
When Ryu said “hi” my mouth literally dropped, i just wasn’t expecting her to actually follow Shan and say it! I cant believe this baby that was JUST in Shans tummy said a whole word. It feels like shes still an infant meanwhile shes out here saying words and doing backflips lmfao
@ClaireHaire 2 жыл бұрын
*I straddled the poverty line all through my 20s , why would I bring a mini me along for the ride? I’m in my 30s n it’s much better not only financially but, psychologically I would’ve been a terrible mom bc I did not have an ounce of patience in my early 20s. My mom had my 10lb, 23inch self at 40 n I’m not the youngest.*
@TheGoodylady 2 жыл бұрын
My mom had me at age 21, was a single mom and sacrificed so much. The upside is that we are very close I have had decades of life with her and she is still relatively a young mom (57) and I am in my mid 30’s. I will say she really instilled in me to wait to have kids until my late 30’s/40’s. When I graduated from law school at 24, I told myself I wasn’t going to have kids in my 20’s. I am starting that journey now and getting my health/ body ready. If it happens it happens…. I will say there is nothing “old” about the both of you - you are mature mothers and know who you are and have truly lived your lives unapologetically. BTW- I also heard that having younger male partners heightens your chances. Thanks for this content. I have been a fan of Maya’s since she lived in NYC and a fan of Shannon’s since she her single days in her Canadian apartment. ❤️
@thisiselodie 2 жыл бұрын
Gonna send this to my mom. Lol I'm 27, African, and raised in the South so feeling that pressure. I wouldn't regret my life if I didn't birth kids. If I choose to parent, fostering or adoption is what I feel called to do.
@YaraMel 2 жыл бұрын
African moms are a different bred lool relate!
@elleobi 2 жыл бұрын
It's funny to hear a woman in her mid-thirties call herself old 😄 I get it, though! Every decade I look back and smile at how my perspective has changed. Everything is relative, right!? Old mommies, Young mommies, ALL mommies 💪💐
@Gypsi 2 жыл бұрын
This is refreshing because I’m 23 and I feel somewhat pressured to have my shit together and to have a baby at 26. Literally almost everyone I know has a baby and I feel like I’m missing out on. It’s nice to know it’s okay
@alysong5568 2 жыл бұрын
As a child of an older parent (37 at birth), I can say the pros far outweigh the cons. Myself and many others I've met just tend to be "old souls" from a very young age. More calm, more grounded, more sure of ourselves. And a lot of that has to do with the benefit of having a parent that has ALREADY done most of their maturing. The kid and parent aren't growing up together, and so the parent can more readily take their child and lead them. However, make sure your retirement is in order, because the one drawback is relatively young people in their 20s and 30s, such as myself, that have the looming financial responsibility of an aging parent while we're still trying to get our own lives stable.
@lataviaj7399 2 жыл бұрын
I’m 22 and when I tell my family the earliest I want to have a baby is 27 (and I may not even want one at that age when I get there) they tell me that’s old. I love seeing you and Maya have children in your 30s because that’s when you were ready and no when others told you to be ready. Taking care of another human is a huge responsibility and I would rather take care of me first so when I eventually have one I won’t feel feel like I missed out on anything. The possible complications that can happen are worth the risk to me. And if I can’t have my own adoption is a thing.
@Ducky190 2 жыл бұрын
Yeah my grandma literally told me that at 26 I mind as well have had a hysterectomy because I was to old to have kids. Now I am 29 going on 30 expecting our first little bundle of joy. In her eyes I guess I was supposed to have kids as soon as I graduated highschool. I enjoyed all of my 20s and I don't regret not a single second of it.
@lataviaj7399 2 жыл бұрын
@@Ducky190 awww congrats!! I am so happy you didn’t listen to her. I hope you and baby are safe and that you have a very safe birth!! This made my night💖
@molebogengm7456 2 жыл бұрын
I am about to turn 28 and I am nowhere near ready to have a baby, lol 😆
@tegalicocious 2 жыл бұрын
I am 30 years old and I always knew I didn’t want kids in my 20s I want to start trying at 35… I always worry if I am doing the right thing.,, thank you for this video
@jupiterstone827 2 жыл бұрын
I had a baby at 24, and another at 30--very different experiences for various reasons. I'd consider having one in my late 30s as well (five year gaps are awesome). I feel like the number one thing I've learned despite my age is I need to handle my trauma and not let that interfere with my parenting. I've learned my children are independent of me, and I need to raise them as such. But operating from logic and not fear is my goal. It's super hard. It requires a lot of self reflection, and honestly I may have never faced my childhood trauma had it not been for my kids. I'd forgotten so much, but when I'd become really angry or frustrated with them I had to dig deep and analyze if my response was logical or if it was a trauma response. Shan, I've been binge watching your videos today! Maya you are so awesome. Thank you two for sharing your experiences.
@ksam5673 2 жыл бұрын
Or maybe just operating from love because love is the opposite of fear. Logic tends to be quite linear & black/white.
@shawndeelooney2690 2 жыл бұрын
Thank you, both. This has been SO helpful as a mom at 31 of a 2 year old and dad being 51. This is so meaningful and so true and hearing other women talking about issues I have had too! Thank you. I am tearing up at the end listening to y’all. Thank you. 🥰
@therealempress 2 жыл бұрын
Isn't that nice Shan? You don't even need fillers. What a compliment.💕
@eartha360 2 жыл бұрын
Nobody needs fillers
@lolalolady 2 жыл бұрын
Love this conversation! I always feel like Your videos offers so much guidance. You’re like a wise big sister I’m so many ways and hearing your experiences always leave me with new things to consider. You make so many challenging topics feel approachable and it makes me hopeful. Grateful for this conversation between you and Maya. Loved it!
@BriannaSam1 2 жыл бұрын
I love hearing baby Saga in the background crying... the realness of it all!!! Great job ladies. Y'all are killing it.
@brooklynforever1990 2 жыл бұрын
God bless to all the older mama’s! My mom (May she Rest In power) had me at 38. People will always offer unsolicited advice, motherhood doesn’t come with a manual. Be gentle with yourselves.
@nazikiwe8259 2 жыл бұрын
Thank you so much for this video🙏🏾. I'm 37 and in a new relationship and the outside pressure to have a child is REAL
@mahiavalle 2 жыл бұрын
This convo is amaziiiiiiiiing omg… and I relate to maya so much, seriously enjoyed being a mama in its fullest and now with baby #2 on the way I’m feeling more like being a SnapBack queen this time around! Every pregnancy is different
@Lene-ib7qz 2 жыл бұрын
15:59 wow!!! Thank you for this Maya! Thanks to both of you for this video. I appreciate it.
@kionaiporter33 2 жыл бұрын
Totally feel like the 3rd musketeer here 😂 also firstly, I’ve followed you BOTH for over a decade. So I feel like we’ve already grown together. But I just had my first baby girl at 38, pregnant at 37 - also with a younger man 😂 I shared some of the same ideals about children- not putting pressure on myself to have kids, and being confident that I’ll have them when the time is right . Even at times when I think I maybe could’ve had a child sooner I remind myself that it wouldn’t have been HER. You know? I’m so proud of you both and agree with sooo much of what was said in this video. Except the old part. We not old.😅😅😅
@KCinspireME 2 жыл бұрын
This is everything I needed today! Love you both, so great combo, and as a 35 year old without kids, this topic runs through my mind almost daily. Thank you for sharing your thoughts!
@notascrabbleword 2 жыл бұрын
I am SO thankful for this conversation!! Thank you for posting this :)
@catbeara 2 жыл бұрын
My mom didn't have me - her first child - until she was 34, and she had my youngest sibling at 41. Over 35 has never seemed like an old age to have a child to me. 😅
@YASMINOGBU Жыл бұрын
I love that your both speaking from experience. I really respect that! So many pod casts out there, giving advice on things they have never lived out. It comes from a totally different place!
@diamondfirenf 2 жыл бұрын
i love the honesty in this conversation
@iloveunique07 2 жыл бұрын
I truly enjoyed this conversation. You ladies freakin rock!
@crispyliza7050 2 жыл бұрын
My mom had both me and my sister after 35 and we're now both perfectly healthy in our 20s
@stefanie320 2 жыл бұрын
I related so much to this video. Had my first at 35, the first few months were insane adjusting. But my son is 2 now and it’s amazing. I love being an older mom and it inspires me to stay fit so I can hopefully see his kiddos!
@GinaCriv 2 жыл бұрын
I love Maya, she is so transparent, unfeigned, and uncontrived...standing in her truth (and Max too, for that matter...so relatable. She has such a relatable spirit. Bless her and her little family.
@msjreneful 2 жыл бұрын
I was thinking the same thing!
@CharmagneGood 2 жыл бұрын
Thank you for this! First of all Shan and Maya! Love you both and have been watching you both for years. Second, I am 32, divorced and no kids and I have been putting so much pressure on myself to have kids and this was so helpful. I love when Maya said it doesn’t matter if I have kids because I’m living a beautiful life anyways. Thank you so much for this!
@Mathabo_Tlali 2 жыл бұрын
Inspiring and informative - been a follower of both of you for years, it's a blessing to witness y'all growing together still.
@TheHeartsandcake90 Жыл бұрын
Thank y'all sooooo much for this! I'm 32, married, and don't want to have kids just yet. I love to hear the true perspectives of older moms!
@nunabanuna 2 жыл бұрын
My mom had me at 40, and I love her to death. Compared to my siblings, who are 10 and 14 years older than me, I got to enjoy things they didn’t due to the financial stability my parents had acquired by then (better school, vacations, etc). But, at the same time, I always had trouble relating to my parents and vice versa because of the massive age difference. It also makes me sad that I will have 10 years less with them in life. But hey, there’s no use being upset about it so I enjoy every moment I can with them ❤️
@charity7773 2 жыл бұрын
I hope your mom parents live 10 years more than others. Blessings and long life. Peace be with you.
@nunabanuna 2 жыл бұрын
@@charity7773 thank you ❤️🙏🏼 I wish the same for your family 😊
@ye23. 2 жыл бұрын
Firstly you dont know if they will outlive you or not so you cant just say you’ll have 10 years less with them. Second, nobody relates to parents regardless of age. Theyre your parents not your friends
@nunabanuna 2 жыл бұрын
@@ye23. I meant ten years less than my siblings. And I happen to disagree, but to each their own. 😊
@robynology101 2 жыл бұрын
You will keep them young.
@trini18alday Жыл бұрын
I didn't know how much I needed this video, but I'm so happy the KZfaq algorithm was looking out for me. I'm 34 and the conflicting thoughts of waiting vs not consumes me more than I'd like. Thank you ladies for sharing; this put a lot into perspective for me.
@poetictaiya 2 жыл бұрын
Love this. I’m going to be 38 next month and I always wondered if I should have tried sooner but at the same time I know I wouldn’t have been ready for those sacrifices. Hoping to start that journey next year.
@Olladar Жыл бұрын
Ive been living for this friendship since your video on saving til marriage and I’m just ECSTATIC you two are still connected
@BreannLaFaye 2 жыл бұрын
The "Hi Dad" in the last 5secs of the vid... MY HEART HAS NOW MELTED
@UTubeThatBadBoy 2 жыл бұрын
Great conversation! Appreciate all the insights! Thank you!
@Yuniperez2335 Жыл бұрын
Such a great and reassuring video, thank you both so much!! 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
@rainbowchampagne10 2 жыл бұрын
ive loved you guys since way back when, so beautiful that you're both moms now🥲
@pamk1967 2 жыл бұрын
Hi Ryu!!! Great vlog Shan👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾💕
@jadealexander6277 2 жыл бұрын
This hits home. I'm older, dating younger and ttc. I have received the stigma for not having kids earlier, however, I don't regret my decision. I'm much more mentally, physically, and financially prepared than in my youth.
@BBXioful 2 жыл бұрын
Thank you for this conversation. Seeing my parents be young parents growing up it made me want to focus on my professional life and slowly venture into being a parent if it’s in the cards for me. I’m traveling, thriving professionally and am turning 31 soon and I’m soooo happy I took the steps i decided at a very young age. I’m getting married soon and we’re deciding to wait as well before we start. For me it had been the best decision and love that my fiancé is on board as well and not adding that pressure.
@yaaaalodie 2 жыл бұрын
Omg the skin dryness I experienced on and off throughout pregnancies and most partum we're crazzzzzy!!! Shea butter all the way!
@blackyogini 2 жыл бұрын
As a woman turning 30 next year so happy and inspired to see women, especially you Shan, that I’ve looked up to literally thriving at being themselves and being mums !! 💜💐
@CeceDeAnn 2 жыл бұрын
This is really perfect timing, I was just thinking of this because I turn 26 in 2 days. I wanted to start in my early 30s but realistically i don’t think ill be done enjoying living solely for myself 24/7. I feel like in my mid 30s would be better after Im done with my accomplishments and I’ll have had years to enjoy the fruits of my labor with little responsibility. I sometimes have this picture in my head of being an old ass mom in kindergarten but then i log on to social media and see people like you & Mya who I’ve been watching since high school. It brings me back to reality and helps me remember that 30s-40s is not old I’m just spending too much time on TikTok 😂
@micaela_jordan 2 жыл бұрын
I really appreciate your comparisons of your life’s/ how you want to be as people after becoming a mum. I’m a younger mum and have only discover the career path I want to go down, mostly because of everything I went through when I was pregnant. Sometime I feel guilty for wanting to start a career/ be my open person now I have a child but it was so lovely to see you both doing different things but solidifying both are ok to choose. It just reminded me I can be career driven and embrace old me into my life and still be a good mum so Thankyou as I have been really struggling with comparing myself to other mums that arnt doing that x
@nikkichristinar 2 жыл бұрын
Yall the MVPs!!! This topic is gold!!!
@dianixxza11 2 жыл бұрын
Just wanted to thank you for suggesting BetterHelp. It literally saved my life ❤️🙏
@izzye7307 2 жыл бұрын
As a first time older mom, NEEDED this! 🙌🏾
@jewelsjewels3655 2 жыл бұрын
❤❤❤ this and I'm only 2 mins in. This is becoming more realistic in today's time for a lot of women.
@jb-ze1yh 2 жыл бұрын
I love being an older mom. I have a centered happy life and my son is thriving. I wouldn’t change the timing of my pregnancy and delivery ( pregnant at 37, gave birth at 38). Now more motivated to get fit, healthy and continue down this path of growth for my son and I! 🙏
@2plusour4 2 жыл бұрын
Looooove this video. I had my older two kids in my early 20's and my younger in my early 40's. Not much mommy content for older moms...this is great. Thank you.
@sassteann 2 жыл бұрын
Loved this. As an older Mom with a younger Dad, so can relate.
@nazzyguzman2482 2 жыл бұрын
This is so refreshing, just had my by two months ago, had my baby a day before my 39 birthday, is hard but is worth it, struggled for 19 years to have him. Is a big change and maya is right at first it was like what in the world!!! But as time goes by is getting easier, just glad I am not the only one feeling like this and is some what normal.
@zeeb116 2 жыл бұрын
31 w/ a 6 month old!! Aaand It’s lit over here! CONSTANTLY grateful for stepping into motherhood when I already did the work to solidify my identity as a woman with Grace and space for who I would become…fancy way for saying, younger me knew she was unprepared…bb came at the right time 🥰✨
@beautifulsavage1245 2 жыл бұрын
Yes finally this discussion is being had with the both of your lovely ladies . Love the transparency and being a woman in my early 30 ‘s I enjoy live conversations on this topic . Many blessings to you guys and your families . 🦋💙
@martinmusomba7220 2 жыл бұрын
You two ladies have achieved so much in your lives shameless maya travelled the world !! Shanbody has had a wonderful career what perfect timing for this episode!!
@Iamheretobeafriend8- 2 жыл бұрын
Thank you for your support as an older young woman ☺️
@SunshineJoleen 2 жыл бұрын
Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU for the disclaimer telling young women that we cannot wait forever! My fertility battle began at 31 yet, when I was 33, after YEARS of not getting pregnant, when I told people I wanted to try all they said was WAIT! Enjoy your youth! You have SO MUCH TIME! I asked some of them if they would pay for my IVF if their advice turned out to be wrong. If it turned out I was never able to have my own biological children, would they give me theirs? Would they come to my house so I could cry on their shoulders when menopause closed that door for good?
@rainerwells1573 2 жыл бұрын
Older not old! I appreciate this. Seriously
@MsQueenofhearts10 2 жыл бұрын
Thank you, I needed this. Dating has been frustrating and exhausting. I beat myself up being my early 30s and have not found the right match to settle down and have kids. My career is pretty good, I want everything to match up perfectly and be 100% right.
Shan BOODY
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