Dear women, it’s NOT up to us to fix broken men.

The irony is that he managed to communicate the fact that he's a bad communicator ....

Leave him alone sis, it only gets worse, trust me, I’ve dated I guy like this .

“We need to stop punishing ourselves for the experience of others” PREACH!

This is why I multi dated, I kept my options open and stayed busy elevating my own life. I had no time for the bs & they had no choice but to pursue me. If they didn’t, I would block them. Then move on.

“Strategic neglect” says it all

The key word here is PRIORITY. Generally us women can feel when a guy is communicating like we are a priority. Because even if he's busy, he's gonna find time to shoot you a quick nice text at SOME point that day. It's worse when they WERE talking with you great everyday for a period of time (ie a month) only to significantly slow down and skip days. Cuz now they got me all excited to talk to them everyday and they start ghosting. No mam 😤

Precisely if a guy has shitty behavior in the beginning ( lack of communication, broke, cheap, ect) it only gets worse & not better.

Most of the time "being real with you" is just a nice way of stating "I'm a jerk." 🙄 Don't invest in that.

there are some men who deliberately ignore to keep control and when you do the same all hell breaks loose...

He's simply not available no matter what the reasons are ,you can't date a ghost. He need a counselor not a girlfriend.

We as women are too forgiving with men on their past upbringing! Let them heal on their own and not bare the burden on YOU! My dad walked away when I was a young child but I will never take that out on a guy I am dating...!

If the tables were turned, he would be gone so quick!!

I was talking to a guy he's always working he's always been bad at communicating. He never have his phone on him. I just stoped talking to him. No time for that

"He's a drain" Definition: a manboy, who shows initial interest and attraction, with no intention for serious or long term connection. Loves female attention and to be chased. Contributes minimal communication and effort. Lacks emotional boundaries and sometimes empathy. Appears indifferent and uses short bursts of warmth followed by long periods of silence. May use a females own emotions against them to diminish, confuse and fool. Due to early childhood trauma may seek revenge for their emotionally neglectful or abusive mothers. Exhausting and draining to be involved with.

3 weeks??? Lord have mercy. After 3 days I would get frustrated

3 weeks? Smh! He is just not that into you. A lot of people have been through traumatic experiences, but they are still willing to open up and love.

Kev, he will tell the woman he don't want a serious relationship, he don't want kids yet, the woman will stay 5 yrs then she breaks it off. In 6months he engaged to his soulmate 1 yr later he on social media rubbing his wife's baby bumb. Don't fall for the lies. The first time he disappoints....Show your anger!!! if he cares for real he will make the change. If not Show your ANGER and move on. Stop being so nice.

At this point in my life, my best advice is don’t be afraid to have standards. We want to be loved so badly that we’re afraid to show someone we’re upset or to just walk away. But here’s the truth, when you’re not afraid of who’s leaving, you’re making room for the right guy to step in and stay. By letting these losers take up our time, it’s like taking up a parking space, the right guy can’t stop and park now, he has to keep driving by. I promise you, by having standards and not taking crap, you’re just sorting out the good from the bad. You’re not losing anything when a guy who isn’t right for you walks out the door. Don’t be afraid to say he’s not enough, if he isn’t.

I agree , everyone went through some traumatic situation in life , heal and move on . I know it can be hard but trying can work ...Women Stop Nursing these Baby Men 👍

I sure bet he was "communicating " with other people (women) for the last 3 weeks! Yes ! He is grooming her for expecting a little bit of effort from him. Plus, pulling the emotional manipulation card! He will always use that excuse of a bad childhood for not being decent. Thing is, if he KNOWS that is his problem. he can sure face and fix THAT problem and heal. Not her responsibility! "Strategic neglect ", love how you coined that phrase.

When a man is interested in you,Trust and Believe he will find a way to keep in touch,Dude has something else going on and he's making excuses,Believe always what a man does it says everyrhing......

Why do women jump to "he had a bad childhood" as a justification to accept indecent behavior?

Kevin is absolutely 1000%. Everyone has a sad story and look at Kevin's personal story. Tell any guy to "go work on himself." And he can call you when hes done and if you are available then you may be open. We must admit that in this case we women are also to blame for enabling this behavior.!

Yep, my ex was molested and is an alcoholic, he’s mean, abusive, 32 and is renting a room from a stranger, works two jobs to make ends meet...he sleeps around and is unable to recognize real love and therefore he could not receive my love. I walked away from that mess. I tried my best to be patient and even found him a counselor. Once I saw he wasn’t trying to fix his broken pieces on his own...I walked. Period. Not my broken heart to fix. Men have to want to fix their own stuff. Walk away and take his non-communication as a blessing from God. He’s trying to save you.

If a guy brings up that he wants to see your place or he invites you to his place. There are killers out there, so be safe.

Just because a man gives you excuses doesn’t make it right....

How does Kev only have 171K subscribers??? Women around the world need this guy to go viral.

I don’t understand why these people that aren’t responding or not interested just don’t say they’re not interested in more than occasional chat or that they just want to be a platonic friend. It’s like a dog chasing its tail trying to get those kind to communicate when they just don’t want to. Cut your losses and find a guy that wants to talk to you with no BS excuses.

*ONE THING THAT HE COMMUNICATED VERYYYYYYYY WELL IS THE FACT THAT HE DOESN'T CARE ABOUT HER. HE STAYED GONE FOR 3 WEEKS. BOYCHILE / MANCHILD BYEEEEEE🙄🙄🙄*

I just broke up with my fiance because of him being a bad communicator. We were on top of the world in a happy relationship but every now and then he would not respond to my calls or texts for a day or two. After the 4th time, I had it with him. I broke up with him. It still hurts because I though he was going to be the one for me. But if I was going through this during the so called honeymoon phase of the relationship, that would be an indication of the problems I would have after we get married. If he don't value me now and communicate, he certainly won't value me later as a husband. We can't change a man, he has to want to change.

So I dated a guy who would text or call sometimes but could go long periods without talking to me & never initiated seeing me. When asked about this, he said that's just the way he is and that he was used to people reaching out to him all the time. He described it as a weakness. So I was like ok, everyone is different, maybe I'm being clingy or asking too much... I stayed in it. Months into the relationship, he says he knows he's not the best bf but he does enough 2 get by. I thought to myself.... okay, Is that right?! That told me 2 things. #1, like Kev says, he was aware that he should/could do more and #2 he was only trying to get his needs met & didn't care enough about me to change (like Kev says again).... 1 day I woke up and thought, why am I accepting this? I reminded myself of my worth and decided that it/he was not enough and I deserved better. We broke up shortly after. Now, although there are things I miss about him & our relationship, I dont miss all the times I felt invisible and felt like I was working for his time & attention. I promise myself that I'll never give my time to any man who doesn't match my levels of effort and interest from the get go. Never again!

Kev, you are the truth!!!! Girlfriend, that man is trying to keep you as an option or plan B.

It’s NOT your job to heal a man.. He needs to do the work and you can pray for and support him. Kev is right, he told you how he is.. don’t settle sis.

Hope it doesn't sound like I'm yelling, just really passionate about people "not getting treated like shit." I don't know why that part made me laugh. 😭

He is full of ish 😂😂😂.. bottomline ... walk away

Thanks Kev. This the big brother advice we all needed. Fair exchange of energy ✊🏾

Is he adding to my life ? He's used to women figuring out stuff for him. .love it ! Disclosure. The act is the truth. He's grooming to accept lie standards. He chooses to be bad . He doesn't care.

Two words Kev said that just dinged in my head & will forever be etched “ STRATEGIC NEGLECT” which is probably a cousin of gaslighting.

"A receiver of Love, not a Giver of Love."..... wow, that was a powerful statement...... Takers

This video is like ripping the band aid off. It needed it be said 👏🏾

Thanks for the tough love Kev. This is the honest truth!!!

This is so true. Had a guy ghost me for 3 days on more than one occassion, usually around important days (new yrs eve, birthday, valentines) then come back the day after talking bout he just gets into a mood when he is stressed and ignores his phone. Anyways long story short I told him I require more (i.e. better communication and occasional dates) and I didn't think we were going to move pass our "talking to get to know each other phase". This is because all we did was text caz he was "not the social type, hates ppl, dont like to go out, just wanna hang at the house" type. Well if he didn't act like a whole bitch when I told him I wasnt interested in taking our situation further...told me I lack understanding and that I was not the type of woman he could have a future with if he couldnt be allowed to make "simple" mistakes. Then like a true bitch he blocked me. Lmaoo. Funniest shit ever. The garbage took itself out. Imagine he cant take me out on a date but wanted to know if sex was on the menu any time soon. Boy bye!

We’re in the age of dating sites so men are constantly searching for the next best thing. Either to add to his variety or find someone better looking than you. So he doesn’t have time to call or text 🤷🏾‍♀️

Hey, Kev... Are you overcoming a cold or something? Your voice sounds a bit scratchy. If so, I hope you feel better soon. Hey, ladies, this one's for you: If he is NOT making you HIS PRIORITY, YOU'RE JUST AN OPTION FOR WHEN HE GETS BORED. A man who loves you or cares for you, will prioritize you by making sure he texts you back within an hour, calls you back THE MINUTE he gets the free time... And, when he stops asking about your well-being, stops saying goodnight or good morning, and then doesn't budge when you tell him how that makes you feel, cut him loose. You're not important to him. Kev Hick taught us that.

3 weeks??? That’s almost a month. No man let’s you be without him that long, if he’s taking you seriously. That’s too much time for another guy to come along. He either knows he already has her conned, or he simply doesn’t care, or both.

My “favorite” excuse is when they say they’ve had problems with their phone for 3 weeks. That’s just an insult to my intelligence. It’s 2020, getting a new phone or fixing your current one isn’t that hard or expensive.

You are so intelligent Kev. Thank you, I blocked my ex today! He was causing me a lot of trauma by being in an out, not adding to my life, but rather taking away from it.

I'm dating a poor communicator but guess what...he communicates although briefly almost daily. If you are on his mind he will at least hit you up to say hey how you doing. Plus if I dont hear from him he wont hear from me! I'm too old to chase men.

In the past I would give chances but ive learnt my lesson...if someone disappears once you can forgive but if they do it twice you need to cut it off ASAP! And it’s so empowering! Ladies stand up for your mental and emotional health don’t allow someone to come in and out of your life causing you worry and distress! (And by the way if he’s a really ‘bad communicator’ tell him you’re really bad at having sex before 6 months and see what happens)

Yep, 💯! Met a guy and he was texting and calling first week and told him some of my views and one is I don’t believe in chasing men. He then ghosted for 4days and reached out with some hello nonsense which I responded very generically. A week later he texts happy Mother’s Day..ughhh I’m done. This video is on point no need to even respond to low effort. Waste of time.. Tell his azz to take a communication class or whatever... I’m no therapist and don’t have time to heal you from your childhood issues. Video is on point. Thank you.

Thanks for that message 👍 😁 these guys are emotionally unavailable! Don't be playing wifey when dating! Its not my job to take his trauma aka bs into account okay got it! I been through alot trauma too but I don't make that an excuse to be a doormat or a codependent. Now a days it's hard to find healthy balanced traditional masculine men but I will not settle !

Great advice Kev! He went 3weeks without sending a text or call, she should've ignored him. It's obvious that he's not interested. Hopefully, she's moved on.

I’ve gotten to the point where I don’t really care if he calls or texts me 🤷🏿‍♀️’ I’ve soon realized’ I’m the princess 👸🏿 the ish ‘ that makes the ish! ISH! I’m sick and tired of feeling like I have something to prove all of the time! Not understanding that I’m the prize! The entire TIME!!!!💃🏿💃🏿💃🏿💃🏿💃🏿💃🏿💃🏿

Damn I wish someone had talked to me about this and explained like you do on here. I'd be in such a better place today!!!

Too often not only do we buy into another's lame excuses for their horrible behavior, but we also buy into our own lame excuses about the other's horrible behavior toward us, because we want to believe they really are a good person.

Hey Kev! Thank you so much. I just cut this guy off a few days ago. Same old story. Saying he'll text or call and then a wk later I get a "Wyd" My delete & block game is strong!

I totally agree with you! Kev, you hit the nail on the head! As for the girl, the man is obviously not interested and doesn't give a damn about you or how you feel! He is a narcissist! I know it hurts deeply! Get rid of him! He is definitely playing games!

This guy nailed it. It's the truth The guys isn't intrested enough

My dad had an insanely horrible childhood with a violent drunken father. He's never raised a hand to us and I've never seen him tipsy. His twin is an abusive drunk. My aunt thought she could help him... for 50 years. Poor lady😣

He communicated when he took your phone number... His communication was on point.. Direct. What the puck.. don't fall for the okie-doke

Dam Kev! You just schooled me on my last two relationship with this video. I was so stressed after the last one I started smoked again😣 I've been binge watching your videos trying figure how to dating smarter! Thx for all you help keep up the good work!

I've dated someone who's father was murdered, brother died in a accident, had a shitty childhood and experiences all around and honestly as much as you love them and they might love you it does not get better if they don't heal what's in themselves and I've had a fucked up childhood myself and trying to heal him left me more broken than it left him. I felt like he was punishing me for all the shit he's been through and thank God because NEVER AGAIN! Will I ever put myself through that again. Trust me it is not worth it! At all! Now I don't want to be in any relationship anymore. Run!

So true. Let him go. He just told you he cant give you what you need. He's not into you.

Real talk! It's his way of prepping you to accept his bs.

Preaching like a true leader. It took me a lot of work and pain to finally accept accountability for every hardship experience I put myself through. Love it

3 weeks ? Girl leave that man alone he doesn’t want you

3 weeks??!! His ass would’ve BEEN and graduated to my block list after being ignored the first time.

I just went through this, and I walked away already. I'm not going to waste my time waiting for someone who no longer cares about me. I still like him, but I like myself even more and I'm gonna go somewhere else to get what I deserve. Thank you for your words!!

I’m literally crying. It hits so close to home. Such a powerful message I desperately needed to hear. Thank you, I need to say good bye again.

Totally agree...😍 run the other way fast before you get totally involved with him or her. It happened to me that's why I know.

Great advice and so true "where I'm from, everyone has a sad song"....don't be a "fixer"...keep walking sis❤

Kev, you are speaking some powerful truth. Many times men will tell you that dealing with something and can't commit. Yet when you decide to let him go you will see him on social media doing everything with his new woman he claimed he was not able to do with you.

Honestly thank you sm this was so fucking helpful I’m the type of person to try and help and be there for people even if they ain’t there for me but I needa focus on who is there for me and not care about anyone else

Strategic Neglect. Finally found out what it’s called. Thank You!!

Strategic Neglect....game changing phrase and concept. Women need to know this...THANK YOU.

This is certainly helpful to many women who tend to overthink and cling on to the mixed signals. This happens because of our bias (we want to believe), our craving for love, and often a lack of sense of self (codependency tendency). You have a good heart and are hungry for love, but there are selfish takers that will only think of their own interest, even when they appear as "nice guys" to you. Ladies, men who use their traumatic past and tell you sob stories early on, are often of the worst kind : they have a victim mentality and don't intend to grow. As Kev said, it's a subtle tactic to groom you for crumbs. Covert narcissists and psychopaths and cluster b people know it well. Everybody has baggage and trauma, but using it in the beginning as a badge of honor, when you should be on your best behavior, is always a red flag.

Thank you! Your words are wisdom. Thank you for letting me know I don't have to eat crums, and I can say with out regret next and prioritise my self love...Neeeext! Xoxo from Central America El Salvador.

absolutely if he ADMITS it then he knows ... and if he knows it means he now has a CHOICE to change if he isn’t making effort to change / get help ... then is a lost cause and staying with is only enabling ... sometimes people need loses in order to change ... thank you Kev 🙏

Similar situation without the past history. Always busy never enough time for me but always texting good morning, sending little emojis during the day and good nights. I constantly questioned him why I couldn’t see him. Lasted a month until I called his game. He ghosted me. Haven’t had a text since. True. If you’re not interested, just be a grown adult and say something. Ghosting and being strung on really hurts!

I’ve had a guy who told me that he was interested in me and wanted me to be his girlfriend but he would only text me one time out of the month and then he had the nerve to ask me why haven’t I been the one reaching out to him. Bye! I don’t chase men.

My goodness ! I wish I have heard this 30 years ago. Both of my husbands lost their mommys at 14 and used that as an excuse for every damn thing in the world. And I was young and dumb enough to buy into that until I didn't . This is one of your better msgs. It could be flip sided too. Women do this too oh my dad hit me thats why im crazy etc. Thank you for this. Much needed!

I was sacrificing myself to help him smh

Thank you Kev ! ...I’m moving on for sure ! Love your new car series ! Fair exchange of energy!

Damn Kevyn, this was brutal! But so needed... Thank you keeping woman in check. Sometimes some of us need to hear some tough love in order to keep going in the right track. 🙏

💯 correct! And ladies Always know your value and add tax!

This is the most on point talk I've been a witness of! Thank you, Kev!

Thank you so much for this video. It gave me everything I needed. We all been through shit, it doesn’t give you an excuse to treat someone bad.

This is my favourite video of yours, Kevin! Thanks for being so blunt. I love it. 🙌

Ladies let these men heal on their own it's not our responsibility to fix them. A man that's really interested will display that. Someone that has one foot in and one foot out isn't interested. Communication is everything without it, it won't work. Stop being a place holder for these dudes not worth it.

This message came just in time. These words are just what I needed to hear right now. Thank you!

Thankyou for calling out this terrible behaviour! Thankyou for continuing to share wisdom 🙏🏾

God bless you Kev, you are a wonderful mentor for all. I wish you the best and many blessings for you and your family. You deserve it!!!

Mannnn you did this one, and right on time for a lot of us, we always try to figure out why he's not calling, what we need to do to make it better but the truth is like you said despite that persons childhood/experiences, if they truly want you in their lives they would give the same energy that you give, no excuses. I've seen men do that to one woman and the next woman he's all over. Women we need to listen and understand what's being said by Kev, all true!! Love as always Kev!!!

this was also driving me crazy, going thru the same things. I kept feeling like I need to give more but you using that job analogy really puts things into perspective. Thank you

Kevin, I have to thank you for your advice. You should be a therapist. Because you are articulate and blunt and encouraging and even funny. I learn so much from your classes. Thank you!

Oh my God, THANK YOU Kev! Someone who is near and dear to me and is someone very close to me, is living this very scenario! Each of us may have issues that may derive from messed up childhoods. There comes a point in life when we must put down the emotional baggage from our childhood and stop carrying it into every chapter of our life. This guy is successful, he is worth millions and acclaimed. But he treats this woman I love like garbage, and then when he is done striking her and cheating on her, he always says.... *"I have trust issues from my childhood growing up in a rough neighborhood, I'm sorry"* And each time she takes him back. SMH.... A woman can offer a man love, just as he should return that love and support to his woman. But none of us must use our baggage as a reason or justification for treating someone we supposedly care about, like trash. Another sage bit of advice, great video.

These car vlogs are a GREAT idea. Keep them coming 👏🏾👍🏾

Sir, your advice is 100% self-love and improvement. Have a beautiful day

Always get to know a guy,by communicate and learn to do it very well